1. Coming from a place of working in ministry -- where your congregational family is your congregational family -- you will always have to be able to take the good with the bad when it comes to interpersonal relationships. You can, however, choose the people you allow under your skin, allow in your personal space, and allow to be your confidants. If you do not have several someones that you trust and involve in your personal thoughts and life, thats your first goal. The others can simply be "acquaintances" or peripheral people that float in and out when absolutely necessary.
2. Another great goal is to determine your own lifestyle standards and priorities. I used to let what others thought of my style, preferences, and how I present myself affect how I related to them. Then I realized that there were lots of people who I interacted with that I valued as a person, even if it didn't agree or share all of their preferences, standards, or beliefs. When you can realize that each of you (including yourself) gets to determine that privilege and be respected for it, it provides you freedom. And if someone refuses you that respect, you have an easy "out" of the relationship -- simply tell them that unless mutual respect can be reached, a relationship cannot be continued.
3. Only when you know what is required of a person for you to trust them, and what beliefs are crucial to yourself, can you determine who in your life might need to be cut off, who may simply needed ignoring or distancing for a bit, and who you can recruit to be your 'tribe'. Unless you have determined your own values, it will be hard to know who it is that values you.
4. Also, I did not grow up in a small town, but i live in one now, and i see a lot of "once a friend, always a friend; once an enemy, always an enemy". People change, relationships change. Your tribe this year may be a different one by a long shot from the people you trust best next year. Give yourself flexibility and room to adjust. Find your community: whether faith based, cause based, location based, or interest based, a community is ultimately going to determine a lot of your happiness and even lifestyle. Oftentimes, simply changing the environment you spend a certain portion of the day or week or even a meal in can expose you to people and communities you didn't even know existed.