Author Topic: Comparison is the thief of joy  (Read 2075 times)

rubybeth

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Comparison is the thief of joy
« on: October 08, 2017, 12:32:35 PM »
DH and I have been house hunting since January. We hit quite a few bumps along the way (a job loss being a major one, and health issues being another), and honestly, I'm dealing with some depression now, too, which doesn't help (gonna see a therapist soon).

We have a few friends who have purchased homes in the last 10 months and it's hard for me to look at their beautiful houses and not compare ourselves to them--why can't we afford a nice house, too? At this point, it feels like every house in our budget is awful and ugly and needs thousands in updates to be remotely acceptable, and every house outside of our budget is gorgeous and perfect and only needs cosmetic updates (paint, rip out wallpaper, carpet). We have made three offers where we were immediately outbid due to the seller's market we've been in, and one offer was countered at a still-ridiculous asking price, so we walked away--didn't even bother countering since our initial offer was what we could afford. We really don't want to "settle," because up until now, we've been perfectly happy to continue renting (our location allows me to walk to work and is within 2 miles of my DH's new job). But it's been hard.

I try to remind myself, we're doing well, we save way more than others, we have no debt, all our needs are beyond met, we are very lucky, etc. Heck, other than folks here, I don't think I know anyone with the net worth we have right now (mostly in retirement accounts that we don't want to touch to buy a house). We don't want to sacrifice our future happiness for a small hit of dopamine we might get when an offer is finally accepted (until reality sets in that we've just made the largest purchase of our lives thus far).

So, any advice about how to think about this? Or commiseration about being mustachian in a world of buy-now-pay-later?
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lukebuz

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2017, 01:26:34 PM »
Don't forget to enjoy life now too.  The future you dream of may not come.  That doesn't mean buy a 80" TV.  It means, perhaps save a bit less and have a home you enjoy. 
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Frankies Girl

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2017, 02:22:43 PM »
In your situation, I'd likely stop looking to buy a house and reframe renting as perfect for you and has great advantages over buying right now. It sounds like the house envy is what is driving you if you're seeing friends buying. You aren't stating why you feel the need to buy now/soon, other than you've been looking since January - why do you want a house? What's wrong with renting?

You already stated that the place you rent now has a great location... which that right there is worth quite a bit more in terms of happiness. Being able to walk to work is AMAZING, and the fact that you're also really close to your husband's new job is just a cherry on top.

Other positives to renting instead of buying:

How about, no remodeling or ripping out of things and spending time looking for a contractor to do this stuff (or getting nasty, sweaty and likely injured if you DIY?).

The need to do maintenance and upkeep on said property each week/month if you own is crazy. You'll need to get lots of yard equipment and repair stuff if you don't already have it, or you'll be paying for someone to come in and do this for you. Yard work, mowing/edging/trimming/landscaping, more to clean up and keep an eye on and saving for replacements on appliances, roof, etc... you are 100% responsible, and if you don't fix those leaky gutters you could end up with foundation issues or water damage in a year or two, and then there's that damned door that has the broken latch, the window screens that don't fit right, the garbage disposal just jammed AGAIN, the washer line is clogged... it truly is never-ending the amount of crap you have to deal with (or ignore until it becomes an Issue with a capital "I").

Anything breaks or needs replacing when you rent - you call the landlord and it's done for you. No hunting for competent contractors or worrying over the cost. Done.

No property tax/high insurance bills (yes, it's technically baked into the rent but you're not having to come up with the $$ every year or protest the property tax hikes that occur).

More time to build up a house fund if you have a decent rental right now.

You can wait out the market and keep an eye out for a real bargain house in the meantime if you stop feeling desperate to find a house.


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rubybeth

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2017, 02:44:57 PM »
In your situation, I'd likely stop looking to buy a house and reframe renting as perfect for you and has great advantages over buying right now. It sounds like the house envy is what is driving you if you're seeing friends buying. You aren't stating why you feel the need to buy now/soon, other than you've been looking since January - why do you want a house? What's wrong with renting?

You already stated that the place you rent now has a great location... which that right there is worth quite a bit more in terms of happiness. Being able to walk to work is AMAZING, and the fact that you're also really close to your husband's new job is just a cherry on top.

