There are times when this is a source of tension as it feels like we're working against each other
Yeah, I do feel that way about certain purchases as well. It sounds like you and I have a similar dynamic with our respective significant others. It's OK overall - I think that the dynamic helps each of us to to keep an open mind, and I'm not bitter about it. Most days, anyways ;)
most folks outside of housing spend ~2K per month.
Actually, we're really close to 2K month outside of housing. We live in one of the most expensive areas of the country (Boston suburbs) and although you could argue that we own somewhat more home than we need -- it's a 3BR/2.5 bath, 1800 sq feet or so -- it's definitely not a McMansion or anything outrageous. Still, the point remains that this is an area for potential cost cutting.
On the other hand, rental costs in the area have been soaring since 2008 when everyone became afraid to buy. This means that we'd have a lot of trouble getting a 2 or 3BR for within 10% of what we currently pay on our mortgage. I think we'd have to move away from Boston to realize a significant reduction in rent/mortgage monthlies.
What will you do if you don't work?
So let's start with what I do:
I'm an IT professional who focuses on application development and infrastructure planning/buildouts, high availability, automation, etc. The technical tasks are somewhat interesting. And coworkers/management are fine. However, the pace is fast, and it's been very fast my entire career, regardless of where I've worked (although some places have been worse than others.) "Changes" are always scheduled during off hours (early morning, late night, weekends) and there's unavoidable on-call duty. So you work 40 hours a week, plus the extra stuff, to accommodate business demands for new application deployments, troubleshooting existing problems, disaster recovery tests, etc. I'm sure I've put most readers to sleep by now. I know every job has it's own set of challenges and I've always been grateful to be employed, and enjoy producing high quality work, but at the same time I want to make the point that it's not the easiest thing to do. When there are production outages and serious problems it also eats into your sleep because your brain will just keep plugging away at the issue -- whether you want it to or not, honestly -- until you arrive at a solution.
Sometimes I think that what I really need is a year off, but let me tell you, the industry is not kind to people who have employment gaps. If I can't speak intelligently about new load balancing units, or the sudden ubiquity of ipV6 network implementations, or <insert 15 other new industry trends here>, I'm practically unhireable. Lots of studies back this up; this is not an unfounded fear. Considering this, I'd rather continue to straight-shot to FIRE than mess around with large blocks of time off which may produce a considerable negative impact.
What would I like to do? Exercise 2+ hours a day. Cook _all_ of my own meals instead of half of them. Read everything in sight. Play guitar 2+ hours a day -- I'm a reasonably competent player who is continually unable to practice as much as I'd like due to work and an insistence on doing other higher priority activities with the time that I'm not working (i.e. exercise, home maintenance, etc) Perhaps even join a low-key band. Spend a lot more time with my aging parents and my significant other. Look into consistently volunteering. I've also considered teaching comp. science to HS kids which would be an interesting career shift for me. (They're apparently in demand, mostly because people with degrees would rather make 90-120K /yr in business than 50K teaching. Not surprising. Note that it would cost some amount of money to get the required certificates to teach.) I am not in the "sit on the beach and drink all day once I'm retired" camp. I want my life to be productive and useful, but also more well-rounded.
I realize I need better plans than this -- something more structured and less dreamy -- or it'll get old. Some people have mentioned trying to live a lifestyle closer to what I'd like to do when I'm retired -- and to live that lifestyle *now*. But I seem to be unable to do that because of work; I'm puzzled as to how people make that happen while maintaining professionally high standards of quality with their current employers.
>>rental income is low unless that number is after maintenance and paying yourself
Yep, you nailed it: This number is after maintenance other costs; the 1200 is the cream only, after all expenses. And going up to 1300 in Jan.
>>but it seems as though most people who FIRE continue to generate moderate amounts of income every month from their newfound careers
This is really the key. It looks like I need to figure out how to make some money without a full-time 40+hour a week job if I want to FIRE without putting in another 4-5 years.
I'll continue the investigation.