Author Topic: Relatives who just don't get it  (Read 3478728 times)

Hall11235

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #350 on: July 13, 2015, 11:43:57 AM »
Well Mtn, thank you for pointing out all of my hyperbole and imprecise knowledge of excessively sized trucks. lol.
And yes, his boat has two Mercury outboard engines.

 

mtn

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #351 on: July 13, 2015, 11:53:28 AM »
Well Mtn, thank you for pointing out all of my hyperbole and imprecise knowledge of excessively sized trucks. lol.
And yes, his boat has two Mercury outboard engines.

Is he going out on Mille Lacs or Superior? That really is overkill.

And I also pointed out your imprecise knowledge of compact cars, because I could :P

Hall11235

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #352 on: July 13, 2015, 12:00:15 PM »
He fishes on Lower Whitefish lake. It's up near Pequot Lakes, about an hour North of Brainerd. If it's overkill on Mille Lacs, it is overkill on Lower Whitefish.

Syonyk

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #353 on: July 13, 2015, 05:12:40 PM »
Can you even /buy/ a gas F350? I though it was pretty much mandatory to have a diesel.

NoraLenderbee

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #354 on: July 13, 2015, 10:19:03 PM »

His vehicle NEEDS to match the color of his Bass boat.
 . . .
"Rugby is for the Gays."

His boat has to match his truck, and he's calling other men gay? That's hysterical.

Hall11235

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #355 on: July 14, 2015, 06:21:36 AM »
Syonyk:
Yep, you can buy an F-350 without diesel. Both my uncle and my stepfather have one. Costs them 110 dollars each way to get to our cabin.

NoraLenderbee:
The funny thing is that he alternates between silver and red. That's it.

infogoon

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #356 on: July 14, 2015, 07:24:59 AM »

His vehicle NEEDS to match the color of his Bass boat.
 . . .
"Rugby is for the Gays."

His boat has to match his truck, and he's calling other men gay? That's hysterical.

It matches his truck _and_ his shoes.

10dollarsatatime

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #357 on: July 14, 2015, 02:47:50 PM »
Same brother as always...

We ran into each other at the grocery store.  He was driving a new giant truck.  I don't know what it was.  I don't care.  I know he doesn't need it either way.  They got rid of all the horses a couple of months ago.  And then this conversation:

B: I went to the dealership.  Told them I as $12,000 underwater on this stupid Nissan (insert name of SUV here) that I hate, and I asked for the guy that fixes the problem.  Now I'm only $9,000 underwater on this truck!

And a couple of minutes later:

B: We've paid off enough debt now that we could get an RV!
Me: Why?
B: To go camping.
Me: That's what tents are for.
B: But the beds and stove and (continuing list of things RVs have that tents don't.)
Me: OR. You could take that money and use it to pay off this truck faster.
B: What's the point?  I'm only going to have it for a couple of years.

Facepalm.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #358 on: July 14, 2015, 04:56:05 PM »
Nah. Real men dance.

Or as my DD and her friends used to say "If Irish Dance were easy it would be called hockey."


He is also known for his incredibly awful and ridiculous statements such as:
"Rugby is for the Gays. Real men play hockey"

Zamboni

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #359 on: July 14, 2015, 05:58:27 PM »
^It's true: no one gets laid more than straight male dancers.

^^Thanks to another thread I have learned that the appropriate name for what he is planning to do with his RV is "Glamping", not camping.

bzzzt

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #360 on: July 14, 2015, 06:02:50 PM »
Can you even /buy/ a gas F350? I though it was pretty much mandatory to have a diesel.

Now it's either the 6.2L V8 or the B20 diesel. My company truck has the 6.2L with the 6-speed and it's my favorite off-roader so far. Electronic locking rear diff, manual transfer case, manual front hubs, and it doesn't sink the front axle like a diesel. Gets great fuel economy for a 1-ton 4x4 on all terrain tires. 13.5MPG highway @ 65MPH! Definitely not Mustachian.

K-ice

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #361 on: July 14, 2015, 08:05:49 PM »
I got in an argument with my BIL.

He was all proud. "I don't have a mortgage."

I know that's not correct since they have only been in their house a few years and make under 100K

He explains
"I have a LoC (over 260K) so I only need to pay the interest."

He says that like it's a good thing.

I explain that it is basically the same as a mtg, even worse in his case because he is not paying the principal. In fact on my house we also have a large LoC instead of a mortgage. But I still refer to it as a mtg until it was paid off.

He is still acts like I should be popping the Champagne for him.




Zamboni

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #362 on: July 14, 2015, 08:42:48 PM »
^If his house is collateral, which I'm sure it is unless he has some other giant assets that he put up to get such a large line of credit, it is basically a mortgage regardless of what he wants to call it. Of course you already know that. I'm not sure when the banks renamed "second mortgage" a "home equity line of credit", but it was a stroke of marketing genius.

