This is why I love this community. Most of the people in the 3D world would think I am crazy, yet on here there is a lot of defense for taking it into my own hands.
So here is my path forward that I think will be the easiest for me:
Step 1: ask to lower the fee
Step 2: I am planning on buying a house late this year/early next year. I have been investing with her to save for my down payment. When I buy the house I will withdraw all of my funds outside of my IRA to purchase. Whatever I have left from the down payment I will put into my own investments and contribute to that monthly instead of her. I will leave my IRA with her because the total fees will not be that high, while most of my wealth can be in a lower cost option.
Step 3: go back to normal and set and forget my investments because over the long run that is my plan anyways.
@JRA64: I really like your suggestions, I think I will take this into my own plan listed above. I don't think it is about having a small portfolio because my entire family has money invested with her. I am realizing that this fee structure is ridiculous.
@MsSindy: I think as long as I keep the money that I want for immediate use (6-12 months) in a safer account (CapitalOne has 1.75% interest) I will be able to keep investments on autopilot. Obviously I cannot predict my emotions with a market correction, but I can have a plan in place for when it happens. I will see how they react to me challenging the rate, that should be really telling.
@mjr: I have looked at the prospectus for each of the funds I am in and because the shares are institutional the fees are really low. So it is more than 1.5% but not by much.
@erutio: This is actually something that I was hearing about in a podcast. It was about negotiation and how often times it is easier to bring along someone without emotional attachment to the deal (example, buying a car). I think you may have stumbled onto a gem of an idea, emotions are weird especially when you are first hand involved.
@bisimpson: I would expect this to be a similar response. I imagine that I am a drop in the bucket for them compared to larger clients.
@Patrick584: I am starting to view financial planners as the same type of person as a car sales man. Because in the long run they really are salesman/women. Thank you for sharing your story, I am in a similar situation (not inheritance but that is where I put my IRA). During our last conversation I did ask about tax loss harvesting and she said it would be really difficult to do with my account. I still don't understand why it would be difficult to do this. You have opened my eyes too, I have control of my finances everywhere else (budgeting, taxes, etc) why couldn't I add this in as well.
@bogart: I can see that situation for getting a CFP to be very valuable. Also with outsourcing other services too, sometimes it makes sense for your situation. I think that FPs can also help with estate planning which could be very beneficial.
@ysette9: I agree, when I first looked I thought "1.5% thats not too bad" but after looking into some of the examples you have provided you are correct and I need an alternative option.
@Car Jack: You definitely have a good point. I am an engineer and have always thought very logically. I asked this question to find examples of people who are doing it differently than I currently am to try and get the emotions of being scared out of it. I find my emotions are only illogical when I do not have all of the facts.