Sword guy, at 66 I will not be marrying or cohabitating again. I am in the process of buying a condo for myself. Since both my second and third marriages lasted over 20 years not complete failures. People change over time. My third marriage was super happy until the last 10 years. It was a downhill progression of him hoarding, lying, being so lazy he did nothing all traits he didn’t have previously. I posted on a retirement forum and the stories people tell how their spouses changed in old age are astounding. I would have stayed if it wasn’t for the cheating. Mostly it’s women reporting how grumpy their husbands have gotten.
Lainey, I have a big friend group and the 55 communities are much too expensive where I live. Actually I am not sad at all and looking forward to living by myself with my 2 little doggies. I will no longer be anyone’s maid. The divorce was final last week in only 3 days and relief is the only thing I feel. At one point I was more in love with him than I have been with anyone but the 10 years of stress slowly killed it. I think he was confident that I wouldn’t leave him. He’s not happy that it’s over.
@Cassie Sounds like you have a good solid head on your shoulders.
I'm 50, and I have LOT of friends who are older. I became a quilter at 30, met a lot of wonderful women my mom's age, and so now they are in their 60s and 70s (and 80s).
Most of them are single/ divorced. One of them used to tell me "after my 3rd divorce I realized that I didn't need to be married to get laid." They are especially happy to not have to be maids to others.
I find it fascinating to study and read about the needs of older people. I've read that older men prefer marriage and cohabitation because that is their social interaction, whereas older women tend to have friends. I find this to be true in my own marriage, and it's been that way since our 30s.
Also, I've watched some elderly people change as they age, and it's weird. Sometimes unpredictable. My mother became an alcoholic. My father was fine - always kind of grumpy anyway, and would just be alone or hang out with friends. My stepfather is very social, so he mostly keeps up with family and now has a lady friend he talks to on the phone.
My husband's grandparents - paternal grandparents got really negative and difficult. His maternal grandmother was a lovely lady and social and lovely until the end. She lived in a city (Copenhagen) in a retirement community and had a lot of social interaction.
I can see the advantage to a place like The Villages (I was literally googling that 2 days ago for some reason), because I like to walk and swim. However, if I had to choose, I'd probably choose a condo in the city to retire. As it is, our house is small and in a burb. We'll retire here most likely.
Some of my older friends have had luck in retirement communities that have their own vans to get them to the doctor or to the grocery store.