Thanks all. Sounds like we'll just have to let go of it. One issue is that they ask my wife for help with things and sometimes it's just too much. The other part is that they seem to care more about the restaurant then their kids and grandkids. But if that's how it's gonna be then that's how it's gonna be. And even trying to find a manager (or getting one) probably wouldn't change things.... on top of that, it probably wouldn't be worth it because it would be hard finding a good/honest one and they'd probably have to pay quite a bit. I don't know what their overhead is but they bring home a fair amount. I wouldn't call it the most "successful" profit to come home with working that many hours though, as okits alluded to above. They don't *have* to work 13 hours a day every single day but they seem to *choose* to.... not realizing that it's probably hurting them more than harming them. They're scared that if they retire or work less they'll be "bored" or something. I guess in that sense the restaurant is their life. They can't even cut back to 8 hour days, and telling them to close 1 hour earlier (because they used to be open till 1am) was a huge thing for them to let go of.
Her parents have *talked* about changing things and retiring but it's never a reality. The way they're going now, they will just keep working themselves into the ground.
I think they want to leave us out of their woes with the restaurant but my wife ends up getting involved to help them because they can't figure certain things out (e.g. working with Grubhub and Eat24, and also the CPA who does their taxes, etc) and then they ask her to help... of course she does because she feels bad for them, as they are her parents. She tells me she can handle it now but as time goes on I don't know (especially with a second on the way). And with her aging parents, she tells me it's obvious they aren't as sharp as they were before and are sort of losing it... kinda sucks because it seems like there's literally nothing we can do to help or make them realize this (they will likely think they know better about everything until they pass - my MIL always asks why my wife doesn't take her advice...). Her parents seem oblivious to it or in denial. What can you do I guess *shrug*
Ugh, how easily I forget:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/retirements-for-my-in-laws-while-maintaining-their-ownership-of-the-restaurant/ - I guess this thread is more of an 'update' to that than anything. Asking about hiring a manager is probably a grasp-at-the-last-straw type of thing at this point.
As a quick side: they do have a pretty 'senior' person there who manages the restaurant if they have to step out or are gone on the *rare* vacations they go on. My wife knows they trust her and was thinking she might be the *closest* thing they can get to a manager (to take over) without having to go out looking for a new one.