Confession: Starbucks habit!

[homeymomma]

My husband and I have an almost daily Starbucks habit. We probably blow upwards of $50 per month there. It's not the quick drive thru in the morning instead of making your own cuppa at home situation. We go after he comes home from work, we bring our kiddo, and we make an event out of it. No matter the weather or how crappy I'm feeling (I'm pregnant), it's always a lovely thing to just get out of the house and have a frappuccino or hot chocolate. It is a luxury and we see it that way!

So knowing how many of you eschew Starbucks, what is your little secret luxury/out of the house destination that you get a pickmeup after a long day of work or being home with kids? I feel like it's really important time even for our marriage, just to have that quiet moment when neither of us is thinking about doing laundry or checking email or pulling our toddler back from touching the oven.

[rocksinmyhead]

we don't have kids, but for me and my boyfriend this would probably be taking our dog for a walk. we are lucky to have a nice park with a pond and a bike path just a couple blocks away. it's nice because we get to catch up on each others' days without distractions or me feeling like I need to be doing something "productive" (which usually happens when I'm at home after work, I get stressed out by the house being messy or whatever and feel like I need to be cleaning it). it is weather dependent though :) (well we'll usually take our dog no matter what, but how enjoyable it is for everyone is somewhat weather dependent!...although being the only people on the bike path walking your dog in the pouring rain is kinda wacky and fun in its own way.)

alternately, a drink on the front porch is always nice, and porch season just started around here :)

[Elaine]

Library
Game Night
Walks in our park/neighborhood
Movies (at home)
Gym
Browse flea markets/thrift stores
Explore a new area of the city (with packed lunch)

We are lucky to live in a big city, there is so much free entertainment here, especially in the summer.

[soccerluvof4]

Send the kids to bed by 9pm. Watch TV until 10pm in which my wife usually falls asleep to but its quiet! :-)

[lifejoy]

Could you make coffee or tea at home, and take it out for a walk together? Go sit in a park?

Starbucks is fine but it IS really expensive.

[Thegoblinchief]

Board games, just the two of us.

Can't afford good coffee, not that I'd call Starbucks good.

[boy_bye]

If you each get a $3 drink each weekday, that's $120/month -- way more than $50!

[homeymomma]

It's not actually every day, but we do get on streaks where we'll go two or even three days in a row. It's a couple to three times a week probably. Depends. :)

[greaper007]

For Starbucks prices, I'd rather drink beer.   Do you guys have a backyard?   My wife and I like to sit on the deck with an adult beverage and music while the kids play in the backyard after dinner during the summer.    I find it way less stressful than going somewhere because they can be as loud as they want and I don't have to worry about them running away in a fenced enclosure.

[HairyUpperLip]

You know what helped me stop drinking so much Starbucks?

Drinking good coffee.

I drink black coffee.

I went to some real coffee shops and had real coffee's. Now I don't even like Starbucks black coffee. Even their fancy drinks taste even worse to me now that I've had those made proper too.

I mean, Starbucks is still better than some options, but honestly McDonald's coffee is better and it's only $1. Good luck.

[Happy Little Chipmunk]

Speaking as a former 15 year Starbucks employee and current shareholder, thank you for supporting my incipient retirement! Speaking as a sistah o de stache, maybe you could do the visits less frequently?

Or do what we did and 'invest' in great coffee roasting and brewing equipment. It's a fabulous hobby and makes us popular bunch companions; we always bring good coffee to share!

[homeymomma]

Yeah, I guess I wasn't really clear. It's not about the coffee. We have a coffee maker, we have coffee. We never use it! My husband drinks 4 cups a day at work sometimes (just at the office), so he doesn't need it when he comes home. I don't like coffee! I only ever get hot chocolate or a frappuccino or whatever. It's really about the break/time/drive/activity/destination/purpose of getting out of the house and being somewhere else, even in the dead of winter when taking a walk or going to a park is not attractive.

Library is a really good idea. Now that little one is getting old enough to enjoy things more than board books, maybe we can make that a new habit. Although that's a much longer trip!

