Author Topic: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?  (Read 2104 times)

RetireAbroadAt35

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 222
About a year ago, shortly after starting a new full-time j-o-b, I posted a thread to reflect on that year and what I'd learned through job change.  It led to a great discussion.  In retrospect, I can see where I got defensive in that thread at a few points.  Digging into those topics has been very helpful to me as I ponder my next steps.

A quick recap:
  • In a relationship, no kids.  Not likely to change but you never know where life takes you.
  • Working-class background but found myself in a professional industry.  I don't especially like it but I've been at it for a while because it represented a life-altering opportunity for me and perhaps others in my life. And it's better than a coal mine.
  • Have been FI for a few years now.  Not satisfied with life and trying to decide if RE is the next step.
  • I've taken a few sabbaticals.  One thing I learned - I won't be bored in RE.

One More Year
And it's been another year.  I've run my victory lap at my new employer (and started another).  The days, weeks, and months just keep flying by. 

Last year, I challenged myself to use my FI status for something positive, while I tested out life at GigaCorp.  I told myself that in the best case, GigaCorp offers a unicorn job that brings financial comfort and allows enough freedom to seek meaning and fullfillment outside the office.   I figured my worst case was that I'd run a victory lap and use my income for good.  I couched it as a win-win scenario. 

I hadn't really accepted that my actual worst-case scenario would be failing health or missing out on something important in life while intently focused on work.

So far it's been a mixed bag.

Accomplishments
  • For my industry, this really is a top employer and a great place to work.  If I'm going to do what I do, this is the place to do it.  Achievement.
  • I increased my stache by 10% reaching 29.4x my planned expenses* or 49.6x my minimum expenses**.
  • Gave financial gifts to family members that were well-received and while not life-changing, were definitely life-improving.
  • Created a donor-advised fund to frontload a lifetime of charitable contributions.  Using the 4% rule to make it last.
  • Earmarked a completely insufficient fund for potential nursing care / college funds / whatever else may be
  • Made some minor progress on a hobby project.
  • Used vacation time to be close to some important people in my life.
  • Outlined a very interesting post-RE project (pure passion, not gonna make money) and got my partner on-board.

* Includes the DAF as small charitable contributions are built into my budget.
** Food, housing, medical, transportation, bills.  Just cover the basics (including my half of the bills) in my HCOL area.

Failures
  • I don't like what I do for a living.  I never have really - and a big factor is, I think, the working-class vs white-collar culture shock.  I also think I burned myself out at MegaCorp.  Perhaps unrecoverably.  Even though I solved many of the things that were off-kilter at MegaCorp by negotiating my role at GigaCorp, I cannot summon any passion for this.  I consider that a failure as I had kind of hoped I would get my mojo back.
  • I can't seem to carve out enough time and energy to advance the other areas of my life that deserve attention.
  • My job requires me to find problems, define them, and then solve them.  I am constantly building and breaking new teams.  I manage people across many timezones.  I am the face to our customers.  I'm good at it.  But it is highly-stressful and I have incorporated that stress right back into my daily existence.
  • The lack of energy for my personal life extends to my professional life as well.  While I'm killin' it on the main responsibilities, I'm not doing all of the "extra-curriculars" that are required to be successful.

In short, the work is better.  Much better.  More fullfilling.  But it is demanding to the exclusion of so much else.  Some of my colleagues seem to make it work but in the few cases where I've had the opportunity to look under the covers, they don't seem to have it figured out any better than I do. 

So I try not to compare.

Financial Status
I don't want to get into numbers here, but my planned annual spending is below the median household income in the US.  With my partner's spending we'd be slightly above it.  For our HCOL area, our combined household spending is below the median. 

My partner in life is financially responsible, likely FI.  Their contributions to the household income take my planned spending from "pretty lean" to "pretty comfortable" for the area.  We are renting, as home prices are out of reach if I RE.  If I found myself having to do this on my own, on my current stache, I would probably opt to move to a MCOL.  I consider that an unlikely risk.

The 10% I added to my stache allows me to still hit my spending targets while carving out two earmarks.  Basically enough to fund 1 year of nursing home upgrades and 2 years of state school.  I'm continuing to save but I'm not tracking my budget or savings rate with any rigor.

Fulfillment
I've got some work to do here.  I'm no longer getting a thrill out of professional achievements and I've neglected my health, my connection to others, and my non-microsoft-office skills. 

