Author Topic: "You know what you need?"  (Read 31733 times)

Zikoris

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #50 on: March 16, 2015, 09:49:32 AM »
A few people also think I need a driver's license and possibly a car. I'm 28 and have managed fine without either so far, given that I have two fully functional legs with feet attached.

justajane

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #51 on: March 16, 2015, 10:36:38 AM »
Are we exaggerating, though? Or getting caught up in semantics? Are people actually just saying that we might enjoy these things and not actually asserting that we need them? If the language is, "You should get a fancy coffee.....", it could perhaps go either way.

I'm just playing the devil's advocate.

Having said that, I think my friends actually thought we need a minivan, since they said we were stupid for not buying one.

Zikoris

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #52 on: March 16, 2015, 10:55:01 AM »
Are we exaggerating, though? Or getting caught up in semantics? Are people actually just saying that we might enjoy these things and not actually asserting that we need them? If the language is, "You should get a fancy coffee.....", it could perhaps go either way.

Particularly in the case of alcohol, a lot of people seem to feel threatened or uncomfortable when one person in the group doesn't drink - they genuinely want everyone to drink alcoholic drinks rather than soda, regardless of whether you actually want to.


ohana

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #53 on: March 16, 2015, 11:30:23 AM »
This is all a lot like how people treat food.  I'm on a restricted diet because I don't want to be fat.  I've been on this diet for 5 years; to me it's just the way I eat.  It's worth it to me to healthy and look awesome; I'm happy to give up sweets and fatty foods.  But as soon as I eat with someone else I get the "just one won't hurt you" and "you can have that, it's not that bad for you".  Also -- "wow, you've lost too much weight" was big when I first got my act together.  Like I hadn't talked to my doctor, an actual health professional . . . .  What they are really doing is trying to get me to eat the crap they eat so they don't feel so guilty about eating it themselves.  If everyone around you is eating fries, then fries aren't that bad, right?  If everyone is overweight, I can be too.

I think this is similar.  If everyone around me is in debt, then that's normal, right?  So I don't have to feel guilty?  If you have a big screen TV, it's alright for me to get one, even though I can't afford it. 

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #54 on: March 16, 2015, 11:39:00 AM »

Particularly in the case of alcohol, a lot of people seem to feel threatened or uncomfortable when one person in the group doesn't drink - they genuinely want everyone to drink alcoholic drinks rather than soda, regardless of whether you actually want to.

I'm pretty happy I haven't had this problem.  Actually on a work outing, I wasn't drinking anything at all- and on the third round, a guy who got up said "do you want something soft?"  It was nice that they noticed.

Lots of people though tell me I just need to practice to aquire a taste for craft beer, fine wine, or scotch.  I'd rather just NOT aquire the taste and save a ton of money*

*This savings does not work in Mexico where bottled water costs more than beer.

justajane

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #55 on: March 16, 2015, 11:45:24 AM »
Are we exaggerating, though? Or getting caught up in semantics? Are people actually just saying that we might enjoy these things and not actually asserting that we need them? If the language is, "You should get a fancy coffee.....", it could perhaps go either way.

Particularly in the case of alcohol, a lot of people seem to feel threatened or uncomfortable when one person in the group doesn't drink - they genuinely want everyone to drink alcoholic drinks rather than soda, regardless of whether you actually want to.

That's a good point. I have also encountered that, and I find it very offensive for another person to pressure someone to drink. This isn't necessarily a financial issue, but the same thing occurs with dancing at parties. I have actually had a large man pull me onto the dance floor, despite my protestations. Let's just say, I did not dance with him. He got an earful instead.

eyePod

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #56 on: March 16, 2015, 11:45:30 AM »
Your response is priceless.

Zikoris

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #57 on: March 16, 2015, 11:48:11 AM »
My experience suggests alcohol-pushing fades with age - I don't think I've ever had someone over about 25 find it personally offensive that I don't drink.

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #58 on: March 16, 2015, 12:01:07 PM »
My friends say I *need* a PS4.  We all the play the same game together online, they use their PS4s but I use my old PS3.  The fact that I'm using an older console bothers them for some reason.  $400 so I can slightly upgrade the graphics for ONE game?  I don't think so!

RetirementDreaming

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #59 on: March 16, 2015, 12:51:48 PM »
The working mothers at the office tell me "you need a live-in nanny".  Apparently everyone has one. 

