Hard to be motivated at work

[SlowMustachian]

I don't like my job but it pays much better than any other job I've seen in my area.  I moved to the south and got to keep my northeast salary.  I also get 12% into my 401k but it doesn't vest until ive been there 3 years. I have been working here for about 1.4 years, and have started to slack at my job and in my opinion not doing a good job (showing up late, procrastinating a lot). I also don't really like the culture of the company which makes it harder.  Do I stick it out even though it makes me depressed and it's a struggle to get work done? Or go for a lower paying job and lose the 401k? I'm also trying to get pregnant so could be a bad time to leave, I'm 37 years old and late getting a family started. If you think I should stay, any words of advice to keep myself motivated to do good work?

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

Some people are fine with working in a crappy place. They can compartmentalise. I can't do that. For me, things just get worse and worse until I have a crisis and leave. In the past I've put myself through the most monumental amount of stress trying to stay in a bad situation. It's simply no longer worth it to me to do that. I guess you have to truthfully assess whether or not you are a person able to get past it and stay, or whether you're just not. Know yourself, and act accordingly.

[JLee]

You get a 12% match into your 401k, or you're contributing 12%?  Is your vesting schedule all or nothing, or would you get 1/3 after a year, 2/3 after two years, etc?  How much money are you sacrificing if you quit now?  What are your FI plans and where are you with them?

[SlowMustachian]

They give us 9% outright in 401k and 3% match. It’s 0% vesting until 3 Years then 100%.  Right now I would lose $27k in 401k. I just started mustachianism last year and planned to do it in stages, going part time in a few years. We have to save about $500k more to reach goal net worth.

[jwright]

How are the health benefits at your job?  Do they offer paid maternity leave? 

How would the benefits compare at a new job?

[TexasRunner]

If you get pregnant, could you ride the FMLA 9 months (3 before, and 6 after) all the way (or almost) to the vesting point?

Mathematically, it makes sense to stay there- and it sounds like you are more interested in outside life than the job.  It is possible that would happen at any job.

Either way, suggestions from random internet strangers, so take it with a grain of salt.  :)  Good luck.

[Lady SA]

If you get pregnant, could you ride the FMLA 9 months (3 before, and 6 after) all the way (or almost) to the vesting point?

Mathematically, it makes sense to stay there- and it sounds like you are more interested in outside life than the job.  It is possible that would happen at any job.

Either way, suggestions from random internet strangers, so take it with a grain of salt.  :)  Good luck.

In the US, FMLA only gives you 12 weeks, or 3 months total leave, regardless of when you take it. Also, in most companies, this is unpaid, so you might be missing out on employer contributions during this period.

I would agree though, mathematically it makes sense to see if you can stick it out for another 1.5 years to get the full vesting, then I vote you bail right after the 3 year mark. Your job doesn't sound toxic, just boring and/or an imperfect cultural fit. Basically, you don't have to knock it out of the park every month, just do enough work to get by, knowing that no matter what, you are leaving in 1.5 years.

edit: of course, this advice could change depending on what benefits a comparable job in your area would pay. But it sounds like you are earning a killer salary that would be difficult to replicate, and a really great 401k match (if I'm understanding your 9% and 3% explanation correctly). Are you currently maxing your 401k? On top of any employer contributions, you can individually contribute up to $18500 per year. From what we know so far, I'd just be tempted to ride the gravy train as long as I can.

Also, you don't have to LOVE your job every day -- it just has to generally not suck and you should be relatively good at it. Making your passion into a job puts too much pressure on it to be enjoyable. I don't LOVE my job, but 90% of my days are good, and I'm good at it. I'm also looking to bail in about 2.5 years, so I'm not interested in being a superstar or doing the best possible work. I'm content doing a bit more than the bare minimum while still meeting my manager's expectations.

[SlowMustachian]

Thank you all! Even if you are internet strangers I sometimes feel like a lone mustachian in the office and no one to vent to.

