Author Topic: Frugality and OCPD..  (Read 2185 times)

jnw

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Frugality and OCPD..
« on: May 29, 2023, 12:59:02 PM »
My nephew's wife told her aunt about how I was good at saving money and that I am doing a very low discretionary spend challenge for a year -- which I agree is uncommon.  And immediately her aunt suggested I might have some sort of mental illness, LOL. I didn't know that was a thing. I looked it up and the closest thing I could find was OCPD.

Money hoarding is often mentioned in OCPD youtube videos with words like the following quote:
"Adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes."

The vast majority of Americans live paycheck to paycheck yet the rest of the world usually saves about half their income each month.  In case they don't know, the "hoarding" is called "saving" and it's called an emergency fund / retirement savings.  >.>

I find it interesting that people jump to conclusions thinking a person might be mentally ill for trying to get out of debt and save an emergency fund along with retirement.  They love their spend-thriftiness, so much they are offended by the idea of actually saving a lot of money each month, and so they diss others to make themselves feel better / normal.

[I had given my nephew and his wife a lot of SOLID advice how to be frugal, budget, track spending etc. which has already helped them quite a bit; it frustrates me her aunt would suggest that to her about me, potentially sabotaging the advice I had given them. Any financial advisor would, with their given financial situation, also tell them to limit discretionary spending. I was only mentioning my challenge to try and encourage them to not spend so much;  they were blowing money every day (and all day) on fast food -- instead of cooking at home --, 90 days late on credit card payments, etc..]

So how many of us have OCPD here?  I've never been diagnosed with mental issues. I'm over 50.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2023, 01:12:25 PM by jnw »

jnw

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2023, 02:06:19 PM »
Anyone else find this woman annoying? lol.  Timestamped youtube video link follows:
https://youtu.be/fEIXmjdnSms?t=898

« Last Edit: May 29, 2023, 02:16:45 PM by jnw »

Runrooster

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2023, 02:41:59 PM »
This is interesting to me.  My older sister and her daughter were just visiting, and I was telling the extreme frugality stories about my sister from my youth.  But it continued to these awful family Xmas vacations, and on and on.  This is a woman who now earns a million a year, admits she has more money than she will ever spend.  I've caught her not tipping the taxi driver or restaurants. This weekend she agreed to cover ONE meal - other family members went all out in shopping, planning, cooking their offerings.  She went to Whole Foods to pick up her favorite cake and flowers to take to SIL house for dinner, promised to pick up something for lunch.  I cooked up some appetizers and asked only that she not pick up pizza (we could make some frozen), sandwich/ hoagie/ sub was fine.  She complained my apps were "processed food", whatever that means in her head, didn't find anything she was willing to purchase at Whole Foods (cue: too expensive), and came home with 5 guys burgers. Because that's not processed.  Even her daughter was surprised she didn't buy fries with that, just took a huge bag of the free peanuts.  Oh, and she was too cheap to buy burgers for everyone, half the folks got one.

I've never had another name for my sister, but the rigidity and rules and stinginess with everyone fits. 

I'm not sure why Dr. Ramani annoys you Jennifer.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2023, 02:45:16 PM by Runrooster »

jnw

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2023, 03:32:59 PM »
This is interesting to me.  My older sister and her daughter were just visiting, and I was telling the extreme frugality stories about my sister from my youth.  But it continued to these awful family Xmas vacations, and on and on.  This is a woman who now earns a million a year, admits she has more money than she will ever spend.  I've caught her not tipping the taxi driver or restaurants. This weekend she agreed to cover ONE meal - other family members went all out in shopping, planning, cooking their offerings.  She went to Whole Foods to pick up her favorite cake and flowers to take to SIL house for dinner, promised to pick up something for lunch.  I cooked up some appetizers and asked only that she not pick up pizza (we could make some frozen), sandwich/ hoagie/ sub was fine.  She complained my apps were "processed food", whatever that means in her head, didn't find anything she was willing to purchase at Whole Foods (cue: too expensive), and came home with 5 guys burgers. Because that's not processed.  Even her daughter was surprised she didn't buy fries with that, just took a huge bag of the free peanuts.  Oh, and she was too cheap to buy burgers for everyone, half the folks got one.

I've never had another name for my sister, but the rigidity and rules and stinginess with everyone fits. 

I'm not sure why Dr. Ramani annoys you Jennifer.
Interesting story, thanks for sharing.  I would of tipped and bought everyone food. 