WGH

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #363 on: July 14, 2015, 09:32:23 PM »
Oh I've got stories for days regarding my in laws. These are the stereotypical kids who give the rest of the millenials a bad name. When people say you are only poor because you are lazy it's these idiots that make the case for them.

Oh where to even begin. Let's start with the overview. 4 kids all in their 30s all living with or crashing with at various times during a week with their mother. Now my MIL does not work she is disabled and lives off of some crazy combination of disability and her deceased husbands SS and military pension and this nets a tidy sum of about $4,000 a month. Back to the 4 kids all are unemployed with student loan debt up the yin yang. One sells some pyramid scheme bath product crap here and there but that's about it. Oh they live in a three bedroom apartment and have been forcibly removed from at least 5 residences in the last 5 years for non payment of rent. During these evictions she stores her stuff and has lost storage spaces for non payment I don't know how many times. She has had to purchase new furniture so many times and it's always rent a center scheme type stuff. Her rent is reasonable about $1,000 a month but her utilities everywhere she goes are insane like $500 a month water bills! My wife says it's always been like that even growing up. They shower, wash a ton of clothes idk wtf but there you are. They also eat out all the time? Why? No one wants to buy groceries because the others will eat anything not nailed down! My SIL started hoarding food which caused ants and other bugs in the closet! MIL is currently being dragged into court for this place too so we will see if she gets evicted again. How can she not afford the rent? Let's go down the roster:

My BIL is a gym rat who works out all the time and then parties all night and sleeps all day. He couldn't attend his nephew (my sons) birthday party last week because it was at 4pm on a Sunday and was still asleep. When BIL is awake he uses MILs debit card to rack up gym memberships, protein powder, etc but wait it gets worse! He just bought a Costco membership but doesn't own a car. So he uses Uber to drive him the 1 1/2 miles to Costco and then another back to carry the groceries! He used her debit card last month to pay off warrants which ate up most of MIL money which caused the eviction! This type of activity is what caused the last 5 evictions and when it's pack up and get out time who does the packing? MIL ALL BY HERSELF! All the kids even without vehicles somehow manage to get out of dodge and help not a lick! He has a son by some one night stand who he never sees and apparently is being abused by the new boyfriend. He won't get a job to get a lawyer to fight for custody however. He's wrecked at least three cars that MIL bought cash with the life insurance money her husband left her when he died. One of those was a $40k Dodge Charger bought cash. All vehicles were wrecked due to drunk driving by the way. Hitting medians and breaking at least two axles. BIL has had several DWIs. They've also lost at least three other vehicles to title loans. And I am talking about $50k Mercedes ML500 paid off taken for nonpayment of a $5,000 title loan!

Second BIL is just a drifter who couch surfs 24/7 best that I can tell. Multiple DWIs, takes money from MIL. Does nothing with his life. Years ago he had his life kind of straight. He was with a girl and MIL paid for the deposit on a new build KB home. something like $20k for them. They break up and the home and the deposit end up lost for nothing. This had happened before when MIL had put down something like $50k on a McMansion. Like 4500 sq ft type. Lost that one too but at least that was meant for the whole zoo. I remember on MILs birthday one year they asked HER for money to take a trip to Houston to go party. She pays all their bills remember and they didn't so much as buy her a card but instead took money from her to go drink! I swear I am not making this stuff up....

SIL has the daughter who lives at the zoo. Years ago she makes MIL buy two brand new Jeep Grand Cherokees one for her and one for the baby daddy. She also has MIL furnish and renovate his house something like $100k. After all of this they break up and he kicks her and his daughter out. Keeping the truck and house. Now she's about to be 40 and desperately wanted another baby. So instead of you know looking for a partner to love, cherish, marry, etc. she hooks up with some guy she meets at a hotel. She's now pregnant and has no contact info for the guy and never will and decided to quit her job at the front desk of the hotel (where she met the guy) to raise the kid.

So TL;DR my MIL received a large life insurance payout when her husband died and has blown through near as I can tell $500-$700k on mainly cars, eating out, and deposits on new construction homes that fell through. She now supports four 30 year olds and their kids on SSDI and a military pension. All of whom treat her like crap and she's had multiple heart attacks. We've begged her to come and live with us on the condition that the leeches are not welcome. No dice on that.

<drops mic>

slugline

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #364 on: July 14, 2015, 09:39:59 PM »
<drops mic>

:: claps ::

I can't decide whether to say you may be the "biggest winner" in this thread . . . or the "biggest loser." Somehow both sound correct.

tofuchampion

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #365 on: July 14, 2015, 09:45:42 PM »
How does she keep getting leases with so many evictions? Hell, with even one eviction?

