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Around the Internet => Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy => Topic started by: JoJo on July 17, 2017, 05:40:12 PM

Title: The anti-mustache house
Post by: JoJo on July 17, 2017, 05:40:12 PM
Not for its 1.25 million price tag, but for its contents.  You need to look at the pictures of this one to appreciate.  WTF?

https://www.trulia.com/property/3096959500-4302-Colony-West-Dr-Richmond-TX-77406
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: free to do what i want on July 17, 2017, 07:53:49 PM
As someone who recently moved, this almost gave me an anxiety attack.
Imagine, this is the cleaned up version! 
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: rockstache on July 17, 2017, 08:25:37 PM
I couldn't even look at them all. That was so creepy.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Miss Piggy on July 17, 2017, 08:30:15 PM
O.
M.
G.

That was creepy as hell.

I couldn't even look at them all. That was so creepy.

I, on the other hand, couldn't stop looking. And I'm pretty sure I'll have nightmares tonight.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: CindyBS on July 17, 2017, 08:34:22 PM
O.
M.
G.

That was creepy as hell.

I couldn't even look at them all. That was so creepy.
I, on the other hand, couldn't stop looking. And I'm pretty sure I'll have nightmares tonight.

Me too.  I looked at all of them and laughed out loud at #17.  It actually had a manaquin of a child riding a tricycle attached to the ceiling.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Joeko on July 17, 2017, 08:44:19 PM
Wow...is that a joke? Why did the realtor agree to list it in that condition?  Some family needs a hoarder intervention.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Aegishjalmur on July 17, 2017, 08:47:03 PM
What should really scare you is each of those dolls and mannequins has it's own name. And the owner knows them all.....


Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Caoineag on July 17, 2017, 08:50:54 PM
Seriously, wow, just, wow. I kept remembering a movie I watched where the mannequins were actually jinn in the house. I am pretty sure that I couldn't last an hour in a house that busy/creepy. 7400 sq ft, fillled to the brim. *Shudders* How much you want to bet that they are selling that house to buy a bigger one...
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on July 17, 2017, 09:36:33 PM
I just looked at 32 photos and have no idea what the interior of the house actually looks like because I was transfixed by the train wreck.

Big sigh of relief not to see one submerged in the pool!
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: chrisgermany on July 17, 2017, 10:51:35 PM
How many hours/week would you need to keep it clean???
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Free Spirit on July 17, 2017, 11:03:04 PM
How many hours/week would you need to keep it clean???

I was just thinking how their cleaner (and you KNOW they have one) must be making BANK!
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Mrs. S on July 18, 2017, 02:10:30 AM
This is scary and for some reason t gives me anxiety. It might be worthwhile if you get all the 'collections' and then spend years selling them room by room. I'd guess you can make hundreds even thousands selling these at 1$ each. Or is the owner going to clear these off and take it with her?
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: farfromfire on July 18, 2017, 02:20:05 AM
I love that mannequin on the barstool so much, I want to get my own
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: kina on July 18, 2017, 04:01:54 AM
I love the descriptions that try ever-so-hard to direct attention to the architectural features (look at those arches! and you can almost see the hardwood floors!) and away from those elephants in the room!
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Aegishjalmur on July 18, 2017, 07:08:35 AM
The real question though: Does the home come fully furnished or do you have to pay extra money to get them to take all those with them?
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: acepedro45 on July 18, 2017, 07:15:59 AM
From the realtor's description...

"You truly have to let this one sink in to appreciate all the extras."

I'll say.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: farfromfire on July 18, 2017, 07:19:26 AM
The real question though: Does the home come fully furnished or do you have to pay extra money to get them to take all those with them?
If it comes with the, um, collectibles - it might be worth it to buy the house, sell all the items on ebay/yardsale, and then sell the house for a higher price as most sane people would not buy it in its current state.

Quote from: trulia
You truly have to let this one sink in to appreciate all the extras.
Indeed.