Well one thing that annoyed me about Dr. Ramani is that she often laughed when describing various characteristics her patients illness, as if it was funny. Also I didn't like her criticizing someone about what they wear or the cookware they use -- seems materialistic to me. I think shoes from 1984 is cool -- but I don't know how they made them last so long (mine are worn out after 2 years).  She calls people miserly and hoarders when I think saving for the future is actually an honorable thing, as most Americans live paycheck to paycheck with no emergency fund and no retirement.  She demands people must go on vacations or take people out to dinner, or there is something wrong with them.  She seems like a spendthrift to me to be honest lol.

I just did a personality disorder test online from the following url, and here are my results. It doesn't look like I have OCPD.  I didn't realize I was such a narcissist though lol; I don't like my physical appearance at all but do like the approval of others in other things. Hrm going to have to take another test, dunno if this was a fluke :)

Not going to lie though, I often feel like the way I do some things is superior to the way many others do things, like tracking finances. -- but I'm always open to learn a better way and improve my system. I like to be in control with my personal finance categories & transactions, reconciling the bank with MY records and not the other way around.  So maybe I am slightly narcissistic and OCPD: I have my rules, and am sometimes very detailed and tedious about them; and I'm also a "meiser" I guess lol. Shrug.  But honestly I am just trying to get out of debt (mortage) and save a large emergency fund ($50k) and save as much as I can for retirement.. got off to a late start.

https://similarminds.com/personality_disorder.html

« Last Edit: May 29, 2023, 03:46:53 PM by jnw »

Freedomin5

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2023, 03:44:32 PM »
Geez…people need to read up on their DSM-5. It’s only considered a disorder if it has a significant negative impact on your life. You can’t call it a disorder if the impact is positive.

So if you’re frugal and save a bunch of money, but you have a happy career or are happily retired, have friends, do the things you love, and can care for yourself independently, your quirks don’t qualify as a disorder.

If you’re frugal and save a bunch of money, but you live in a hovel because you can’t bear to spend anything and you’ve alienated all your friends with your stinginess, and you work so much that you’ve destroyed all your family relationships, then you’re moving into disorder territory.

jnw

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2023, 03:55:38 PM »
Geez…people need to read up on their DSM-5. It’s only considered a disorder if it has a significant negative impact on your life. You can’t call it a disorder if the impact is positive.

So if you’re frugal and save a bunch of money, but you have a happy career or are happily retired, have friends, do the things you love, and can care for yourself independently, your quirks don’t qualify as a disorder.

If you’re frugal and save a bunch of money, but you live in a hovel because you can’t bear to spend anything and you’ve alienated all your friends with your stinginess, and you work so much that you’ve destroyed all your family relationships, then you’re moving into disorder territory.

Thanks I didn't think about it that way. I only thought of it in a negative light.  Our home and health are in good shape and have friends.  Money doesn't really come up often b/c it's usually just us visiting each other in our homes; Also occasionally enjoy entertaining small groups of friends cooking food here at home for them.  Not working as I am disabled. I guess I'm doing okay :)

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2023, 04:01:13 PM »
Geez…people need to read up on their DSM-5. It’s only considered a disorder if it has a significant negative impact on your life. You can’t call it a disorder if the impact is positive.

So if you’re frugal and save a bunch of money, but you have a happy career or are happily retired, have friends, do the things you love, and can care for yourself independently, your quirks don’t qualify as a disorder.

If you’re frugal and save a bunch of money, but you live in a hovel because you can’t bear to spend anything and you’ve alienated all your friends with your stinginess, and you work so much that you’ve destroyed all your family relationships, then you’re moving into disorder territory.

+1

I'd like to add that you can see just about any disorder in someone's behavior if you are looking for it, especially if the behavior is the least bit unconventional. 

Freedomin5

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2023, 04:27:38 PM »
Yup, so next time someone says you have a mental disorder, just calmly say, “Oh, let’s look up the diagnostic criteria.” Oh look, one of the criteria is, and I quote (directly from the DSM-5), “The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.” Huh, I’m functioning pretty well as a FIRE-ee. Guess I don’t meet criteria for the disorder then.

And in case they don’t know what the DSM-5 is because they’re not actually a licensed mental health professional, it’s the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition, which is literally the diagnostic Bible for mental health professionals.

jnw

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2023, 07:30:48 AM »
I get a little rush of joy when I can see an empty de-cluttered space. Im sooo sick apparently :).
Sounds very healthy to me :)  I wish I could get rid of a lot of stuff.  At least I am not buying anymore useless stuff, so that's a  start at least.

ixtap

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2023, 09:43:21 AM »
DH does have executive function issues and tends toward obsessiveness and compulsiveness. Minimalism helps to avoid some of the triggers. A life time of frugality means that it just doesn't matter that he can't function as well at his career as he could a few years ago.

