I knew the first iteration was rough but that was wisdom from the first series of posts. Seeing how she behaves/ simply asking to split next time feels better. I'm not adamant on 50-50, feeling that she contributes meaningfully is most important. Even in having spent most of the money, some girlfriends I felt were doing their best to contribute and it felt enough. "Let's split this" feels more concise and portrays the same concept with less awkwardness. I get this time and you get next time feels simple and workable. The first few posts talking about simply each covering our own expenses is dream-like to me with a high quality partner. It's alien to me in practice so integrating it into my life takes some refinement.
Actions > Words
I've also had the experience of someone professing to counter or be aligned with my beliefs and then act opposite what they said.
I let go of more physically attractive girls for this one since I didn't feel a spark with others as much. I've also had radically honest girlfriends which I massively appreciate, all have been open to nature, cooking together, bubbly/sweet, spirituality or science, family. Looks isn't enough for a relationship. Without a connection, dating gets boring very fast.
I've let many shitty people out of my life but setting up a conscious pattern of behavior so they self-select out is a new concept to me.
I offered her some of the yogurt but she wanted cookies and chocolates instead, no need for personal attacks, plenty of warm and wise responses here show that others see the complexity of relationships.
The tantrums are a huge red flag. Manipulative and childish. Don't move in so fast next time, it was rushed and an attempt to get to know her better. I'm likely moving soon so that will help.
This is a thread for me to understand better how to handle the financial piece of a relationship. I want a lot more than that but writing my entire view on what I want from a relationship would make this confusing. We're limited to the medium of a thread where I'm asking a specific question and I wanted to cover this specific piece of a relationship. More specifically: I want someone emotionally stable, sweet, intelligent, lightly active/into nature, into science, sober, into travel, who values family, is honest, attractive to me, who I can share long deep conversations where I truly understand them and feel understood/heard, who loves people, is comfortable in relationship, and can fully accept/give love. Dealbreakers are drug abuse, hurts animals/people, now screams out of anger/tantrums for things, heavy debt is okay if they're actively tackling it, seeking husband/kids too early, is disrespectful or violent, emotionally unstable.