Well, we have lots of reasons for wanting to buy. We've been in the same space since we got married in 2008 and are running out of room. We want more space, a better kitchen for cooking at home more effectively, entertaining (we love playing games and having people over), and one of my main hobbies is singing opera, so I'm limited in how much I can practice without feeling like I'm disturbing neighbors (also no room for a keyboard, let alone a piano). We'd also like a bit of yard for gardening, etc. The living situation has been kind of a balancing act--we are okay with it for the reasons listed previously (low rent, proximity to work), but there are many drawbacks (neighbor noise and nonsense, not controlling the heat, being in a basement unit with limited daylight, our single stall garage is a half block from our unit, limited on street parking in winter, tiny kitchen, and now a COCKROACH INFESTATION--ugh ugh ugh, etc.). We've made it work for a long time, and we sacrificed buying a house for longer than originally planned so we could pay for DH's grad school without loans, which we did.

One of the houses I really loved would also have been within biking or walking distance of work for me and about 3 miles from DH's job, so that really would have been awesome, but it just felt like too much money.

We will likely do what you suggested and keep saving and renting, and maybe the right thing will come along, but thinking about the pluses of renting isn't really helping me at this point. :/
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Case

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2017, 05:04:56 PM »
DH and I have been house hunting since January. We hit quite a few bumps along the way (a job loss being a major one, and health issues being another), and honestly, I'm dealing with some depression now, too, which doesn't help (gonna see a therapist soon).

We have a few friends who have purchased homes in the last 10 months and it's hard for me to look at their beautiful houses and not compare ourselves to them--why can't we afford a nice house, too? At this point, it feels like every house in our budget is awful and ugly and needs thousands in updates to be remotely acceptable, and every house outside of our budget is gorgeous and perfect and only needs cosmetic updates (paint, rip out wallpaper, carpet). We have made three offers where we were immediately outbid due to the seller's market we've been in, and one offer was countered at a still-ridiculous asking price, so we walked away--didn't even bother countering since our initial offer was what we could afford. We really don't want to "settle," because up until now, we've been perfectly happy to continue renting (our location allows me to walk to work and is within 2 miles of my DH's new job). But it's been hard.

I try to remind myself, we're doing well, we save way more than others, we have no debt, all our needs are beyond met, we are very lucky, etc. Heck, other than folks here, I don't think I know anyone with the net worth we have right now (mostly in retirement accounts that we don't want to touch to buy a house). We don't want to sacrifice our future happiness for a small hit of dopamine we might get when an offer is finally accepted (until reality sets in that we've just made the largest purchase of our lives thus far).

So, any advice about how to think about this? Or commiseration about being mustachian in a world of buy-now-pay-later?

You do not sound to be in a mentally sound enough place to orchestrate a large purchase such as a a house.  My advice is to start and finish therapy, and then think about a house.

rubybeth

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2017, 09:45:19 PM »
Case, yes, I agree. We are taking a break from it and going to focus on other things for at least a few months. Thanks! 😊
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mozar

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2017, 09:30:06 AM »
What about renting a nicer place? A cockroach infestation would be my limit.
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Laura33

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2017, 10:01:43 AM »
FWIW, I do not think you are mentally unsound, nor is it at all unreasonable to be fed up after years in a basement (with cockroaches!).  I think you are experiencing the very natural frustration of having worked very hard towards a goal for many years -- including sucking up some less-than-ideal circumstances -- and are now faced with the fear that even all of that may still not have been enough and you may never get what you really really want.  And it's not fair and it's depressing and it's generally horrible.*  Totally, totally natural. 

I also think you've made the right call to step back for a bit.  When you are that wound up, that frustrated, you begin to make bad decisions.

So, first:  your friends are NOT doing better than you.  They are just living in their net worth, while yours is living in happy little investment accounts, procreating like rabbits.  They have bling, sure, and bling is very, very tempting -- especially to those that don't have it.  That's why bling exists, after all: to convince others that you are better than them.  But you have substance and character and the ability to delay gratification in favor of a long-term goal.  This is what will make you happy in the long-run, not a house. 

Second:  it is eminently reasonable for you guys to decide you are no longer willing to live in a roach-infested hovel for another X years.  So take a look at your plan with fresh eyes.  What alternatives do you have right now, in the real world, that would remove some of the annoyances and frustrations?  A larger apartment, maybe above-ground, with lots of windows and light, and better closets?  What do those run?  Maybe someone nearby has a townhouse or house that you can rent for a year or so, so you can get a little more space and have the feel of living in a home with a yard and such?  See what you can do short-term to decrease your frustration level and buy you a little bit of contentment, at a reasonable price. 