His father tends toward miserly, and many of the family members are hoarders, so I have concerns, but for now I would say these traits are treatment for his mental health issues, not symptoms.

bacchi

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2023, 10:13:48 AM »
Anyone else find this woman annoying? lol.  Timestamped youtube video link follows:
https://youtu.be/fEIXmjdnSms?t=898

OMG!! Someone's wearing out-of-style shoes!

It's difficult to call someone miserly unless you see the totality of their life. When what you value isn't obvious to others, and it's unconventional, then you're a miser rather than frugal.

Most of us here are "spending" on our future selves. While I may wear old shoes, because I don't GAF about shoes (except for sport shoes), I am not miserly about FIRE.

Zikoris

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2023, 08:53:06 AM »
I actually did have pretty intense OCD as a teenager, but cleared it up through an experimental treatment at the local university as soon as I was an adult and could do things like that on my own (my parents were pretty neglectful so I just have to suffer until then, unfortunately). so being intimately familiar with both frugality and what OCD feels like, I can say that for me the two are not connected at all.

I think the important thing to think about is whether frugality causes you stress, anxiety, or suffering. That would be a sign it was maybe a symptom of something bigger like a mental disorder. If you just, say, have everything financial automated and don't think about it, it's hard to see how that could be an indication of anything gone wrong.

Morning Glory

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #12 on: June 05, 2023, 09:59:17 AM »
Anyone else find this woman annoying? lol.  Timestamped youtube video link follows:
https://youtu.be/fEIXmjdnSms?t=898

OMG!! Someone's wearing out-of-style shoes!

It's difficult to call someone miserly unless you see the totality of their life. When what you value isn't obvious to others, and it's unconventional, then you're a miser rather than frugal.

Most of us here are "spending" on our future selves. While I may wear old shoes, because I don't GAF about shoes (except for sport shoes), I am not miserly about FIRE.

It's common for autistic folks to have one style of shoe or clothing that is comfortable for them, and also to be misdiagnosed with personality disorders or OCD. Frugality, investing, travel hacking etc. can also be special interests.

JupiterGreen

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #13 on: June 05, 2023, 11:14:22 AM »
It can definitely be used as a tool for self-harm. Other people on this thread have explained it well. Being outside the norm with how you live is one thing, but if it really negatively impacts your life and roves into the place of harm for you and/or others, it's worth considering making changes.

GuitarStv

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #14 on: June 05, 2023, 11:18:00 AM »
I obsess about a lot of things, but money ain't one of them.  That's the whole point to developing a large 'stache . . . so you don't have to care about it any more and can focus on the stuff you want to focus on.

wenchsenior

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #15 on: June 05, 2023, 11:26:17 AM »
My nephew's wife told her aunt about how I was good at saving money and that I am doing a very low discretionary spend challenge for a year -- which I agree is uncommon.  And immediately her aunt suggested I might have some sort of mental illness, LOL. I didn't know that was a thing. I looked it up and the closest thing I could find was OCPD.

Money hoarding is often mentioned in OCPD youtube videos with words like the following quote:
"Adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes."

The vast majority of Americans live paycheck to paycheck yet the rest of the world usually saves about half their income each month.  In case they don't know, the "hoarding" is called "saving" and it's called an emergency fund / retirement savings.  >.>

I find it interesting that people jump to conclusions thinking a person might be mentally ill for trying to get out of debt and save an emergency fund along with retirement.  They love their spend-thriftiness, so much they are offended by the idea of actually saving a lot of money each month, and so they diss others to make themselves feel better / normal.

[I had given my nephew and his wife a lot of SOLID advice how to be frugal, budget, track spending etc. which has already helped them quite a bit; it frustrates me her aunt would suggest that to her about me, potentially sabotaging the advice I had given them. Any financial advisor would, with their given financial situation, also tell them to limit discretionary spending. I was only mentioning my challenge to try and encourage them to not spend so much;  they were blowing money every day (and all day) on fast food -- instead of cooking at home --, 90 days late on credit card payments, etc..]

So how many of us have OCPD here?  I've never been diagnosed with mental issues. I'm over 50.

I just want to clarify. OCPD is not the same disorder as OCD (which is the more popularly understood disorder, involving repetition, counting, etc.)

