Author Topic: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions  (Read 11711 times)

Anti-ComplainyPants

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Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« on: May 04, 2015, 08:20:18 AM »
Surely this army of Mustacians can help me to identify some great ideas that I haven't thought of yet!

I'm getting married next April, and my fiance and I are planning on having Bachelor Party Excursions: She wants to take her ladies on a 3 night/4 day cruise. I had thought to do the same with my fellas, but am also considering a trip to Cancun instead.

So here's the plan: a 3 night/4 day trip for 6-8 guys as either a cruise or a trip to Cancun (or similar destination) next February-ish. Naturally, the first thing I think of is that an all-inclusive resort makes drinking free (well, "included") and plentiful, while drinking on a cruise ship requires an inheritance to blow or masterful smuggling. I need some help with which to choose, any suggestions for booking (such as through-whom, etc.) or other considerations. As background, I've already been on a cruise (my fiance is picking a cruise because she's never been). I've also been to Cancun, and learned to NEVER buy excursions at the hotel (those Mothers will rip you off).

So why am I posting about a ridiculous vacation on the Mustache forums? Because I only intend to get married once, so I want my trip to be extremely memorable and as affordable as possible. I'm hoping that, with the proper planning, I can make this trip happen on a few hundred bucks per person. I'm placing the future of my Bachelor party in your hands! Thanks in advance :D

Bob W

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2015, 08:33:49 AM »
If you're close to New Orleans a day and night doing the town there should suffice.   Next thing you'll be telling us is that you plan a 30K destination wedding. 

Anti-ComplainyPants

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2015, 08:38:56 AM »
Next thing you'll be telling us is that you plan a 30K destination wedding.

No ceremony for us, we're going to get married in a courthouse. This is what allows us to go bigger on the bachelor party (although still trying to keep it to a few hundred bucks per person), and on a nice reception.

If you're close to New Orleans a day and night doing the town there should suffice.

A good suggestion, unfortunately I'm only about an hour and a half from New Orleans so I've already done the NOLA thing several times.

WhatIsFrugalAfterAll

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2015, 08:40:53 AM »
How much is your budget? How much is your wedding budget?

My bachelor party was had my party over for videogames.. total cost ~$100 for food and beer.
My wedding had ~150 people. Did a lot myself. Total cost was ~9k..


which I guess is a lot of money, but compared to my peers spending 50k+ on weddings.. came in pretty cheap

I would veto my future wife's cruise. That is setting up a marriage to be non-mustache.

Anti-ComplainyPants

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2015, 08:55:33 AM »
I would veto my future wife's cruise. That is setting up a marriage to be non-mustache.

::buzzer:: - the cruises were a joint decision. The idea was born from the mindset of, "let's skip the ceremony and have a nicer reception and bachelor(ette) party." While I won't claim that we're going to win any Mustacian awards, we do quite well embracing frugality and limiting waste as a couple. We almost always opt out when our friends go out to the bars, and we simply invite them to our place when they're done wasting money to hang out and drink at our place later in the evening.

This is why we don't consider a Bachelor trip to be "waste" - it is extremely commonplace for us to have parties at our house, and we have torn up New Orleans in the not very distant past. She's never been on a cruise, and vacations-that-require-travel are very rare for us. We're hoping for a very memorable bachelor(ette) party for each of us.

You also asked about my budget: Again, I'm trying to keep the trip to a few hundred dollars per person.
(EDIT: Grammar)

RexualChocolate

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2015, 09:14:06 AM »
For my money I'd go to Vegas, Nashville, New Orleans, Chicago. At least there you can meet some interesting people, instead of just typical consumers. Cruises/beaches bore me to death. They're pretty but no fun people to meet.

A few hundred dollars per person means driving distance. You can just split 1 or 2 hotel rooms if anyone wants to minimize cost. Also look at VRBO/AirBNB in your target city if youre getting 6 or more people.

Imustacheyouaquestion

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2015, 09:26:54 AM »
I want my trip to be extremely memorable and as affordable as possible.

In general, Mustachian travel tips are to travel slow (not try to cram everything into a few days), live like a local (rent an apartment, forego hotels), piece together amenities based on what you really need instead of buying all-inclusive packages (buy cheap liquor instead of resort drink packages), and think outside the box. I don't think a cruise or 4-day stay in Cancun meets any of those criteria.

February sounds like high tourism season in Cancun (probably coincides with some school vacations, which will increase prices further). Not sure exactly where you are, but just running flight searches for NOLA to Cancun in February, tickets are $300+ for a 4-day trip, so you'll have blown your whole budget on flights alone.