And/or:  play the "the grass is NOT greener" game.  Honestly, this is what I do when I get fed up with stuff.  Imagine yourself in the big house.  Now imagine yourself writing the mortgage payment.  Imagine maintaining it every weekend -- what fun weekend activity do you give up, now that you have to commit more time to mowing the yard and cleaning the house?  And, whoops, the HVAC system just went out -- gotta get a service guy out, there's another $250.**  Now, go look at your budget:  what fun stuff and/or savings do you cut back to cover the cost of all that extra mortgage, utilities, maintenance, etc.?  Mentally imagine yourself on a Saturday night, choosing not to go out on date night, because you are now living in that money; or imagine yourself at work at the age of [current RE target + X years], because you need so much bigger of a 'stache to support those higher expenses long-term.  Etc. etc. etc.  I call this the "even George Clooney probably throws his socks on the floor" version of mental imagery -- the point is to take a realistic look at your fantasy and see how reality compares to what you have now.  Generally, this reminds me that I'm in a pretty good spot.  But if you find you're still dissatisfied with your current choices, then go back up a paragraph and figure what version of extra money out and extra amenities gets you to a new happy medium.

And good luck.

* FWIW, we had multiple miscarriages and infertility treatments, which led to a very similar degree of frustration and depression and worry that we'd never get there.

**I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to us -- always on the first REALLY cold day of the year.
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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2017, 10:06:47 AM »
I'm sorry that you're in a difficult situation, and I hope that my experience might help you realize that it's doable. I moved back to my hometown 1 1/2 years ago when my mental health was very poor, and while in retrospect I probably shouldn't have bought when I was so off-balance, I did. I bought a house that was far from perfect, not especially lovely, but at a good price. It was the plainest place I've lived and I felt envy every time I looked at other people's houses. I've had to do all of the things that Frankie's Girl mentioned - plus an expensive foundation repair.

But - by doing all of the things, I've grown to quite like my little house. I've done so much to the place that I feel like it's really mine - something that I didn't feel in my last house where I lived longer, but didn't have to do any work to. I love my kitchen because I designed and (helped to) install it. I love the exterior colour because I chose and painted it. Ditto with 1000 other details. While everyone's depression is different, having tangible things on my to-do list that I could accomplish in the course of a day to make my house prettier and fall apart less was really quite helpful for me.

I chose my house because I had looked at everything on the market and had a panic attack when pressured by my agent. Not a terrific method, but I ended up with the ugliest house on a block of modest but well-maintained little places. Now, I think that I made a great choice. If my house were bigger or fancier, I'd be more reluctant to attempt DIY, but when things can only go so badly, I figure that it's worth a shot (I don't do anything myself where there is a risk of my setting the house on fire, and I consult with a structural engineer to ensure that I don't do anything that will make it fall down - and so long as it's standing and not on fire, I figure that all is well enough).

All that to say that buying houses that aren't already perfect can be a great experience. 

Slee_stack

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #9 on: October 09, 2017, 12:13:51 PM »
Perhaps easier said than done...but try to flip your perspective.

Once upon a time, I used to be impressed with other people's stuff.

Now I'm quite the opposite.  I tend to think of all the downsides of owning extravagant stuff and I end up pitying the person.  More money sunk.  More time/labor sunk.  More stress.  Yuck!

Everything is an opportunity cost.  If you are generally maximizing yours, you should be pretty happy.

human

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #10 on: October 09, 2017, 12:17:59 PM »
You really need to quit it with this moping. I live in an apartment of 1000 square feet and think it's too big. You can fit a keyboard, just get rid of something useless like a book shelf full of books you don't read. People in big houses are slaves to their mortgage, if that's what you want in life then pity on you. As for the kitchen put all your useless appliances away when not using them and you'll find more space.

frugaliknowit

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #11 on: October 09, 2017, 01:45:49 PM »
Perhaps easier said than done...but try to flip your perspective.

Once upon a time, I used to be impressed with other people's stuff.

Now I'm quite the opposite.  I tend to think of all the downsides of owning extravagant stuff and I end up pitying the person.  More money sunk.  More time/labor sunk.  More stress.  Yuck!