Which are you actually talking about?

Laura33

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #16 on: June 05, 2023, 11:42:33 AM »
Well, certainly frugality can be a symptom of some type of mental illness; refusing to spend could be a way anxiety manifests itself, and all of the spreadsheets/tracking/projections/research could be a way for someone with OCD to feel like they are in control.

But just because some mentally ill people are frugal doesn't mean all frugal people are mentally ill.  Duh.  It's not a problem unless it hurts you or those around you. 

My mom definitely takes it to the extreme; she has way more money than she ever needs and yet still cannot bring herself to spend it on stuff that she wants, most likely due to lifelong anxiety.  But at least she's good-natured and not selfish about it; that sister who is willing to withhold from people who have less than her is a piece of work and can probably use a little help.  But in any event, that kind of level of extreme is pretty rare and has nothing whatsoever to do with the kind of frugality people practice here.

IMO, the aunt probably felt criticized, because where do you think her son learned his bad money habits from?  So she did what insecure people do and struck back against the messenger.  Whatever.  The good news is it's not your problem.  Nephew is a grown-ass adult; you've given good advice, and now he can decide what to do with it. 

Cassie

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #17 on: June 05, 2023, 07:19:51 PM »
I was born in the 50’s when being frugal and thrifty was a way of life for most people I know. Saving for the future is smart. Things have definitely changed for the worse in regard to many people’s views of finance.

jnw

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #18 on: June 05, 2023, 07:48:15 PM »
I obsess about a lot of things, but money ain't one of them.  That's the whole point to developing a large 'stache . . . so you don't have to care about it any more and can focus on the stuff you want to focus on.

Were you obsessed with money the first couple years of working towards FIRE?  I have been working on saving as much as possible the past 16 months or so.  I can say it has consumed a lot of my thought, but I am still working out my frugality etc.  It has paid off as I am now saving up to 67% of my monthly net income -- whereas before I used to be very wasteful spending most all of my money each month, living paycheck to paycheck.  I have relatively low income -- SSDI income.

But I am very content, not deprived. I'm happy and my BF seems to be happy as well.  It gives me a lot of happiness to know that in 20 months I'll have this home paid off and $50k emergency fund saved up.  Then I'll be ready for investing almost 100% of my monthly income into VTI.

GuitarStv

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #19 on: June 05, 2023, 08:00:24 PM »
I obsess about a lot of things, but money ain't one of them.  That's the whole point to developing a large 'stache . . . so you don't have to care about it any more and can focus on the stuff you want to focus on.

Were you obsessed with money the first couple years of working towards FIRE?  I have been working on saving as much as possible the past 16 months or so.  I can say it has consumed a lot of my thought, but I am still working out my frugality etc.  It has paid off as I am now saving up to 67% of my monthly net income -- whereas before I used to be very wasteful spending most all of my money each month, living paycheck to paycheck.  I have relatively low income -- SSDI income.

But I am very content, not deprived. I'm happy and my BF seems to be happy as well.  It gives me a lot of happiness to know that in 20 months I'll have this home paid off and $50k emergency fund saved up.  Then I'll be ready for investing almost 100% of my monthly income into VTI.

Honestly, I've always tended to just put everything on automatic and forget about it.  My default is usually more on the cheap than spendy side anyway, so no real hardships.  When I started my first real engineering job (pre-reading mmm!) I just figured out an asset allocation that made sense and set up automatic withdrawals, then continued to live the same way I had in university.  At the time the idea was to build up a large safety net in case things went south, although later on reading about early retirement I changed goals.

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #20 on: June 06, 2023, 05:32:57 AM »
I obsess about a lot of things, but money ain't one of them.  That's the whole point to developing a large 'stache . . . so you don't have to care about it any more and can focus on the stuff you want to focus on.

Were you obsessed with money the first couple years of working towards FIRE?  I have been working on saving as much as possible the past 16 months or so.  I can say it has consumed a lot of my thought, but I am still working out my frugality etc.  It has paid off as I am now saving up to 67% of my monthly net income -- whereas before I used to be very wasteful spending most all of my money each month, living paycheck to paycheck.  I have relatively low income -- SSDI income.

But I am very content, not deprived. I'm happy and my BF seems to be happy as well.  It gives me a lot of happiness to know that in 20 months I'll have this home paid off and $50k emergency fund saved up.  Then I'll be ready for investing almost 100% of my monthly income into VTI.

