Author Topic: Dealing with two co workers situations and money  (Read 11054 times)

Frugal_is_Fab

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Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« on: September 11, 2013, 02:49:31 AM »
I thrilled to have found this website and this forum.  MMM seems to get what I'm about.   I'm still in the Corporate world but debt free and saving hand over fist to get out.

I don't want to offend my coworkers... but I need to avoid the following two situations.   How do you any of you still working stiffs deal with these...

1.  The lotto pool -   In every office I've been in there is one of these.   The ticket buying amounts to about $10 per week.    However, I'd rather shread my money then participate in this guaranteed loss.   Plus,  philosophically I'm offended by these lotteries that seem to make people believe that they don't need to take responsibility for their own financial destiny.   I know people , who most would consider intelligent professionals , actually say to me "I don't need to save ,  I'm going to hit that lotto!".     But my not participating leads to such comments as "what will you do when we win?" and "don't you want to be part of the group"?   What do you do fellow MMM readers???


2. The restaurant lunches... pressure  to go out with the group -

I bring my lunch every day.   Most days, right around lunch time , I hear.   "We are going out....don't you want to join us?"    The answer in my head is a loud and screaming  NO NO NO NO!   But of course , I have to politely defer every day.     The reason is two fold and should be obvious MMM readers...

1)  I spent about 10 to 15 min making my lunch this morning.  Why would I throw it away and spend $15 going out to some high calorie restaurant when I have a perfectly good already paid for lunch.

2)  By eating the lunch I brought, I get to save a part of my lunch hour for a much needed power walk rather than sitting another hour bringing daily sitting to about 12 hours.

Despite this I get....."Don't you want to hang out with us!"   "You are anti social".   Seems like if they really wanted to socialize with me couldn't they give a little and bring a sandwich and go for a walk one day?   Fellow mustacians ,  what do you think?
« Last Edit: September 11, 2013, 04:42:56 AM by kft4502 »

gooki

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2013, 03:18:34 AM »
1. Thanks, but I don't gamble. 

2. I tag along once a month.

But my office is very understanding. No one guilt trips you or looks for an explanation when you don't join in.

chasesfish

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2013, 04:13:22 AM »
I think your post isn't far off from what a lot of us face.

1) I tell them someone has to still be here running things when they all retire to the Caribbean. The "I don't gamble" response is also solid.

2) I work with plenty of mustachians and I am also one.  We have people in our office in outside sales roles and people who are internal.  I'm in one of those outside sales roles and I make sure 80-90% of my lunches are on the company.   

Two of our mustachians just go to lunch with the office on Fridays and we all keep it under $8.   The strongest mustachian still declines and we don't give him too hard of a time.


Depending on who I'm with, some of the mustachians will accept a costco hot dog/drink across the street for $1.50.  Splitting a whole rotisserie chicken is also a good lunch.

Frugal_is_Fab

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2013, 04:14:29 AM »
Thanks,  Your lucky it's no pressure :-)      Wish I could say the same.   

Ozstache

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2013, 05:13:30 AM »
1. Thanks, but I don't gamble. 

2. I tag along once a month.

+1  You can also add going for coffee, buying candy/drinks from the social club and buying charity candy/raffle tickets from a coworker to the list.  The last one can be hard as refusal insults either their kids or a denies a legitimate charity.


KMMK

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2013, 05:26:54 AM »
With #1. there's no pressure. But if asked I like to loudly announce my plans for my new position of "Queen of the ____________ Department" when you all win the lottery. It gets some laughs, and it's generally true as well. My own saving will get me more than the lottery likely will, but power, now that's harder to come by.

#2. Not an issue. Most of us take lunches from home most days and eat together. If asked to eat out, I go with a couple times a year. But again there's no pressure. I probably have gained a reputation as a cheap bastard, but I'm fine with that. They'll get theirs when I retire early.

ny.er

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2013, 05:49:20 AM »
I have the same issue in my office, however the office is quite small, so I don't feel that outnumbered. If you stand your ground, politely or with a sense of humor, you may find that you eventually win over a convert or two. For the requests for support for charities and kids fund raisers, I generally have a "once a year" rule for those who request them.

From A Buick 8

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2013, 06:35:43 AM »
I tend to use the same reason for both (even though “I do not Gamble” is solid), I just let them know that I am saving for a specific goal and all of my extra cash is going to that. Could be next summer’s vacation, home improvements, kids college etc…

Rust

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2013, 07:15:03 AM »
As crazy as this might sound.

Rule number 1.  Never, ever say no to the office lotto pool.  Instead, make sure they do the minimum or a % based approach.  Say Bob wants to chip in $10, I want to do $2, that buys 6 tickets, We win Bob gets 80% I get 20% and were FI.