Everything is an opportunity cost.  If you are generally maximizing yours, you should be pretty happy.

+1

Better that you're in a small place, looking for more space, than having bought the wrong place and or having too much of a financial commitment.  Count your blessings:)

BTW, boric acid does wonders for killing roaches...it's super cheap and non-toxic.

dreams_and_discoveries

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #12 on: October 09, 2017, 01:51:20 PM »
I've managed to train myself out of the comparison thing, I've never really been one for material possessions, but I've always been jealous of people with seemingly perfect other halves.... I eventually realised envy and jealously are not helpful, and everyone is different.

I also found it helps to mix with a wider range of people, if your friends are all sickly sweet newly weds, single me is going to feel a bit of the odd one out, but once they include longer married, divorcees and people in non traditional relationships it increases your perspectives.

In my ideal world I'd have tons of frugal friends, who similarly don't value consumerism, but in the real world they are a mix, from high earners living in dream flats, to people living a frugal life as they have to.  Some people do have much money than others, and lots of people love to spend money - I'm now used to accepting some people have a more charmed life than I do.

ender

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #13 on: October 09, 2017, 05:22:19 PM »
One of the things that I have thought about with house envy is that... a lot of the people with nicer houses have a lot less of <fill in the blank> than we do.

So sure, they might have a much nicer house. But we have a lot more in retirement savings. Or eat better. Or that we never have financial stresses... etc.

The problem with a lot of envy is you only see the plus and never the minus. Houses/cars are particularly bad, because while they scream "I'm well off!" manytimes that's not the case at all.

elaine amj

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #14 on: October 10, 2017, 08:17:23 PM »
About 8/9 years ago, I finally started working full time and DH and I started considering upgrading from our simple 3 bedroom home. I crunched a bunch of numbers and decided we could handle a slightly larger mortgage payment and we started looking at a budget of about $200k which I thought was a reasonable step up from our $160k house.

We could not find any house that tempted us enough to move. I didn't even need a bigger house, just a better layout. The houses I did like were in the $250k range and I refused to pay that much more.

We ended up staying put and will stay until we have an empty nest and can downsize. We paid off our mortgage last year. Every once in a while DH and I still congratulate ourselves on staying here and not tying ourselves to a larger mortgage.

I still get pangs of house envy sometimes though. And I admit it's rough that all the kids' friends seem to stay in these beautiful suburban homes while we stay in a simple house with aging furniture. But then I remind my son that we are almost millionaires now (he gets so impressed by that haha) and we have the security of not worrying if our next paycheck doesn't arrive.

Also, it's a fact. Some people just have more money than others. That's OK too and I remind myself to be happy for their good fortune and luxuriate in my own (even if it is at a smaller scale).

Perhaps a slightly more expensive rental with a nicer setup will scratch the itch for a little while?

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Astatine

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #15 on: October 10, 2017, 09:33:32 PM »
I don't really have any suggestions except for the comparison thing. I too find it easy to slip into comparing my house to much bigger, newer, nicer places in nicer neighbourhoods, and that just makes me feel dissatisfied with what I have.

How I deal with it is flip it around and compare my house and lifestyle *globally*, not just the richer people in my city. Compared to so many many people around the world, I live a life of unbelievable wealth. I have clean running water. Yay! I have electricity and a magical box in my kitchen that stops perishable food from spoiling. Another yay! I have a roof over my head and my house is pretty safe and secure. I have sufficient food every day. More yays! etc etc Much better for me than comparing a new kitchen to my 70's kitchen and falling-apart bathroom.


Schaefer Light

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #17 on: October 11, 2017, 06:21:52 AM »
I also found it helps to mix with a wider range of people, if your friends are all sickly sweet newly weds, single me is going to feel a bit of the odd one out, but once they include longer married, divorcees and people in non traditional relationships it increases your perspectives.

If you think that's tough, try being divorced and avoiding comparison to your ex.

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #18 on: October 11, 2017, 09:52:19 AM »
Great post Laura33! I'm going to apply some of that to other areas of my life (I do NOT want a house at all).

You really need to quit it with this moping. I live in an apartment of 1000 square feet and think it's too big. You can fit a keyboard, just get rid of something useless like a book shelf full of books you don't read. People in big houses are slaves to their mortgage, if that's what you want in life then pity on you. As for the kitchen put all your useless appliances away when not using them and you'll find more space.