Honestly, I've always tended to just put everything on automatic and forget about it.  My default is usually more on the cheap than spendy side anyway, so no real hardships.  When I started my first real engineering job (pre-reading mmm!) I just figured out an asset allocation that made sense and set up automatic withdrawals, then continued to live the same way I had in university.  At the time the idea was to build up a large safety net in case things went south, although later on reading about early retirement I changed goals.

I'll echo a lot of this. Other then a brief time of investing in individual stocks, which was more for fun than anything, I invested and forgot about it. I'm much more obsessive now that I'm spending more on things I like, so that I spend less on them and save more so I have more to spend on what I want overall (although I had a higher savings rate back then).

Now for random hobbies, I'm obsessive all the time...

StarBright

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #21 on: June 06, 2023, 05:56:35 AM »
I actually did have pretty intense OCD as a teenager, but cleared it up through an experimental treatment at the local university as soon as I was an adult and could do things like that on my own (my parents were pretty neglectful so I just have to suffer until then, unfortunately). so being intimately familiar with both frugality and what OCD feels like, I can say that for me the two are not connected at all.


ooohhh! Interesting! OCD runs strongly in my family, and while I don't think I have it and am more just run of the mill anxiety disorder, I do notice that I tend towards intrusive thoughts and compulsions during really stressful periods of my life.

I 100% feel like chasing FIRE is tied in to my anxiety. And I get really good at frugality when I'm particularly stressed.

It is really neat for me to hear that OCD and frugality aren't related for you.

Zikoris

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #22 on: June 06, 2023, 08:31:11 AM »
I actually did have pretty intense OCD as a teenager, but cleared it up through an experimental treatment at the local university as soon as I was an adult and could do things like that on my own (my parents were pretty neglectful so I just have to suffer until then, unfortunately). so being intimately familiar with both frugality and what OCD feels like, I can say that for me the two are not connected at all.


ooohhh! Interesting! OCD runs strongly in my family, and while I don't think I have it and am more just run of the mill anxiety disorder, I do notice that I tend towards intrusive thoughts and compulsions during really stressful periods of my life.

I 100% feel like chasing FIRE is tied in to my anxiety. And I get really good at frugality when I'm particularly stressed.

It is really neat for me to hear that OCD and frugality aren't related for you.

I do think it could be harder to tell depending what FIRE school of thought you follow. It seems to me there are two very distinct paths people take, probably mostly based on personality type. The first is primarily passive, where you focus on setting up a super-simple system and automating everything so you can spend your time and energy on fun things. The other is going very hands-on and having a system that involves a lot of ongoing time and effort. This really becomes clear when people discuss "Is FIRE difficult/hard work?" - and about half the people say it's a ton of work and the other half say it's none. I think the people in the effort-heavy group would be a lot more affected by anxiety/OCD than the do-nothing group.

wenchsenior

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #23 on: June 06, 2023, 09:21:14 AM »
To repeat, the OP asked about OCPD, but many people here are referencing OCD. They are entirely different disorders (though hypothetically both could, though would not necessarily, include being fixated on money).

OP, are you interested in OCPD specifically (I have lots of direct experience with that) or any type of mental illness in general and how it affects frugality?

Newday

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #24 on: June 06, 2023, 11:52:06 AM »
To add one additional perspective - Aunt wants to justify her life. It's mighty convenient to say that than face her problem or thoughts that she might have had it wrong all along. 

Don't worry about the nephew - you gave solid advice and they see that it works. Let them choose what they want. Don't get emotionally invested in their lives.

jnw

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #25 on: June 06, 2023, 12:49:35 PM »
Now for random hobbies, I'm obsessive all the time...

Yeah me too. I often get into new hobbies and end up spending a couple grand on them, or more.  Been working on a 1 year $500 max discretionary spend this year, so far 4 months in and at $0 discretionary w/o any deprivation.  I have so much stuff here from previous hobbies, I can just revisit those hobbies instead of starting new ones. I told myself I am not going to spend a single penny for a full year on hobbies; learn to make use of what I already have.  Has changed my thinking for the better I think.

I told myself if I get into a new hobby it must be one that doesn't cost me any money.  E.g. say if I started getting into playing guitar, I'd buy say a vintage Stratocaster or Les Paul at well below fair market value.  That way I can use it for a while and perhaps sell it for more when I am done with it.  Makes the hobby free.  Can do similar things with other hobbies.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2023, 12:52:45 PM by jnw »

Runrooster

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #26 on: June 06, 2023, 03:30:29 PM »
Jennifer, what is your long term goal?  I thought SsDI was inflation adjusted income for life?  Why do you need to save 100% after paying off your house and having a 50k emergency fund?

jnw

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #27 on: June 06, 2023, 04:10:55 PM »
Jennifer, what is your long term goal?  I thought SsDI was inflation adjusted income for life?  Why do you need to save 100% after paying off your house and having a 50k emergency fund?