ETA: damn, acepedro45 was quicker on the trigger.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: solon on July 18, 2017, 07:29:45 AM
Nothing wrong with that house a match and a can of gasoline couldn't cure.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Holyoak on July 18, 2017, 07:32:14 AM
It rubs the lotion on its skin...  "The spacious basement includes a fully stone lined guest pit".
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: slugline on July 18, 2017, 07:33:11 AM
This house listing went viral, eh? Yeah, this is in the Houston metro and the story that I'm seeing is that the seller is some sort of artist. I have no idea if he/she is someone who actually makes money with art as frequently it turns out that these folks are either already independently wealthy or otherwise supported and they just need **something** to do with their spare time. . . .
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Rural on July 18, 2017, 09:06:01 AM
The place is a fine candidate for McMansion Hell without even looking at the inside. How many dormers is that again?


Plus I think there's a mannequin on a riding mover out back.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: PoutineLover on July 18, 2017, 09:09:39 AM
Absolutely terrifying
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Warlord1986 on July 18, 2017, 09:31:49 AM
How much would it cost to exorcise a house that large?
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: LadyMuMu on July 18, 2017, 10:25:15 AM
artist + hoarding = well-curated clutter

They're going to get at least $150,000 less than they could for that house just because it shows like a crazy person's home.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: TheGrimSqueaker on July 18, 2017, 10:48:03 AM
What was this, one of the Huguette Clark properties?
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: FireHiker on July 18, 2017, 12:01:29 PM
Wow. That would be my mom if she had money (thank goodness she doesn't, I guess?). I am horrified and want to rush home and get rid of stuff now...
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Debts_of_Despair on July 18, 2017, 12:14:35 PM
Crazy to think how much all that *hit cost and how much it is now worth.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: AlanStache on July 18, 2017, 12:23:04 PM
Its like a TGIF vomited up a Ruby Tuesdays.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Sibley on July 18, 2017, 12:28:29 PM
From what I can tell of the house behind the unusual decorating choices is it's really nice.

Really hope it's a stunt though.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: BFGirl on July 18, 2017, 01:24:45 PM
I feel so much better about my house now. 
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: DTaggart on July 18, 2017, 01:33:12 PM
*sigh*

If this were a 2 bedroom condo, it would be an almost perfect replica of my FIL's house.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: 9-Volt on July 18, 2017, 01:41:29 PM
What I find the craziest is that one of the metrics at the very bottom is "distance to nearest Starbucks".
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: zolotiyeruki on July 18, 2017, 01:45:15 PM
The real question though: Does the home come fully furnished or do you have to pay extra money to get them to take all those with them?
If it comes with the, um, collectibles - it might be worth it to buy the house, sell all the items on ebay/yardsale, and then sell the house for a higher price as most sane people would not buy it in its current state.
That sounds like a fantastic way to make a few bucks.  Even with realtor commissions on both sales, you'd still make a pile of cash.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: LalsConstant on July 18, 2017, 02:30:34 PM
Well we now know where Pee Wee Herman has been living all these years.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: AnswerIs42 on July 18, 2017, 02:55:07 PM
Haha. I looked at the first couple of photos, and thought "Well, it's a bit excessive, but it looks quite nice. What's the fuss about?"

Then I saw the rest of the photos. :O Wow, what a load of useless tat...
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: paddedhat on July 18, 2017, 03:38:04 PM
Its like a TGIF vomited up a Ruby Tuesdays.

You have to add the contents of at least two cracker barrel restaurants to your mix, to even generate enough volume of crap, to match that train wreck. That has got to be multiple tractor trailer loads of useless shit. Kind of reminded me of "House on the Rock" in southern Wisconsin.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: The Guru on July 18, 2017, 04:56:23 PM
Add good taste to the list of things money can't buy.

