Author Topic: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job  (Read 14730 times)

i983605

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Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« on: November 18, 2015, 03:00:24 PM »
I am a frequent MMM reader but posting this one anonymously. I need a few non-biased opinions on how to proceed here.

Backstory
As a child I fantasized about a career in Finance owning my own company, making my own decisions, controlling money, just generally kicking ass. Seriously, I didn't want to be batman. I was on track to a degree in finance when I ran into High School internship in IT. 10 years later I am working in the same company, doing the same thingÖevery single day.

Current Financial Situation
Married
Age = 27
Income = 120k after 401k match
Networth Inclusive of Home Equity = 350k
Own a 2009 Honda Fit free and clear.
No debt
I live in a high cost of living area but own a 2 family house and rent one side furnished. I lived for free in 2015.

 Problem
At the age of 12 I told my family that I would make $150k a year one day. My single mother had never made more than minimum wage. Everyone laughed at me. This year, including rental income, I will hit the $150k. I've accomplished my life long financial goal at 27. I donít feel any sense of pride from this. I just feel trapped. Every raise is just another click on the golden handcuffs.
Everyone praises me for accomplishing so much at 27 Ė graduated college, own a house, married, make 6 figures, no student debt, rated top 20% at work for 5 years etcÖ. But I donít feel the same way.

-I feel that I have half assed my way through an IT career that I never wanted.
-I feel that Iím alive, but not living.
-I feel that money is pointless, I feel just as crappy at 350k net worth as I did at 100k
-I feel Iíve spent my entire youth working this job and it has limited my potential significantly. I truly believe I can accomplish great things if I do what I love. I just donít know what it is I love to do.
-I feel afraid of the world. This one started after I was forced to work from home to cut real estate costs.

Am I Nuts?
I dream everyday of getting fired. I dream of everything I could accomplish when I get thrown out of my comfort zone. Spend time learning to dance, swim, box, and building the company I always dreamed of having.
I dream of happily living under a bridge as long as I donít have to spend another minute of my life caring about a pointless work assignment.
I am seriously considering quitting.  But,
   -My job is as easy as it is boring.
   -My boss has turned into a close friend.
   - I use to work long hours but now I work 30 hours a week from home.

Iíve been feeling this way for at least 4 years, but Iíve kept reminding myself of the relatively easy money Iím bringing it. I just donít know if I can keep my sanity any more.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2015, 03:05:50 PM by i983605 »

Orvell

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2015, 03:07:08 PM »
What are your goals? And I mean that outside of work. I didn't see any aspirations, hobbies, or plans outside of the money side of things.
That seems like a major potential cause of some of this frustration.

You want to quit, and it sounds like you could take some time off for a few months and try different types of employment. Do you like being a landlord? Could you do that f/t? You're a MMM reader so you likely know that there are more options out there than standard 9-5.

I don't have any answers, but it sounds to me like you need to set some non-money related goals for yourself. Try new things! Take some dancing classes with your spouse in the evening, learn to knit, try building robots.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2015, 03:18:31 PM by Orvell »

partgypsy

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2015, 03:09:26 PM »
If you are truly working 30 hours a week from home, that is PLENTY of time to do what you WANT the rest of the time. Pretend, if you didn't have to work for a living, what would you be doing? And do it on your free time. Who knows you may be so motivated and charged up you either a) won't mind the 30 hours or so you do work your regular job because the rest of your life is so kick ass, or b) you become so successful at your passion, you can evolve to do that full time.
 

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2015, 03:10:48 PM »
I think this is about a lot more than work. Have you read about the "quarter life crisis"? You're starting to move up Maslow's hierarchy of needs- now that the survival, "what" type questions are answered, now you are asking "why"? And I think you don't have an answer yet, and that is what is really eating at you.

Why are you alive? What do you want to achieve? What is your purpose? What will make your life a success, vs a failure?

I think you need to find answers that give you meaning. Right now, you're frustrating work isn't giving that to you, but you're also not looking around at everything else, too.

Mother Fussbudget

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2015, 03:16:17 PM »
You want to quit, and it sounds like you could take some time off for a few months and try different types of employment. Do you like being a landlord? Could you do that f/t? You're a MMM reader so you likely know that there are more options out there than standard 9-5.

I don't have any answers, but it sounds to me like you need to set some non-money related goals for yourself. Try new things! Take some dancing classes with your wife in the evening, learn to knit, try building robots.
Take some TIME OFF.  Ask your manager for a sabbatical, but BEFORE you do that, research it.  Go to the library and pick up a copy of "Six Months Off" by Hope Dlugozima et. al. (often called 'The Sabbatical Book').  The book is a bit older, so there aren't great web links, but the concepts, ideas, and strategies outlined are as relevant today as ever.  The bookís just as helpful and inspiring today, and most of the resources can be found online quite easily.

Be sure to include your spouse in these discussions.  Statistics show that when people come back to work from a sabbatical, 80% of them move on to another job and/or career within 9 months.  BUT... sometimes the same thing happens in the sabbatical-taker's relationships - often people who decide to change their career and 'follow their bliss' find their spouse doesn't share the same goals.  Try to be in LOCK STEP with your SO on this discussion from the start. 
« Last Edit: November 18, 2015, 03:19:48 PM by Mother Fussbudget »

Mr. Green

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2015, 03:24:15 PM »
Unfortunately, no one but you can know just how important building that stash is compared to getting fulfillment from what you do. Is changing careers worth a setback to you? Would you consider doing what you're doing until you feel like you're close to FIRE, and then change careers? If you were financially independent would you want to keep working or do you want to "retire" and do whatever you wanted to get into? Those are tough questions to answer and vary from person to person.