  • Health.  Neglected.
  • Relationship.  Good but on autopilot.
  • Family. Got some focus this year.
  • Friends. Got some focus this year.
  • Job. Most achievements are here.

In short, I'm dissatisfied.  Dissatisfaction has been one of the defining characteristics of my life.  This dissatisfaction has motivated me to accomplish a lot.  But as a recurring theme I have to wonder if, in some circumstances, it may be dysfunctional. 

Am I There Yet?
And so here I am.  One year later.  One year older.  Looking off the edge of a slightly higher cliff, and wondering, "What would happen if I jumped?" 

So Mustachians, what do you say?  Am I there yet?
« Last Edit: May 02, 2019, 11:51:12 PM by RetireAbroadAt35 »

RecoveringCarClown

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 122
  • Location: Northwest
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2019, 09:38:56 PM »
32x....Black Bartís cave, cliff divers, jump dammit jump!!

frugaldrummer

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 624
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2019, 10:23:42 PM »
Are you sure your SO is FI? Are they on board with FIRE? Are you sure they feel the same way about not having kids?

Also, have you considered transitioning to part-time work? Or would your SO consider moving to a LCOL area?

Things that concern me - your lifestyle in FIRE would be propped up a bit by SO's contributions. If you part ways could you maintain the same lifestyle? Would you be ok with that decline in lifestyle?


RetireAbroadAt35

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 222
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2019, 11:42:52 PM »
32x....Black Bartís cave, cliff divers, jump dammit jump!!
I reworked my spreadsheets to give me some stats.  I'll update the OP in amoment.

If I subtract my earmarks, then my annual mandatory expenses are 2.5% of my remaining NW.  If I don't subtract out my earmarks, then it's 2.1%.  That's basically the lowest amount I could flex down to.  By that measure, I have 49.6x my mandatory expenses.  Once I factor in my minimum planned discretionary spending and earmarks, I'm at 29.4x my planned expenses.  Discretionary spending is a bit tougher to predict as my expenses would change a fair bit with the change in lifestyle but this should be close.

Are you sure your SO is FI? Are they on board with FIRE? Are you sure they feel the same way about not having kids?
Yes, yes, and yes.

Quote
Also, have you considered transitioning to part-time work?
Part-time, no, but I could likely find a way to work independent contracts.  That would at least allow me breaks between gigs (if I turned down work).  That was the big decision I was trying to make last year.  In the end of I was seduced by GigaCorp, but upon separation I'd pursue contracts as part of my exit strategy.

Quote
Or would your SO consider moving to a LCOL area?
Nope. Too many local ties so that's not on the table.

Quote
Things that concern me - your lifestyle in FIRE would be propped up a bit by SO's contributions. If you part ways could you maintain the same lifestyle? Would you be ok with that decline in lifestyle?
If they got hit by a bus before we combined finances, I'd be in a bit of a pickle.  Moving to a MCOL area would mitigate that risk and probably improve my lifestyle to be honest. I'm not from around these parts and have no such attachments to the place.  I'm not worried about this.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2019, 12:34:33 AM by RetireAbroadAt35 »

One

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 215
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2019, 11:50:37 PM »
Instead of looking at the percentage of money gained working an extra year you should flip it and look at the percentage of future good years lost. One more year is 4% of the good years you have left, donít waste it working for the man.

RetireAbroadAt35

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 222
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2019, 12:00:31 AM »
That's been my philosophy.  It was pretty easy to maintain that mindset until a few years ago when I set out to improve my income.  I convinced the man to increase my pay by 70% but it did come with a cost.

It's like I suddenly got to 5,000' in my Cessna and realized how much more I could accomplish if I had a Boeing that flew at 35,000'. 

It's tempting, but I just don't think I can put in the time.

The funny thing is, when I first formalized my FIRE plans back in 2012 or so, I was confident I wouldn't be troubled by OMY.  Now that I'm here, and looking at opportunity cost, and weighing the value of time versus money, and adapting to life changes, it's much less clear.


stashing_it

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 130
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2019, 12:02:37 AM »
I'd recommend reading some of Malkynn's posts on this thread
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/continue-the-blog-conversation/how-to-slow-down-time/msg2301187/#msg2301187

But for your specific situation, my recommendation is more simple, don't crush it at work

Your options aren't only
1)  Put all your focus and energy on work and neglect health and other fun
2)  quit and go FI

you could also
3)  Coast.   Do your job, but make it lower priority than other things.  Take time to hit the gym, eat right, etc.   Stop doing any work outside of hours.