If you're dead set on doing a beach vacation, maybe rent a large house somewhere right on the Gulf (Alabama?) within driving distance of everyone. Do a big Costco run for handles of liquor and plenty of beer, grill food at the house.  On a budget of a few hundred per person, you're going to have to opt for something more low key than a traditional bachelor party weekend in Cancun.

Gimesalot

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2015, 10:15:56 AM »
I was thinking San Juan, but just the flight is $400 or so.  It seems like to meet your budget you need to stay in the 48 and drive.

What about Lafayette, LA?

There is tons of good food.  The city is centered around a small downtown with several bars.  Only about 3 to 4 hours driving.


CommonCents

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2015, 10:35:33 AM »
You may have decided...but what do your attendants think?  I mean, what do they really think, not what are they telling you for fear of upsetting or disappointing you?

Crazy bachelor party expenses that seem to be getting out of hand and taking away money and time (vacation days).  This may be a controversial opinion, but I think these parties can be selfish actually.  The problem is it's one mad party for you...but times that by many friends and it gets to add up.  DH had 4 parties in 2 years to attend, which meant few vacation days & money left for us to vacation.  That sucks.  And because he didn't want to upset the grooms, he didn't speak up to ask them to tone it down.

However, this all assumes that you were taking the traditional American approach and expecting your friends to pony up the cash for your party.  If you were naturally expecting to pay for everyone to come to your party, then it's just the time issue. 
« Last Edit: August 14, 2015, 05:42:09 PM by CommonCents »

WhatIsFrugalAfterAll

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #9 on: May 04, 2015, 10:41:28 AM »
I would veto my future wife's cruise. That is setting up a marriage to be non-mustache.

::buzzer:: - the cruises were a joint decision. The idea was born from the mindset of, "let's skip the ceremony and have a nicer reception and bachelor(ette) party." While I won't claim that we're going to win any Mustacian awards, we do quite well embracing frugality and limiting waste as a couple. We almost always opt out when our friends go out to the bars, and we simply invite them to our place when they're done wasting money to hang out and drink at our place later in the evening.

This is why we don't consider a Bachelor trip to be "waste" - it is extremely commonplace for us to have parties at our house, and we have torn up New Orleans in the not very distant past. She's never been on a cruise, and vacations-that-require-travel are very rare for us. We're hoping for a very memorable bachelor(ette) party for each of us.

You also asked about my budget: Again, I'm trying to keep the trip to a few hundred dollars per person.
(EDIT: Grammar)

Cruises are not very EXCITING. It is a bunch of overweight white people drinking or being lazy sitting around a small boat.

bobechs

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #10 on: May 04, 2015, 11:01:56 AM »
What's wrong with strippers?

Strippers,...and clown trucks. 


Anti-ComplainyPants

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #11 on: May 04, 2015, 11:38:39 AM »
Thanks for the feedback everyone!

The suggestions to drive are definitely valid, but unfortunately we're already spread across the country. Some of us are in MS, others in AL, MI, and NC. So in my head, a flight was already necessary for most of us - we'd just be meeting wherever we're going.

Sounds like the "few hundred dollar" tag is the most limiting, because if that's what it costs my friends to fly anywhere (most likely), then that'll soak up the budget. We could find someplace in the continental US to meet up, and from there do the suggested cheap food/booze, etc.

I was really hoping to travel (I, personally, do love a good beach scene) but it seems like I'm pretty limited as it stands.

Also, since it was mentioned earlier: I'm expecting everyone to pay their own way, including myself. I also have good friends, and by that I mean good enough to be honest with me - I'm inviting several more than I believe will actually be able to come, so it's clear that no one is "expected" to find a way to make it happen. And if that turns out to be most of them can't make it, then I'll just change the plans to better accommodate everyone.

mm1970

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #12 on: May 04, 2015, 04:27:25 PM »
You may have decided...but what do your attendants think?  I mean, what do they really think, not what are they telling you for fear of upsetting or disappointing you?

I posted before on crazy bachelor party expenses that seem to be getting out of hand and taking away money and time (vacation days): http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/antimustachian-wall-of-shame-and-comedy/the-rise-of-the-expensive-bachelor-party/.  This may be a controversial opinion, but I think these parties are pretty selfish actually.  The problem is it's one mad party for you...but times that by many friends and it gets to add up.  DH had 4 parties in 2 years to attend, which meant few vacation days & money left for us to vacation.  That sucks.  And because he didn't want to upset the grooms, he didn't speak up to ask them to tone it down.

However, this all assumes that you were taking the traditional American approach and expecting your friends to pony up the cash for your party.  If you were naturally expecting to pay for everyone to come to your party, then it's just the time issue.
Yeah, I'm going to ditto this, just because, well, because.

I know you've thought this through, and you are not having an expensive ceremony, etc. etc.  BUT - I'm an old fogey (been married almost 19 years) and it seems like the bachelor/ ette things are getting out of hand.