Well I meant to say after I get $50k emergency fund, I will invest all my leftover money to 100% VTI.   So after 20 more months, around 60% of my monthly net income will go to VTI instead of money market, etc...   I'll have $700k saved or so between emergency fund and VTI over the next 15 years.  Will be good to have the extra money in case I want to move to a state where homes are much more expensive than where I live now -- my home value is only $147k on zillow.   Also I want to have a decent amount of savings for my beneficiaries, so they can draw 3-4% annually from it to help with living expenses.

Additionally, I really don't know what I'd spend it on otherwise, instead of putting it into VTI.  I have everything I need and very content.  Very comfortable as well.

If I had $700k in the bank, I'd have about $55k per year of discretionary cash, with the 4% rule and Social Security income.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2023, 04:21:17 PM by jnw »

Runrooster

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #28 on: June 08, 2023, 06:59:15 PM »
It’s interesting to me that you’re able to save $50k per year on SsDI income while also not feeling deprived.

I’m content with my lifestyle but I can definitely think of places to spend more money. Houses cost a lot more than $147k, clothes and restaurants can also add up. Knowing my sister wouldn’t pay for it, I could have treated my niece etc to a poke restaurant, what I call poor man’s sushi. It’s in a different direction but otherwise I might eat there weekly. Or I could buy sushi every week. I was also remembering this French bakery that had inch thick quiches, pastries, bread. Or cheese from that expensive dairy.

Then there’s a new iPhone and calling plan, that’s not cheap.

I don’t think of myself as deprived but I make choices to save now for retirement later. I wouldn’t save so beneficiaries could spend my money.

And then there is that guitar hobby. I’m not sure where you find a below market value Strat, and does that come with free lessons? 

jnw

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #29 on: June 08, 2023, 07:20:19 PM »
I don’t save $50k per year. I save maybe 25k to 30k per year.  My BF helps with half the utils, food, etc. expenses.  Also I am getting about $5k per year churning bank and credit card accounts.

The guitar was just an example. I already know how to play guitar actually, but I can learn more from youtube videos etc..  And my brother just got a vintage strat for about half fair market value.  My siblings and myself were raised by my dad who played fiddle, guitar, steel guitar etc. My other brother had a rock band and played out at various local venues -- his favorite guitarist was Jimmy Page.

I keep my iPhone relatively up-to-date. I have an iPhone 11 and next year I’ll have an iPhone 12. And the phone is only a year and a half old and only costs me $100 per year for the hardware. My phone plan is $13 per month. I’m very comfortable and content.

Regarding restaurants, fast food, convenience store food, coffeehouses.. I don't bother anymore.. saving thousands per year now just eating better tasting stuff at home.  We'll go out to a restaurant maybe a couple times per year and fast food maybe 3 or 4 times.   Also very careful with buying food, making sure I buy all the items at lowest cost possible -- I keep a price book and have a chest freezer.

$700k saved isn't all that much.  There are all sorts of emergencies that could pop up.. e.g. nursing home etc.  I am going to save $700k for whatever. I might want to move from this poor southern state as mentioned before.  That could eat over half of the $700k right there.

Regarding beneficiary: I love my BF, he's good to me and if I died, I don't want him to suffer financially.  It isn't all about me.   He's frugal as well and knows not to draw more than 3-4% per year on it.  He's not gonna blow through it; it will last the rest of his life.  And in his will/trust he'll donate a large portion of it to charity.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2023, 08:00:14 PM by jnw »

Runrooster

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #30 on: June 08, 2023, 08:31:13 PM »
Thanks, it did occur to me that 700k/15 years may be a lot less than just dividing through compounding.

I believe you are content, I’m just saying I’m… less so?  Obvs if I really wanted to spend more money, I would. And still might. I’m not like my sister who has more money than she will spend, but then cheaps out on lunch.

billygoatjohnson

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Re: Frugality and OCPD..
« Reply #31 on: June 10, 2023, 06:22:42 AM »
I'd argue that anyone that needs to spend money for happiness has a mental illness. Aka SUVs, Trucks, fancy cars, atvs, expensive clothing, jewelry, weddings, expensive house, etc.