Existential crisis! Advice?

[lvoevge]

I'm a second year phd student in economics. However, I'm not sure why. I'm in a lot of student debt and this has always seemed like the easy way out of it, as its pretty normal to walk in to $100k/yr right out of school. I'm passionate about adventure and travel and I get to do none of either due to my low student wages and constant work. My wife has to work terrible hours to help with bills. I just realized that if I died tomorrow, I would not be happy with what I've done so far. I have excelled by being halfway through a phd at 24, but I'm not passionate about the career. I work hard, but its only because I want out of debt...I dont care about the work.
 

 

I'd love to work in something I was passionate about but if I left now and got a job with my masters, I'm afraid the salary would be negligible and id be slaving away forever to pay off my loans. Here are some current stats:

 

PhD student in natural resource economics. I love this topic because of its association with nature, but the field is not what I expected and the questions people pursue are driven by pressure to publish, not interest.

24 years old.

married.

$100k of student loans (will be $110 if I finish phd)

$1400 monthly expenses

$2200 monthly income

insatiable wanderlust and boredom with desk work.

 

If anyone has any tips regarding finance, career, etc., please share

[frompa]

Lvoevge, I'd say, given your numbers, finish the PhD (you're far enough in, another $10k debt isn't going to appreciably change your money situation, while securing your degree will). Get the job you need to to pay off your debt, then continue to live the low $ life while putting money away, then walk away from it all when you can.  I think the trick to not being overwhelmed by this is to give yourself little breaks along the way -- maybe a week off to hang out and do what you like most about staying home, or a homemade dinner with friends, or couple of days hiking or biking, or whatever you you love but doesn't cost a lot.  Inherent in your post is a hint of that notion that your life will be so so different if you can do what you love, but I'd counsel against that.  Even doing what you love gets to be a drain when you do it long enough to make a living off of it, so it makes sense to me to look at your personal assets and apply them in a way to free you from the money economy ASAP.  Buck up and do it, mate. 

[GuitarStv]

You're a hundred grand in debt for an education.  It would be a really bad decision to fail to complete this education and then use it to pay off the debt.  My experience is that several years working at anything nine to five makes it a slog.  Don't succumb to 'grass is greener' syndrome and screw yourself.

[historienne]

Finish the PhD if at all possible. 

If you go the academic route after, you have some options.  You can look for a job with lower publication pressures, which would allow you precious time to travel.  Or you could mold your research agenda to take you to interesting places - go study the natural resources of New Zealand or Indonesia.

Also, I think you could have a better life right now than you realize. You seem to be saving $600/month, which is great - you do have some flexibility in your budget. 

[BeanCounter]

Sounds like your just in a rut and need a little R&R. Any way to take a long weekend vacation? A quick camping trip or weekend at a cabin might restore you.
Yeah, you could die today at 24, but it's not very likely. And even if you did you still have a lot to be proud of. There is nothing sad about hard work and educating yourself.
You can't quit now, you're in too deep. So get some rest and then chin up and finish. Then get the good paying job, live cheap and enjoy the simple pleasures and pay off your loans. Once your loans are paid off and you've got a little 'stache you can focus on what you want to change.

[Rickk]

One more thought - not a happy one - but just in case . . . .
Term life insurance for someone your age is relatively inexpensive.  If your wife would be left responsible for any of your school debt then you owe it to her to get at least some insurance "just in case".

[Timmmy]

Pretty sure federal student loans go away when you die. 

Either way, finish the degree.  Use the earnings to pay off the loan in a couple of years.  At that point if you want to hit the reset button on life then do it.  Doing it now is a really bad idea.

[norabird]

At 24, I think feeling a lot of wanderlust and wishing you were out doing something adventurous that you feel passionate about is quite normal. Whether this is comforting or just depressing, that sensation burns out (or did for me). You can hopefully learn to find satisfaction in your daily life instead of yearning to escape it--while travel is wonderful, it's not really the answer; being present and fulfilled in the daily grind is what matters, not that people should make themselves miserable in the name of duty, but rather that the dream of traveling always is just that--an escape.  It's appealing, but it's not quite 'real'. Figure out what would make you contented in the now, whether hobbies, friendships, learning to cook, etc., and work on that now.

[retired?]

When I started Phd program, I expected it was a coin toss whether I would go into academia or industry.  Early on, my focus changed from the standard research done in the dept, but the coursework was very relevant to what I wanted to do.  If you can, stay in the program while you start taking courses in a related field.  Presumably, you have enough for the MS/MA in econ.  One field could be statistics.  If you leave with master's degrees in both, you can choose from a wide range of careers.

I found it hard to finish the Phd since it was a very roundabout way to obtain the knowledge I needed.  An MS in stat will earn more in industry than a phd in econ as a professor (unless you are truly stellar).

I'm assuming some of that 100k is from undergrad.  Right?  I view your current debt as a sunk cost.  It's there whatever future route you take.

I figure at 24 and having been active, your min earning potential right now is at least as high as when you finished your undergrad.  In industry, a Phd doesn't always add $$ over a MS.

[MooseOutFront]

Yup.  Time to forge ahead with this as it is a valuable set of credentials.  You can follow your hopes and dreams later. imo.

[lvoevge]

Hearing all of your advice actually helped a lot. I imagine at anything near a 100k salary it shouldn't be too difficult to pay back 100k in loans if I keep living the cheap life like I am now. I'm going to try and push through it. I'm pretty sure these crises are standard for PhD students because it is such a process.

Thanks!

[Numbers Man]

I have worked with a lot of phd's and I can't think of any one that doesn't make a very good living. Get the degree and your natural smarts will take over and put you on the right path.

[Sarita]

HR professional here.  Agree with advice to finish the degree.  The fact that you have a PhD will in itself be valuable, as an indicator of your intelligence and ability to finish a demanding project.  You could go into Peace Corps, or teach at an overseas university once you are done.  All sorts of things.  Most ABD people I know regret not finishing.

[dios.del.sol]

I'm not going to necessarily disagree with the other posters - there are advantages to finishing and everyone goes through rough patches from time to time. Only you will know what is best for you. It sounds like you may have decided.

I will tell you that I have seen many unhappy graduate students in my time (I am now a prof) and I have seen many happy quitters that went on to more valuable things and many happy finishers that left the academy. Take some time to find out about your options. What kind of life do you want? What kind of life does academia offer? What kind of life can you get outside? With a PhD? Without? This is hard work, but worth it.

Also, you're an econ student, so you must be aware of the adage that says "don't throw good money after bad". Run the numbers on the effect of deferred income until you finish versus higher income tomorrow. Combine that with your reflections and a clear path may emerge.

[surfhb]

Just a quick note.   You will be a completely different person once you're 30 especially If you have children.....you can bet on that :)