Why, - I mean really - why - do you need a party that is going to be a few hundred bucks a person?  AND - are YOU paying that? Or are they paying that?  Personally, I have found it difficult to justify even being IN a wedding that costs a few hundred bucks for dress, shoes, hair, etc.  PLUS the weddings I've gone to that require airfare and hotel (so the people who are that special to me?  Only a few.)

My officemate is getting married in a couple of weeks.  He's been to no fewer than FOUR bachelor parties in the last year, all destination.  Skiing in Colorado, a trip to Canada, a trip to Mexico - all of these required airfare, nevermind his OWN wedding and bachelor party. So, how much is it going to set back your guests?  Do you have guy friends who are going to pay hundreds for the party, and then hundreds again to attend the wedding, not to mention get a gift?

So, you want to go on vacation with your buds.  Have a nice weekend away.  I totally get that.  Nothing wrong with that.  But I guess the whole destination bachelor bash just seems so...odd to me.

That wasn't much help, I know.  But someone above said "keep it slow", so I'd ditto that.  Rent a house on a beach or a lake.  Go hiking or fishing or whatever.

MsPeacock

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #13 on: May 04, 2015, 05:39:27 PM »
I feel like an old cheap fogey when I read this stuff. I think it is completely unreasonable to expect friends to spend hundreds of dollars and use days of vacation time for a bachelor party.

WTH happened to going out a night or two before the wedding and hitting a few bars or having a nice dinner and going to a club? Are you expecting your spread out friends also to travel to your wedding?

And you say a cheap ceremony and great reception. New flash : the reception is the expensive part. The wedding ceremony is the comparatively cheap part.

Now I am going back to my fainting couch and yelling at kids to get off my lawn!

dapperdanj

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #14 on: May 04, 2015, 06:09:00 PM »
A few bachelor party thoughts, because it's been a few years since I had mine.

  • If you want to have your friends all show up, make it as convenient as possible for them. The important thing is the people, right? So make it a place that's easy to fly to. I did mine in Denver - why? Because it's a major airport hub - ten people showed up, and all of them had nonstop flights. That's a huge time-saver for folks.
  • Another benefit of doing it in an Actual Place - airbnb/vrbo. Rent a big house. You can hang out a bunch, cook together, drink a ton, and your costs will be way, way less than at a resort. Places you can do this in the States that involve beaches and are air hubs: LA, Miami, Houston. Mountains: Denver, Seattle.
  • Do awesome stuff that's beyond "drink yourself into a stupor." We had three days - a day hiking, a day rafting, a day at a ballgame. Again - fun, relatively inexpensive, and social. It helped a bunch to have a couple of locals who lived in the area around to do some scoping, but...yeah. That was awesome.

Think outside the norm - that's what this site and community are about. Cancun is as norm as it gets, and the place will charm you with a smile while its hand is rifling through your wallet. There is absolutely no way that going there is a few hundred bucks per person. With flight and a Resort, you're at well over a grand for three days. Your friends will pay it, because they love you. But they'll resent you for it. Show you care about them by making it as easy for them as possible. 

Exflyboy

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #15 on: May 04, 2015, 08:00:25 PM »
All of this reminds me to be cautious about accepting to be IN anybody's wedding lest I get a 4 figure bill..

Then again we spent $3k on our wedding for everything.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #16 on: May 04, 2015, 08:24:11 PM »
So my SO is having his Bachelor party in two weeks. Very much relevant to our existence at this time. They are renting a cabin in the woods near a lake. Drinking and nonsense to follow. If you have good friends, simply company in a neat place is enough. You'll still have an incredibly good time. I will concede, though, all his guys are local within a few hours drive.

My bridesmaids, however, are not. They're spread across the ENTIRE country (literally, I have all 4 corners. Yahtzee?). So you know what I'm doing? NOT having a bachelorette party. I don't want to burden them, they already have to fly for the wedding, why on earth would I make them take two trips?

Maybe we have different world views here, but I don't see you doing your GM any favors by making them pay hundreds and take valuable vacation days for a trip they don't get to plan.

ketchup

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2015, 08:33:48 PM »
The best bachelor party I ever heard about was my friend's brother.  He had a bunch of guys over and they ate food and played lots of Nintendo 64.  Total budget was probably $100 for all the food.

Pigeon

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #18 on: May 05, 2015, 06:22:14 AM »
Frankly, I find this so obnoxious.  You seriously expect people that you consider to be your friends to cough up hundreds so that you can have a party for yourself?  I think that's a pretty crappy way to treat friends.

Imustacheyouaquestion

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #19 on: May 05, 2015, 07:30:52 AM »

WTH happened to going out a night or two before the wedding and hitting a few bars or having a nice dinner and going to a club?