Maybe you'll get fired.   Maybe you'll find that if you start saying no to all the BS at work, you can focus on the important things and become more productive.   

If you get fired, who cares, that isn't any worse than option 2 which you are already considering, and if you are at Gigacorp won't happen for a year or more

One

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 215
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2019, 12:11:41 AM »
The man slapped the golden handcuffs on you.  Run donít walk.

RetireAbroadAt35

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 222
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2019, 12:31:09 AM »
you could also
3)  Coast.   Do your job, but make it lower priority than other things.  Take time to hit the gym, eat right, etc.   Stop doing any work outside of hours.
Well, coasting isn't going to work. There are too many people that I care just enough about who would be impacted by my total fucking off.  Plus getting fired would impact my reputation and ability to do contracts in the future.  It's a small world.

But there is some truth in this.

I had intended during my victory lap at GigaCorp, to establish a manageable balance and keep to it. Things are much better now, I'm not an exhausted angry ball of stress anymore, but I failed to establish a routine of healthy eating and exercise.

So the next incremental step in the plan would be to FIRE my way off the hamster wheel and look for part-time/contract employment to fill my fun fund.

The man slapped the golden handcuffs on you.  Run donít walk.
Kinda, yeah.  The pay is good.  The only real obligation is a small signing bonus I'd have to pay back if I bail.  So more like golden blinders than golden handcuffs.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2019, 12:45:38 AM by RetireAbroadAt35 »

RetireAbroadAt35

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 222
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2019, 09:54:57 AM »
I'd recommend reading some of Malkynn's posts on this thread
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/continue-the-blog-conversation/how-to-slow-down-time/msg2301187/#msg2301187

After reading that thread, I realize now that I've been pushing things balls to the wall for a couple of months now.  The pressure came on at work and I shouldered the load without thinking about it. Now I'm starting to feel the effects of overwork again. Good reminder.

RetireAbroadAt35

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 222
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2019, 08:52:59 AM »
Son of a .... I think they got me figured out.

If Youíre So Successful, Why Are You Still Working 70 Hours a Week?

https://hbr.org/2018/02/if-youre-so-successful-why-are-you-still-working-70-hours-a-week

Quote
A professionalís insecurity is rooted in the inherent intangibility of knowledge work. How do you convince your client that you know something worthwhile and justify the high fees you charge? The insecurity caused by this intangibility is exacerbated by the rigorous ďup or outĒ promotion system perpetuated by elite professional organizations, which turns your colleagues into your competitors.

...

Exacerbating this problem, elite professional organizations deliberately set out to identify and recruit ďinsecure overachieversĒ ó some leading professional organizations explicitly use this terminology, though not in public. 

I don't think this is limited to "elite" organizations.  But it resonates.  I spent my formative fulltime work years in a place like that.

use2betrix

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1549
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2019, 12:15:50 PM »
When I read your comments about your job, it resonated a lot with my own personal experiences. Iím great at what I do and very successful, but Iím often not that passionate about it. My current project, which I started last summer, is one of the better jobs in terms of enjoyment of my technical responsibilities.

That being said, the biggest thing that stuck out to me here was the neglecting of your health. Can you elaborate more on this? Are you not exercising? Gaining wait? Eating poorly? Drinking more?

To me - this can be a major make/break in terms of happiness that can directly relate to work. If I donít get my exercise in, I notice my fuse gets much shorter at work. My energy is lower. Iím generally just more unhappy. When my diet starts slipping some I notice similar effects.

RetireAbroadAt35

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 222
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2019, 02:09:40 PM »
That being said, the biggest thing that stuck out to me here was the neglecting of your health. Can you elaborate more on this? Are you not exercising? Gaining wait? Eating poorly? Drinking more?
Ding ding ding ding

These are the outward signs that I've lost my way. 