I have the golden handcuffs thing going on too and for me it's worth hanging on just a little bit longer to get to FIRE so I can do what I want. There are plenty of days when I question if I'm doing the right thing, and for some folks that alone would be enough for them to bail, because life is short. However, I think that my plan is the best plan for my family and our goals in the long run. It sucks that no one can answer this for you because it seems so hard, sometimes I wish someone could give me the answer too.

One thing you should remind yourself though is that it looks like you are in a great financial position currently and that's worth a lot. When I get all caught up in "should I, this? I don't want to work, that." I forget about the solid foundation I'm already standing on and when I do remember it it provides an element of peace because if I really have to I can make changes and know I'll be okay.

Best of luck with your dilemma!

use2betrix

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2015, 03:27:12 PM »
What do you want to do? Different career? More work? Harder work?

Maybe start looking for other job opportunities. More challenging and more money. I have had jobs where I've made 150k and while I'm at "work" 50 hrs a week, I may only do 15 hrs of actual work, yet still have all my bases covered and look like a champ and always on the ball. It'd get old surfing the net in the office that long.

The difference is, you're at home. Why not pick up a side job or whatever. So many options yet you really aren't saying much in your post. Really not that hard of a decision

If you aren't happy. Make changes. Not rocket science. No one else knows what will make you happy.

Orvell

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2015, 03:28:47 PM »
You want to quit, and it sounds like you could take some time off for a few months and try different types of employment. Do you like being a landlord? Could you do that f/t? You're a MMM reader so you likely know that there are more options out there than standard 9-5.

I don't have any answers, but it sounds to me like you need to set some non-money related goals for yourself. Try new things! Take some dancing classes with your wife in the evening, learn to knit, try building robots.
Take some TIME OFF.  Ask your manager for a sabbatical, but BEFORE you do that, research it.  Go to the library and pick up a copy of "Six Months Off" by Hope Dlugozima et. al. (often called 'The Sabbatical Book').  The book is a bit older, so there aren't great web links, but the concepts, ideas, and strategies outlined are as relevant today as ever.  The bookís just as helpful and inspiring today, and most of the resources can be found online quite easily.

Be sure to include your spouse in these discussions.  Statistics show that when people come back to work from a sabbatical, 80% of them move on to another job and/or career within 9 months.  BUT... sometimes the same thing happens in the sabbatical-taker's relationships - often people who decide to change their career and 'follow their bliss' find their spouse doesn't share the same goals.  Try to be in LOCK STEP with your SO on this discussion from the start.
I meant to talk about this too.
You mentioned that you are married, but not how/if your SO contributes to your combined stash. Is it possible to live off of their earnings + rental income for a period of time without touching your savings?
What do they think about all this, and have you two talked about it? Are they also feeling unfulfilled? Not saying your decisions should be dictated by another, but being in tandem and part of a team is a great thing. :)

opnfld

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2015, 04:23:11 PM »
I have similar feelings, but like Mr. Green am so close to FIRE that I just hang on.  This has been my mode for 3+ years.  However, I am 40.  If I were 27 I would certainly make a change.  The pattern in my 20's was to try anything and burn bridges behind me.  It was an exciting time, but not financially successful.  The stolid period in my 30's was conducive to saving, having kids, and achieving FI.  And that has been okay, because I had already made my attempts.  Had I not, the boredom at work would have been difficult to justify.

...of course, someone is bound to suggest you seek professional treatment for depression.  I have no experience with that.  Altered states of consciousness have helped me consider new possibilities.

Letj

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2015, 04:33:41 PM »
This is very normal. I went through the same self examination and dissatisfaction in my late 20s right up until I turned 36. A change in scenery and a more relaxed lifestyle changed that feeling. Now as I get closer to FIRE and quitting I am again dissatisfied. Luckily I should have no more than two more years befor I can call it quit.

Cwadda

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2015, 04:41:43 PM »
If you work 30 hours per week from home, and that's 6 hours per day, what are you doing with the rest of your time?

humbleMouse

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2015, 04:43:22 PM »
30 hours a week working from home seems like a cake walk to me.  There is plenty of time to figure out what you like doing if those are actually your hours.  Make electronic music at your house during the day when there isn't much work to do?  Learn an instrument?  Get better at cooking?  Workout?  <-- these are all things you could be doing on your employer's dime during the day. 

I totally have sympathy because I also work a boring easy IT job.  However, I don't have the extreme luxury of working from home.  Rare days I do get to work from home it feels like pure bliss.  If I got to work from home every day and only 30hrs a week I think my head would explode from sheer joy. 

The grass is always greener!

i983605

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2015, 05:39:15 PM »
I appreciate everyone's response. They have definitely given me some guidance on what to ponder/focus my attention on.

To clarify a few items
-The 30 hours I mentioned was actual work time. I have to sit on another 15 to 20 hours of conference calls a week where I end up just mindlessly surfing the web. In total it's around 50 hours of butt in seat time. Additionally, the title of my post probably should have read boring rather then easy. I provide support for an application and manage a team of 16 India based consultants as part of that- essentially, I get to listen to 100 users complain all day.

