Author Topic: Relatives who just don't get it  (Read 1580550 times)

Sibley

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4450 on: February 04, 2018, 11:36:17 AM »
chaskavitch -- my SIL kept giving our son, aged 14, stuffed animals for birthday / christmas.  He received 3 of them in 2 years.  She lives 4 miles away, so sees him regularly.

Teenage boys aren't really into stuffed animals, but it was from her MLM, so I guess that's ok / worse / IDK....  confused.

Thank goodness for donation.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4451 on: February 04, 2018, 01:55:24 PM »
Also she keeps giving our kid singing stuffed animals for holidays...
Oh my goodness, how I've grown to hate stuffed animals.  Ok, I get that some kids have a special animal that's great for comforting them, etc.  That's absolutely fine.  What I *don't* like is how many people think that they make good gifts, and that the one *they* give will be the one that becomes the treasured toy.  As a result, we have loads of useless, space-hogging stuffed ...things of all sorts cluttering up our house.  We got rid of a whole bunch at/after a yard sale last year, but the kids *still* don't play with any of the ones that are left, except for a few small ones that they chose themselves.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4452 on: February 04, 2018, 01:58:25 PM »
Dogs like stuffed animals. One of my dogs chews off the ears, noses, legs and tails. Stuffing everywhere!

Sibley

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4453 on: February 04, 2018, 02:09:55 PM »
Also she keeps giving our kid singing stuffed animals for holidays...
Oh my goodness, how I've grown to hate stuffed animals.  Ok, I get that some kids have a special animal that's great for comforting them, etc.  That's absolutely fine.  What I *don't* like is how many people think that they make good gifts, and that the one *they* give will be the one that becomes the treasured toy.  As a result, we have loads of useless, space-hogging stuffed ...things of all sorts cluttering up our house.  We got rid of a whole bunch at/after a yard sale last year, but the kids *still* don't play with any of the ones that are left, except for a few small ones that they chose themselves.

Just because someone gives it to you doesn't mean you have to have to keep it.

RWD

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4454 on: February 04, 2018, 03:23:48 PM »
Also she keeps giving our kid singing stuffed animals for holidays...
Oh my goodness, how I've grown to hate stuffed animals.  Ok, I get that some kids have a special animal that's great for comforting them, etc.  That's absolutely fine.  What I *don't* like is how many people think that they make good gifts, and that the one *they* give will be the one that becomes the treasured toy.  As a result, we have loads of useless, space-hogging stuffed ...things of all sorts cluttering up our house.  We got rid of a whole bunch at/after a yard sale last year, but the kids *still* don't play with any of the ones that are left, except for a few small ones that they chose themselves.

Just because someone gives it to you doesn't mean you have to have to keep it.

Both sets of grandparents for my brother-in-law's kid give gifts embroidered with the [unusual] child's name on them... Yep, even the stuffed animals...

Sibley

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4455 on: February 04, 2018, 07:33:49 PM »
Also she keeps giving our kid singing stuffed animals for holidays...
Oh my goodness, how I've grown to hate stuffed animals.  Ok, I get that some kids have a special animal that's great for comforting them, etc.  That's absolutely fine.  What I *don't* like is how many people think that they make good gifts, and that the one *they* give will be the one that becomes the treasured toy.  As a result, we have loads of useless, space-hogging stuffed ...things of all sorts cluttering up our house.  We got rid of a whole bunch at/after a yard sale last year, but the kids *still* don't play with any of the ones that are left, except for a few small ones that they chose themselves.

Just because someone gives it to you doesn't mean you have to have to keep it.

Both sets of grandparents for my brother-in-law's kid give gifts embroidered with the [unusual] child's name on them... Yep, even the stuffed animals...

Easy. Seam ripper and patience. Pull out the embroidery. Can be very soothing actually.

alewpanda

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4456 on: February 05, 2018, 08:54:10 PM »
Also she keeps giving our kid singing stuffed animals for holidays...
Oh my goodness, how I've grown to hate stuffed animals.  Ok, I get that some kids have a special animal that's great for comforting them, etc.  That's absolutely fine.  What I *don't* like is how many people think that they make good gifts, and that the one *they* give will be the one that becomes the treasured toy.  As a result, we have loads of useless, space-hogging stuffed ...things of all sorts cluttering up our house.  We got rid of a whole bunch at/after a yard sale last year, but the kids *still* don't play with any of the ones that are left, except for a few small ones that they chose themselves.