Quote
To me - this can be a major make/break in terms of happiness that can directly relate to work. If I donít get my exercise in, I notice my fuse gets much shorter at work. My energy is lower. Iím generally just more unhappy. When my diet starts slipping some I notice similar effects.
I'm sure it's a factor.  There's a vicious feedback loop at play.  I manage that stuff pretty well when I have enough spare mental processing power to make good decisions in the moment.  If I really had my overall life balance down, there would be a routine that eliminated the need to make good decisions in the moment. 

I find this to be tough to manage. In particular the exercise. In one of my recent pushes towards improved health, I started a gym routine.  For 6 months I was up at 5AM 3x a week at a fitness class, balanced cardio and weights. 

For 6 months I was tired and everything hurt. 

I feel like I'm talking to an alien from another planet when someone tells me that exercising improves their energy levels.

mspym

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1660
  • Location: Downunder
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2019, 02:58:38 PM »
I am not surprised about the exercise. It is a good stress but still a stress and your body can only handle so much total stress. If that is all taken up by work, exercise will only add to it not decrease it. When I have been in this space, I look for options that are very low key but will still yield benefits. I go for a quick walk in the open air at lunch. I take a slightly longer bike commute home. Low-key exercise outside seems to be very good for the brain - my old MegaCorp was really keen on the 'walk and talk' meeting and while it feel silly to start with, I came to appreciate it

What really worked for me though was going contract. I just finished a summer off where I slept and pottered and did my personal projects until I was recharged and excited to go back to work. But you? You are FI and still trading your health to increase your hoard. Why? What is holding you there? Ego? The title? Fear? Why not do some contracts and use this to ease your way out of corporate life?

RetireAbroadAt35

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 222
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2019, 05:10:15 PM »
What really worked for me though was going contract. I just finished a summer off where I slept and pottered and did my personal projects until I was recharged and excited to go back to work.
Now you're speaking my language.  I've taken a few sabbaticals and felt similarly recharged.

Quote
But you? You are FI and still trading your health to increase your hoard. Why? What is holding you there? Ego? The title? Fear? Why not do some contracts and use this to ease your way out of corporate life?
Good questions.  And perhaps this is where I wonder if I could get the phone number for Dr. Doom's therapist.

I really don't believe it is an ego/title thing. I tend to reject those aspects of the work, even declining to pursue the next promotion.  When I see up or out, I just want out.

What drives my OMY syndrome?  The link I posted above really made sense to me.  My photo is probably in the book on insecure overachievers. Why not shed that and move on?  I think it comes down to:

  • Ageism.  This is a big deal in my industry, so I treat it like a now or never situation.
  • Empathy. I'm worried about some people close to me, including my parents. I keep thinking that if I just work a little harder, everyone around me will be ok.
  • Independence. I moved to a HCOL area, making me dependent on my SO to cover the bills. Our relationship is solid but still growing. I don't want my RE to impact her FI.
  • Envy. Some of my peers and superiors seem to have it all. Ridiculous incomes. Work-life balance. Family.  Hobbies. Travel. I haven't cracked that nut and am beginning to think it's a farce. Still, I can't help but wonder if FIREing from GigaCorp is a failure to take advantage of all that I could achieve.

To your note about contracts, I thought about this last year.  In the end I decided to leave MegaCorp and join GigaCorp instead.  Worst case I'd build up contacts to do contract work.  Now I'm re-evaluating, after my year of GigaCorp. 

Is now the time to try and do contract work cover living expenses and my retirement projects? 

  • If I RE now, I have to come to grips with the fears above.
  • If I continue trying to maximize my earnings, I could do a number of really positive things for friends/family/strangers with the proceeds. Or die trying.
  • If I take the middle ground and work contracts, I could cut the stress, take care of myself, and pursue the things I'm passionate about.

If I can't make #2 just a little bit easier, then I think I should go for #3 before I'm forced by spontaneous cardiac explosion to do #1.

use2betrix

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1549
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #15 on: May 10, 2019, 05:09:58 PM »
Reading your post, if you moved to HCOL and need your SOís income to cover your living expenses, I absolutely would not consider you FI and would suggest against RE. Unless, of course, there was a honest, lengthy discussion and agreement.

I work as a contractor and love it. Iíve taken a couple, 4 month sabbaticals in between projects. My last one ended in November 2017, and Iíve been working non-stop since then. My current contract looks like itíll stretch out to at least summer 2021. Iím sooooo ready for another sabbatical, but they are paying me so insanely well that I canít turn it down right now. Each month I work, I basically save 3 months worth of living expenses. Thatís a lot of sabbatical months saving up very fast!

