There are also many other services she wants professionals for to save stress and my time.
I haven't seen anyone else address a different facet of the 'my time' issue (aside from the DIY and project angle) but I'm wondering: three years of breakneck pace with DIY to save money, buy-and-sell to save money/reduce debt, schooling, etc, would put a strain on anyone. How much time have you guys actually spent as a couple, just focusing on each other, in the last three years? When was the last time you guys just took a break from life?
You've made it clear in your other posts that the communication is improving and she's opening up a bit about her frustrations and concerns, which is great. I'm just saying there might be another side to her concerns about trying to save your time and effort -- it might be so
she can get a little more non-DIY time with you.
Example: my DH went out the labour day weekend to shoot a bear with some buddies; this is not recreational, it's to make sausage, so it's for the family meat supply. He didn't get it, and he's been out hunting almost every day since in an attempt to get it. I'm getting annoyed to the point where if I see a bear, I'm going to shoot the damn thing myself, because myself and his 2-yr old son almost never get to see him for any length of time anymore. 15 minutes in the evening before bed doesn't cut it. And I don't appreciate being left will all the jobs that need to be done, every day. (And the season's over Nov 30, so I know this isn't for much longer, but it's still annoying.)
Imagine your wife thinking 'It's been three years, school's finally done, we're doing well financially, now we can relax a bit' but finding out the hard way you don't see it the same way. It's not hard to see why she'd like you to slow down a bit.
Unless she married you solely for your DIY skills and knowing she'd only get your attention for limited times during the day, I would gently suggest perhaps considering some activities with her in mind....something that she can fully take part in and doesn't need to be taught, unless it's something
she suggests. I'm not suggesting you stop what you obviously love to do, but you might need to find a work/life balance and spread your time around a little more, keeping her in mind. It sounds like you enjoy the DIY/buy-sell so much that it's a way of life for you, but because you've been using it to help your financial situation, she may not realize just how important it is to you, and she thinks it's just a way to bring in more money, so now that it's not essential, it doesn't need to be done anymore.
Just a thought, having been in her situation..... ;)