[Ottawa]

Yeah, I guess I wasn't really clear. It's not about the coffee. We have a coffee maker, we have coffee. We never use it! My husband drinks 4 cups a day at work sometimes (just at the office), so he doesn't need it when he comes home. I don't like coffee! I only ever get hot chocolate or a frappuccino or whatever. It's really about the break/time/drive/activity/destination/purpose of getting out of the house and being somewhere else, even in the dead of winter when taking a walk or going to a park is not attractive.

Library is a really good idea. Now that little one is getting old enough to enjoy things more than board books, maybe we can make that a new habit. Although that's a much longer trip!

Have you been to confession: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/the-latte-effect/? 

:-)

[SJS]

It's not actually every day, but we do get on streaks where we'll go two or even three days in a row. It's a couple to three times a week probably. Depends. :)

I am TOTALLY, TOTALLY floored at the money people drop at Starbucks - and not just for mom or dad................like you said, they take the whole dang family!! We have a Starbucks in the grocery store I frequent, and I am just always blown away when I see a mom and 3 or 4  of her kids walking out of the store, all drinking a Starbucks drink.  That crap CAN'T be good for you..........or your kids!! :-(     In addition to being expensive!!!    You are regularly contributing to Starbucks Executives retirement funds...........remember THAT next time you drop $20 there! 

Better idea would be to save that money in YOUR retirement account!!    Unless you are debt free and on-track for retirement, might be a good idea to scale that bad habit back to once a week............then once a month!!! 

If it's a "destination" fix you are looking for - like others have said, try the Library.  Or go to Barnes & Noble and hang out.  Kids can look at the books, and so can you - or read magazines!  My brothers use to do this with their kids all the time!  Every once in awhile maybe they'd buy a cookie.  But it was just usually a fun destination ride for them (within about 5 miles) and something to do. 

[DanielleS]

I disagree with the tenor of the answers to the OP.

OP, if this is your & your family's 'thing', e.g. you have $50/mo as your going-out budget and you choose to go to Starbucks 5-6 times a month instead of ONE fancier dinner where you're constantly having to monitor the toddler's fussiness decibel level, then you should do it with aplomb and not apologize.

My husband and I usually go out to eat once a month. It just works out that way since I like to cook and as vegans I'd much rather seek out a good vegan restaurant once in a while instead of having, for instance, 3 mediocre takeaway pizzas per month. But that's our choice, and we choose to spend about $20-$30/mo on a nice-ish meal. But we are retired and in our mid-40's with a good investment income, so we could definitely spend more and yet choose not to.

BUT, if your Starbucks habit is in addition to other splurges then perhaps question it. If not, then I think it's a great, and actually quite frugal, way to get your luxury on. Going out several times a week for 3 people and having it stay around $50/mo is quite good.

[oldtoyota]

Like a lot of things, it's about priorities. Is it better for your goals to hang out at SBUX after work or to have that money?

You might like this article, which details how to calculate how much more you'd have if you drop/reduce a monthly expense:

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/07/15/two-fun-tools-from-the-mmm-software-department/

$50 x 173 is $8K-something you'll be missing in your retirement accounts (is that in 10 years? Anyone recall?). It's up to you if that is a big deal or not based on your other spending, your income, and your other goals.

PS: You can order the kid's hot chocolate to save money. That is about half the regular size. With fewer calories and less sugar, it's better too.

[rocksinmyhead]

OP, if this is your & your family's 'thing', e.g. you have $50/mo as your going-out budget and you choose to go to Starbucks 5-6 times a month instead of ONE fancier dinner where you're constantly having to monitor the toddler's fussiness decibel level, then you should do it with aplomb and not apologize.

I agree.

she DID ask for alternative ideas though (or at least wondered what we all do instead of going to Starbucks), so I think that's why people were offering them up :)

[Freedom2016]

We have a nearby playground that we take the kiddo to. He gets to play in the sand, we get to relax (if not chasing him around) and chat.