Just because someone gives it to you doesn't mean you have to have to keep it.

Both sets of grandparents for my brother-in-law's kid give gifts embroidered with the [unusual] child's name on them... Yep, even the stuffed animals...

Easy. Seam ripper and patience. Pull out the embroidery. Can be very soothing actually.

I regularly purchase stuffed animals for my dogs from the thrift store for 50 cents a piece.  They destroy them anyway...and they are way cheaper than dog toys!   

Maybe you can find someone local in a similar situation ;)

Prairie Stash

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4457 on: February 09, 2018, 01:55:21 PM »
DH and I cancelled cable earlier this year, both for savings and because we were never watching it.  We just complained about the commercials and wasted $5 at a time renting movies we were too lazy to Redbox or too impatient to wait for on Netflix.  We've been surprisingly happy with it.  I mean, now we're behind on Game of Thrones, and I miss Jeopardy, but otherwise we have much less time wasted watching shows we don't care about just because they're on.

My mother-in-law just bought DH a HD TV antenna for his birthday.  She actually said "I know you don't want this, but if I'm going to be coming up once a month, I need to be able to watch my football." 

Why would you spend $80 (I just looked it up) on your son's 30th birthday on a present you KNOW he doesn't want, and also not get him anything else?  He even sent out a list of things he needs (tools, new work pants, etc.) so we wouldn't get more clutter that wouldn't be used, so I know she had other options.  She does like to buy presents, it's definitely her love language, so that makes it even stranger to me.

DH waited until she was out of earshot and said "I'm kind of sad about the antenna", which made me extra sad.  Plus now he has to make the time to install it either on our roof or in our attic, neither of which tasks are appealing in the slightest.  She might not get her football this year anyway because of our sheer laziness.

So, we have neither put up this antenna nor gotten rid of it.  MIL is in town this weekend, and has generously informed us that she's giving us her recently deceased mother's TV to put in our guest room.  I think she falls asleep with the TV on at home, and also watches late night talk shows when she can't sleep, and wants those options when she comes up for a few days every month or two.  I'm not sure what she thinks she's going to be watching on said TV, though.  Netflix, maybe? 

Just a note - my MIL is a great lady and so nice, I just don't relate to a lot of the things she values that she thinks WE should think are important too.  Also she keeps giving our kid singing stuffed animals for holidays...
https://nocable.org/availability-report/zip/80524-fort-collins-co
I see you get FOX, CBS and ABC for free. I believe they show Jeopardy on ABC.

I find Over The Air (OTA) fun. To install you plug the antenna into the TV. Not exaggerating, it took me 5 minutes the first time, I just plugged it into the TV in the living room and then told the TV to scan for channels. Eventually I moved it to the attic, you can get more channels sometimes (the higher the antenna the longer range stations it can find). Remember, this tech was developed in the 50's, its about as simple as it gets.

Your MIL gave you a gift that replaces cable TV for free. She gave you a gift that enables you to still watch Jeopardy...why would you miss it when you still have it?

iris lily

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4458 on: February 11, 2018, 02:02:08 PM »
Also she keeps giving our kid singing stuffed animals for holidays...
Oh my goodness, how I've grown to hate stuffed animals.  Ok, I get that some kids have a special animal that's great for comforting them, etc.  That's absolutely fine.  What I *don't* like is how many people think that they make good gifts, and that the one *they* give will be the one that becomes the treasured toy.  As a result, we have loads of useless, space-hogging stuffed ...things of all sorts cluttering up our house.  We got rid of a whole bunch at/after a yard sale last year, but the kids *still* don't play with any of the ones that are left, except for a few small ones that they chose themselves.

Just because someone gives it to you doesn't mean you have to have to keep it.

Both sets of grandparents for my brother-in-law's kid give gifts embroidered with the [unusual] child's name on them... Yep, even the stuffed animals...

Easy. Seam ripper and patience. Pull out the embroidery. Can be very soothing actually.

I regularly purchase stuffed animals for my dogs from the thrift store for 50 cents a piece.  They destroy them anyway...and they are way cheaper than dog toys!   