BTW did anyone notice the sign on the left-hand side of photo #15?
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: The Guru on July 18, 2017, 05:01:09 PM
How much would it cost to exorcise a house that large?

Don't ask me- I fell behind on payments to my exorcist. Then I got repossessed.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Dicey on July 19, 2017, 01:03:04 AM
Well we now know where Pee Wee Herman has been living all these years.
Nah, Pee Wee has better taste...
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: RetiredAt63 on July 19, 2017, 11:02:15 AM
It is actually a nice house (huge, but nice) under all the stuff.  But the stuff, omg.  At least the pool table had nothing on it but the racked balls.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: solon on July 19, 2017, 11:06:51 AM
How much would it cost to exorcise a house that large?

Don't ask me- I fell behind on payments to my exorcist. Then I got repossessed.

Put it on the joke thread!
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: LadyMuMu on July 19, 2017, 11:45:20 AM
But underneath the pool table is the bearskin rug with a golf hat on its head. Walking into this house must be like walking into the pages of a kids' I Spy book.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: meghan88 on July 19, 2017, 02:33:20 PM
It rubs the lotion on its skin...  "The spacious basement includes a fully stone lined guest pit".

Gahhh ... where's the little white poodle?

It was tough, but I think I actually identified two beds, out of all the pictures.  It wasn't easy.  Not bad for a 5-bedroom.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: marielle on July 19, 2017, 02:38:52 PM
Anyone else notice the obscene amount of throw pillows on the beds? Enough to cover the entire floor of the bedrooms I think.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: JoJo on July 19, 2017, 04:00:10 PM
But underneath the pool table is the bearskin rug with a golf hat on its head. Walking into this house must be like walking into the pages of a kids' I Spy book.

Good Idea!  They should totally hide a mannequin dressed like Waldo in there!
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Dicey on July 19, 2017, 08:14:59 PM
This is like trying to look away from a train wreck! Imagine moving all that shit out if/when it ever sells. Where will she put it all next????

Can anyone local report in on how that asking price compares to something of similar size in the area?
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: obstinate on July 19, 2017, 09:06:04 PM
This is the house of a future hoarder who is just barely holding it down. :(
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: AlanStache on July 20, 2017, 05:22:53 AM
This is the house of a future hoarder who is just barely holding it down. :(

I dont know, you put half that amount of stuff in a normal sized home and it would look much worse.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: EricL on July 20, 2017, 10:29:08 AM
I think if I had the money to burn I'd buy the house just to make a bonfire of the contents.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Miss Piggy on July 20, 2017, 03:13:21 PM
I love the descriptions that try ever-so-hard to direct attention to the architectural features (look at those arches! and you can almost see the hardwood floors!) and away from those elephants in the room!

Wait wait wait...You saw elephants? I didn't see any elephants. Were they hiding behind Creepy Mannequin #512?   :)

And on another note, what the hell is a guest pit? Is that code for "burial ground for guests killed by the mannequins in the middle of the night"?
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: annieatwebb on July 20, 2017, 04:44:49 PM

Can anyone local report in on how that asking price compares to something of similar size in the area?

I'm a lurker, but this house is too much, I need to chime in!

The price is a little higher than the other homes in that acreage community, but when you adjust for the size (7,400 sqft!!) it isn’t especially surprising that it was listed at $1.2 Million. On the neighboring street, a home that isn’t stuffed to the rafters with junk is listed for $949,000.  It’s “only” 4,800 sqft, and is on a 1.5 acre lot, rather than a 2 acre lot.  It doesn't back to the creek, or have cattle that you can see from the pool (which is, apparently, a selling point, according to the listing for the crazy house.) 

I expect the owner will be disappointed though – Richmond is far enough outside of Houston that there are plenty of options for people who are looking to spend over a million dollars to buy a few acres.  Until that place is cleaned out and staged, it’s not going to show well. 

