The high costs in most of HCOLAs tend to mostly stem from housing. Other things that end up being more expensive than other areas, like restaurant meals, salon services, daycare, mechanic, etc would then go back to the fact that everyone working at these places has to pay rent, too. The way you save more is by consuming as little housing as you can get away with. A single family home is a huge luxury; condos are generally a more efficient form of housing. You say you sell flowers and fruit that you grow, but does that even cover the cost of growing them, much less the extra housing costs of having a house vs eg a 3BR condo? In an earlier post you said you paid $240/mo for someone to come care for your yard? Hopefully you've cut that already.
And obviously, this tradeoff to some extent exists everywhere (extra space, rooms, finishes, nice neighborhood, etc costs more), but where in rural Iowa an average house might be $150k and $400k would basically be a mansion, in my area (LA suburb) a 1BR condo is ~$250k, houses seem to start around $500-700k (and they start small/crummy, maybe 2-3BR) and as you get into really nice ones they definitely get into the millions.
I'm not saying you have to move, but I suspect you're in a situation of "geographical location, yard, savings; pick 2." If you are staying in the exact place you are in, you are locking up that (presumably large) part of your budget, and only have the rest to play with. How much can you cut from those other expenses?
As for cars, between insurance, gas, and maintenance they can get up to a few hundred each month. As with housing, it's best to minimize how much auto you need. I knew one-car families growing up where mom would take dad to work and pick him up. It's not the most convenient, but saves the cost of the car plus insurance, gas, maintenance and registration; is that worth the inconvenience? Can you afford the convenience in the first place? You have to decide. Obviously if walking, biking, moped/scooter, bus, or carpool are options they are worth considering.