This sounds extremely morbid, and I was against it at first. But my dad said that his father told him to do the same thing, and he wished he had.
Some background: My dad is 63 years old, in good health except that he has to use a catheter after surgery on his bladder/kidney was screwed up. His father passed away at 78 and his mother passed away at 86.
I was horrified at the thought at first. But the more that I think about it--well here's the deal. He hasn't saved up enough for retirement. He will work until 66 to get full benefits from social security, but I still don't believe he has enough.
My mother is bipolar--the kind that gets her sent to a state hospital every time she becomes manic. She has absolutely nothing, and in fact--they are divorced, but 'together' in the fact that she has nowhere else to go and so still lives with my Dad. His will has nothing going to her, it's split 50/50 between me and my brother. My brother is completely financial irresponsible and I know that if there is any money left, that will be gone within the first year. My main concern is that if my mom outlives my dad (which I'm not sure if she will), I will be left taking care of her. I love her and do not mind this at all, except that with her mental issues and her health (she is already extremely overweight) I don't think I could do it on my own without getting help--and I know that will be expensive.
Perhaps part of my questions is also about how to talk to my father about the will. Because I think that there should be a trust set up for my mother--otherwise even though its split 50/50, I will very likely end up with negative net worth after taking care of my mother. He has my brother as executor--he told me he switched it to me, then felt guilty and switched it back to him. I don't know how much power that gives him, I love my brother but my dad is still paying to keep his car from being repossessed, give him grocery money for him and his family, etc (and my brother makes 75k a year, it's not because he can't do it).
I don't know if life insurance is even worth anything, as I don't understand how the insurance company will give you money for something that is almost a certainty.
I'm afraid to talk to my dad about the will as I have tried multiple times to talk to him about his investments and he refuses to let me help him. He does love me and is a good father, I just think he doesn't like getting advice from his 25 year old daughter.
I hope I don't come across as bitter or calculating. It is a real concern that I will go into debt if I am left to take care of my mother. And I would gladly do so if it was between that or leaving her in a state run old folk's home. It does keep me up at night though, My dreams involve being tied down to nothing and my plans would intersect right about the time that these problems might begin to occur. Ideally, I just want to have enough money to make sure my mom is well taken care of in old age, and I feel like I don't have enough time to save for that without pulling extensively from my retirement. I'd appreciate any advice.
