Hair on fire debt emergency: how to give advice

[SimpleCycle]

Hi everyone, I'm feeling a bit out of my depth here.  My sister has come to me with help getting out of debt, and I'm not sure how to advise her.  In broad strokes:

-she lives abroad with her long term partner.  He is a small business owner and she is a doula and also helps with the business.  The business is just keeping its head above water and she has very little income of her own.  They have quasi-combined finances, but in general, I have no idea how their cash flow works and I don't think they do either.
-she has $40k in student loans (about half on IBR with a zero payment, and half private loans in repayment) and $21k in credit card debt
-$8300 of the credit card debt has been charged off and they are offering her a debt settlement of half if she pays within a year, otherwise it will go to collections
-the rest of the credit card debt is on zero interest five year payoff plans, but she must make the minimums to stay in good standing with that plan
-she's upside down on a car back in the states, owes around $4k and it's worth $1k or so
-they are not currently adding to the debt, but they are not getting ahead of it either.   I strongly suspect they don't even have the capacity to make minimums consistently over the next year, let along pay off more.
-she is only marginally employable in her current country.  She's a former kindergarten teacher, but doesn't have the right combo of classwork and experience to get credentialed in her current country.
-she has two kids who go to school 7-1:30.  She could do some paid work during that time if she could find something that she could do from where she is.
-they're both American citizens so authorized to work here in the States
-they're both spendypants by nature, so I suspect there is room to trim by Mustachian standards, but I think sis won't be able to see that unless I make a compelling case

I fully realize this is not my problem to solve, but I'd appreciate some advice on how to approach her options with her.  I'm not even totally sure what her options are.  Cut expenses, increase income, or declare bankruptcy?  I feel like I'm too close to this to be objective.

[mozar]

What is it that she asked for help with and how has she taken advice in the past? Maybe show her how much she will end up paying in ten years? Or a spreadsheet with everything together? It seems that people who get into  this situation are people who reject help before things get out of hand. If she goes bankrupt she'll end up in debt again unless she changes her habits. Also I don't think you can discharge student loans in bankruptcy.

[SimpleCycle]

What is it that she asked for help with and how has she taken advice in the past? Maybe show her how much she will end up paying in ten years? Or a spreadsheet with everything together? It seems that people who get into  this situation are people who reject help before things get out of hand. If she goes bankrupt she'll end up in debt again unless she changes her habits. Also I don't think you can discharge student loans in bankruptcy.

She's sought out advice in the past and she actually seems really interested, but then the behavior doesn't follow.  She asked for my help specifically in determining a) if she should take the debt settlement, b) if she should consider bankruptcy and c) a payoff plan.  So fairly concrete things that I can help with, but like you said, it's hard to see how this doesn't just happen again until there's overall change.

[SimpleCycle]

Oh, and we both know the student debt it non-dischargeable.  It would just be to get out from under the credit card debt.