I can't handle it anymore; I have to talk about my cousin and his wife. We love them dearly, but it's hard not to compare as they are the same age as us (cousin is 5 months older than me, his wife is a month younger than me, and my DH is a year older than me). She is a preschool teacher and my cousin has some type of office job with some graphic design/marketing classes online (not totally sure, just know he went to community college for ~2 years with no degree at all, then a couple year later took these classes so I'm not sure if he transferred in cc classes and got a 4 year degree or not from this online university). They have mentioned they both have student loans though I don't know the amount. LCOL midwest area. "But ours is much nicer" is their typical line to justify things.
About this time last year, they found out they were expecting. During the previous ~6 months to finding out, in which they were semi-trying to start their family, we heard gems such as "We can afford rent so we could afford a mortgage, we just can't afford to save for a down payment; It's stupid to have to save for retirement now, I'd rather have that money and put it down on our student loans and just save a bunch for retirement when I'm 50; If I make an extra few hundred dollar payment to our student loans then I just don't have to pay them for a few months." Also throughout this time - they'd been living together in the same apartment for 5+ years, which was 30%-50% higher in rent than some comparable places (ex: their place 'was much nicer' ie it had 'nicer finishes' which meant dark cabinets/tan laminate counter tops in kitchen and bathrooms, vs all white like a place 3 blocks away that had 200sqft more and was over $300 less per month, but didn't have laundry in unit). Definitely their choice, but I know what DH and I would have done. Spontaneous trip to Europe through one of those Groupon deals - it was such a good deal! New car! Have tried every restaurant in town. Etc etc.
Since finding out they were expecting, they decided they needed to buy a house, trying to beat the end of their lease in June. In this area, you can easily buy a cute updated starter home that's 1000-1800sqft for $110k-$140k (you can also get these NOT updated for <$100k - that's what DH and I would have really done). They bought a $200k, 2400sqft home that was poorly flipped and has a strange layout. It's a tri level that had the kitchen and family room on one level, dining room and formal living room on the second, and bedrooms on the next level. At some point the garage was turned into a family room, and the old family room turned into an eat-in kitchen. My cousin's office is now in the old dining room area, but the formal living room is just empty minus stuff stacked in it since they moved. I think they overpaid since it isn't all usable - it was just slightly less than different layouts that size, and substantially more than the places that were 1500-2000sqft. And the flip was really bad - It sold at the beginning on March and was back on the market 3 weeks later for $70k more. And then it stayed on the market until their offer in June - in a market where most properties didn't even make it to their open house that weekend. I've picked up some things from my FIL on this stuff I didn't know before, but there were lots of things that even without that I was like wtf is going on here... Holes in the wall from pictures weren't filled before painting. Baseboard is all effed up. Kitchen cabinets don't line up with soffit. One cabinet couldn't have a door because there is an air duct in the way. Large awkward unnecessary platforms at the bottom of stairs, that are different heights. Super skinny bathroom door for no reason. Spots where flooring changes run at weird angles. Cousin's wife told me when they were debating an offer that she didn't think it was a good deal, her parents didn't think so, but my cousin and aunt thought it was. I visited about a month after they purchased it and was trying to be nice/positive, saying it was nice and would work well for them plus baby, etc. Cousin is all, eh it's okay, it's got all this weird stuff (though it was things that weren't really weird, not anything from my list). Cousin's wife is like it will be okay for 2-3 years before we upgrade.
Project list after purchase: Update half bath, add master closet because there wasn't one, fence in back yard, new furniture during Labor Day sales (bc you don't want to open a new credit card after buying a house for 0% financing on the furniture, you want to wait 3 months), new kitchen cabinets because they are gross and new kitchen floor at that time (waiting until Christmas/tax return money comes). Also DIYing most with her parents' help, but not knowing what they are doing or educating themselves on it beforehand.
Now, since moving in last July:
Projects I don't know the cost of: new washer/dryer, new flooring for laundry room, fence in back yard (DIY-looks bad...), opened up wall and put in homemade cabinet (now this was weird, there was a 3ftx7ft space closed in between new family and dining rooms, so they opened it and put the tv there), normal painting of rooms.
$500 to update half bath on main floor - paint/floor/new vanity
$900 for couch/tables/lamps for family room in July, financed - sorry my poor heart cannot take $65 a lamp for a plain lamp...
$3000 on new cabinets - exact same style/color, made some cabinets smaller so overall gain: one drawer (because one was false front), 1 upper cabinet, and 1 lower cabinet became more functional. But (do to DIYing/no knowledge) at additional costs of:
$??? Had to replace most drywall/insulation because mice had eaten it behind the cabinets
$??? Had to rewire the dishwasher unexpectedly
$??? Had to cut and replace water line to the fridge because it went through the cupboards
$??? Broke hot water pipe trying to remove lower cabinets
$1700 for a new countertop - the old one was installed incorrectly (bad flip - they cut into the drywall and studs to put it in) but they broke it trying to take it out because they just yanked and yanked (bad DIYers - I know that not everything that happened overall was avoidable, but some was if they had any clue, like the COUNTER)
$??? As planned they replaced kitchen floor - they tried to match the laminate in the dining are, not sure how that went
And then a week ago: We got a new fridge but can't hook it up yet because the outlet is on the side and new fridge is too big to use it, so we have to move the outlet and that's more $$ in drywall/electrical/grumble grumble.
Me: Oh no, that reminds me I didn't get to see the new counter installed (trying to be nice)
Them: Yeah, we still need to buy cabinet hardware. Anyways, here's our new fridge, now it matches!
Me: *looks up fridge on Lowe's as that's where most of their shopping has been* ACK THAT FRIDGE IS AT LEAST $2100 ON SALE!!!!
So over $7k later on the kitchen, we have a kitchen that has like 1 more cabinet of storage, no more functional than before, no more value added than before IMO, a new fridge even though there was nothing wrong with the old one and it matched already too. And they want to add an island (it's not big enough - they should have done a peninsula, that would work). And they're going to get all of this money back out in 2.5 years when they sell and upgrade. Oh yeah, and because the drywall was cut for the counter there is a big uneven gap all along between the counter and backsplash. And the soffit along the upper cabinets isn't straight but they didn't put the trim back up that hid that.
And they think we have no money because we live with my inlaws currently... no matter that we paid off student loans and vehicles, are putting away over $31k into retirement accounts, and are saving a downpayment. Their downpayment was gifted (and DH swears my cousin says they have no PMI, and we know they didn't save a dime of the downpayment). But we travel a decent bit (all on credit card points), so obviously we have no money...