And I "need my eyebrows threaded".   

johnny847

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #60 on: March 16, 2015, 01:20:28 PM »
A few people also think I need a driver's license and possibly a car. I'm 28 and have managed fine without either so far, given that I have two fully functional legs with feet attached.

Well I mean, having a form of ID to carry around is pretty handy. Though of course, basically all states provide non drivers license ID's.

And I "need my eyebrows threaded".   

Lol I don't even know what that means

Kris

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #61 on: March 16, 2015, 01:28:26 PM »
This is all a lot like how people treat food.  I'm on a restricted diet because I don't want to be fat.  I've been on this diet for 5 years; to me it's just the way I eat.  It's worth it to me to healthy and look awesome; I'm happy to give up sweets and fatty foods.  But as soon as I eat with someone else I get the "just one won't hurt you" and "you can have that, it's not that bad for you".  Also -- "wow, you've lost too much weight" was big when I first got my act together.  Like I hadn't talked to my doctor, an actual health professional . . . .  What they are really doing is trying to get me to eat the crap they eat so they don't feel so guilty about eating it themselves.  If everyone around you is eating fries, then fries aren't that bad, right?  If everyone is overweight, I can be too.

I think this is similar.  If everyone around me is in debt, then that's normal, right?  So I don't have to feel guilty?  If you have a big screen TV, it's alright for me to get one, even though I can't afford it.

I think you hit the nail on the head.  A number of years ago, I discovered exercise and, though I didn't really lose actual pounds, I did tone up a lot.  Since I wasn't really fat to begin with, it looked as though I had lost weight.  Add to that the fact that I was also eating very healthily, and good God almighty, did I hear about this from people.  Literally, to the point where more than one person point blank told me that they thought I was anorexic. 

It really started getting me down, to be honest.  Like, I would look in the mirror, asking myself, "Do I look that bad?"  Which bummed me out because I felt great and would have thought I looked good, too, except for the people nagging me. I actually ended up going to a sports doctor about it.  He told me I was healthy as a horse, and even wrote it down on as a kind of patient diagnosis, weirdly.  I showed his "leave her alone, she's healthy" note to more than one person.  Ended up shutting them up.

The_path_less_taken

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #62 on: March 16, 2015, 01:39:42 PM »
Anyone that truly knows me well has stopped that...it's only 'acquaintance' types who are so sure they know exactly what is missing from my life.

At the checkout at Costco yesterday they asked, "Did you find everything you need?"

I said no. "I'd like a new job, a new car, a cabana boy: what aisle are those on?"

Apparently none of that is in stock though.

RunHappy

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #63 on: March 16, 2015, 01:41:31 PM »
As we have started telling more people about the pregnancy, I'm being told, I "need a safer car".  I drive a  2012 Ford Focus Hatchback, a couple of people are trying to tell me I need something bigger and safer.  I just reply back that the safest feature of any car is the person sitting behind the steering wheel. 

Edit:
Oh and since we are buying a house with 6 acres of land, I've been told I need a horse, despite my lifelong fear of them, everyone is sure I'll "just get over it"....ummm no.

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #64 on: March 16, 2015, 01:43:09 PM »
I just reply back that the safest feature of any car is the person sitting behind the steering wheel.

Not really sure that's true.  My nightmare year last year happened while I was sitting still at a stoplight.  I couldn't have done anything different.  (But it's not like a Focus is a tiny smart car... nor do I know if having a bigger car would have done me any good.)
« Last Edit: March 16, 2015, 02:04:00 PM by iowajes »

johnny847

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #65 on: March 16, 2015, 01:58:52 PM »
As we have started telling more people about the pregnancy, I'm being told, I "need a safer car".  I drive a  2012 Ford Focus Hatchback, a couple of people are trying to tell me I need something bigger and safer.  I just reply back that the safest feature of any car is the person sitting behind the steering wheel. 

*sigh*. Misconceptions. Bigger does not equal safer in all situations. Basically, your change in momentum is going to be proportional to the force experienced.

Yes, it's true a bigger car is better in a collision with another car. Assuming the cars are going at equal speeds, the heavier car is going to push back the smaller car, meaning the smaller car has a much higher change in momentum (velocity went from positive to negative) than the bigger car (velocity went from positive to zero).