-In terms of what I do with my free time - right now, I think about how much I hate my job, hang out with family or the wife, a bit of tv after work, read too many financial blogs and listen to too many real estate podcasts. I use to exercise alot but have toned it down a bit - i'm still redic skinny but I felt much better when I was waking up at 5am to workout. I probably should have time to work on the things I want to pursue but I feel drained after work. On the other hand I am unsure if i'm just using that as an excuse.

-The income I mention is just from my end. My wife, also college graduate, is starting out as a Real Estate agent. She has reinvested all earnings thus far. I am actually hoping this picks up and then I can handle the management side of it for her + our rental(s). She use to make 40k a year at her previous job.

-My wife is fine with whatever I decide, even the living under a bridge option. I believe her. She is just tired of listening to me complain all the time.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2015, 05:40:56 PM by i983605 »

pbkmaine

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2015, 05:49:31 PM »
If you love math and finance, look into the Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) designation. Google it. You could study while on those endless conference calls. Your IT background would be a plus.


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human

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2015, 06:23:46 PM »
Read this: http://markmanson.net/passion

I found about that guy's blog through this site. Just how close are you to FIRE? do you have kids? What exactly is this Finance company you want to create? Do you have a business plan?

I'm 37 in a job I don't particularly love but nowhere near your net worth. At ten years older it's easy for me to say tough it out and save to FIRE in 5-10 years but I'll say it anyway. Find something you love to do outside of working hours and treat the job as a means to do that full time one day. Not everyone loves their job, some people are just not wired that way. Personally when I meet someone who says they love their job I ask all kinds of questions and then think to myself, "oh I get it this person drank the kool-aid". I could be warren buffet/brad pitt and superman all at once and I would probably still hate working. This of course may not apply to you.

You seem to want to take risks to build some kind of empire, couldn't you look into this in your off hours or weekends? Not sure if it's something that needs a professional designation or not but maybe work towards that in your spare time . . .

john c

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #15 on: November 18, 2015, 06:35:26 PM »
This is common amongst folks who grew up poor.  You struggle so hard to "make it", thinking that it's the end-all/be-all of life, and it's just as dull and unsatisfying as being poor.  "Rich" folks have just as many worries and problems as poor folks (just not as acute).  The saying goes, "Mo money, mo problems".

Real happiness comes from connection with people.  It's tough when you're working 50 hours per week, and are not naturally extroverted.  But joining a bowling league, church, etc will help you immensely.  Otherwise, you're just floating.

I felt the same way for the last 10 years, until I engineered an exit from my company with a large severance earlier this year.  I knew I didn't want to stay there, but the money/effort was too good.  So I started working 7 years ago on an exit plan, which in my case was to get a certification and start a business in a field that I enjoyed.  I had just passed a milestone when the opportunity came to leave my company.  I now work 10x as hard for .7 the money, but I love it!  My business is growing, and next year I expect to surpass my old salary plus benefits.

Tom Bri

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #16 on: November 18, 2015, 06:45:55 PM »
Consider going back to school? Maybe a radical change in career direction. I did that the last two years, went to nursing school and just graduated last month. BIG change.

zinethstache

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #17 on: November 18, 2015, 06:54:57 PM »
You mention your wife breaking into real estate and the possibility of you managing the rentals. My DH did exactly that. He HATED his job. He was a Journeyman Commercial Electrician Foreman. In charge of very large jobs spanning years. He HATED IT! So, we made a business plan, my income was plenty for us and I like my job. So fast forward 4 years and now we have our small fleet of rentals, that passive rental income now covers our living expenses and we are planning my exit strategy. He is SOOOO much happier now. It likely was a life saver for him. He takes much better care of himself, all our properties and takes pride in what he does.

I think you should consider RE. Not sure if your location is viable for that. I took advantage of the last slump in our area and now that slump is over. We want one more property next year before I RE and that is not going to be an easy task.

I look forward to reading your plans and how it works out.

Rubyist

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #18 on: November 18, 2015, 06:57:51 PM »
In total it's around 50 hours of butt in seat time. [...] I use to exercise alot but have toned it down a bit - i'm still redic skinny but I felt much better when I was waking up at 5am to workout.

I know this isn't the kind of advice you were looking for, but it sounds like the sedentary nature of your job is adding to your burnout. Have you thought about finding ways to get more movement throughout your day? It could be physically and psychologically invigorating. This video is a good demonstration of a "dynamic workstation". This concept improves on the idea of a standing desk--instead of replacing sitting still all day with standing still all day, the goal is to move frequently. Adopting this approach isn't going to solve all your problems, but it may make you a lot happier with your job.

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #19 on: November 18, 2015, 08:15:42 PM »
Do you have kids?

Westoftown

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #20 on: November 18, 2015, 09:04:40 PM »
Well you need to come up with a plan or else you'll be 48 and in the same situation, which is where I am.  Let me tell you that adding $ to your spreadsheet balance doesnt help really, unless you have a plan.  Its really hard to quit a decent job.

Once I quit a six figure job outright without a plan, hoping to force myself into something more fulfilling.  Since I didnt have a great plan for how to make that happen, I ended up in a similar job to the one I quit within a few months.  When I was between jobs a couple of times was actually my most happy times.

My hope right now is to take advantage of an upcoming layoff and then spend some time decompressing.  Quite honestly my problem is that I dont really want to do anything else.  I like free time, reading, gardening, and exercising on my own schedule. 

Good luck!