The local MLS site has captions with the photos.  (http://www.har.com/4302-colony-west-dr/sale_78077894)  These are my personal favorites:
Photo 1
…”From the moment you enter you will know an ARTIST lives here.”

Photo 8
(Notice the little girl in a swimsuit hanging upside down from the ceiling?)
Caption reads, in part: “…all the bookcases would be hard to fill for most folks.” 

Photo 11
… “Unfortunately the art goes with the artist.”

The listing agent must have spent hours trying to figure out just how to caption these photos!

Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Chesleygirl on July 20, 2017, 09:35:17 PM
The house itself is beautiful, I love the layout. But the clutter is a nightmare. It almost looks like hoarding.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: redbird on July 21, 2017, 12:32:28 AM
Those mannequins on the ceiling are freaking me out. I thought the one in the library was weird, but then I see the kid on the tricycle. And then the bear rug wearing a hat underneath the pool table.

I've looked at a ton of houses on Zillow/Trulia, and I've never seen such weird belongings/decor. And I've seen weird stuff.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: golden1 on July 21, 2017, 05:43:36 AM
I saw the first picture and liked the house, even if it was super excessive.

The interior.....

What realtor in their right mind would publish those pictures?
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: zolotiyeruki on July 21, 2017, 08:04:17 AM
What realtor in their right mind would publish those pictures?
3% of $1.2 million is an awful nice incentive.
Quote
”From the moment you enter you will know an ARTIST lives here.”
No, there's nothing in this house that screams "artist" to me.  I don't see any sculpture, painting, or any sign that anyone is actually creating art.  Spending lavish amounts of money to fill your house with junk does not make you an artist IMO.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: slugline on July 21, 2017, 08:36:06 AM
What realtor in their right mind would publish those pictures?

I think I see an marketing opportunity if she succeeds here. When she is recruiting clients in the future, she can point to this listing and say, "If I can sell the infamous mannequin house, then surely I can sell yours too!"
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: kina on July 21, 2017, 12:15:56 PM
I love the descriptions that try ever-so-hard to direct attention to the architectural features (look at those arches! and you can almost see the hardwood floors!) and away from those elephants in the room!

Wait wait wait...You saw elephants? I didn't see any elephants. Were they hiding behind Creepy Mannequin #512?   :)

And on another note, what the hell is a guest pit? Is that code for "burial ground for guests killed by the mannequins in the middle of the night"?
Keep looking! I'm sure I saw them!

or maybe it was something I ate...or drank...or maybe I hit my head on a flying mannequin...
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Miss Piggy on July 21, 2017, 01:25:12 PM
I think I see an marketing opportunity if she succeeds here. When she is recruiting clients in the future, she can point to this listing and say, "If I can sell the infamous mannequin house, then surely I can sell yours too!"

I think you may be onto something.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: galliver on July 21, 2017, 02:15:10 PM
It seems like at some point it was a curated collection of someone who had a pretty eccentric, quirky style (which is fine, if that's your speed? Who are we to judge if creepy mannequins make you happy?)...and then they went WAY overboard and the stuff took control. Maybe hoarding.

There did seem to be numerous paintings in a similar style so they did seem resident-painted (not sure how marketable they would be; I have few contacts in the art world). If you missed the paintings you were NOT paying attention.

I personally think House on the Rock is pretty cool, but this house has a looong way to go as far as sorting and presentation to achieve that level of entertainment value.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: paddedhat on July 21, 2017, 03:25:32 PM

I personally think House on the Rock is pretty cool, but this house has a looong way to go as far as sorting and presentation to achieve that level of entertainment value.