I spend about $50 a year in office lotto pools and I just consider it my high risk/high reward portion of my investment portfolio.  Also, it makes for some good work team bonding just to dream about what you would do.  It's a nice friendly distraction.  Everyone likes to dream.

For the eating out thing.  I pack my lunch most every day as well.  I also eat out with co-workers often.  Lucky for me we have cafeteria's on campus (yes work is called a campus it's that big) and I just take my brown bag lunch over to a table and eat with them while they pay for lunch.  I've actually had some really good conversations about the benefits of saving money etc. over lunches like this and have spread the word.

Cannot do this at restaurants but you can do it if folks go to a takeout place and eat outside at a picnic table or bring it back to the office.

ThatsMyOtter

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2013, 07:16:44 AM »
For food-related invitations I'd blame it on trying to lose/keep off weight, blood pressure, you think you might have a food sensitivity, etc. I'm young, in good health, and skinny so I tell my coworkers I'm trying to avoid putting too much processed crap in my body. They think its kind of strange but mostly attribute that (along with my bike riding) to my "health obsession" rather than me being cheap or antisocial

rockstache

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2013, 09:40:48 AM »
I just say no. Politely and with a smile, but firmly. You don't owe anyone an explanation. I go out maybe every other month with my coworkers for a drink, although they all go out weekly. I guess they like me enough that they continue to extend the invitation. Every so often someone will make a comment about how they feel lucky that I am gracing them with my presence etc.. but I take it in good fun and move on. There is pressure but they eventually get used to the no and come to accept it.

Mega

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2013, 09:59:21 AM »
Regarding the lotto pool. It is a cheap form of fun to discuss with co-workers all the anti-mustachian things you would spend the money on. (I would buy a tank, yes, a tank).

Regarding lunches, here is a counter point to think about:
By not socializing with your coworkers, are you missing opportunities to network / obtain a promotion? Does your boss' boss go out with everyone?

Is there a hidden cost or benefit to going out for lunch?

My strategy for turning down lunch offers is to say I don't have the money right now. When I do go out, I usually order the cheapest thing on the menu.

MrsPete

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2013, 01:59:45 PM »
Lotto tickets -- I've never been asked to join one of these, ever.  I think I'd laugh and say, "Don't you know that those tickets are a tax on people who can't do math?" 

Lunch -- I agree with the person who says go along every now and again.  Good relationships within the office are important, and some of that is forged in social situations.  I vote for once a week.  You really can "go small".  We went out last night, and they had $2 tacos.  Order an appetizer, a cup of soup, or a small salad . . . and water.  Okay, ladies can manage this more easily than guys. 

But what do I know?  I work in a job where we can't leave for lunch and the only food available for purchase is cheese crackers in the vending machine.  We all bring lunch, and once a week someone brings for the whole group.  I definitely know, however, that who-gets-what around the office (in terms of assignments, duties, etc.) is determined through the social network, not just by one's actual job performances. 

Frankies Girl

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2013, 02:30:25 PM »
1. I just say "no, thank you" politely and smile. I also tell them I'm a guaranteed jinx and they don't want me participating if they actually want to win. Gamblers I've known over the years are pretty superstitious, and that usually gets them to laugh nervously and leave me alone.

2. Usually I just tell them I can't afford it. I don't tell them WHY I can't afford it. If that doesn't work, then I say I've got a super hot project that I have to work on during lunch and that's why I am eating at my desk. :)

chasesfish

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2013, 05:33:08 PM »
I would also agree with the social aspect of getting lunch with the office,  I have fun with the other mustacians with trying to get cheap meals, $3 tacos is a famous one near our office

Dee18

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #15 on: September 11, 2013, 06:33:34 PM »
Re the lunch, perhaps say, "I'm walking most days at lunch time.  I'd enjoy having company if you'd like to join me."

Re the lotto, "no, thank you."  It took me a long time to learn that I don't have to explain, although I will if someone asks.

destron

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #16 on: September 11, 2013, 06:40:03 PM »
I find that, whatever office I am in, if I regularly bring my lunch other people start bringing their lunches as well. Eventually you will have a lunchbox crew. Then, go once or twice a month with them (personally, I do it once a week).

Zamboni

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #17 on: September 11, 2013, 07:09:21 PM »
Quote
Lotto tickets -- I've never been asked to join one of these, ever.

Me neither.  Everyone I work with is excellent at math.  We do have a March Madness pool, but I'm ahead on that.

