Just as we shouldn't assume the older SO is "the" male, nor should we assume either SO is male, either... but interesting how much "reading in" I do in terms of such assumptions (of course I always assume a heterosexual relationship with the male being older unless told otherwise) and make all sorts of assumptions based on gender roles. Oops.
Also, PTF, as the younger (female) partner with a (male) spouse who is 20 years older than me. Current challenge: discussions about when he should start drawing his CPP. I think he should defer while I am still in F-T employment, in a high tax bracket, because I think the amount of income tax we will wind up paying will make it not worthwhile to draw CPP. (This is, obviously, something that can be verified and will have a factual answer, not just something based on a feeling.) He, on the other hand, expressed concerns about wanting to get back what he put in, worries about not drawing much if he delays (i.e. worried about dying, I guess). But I don't understand why 65 is his magic number now that CPP can be started anytime between age 60-70. I talked to him about this before he turned 60 (back then, we were not cohabitating, now we are) -- suggesting he might want to start drawing CPP right away and investing it rather than spending it. He was not receptive to that idea. Now he seems unreceptive to the idea of tax optimization. He is not very interested in or well versed in personal finance and resistant to talking about or learning more. It's frustrating (but not directly related to the age difference).
He seems pretty OK with the idea that if his health significantly declines as he ages, to the degree that he qualifies for a long term care home, he would go there (as opposed to being cared for from home or in a retirement home, at great expense, whereas costs for long term care home are regulated and uniform throughout the province). We've both been through with this with our parents (his father, my mother), who lived in long term care for a year or two before passing away. (Ironically, and unexpectedly, within days of each other.) I, too, would expect to be in long term care home of my health was at the level of deterioration to qualify for admission.