Like everything else about the wedding industry, savvy businesspeople have figured out that the "once in a lifetime" thrill is a good way to push people into spending way more money than is reasonable for these events. While your own ceremony may be a "once in YOUR lifetime" event, anyone with lots of friends is now expected to pony up for bachelor parties, destination weddings, etc. several times per year.

I've caught some flak for opting out of wedding showers, weddings, etc., but over the past two years I have used a smattering of mostly-true reasons to bow out: my budget is very tight right now, I can't get the time off work, my SO is paying down debt and can't afford plane tickets. Maybe this is a cold way to view our friendship, but if I don't see myself sitting on the porch shooting the shit with someone in 30 years, then I probably don't need to be at their wedding now.

Anti-ComplainyPants

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #20 on: May 05, 2015, 07:39:00 AM »
Frankly, I find this so obnoxious.  You seriously expect people that you consider to be your friends to cough up hundreds so that you can have a party for yourself?  I think that's a pretty crappy way to treat friends.

The original post asked for feedback and suggestions, not insulting controversy. This type of feedback is unwelcome, thank you.

You may have decided...but what do your attendants think?  I mean, what do they really think, not what are they telling you for fear of upsetting or disappointing you?

I trust my friends to be very forward about any concerns that they have. We currently have a private Facebook event so that we can all swap ideas and express any challenges. I have every confidence that we can and are honest with one another, so this is a non-issue.

My officemate is getting married in a couple of weeks.  He's been to no fewer than FOUR bachelor parties in the last year, all destination. 

I can certainly understand that - 4 trips in one year is ridiculous, period. I do know that among all invited, only one has ever been on a destination bachelor party before. That's part of the reason I want to have one - we currently don't see it as "another burdened trip." It's planned to be a completely new experience to almost all of us.

A few bachelor party thoughts, because it's been a few years since I had mine.

  • If you want to have your friends all show up, make it as convenient as possible for them. The important thing is the people, right? So make it a place that's easy to fly to. I did mine in Denver - why? Because it's a major airport hub - ten people showed up, and all of them had nonstop flights. That's a huge time-saver for folks.
  • Another benefit of doing it in an Actual Place - airbnb/vrbo. Rent a big house. You can hang out a bunch, cook together, drink a ton, and your costs will be way, way less than at a resort. Places you can do this in the States that involve beaches and are air hubs: LA, Miami, Houston. Mountains: Denver, Seattle.
  • Do awesome stuff that's beyond "drink yourself into a stupor." We had three days - a day hiking, a day rafting, a day at a ballgame. Again - fun, relatively inexpensive, and social. It helped a bunch to have a couple of locals who lived in the area around to do some scoping, but...yeah. That was awesome.

Think outside the norm - that's what this site and community are about.

Now this right here is some good, quality feedback. Thank you for offering up some solid suggestions.
Individuals who "cannot understand" my concern probably don't have the perspective to help me make a decision (CLARIFICATION: It isn't that their perspective is "wrong," because it isn't. I know that my way isn't "right," it's just my perspective. But it makes sense to me that someone who understands where I'm coming from is going to be most able to help. That's all I'm saying.)

I've caught some flak for opting out of wedding showers, weddings, etc., but over the past two years I have used a smattering of mostly-true reasons to bow out: my budget is very tight right now, I can't get the time off work, my SO is paying down debt and can't afford plane tickets. Maybe this is a cold way to view our friendship, but if I don't see myself sitting on the porch shooting the shit with someone in 30 years, then I probably don't need to be at their wedding now.

I don't think that's a "cold" point of view at all - I completely agree with you. I've also had to bow-out of some events for the exact same reasons, I'm certainly not going to expect that my event will somehow be the exception for anyone else.

I am grateful for the positive suggestions and feedback that I've gotten so far! If you want to call my rough-draft bachelor party plan any shade of "ridiculous," please do so somewhere else. I will blast away your judgments with my polished Optimism Guns! (Because whatever we end up deciding to do, it's going to be a fantastic time)
« Last Edit: May 05, 2015, 08:09:37 AM by Anti-ComplainyPants »

CommonCents

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #21 on: May 05, 2015, 07:45:46 AM »
You may have decided...but what do your attendants think?  I mean, what do they really think, not what are they telling you for fear of upsetting or disappointing you?

I'm growing tired of repeating myself, but since the questions keep repeating so will my responses: I am not a "groomzilla" or anything similar, and I trust my friends to be very forward about any concerns that they have. We currently have a private Facebook event so that we can all swap ideas and express any challenges. I have every confidence that we can and are honest with one another, so this is a non-issue.