But a smaller car is better in a collision with another (unmoveable or approximately unmoveable) object. Both the big and small cars will experience the same change in velocity, but momentum is mass * velocity. Hence, the bigger car will experience a larger change in momentum and a larger force.

Then the question becomes, well what is more likely? A collision with another car or a collision with another object? That I don't know the answer to.
However, regardless of which type of accident is more likely, knowing that doesn't really help you that much, simply because a car accident is thankfully a rare enough event that you won't be able to apply the law of large numbers and actually realize the long term probabilities of car accident rates b/w other cars and other objects.
So I say screw the whole big vs small car for safety debate. Just buy a car according to your needs. If it happens to be a big car, that's great. If it's a small car, that's great too.

resy

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #66 on: March 16, 2015, 02:12:01 PM »
Oh gosh. Well, lets see...
-a new car. When my old one died last summer I had ppl on fb telling me how I should just buckle down and buy a new one.
-go out to either bars, night clubs or dinners every weekend.
-go to the mall more often (I only go when Im feeling fancy to browse the books at barnes and noble while I drink a coffee)
-my sister feels/acts like my family is starving because we dont have a fridge and freeze full plus a seperate freezer (that never seems to go down btw) like they do. We are a family of 3, they of 4.
-I was a single mom for almost a decade during which I was self employed cleaning because it payed the most without a degree and the flexible schedule was great and I had people telling me all the time how I should be a bank teller so I could "dress up".
-another kid.
-get my nails/hair done (I used to and feel like such a fool for all that wasted money!)


Wait really? People tell you you need another kid? Everything else on your list seems like the standard consumerist fare, but I found this one to be rather nosy.
yeah!! Can you believe it?! Nevermind that I've recently finally gone back to school and my hubby and I are in our first year of marriage...we NEED a baby! Because you know, what else are we going to do? Lol
and apparently my kid will have the worst life ever without a sibling.
The craziest thing is ppl would ask me about the next kid while I was single even! Thats some crazy shit.

Agamede

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #67 on: March 16, 2015, 02:46:11 PM »
Are we exaggerating, though?

Maybe on some things. Though what's the internet for if you can't exaggerate? :)

One thing that's struck me lately is that people aren't necessarily precise in their language when they're making these kinds of recommendations. I have a number of friends who repeatedly told me I needed to buy a house... but when I moved last year from an apartment to a rented duplex, they all shut up about it! When they said "you need to buy a house," they actually meant, "the idea of someone living below or above me makes me uncomfortable, and I assume you feel the same way." No one really cares whether or not I have a mortgage. Similarly, all the people who told me I needed a new car were delighted when I swapped my old car for a five year old Toyota. I used to get irritated at a friend who always proposed going shopping for new clothes... and then I discovered she was just as content when I bought a $4 sweater at Goodwill as when we hit the mall. Problem solved!

Obviously, I'm not recommending that everyone go out and buy things they don't want as some kind of compromise, and I admit that in some cases, people are just hopeless. (One old acquaintance, the friend of my then-roommate, was obsessed with the size of our TV. I finally had to tell her that we'd get a bigger TV the day she bought one for us.) But most people just want you to be happy and assume that you want the same things they do. If you just live your life and demonstrate by your own happiness that you're getting what you want, most people will either cut back on the advice or go find someone more fun to torment.

Candace

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #68 on: March 16, 2015, 03:00:10 PM »
According to my mother, I need a new car.

I think she is hoping I'll forget about the first five times she's said that to me, and suddenly see the wisdom in her opinion.

I would ask her if she wants to pay for it, but that would just get me lots of blowback. So I just say my 1998 Camry is part of my plan for financial independence. I only drive it to work now (my boyfriend drives everywhere we go together) so at least she doesn't "have" to worry about me breaking down somewhere remote.

My car is extremely reliable. The truth is my mother would like to brag to all her friends about something and if I bought a shiny new car, that would help her out for a month or two.

CheapskateWife

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #69 on: March 16, 2015, 03:03:54 PM »
All from my dear MIL who is 92, living off of $750 in SSI and the grocery money we send every month.

To DH: " you really should buy her flowers to celebrate her new job"

To DH and then me after he laughed at her:"  you really should consider buying this house that is just about to be listed; its only $750K, and we could all live there together"  Never mind that she lives 4 states away, and "all live there together" means our family, her, and my struggling BIL.  Our current home in TX is larger than the one she wants us to buy, has more land, and costs 1/6th of her proposed solution.