Regarding lunch, I'll chime for going sometimes.  At one of my old jobs I was able to convince co-workers to go to Bojangles monthly.  My two egg biscuits are under $3 there, and I don't really want to go more than monthly but other people seemed to get a kick out of our organized "Bo run."
« Last Edit: September 12, 2013, 07:09:32 AM by Zamboni »

mm1970

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #18 on: September 11, 2013, 09:18:07 PM »
1.  I haven't really dealt with this.  But "I don't gamble" was a great response.  "What will do you when we win?"  Wish you the best.

2.  My husband eats out 1-2x a month for the social aspect.  Me?  Many reasons and responses including:
- I take a short lunch break so I can get off early
- I walk at lunches to get exercise
- I'm 43 and female, eating out all the time made me fat, and now that I have baby weight to lose, it's not gonna help
- I save $8 a day packing lunch (at least), in 5 years, if you  multiply that by 2 (I pack my spouse's lunch too), that's a new car
- "I'm social, why don't you guys get takeout and come back here and eat with me?"
- you could always eat your lunch early and tag along and be social and drink water.  That will depend on the group and where they go.

At my last 2 companies, there was pressure to eat out.  Everyone knew how hard I worked to lose weight though at #1, so it wasn't too bad.  But I started the trend of eating at work, in the lunchroom.  I'd mention how much cheaper and healthier it was (in fact I posted calorie counts to the local restaurants on the bulletin board).  Anyway, at the last company and this one, it's now standing room only in the lunch room.  Be a trendsetter!

But it depends on your age too. When I was in my 20's and working in DC, I ate out ALL THE TIME.  Every day for lunch, sometimes for breakfast and dinner.  Oh, I found one of my old credit card statements 10 years ago (from those old days, that was 16 years ago now), and just about cried.

kkbmustang

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #19 on: September 11, 2013, 09:40:46 PM »
Is there any reason you can't either bring your lunch and eat with our coworkers wherever they go? This works well if it's in a food court/fast food restaurant. Or, eat your lunch early/late and go for the social/networking aspect. You can order water. If it comes up just say you have dietary restrictions and shouldn't eat the restaurant food or something.

I agree that the networking with colleagues can be important. Shunning it completely may not be in your best professional interest.

bettyb

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #20 on: September 12, 2013, 06:21:43 AM »
Lotteries are pretty easy to turn down at my office.

I usually bring my lunch, but I'm also in the camp that going out to lunch is important for socializing/networking with your coworkers.  I go out to lunch with a group once every week to two weeks.  I do make it a rule to try not to buy lunch unless I'm with a group.

davisgang90

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #21 on: September 15, 2013, 05:21:51 AM »
No lotto pools in our office, most understand the whole getting attacked by a black bear and a polar bear on the same day math.

Re: lunches, Most eat in or grab something and bring back to the office.  I'll buy my lunch about once a week with friends.

Elaine

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #22 on: September 15, 2013, 07:12:46 AM »
We don't have lotto pools but the lunch thing comes up a lot for me, pretty much everyone goes out for breakfast and lunch. I just always say that I love to cook but I just accidentally make too much every time, and darn it I just can't let it go to waste! That way they think it's a funny quirk that I can't estimate food instead of their own deficiency in not being able to plan ahead. I think people only get offended when they think you are criticizing their life decisions by making different ones than they would. If you're self effacing about it they can still feel ok about themselves, they will just feel like it's YOU that's the weird one instead of THEM being the stupid ones.

Other Ideas:
"Oh, I wish I could go out, I'm just such a picky eater!"
"I'd love to play the lotto but I'm so unlucky, I wouldn't want to risk all of your chances!"
"Oh I already packed my lunch and I'd hate for it to go bad!"
"I just can't get out of the habit of brining my lunch for some reason! Must be all those years brown bagging it to school!"
"You know I was having a craving for X, and that's exactly what I packed!"

I try to avoid anything about food regarding diet or exercise though since many in my office struggle with weight and I do not.

MMMdude

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #23 on: September 15, 2013, 04:53:33 PM »
Am I the only one who thinks eating lunch with co-workers is really weird?  Sure - I get once in awhile (which for me would be once every couple of months), but all the time?  I am on salary and technically not paid for lunch.  Therefore I have a choice to do what I want and with whom.  Since I don't see any of these people when I'm not at work, why do I want to spend any time with them at lunch?

Lans Holman

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #24 on: September 15, 2013, 05:16:17 PM »
Am I the only one who thinks eating lunch with co-workers is really weird?  Sure - I get once in awhile (which for me would be once every couple of months), but all the time?  I am on salary and technically not paid for lunch.  Therefore I have a choice to do what I want and with whom.  Since I don't see any of these people when I'm not at work, why do I want to spend any time with them at lunch?