This seems...a bit harsh. Are you the OP's spouse?

rubybeth

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #19 on: October 11, 2017, 11:04:30 AM »
Thank you to everyone for your very helpful replies. I definitely know I need a perspective shift, which I am hoping therapy will help. Intellectually, I know we are doing very well financially and not borrowing against our futures. We could sell everything tomorrow and move to New Zealand! We could drop our $40k down payment into investments and retire a few years earlier! We have running water and electricity, and money in savings, so we are wealthier than most of the people on the planet! But it's still been hard for me, so I appreciate the comments.

Laura, your post especially resonated with me. Thank you for that. Infertility is so much more serious than a house hunt, but I think you are right--trying for something for a long time and not getting where you want to go is very frustrating and comes with a variety of emotions.

human, your post is a bit harsh, but I am choosing to believe it comes from a well-intentioned place. If you live in 1,000 sq. feet by yourself, you're way ahead of us--it's about 700 sq. feet for two people, with a lifetime of stuff from both of us. I truly am trying so hard not to "mope," I am a very capable, strong-willed person, probably over-responsible in a lot of ways, but stupid stuff keeps happening, like this Monday morning when my husband went out to head to work and our car had been smashed up and the tire punctured in a hit-and-run. Womp womp. It does feel like it's one thing after another for us this year, which normally, I'd be fine at handling, but I'm really not doing well lately (I usually exercise to help with stress but I now have a chronic pain issue right now that's preventing me from my usual coping skill, hence the upcoming therapy). For what it's worth, we keep only two things on the counter (coffee maker and toaster, both used multiple times daily), and it's still a really small space--there's no way I could ever host Thanksgiving dinner at my place. :D

frugaliknowit, how do you use the boric acid? Just put it out in little trays or something for the critters to eat? We did see a couple earlier last week right after the treatment, but they were moving slowly and haven't seen any since then. Fingers crossed.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2017, 11:25:02 AM by rubybeth »
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Spiffsome

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #20 on: October 12, 2017, 02:40:01 AM »
When I see people with much bigger or nicer things than me, I imagine how much time they must spend cleaning them. I hate cleaning, so it's a pretty good way to kill envy. Nice boat? Gotta be washed every time you take it out. Giant living room? Imagine all that vacuuming!

human

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #21 on: October 12, 2017, 04:51:48 AM »
Here we go again! Oh your place is a whopping 300 square feet bigger than minewahhhhh!!!

Why do you have a lifetime of stuff? Get rid of it!

My grandma had a tiny place and tiny kitchen and she managed to have christmas turkey every year. You really want to run out and get a crazy mortgage for one meal a year?

Yeah this is meant to be tough love face punching. Frome your tone it's obvious you can't really afford bigger so make some lemonade.

rubybeth

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #22 on: October 12, 2017, 06:59:49 AM »
When I see people with much bigger or nicer things than me, I imagine how much time they must spend cleaning them. I hate cleaning, so it's a pretty good way to kill envy. Nice boat? Gotta be washed every time you take it out. Giant living room? Imagine all that vacuuming!

Yes, this is what I've been telling myself when we look at houses in our price range that are over 2,000 sq. feet. Why would I want to heat/cool that much space? Why do we need 5 bedrooms for two people? We've really been trying to find something that isn't too big, but a lot of the older homes in our area are just massive. It's kind of been a double-edged sword. Sure, we can easily afford $150,000 2,600 sq. foot rambler on the face of it, but do I want to clean 3 bathrooms and mow a half acre lawn? Newer homes in our area that are smaller with somewhat better layouts/efficiency features are higher priced, of course.

human, it sounds like you might not be married--I don't exactly control what my husband does with his belongings, as much as I might want to. I don't really feel the need to justify WHY we wan't a house to you, the kitchen thing was just one small example, but thanks for the reframe.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2017, 07:01:27 AM by rubybeth »
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human

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #23 on: October 12, 2017, 04:36:28 PM »
I never asked for a justification just pointing out that your excuses are exactly that "excuses". I do have a partner and we purge when needed. If you go bigger with a hoarder, you'll just wind up with more stuff. I'm starting the think you'll get roaches at the new place too.