MrStash2000

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #366 on: July 14, 2015, 09:50:18 PM »
Oh I've got stories for days regarding my in laws. These are the stereotypical kids who give the rest of the millenials a bad name. When people say you are only poor because you are lazy it's these idiots that make the case for them.

Oh where to even begin. Let's start with the overview. 4 kids all in their 30s all living with or crashing with at various times during a week with their mother. Now my MIL does not work she is disabled and lives off of some crazy combination of disability and her deceased husbands SS and military pension and this nets a tidy sum of about $4,000 a month. Back to the 4 kids all are unemployed with student loan debt up the yin yang. One sells some pyramid scheme bath product crap here and there but that's about it. Oh they live in a three bedroom apartment and have been forcibly removed from at least 5 residences in the last 5 years for non payment of rent. During these evictions she stores her stuff and has lost storage spaces for non payment I don't know how many times. She has had to purchase new furniture so many times and it's always rent a center scheme type stuff. Her rent is reasonable about $1,000 a month but her utilities everywhere she goes are insane like $500 a month water bills! My wife says it's always been like that even growing up. They shower, wash a ton of clothes idk wtf but there you are. They also eat out all the time? Why? No one wants to buy groceries because the others will eat anything not nailed down! My SIL started hoarding food which caused ants and other bugs in the closet! MIL is currently being dragged into court for this place too so we will see if she gets evicted again. How can she not afford the rent? Let's go down the roster:

My BIL is a gym rat who works out all the time and then parties all night and sleeps all day. He couldn't attend his nephew (my sons) birthday party last week because it was at 4pm on a Sunday and was still asleep. When BIL is awake he uses MILs debit card to rack up gym memberships, protein powder, etc but wait it gets worse! He just bought a Costco membership but doesn't own a car. So he uses Uber to drive him the 1 1/2 miles to Costco and then another back to carry the groceries! He used her debit card last month to pay off warrants which ate up most of MIL money which caused the eviction! This type of activity is what caused the last 5 evictions and when it's pack up and get out time who does the packing? MIL ALL BY HERSELF! All the kids even without vehicles somehow manage to get out of dodge and help not a lick! He has a son by some one night stand who he never sees and apparently is being abused by the new boyfriend. He won't get a job to get a lawyer to fight for custody however. He's wrecked at least three cars that MIL bought cash with the life insurance money her husband left her when he died. One of those was a $40k Dodge Charger bought cash. All vehicles were wrecked due to drunk driving by the way. Hitting medians and breaking at least two axles. BIL has had several DWIs. They've also lost at least three other vehicles to title loans. And I am talking about $50k Mercedes ML500 paid off taken for nonpayment of a $5,000 title loan!

Second BIL is just a drifter who couch surfs 24/7 best that I can tell. Multiple DWIs, takes money from MIL. Does nothing with his life. Years ago he had his life kind of straight. He was with a girl and MIL paid for the deposit on a new build KB home. something like $20k for them. They break up and the home and the deposit end up lost for nothing. This had happened before when MIL had put down something like $50k on a McMansion. Like 4500 sq ft type. Lost that one too but at least that was meant for the whole zoo. I remember on MILs birthday one year they asked HER for money to take a trip to Houston to go party. She pays all their bills remember and they didn't so much as buy her a card but instead took money from her to go drink! I swear I am not making this stuff up....

SIL has the daughter who lives at the zoo. Years ago she makes MIL buy two brand new Jeep Grand Cherokees one for her and one for the baby daddy. She also has MIL furnish and renovate his house something like $100k. After all of this they break up and he kicks her and his daughter out. Keeping the truck and house. Now she's about to be 40 and desperately wanted another baby. So instead of you know looking for a partner to love, cherish, marry, etc. she hooks up with some guy she meets at a hotel. She's now pregnant and has no contact info for the guy and never will and decided to quit her job at the front desk of the hotel (where she met the guy) to raise the kid.

So TL;DR my MIL received a large life insurance payout when her husband died and has blown through near as I can tell $500-$700k on mainly cars, eating out, and deposits on new construction homes that fell through. She now supports four 30 year olds and their kids on SSDI and a military pension. All of whom treat her like crap and she's had multiple heart attacks. We've begged her to come and live with us on the condition that the leeches are not welcome. No dice on that.

<drops mic>

Halfway through I was like this is soooooo drop mic level..... And then you did.

Bravo!

You do not happen to live in New Jersey?

WGH

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #367 on: July 14, 2015, 09:51:20 PM »
How does she keep getting leases with so many evictions? Hell, with even one eviction?

It's finally caught up with her. No property management company in town will touch her.

Some of the kids put the places in their names with fake check stubs from friends who own businesses.

She also rents houses from individuals who don't check credit, references, etc.

I could literally go on for days I'm thinking of starting a blog about their life....

WGH

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #368 on: July 14, 2015, 09:52:11 PM »
Oh I've got stories for days regarding my in laws. These are the stereotypical kids who give the rest of the millenials a bad name. When people say you are only poor because you are lazy it's these idiots that make the case for them.