I was the first to suggest you think about your friends actually, so your pissyness at me for feeling as if you are repeating yourself seems quite misplaced.  (That said, when a bunch of people are suggesting the same thing, you might consider whether possibly there is some merit to their point.) 

Anti-ComplainyPants

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #22 on: May 05, 2015, 07:49:09 AM »
Don't take it personally, CommonCents. No pissyness (I like that word, by the way) was directed at you; I knew it had been repeated before and I thought your quote was the most recent. (And full-disclosure, I was feeling a bit defensive - probably should've come back an hour later before I responded).

mm1970

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #23 on: May 05, 2015, 10:41:51 AM »
Quote
Now this right here is some good, quality feedback. Thank you for offering up some solid suggestions.
Yeah, someone else up thread said "keep it low key" (which I agreed with), and then the later person was much more specific, which was great.
Sometimes you need specifics to think outside the box.

Like I said, there's nothing wrong with wanting to get together with your buds - I know men who still do it now.  It's harder for us when we live far from our parents, have two kids, and have limited vacation time.  Some guys have an annual trip (like MMM, right?)  But the bachelor party thing is really 2 trips, because it's the party AND the wedding.  Then again, I think many guys would have more fun at the party than the wedding.

Given the locations you mentioned - I think the MI guy is just screwed. But I was thinking you could get away with driving if you went somewhere in the middle of the other states, like Asheville, NC, Atlanta, or Nashville. 

otter

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #24 on: May 05, 2015, 11:16:47 AM »
One of my best friends got married a few years ago. Her husband's "bachelor party" consisted of him and some of his mates renting a car (or maybe one of them had one, I don't know) and driving to France, and spending something like 3-5 days driving around touring wineries and sampling wines to select wine to serve at their reception.

This is by far the best-sounding "bachelor party" I've ver heard of, and its spirit will inform whatever I do when I get married.

Granted, they live in London, so France is an easy drive, but one could, from the US, do the same thing in California or some other wine-growing region. Maybe this is not really the kind of bachelor party you're after (if you want to get drunk, this isn't the way to do it), but even in that case it is an indirect suggestion to think different and focus on what kind of experience you want to have with your friends, and fun-but-different ways of doing it.


 

Surely this army of Mustacians can help me to identify some great ideas that I haven't thought of yet!

I'm getting married next April, and my fiance and I are planning on having Bachelor Party Excursions: She wants to take her ladies on a 3 night/4 day cruise. I had thought to do the same with my fellas, but am also considering a trip to Cancun instead.

So here's the plan: a 3 night/4 day trip for 6-8 guys as either a cruise or a trip to Cancun (or similar destination) next February-ish. Naturally, the first thing I think of is that an all-inclusive resort makes drinking free (well, "included") and plentiful, while drinking on a cruise ship requires an inheritance to blow or masterful smuggling. I need some help with which to choose, any suggestions for booking (such as through-whom, etc.) or other considerations. As background, I've already been on a cruise (my fiance is picking a cruise because she's never been). I've also been to Cancun, and learned to NEVER buy excursions at the hotel (those Mothers will rip you off).

So why am I posting about a ridiculous vacation on the Mustache forums? Because I only intend to get married once, so I want my trip to be extremely memorable and as affordable as possible. I'm hoping that, with the proper planning, I can make this trip happen on a few hundred bucks per person. I'm placing the future of my Bachelor party in your hands! Thanks in advance :D

partgypsy

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #25 on: May 05, 2015, 11:27:07 AM »
I agree with the above comments. Flying out of state and going to an all-inclusive resort, that is not going to be inexpensive. I like the idea of finding a place that you rent and you can do food/booze runs and also do nearby activities. Really the most important part of a bachelor party is spending time with best friends in a relaxing and conival atmosphere, drinking beer, playing cards, etc.

The cheapest thing I've seen akin to what you are talking about, is 4, 5 day cruises out of Charleston SC to the Bahamas (Carnival). But that's because I live in NC (I can drive). It also doesn't include booze. I don't know rules for carrying on booze.   

partgypsy

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #26 on: May 05, 2015, 11:32:54 AM »
I looked and for Carnival cruise each adult can bring 1 (750 ml) bottle of wine, no other alcoholic beverages, with them, and only consume it in the cabin (not in public spaces).

Fuzz

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #27 on: May 05, 2015, 11:57:33 AM »
Bit of a flight, but Portland, OR has the most strip clubs per capita after Vegas (including Vegas?), and is cheap for its size (something about few jobs). Plus there is surfing and hiking within an 1.5 hours. And delicious beer.

Are there big southern lakes with houseboats? That could be fun too.

Congrats.

RexualChocolate

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #28 on: May 05, 2015, 01:41:10 PM »
The original post asked for feedback and suggestions, not insulting controversy. This type of feedback is unwelcome, thank you.