About DS:  " you need to buy him a toy from Grandma"

I'll just let you chew on that last one for a minute

RunHappy

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #70 on: March 16, 2015, 03:06:58 PM »
As we have started telling more people about the pregnancy, I'm being told, I "need a safer car".  I drive a  2012 Ford Focus Hatchback, a couple of people are trying to tell me I need something bigger and safer.  I just reply back that the safest feature of any car is the person sitting behind the steering wheel. 

*sigh*. Misconceptions. Bigger does not equal safer in all situations. Basically, your change in momentum is going to be proportional to the force experienced.

Yes, it's true a bigger car is better in a collision with another car. Assuming the cars are going at equal speeds, the heavier car is going to push back the smaller car, meaning the smaller car has a much higher change in momentum (velocity went from positive to negative) than the bigger car (velocity went from positive to zero).

But a smaller car is better in a collision with another (unmoveable or approximately unmoveable) object. Both the big and small cars will experience the same change in velocity, but momentum is mass * velocity. Hence, the bigger car will experience a larger change in momentum and a larger force.

Then the question becomes, well what is more likely? A collision with another car or a collision with another object? That I don't know the answer to.
However, regardless of which type of accident is more likely, knowing that doesn't really help you that much, simply because a car accident is thankfully a rare enough event that you won't be able to apply the law of large numbers and actually realize the long term probabilities of car accident rates b/w other cars and other objects.
So I say screw the whole big vs small car for safety debate. Just buy a car according to your needs. If it happens to be a big car, that's great. If it's a small car, that's great too.

true we don't know when or if the next car accident will happen.  My last car accident happened when I was not in the car, someone in the parking garage dented my door. 

I consider myself a safer driver, considering I don't drive a ton.  I drive at or just below the speed limit and always keep a good distance from the car in front of me. There isn't much I can do to control other people but I can control me.

RunHappy

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #71 on: March 16, 2015, 03:09:17 PM »

About DS:  " you need to buy him a toy from Grandma"

I'll just let you chew on that last one for a minute
I can't even wrap my head around that one.

justajane

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #72 on: March 16, 2015, 03:12:12 PM »
I forgot that my husband was lectured by his mother on how he needed to buy my an engagement ring, even though I had expressly told him I didn't want one.

I've tried for years to wear a wedding ring, and I just don't like it. The $200 one didn't work and now is too small. The $40 sterling replacement sits unused as well. I just hate rings or jewelry of any kind.

An engagement ring would have been a colossal waste.

When we go out in public together, we joke that I am his mistress, since he wears a ring. 

Philociraptor

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #73 on: March 16, 2015, 03:13:36 PM »
From both of our mothers, and various other family members: children. No thanks! Wife's mother says wife must be preggo by end of year, she just laughs it off. My mom has finally stopped asking about it every holiday. I see the sadness (only son in the family), but having children isn't something to do for the sake of others.

johnny847

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #74 on: March 16, 2015, 04:26:12 PM »
yeah!! Can you believe it?! Nevermind that I've recently finally gone back to school and my hubby and I are in our first year of marriage...we NEED a baby! Because you know, what else are we going to do? Lol
and apparently my kid will have the worst life ever without a sibling.
The craziest thing is ppl would ask me about the next kid while I was single even! Thats some crazy shit.

Well apparently there's nothing else to do during the aftermath of a hurricane but make babies http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/27/nyregion/preparing-for-hurricane-babies.html ;)

Heh. I'm probably preaching to the choir here but I had a great life without a sibling! Didn't need to share anything (then again, maybe it made me more selfish than one who does have siblings...). But it certainly made it possible for me to graduate from an expensive private university with no debt because my parents paid for everything!

RFAAOATB

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #75 on: March 16, 2015, 05:01:16 PM »
From both of our mothers, and various other family members: children. No thanks! Wife's mother says wife must be preggo by end of year, she just laughs it off. My mom has finally stopped asking about it every holiday. I see the sadness (only son in the family), but having children isn't something to do for the sake of others.

One of the advantages of being long lived... if my child did not provide me with future grandchildren, I plan on procuring another child and trying again.  Suggest that plan to the parents.