Yes  it is paid mat leave, so if I do get pregnant then it will be less time in the office. I am not maxing 401k because I have all my savings in 401ks from last jobs and not enough in available funds, so just putting in enough to get matching.

And yes it’s not toxic, just boring.  Seems like I need to accept not loving my job which is new for me because I used to love it.  As long as I can stay sane and not lose it I’ll be ok.

[BigHaus89]

Try to develop some hobbies/activities outside of work that you enjoy and look forward to.

While at work, to stave off boredom, are you able to do personal/self-development activities? You could learn a language on DuoLingo, Take some classes on Coursera, meditate with Headspace, go for walks on your breaks, etc. These are some coping strategies I use when things are slow at my work.

[Slee_stack]

I think some people get fooled into thinking that they aren't 'doing it right' if they don't LOVE their job.

I wager the majority of folks don't love their job.

I also wager the ones that claim they love their job, don't really 'love' it 100%.

I'm sure there's a couple exceptions out there.


I do believe that a job should 'not suck'.  Beyond that though, if the reward (salary) is worth 'tolerating' it, then you are probably doing OK.

Its a job for a reason.....people aren't willing to do it for FREE.  Leaving for another job will not usually magically fix everything.  Something will be better, something will be worse.  Hopefully, there's a net improvement, but it might not be the Golden Land you expect.


If you have 'enough', leave.   If you find another job that truly provides you more 'value' (money, life balance, whatever), take it.

[couponvan]

You say you've been there 1.4 years already.  Look into the 401(k) rules (ask for the plan document) and see whether they calculate a year of service as 1,000 hours. Your required time could be shorter than a full 3 years if you worked 1,000 hours in the year you stated. (If you started in August, but worked some overtime you might have worked 1,000 hours in 2016 and be qualified for a full year of vesting for 2016). Most plans use 1,000 hours in a plan year for vesting in employer contributions (but not all plans do this). If that's true, you might only need to work until May or June of this year to have 3 years of vesting for 401(k) purposes.

That 12% is pretty sweet.

If you have timesheets you need to turn in, you could probably figure out whether you hit the 1,000 hours in the first year. Make very sure you document this before pulling the trigger on another job. Print out old time sheets/proof. Then if they don't vest you, you can file a complaint with the company or the DOL.

If you are miserable, I'd probably find another job and see if they'd give you a signing bonus equal to the amount of 401(k) matching contributions you would lose by not vesting.  If you are looking to get pregnant though remember you have to have been employed for a year before you are entitled to any FMLA, and if you switch jobs and the baby comes early that could be an issue as well.

Also, if you have a flexible spending account with work, make sure to take the full YEARs worth of expenses before you quit, not just the part you have paid in year to date.  They won't be able to come back to you for the missing piece.  :-) Call it a resigning bonus if you will. 

[fuzzy math]

Being pregnant at a new job without adequate paid leave is no fun. Suck it up for the time needed to vest, or at least until after you have a kid (if you're thinking you could stay home). I found everything less tolerable when I was trying to get pregnant - the wait to have a child is bad enough, adding in trying to fire sounds downright miserable haha. I agree you may feel this way in other jobs.

[jax8]

Paid maternity leave?  9% put into your 401K up front, then a 3% match on whatever you put in?  GIRL PLEASE.  Stay and hit your 3 year vestment.

You sound like an overachiever, and it's hard for overachievers to hit a good job and relax in it.  After 30 years of pushing yourself through school, college, internships and climbing the career ranks--feeling like you're not challenged can feel like you're in a dead end job and stagnating.

I'm going to flip it around and show you that your boring job is actually the best place to stay to focus on starting a family:

1. Bored now?  GREAT!  Being pregnant makes most women sick and exhausted.  You want a job that you can do with your eyes closed because, sometimes?  You'll be sitting at your desk with your eyes closed trying not to be sick.  (Imagine trying to impress a new boss when you're dizzy, nauseous, and just want to go lay down anywhere...even the floor right here...because you're so miserable.  Or, trying to work through a 90 day probationary period like that.)