Fuzz

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #21 on: November 18, 2015, 09:06:18 PM »
Related thought: at this point in our culture, everyone wants to be an entrepreneur. It's glamorized. If you spend your time reading finance and self-development blogs (I'm guilty too), then you'll encounter a lot of cheerleading about how being your own boss is the one true way to live. It's not.

Just be aware that the grass is always greener.

As other folks point out, if your dream is to start a biz, you have plenty of time to do that on the side. Even your day job really is 50 hours/week of butt time.

You're young and in great shape financially. You could stick it out and be FI in your early 30s. Or you could take the jump now, and potentially not make any retirement contributions for 10 years, but do something really neat. If you didn't save at all for 10 years, you'd still be in better than average shape. Both are good options.

I'd caution you against dumping your savings into your business or education. Bootstrap my friend!

Freedomin5

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #22 on: November 18, 2015, 09:23:24 PM »
I think the folks who commented on "burnout" and "quarter life crisis" may be in the right track. Also, working in customer service (essentially listening to client complaints all day) is not the most invigorating job.

I work on a regular basis with folks who are burned out by their jobs. It really is about getting back to your roots and figuring what makes you tick. If you didn't have to worry about money or bills or making a living, what would you want or choose to do with your time? What kinds of things are you willing to do for free even now? Think back to before you started working; what activities did you find exciting? Those kinds of questions will hopefully help you discover your passions beyond "making six figures". Money should be a means to an end; it should not be an end in and of itself.

mxt0133

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #23 on: November 18, 2015, 10:01:01 PM »
Hey where did Cathy's post go?  That was a gem.  I finally figured out who she reminds me of when I read her comments, Seven of Nine from Voyager.  Just the right tone of cyborg with some human mixed in.

But back to the OP's dilemma, take solace in that you are not alone and that is why there is a whole industry out there of self-help books that address this exact problem.  When people are so focused on a goal and miss the journey, they eventually get to their destination and feel so disappointed and empty, believe me I know.  I am slowly learning to not worry about the result but how I go about achieving my goals.  No matter what I set out to do I am trying to learn to focus on the now and not be so obsessed with the end goal.  Because as I have learn when all I do is focus on the goal I miss the now and when I achieve my goal it is never good enough so I focus on the next thing, again and again.  If I continue down that path then I would have not really lived a meaningful life because I am always looking to do the next thing and not actually enjoying the journey.

As it relates to my FI journey, yes I still have a magic number but I am really having fun with trying to minimize my expenses and discovering what I really value even if it does cost money.  Whether I achieve my FI number or not is not really as important to me as knowing I have done my best learn and grow.  If something happened that would make it impossible for me to reach my number, then I would be OK with it knowing that I did my best and enjoyed the journey by learning and growing.

Schaefer Light

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #24 on: November 19, 2015, 08:05:28 AM »
I don't think that's nuts at all.  You can hate any job...no matter how easy and high-paying it may be.  I've done a lot of soul-searching over the past couple of years, and I've come to the realization that I'm probably not going to like any job.  So I'd say just go with whichever job option sucks the least, and try to have fun outside of work.

Matumba

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #25 on: November 19, 2015, 08:34:39 AM »
Yes,  you are nuts.  Or probably just depressed.

You seem to have no idea what real struggling is like.

You are just another entitled first world person having first world problems.

Nothing wrong with that,  just find a first world solution,  like antidepressants.

StetsTerhune

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #26 on: November 19, 2015, 08:49:48 AM »
Have you thought about finding ways to get more movement throughout your day?

Yes, especially if you're on 15-20 hours a week of conference calls. I've started playing hacky sack during my conference calls instead of surfing the web. It's made a HUGE difference in how I feel at the end of a call.

It's always seemed to me like the most depressed I can get is right after all my dreams have come true. Dreams are the carrots dragging us through life and it's very hard (for me) to go on without them. You need a new star to follow. Money isn't the goal in and of itself that it once was for you. That's a good thing, but that means you need a new goal. As others have said, figure out what you want. What you really want.

Fishindude

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #27 on: November 19, 2015, 08:56:08 AM »
Sounds like a great situation to be in.

This country sorely needs more entrepreneurs.  Save a buttload of money up, quit and get your own business going, or get something going on the side while still employed and phase into it.   It's risky, but self employment is probably the best way to get seriously wealthy.  You can do OK, but will rarely will you get to the FU money level working for the other guy.

sixup

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #28 on: November 19, 2015, 09:05:16 AM »
I'd give another vote to start business on the side. You could be FIRE in 5 years and by that time the business could take off or at least give you some extra fun money.

Plus the side business can give you something to do that will be more fulfilling than watching tv and reading blogs.

Killerbrandt

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #29 on: November 19, 2015, 09:20:58 AM »
Wow!! Are you me right now? I am in the exact same spot, well almost, you are doing a little bit better. I make a combined income of 100k, both age 27, 450k net worth, no debt, and fully paid off house (also low cost of living). I was feeling the exact same thing as you. However, I got over it, because shoot!! I am super lucky to have what I have right now! I am now able to do more than 99 percent of my generation at age 27!! I learned to just suck it up at work and deal with it, its not a bad place overall, its just boring. I also still have tons of room for promotions, which will pretty much be handed to me. Also, my best friend is just starting his financial independence journey, which I am glad to help out with. It also helps that I can talk to him about all my financial stuff and not be judged for it. So instead of worrying about doing other things and being down on what you could have done or what not with your job, just enjoy the moments of security and freedom! I am concentrating more on my family and friends, which could disappear at any moment, also enjoying the rich history of my city and exploring new places.

