I've been told I'm frugal by every girlfriend as instead of restaurant dinners or bars, I plan hiking dates, cooking, massages, reflective listening, write origami letters as gifts, teaching/learning from each other, that type of thing. I rarely ate out in the west but here it seems more cost effective due to economy of scale when you find the right vendors.
@remizidaeI tend to date women who are lower-income than me but frugal by US standards.
The rent idea came into play when moving in together. I make more than her so it made sense at the time. I only had an extra room for 1 month. Also, rooms here cost $100-300 before utilities.
Pc people-skip this post, all of it.
@HirondelleThanks for actually reading all the way through. She is. Your post lumps most of humanity into one cateogry of Asian but one peculiarity I have noticed is that white men tend to pay for Thai girls and Thai girls tend to pay for Thai men. I've seen this in multiple relationships and even the concept of little husband (pays/is second), big husband (lazes/is first), little wife (second), big wife (first/often mother) exist here. I've seen many Thai girls swear off Thai men for the reasons of lower levels of infidelity and "taking better care".
@chasesfishI've never dated a woman who owned a fancy car, consistently died hair color, or fancy handbags. Most use make up but I never actually noticed how long make up takes until living together
@Mini-MerDifferent culture. I never experienced this in the west and I live in an Asian country that has never been colonized. I don't understand the language beyond functional conversation yet, even the alphabet isn't used here. The norms here are different and I'm still adapting to them but a simple no when a boundary gets pushed will save a huge amount of headache later. My first long term relationship here so I'm learning a lot. I hear it's a bit different in coutnries that were previously colonized and English is more prevalent there.
@CNMI misphrased that and I appreciate your clarification. Looks aren't all that's important. There's some overlap in our interests and I have a lot of fun with her most of the time. I've let go of more physically attractive partneres because their personality was more dull and there was next to no common interests.
@2Birds1StoneI see it all the time. It's prevalent in USA with 10% of kids having a different father than they expect, it just happens under the context of deception in the Protestant model. The Muslim and Mormon model seem to integrate the concept. I admire bonobos as they make huge amounts of love and have no documented case of war or murder.
@J BoogieI've had this experience before but it was a decade ago and I wasn't of age yet to live with someone independently. I'm not sure how to see who invests tons of money into appearance as people like to be good at hiding this, make it look effortless.
Her family talks about how much she's calmed down since meeting me so I feel I've helped her heal and love more deeply.
@patchyfacialhairI think so too. But she can be sweet enough to give diabetes at times. If it was only looks, I'd have been bored within a week. No drugs, thankfully.
I'm actually feeling stagnant here. I'm feeling excited when I think about moving to a city with more nature within walking distance to hike often, more English speakers to better converse and have deeper conversation, more varied groups of people.
@tralfamadorianShe has her own job.
@letiredI'm okay paying a few bucks for delicious street food for the first date or 2. I plan on saying "For next time, do you like to split the tab or take turns paying on dates?"
Conveys the message clearly and warmly.
@NewPerspectiveThere's no right or wrong way to do things. You won't get judgement from me and your input helps me better understand a common perspective in humanity. While many responses here are thoughtful and offer very good advice to shift my paradigm, it's unfortunate that there's a few responses from people who don't consider that the context is likely different than the image painted in their heads.
I think culture plays into it a huge amount but I've never had a girlfriend complain about me paying or insist on paying herself. I've dated women from 5 continents so it seems relatively common. This is simply the first one that became insistent upon me covering her every caloric desire and that became a boundary I felt important to define.