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #24 on: October 13, 2017, 02:01:04 AM »
frugaliknowit, how do you use the boric acid? Just put it out in little trays or something for the critters to eat? We did see a couple earlier last week right after the treatment, but they were moving slowly and haven't seen any since then. Fingers crossed.

You sprinkle it where they travel. We put it on the ground near the cabinet toe kick to stop ants from eating the cat food.

We're moving into a 600 square foot place (2 adults + 2 cats) and we've previously lived in a 650 apartment with 2 adults, a cat, and a large dog. The location was awesome. We could walk to grocery stores, movies, bars, pizza, work, and the metro.

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #25 on: October 13, 2017, 05:25:47 AM »
I've been there, I know the pain.   When we moved to our current city, I rented a house in a block/area that I loved, but every single house we walked into was just "ok", expensive, and arrogant sellers/selling agents because of how good of a market it was.  We were almost ready to give up and going through everything you're feeling, so I'll share my story of hope:

We knew the area we wanted to be in since we were already renting.  I started jogging the neighborhood most mornings, going on long walks with the dog, and we'd occasionally take a long, and taking the meandering way home.

One Sunday morning it happened, a "Coming Soon" sign on the right size house and we could tell it had a lot of what we wanted.   We peppered our agent and the selling agent on if we could see it before the listing.  They finally agreed and we saw it two days before listing.  We walked in and knew in 3 minutes it was what we wanted.   It had a nice couple selling it, they just wanting out of a 3br since they just had child #2 and the in-laws were staying for extended periods of time.  The price they wanted was fair and we said "that's a fair price".

We closed 30 days later and moved in a month later.   I feel like we have one of the rare, renovated 3br houses in an area where most of these houses are torn down for McMansions.  It can happen, just know what you want, where you want it, and "farm" that neighborhood.  There are reasonable people that just want a fair price for their home.

Good luck
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rubybeth

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #26 on: October 13, 2017, 06:54:26 AM »
We closed 30 days later and moved in a month later.   I feel like we have one of the rare, renovated 3br houses in an area where most of these houses are torn down for McMansions.  It can happen, just know what you want, where you want it, and "farm" that neighborhood.  There are reasonable people that just want a fair price for their home.

Good luck

chasefish, that's a great story! And a good reminder to stick with what we want, and not necessarily settle for the next thing in our price range (there's LOTS in our price range... just not quite what we're hoping for).

Whenever I've told people in real life about our house hunt, they share similar stories to yours. There are so many people who gave up on looking and then, like magic, the right place got listed--for a co-worker, her husband went through what I'm going through, and refused to even look at houses any more. And then one went for sale just a block or so away from their rental, and my co-worker said she just convinced him to drive by. The realtor happened to be there, saw them, invited them in, and they fell in love (for my co-worker's husband, I guess the kicker was the basement bathroom which would serve as a perfect dark room for his photography hobby... which is now his business!).

I'm hoping that's what happens for us--we have a few specific neighborhoods in our city that we like, and what we call "the triangle" between my job, my husband's job (and our gym is a few blocks from his job, as is his mom), and my parents' and the ALDI we shop regularly. Those places comprise most of our driving/walking each week, so we don't want to be more than a couple miles from that triangle.

This summer, things sold relatively quickly and we aren't fast decision-makers. I think we've honed our ability to decide if we like a place enough to make a bid, now it's just finding a location, house, and price that are acceptable.
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BTDretire

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #27 on: October 13, 2017, 10:28:11 AM »
"Comparison is the thief of joy"
Depends on what your comparable item is.
Just keep comparing your networth growth rate,
to the general population.
 That will keep a :-) on your face.

chasesfish

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #28 on: October 13, 2017, 03:18:31 PM »
I'll add that I found our house in the "Dead Zone" of early November with a December close
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rubybeth

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Re: Comparison is the thief of joy
« Reply #29 on: October 14, 2017, 11:34:28 AM »
I'll add that I found our house in the "Dead Zone" of early November with a December close

That's good to know. One reason we've let our lease go to month-to-month is so that we could jump at the right time. It's costing us a bit more than a one year lease, but it's given us a lot of flexibility. We've discussed the fact that we could just move to a different apartment--maybe even within the same complex, just a different building--with very short notice, especially if the critter problem isn't resolved.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2017, 03:31:32 PM by rubybeth »
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