When returning from my last sabbatical, it was amazing how productive and energized I was.

FatFI2025

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 135
  • Location: California
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #16 on: May 11, 2019, 12:56:10 PM »
  • Ageism.  This is a big deal in my industry, so I treat it like a now or never situation.
  • Empathy. I'm worried about some people close to me, including my parents. I keep thinking that if I just work a little harder, everyone around me will be ok.
  • Independence. I moved to a HCOL area, making me dependent on my SO to cover the bills. Our relationship is solid but still growing. I don't want my RE to impact her FI.
  • Envy. Some of my peers and superiors seem to have it all. Ridiculous incomes. Work-life balance. Family.  Hobbies. Travel. I haven't cracked that nut and am beginning to think it's a farce. Still, I can't help but wonder if FIREing from GigaCorp is a failure to take advantage of all that I could achieve.
As many early retirees point out, retiring early has an underwhelming effect on happiness. It's doubtful that RE by itself would make any real improvement on these concerns and, in fact, could make them worse.

Finding this thread highly relatable, I like the idea of shifting to contract work. Maybe you would do better with short sprints interspersed with long sabbaticals.

Even setting out a plan could ease your mind -- the scary part will be executing. Set a goal of quitting after your bonus. Let your corp know that you love working with them but just need an extended break to recharge and that you would be willing to come back on a contract basis after X amount of time.

Then commit to doing something not work related for whatever amount of time you think would work for you. After that time is up, reach back out to your network and see what you can arrange.

If you keep planning for all of these financial *wants,* even if they're selfless, then you'll never RE. Time to make a change.



We be free if we try

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 36
  • Location: Bay Area
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #17 on: May 12, 2019, 09:33:13 AM »
Iím hearing that you have the money and the ability to stop and recalibrate your life on your own terms. Iím also hearing that whatís stopping you is fear - that from your own admission comes from a vague feeling of insecurity - probably from beliefs formed early in life, that donít need to control your behavior any more. A good therapist or life coach can probably help you feel through whatís holding you back. Comparing your inside feelings to othersí ďperfectĒ exteriors is both false and creating unrealistic expectations. It really is possible to change your feelings of  insecurity - I know because Iíve done it, though through a lot of hard, grieving, work. But then you get to live your life on your terms. Best wishes!

RetireAbroadAt35

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 222
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #18 on: May 13, 2019, 09:00:51 PM »
Reading your post, if you moved to HCOL and need your SOís income to cover your living expenses
No no, not mine.  I cover my half of everything, with enough left over for fun and keeping up the savings rate.  If I were to RE, I'd give up the savings and still have enough to cover my share of mandatory & discretionary expenses.  It's like fire with a small "f".  I only mention this topic because if the SO were to run off to Morocco with a tall dark stranger, I'd be at risk of not being able to cover 100% of the current expenses of the HCOL area on my own.  If I moved to MCOL, then I'd be FIRE with a big "F" and be truly independent, which is my mitigation to that risk.

Quote
When returning from my last sabbatical, it was amazing how productive and energized I was.
This was my experience too.  I mean, the work still wasn't all that great, but man was it refreshing.

As many early retirees point out, retiring early has an underwhelming effect on happiness. It's doubtful that RE by itself would make any real improvement on these concerns and, in fact, could make them worse.
Fair warning.  One must have their mindset in order.  I'm not worried about this in general - I took a couple trial runs (sabbaticals) and I found that while not working isn't a panacea for one's ills or a form of instant-fullfillment, it is amazing what one can accomplish if the mind isn't shackled by 101 million work-related preoccupations.  That said, I did struggle a bit with the self-assigned guilt that came with screwing off and not using my earning potential.  It was minor and manageable and not altogether surprising.

Quote
Finding this thread highly relatable, I like the idea of shifting to contract work. Maybe you would do better with short sprints interspersed with long sabbaticals.
That's the dream right there.  If I could work part-year, I could fill the rest of the time with a number of endeavors and be happy filling my free time that way.

Quote
Even setting out a plan could ease your mind -- the scary part will be executing. Set a goal of quitting after your bonus. Let your corp know that you love working with them but just need an extended break to recharge and that you would be willing to come back on a contract basis after X amount of time.
That's pretty much what I want to tell them.  Partially I'm wavering a bit because I haven't been at GigaCorp too long. I'll have to be careful with the message.