It's easier said than done, but take advantage of what you have right now! Enjoy more time with your friends and family! Think of it as though you got to a position most take until their 50s to get to and you got it at 27!!!! You have so many more years now to enjoy the special things in life a lot more! Yeah the money side and job side got boring since you reached your goals, but there are so many other things you could do now that most are not able to.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2015, 09:24:06 AM by Killerbrandt »

TPGW

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #30 on: November 19, 2015, 09:51:04 AM »

You seem to have no idea what real struggling is like.


Dude grew up with a single mom who never made much more than minimum wage.  Think he has a fair idea of what real struggle is. 

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #31 on: November 19, 2015, 09:55:57 AM »
I hit a hard spot around the same time. I toughed it out.

Upon looking back on it a few things probably helped:

A non-optional position change about halfway through my career took quite a bit of stress off and shifted they type of work I did around a bit (but sadly, made it more monotonous).

Gave myself permission to indulge in a few hobbies.  May have gone a bit overboard, but it did help break up the monotony, the total cost was probably less than a month's worth of savings.

Both were only temporary motivators but I think they did help me make it to the last leg of the race, but the big one was probably when we bought a small farm.  There are no boring days when you own a farm!

Right about your age was also when our net worth started to take off like a rocket. The pace of growth was phenomenal.  Every 6-12 months, our net worth eclipsed another milestone.  Instead of the handcuffs tightening, I felt them loosening every month.  Compared to how hard we had worked before then, it almost seemed too easy at that point, I just needed a way to stay busy and let the stache grow.           

Still kills me to sit a desk every day, doing the same tasks over and over, and knowing that I am not performing to my potential.  The good news is that I don't think I have really lost anything in terms of my ambition or ability.  Heck, even if you work until you are 35-40, you will still have 3x+ more time to do what you want (and in your prime years) vs. the general population. 

Not saying this was the right thing to do, but it did work. 

Here is a video about one couple who decided to change course, I will be very interested to see how it works out for them:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOEvWOkGSIU
« Last Edit: November 19, 2015, 09:58:28 AM by So Close »

Bearded Man

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #32 on: November 19, 2015, 10:30:41 AM »
OP, I wanted to be something else too, but ended up in IT for the money. Don't regret it, as it's been very financially rewarding. But I think what you are feeling (I feel something similar) is just the routine of life. After a certain age, you just start going through the motions. I would say if your job is easy and you only hate it because you are bored, count your blessings, you could be slaving away at Burger King for minimum wage, with split days off, on the grave shift.

Yes, I've grown tired of my career too. I feel it is pointless, other than making me large amounts of money so I can retire early and be financially free. I'm having a "bad" day today, and I really don't want to work today, or the rest of the year, but I'm just chugging along, one step at a time, trying to make it as long as possible, for the money. I was inteding to retire at 40, in just over 6 more years. The plan started about 9-10 years ago. I'm now considering that I might just try to do 2 more years, relocate, downsize, and call it good. Do you have a plan?

Also, are you netting 30K in profits from your half rented duplex? Something seems off about the math. If you have a mortgage in a HCOL area, I find it surprising that only renting out half of your duplex gives you 30K a year in income after expenses...

« Last Edit: November 19, 2015, 10:33:08 AM by Bearded Man »

norabird

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #33 on: November 19, 2015, 10:37:14 AM »
There is no reason to feel chained to this job. Your financial situation perfectly places you to make a change. What type of change do you want--that is the real question.

purple monkey

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #34 on: November 19, 2015, 12:05:40 PM »
I am a frequent MMM reader but posting this one anonymously. I need a few non-biased opinions on how to proceed here.

Backstory
As a child I fantasized about a career in Finance owning my own company, making my own decisions, controlling money, just generally kicking ass. Seriously, I didn't want to be batman. I was on track to a degree in finance when I ran into High School internship in IT. 10 years later I am working in the same company, doing the same thingÖevery single day.

Current Financial Situation
Married
Age = 27
Income = 120k after 401k match
Networth Inclusive of Home Equity = 350k
Own a 2009 Honda Fit free and clear.
No debt
I live in a high cost of living area but own a 2 family house and rent one side furnished. I lived for free in 2015.

 Problem
At the age of 12 I told my family that I would make $150k a year one day. My single mother had never made more than minimum wage. Everyone laughed at me. This year, including rental income, I will hit the $150k. I've accomplished my life long financial goal at 27. I donít feel any sense of pride from this. I just feel trapped. Every raise is just another click on the golden handcuffs.
Everyone praises me for accomplishing so much at 27 Ė graduated college, own a house, married, make 6 figures, no student debt, rated top 20% at work for 5 years etcÖ. But I donít feel the same way.

-I feel that I have half assed my way through an IT career that I never wanted.
-I feel that Iím alive, but not living.
-I feel that money is pointless, I feel just as crappy at 350k net worth as I did at 100k
-I feel Iíve spent my entire youth working this job and it has limited my potential significantly. I truly believe I can accomplish great things if I do what I love. I just donít know what it is I love to do.
-I feel afraid of the world. This one started after I was forced to work from home to cut real estate costs.