Maybe you can find someone local in a similar situation ;)

I get my big old fat bulldog his ‘wabbits from the thrift sotre. He doesnt tear them up, he sucks on them for hours, very cute it is.

rebel_quietude

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4459 on: February 17, 2018, 12:43:20 PM »



I regularly purchase stuffed animals for my dogs from the thrift store for 50 cents a piece.  They destroy them anyway...and they are way cheaper than dog toys!   

Maybe you can find someone local in a similar situation ;)

Careful, careful please!!
Our beloved lab swallowed some yarn from a the hair of a toy and started puking up everything he ate or drank for 36 hours. $1,300 in surgery costs later, the yarn came out from his intestines. If we had left it another day before going to the vet he wouldn't have survived. Please be careful with toys and dogs!
« Last Edit: February 18, 2018, 01:39:40 AM by rebel_quietude »

chaskavitch

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4460 on: February 17, 2018, 01:36:00 PM »
DH and I cancelled cable earlier this year, both for savings and because we were never watching it.  We just complained about the commercials and wasted $5 at a time renting movies we were too lazy to Redbox or too impatient to wait for on Netflix.  We've been surprisingly happy with it.  I mean, now we're behind on Game of Thrones, and I miss Jeopardy, but otherwise we have much less time wasted watching shows we don't care about just because they're on.

My mother-in-law just bought DH a HD TV antenna for his birthday.  She actually said "I know you don't want this, but if I'm going to be coming up once a month, I need to be able to watch my football." 

Why would you spend $80 (I just looked it up) on your son's 30th birthday on a present you KNOW he doesn't want, and also not get him anything else?  He even sent out a list of things he needs (tools, new work pants, etc.) so we wouldn't get more clutter that wouldn't be used, so I know she had other options.  She does like to buy presents, it's definitely her love language, so that makes it even stranger to me.

DH waited until she was out of earshot and said "I'm kind of sad about the antenna", which made me extra sad.  Plus now he has to make the time to install it either on our roof or in our attic, neither of which tasks are appealing in the slightest.  She might not get her football this year anyway because of our sheer laziness.

So, we have neither put up this antenna nor gotten rid of it.  MIL is in town this weekend, and has generously informed us that she's giving us her recently deceased mother's TV to put in our guest room.  I think she falls asleep with the TV on at home, and also watches late night talk shows when she can't sleep, and wants those options when she comes up for a few days every month or two.  I'm not sure what she thinks she's going to be watching on said TV, though.  Netflix, maybe? 

Just a note - my MIL is a great lady and so nice, I just don't relate to a lot of the things she values that she thinks WE should think are important too.  Also she keeps giving our kid singing stuffed animals for holidays...
https://nocable.org/availability-report/zip/80524-fort-collins-co
I see you get FOX, CBS and ABC for free. I believe they show Jeopardy on ABC.

I find Over The Air (OTA) fun. To install you plug the antenna into the TV. Not exaggerating, it took me 5 minutes the first time, I just plugged it into the TV in the living room and then told the TV to scan for channels. Eventually I moved it to the attic, you can get more channels sometimes (the higher the antenna the longer range stations it can find). Remember, this tech was developed in the 50's, its about as simple as it gets.

Your MIL gave you a gift that replaces cable TV for free. She gave you a gift that enables you to still watch Jeopardy...why would you miss it when you still have it?

You're right.  I was really irritated when she first gave it to us, because it felt like she only gave it to us for her own sake, and because she thought we were crazy.  And I can understand her wanting us to use the gift she gave, and therefore asking/prompting us about putting it up.  We should probably at least try it.

DH didn't want to climb up in the attic where he thought he'd have to install it, and I honestly (as much as I love Jeopardy) don't care to have TV back. 

There are plenty of mindless shows on Netflix, though, so we're not avoiding binging on shows by not having cable, we're only avoiding commercials.  And apparently the Olympics :(

RetiredAt63

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4461 on: February 17, 2018, 02:58:22 PM »

There are plenty of mindless shows on Netflix, though, so we're not avoiding binging on shows by not having cable, we're only avoiding commercials.  And apparently the Olympics :(

I think NBC has lots of online Olympic coverage.  I am getting all mine from CBC online.

nick663

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4462 on: February 17, 2018, 03:04:53 PM »
Olympics is also on NBC over the air broadcast that you could get with that antenna... :)

LeRainDrop

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4463 on: February 17, 2018, 10:46:39 PM »

There are plenty of mindless shows on Netflix, though, so we're not avoiding binging on shows by not having cable, we're only avoiding commercials.  And apparently the Olympics :(

I think NBC has lots of online Olympic coverage.  I am getting all mine from CBC online.