Philociraptor

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #76 on: March 16, 2015, 05:48:40 PM »
From both of our mothers, and various other family members: children. No thanks! Wife's mother says wife must be preggo by end of year, she just laughs it off. My mom has finally stopped asking about it every holiday. I see the sadness (only son in the family), but having children isn't something to do for the sake of others.

One of the advantages of being long lived... if my child did not provide me with future grandchildren, I plan on procuring another child and trying again.  Suggest that plan to the parents.
Mom had her tubes tied, though there is always adoption. I'll bring it up next time.

I'm a red panda

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #77 on: March 17, 2015, 06:58:15 AM »
yeah!! Can you believe it?! Nevermind that I've recently finally gone back to school and my hubby and I are in our first year of marriage...we NEED a baby! Because you know, what else are we going to do? Lol
and apparently my kid will have the worst life ever without a sibling.
The craziest thing is ppl would ask me about the next kid while I was single even! Thats some crazy shit.

That went away somewhere around year 7 for us. 

RetiredAt63

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #78 on: March 17, 2015, 09:18:13 AM »
When they get them in stock, please let me know  ;-)


At the checkout at Costco yesterday they asked, "Did you find everything you need?"

I said no. "I'd like a new job, a new car, a cabana boy: what aisle are those on?"

Apparently none of that is in stock though.

FoundPeace

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #79 on: March 17, 2015, 10:19:51 AM »
the big one i hear about is a TV....
in fact, I've been offered several free TVs by people who pity me....
+1

I even had a TV mysteriously show up on my porch one day. We promptly gave it to a friend who wanted it because it was bigger than the one they had.

My car. It is a very nice Toyota Yaris, but I have been told that as a mechanical engineer I need something else with a bit more oomph. Otherwise I'm not a real engineer.

johnny847

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #80 on: March 17, 2015, 11:00:06 AM »
My car. It is a very nice Toyota Yaris, but I have been told that as a mechanical engineer I need something else with a bit more oomph. Otherwise I'm not a real engineer.

One time I found my mechanical engineering friend hunched over his car engine.
Me: What's up with your car?
Friend: The check engine light, the most undescriptive and unhelpful diagnostic in every car, is on.
Me: You're a mechanical engineer! Fix it!
Friend: I'm a mechanical engineer, not a mechanic.

The same logic could be applied to electrical engineer vs electrician =P

TrMama

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #81 on: March 17, 2015, 11:03:35 AM »
My mom hounded DH and I relentlessly a few years ago about the fact we "needed" a Smart car. Nevermind that I was hugely pregnant with our 2 child. Even she couldn't figure out where 2 adults and 2 kids in carseats would fit in the thing.

Strangely, they don't make roof racks for car seats . . .

FoundPeace

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #82 on: March 18, 2015, 10:04:18 AM »
Strangely, they don't make roof racks for car seats . . .

That sounds like a great idea! I wonder if anyone has a patent on it...

PeachFuzzInVA

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #83 on: March 18, 2015, 02:54:46 PM »
Apparently I "need" a new car since my green 1992 Honda Civic with 351,000 miles and a white fender isn't fancy enough for someone who works for a high end German auto dealership.

ender

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #84 on: March 18, 2015, 03:18:58 PM »
One time I found my mechanical engineering friend hunched over his car engine.
Me: What's up with your car?
Friend: The check engine light, the most undescriptive and unhelpful diagnostic in every car, is on.
Me: You're a mechanical engineer! Fix it!
Friend: I'm a mechanical engineer, not a mechanic.

The same logic could be applied to electrical engineer vs electrician =P

People assume that mechanical engineers deep knowledge and ability to repair of how everything in the entire world works.

theadvicist

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #85 on: March 19, 2015, 10:05:57 AM »


People assume that mechanical engineers deep knowledge and ability to repair of how everything in the entire world works.

I think this happens with a lot of disciplines. I have a history degree, and my husband asked me what year trousers were invented.

Um, dude, they don't teach us the date of like... everything.

GuitarStv

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #86 on: March 19, 2015, 10:21:01 AM »
Been told I need a new phone for the last 7 years...

Been told I should get a cellphone for more than 10 years.

Zikoris

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #87 on: March 19, 2015, 11:03:10 AM »
I've been told I need a smart phone for several years now. When I dig down and prob for reasons it falls apart pretty quick.