Am I Nuts?
I dream everyday of getting fired. I dream of everything I could accomplish when I get thrown out of my comfort zone. Spend time learning to dance, swim, box, and building the company I always dreamed of having.
I dream of happily living under a bridge as long as I donít have to spend another minute of my life caring about a pointless work assignment.
I am seriously considering quitting.  But,
   -My job is as easy as it is boring.
   -My boss has turned into a close friend.
   - I use to work long hours but now I work 30 hours a week from home.

Iíve been feeling this way for at least 4 years, but Iíve kept reminding myself of the relatively easy money Iím bringing it. I just donít know if I can keep my sanity any more.

Not nuts.  If you can, at all, try to each day focus on ONE thing that has made you happy with your accomplishments.  Yes, growing up poor can cloud a lot of how you feel.  Remember that you have done remarkably well.  Hope you can find some things that help you feel better about your accomplishments.

formerlydivorcedmom

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #35 on: November 19, 2015, 02:15:27 PM »
There are all kinds of IT jobs.  You might have outgrown this one - maybe it is time for the next challenge.

At 27 I quit the IT job I disliked (doing Lotus Notes programming way back when), took a six-month leave (attempting to see if I could be a happy SAHM.  Answer = no), then switched technologies.  I learned .NET programming and had a lot of fun with that.

I got bored with that job after 5 years, stuck it out for the money for 2 or 3 more, then switched again.  I took a step down to be a report writer/SQL expert...and now I'm back to project management and training too.

I also switched industries.  I work in health care now, and it's a damn sight more rewarding knowing the things I build are helping actual people get better, rather than helping a company get richer.

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #36 on: November 19, 2015, 02:33:04 PM »
Nuts would be working that IT job for 40 years desperately afraid of missing a paycheck. Raises are only a click of the golden handcuffs if you increase your spending to match. When you roll them into your FIRE accounts they are another cord for your golden parachute!

You may be experiencing a post success plateau/crash. It sounds like you clawed your own way out of poverty your family excepted as a fact of life. I did something similar though less spectacularly than your success and I too hit a plateau. I think MMM did a more eloquent job of describing the experience than I could though.

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/08/16/what-it-feels-like-to-become-rich/

Josiecat

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #37 on: November 19, 2015, 02:33:22 PM »
OP, you sound very whiney.  There are so many IT jobs out there.  Find a different job.

Kaspian

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #38 on: November 19, 2015, 02:39:29 PM »
-I feel Iíve spent my entire youth working this job and it has limited my potential significantly. I truly believe I can accomplish great things if I do what I love. I just donít know what it is I love to do.
-I feel afraid of the world. This one started after I was forced to work from home to cut real estate costs.

Sadly, these two points are mutually exclusive.  It's difficult and maybe truly impossible to find out "what you love" if you're also "afraid of the world".  What if the thing to love most is travel?  Or horseback riding?  Or scuba?  Or to play in a rock band in front of an audience?

As for the rest of your post, yeah--I hear ya.  I'm not too keen on mine either.  But wanna trade salaries?  :)

andyp2010

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #39 on: November 19, 2015, 03:42:03 PM »
OP, this is ridiculously understandable. I was having the exact same struggle six months ago and I'm still going through it to a lesser extent. I don't know if this is relevant to you but it's a small synopsis of the situations I've felt and seen other people have.

There's credence for a quarter life crisis, I know a few friends going through it, not that they say it in those terms. it might feel as though you've finally reached adulthood. Not the adulthood where you're 18 and out of home, the proper adulthood where people look to you as a pillar of strength and you've got your shit sorted.

And yet, it all seems to have been such a con, all these things you work so hard to achieve, the things you've sacrificed along the way in order to get there, it's brought you a situation that others are envious of. They might not be quite at the full stage of 'adulthood'. But what they don't know is that it's not all it's cracked up to be.  Maybe it feels like you're a fraud, like you're not as good as people seem to think you are. It feels entirely vacuous.

You can try and tell them that. They won't listen, it just sounds like whining and first world problems. They think 'If only I had what he had, I'd be happier'.

something like this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4

Even on a forum like this, where money is simply an unemotional tool for living rather than a system of victims, abuse and unfairness that most people seem to see it as, you're getting comments to harden up. I think that's quite sad.

Happiness doesn't come from how much you earn or how much you've achieved. My solution so far has been to take time out to work on things that don't bear fruit, utterly pointless from a utility perspective. Growing some herbs in a window sill. Just wandering around the locale and having a good old think. Crosswords and puzzles. I've not really come up with a solution but it's helping.

https://www.youtube.com/user/schooloflifechannel - This has helped too. Plus he has a nice voice.


dragoncar

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #40 on: November 19, 2015, 03:53:47 PM »
If you are truly working 30 hours a week from home, that is PLENTY of time to do what you WANT the rest of the time. Pretend, if you didn't have to work for a living, what would you be doing? And do it on your free time. Who knows you may be so motivated and charged up you either a) won't mind the 30 hours or so you do work your regular job because the rest of your life is so kick ass, or b) you become so successful at your passion, you can evolve to do that full time.

OP, I feel ya, but partgypsy hits the nail on the head.  Most people who feel the way you do are stuck in the office for 40-60 hours per week.  On the other hand, you actually have the time and opportunity to pursue other interests while on the clock.  If you aren't learning to dance now, when working 30 hours per week, I don't think you're gonna do it in retirement.

kpd905

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #41 on: November 19, 2015, 05:29:10 PM »
Maybe you could walk on a treadmill or do some bodyweight squats during those conference calls to get some more activity in throughout your day.

What do your annual expenses add up to?  And have you figured out about how many years it would take for you to become FI?