Yup, NBC Sports is broadcasting it all.  If you have an Amazon Firestick, you can download the NBC Sports app and watch everything for free.

penguintroopers

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4464 on: February 18, 2018, 06:58:32 PM »
My hubby and I haven't been paying for our own cell phone bills. We've had the same phones, and have just stayed on our respective parents plan. My phone is on my dad's company policy, which I don't even want to think about how much it costs. Honestly, if I tried to learn more about my dad's financial picture, he could probably fill up pages of this thread. No, today we are looking at my husband's phone, which is on his parents plan.

They pay four hundred dollars a month.

When we heard this, we had no idea how it cost so much. Granted we were looking at getting small data plans with google fi and the like, we were thinking it would be $50/mo for us both... so surely in a family of five, with some randomness and extra fun things, this would be like $200, tops, right?

Turns out some of the things they were paying for were financed phones, like when they left for vacation two years ago. Apparently my FIL went to the store before my MIL and FIL left for an international trip, because BIL (who was like 14 at the time) needed a phone in case of an emergency. When he went into the store asking for a cheap/free phone, apparently the worker interpreted it as "no money down" and gave them an iPhone 4. Somehow they still owe money on this phone, when my SIL has a paid off iPhone 7. (dunno how that math works). Anyway, they owe $300 on a basically worthless phone that's now sitting in a drawer.

Other fun things they were paying for? MIL and FIL have roadside assistance at $10/mo EACH. They have roadside assistance through their car insurance.

They get 10 GB a month for data and go over every month, and have the overage fees and extra data charges to go along with it. MIL uses up at least 50-70% of the data every month, despite the fact she only works 1 day a week and 95% of the data she uses is when she is at home and could just get on the wifi.

Their solution to this jumbo bill they finally decide to get under control? Cut my husband off.

Since we were down there in August (when all this talk about cutting him off was going on) my husband gets a look at the bill and sees the ridiculousness that they're paying for detailed above.  He details a plan to cut the bill in half, while he is still on the plan.

Taking my husband off would have saved them ~$50/mo. Hubby looking at the bill could saved them $200/mo for the last 6 months, but NOTHING has changed.

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4465 on: February 18, 2018, 07:52:08 PM »
Their solution to this jumbo bill they finally decide to get under control? Cut my husband off.

You wanted them to lower their bill. They lowered their bill. They just didn't lower it in a way that best suited you.

If I was subsidising someone who volunteered such a helpful analysis of my spending, I'd cut them off in a heartbeat.

Zamboni

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4466 on: February 19, 2018, 07:21:23 AM »
^^Old enough to be married = old enough to pay your own phone bills. I think they do get that part.

Shrug.

Hula Hoop

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4467 on: February 19, 2018, 10:19:26 AM »
^^Old enough to be married = old enough to pay your own phone bills. I think they do get that part.

Shrug.

I agree.

Goldielocks

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4468 on: February 19, 2018, 03:43:58 PM »
Lord help me....  SIL has posted a gofundme page.

For her daughter to attend national ballet summer academy, so prestigous, but man.  gofundme?!  While not cutting any personal expenses and not even approaching anyone in person first for assistance?  I must be old, but this is so... !! ....

Don't know how I will hold my tongue, I think I may end up posting here a lot.

penguintroopers

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4469 on: February 19, 2018, 05:44:25 PM »
Somethings to clear my above post up:

MIL is in charge of their household finances, but doesn't do a great job of it. My husband asked if they would like help finding more ways to cut the bill, and they agreed. After awhile they found that the problem wasn't really him being on the plan, but above silliness. They decided to take his suggestions and keep him on anyway, but they never changed anything.

Gronnie

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4470 on: February 19, 2018, 06:00:18 PM »
Why don't you just have him pay them $50/mo? That's what I did when I was on my parents plan, and now my parents are on my plan and pay me their portion.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2018, 08:10:21 PM by Gronnie »

penguintroopers

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4471 on: February 19, 2018, 08:09:17 PM »
Why don't you just have him pay them $50/mo? That's why I did when I was on my parents plan, and now my parents are on my plan and pay me their portion.