[MissStache]

I'm in agreement with a lot of people around here:  A walk around the neighborhood, or take kiddo to the park.  I used to have a Thursday farmer's market around me that was a weekly treat to drop by and pick up some fresh veggies. 

I think the library is an awesome idea, too!

[skunkfunk]

I disagree with the tenor of the answers to the OP.

She is on an early retirement forum confessing that she is partaking in one of the most ridiculously expensive habits that Americans have.

If anything I don't think there has been enough face-punching here. That's $600 a year!

[Quark]

TIPS FOR FEELING FANCY FOR HALF THE PRICE AT STARBUCKS

Sometimes I bring my own tea in a travel mug and get hot water at Starbucks fo' free! I still feel fancy that way.

If you buy tea at Starbucks its half the price of a fancy drink and you can re-use the ginormous tea bag about 2 more times.

You could buy hot chocolate mix (full of junk) or make your own with powdered milk, cocoa, & sugar. Scoop some in a travel mug and get the hot water.

Instead of an expensive latte I get the regular or decaf coffee and put a ton of cream and maybe sugar in it (I'm usually a black coffee gal so this feels fancy and desserty to me)

I don't think I can help you out with the frapp though. You'd have to make your own at home in a blender.

[Cromacster]

Recently my out of the house luxury is eating out.  Its been twice a week for a while now, which probably comes out to 40 or 50 a week for my wife and I.  But we plan for it, so it fits what we are willing to spend and save.

[CommonCents]

TIPS FOR FEELING FANCY FOR HALF THE PRICE AT STARBUCKS

Sometimes I bring my own tea in a travel mug and get hot water at Starbucks fo' free! I still feel fancy that way.

If you buy tea at Starbucks its half the price of a fancy drink and you can re-use the ginormous tea bag about 2 more times.

You could buy hot chocolate mix (full of junk) or make your own with powdered milk, cocoa, & sugar. Scoop some in a travel mug and get the hot water.

Instead of an expensive latte I get the regular or decaf coffee and put a ton of cream and maybe sugar in it (I'm usually a black coffee gal so this feels fancy and desserty to me)

I don't think I can help you out with the frapp though. You'd have to make your own at home in a blender.

I have a problem with this advice.  It's misusing a free service intended for patrons.

In Kantian ethics, you try to imagine what would happen if everyone did as you did to determine whether something can be made universal (and therefore is a good action to take).  For example, if everyone lied, you'd never be able to trust what everyone is saying, so therefore, lying is bad.  Here, if everyone showed up and just took the hot water without paying for it (particularly if sitting down and enjoying their space!), then Starbucks would go bankrupt rapidly.

Choosing a smaller beverage, a cheaper one, or skipping it altogether is ok.  But using their free hot water, sitting in their chairs, maybe using their free internet too... it doesn't sit right with me, I see it as unethical. 

[Argyle]

$50 a month doesn't strike me as insane for a treat.  I'd bet most of us spend $50 a month on something that's not absolutely essential.

That said, it always helps to maximize.  If you put money on a Starbucks card, you get "points" and free drinks.  It's a free drink for every twelve you buy, or something like that.  And free refills, at least on the tea.  So you can get a small tea (cheaper) and then get a free refill.  There's probably something analogous with the coffee too.  Also they send you info about deals available with the card, for instance seasonal drinks for $1, etc. 

I don't work for Starbucks, but a group I belong to meets there, so I've explored all the ways to make it cheaper.

[lifejoy]

Yeah, I guess I wasn't really clear. It's not about the coffee. We have a coffee maker, we have coffee. We never use it! My husband drinks 4 cups a day at work sometimes (just at the office), so he doesn't need it when he comes home. I don't like coffee! I only ever get hot chocolate or a frappuccino or whatever. It's really about the break/time/drive/activity/destination/purpose of getting out of the house and being somewhere else, even in the dead of winter when taking a walk or going to a park is not attractive.

Library is a really good idea. Now that little one is getting old enough to enjoy things more than board books, maybe we can make that a new habit. Although that's a much longer trip!