I am grateful for the positive suggestions and feedback that I've gotten so far! If you want to call my rough-draft bachelor party plan any shade of "ridiculous," please do so somewhere else. I will blast away your judgments with my polished Optimism Guns! (Because whatever we end up deciding to do, it's going to be a fantastic time)

You posted this on a public forum which by definition is a request for opinionated feedback.

You're the asshole, not the people pointing it out to you.

toincoss

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #29 on: May 05, 2015, 02:05:32 PM »
Why is there so much hate for splurging on a once in a lifetime event?

My suggestions:
- I would strongly consider using AirBNB or similar websites to lower boarding costs.
- Consider doing the credit card game to lower air travel costs.
- Cooking for small meals and then splurge on a nice dinner.
- Buy your own alcohol and get wasted before going to any of your events.

NICE!

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #30 on: May 05, 2015, 02:18:50 PM »
WTH happened to going out a night or two before the wedding and hitting a few bars or having a nice dinner and going to a club?

WTH happened to hookers and blow?

CommonCents

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #31 on: May 05, 2015, 02:27:33 PM »
Why is there so much hate for splurging on a once in a lifetime event?

My suggestions:
- I would strongly consider using AirBNB or similar websites to lower boarding costs.
- Consider doing the credit card game to lower air travel costs.
- Cooking for small meals and then splurge on a nice dinner.
- Buy your own alcohol and get wasted before going to any of your events.

Hate is a pretty strong term.  I'd say distaste, reluctance, discouragement... 
1. This is an MMM board, not a wedding board.  We encourage rethinking of the spending at all in the first place (and only after thought, spending in reduced ways on priorities).
2. I don't mean to repeat myself, but you've apparently missed it above somehow (so OP, this isn't directed at you again!) so: it's only Once In a Lifetime for the groom (and *cough* not always - a good portion of people remarry).  For everyone else, it falls under the category of "parties for others".  Those expenses add up.

NICE!

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #32 on: May 05, 2015, 02:39:10 PM »
2. I don't mean to repeat myself, but you've apparently missed it above somehow (so OP, this isn't directed at you again!) so: it's only Once In a Lifetime for the groom (and *cough* not always - a good portion of people remarry).  For everyone else, it falls under the category of "parties for others".  Those expenses add up.

+1. A friend of mine gave about 2 months notice of a friggin transcontinental destination wedding celebration. That shit would cost one free int'l ticket worth of points (60k probably), plus about $3000 in costs for the other ticket, hotel/airbnb, food, fun, and drink. I'm really doing what I can to see if I can make this work but man, you really fucked me on this one bro.

Anti-ComplainyPants

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #33 on: May 06, 2015, 03:51:51 PM »
+1. A friend of mine gave about 2 months notice of a friggin transcontinental destination wedding celebration. That shit would cost one free int'l ticket worth of points (60k probably), plus about $3000 in costs for the other ticket, hotel/airbnb, food, fun, and drink. I'm really doing what I can to see if I can make this work but man, you really fucked me on this one bro.

Dude, that sounds like some bullshit. All these horror stories are making me really glad that I'm giving 11 months notice, including all of my groomsmen in the planning process, and am pretty flexible myself. I can't really think of anything that I feel needs to happen.
WTH happened to hookers and blow?
Definitely not those, but I like your enthusiasm!

My suggestions:
- I would strongly consider using AirBNB or similar websites to lower boarding costs.

Several people have now mentioned AirBNB (and another acronym that I can't scroll down far enough to look for right now). I actually don't know what these are, will someone please clarify for me?

NICE!

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #34 on: May 06, 2015, 04:01:43 PM »
www.airbnb.com

It is changing the hotel/lodging industry as we speak.

And yes, thanks for planning in advance! I don't think I'll be making my buddy's wedding celebration but money is only part of it.

mm1970

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #35 on: May 06, 2015, 05:02:50 PM »
Also vrbo.com

Vacation rentals directly from owners - so you can rent a house, a condo, whatever.  It generally reduces cost because you are doing shared housing with your buds, and you get a kitchen.

We haven't used it much (we don't travel much!) but we did use vrbo-like site to rent a 2 BR duplex for a vacation to Yosemite.  It was about the same price as a hotel room, but we had 2 BR, 2 BA, a full kitchen, a sledding hill nearby, and a lot more space.  A hotel room would be 300 sf? 400 sf?  The duplex was 1100 sf.

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #36 on: May 06, 2015, 05:15:44 PM »
2. I don't mean to repeat myself, but you've apparently missed it above somehow (so OP, this isn't directed at you again!) so: it's only Once In a Lifetime for the groom (and *cough* not always - a good portion of people remarry).  For everyone else, it falls under the category of "parties for others".  Those expenses add up.

