Yes, the equity is in our house. We only "own" one. It would have been a lot more, but we live in a sandbox state, bought the current house in 2007 near the height of the housing bubble and got totally whapped. The house's value is *still* below where is was when we bought it. At least, it's only 10% down -- at one point, it had lost more than 45% of its value (according to Zillow).
One thing I have to prepare for the financial advisor is a detailed monthly budget with one column for needs and one for extras. It's slow going, but I'm making progress. We have literally never made a budget before so I am starting from scratch and every once in a while resorting to a little guess work. I only have the checks and credit card statements, so I know how much we spent in each store or at each restaurant, but sometimes it's hard to know if the money was spent for extras or for necessities. (Example: Depending on your situation, eating out can be more or less a necessity. On the other hand, some things we get at the local food store can be extras.) Doing my best though.
My long term financial goals are to be comfortable enough not to have to go back to work during later in life. I frankly do not care if we travel that much. We have done so much already. I'm not sure what my husband's financial goals are. He comes up with silly, wildly impractical "goals" when I ask him. I'm pretty sure he either realizes they are silly or will realize they are ridiculous when he gets around to actually thinking about it. Basically, it's a really nice way of saying: "Shut up! I don't want to talk about it!" Hopefully, he will start getting serious about it when we see the advisor.
Yes, he likes his job to a large extent. I think it makes up a large part of his identity. He might actually want to work past 65 -- I wouldn't be that surprised if this were the case. He has also brought up the possibilty of starting a business based on his research with me as his partner. I told him that if he really wanted to start a business, I'd be supportive, but I didn't want to be a partner (I mean, I have no expertise either in business or in his field). This is the only time in the last 3 years or so that he's been really angry with me. But seriously, I just don't want to be a partner in some engineering business. It's a horrible idea.
Did the advisor ask for a detailed monthly analysis? I have never had an advisor ask for that...just more or less what we spend monthly, and even then the spending was more of an afterthought since advisors tend to go off the standard percentage of income rather than what we all think of as a more appropriate spend/earn ratio.
What the advisor will need is
-all your assets (TIAA, Vanguard etc funds, bank account balances, any other items like bonds, actual cash, etc. If this is small, don't worry about it. $200 in a safe is peanuts compared to >7 figures in the other accounts)
-all your liabilities (what you owe on the house beyond what it's likely worth, any balances on credit cards, vehicles, etc or other loans)
-what you generally earn per month
-what you generally spend per month
The upthread suggestion of doing a rough annual assessment is a good one. You can just divide those numbers by 12 to get your monthly. Going forward, it may be useful to start tracking your spending or creating a budget, and there are several good thread suggestions for that. But don't kill yourself in the weeds at this point, especially if the records are difficult to figure out. I can imagine with paying for trips and then getting reimbursed, etc, it's going to be a fun job for an accounting type who likes that sort of thing, but a wine (or chocolate) occasion for you.
And don't worry about multiple options on advisors, finding a fee-based person, etc. at this point. Unless something is very different from your original explanation, this guy is paid by TIAA specifically to help out people at the university figure out their investing strategy for their 403(b) and related accounts. He isn't going to be selling you his special products, he isn't charging 1% of your assets to manage, he isn't going to be trotting out load funds or exotic products. What he will do is suggest how you might adjust your bond:stock:real estate:cash ratio, and give you an idea of what your husband's retirement options are. From my experience, this is going to be a good thing for you both, because talking to "experts" is sometimes really helpful for one member of a couple to realize the other member does know what they're talking about and it isn't a bunch of crazy bullshit. It is also a nice thing for a couple to have this chat with an advisor because it brings up stuff that is easy not to talk about, such as longer term goals, and overall lifestyle desires.
After this meeting, it might be a good idea to do some sort of couples counseling, specifically for you to work out your goals as a couple. It sounds like hubby doesn't want to think about long term goals because maybe he honestly loves his work and can't see ever retiring, but maybe is burying it or not expressing it to you because he doesn't want to disappoint you. You sound like you don't feel your desires are as important since he has made most of the money, but you also need a say in how things go in your shared life. Reconciling all of this is tough to do while you're "in" the couple-it needs an outside party to give feedback. If you go through a few sessions to feel like a team with some shared goals and some individual goals, you will both likely feel a lot better. And, the university may have some inexpensive counseling services, which may be all you need.