Graduation Gift Questions

[newbie]

Hello - It is graduation season and this year my son is graduating from high school.  We have lived in the same house his whole life and he has attended school with many of the same kids since Kindergarten.  He has also played sports with the same group of boys, most of whom we really love and feel have been good influences on each other. 
Questions:

1.  What is a good amount for graduation gifts?  We have received 8 graduation party invites and/or announcements so far, all from kids and families that we would like to celebrate.  Thinking $50 for the really close friends, $25 for the less close? 

2.  We are sending out announcements to his and our friends.  I don't want people to feel obligated to send a gift, I just am proud and want to let people know he is graduating and what his future plans are.  Do you feel obligated to send a gift when you get an announcement? 

Thanks in advance

[englishteacheralex]

We give $50 to family, $25 to friends.

[Freedomin5]

I’d give a book. Either “Your Money or Your Life” or “Designing Your Life”. Probably Designing Your Life since the Stanford course on which the book is based was originally designed for incoming freshmen at Stanford.

For close family, I’d probably add a bit of money.

If I got an announcement I would not feel obligated to send a gift. If I got an invitation to a graduation celebration, I’d bring a gift unless the invite explicitly said “no gifts”. Then I’d probably bring money unless it said “just your presence is enough”.

[K_in_the_kitchen]

When we went though several high school graduation seasons we gave $50 - $100 cash depending on how many were graduating that year, lol!  This was all close friends or family, and cash was easiest for me.  Our own kids received various gifts mostly in the $20 range.

When we got a rash of college graduations last year, everyone got a $25 gift card mailed to them.  The kids hadn't really stayed that close, and we weren't attending in person graduations or parties.

[uniwelder]

I don’t have kids, but when I graduated 25 years ago, I think I just remember grandparents giving cash gifts. Certainly nothing between family friends.

[Runrooster]

Apropos to this, my SIL had a text meltdown because “no one” flew 2 hours or drove 4.5 hours and stayed in a hotel overnight to attend her daughter’s college graduation. Apparently this is proof that we don’t love my brother. FWIW they spent $300k on her college, more than most weddings. One sister did attend. Grandparents are 84 and 89 and didn’t even attend the last out of town wedding. A 2 minute walk across the stage seen in a football arena?  Who cares?  I didn’t subject my parents to my graduation from a fancier college. Same SIL and family didn’t attend my graduation either.

I am definitely the wrong person to ask, as I’ve stopped attending even weddings. I find them boring, too large to have conversations, and basically offensive in the “permission to have sex” tradition. Life commitment is a hope.

In general I’d say that if you want to invite 50 people to commemorate a milestone, go for it. Don’t expect presents to do so.  I wouldn’t say college or even high school is the easiest phase of life, but I did get tired of attending every piano recital, 6th grade graduation, sports meet. Especially considering that said niece missed my birthdays for 14 years due to her sports schedule.

[MaybeBabyMustache]

For close family members/relatives, we do $100+. We do $50 for pretty much everyone else.

[Timeforfocus]

We do $50 for family and checks for $20.23 (or whatever the current grad year is) to the random friend grad parties.