You need to do the sums on the proposed overtime: by the time you take out all the financial and non-financial costs the advantages may be marginal. If you do take on the overtime, your nest short-term answer looks like the cleaner- the only way you will be able to maintain a full-time job, overtime, the raising of kids and the managing of a household is by keeping your health.
I'm sorry you have such a lazy, self-centred arsehole for a spouse. Arguing doesn't do any good with such people. Instead, you need to learn some serious, professional-level negotiating skills. Try the internet and library books and put together a year's course for yourself: it will repay you in all aspects of your life, not just with your spouse.
Also, please think about the lessons your children are learning from your household. You have two problems: one is that they are learning some bad lessons about inequality and reciprocity in relationships, and the other is that they are not learning the skills they need to run their own households in the future or to be good dorm mates, room mates or spouses themselves. Start small, with them learning to only eat and drink in the kitchen/dining room and to clear their plates from the table after eating. Move on to them incrementally doing more and more.
Good luck.