True enough but realistically some social interaction with your coworkers is probably a good idea unless you have no interest in ever advancing at your job and the work that you do is fundamentally solitary.  If what you do is helped along at all by teamwork or if you have any desire to cultivate contacts and relationships within your workplace, you probably ought to hang out once in a while. 

Villanelle

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #25 on: September 15, 2013, 05:51:16 PM »
I'd do lunch twice a month and consider it an investment in the social and networking aspect of work. It may seem silly, but things like that often make the difference when raise or promotion time comes.  People like to pay and promote people they know and like.  To me a $6 cup of soup twice a month is a decent investment in looking like a team player and maintaining good relationships.   

 While out, you can simply order a soup and water, and get off fairly cheaply (assuming the split the bill based on consumption rather than just splitting it evenly across people).  The rest of the time, I'd let them know that "money is tight and I need to eat my home-packed lunch".  For the lotto, I'd say something similar, but also make a joke.  "I can't as I'm watching my spending.  Besides, someone needs to be around to run the place when you all win and run off with your winnings."

pachnik

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #26 on: September 15, 2013, 07:16:04 PM »
It's funny this topic of lunches at work. 

At my old job, the youngest employees (say 40 and under) often ate lunch out plus Starbucks coffees and sometimes breakfast at McDonalds and I would think they had the smallest paycheques.  Older employees (say 40 +) usually brought their lunches to work.  I was an older employee there and I ate out once or twice a week while I worked there.  It was a small office and I never felt any pressure to go out for lunch because no one else was doing it.  Guess we weren't a friendly bunch! 

Buying group lottery tickets happened maybe once a year and I was in on it.  No way i was getting left behind on that one!  it would be different if someone came around every week collecting $ for lottery tickets though.

Will

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #27 on: September 15, 2013, 07:51:43 PM »

+1  You can also add going for coffee, buying candy/drinks from the social club and buying charity candy/raffle tickets from a coworker to the list.  The last one can be hard as refusal insults either their kids or a denies a legitimate charity.

I had someone ask the other day about buying something (not even sure what it was) to support her kid.  I told her I didn't even know she had a kid, if it was a boy or a girl.  I told her as far as I knew, her kid was a goat!  This confused her and I was able to walk away.

hoyahoyasaxa

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #28 on: September 15, 2013, 07:57:48 PM »
With regards to #2, all of the other analysts in my office went out for lunch everyday.  I always brought my lunch but tagged along to be social.  It was never weird that I was going along but not buying anything.

NumberJohnny5

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #29 on: September 16, 2013, 12:11:42 AM »
I try to avoid anything about food regarding diet or exercise though since many in my office struggle with weight and I do not.

I wonder if there's a nice way of saying "Sorry, I'd love to go out, but if I did I'd end up looking like you guys!"

NeverWasACornflakeGirl

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #30 on: September 16, 2013, 05:18:26 AM »

I wonder if there's a nice way of saying "Sorry, I'd love to go out, but if I did I'd end up looking like you guys!"

No, there's really not.

RootofGood

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Re: Dealing with two co workers situations and money
« Reply #31 on: September 16, 2013, 07:55:07 AM »
Ahh, the stresses of the office!  How good to be out of the rat race...  ;)

Back when working, I would just tell them I can't afford to play the lotto because I'm maxing out my 401k and IRA and invest the rest in a brokerage account.  The lottery is a waste of money.  A diversified portfolio of low cost investments is a real lottery ticket that will literally pay dividends and make you actually more wealthy over the long term.  Most people tune out as soon as they hear 401k blah blah blah.  In my case, management overheard me and punished me by appointing me to the investment management board for the company's pension.  Different strokes I guess.

As for #2, I brown bagged it most days.  More like 3 course mealed it, but that is just how I roll.  Restaurants don't generally have great food, and I like cooking my own superior food.  I would usually pass on the daily lunches out, because most of the lunchers were annoying, not because I didn't want to spend $12 on a lunch.  I would make it a point to go out every once in a while, but I would suggest a cheap place like bbq or mexican where I can get out the door for $6-7.  I put that on the "social networking" expense category. 

You could be a trendsetter in your office, and encourage others to brown bag it.  Just say "Hey I want to hang out with you and enjoy your company, but I don't like to eat out for health and money reasons.  Brown bag it tomorrow and join me in the break room?"  You might find some coworkers give it a shot and bring in last night's leftovers to reheat for lunch.  So many people run like little automatons and don't take a minute to think about the financial and health benefits of something simple like brown baggin it!  You could give them a little epiphany!