Honestly, we just never thought about it.

nick663

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4472 on: February 19, 2018, 08:46:30 PM »
Lord help me....  SIL has posted a gofundme page.

For her daughter to attend national ballet summer academy, so prestigous, but man.  gofundme?!  While not cutting any personal expenses and not even approaching anyone in person first for assistance?  I must be old, but this is so... !! ....

Don't know how I will hold my tongue, I think I may end up posting here a lot.
gofundme is a bad joke at this point.  So many people asking for others to finance luxuries or bail them out of mistakes that are the result of poor planning.

Somethings to clear my above post up:

MIL is in charge of their household finances, but doesn't do a great job of it. My husband asked if they would like help finding more ways to cut the bill, and they agreed. After awhile they found that the problem wasn't really him being on the plan, but above silliness. They decided to take his suggestions and keep him on anyway, but they never changed anything.
I was kind of surprised by immattdamon's reply above.  My parents talk openly about their bills with my brother and I.  Hell, I'm the one that gets stuck calling DirecTV once a year to threaten to cancel and get their bill lowered.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2018, 08:48:02 PM by nick663 »

charis

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4473 on: February 20, 2018, 03:07:08 PM »
Why don't you just have him pay them $50/mo? That's why I did when I was on my parents plan, and now my parents are on my plan and pay me their portion.

Honestly, we just never thought about it.

That's a fairly convenient thing to just not think about.  Is it a bit hypocritical to vent about their high phone bill but still have them paying their adult son's cell phone bill?

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4474 on: February 20, 2018, 03:25:03 PM »
Why don't you just have him pay them $50/mo? That's why I did when I was on my parents plan, and now my parents are on my plan and pay me their portion.

Honestly, we just never thought about it.

That's a fairly convenient thing to just not think about.  Is it a bit hypocritical to vent about their high phone bill but still have them paying their adult son's cell phone bill?

Well...

My phone is on my dad's company policy, which I don't even want to think about how much it costs.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4475 on: February 20, 2018, 04:12:35 PM »
I'm actually surprised how often I read "I'm on my parents' plan" on this forum. Is this a normal thing? Just asking, because to me it just sounds so strange.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4476 on: February 20, 2018, 04:20:15 PM »
I'm actually surprised how often I read "I'm on my parents' plan" on this forum. Is this a normal thing? Just asking, because to me it just sounds so strange.

I'd say it's fairly normal for people to support their children financially through the "college" years and into their early 20s, and providing services for the child on a family plan is one way they do it. With vehicle insurance it can make a big difference, since companies assume parents who insure a vehicle in their name for a grown child exercise some control over it. I think the same could be true of family cell phone plans or similar account based services.

Being on a parent's plan is not always freeloading: the person benefiting often contributes toward the bill or helps in some other way. There's definitely something to be said for sharing and taking advantage of group based savings.

alewpanda

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4477 on: February 20, 2018, 04:55:24 PM »
I'm actually surprised how often I read "I'm on my parents' plan" on this forum. Is this a normal thing? Just asking, because to me it just sounds so strange.

I'd say it's fairly normal for people to support their children financially through the "college" years and into their early 20s, and providing services for the child on a family plan is one way they do it. With vehicle insurance it can make a big difference, since companies assume parents who insure a vehicle in their name for a grown child exercise some control over it. I think the same could be true of family cell phone plans or similar account based services.

Being on a parent's plan is not always freeloading: the person benefiting often contributes toward the bill or helps in some other way. There's definitely something to be said for sharing and taking advantage of group based savings.

Agreed.  Many of my siblings and family members are joined on a couple of different accounts to save costs.  They can get costs similar to my no contract plan if they combo enough phones together.  However, all of my siblings, once they either finished college or started their adult life--ish, started paying for their own portion.  I got married halfway through college, and I was kicked off within a month or two.  At the time, they needed the space on the plan for younger siblings, and now I was supporting myself officially. 

The idea of not paying for your portion as an adult.....thats cringy.

HappierAtHome

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4478 on: February 20, 2018, 05:14:41 PM »
I'm actually surprised how often I read "I'm on my parents' plan" on this forum. Is this a normal thing? Just asking, because to me it just sounds so strange.