You could try this experiment: every time you want to go to starbucks together, instead put $10 in a jar. Then go to the library, a museum or art gallery during free hours (most have this option), or do a free trial at a gym together, or volunteer somewhere, or see who can be more creative in coming up with a free leisure activity :)

Then in a month see how much monies you have in the jar. Put into retirement account or your kids' education savings plan. Smile. :D

[totoro]

I guess it is all relative. 

Given how cheap coffee/hot chocolate is to make at home it seems like an easy area to economize on with an equally satisfying substitute drink and activity.  We spend zero on Starbucks because we like home coffee as much.

On the other hand, lots of people spend at least this much on alcohol per month and believe they are economizing by buying cheaper brands.  We spend more than $50 a month and think it is fine.

So, if it is in your budget and you love it a lot maybe it is worth it for you.

[Fired4Life]

I LIKE Starbucks also. BUT, I budget a small amount for it. I think I have $9 left this month. Lol once it's gone, it's gone till next month. You could try that.

[Fired4Life]

As far as the kids, if they are old enough- don't take them. It should be your treat or special thing for yourself, and hubby. (IMO, kids shouldn't be drinking Starbucks anyway) lol. But to each his own.

[Mrs. Frugalwoods]

We've found it useful to substitute and "re-create" the going-out/restaurant/coffee shop experience at home.

We'll brew some coffee and set everything aside to sit down together as a family at the kitchen table. I've discovered that what I loved most about restaurants (which we rarely go to) was the opportunity to turn off. No computers, laundry, chores, etc. Just spending time together talking.

 By setting aside specific time for this at home, I really don't miss going out.

[StarryC]

I think you need to think about what you want and get out of Starbucks.  Do you drive there?  It sounds like after dinner (or before?) You load up your toddler in a vehicle and drive to Starbucks, and each get a drink and sit and chat.  Is that right?  The factors are: Starbucks is clean, feels "adult", you have no responsibilities there, and the only thing to pay attention to is your family, and it is not the place you've been for the last 22 hours.   The feelings you are seeking are: family time, low distraction.

My proposal would be a walk in your own neighborhood when the weather is OK (Even if it is cold, or slightly wet, but I'm not saying you have to do it in the pouring rain or below freezing.)   It can be a slow walk, and just a mile or two.  Strap the kid in the stroller.  It is free.  You can talk to each other and look at things.  It is out of the house.  You don't have to walk TO anywhere.  You can bring mugs, or not, and just walk to "that red house that is about 15-20 minutes walk away."  If you have a park that's great too, but if not, it could just be "That one house with the weird mailbox."

If you live close enough to "things" to walk it could be errands: The post office, the pharmacy, the bank, the grocery store for 1 or 2 things. 

Assuming it is nice enough to walk (Between 32 and 85 degrees, no to light rain/ snow) about 9 months of the year, I'd give you Starbucks permission for the other 3. 

Some areas have free "art walks" Gallery openings on one or two evenings a month.  You could try to find that, but I'm not sure how that works with a kid. 

 If you can't walk in your neighborhood, and can't go outside 9 months of the year, I propose you MOVE!

[penny]

I also don't think $50 a month is catastrophic, although I avoid Starbucks simply because the atmosphere is exhausting. I second looking into the library, and not only because I'm a librarian.  They should have programs for your little one, and that will give you and your husband a bit of a break. Maybe I'm being rash, but if there are Starbucks in your community, then your library is either nice enough to hang out in for an hour, or walkable enough so that you can do something else while the wee one is in a program.
Do you guys value routine? Or are you trying to break that? Maybe just trying something new each week, no matter how lame (library), would add a new layer of of excitement (beers on the porch?)

[FIRE Realtor]

We do something sort of similar just to get out of the house, but healthier, cheaper, and supporting a good cause - a trip to our local food co-op.  Even if it's not time for major grocery shopping, I pick up a couple things, get my 3 yr. old a snack she'd eat at home anyway (yogurt or nuts from the bulk bin), and we sit in the little cafe area for awhile.  They sell (good quality!) coffee and tea as well, but I usually just read a newspaper, not feeling guilty because I've already bought groceries!