AgentCooper

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #42 on: November 19, 2015, 06:56:14 PM »
I second the "first world problems" motion.  You could have it so, so much worse.

My suggestions are to volunteer with the homeless on weekends, or go on a 1 week mission trip to a country where people make 50 bucks a month.  And then see about going to 4 days a week for a 20% pay cut and/or change jobs if the soul-sucking nature of your job is too much for ya.


okits

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #43 on: November 19, 2015, 07:52:38 PM »
-In terms of what I do with my free time - right now, I think about how much I hate my job, hang out with family or the wife, a bit of tv after work, read too many financial blogs and listen to too many real estate podcasts. I use to exercise alot but have toned it down a bit - i'm still redic skinny but I felt much better when I was waking up at 5am to workout. I probably should have time to work on the things I want to pursue but I feel drained after work. On the other hand I am unsure if i'm just using that as an excuse.

...

-My wife is fine with whatever I decide, even the living under a bridge option. I believe her. She is just tired of listening to me complain all the time.

Since you're searching for direction and change, try these two things for one month.

1) Other than what is necessary for your job, no screen time.  No TV, no blogs or podcasts, no aimless internet surfing.  Talk to your wife, see your friends, go for a drive, go outside.  Take in a live performance, lecture, sporting event, art exhibit.  Learn something new (either DIY or go to a class.)  Do some 21-day fitness challenge or read through a "top 50 books" list.  Take on a home improvement project.  See how you feel when none of your time is spent passively consuming screen-delivered entertainment.

2) No more complaining about work.  At all.  When your job is frustrating and sucks you say, "I am experiencing challenges at work but I will overcome them."  That's it.  You can talk about work but no complaining.

If that's too easy, add on that after every contact that's a demand or complaint you say something honestly nice about the demander/complainer.  "Co-worker X is astute and has a good grasp of the system's pitfalls/is so nice/works hard/is dedicated and meticulous/is very capable, etc."

Complaints and dissatisfaction about work can beget more complaints and dissatisfaction about work.  An attitude that job difficulties are relatively minor and surmountable makes it really seem so.  Gratitude and appreciation for the good aspects of your job/co-workers can foster more feelings of satisfaction.

I don't have a roadmap for you, but try those two things and see if the world looks/feels a bit different after a month.

jeromedawg

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #44 on: November 19, 2015, 08:45:00 PM »
I think the challenge here is finding out what stimulates and motivates you. Once I find something I can get into, I find satisfaction and accomplishment in doing it WHEN it's what I want to do. The hard part is either finding that thing that you actually *want* to do, especially when it comes down to work, or actually getting yourself into the groove of doing something that you want to do that isn't so easy to do. The other part of the equation of course is having coworkers who have the same or similar drive as you - these are very rare and tough to come by but they do exist! I'd say if it's your workplace that you aren't happy about, find another job in IT. Otherwise, perhaps try  something else outside of whatever it is you do now - maybe that means taking on a technical lead or product/program management role or something else that gives you a different perspective. It seems like you aren't happy perhaps with the type of work you're doing. Try to lay out a roadmap of where you see yourself 5-10 years from now. If that means FIRE, then put your head down and work at it. If you need FIRE faster, then again, seek out the "challenge" of moving up in rank and getting a higher paying job. If you're more just dissatisfied with being in IT in general, then maybe you need to do some deeper career-path soul searching and consider getting into something else... ever considered going to med school? LOL I know it sounds pretty ridiculous but my cousin decided to do this probably right around your age with a background in electrical engineering. He worked at Raytheon and BP straight out of college for several years and just got tired of it. He wanted to do something more meaningful with his life so he went back to school to get his reqs done and then went on to med school and ended up with his MD specializing in anesthesiology. He's doing what he really loves and is bringing home the bank too (not that money was ever a big thing for him but he can pretty much do whatever he wants at this rate).
« Last Edit: November 19, 2015, 08:47:14 PM by jplee3 »

Dicey

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #45 on: November 20, 2015, 07:13:44 AM »
So, do you want to retire early or pursue your Finance dreams? You could easily do both, in sequence. Grind it out where you are, FIRE and then start out again in pursuit of your dream. I'd think the confidence of being FIRE once would benefit you in your pursuit of your new/original dream.

FWIW, I found josiecat's comment to be needlessly rude and therefore not particularly helpful, even though there may be a tiny kernel of truth in it.

I think the more income you're pulling down, the less sympathy you receive. If you had the same concerns at $50k, you might get more support. Since your costs are so low relative to your income, I'm inclined to say "Make hay while the sun shines." Buy all of your life back as soon as possible is my vote. However, you have such a head start, I'd be completely okay with you quitting to follow your dream, if only it was a little more clearly defined. A little more self-examination is in order.

Mikenost12

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #46 on: November 21, 2015, 04:46:08 PM »
So, do you want to retire early or pursue your Finance dreams? You could easily do both, in sequence. Grind it out where you are, FIRE and then start out again in pursuit of your dream. I'd think the confidence of being FIRE once would benefit you in your pursuit of your new/original dream.

...
 A little more self-examination is in order.

HmmmÖ
  Itís sounds partially like you worked hard and achieved your financial goals but it wasnít as rewarding at the end as youíd hoped. Congratulations on hitting your financial goal! Youíre in great shape (better than me, and Iím alot older) at a young age, some amount of deflation or let down after achieving a goal is natural.