It always surprises me to see it. I had my own phone plan at 18, and before that I was paying for my own pre-paid phone credit.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4479 on: February 20, 2018, 05:53:42 PM »
I'm over 50 and I just got my own phone and plan 3 months ago. 
......Waiting for heads to explode......

Spoiler: show
Don't cringe, it is my 1st personal cell phone (iphone 3gs) and plan ($2/day if used that day, $25/90days if not).

I've had a company cell phone for about 10 years? 15years? Forgotten details.

Never been on my parent's plan, they've only recently gotten (5years?) cell phones.

Paul der Krake

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4480 on: February 20, 2018, 07:20:23 PM »
Re: phone family plan.

The thing you have to understand is that US phone companies are outrageously expensive. Think, Australian-broadband expensive. Pre-paid plans are only used by advanced consumers and poor people. Family plan discounts make the pill easier to swallow, and it's been done for so long that it's just what people do, regardless of ability to pay.

TomTX

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4481 on: February 20, 2018, 08:16:29 PM »
I'm actually surprised how often I read "I'm on my parents' plan" on this forum. Is this a normal thing? Just asking, because to me it just sounds so strange.

I haven't taken any financial assistance from my parents since I got my undergrad degree - and that was only partial funding for college.

Conversely I have a friend at work who pays for cell phones (and often cars!) for his 3 grown sons. Admittedly they all have a ton of medical school debt and only one is past residency (by a year or two.)

druth

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4482 on: February 20, 2018, 08:48:34 PM »
I'm actually surprised how often I read "I'm on my parents' plan" on this forum. Is this a normal thing? Just asking, because to me it just sounds so strange.

Adding a line to my parents unlimited plan is around $20 a month, and getting the exact same plan for myself is $70 a month.  I'll let them keep paying, thanks.

Purple Economist

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4483 on: February 20, 2018, 08:53:30 PM »
I'm actually surprised how often I read "I'm on my parents' plan" on this forum. Is this a normal thing? Just asking, because to me it just sounds so strange.

Adding a line to my parents unlimited plan is around $20 a month, and getting the exact same plan for myself is $70 a month.  I'll let them keep paying, thanks.

Why do they need to be the ones paying the $20 a month?

MrMoogle

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4484 on: February 21, 2018, 07:48:20 AM »
I'm actually surprised how often I read "I'm on my parents' plan" on this forum. Is this a normal thing? Just asking, because to me it just sounds so strange.

Adding a line to my parents unlimited plan is around $20 a month, and getting the exact same plan for myself is $70 a month.  I'll let them keep paying, thanks.

Why do they need to be the ones paying the $20 a month?
My friend's family does this.  He, his wife, his brother, his sister and his BIL were all on his parents' plan, last time we talked about it.  They each pay the parents some of the bill, and evidently they are saving a ton of money doing it this way. 

merula

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4485 on: February 21, 2018, 08:55:38 AM »
I'd say it's fairly normal for people to support their children financially through the "college" years and into their early 20s, and providing services for the child on a family plan is one way they do it. With vehicle insurance it can make a big difference, since companies assume parents who insure a vehicle in their name for a grown child exercise some control over it. I think the same could be true of family cell phone plans or similar account based services.

Being on a parent's plan is not always freeloading: the person benefiting often contributes toward the bill or helps in some other way. There's definitely something to be said for sharing and taking advantage of group based savings.

I'm on my parents' plan. I've paid for any "extras" I used since I originally got a phone and have been responsible for the "full" cost since graduating from college.

"Full cost" being $30/month for unlimited talk/text and 1GB of data, which is based on the cost of the line and the cost of the shared data divided by use per person. If I were to drop from the plan, my parents wouldn't be able to drop the shared data by just 1GB, so they'd be paying more without me there. From my end, based on my use I'd pay less with Ting or something, but without the perk of, if I do go over, it's not an issue unless everyone in the family goes over. From that perspective, I'm subsidizing my parents' phone bill on average.

Mezzie

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4486 on: February 21, 2018, 08:59:57 AM »
I don't know if they still pay for them, but at one point my little brother and sister, who had gone in together on a cell phone plan to save money, added my parents so they could have smart phones with data (they gave my parents phones as well). Adding the two extra lines under a family plan was a negligible cost for my siblings; getting two lines on their own was prohibitively expensive for my parents.