Quote
Then commit to doing something not work related for whatever amount of time you think would work for you. After that time is up, reach back out to your network and see what you can arrange.
I have a badass project in mind.  It'll take about 2 years to complete and it won't earn a penny.  Unfortunately it would mostly preclude me from taking paid contracts too, so as you can see I have some things to deconflict.

Quote
If you keep planning for all of these financial *wants,* even if they're selfless, then you'll never RE. Time to make a change.
It's true. And part of my angst does come from not giving myself permission to claim my reward. 

Iím hearing that you have the money and the ability to stop and recalibrate your life on your own terms. Iím also hearing that whatís stopping you is fear - that from your own admission comes from a vague feeling of insecurity - probably from beliefs formed early in life, that donít need to control your behavior any more.
Ehhh, maybe kinda.  I mean I can stop and recalibrate. It's just that going all-in is kind of momentous.  When I step off this gravy train, there won't be any getting back on.  It's a lot to weigh.

That said my over-developed sense of responsibility certainly doesn't help :)

FatFI2025

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 135
  • Location: California
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #19 on: May 18, 2019, 11:14:13 AM »
Quote
Even setting out a plan could ease your mind -- the scary part will be executing. Set a goal of quitting after your bonus. Let your corp know that you love working with them but just need an extended break to recharge and that you would be willing to come back on a contract basis after X amount of time.
That's pretty much what I want to tell them.  Partially I'm wavering a bit because I haven't been at GigaCorp too long. I'll have to be careful with the message.
Yes definitely. I didn't mean that you would plan to leave Gigacorp in 12 months and tell the company now. If you think you need to stay for two years total and you're only at a year now, then wait to tell them when you give notice.

In my experience you can't ask "can I take a leave of absence and then switch to contract work?" The answer will always be "no" because that would be bad for Gigacorp. If you give notice on good terms and then say "I just really need a break, but after six months I think I'll be ready for contract work ," it's still bad for Gigacorp but it's a different decision for them to make. There's risk that they won't contract you but the whole point of FI is that the risk is no big deal.

nyfireguy

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 41
Re: Am I there yet? One more year ... year ... year ... year ... year?
« Reply #20 on: May 21, 2019, 08:23:35 AM »

Iím hearing that you have the money and the ability to stop and recalibrate your life on your own terms. Iím also hearing that whatís stopping you is fear - that from your own admission comes from a vague feeling of insecurity - probably from beliefs formed early in life, that donít need to control your behavior any more.
Ehhh, maybe kinda.  I mean I can stop and recalibrate. It's just that going all-in is kind of momentous.  When I step off this gravy train, there won't be any getting back on.  It's a lot to weigh.

That said my over-developed sense of responsibility certainly doesn't help :)

RetireAbroadAt35.. I, like some others, can totally relate to this thread and I've read it all and your responses as well. I think, or at least for me as an outsider that can relate, it all comes down to "over-developed sense of responsibility".

I say this because I think it's been my problem as well and as I read through your thread I thought about all the responses to the responses I'd have, if I was you, and yours were pretty close. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you view it) I don't have a SO outside of that we are in similar boats with my biggest concern being health care.

With all that said I recently (like a week ago) resigned my position because over the last 1-2yrs I have had some health issues and some of them were definitely work/stress related while others were physical (needed surgery) and being as unhappy as I was at work, for many of the reasons you seem to be, I finally thought, why am I doing all this, what's it all for and why do I have this "over-developed sense of responsibility" so maybe it's time for a break. Honestly I think I was/maybe am depressed because although I've done well, you apparently have too, I just can't find the overall happiness I thought I'd have with work, life, etc right now; basically it's a depression of sorts.


I don't have a 2 year project to keep me busy and I am already getting calls about jobs, I am not sure what I want to do or if I can really afford to RE but what I do know, especially after reading a lot of this forum, is I couldn't keep going the way I was. Outsider looking in I'd say if you can move on do it but like yourself I believed if I stay off the gravy train I am not sure I can get back on and it all probably stems from "over-developed sense of responsibility"

I'll be following your thread for sure.. feel free to msg me as well. BTW where are you thinking you're going to retire abroad (I think about this all the time)?