  I would think your frustration with your job would require either:

 Changing your job situation (new job in same field or new career in new field or regular time off to better endure job. As fitting with the website and posts like Diane's, enduring the job long enough, while budgeting and looking towards an endpoint, to achieve FI and pursuing finance, or hobbies or giving back)

Or

   Changing your perspective on your job (finding fulfillment outside of the job, changing how your think about or respond to job, not expecting to find fulfillment in it or it to be something you love. Any job might not make you happy if the being Ďafraid of the worldí or depression is strong)

     On one hand you have a very good income, affording comfort and stability that most would be lucky to have, but thanks to hedonic adaptation, we get used to. Whether existential crisis or Buddhist notion of Dukkha (thinks are always off or not in balance, low grade suffering) life is difficult and we always expect it be easier/attachment.  Trying to start each morning with gratitude has helped me lately. Reminding myself that at previous jobs I wasnít always treated well and made 50% of the money helps me overlook the occasional BS at current gig. ĎWorking to Liveí and looking at what the job gives you freedom to do like raise a family or travel or retire soon, rather than ĎLiving to Workí, expecting work to be fulfilling. What are good aspects of your job and what does your salary allow you to do?
       The fact the job requires no commute or in person interaction maybe part of the issue and leading you to feel isolated, maybe a situation with more in person interaction would work better? Is working out of the home causing agoraphobia or something else triggering fears about the world?
    Maybe it isnít the job, you were forced to cut real estate costs, would you want to move somewhere else? Feeling afraid of the world doesnít sound good, as other posters have said, that limits you from enjoying your time not at work. Are you scared to go outside or that negative things will happen? Treating anxiety, depression, quarter-life crisis, existential issues with a therapist might help. Exercise and fixing sleep, if issues might help. Examining self-talk or finding meaning in other areas of life might help. Mindfulness might help.


Since you're searching for direction and change, try these two things for one month.

1) Other than what is necessary for your job, no screen time.  No TV, no blogs or podcasts, no aimless internet surfing.  Talk to your wife, see your friends, go for a drive, go outside.  Take in a live performance, lecture, sporting event, art exhibit.  Learn something new (either DIY or go to a class.)  Do some 21-day fitness challenge or read through a "top 50 books" list.  Take on a home improvement project.  See how you feel when none of your time is spent passively consuming screen-delivered entertainment.

2) No more complaining about work. 
...
Gratitude and appreciation for the good aspects of your job/co-workers can foster more feelings of satisfaction.

I don't have a roadmap for you, but try those two things and see if the world looks/feels a bit different after a month.


Finding hobbies, start Swimming, Dancing, Boxing, is it your job stopping your from pursuing these? Spending time chasing your passions might help. Vacation or balancing work and play might help. How are your relationships? Taking classes or training for another career might help. Focusing on FIRE or a timeline for transition to something else might help. Sorry for the meandering, but it is hard to know what is going on in your situation beyond the dissatisfaction. Or maybe the job is really a bad fit and you need to look at making a change. The fact you are feeling so strongly miserable is a good thing, this is forcing you to make some kind of change in your life!
   Good luck, and good job. Again, no matter what you need to change, even if you quit tomorrow you are in much better financial shape than many people are at a young age! Maybe you will quit and be in a new career in 5 years, or wander for a year, your still young.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2015, 05:38:54 PM by Mikenost12 »

BigBangWeary

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #47 on: November 21, 2015, 11:08:58 PM »
Can you get an extended of time off work? I might suggest something a bit more radical. Look into locations like Thailand, Indonesia, or Portugal. Find a LCOLA and spend 4-6 months bootstrapping something. If you don't burn your bridges, burn and through your nest egg, you might actually learn something about yourself and your desires, as well as your abilities.

If you are properly invested, you might also see your stache rise during this time.

Worth a thought

chasesfish

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #48 on: November 22, 2015, 07:25:15 AM »
I think its time for you to start planning a second career.

You're at 350k, I don't think mentally you'll make it to a retirement number doing the job you're describing.  You have to figure out what you like and would enjoy doing every day.  The low cost of living (half your house rented out, Honda Fit) and secondary income is helpful.

Do you like managing the rental side of the business?  You could also pick up some extra money doing property management for others.  If your wife is a real estate agent, representing investors is a more steady income and you can pickup residual management fee income if you're good at that.

Do what makes you happy, you already have 350k, a supportive spouse with a decent job, and good job skills.  Its unlikely you're going to die poor.

bradleylsmith

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Re: Am I Nuts? Hating Ridiculously Easy 110k Job
« Reply #49 on: November 22, 2015, 12:49:44 PM »
I have a different perspective then the usual on this forum in that I view my job as a way for me to create (the new MMM post has good bits on that) and is an essential part of a healthy life. If you're passionate about something enough it usually leads to money anyway. My safety net is my skills so in that regard you have far more freedom then I do.

I don't think you have an easy job - 20 hours of meetings a week just KILLS any benefit you get out of it. In general meetings are a waste of time for everyone involved. I am supposed to go to a meeting 9pm - 10pm twice a week. I've gone once in the last year at my job - I know if I go to that it would kill my productivity and my passion for what I do...so I just don't go to them and I don't care what happens as a result. If I get fired I'll find another job - and you know what? I'm looking at a potential promotion soon and no one cares I don't go to the meetings. If they did I would ask them why and find another way to accomplish the same thing. Meetings are a huge waste of time. I would stop going to them tomorrow and find another way.