I thought that was nice of them. :) If it were my parents paying for my siblings' phone plans, I would think it weird.

My parents are retired now (thank goodness for my dad's defined benefit pension!), and they deserve some spoiling from us. Keeping the four of us kids fed and clothed was hard work, and they made a lot of sacrifices for that to happen. I would be appalled if any one of us asked them for financial help in even the smallest way unless it were a dire emergency (and in such a situation, we would all pitch in).

I realize not all family dynamics are the same.

ETA: I'd like to add my parents to my husband's and my Apple Music plan since four people cost the same as two. I keep forgetting to ask them if they're interested. At one point we added my bro and SIL, but they bought things on iTunes pretty frequently and decided it was too inconvenient to pay me back for anything on iTunes they bought (to share, all people on the plan link their iTunes to one credit card). I figured it could have just been added to the rent check they give us each month, but I wasn't going to push or anything.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2018, 09:06:18 AM by Mezzie »

Imma

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4487 on: February 21, 2018, 12:43:06 PM »
Just to clarify, it was genuine surprise, not some kind of judgement from my side. I'm sorry if I came across that way. I'm just really surprised because I've never heard anyone say that irl, not even people who I know get financial support from their parents. But if phone plans are so extremely expensive in the US and people can get a better deal on a family plan and no one feels resentment about it, then sure, go ahead. For comparison: my 1GB/unlimited calls and texts deal costs me around €8,50/month which is around $10. I'm all for sharing accounts and plans to save money, we share our Netflix and Spotify accounts with relatives (but split the cost).

Gronnie

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4488 on: February 21, 2018, 01:26:02 PM »
As everyone has iterated, a family plan for X lines is MUCH cheaper in the US than buying those lines individually. So you go in together on a family plan and then each person pays their share of the bill. Everyone wins (as long as everyone pays that is!)

mm1970

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4489 on: February 21, 2018, 01:26:50 PM »
I'm actually surprised how often I read "I'm on my parents' plan" on this forum. Is this a normal thing? Just asking, because to me it just sounds so strange.

I think it's fairly common, yes.

I'm a dinosaur (late 40s) and thus, have only had a cell phone for about 10 years.  So obviously, not on my parents' plan.

But many of my younger coworkers (aged <30) are on their parents' plans, because they got a phone in HS, and kept it in college, and kept it after, and...?  I think it's just different when it's something you've always had.  One of my coworkers once said "my brother took my upgrade", and she was 25, and I thought it was weird.  But you can be on your parents' health insurance until 26 now.  My sister helps out her (under employed) children.

I also have older coworkers with children in their 20's and they are all on the same plans because there are good deals.  But it depends - some of them have their kids paying them for it.

I would think that when you get a job and a car and start paying your own car insurance, that you would take on your own cell phone bill - but remember, cell phones move WITH you, so it's not like you move from Philadelphia to Denver and change your number.

MrMoogle

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4490 on: February 21, 2018, 02:23:25 PM »
Just to clarify, it was genuine surprise, not some kind of judgement from my side. I'm sorry if I came across that way. I'm just really surprised because I've never heard anyone say that irl, not even people who I know get financial support from their parents. But if phone plans are so extremely expensive in the US and people can get a better deal on a family plan and no one feels resentment about it, then sure, go ahead. For comparison: my 1GB/unlimited calls and texts deal costs me around €8,50/month which is around $10. I'm all for sharing accounts and plans to save money, we share our Netflix and Spotify accounts with relatives (but split the cost).
As a reference, Ting, which is the cheapest thing I can find, is $~17/month for 100 minutes, 100 texts, and 100MB.
AT&T has a 1GB/unlimited calls and texts for $35/month.

coldestcat

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4491 on: February 21, 2018, 02:46:30 PM »
I was on my parents plan until maybe 22 or so. Then paid for my own bill for a while. At some point my mom said she was paying for my sister's account so she wanted to pay for mine as well to be fair. I let her do that until a little before I got married.