I wish I could up-vote this. Too many people who have weddings get so wrapped up in the once-in-a-lifetime aspect that they forget how much of an expensive pain in the ass they are for everybody else. People tolerate the monkey suits, the butt bows, the expensive travel, the round after round of mandatory gifts and parties, and the hours of tedium... simply because it's important to somebody they love.

At any wedding where there's a significant amount of advance planning, expense, or logistics burden imposed on the guests or attendants, nobody is having fun. Nobody ever feels particularly "honored" by being in that kind of wedding party. They're fully aware that they're nothing more than extras in somebody else's big, self-absorbed extended drama... and that they're expected to pay for the privilege. I think that's why people drink so much at receptions. It's to kill the pain.

LouLou

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #37 on: May 06, 2015, 06:04:14 PM »
Like all wedding-related posts, this is controversial and the right answer will depend on your group of friends.  Hopefully, you are not the type of person who would judge people for being unable to make it because they can't afford the trip, time or money wise. I never judged friends for being unable to make it to my wedding.

I had my bachelorette in town and only told people who could drive there. But we were all broke students and I travel for the wedding was already enough for all my out-of-towners. We rented a party bus, had our own cheap booze on the bus, and bar hopped.  It was a lot of fun! That said, I would do a destination one if I was getting married now. My friends and I are scattered all over the country and like the chance to see each other. 9/10 when I travel, I am flying to visit my friends just because I miss them. Flying to celebrate a major life moment would not be a problem for me.  If four friends had events like that in one year, I would have to decline some or all and they would not be mad at me.

I just went to a bachelorette in Nashville and it was a lot of fun. We were six people to a suite (3 beds in a suite), so the hotel was only $60 per person for the entire weekend. The hotel was FILLED with bachelor/ette groups so we weren't the only ones who did it.  The bars and food were relatively cheap, especially to people coming in from the coasts. If you give people enough notice, they can get their flights cheap too. Find a fun LCOL city that is easy for your friends to get to and you are golden.

Other fun trips I've taken that were relatively cheap:
- I rented a beachfront four bedroom house on homeaway.com in the Florida Keys during March (off season, but great weather). That would be fun with a group.
- I go on a houseboat lake trip every year, like someone mentioned below. The houseboat typically has 3-4 bedrooms, and every one spends the weekend drinking and floating/swimming in the lake. You may have to do some research to find a lake reasonably close to an airport.
- Many national and state parks have lodges and cabins. Bonus if it is near any sort of water.

Anti-ComplainyPants

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #38 on: May 07, 2015, 10:13:38 AM »
Hopefully, you are not the type of person who would judge people for being unable to make it because they can't afford the trip, time or money wise. I never judged friends for being unable to make it to my wedding.

Absolutely. I'm not even having a ceremony (eliminating the need for any groomsmen suits or the like), so I've told my guys that if they can only make the bachelor party OR the reception, then that's cool with me.

That said, I would do a destination one if I was getting married now. My friends and I are scattered all over the country and like the chance to see each other. 9/10 when I travel, I am flying to visit my friends just because I miss them. Flying to celebrate a major life moment would not be a problem for me.  If four friends had events like that in one year, I would have to decline some or all and they would not be mad at me.

This is pretty much exactly how I feel. I know with certainty that none of these guys have been to a bachelor party in the past few years, and none of them have any upcoming engagements of their own. Even if they have to decline for some reason that is totally their own, I'm cool with that too. As long as I can come up with a plan that can accommodate most of them, I'll be happy.

@NICE! and @mm1970: Thank you for the links! I'll check those out.

Somebody also mentioned Wedding Gifts... My fiance and I are announcing that they are unnecessary. We have enough "stuff."

RunHappy

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #39 on: May 07, 2015, 10:31:26 AM »
I feel like an old cheap fogey when I read this stuff. I think it is completely unreasonable to expect friends to spend hundreds of dollars and use days of vacation time for a bachelor party.

WTH happened to going out a night or two before the wedding and hitting a few bars or having a nice dinner and going to a club? Are you expecting your spread out friends also to travel to your wedding?

And you say a cheap ceremony and great reception. New flash : the reception is the expensive part. The wedding ceremony is the comparatively cheap part.

Now I am going back to my fainting couch and yelling at kids to get off my lawn!

So glad I'm not the only one who feels like this!

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #40 on: May 07, 2015, 11:07:30 AM »
A few points...

For gawd sakes, don't do a cruise for your bachelor party. Maybe your 20th anniversary (30th? 40th?).

If you are in your 20s (it sounds like you are), going to Cancun or similar would be amazing! You and your friends will talk about it for years and years. But....it will likely cost more than you think.