2. "But I'm already slacking and coming in late..."  No company wants to go through the legal hassle of firing a pregnant coworker.  As long as you're putting 70% effort in and getting your job done, you aren't going to be fired.  Most coworkers/bosses are going to be understanding and not expect 100% from you anyway (although not all--occassionally you run across some hardcore drones who think everyone should live 100% for work).  <---ETA, I'm also willing to bet that YOU think you are slacking but literally no one else in your company thinks that about you.

3. PAID MATERNITY LEAVE.  This is so ridiculously rare in America.  I'm jealous.

4. While you're on maternity leave, you aren't going to be worried that Slimy Steve is vying for your position.  You don't actually *care* about your position, so you're not all that worried about it.  If you lose it, you'll be happy to go out and find something better!  You can relax and recover and 100% focus on your family!  (Also, by law, your company has to hold a position open for you *at or above* the level you left at.  Maybe, just maybe, you'll come back to a delightful lateral move!)

5. When you come back to work, you're going to want a job you can do with your eyes closed.  You're going to be exhausted and way more interested in what's going on at home with the baby than what's going on at work.   

You have the rest of your working career to find a more exciting job.  If you're planning to start a family, this boring established job is the absolutely BEST job you could have for it!

[tweezers]

Everything jax8 said.  I recite the following phrase as necessary: "Don't get mad, just get paid"

[Slow&Steady]

I agree that you should stay until you are vested!

I also agree with pretty much everything Jax8 said and pregnant in your later 30s really is flat out exhausting. 

However, I will tell you that I did switched jobs at around 32 weeks pregnant (4 weeks ago) and I am very happy with my choice.  I gave up a paid maternity leave, being able to do my job with my eyes closed, and nobody really caring about when I came or left. I also gave up a very toxic environment for a huge step up in my career (and pay).  The new job gave me the choice to start after maternity leave but the old job was toxic enough that it wasn't worth it.  I even did the math to figure out how many dollars I would be leaving on the table by giving up maternity leave, turns out with the increase in pay at the new job it was only around $2000 over the course of the year.  My sanity and leaving the toxic environment was work $2000. 

I can promise you that I would not have left $27k on the table.

[JLee]

I agree that you should stay until you are vested!

I also agree with pretty much everything Jax8 said and pregnant in your later 30s really is flat out exhausting. 

However, I will tell you that I did switched jobs at around 32 weeks pregnant (4 weeks ago) and I am very happy with my choice.  I gave up a paid maternity leave, being able to do my job with my eyes closed, and nobody really caring about when I came or left. I also gave up a very toxic environment for a huge step up in my career (and pay).  The new job gave me the choice to start after maternity leave but the old job was toxic enough that it wasn't worth it.  I even did the math to figure out how many dollars I would be leaving on the table by giving up maternity leave, turns out with the increase in pay at the new job it was only around $2000 over the course of the year.  My sanity and leaving the toxic environment was work $2000. 

I can promise you that I would not have left $27k on the table.

It's more than that, too -- keeping a HCOL salary while moving to a LCOL area isn't all that common, so seeing a $30-50k/yr loss in income wouldn't shock me all that much.

[Gronnie]

I have an amazing job with autonomy, work life balance, good pay and benefits, etc... I still hate it! The grass definitely isn't greener very often (at least not until FIRE!)

[pbkmaine]

Could you explore other options at your workplace? DH had a very boring job, but was able to volunteer for IT-related committees and projects, a field that interested him. He was eventually able to transfer into IT full time. I was usually able to trade off some tasks I disliked and others liked for tasks I liked and others didn’t.

[BuildingmyFIRE]

If the worst complaint is that your job is boring, please, please stick it out for a few more years.  If your ultimate goal is to get FIRE'd, and it sounds like this job will help get you there, then stay the course, particularly if you'll soon be starting a family.  There is no guarantee that the next place you jump to will be better -- it may actually worse.  After having worked at two hellish offices, I'm content to work in a ho hum environment.  Sometimes the grass is green enough.