My wife and I went over their bill and with info from this site we moved away from ATTs $250/mo to cricket $100/mo family plan where me, wife, mom, & Step dad pay $25 each. Then we found out you can add a fifth line for free. We added my FIL and instead of giving him a free line, everyone pays $20 instead/mo. I have the money come out of my account and everyone pays me monthly.

mtn

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4492 on: February 21, 2018, 03:56:16 PM »
My wife and I stayed on our parents plans until well over a year after we were married. It made literally no difference for my wife's parents if she got off, and for me it was something like $5 a month difference. I tried to give them $100 a year for it, they said don't bother.

We got off the parental plans after we needed new phones, since it was cheaper that way. Cell phones and their plans make my blood pressure rise.

ChipmunkSavings

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4493 on: February 21, 2018, 06:20:09 PM »
I kept my cell phone on my parents' plan for years, because I had a cheap plan that was no longer offered as I had kept the same cell phone for 6 years. My grandfathered 15$ a month no-frills plan is no longer available, and the cheapest plans start at 35$ a month for the same company. I eventually switched when I moved out, as I needed a answering machine (which did not come in my initial plan).

Sibley

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4494 on: February 21, 2018, 06:30:46 PM »
I'm on the family plan. It also includes my sister, mom, and dad. Sister manages it. Not sure how she got stuck with that job, but glad it's not me. I send money monthly to her for my portion, and a little extra since she's subsidizing the parents. The plan as a whole gets a massive discount through dad's work, and also a reimbursement to cover the cost of him using his phone for work.

I've looked into separating, and it's just not worth it. My sister handles the bill, that's valuable to me.

Dicey

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4495 on: February 21, 2018, 07:49:56 PM »
Our family of four three competent adults was paying $100/month total for a very generous plan. We discovered we could add another user for $1 more a month, plus the cost of an Android phone. A friend on the other coast is having a rough go of it these days, so we added her, bought a phone and had it shipped to her. Felt good then; still does.

SwordGuy

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4496 on: February 21, 2018, 09:49:37 PM »
Our family of four three competent adults was paying $100/month total for a very generous plan. We discovered we could add another user for $1 more a month, plus the cost of an Android phone. A friend on the other coast is having a rough go of it these days, so we added her, bought a phone and had it shipped to her. Felt good then; still does.

Yeah, you!

Apples

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4497 on: February 22, 2018, 06:52:30 AM »
Guys can we please go back to relatives who don't get it now...

MrRichards

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4498 on: February 22, 2018, 07:54:13 AM »
I've got one. It's horrific from the inside but probably entertaining from the outside.

Cast of characters:
Brother (deceased)
SIL (widow)
Nephew/Nieces (children of Brother)
Mother (mine and Brother's)

Brother died suddenly a few weeks ago. We knew he was in poor health, but he had a massive heart attack that came out of nowhere. SIL is in shock; they'd been married 40 years.

Brother's children are, understandably, hurting, so I'd be inclined to forgive any minor slights. However:
-Nephew/Nieces are already going through SIL's house to clean out Brother's things. I don't know if SIL asked them to do this, but my guess is not. Nephew seems to be angling to move his family in with SIL, because they are currently living for free with his MIL but would probably prefer to live with his mother. This seems like a lot to put on SIL so soon, but she's never been able to say no to her children, so this might be her own doing. (Also, it's somewhat of a tradition in our family to offer small household items to the extended family after death. There are some small things I've given my brother over the years that it would mean the world to me to have back, but that are probably going to Goodwill.)

-Nephew and nieces collaborated on the obituary; no one else was asked. No one outside of SIL, nephew/nieces and their spouses and children were listed as survivors, despite me AND OUR MOTHER both still living. Look, I know it sucks to lose your dad, I was younger than them when I lost mine. It's worse to lose a child.

-Our dad died forever ago. The obit misspelled his name.

-One version of the obit specifically referenced my niece's MLM scam, in an attempt to drum up business?

-"In lieu of flowers, please send memorials to the family." Memorials in this case being a euphemism for cash. SIL is not hurting for cash, and this isn't something where there are large medical bills. Her children may be hurting for cash but if so it's from their own poor behavior.

My mother is LIVID. "I'm not giving them a dime, they're just going to spend it on something stupid."

MrRichards

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #4499 on: February 22, 2018, 08:39:39 AM »
In a version of the obit that was shared via social media (not the newspaper version), it mentions how Brother enjoyed the MLM product and how MLM product is helping SIL with her grief.