Agreed, when you reach the 270 carousel animal, 200 foot long, five story whale, level of decorating, it's pretty much game over for the competition.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Chesleygirl on July 21, 2017, 10:32:47 PM
This is my dream house, in remote Siberian village. It's quite the opposite of the anti-mustache house, as you can see.

http://www.reuters.com/news/picture/last-in-a-remote-siberian-village-idUSRTSUXGN

Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Travis on July 22, 2017, 10:54:18 AM
What realtor in their right mind would publish those pictures?
3% of $1.2 million is an awful nice incentive.
Quote
From the moment you enter you will know an ARTIST lives here.”
No, there's nothing in this house that screams "artist" to me.  I don't see any sculpture, painting, or any sign that anyone is actually creating art.  Spending lavish amounts of money to fill your house with junk does not make you an artist IMO.

I can see where the owner perhaps intended to create an art gallery/museum, but I'm calling BS on saying someone lives here. Out of 7400 square feet, you might be able to scrape together 1000 that a person could actually use for habitation.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: TheGrimSqueaker on July 22, 2017, 05:25:08 PM
What realtor in their right mind would publish those pictures?
3% of $1.2 million is an awful nice incentive.
Quote
From the moment you enter you will know an ARTIST lives here.”
No, there's nothing in this house that screams "artist" to me.  I don't see any sculpture, painting, or any sign that anyone is actually creating art.  Spending lavish amounts of money to fill your house with junk does not make you an artist IMO.

I can see where the owner perhaps intended to create an art gallery/museum, but I'm calling BS on saying someone lives here. Out of 7400 square feet, you might be able to scrape together 1000 that a person could actually use for habitation.

Also, it's cleaner than any building with that amount of clutter and dust-collecting material has any right to be. Although in fairness not all the space in all the rooms was shown.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: paddedhat on July 23, 2017, 08:28:50 AM
This is my dream house, in remote Siberian village. It's quite the opposite of the anti-mustache house, as you can see.

http://www.reuters.com/news/picture/last-in-a-remote-siberian-village-idUSRTSUXGN

If you're serious, you could live a very similar lifestyle, and about 95% as remote as Siberia, in rural Alaska. Pretty cheap buy-in too. I've passed through there a few times, it's a sleepy little town in summer, COL is very high, and it gets mind blowing cold, and dark in the winter. I once met a University prof. who retired from the lower 48 and was building a place outside if Tok, in his wife's native village. With the cold and the permafrost, building standard structures can be mess. He was building a ranch house on beams that could be adjusted as the structure moved with the seasons. This was on top of several inches of styrofoam, and gravel, so the heat of the house didn't melt the structure into the permafrost. Weird, but interesting.  Take a look at this place.

https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/Tok-AK/pmf,pf_pt/house_type/2097268606_zpid/14152_rid/globalrelevanceex_sort/65.030423,-139.048462,61.721117,-148.496705_rect/6_zm/
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: hightower on August 02, 2017, 02:54:09 PM
I admire their sense of humor...assuming that they find all of the art and creepy mannequins funny?  Also, they are borderline hoarders if you ask me.  That's not a good way to stage a 1.25 million dollar home for sale.  They need to hire someone to stage it for them and get all of that crap out of there. 
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on August 03, 2017, 12:05:56 AM
This is my dream house, in remote Siberian village. It's quite the opposite of the anti-mustache house, as you can see.

http://www.reuters.com/news/picture/last-in-a-remote-siberian-village-idUSRTSUXGN

Beautiful photos. Thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: By the River on September 08, 2017, 03:38:50 PM
thousands and thousands of houses flooded in the Houston area but our "favorite" didn't
http://www.chron.com/homes/article/Famous-Mannequin-Mansion-in-Richmond-survived-12182906.php (http://www.chron.com/homes/article/Famous-Mannequin-Mansion-in-Richmond-survived-12182906.php)

Title: Re: The anti-mustache house
Post by: Dicey on September 09, 2017, 12:26:17 AM
This is my dream house, in remote Siberian village. It's quite the opposite of the anti-mustache house, as you can see.

http://www.reuters.com/news/picture/last-in-a-remote-siberian-village-idUSRTSUXGN
Interesting, and the captions are pretty hilarious.