For my bachelor party 4 years ago, my buddies rented a million dollar cottage in a tourist town (think Canadian version of Aspen) but in September. I'm not sure but I think the rental cost everyone $150 each and that included the food. Almost everyone was driving distance (2.5 hours). Booze was on them to provide for themselves. Friday night was us doing stupid stuff around the cottage and Saturday night was me being dressed up and paraded around the ski village, in and out of bars. One of the best weekends of my life.

You could do something similar but the rental would be on the beach. Making fun drinks all night. Bloody Mary's in the morning. Surf, or whatever you like to do.

I agree with someone above that throwing a ball game or something in the mix is always fun.
 

Dee18

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #41 on: May 07, 2015, 12:09:01 PM »
Seems to me like the key is simply to spend time with friends.  I imagine most young people want to plan their own vacations and spend them with a significant other and/or their own family.  A night on the town is a bachelor's party.  A three day trip to Cancun is a vacation.  You are asking your friends to take a vacation with you in lieu of with their spouses, significant others, children, etc.  I am so glad none of my friends have done this to me as I would probably awkwardly decline.

DavidAnnArbor

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #42 on: May 07, 2015, 10:43:53 PM »
You could take your friends to a sports game, like a football game or something.

LouLou

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #43 on: May 09, 2015, 01:31:29 PM »
Anti-ComplainyPants, can you update on what you decide when the time comes?

A bunch of my friends and I are planning a trip for next year where we will all fly to a particular place.  No reason - we just all live in different states. I'd like to see what you decide.

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #44 on: May 09, 2015, 02:07:26 PM »
OK, destination advice only:  In US, have you considered a flight to Detroit with a stay in Windsor CA?  I would consider this a "NOLA North" type atmosphere (in the summer anyway) suitable for those in their late 20's.

If you want to "go big"  research "Hen Party Locations"  which are very popular in the EU.  Can't tell you how many simultaneous bachelor/ hen parties I saw going on in Colonge Germany, Nice France or even Amsterdam.

Forgetting MMM fundamentals for a moment, if a destination BP is worth doing, it's worth doing well.  Try to cost advantage travel and lodging dollars and just spend what is needed on the rest-  Going to Paris and eating a PB&J to save on costs just doesn't make for a once in a lifetime moment for me.

Daisy

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Re: Bachelor Party Excursion - Looking for suggestions
« Reply #45 on: May 09, 2015, 09:20:48 PM »
Why is there so much hate for splurging on a once in a lifetime event?

My suggestions:
- I would strongly consider using AirBNB or similar websites to lower boarding costs.
- Consider doing the credit card game to lower air travel costs.
- Cooking for small meals and then splurge on a nice dinner.
- Buy your own alcohol and get wasted before going to any of your events.

Hate is a pretty strong term.  I'd say distaste, reluctance, discouragement... 
1. This is an MMM board, not a wedding board.  We encourage rethinking of the spending at all in the first place (and only after thought, spending in reduced ways on priorities).
2. I don't mean to repeat myself, but you've apparently missed it above somehow (so OP, this isn't directed at you again!) so: it's only Once In a Lifetime for the groom (and *cough* not always - a good portion of people remarry).  For everyone else, it falls under the category of "parties for others".  Those expenses add up.

I agree - it's a Once in a Lifetime Event for the OP, not his friends.

I have two friends (who also know each other) turning 50 this year and they want to do a "destination party". Well, they're not the only two friends I have and I am expected to attend both (according to them).

One actually thought about it and planned it first and is planning to foot the bill for an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean for a whole week. She said she would feel weird asking others to pay to attend her birthday event. Is this the protocol if you plan a destination event?!?!? I feel guilty that she is footing the bill, but I probably wouldn't attend if we all had to foot the bill because I'm not really into all-inclusives and they are expensive. I had said yes but now am having second thoughts because it just seems weird to me.

Now the second friend is mad at the first friend because she's wondering if she will have to foot the bill for her destination party. She wasn't planning to. I'm not sure what's going to happen with that one. Her birthday is during ski season and I go skiing every year. Doubtful I could make two trips within that time frame and I'm not giving up my ski trip. She's already hinted that I need to save money for her trip - sigh.

Turns out my brother is also turning 50 this year. Imagine if he wanted a destination party too. This all adds up.

I say have a party in a reasonable location for those that can attend, and plan a separate trip to hang out with your guy friends (and/or their spouses)...but don't associate it with your wedding, because then YOU get to decide the plans and costs and not everyone may agree with your plans. Then it would just be a trip they can or can't attend and not feel guilted into going because it's a Once in a Lifetime Event (for you).
« Last Edit: May 09, 2015, 09:23:38 PM by Daisy »