The big downsides I see are cost, environmental impact, and the expectation of being available at all times - right now people do not expect me to immediately respond to emails or Facebook messages, which is fantastic! When I'm not home I don't WANT people bothering me with non-important stuff, and if it's quite important they can always call me. My generation really hates talking on the phone, so I only get calls for important reasons.

justajane

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #88 on: March 20, 2015, 09:18:57 AM »
I've been told I need a smart phone for several years now. When I dig down and prob for reasons it falls apart pretty quick.

The big downsides I see are cost, environmental impact, and the expectation of being available at all times - right now people do not expect me to immediately respond to emails or Facebook messages, which is fantastic! When I'm not home I don't WANT people bothering me with non-important stuff, and if it's quite important they can always call me. My generation really hates talking on the phone, so I only get calls for important reasons.

I'm almost ten years older than you and feel similar pressures. People look at me like I have two heads when I give them my landline number rather than a cellphone. I do think that it has put a damper on some new friendships, but I figure, if someone will write me off because they can't text me, I'm not really sure I want to be their friend anyway.

Mind you, I have a cellphone, but it is a pay as you go that is really reserved for contact with my family. If I hand out the number it will quickly become much more expensive than the $10 a month I pay now. I am very, very often checking my computer at home, so someone can IM me on Facebook or e-mail and usually get a response pretty quickly.

I really struggle with the smartphone issue. I actively do not want one for valid reasons similar to yours, but I feel like I am being pushed into getting one by the culture of others.

Thegoblinchief

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #89 on: March 20, 2015, 09:41:06 AM »
I've been told I need a smart phone for several years now. When I dig down and prob for reasons it falls apart pretty quick.

The big downsides I see are cost, environmental impact, and the expectation of being available at all times - right now people do not expect me to immediately respond to emails or Facebook messages, which is fantastic! When I'm not home I don't WANT people bothering me with non-important stuff, and if it's quite important they can always call me. My generation really hates talking on the phone, so I only get calls for important reasons.

I'm almost ten years older than you and feel similar pressures. People look at me like I have two heads when I give them my landline number rather than a cellphone. I do think that it has put a damper on some new friendships, but I figure, if someone will write me off because they can't text me, I'm not really sure I want to be their friend anyway.

Mind you, I have a cellphone, but it is a pay as you go that is really reserved for contact with my family. If I hand out the number it will quickly become much more expensive than the $10 a month I pay now. I am very, very often checking my computer at home, so someone can IM me on Facebook or e-mail and usually get a response pretty quickly.

I really struggle with the smartphone issue. I actively do not want one for valid reasons similar to yours, but I feel like I am being pushed into getting one by the culture of others.

Funny. People almost never call or text me, and those that do text I insist on having them use Hangouts, which I enable only when on WiFi. So my smartphone averages less than $10/month and that's our only phone cost, as the wife gets a free phone via work.

justajane

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #90 on: March 20, 2015, 09:49:31 AM »
I've been told I need a smart phone for several years now. When I dig down and prob for reasons it falls apart pretty quick.

The big downsides I see are cost, environmental impact, and the expectation of being available at all times - right now people do not expect me to immediately respond to emails or Facebook messages, which is fantastic! When I'm not home I don't WANT people bothering me with non-important stuff, and if it's quite important they can always call me. My generation really hates talking on the phone, so I only get calls for important reasons.

I'm almost ten years older than you and feel similar pressures. People look at me like I have two heads when I give them my landline number rather than a cellphone. I do think that it has put a damper on some new friendships, but I figure, if someone will write me off because they can't text me, I'm not really sure I want to be their friend anyway.

Mind you, I have a cellphone, but it is a pay as you go that is really reserved for contact with my family. If I hand out the number it will quickly become much more expensive than the $10 a month I pay now. I am very, very often checking my computer at home, so someone can IM me on Facebook or e-mail and usually get a response pretty quickly.

I really struggle with the smartphone issue. I actively do not want one for valid reasons similar to yours, but I feel like I am being pushed into getting one by the culture of others.

Funny. People almost never call or text me, and those that do text I insist on having them use Hangouts, which I enable only when on WiFi. So my smartphone averages less than $10/month and that's our only phone cost, as the wife gets a free phone via work.

