Author Topic: How do you recover from burnout? ALL advice and compassion appreciated  (Read 12147 times)

brunetteUK

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Re: How do you recover from burnout? ALL advice and compassion appreciated
« Reply #150 on: September 18, 2019, 02:50:38 PM »
Burnout update: I have some energy! I can leave the house and go some place where there are people, noises, commotion and so on for a few hours. Not everyday but say once a week. I can leave and go somewhere quiet but still public and chat to a friend for a few hours, a few times a week.

I've started meditating and I'm not going to say it has changed my life or had any significant impact. It just is very nice to sit still, let my thoughts get organised, feel the emotions, pay attention to my breath and then come out of it feeling a bit more calm. It feels nice to give my brain a break.

The main takeaway of my burnout reflections so far is this: we put a lot of value on cognitive skills, on being a smart cookie, on having brainpower, on being book smart. Yes, that's important but it does not make a life. It's like building a table with two legs; it migh stay standing but any little tremor and it won't stay up.

Here are MMM land, who are the people we love to hate? The ones who never look at their bank statement! They have no idea of what is happening to their money! They don't have any strategy to manage it! They close their eyes shut very hard, say they don't have any options and there is nothing they can do better, they are just doomed to fail.

I've been like that my whole life, with the emotional stuff. I just knew the situation was bad. But I didn't want to know how bad. Was it the equivalent of 10k in debt or was it more like 100k debt at 30% interest rates? Why face it when I had no idea how to address it? Why think about it when it got me so depressed? It seemed all trouble and very little reward.

I'm struggling big time to accept that I'm changing, that I will have a "new" personality. That the way I work will change. That I will ask for my needs to be met by the people whose needs I aim to fulfill. That I will meditate and talk about all that woo woo self-care stuff. That I will prioritise my wellbeing and say no other things (practical example is drinking alcohol; I enjoy going to the pub with my colleagues on a friday, I enjoy going out dancing with friends, but my enjoyable alcohol limit is 2 glasses which is very party-pooper and I will get much pushback on it).

A big part of who I am is to be very diplomatic, accomodating and passive. But some extent of that will change. My big burnout struggle is not so much deciding what needs to go, what needs to change, it's a lot to do with accepting who I am, accepting the limits, facing reality that I can't achieve everything I set my mind to.

WalkaboutStache

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Re: How do you recover from burnout? ALL advice and compassion appreciated
« Reply #151 on: September 19, 2019, 07:31:46 AM »
Burnout update: I have some energy! I can leave the house and go some place where there are people, noises, commotion and so on for a few hours. Not everyday but say once a week. I can leave and go somewhere quiet but still public and chat to a friend for a few hours, a few times a week.

I've started meditating and I'm not going to say it has changed my life or had any significant impact. It just is very nice to sit still, let my thoughts get organised, feel the emotions, pay attention to my breath and then come out of it feeling a bit more calm. It feels nice to give my brain a break.

The main takeaway of my burnout reflections so far is this: we put a lot of value on cognitive skills, on being a smart cookie, on having brainpower, on being book smart. Yes, that's important but it does not make a life. It's like building a table with two legs; it migh stay standing but any little tremor and it won't stay up.

Here are MMM land, who are the people we love to hate? The ones who never look at their bank statement! They have no idea of what is happening to their money! They don't have any strategy to manage it! They close their eyes shut very hard, say they don't have any options and there is nothing they can do better, they are just doomed to fail.

I've been like that my whole life, with the emotional stuff. I just knew the situation was bad. But I didn't want to know how bad. Was it the equivalent of 10k in debt or was it more like 100k debt at 30% interest rates? Why face it when I had no idea how to address it? Why think about it when it got me so depressed? It seemed all trouble and very little reward.

I'm struggling big time to accept that I'm changing, that I will have a "new" personality. That the way I work will change. That I will ask for my needs to be met by the people whose needs I aim to fulfill. That I will meditate and talk about all that woo woo self-care stuff. That I will prioritise my wellbeing and say no other things (practical example is drinking alcohol; I enjoy going to the pub with my colleagues on a friday, I enjoy going out dancing with friends, but my enjoyable alcohol limit is 2 glasses which is very party-pooper and I will get much pushback on it).

A big part of who I am is to be very diplomatic, accomodating and passive. But some extent of that will change. My big burnout struggle is not so much deciding what needs to go, what needs to change, it's a lot to do with accepting who I am, accepting the limits, facing reality that I can't achieve everything I set my mind to.

This is awesome!  Your self reflection really worked and it looks like you are emerging.  Congratulations!!!

MoolahLula

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Re: How do you recover from burnout? ALL advice and compassion appreciated
« Reply #152 on: September 21, 2019, 03:58:50 AM »
Iím glad you have more energy and can do a few hours with friends, thatís great!

mm1970

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Re: How do you recover from burnout? ALL advice and compassion appreciated
« Reply #153 on: September 22, 2019, 04:00:40 PM »
We are slowly recovering. It is super hard on everyone when hubby travels. We are both exhausted. And on top of the dead car battery, turns out it was actually the starter. Then our fridge legit died yesterday. Ice cream melting when I woke up in the morning.

It has been an expensive month, but that is how MMM has helped. I booked two trips (thanksgiving in Sequoia and Hawaii for next summer, my 50th). We fixed the car. We bought a new fridge. Did not even blink.  It will take another few weeks though to really become normal.

I have offloaded, I think, the biggest crappy work project. A thankless job.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2019, 08:43:07 PM by mm1970 »