Just graduated last year and I am on my first job as a software engineer on H1B visa. The short story is that I am very depressed since this March, after my previous manager left the company and I was placed in a new team. Unlike the first manager, my new manager does not value me at all, no matter how many projects I have successfully delivered with high quality.
Because of my strong performance until the new manager, I had very high package this year, about 200k. However, with the new manager, every performance review cycle, he gave me very poor score. For the first time, I was OK, and I though it just because I was new to this team. I believe I did better than last year the next cycle, but the second time, the third time, he did not give me any better score. I tried to argue, and he said I did not meet his expectation and I performed at the bottom of the company. I am a very sensitive girl, so I felt very hurt then, and became very depressed now. I do not see any hope in my career here.
I don't have much idea why he treated me badly. Some guess: 1. I did perform bad. 2. He was a professor. All team members except me hold a PhD degree. He thought engineers without a PhD degree does not meet his expectation. 3. Some team members were his former PhD students. He wants to keep a balance distribution on the performance score and gives his students higher score. 4. Actually a few years ago I applied for his PhD, but got rejected. 5. My company supports me for the EB1B greencard for my research achievements ( I published papers and filed patents during my work), but while he was a well-known professor his universities did not support his EB1B green card about 15 years ago. (Actually now he became my manager and he refused to sign my green card petition letter at the very last step, so my application is not filed yet. This made me further frustrated and depressed.)
To make things worse, because of my bad performance score recently, it is hard for me to do an internal transfer. In addition, because I am super depressed these days, I am not in a very good mood to prepare for the interviews and look for a new job. I guess I need to see a doctor, but I also think I should first stop working in this environment.
My parents said this is very common in working places. Even if I switch to a company, things will not go any better. I will have similar problems or other problems in other companies. Also, it is unlikely other companies will offer this much compensation and EB1 greencard opportunity. They thought the reason that I am depressed is just because I am new in career. I only need to become emotionally stronger. Their suggestion is to stay here for another year to turn my manager around.
I am thinking of quit the job and take a long vacation (a year?) to relax. I had enough savings for me not work for a few years. Also, my husband is very supportive and he has a nice salary to support the family. But, we also want to be FI as soon as possible. If I quit my job before I got my green card, I will have to change my status to H4 as a dependent of my husband, and it will be difficult for me to work again. My husband expects to get his green card in 2 years.
Could you give me some advice about my career? Is it just because I am not emotionally strong enough? Or should I take some change or quit? Thanks!