Good to know. That's probably what I'll do as well when I get a smartphone. And I know it is when not if. One of my main reasons for not wanting a smartphone is the phone itself, which you have to charge more and appears to be much more fragile. I drop my $15 flip phone all the time and it is fine. The number of people I see using cracked smartphones implies to me that they are easy to damage.

Our total cellphone bills are $10/month too, since my husband have a work phone as well. But then we pay $20 for the landline, which I do actually use daily. I am okay with $30 a month total. We have an archaic phone on the wall still, but I like it in the event of an emergency. My young children know where it is and how to dial 911. I can hardly locate my cell phone most of the time; it's unlikely in the event of an emergency that the kids could find it.

Shropskr

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #91 on: March 20, 2015, 10:52:53 AM »
 From my mom who know the fire numbers are working out.

My mom "so when is your husband getting a new job" he's been unemployed since the new year

Me"well with these numbers looks like he does have to if he does want to"

My mom" but you know he NEEDS to work the last 5 quarters to get full social security benefits and Medicare"

Me "well if he wants to work great but no way will he be working anouther 20 years just for that" subject change

I really really don't think she gets the whole point of early retirementment.
Also why we need a second car How will he drive to work? Lol
Oh and I need a new phone to she doesn't like my tracphone either.
Oh and I need to house cleaner too. 

Eke where does it end

Meggslynn

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #92 on: March 20, 2015, 03:36:23 PM »
I need another child. My only child is certainly just going to end up depressed and spoiled unless I pop out another one. ;-)

Oh I get this one all the time. We should chat!

Meggslynn

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #93 on: March 20, 2015, 03:45:24 PM »
Apparently I need a spa day and a fancy vacation. These would help me "just relax" which would in turn cure my infertility.
Also I need an SUV for the one child my husband and I hope to have or adopt.


This is horrible. I'm sorry. Those people are idiots

nereo

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #94 on: March 25, 2015, 04:01:45 PM »
Oh!!!... was just reminded of another one...
I get told constantly that I "NEED a Facebook account".  At times I feel like the only person under 35 in the western world who's not on Facebook.

The reasons why I need them seem so forced.  1) I don't know what's going on with you (then call/email/skype/text me, or just stop by).  2) I can't coordinate plans with you (then call/email/skype/text me, or just stop by).  3) but I want to show you photos of ____ (then call/email/skype/text me, or just stop by) 4) but it's so hard to keep up with you (well, I guess you don't really care that much). 

mozar

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #95 on: March 25, 2015, 05:40:46 PM »
I told my co-worker I'm not on facebook because I don't need to see peoples selfies, cats, crap they ate etc. Co-worker said "yes you do."

eyePod

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #96 on: March 26, 2015, 06:54:59 AM »
Oh!!!... was just reminded of another one...
I get told constantly that I "NEED a Facebook account".  At times I feel like the only person under 35 in the western world who's not on Facebook.

The reasons why I need them seem so forced.  1) I don't know what's going on with you (then call/email/skype/text me, or just stop by).  2) I can't coordinate plans with you (then call/email/skype/text me, or just stop by).  3) but I want to show you photos of ____ (then call/email/skype/text me, or just stop by) 4) but it's so hard to keep up with you (well, I guess you don't really care that much).

They want to share all of this information with you but in the most generic way and least effort possible. "I want this to seem like it's meaningful."

HazelStone

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #97 on: March 26, 2015, 07:25:33 AM »
Apparently I need a spa day and a fancy vacation. These would help me "just relax" which would in turn cure my infertility.
Also I need an SUV for the one child my husband and I hope to have or adopt.

This is horrible. I'm sorry. Those people are idiots

Ha. Don't get me started.
"Studies have shown that stress and worry actually do affect one's chances. You are adding to it, stfu if you're wanting to see me have one."

Fuzzy Buttons

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #98 on: March 26, 2015, 07:48:18 AM »
Aside from the sparkly diamonds that DH should be buying me :eye roll: (already mentioned up thread)

I also, apparently need a new car.  My 14 year old VW Jetta is simply not good enough to get me to/from work & hauling my dog around for destination hikes/ swims/ trail running. 
Why would I need a new car just to make it smell like wet dog too?

Hah!  My family and their friends have been telling me to replace my 19 year old Jetta for at least a decade.  Though, nobody tells me I need sparkly diamonds.  :(

PMG

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Re: "You know what you need?"
« Reply #99 on: March 26, 2015, 07:52:07 AM »
Jesus.