Oh where to even begin. Let's start with the overview. 4 kids all in their 30s all living with or crashing with at various times during a week with their mother. Now my MIL does not work she is disabled and lives off of some crazy combination of disability and her deceased husbands SS and military pension and this nets a tidy sum of about $4,000 a month. Back to the 4 kids all are unemployed with student loan debt up the yin yang. One sells some pyramid scheme bath product crap here and there but that's about it. Oh they live in a three bedroom apartment and have been forcibly removed from at least 5 residences in the last 5 years for non payment of rent. During these evictions she stores her stuff and has lost storage spaces for non payment I don't know how many times. She has had to purchase new furniture so many times and it's always rent a center scheme type stuff. Her rent is reasonable about $1,000 a month but her utilities everywhere she goes are insane like $500 a month water bills! My wife says it's always been like that even growing up. They shower, wash a ton of clothes idk wtf but there you are. They also eat out all the time? Why? No one wants to buy groceries because the others will eat anything not nailed down! My SIL started hoarding food which caused ants and other bugs in the closet! MIL is currently being dragged into court for this place too so we will see if she gets evicted again. How can she not afford the rent? Let's go down the roster:

My BIL is a gym rat who works out all the time and then parties all night and sleeps all day. He couldn't attend his nephew (my sons) birthday party last week because it was at 4pm on a Sunday and was still asleep. When BIL is awake he uses MILs debit card to rack up gym memberships, protein powder, etc but wait it gets worse! He just bought a Costco membership but doesn't own a car. So he uses Uber to drive him the 1 1/2 miles to Costco and then another back to carry the groceries! He used her debit card last month to pay off warrants which ate up most of MIL money which caused the eviction! This type of activity is what caused the last 5 evictions and when it's pack up and get out time who does the packing? MIL ALL BY HERSELF! All the kids even without vehicles somehow manage to get out of dodge and help not a lick! He has a son by some one night stand who he never sees and apparently is being abused by the new boyfriend. He won't get a job to get a lawyer to fight for custody however. He's wrecked at least three cars that MIL bought cash with the life insurance money her husband left her when he died. One of those was a $40k Dodge Charger bought cash. All vehicles were wrecked due to drunk driving by the way. Hitting medians and breaking at least two axles. BIL has had several DWIs. They've also lost at least three other vehicles to title loans. And I am talking about $50k Mercedes ML500 paid off taken for nonpayment of a $5,000 title loan!

Second BIL is just a drifter who couch surfs 24/7 best that I can tell. Multiple DWIs, takes money from MIL. Does nothing with his life. Years ago he had his life kind of straight. He was with a girl and MIL paid for the deposit on a new build KB home. something like $20k for them. They break up and the home and the deposit end up lost for nothing. This had happened before when MIL had put down something like $50k on a McMansion. Like 4500 sq ft type. Lost that one too but at least that was meant for the whole zoo. I remember on MILs birthday one year they asked HER for money to take a trip to Houston to go party. She pays all their bills remember and they didn't so much as buy her a card but instead took money from her to go drink! I swear I am not making this stuff up....

SIL has the daughter who lives at the zoo. Years ago she makes MIL buy two brand new Jeep Grand Cherokees one for her and one for the baby daddy. She also has MIL furnish and renovate his house something like $100k. After all of this they break up and he kicks her and his daughter out. Keeping the truck and house. Now she's about to be 40 and desperately wanted another baby. So instead of you know looking for a partner to love, cherish, marry, etc. she hooks up with some guy she meets at a hotel. She's now pregnant and has no contact info for the guy and never will and decided to quit her job at the front desk of the hotel (where she met the guy) to raise the kid.

So TL;DR my MIL received a large life insurance payout when her husband died and has blown through near as I can tell $500-$700k on mainly cars, eating out, and deposits on new construction homes that fell through. She now supports four 30 year olds and their kids on SSDI and a military pension. All of whom treat her like crap and she's had multiple heart attacks. We've begged her to come and live with us on the condition that the leeches are not welcome. No dice on that.

<drops mic>

Halfway through I was like this is soooooo drop mic level..... And then you did.

Bravo!

You do not happen to live in New Jersey?

Nope Albuquerque, New Mexico

vern

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #369 on: July 15, 2015, 12:53:46 AM »
WGH, your inlaws should have their own reality show!

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #370 on: July 15, 2015, 06:41:28 AM »
.

Wow man - fucking wow.

Do you ever find their habits in your wife? Do you have a hard time fighting her natural urges to be like them? Just curious.

jba302

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #371 on: July 15, 2015, 07:36:59 AM »

But it gets worse- His vehicle NEEDS to match the color of his Bass boat. And folks, he's not towing that incredibly light fiberglass bass boat with a Honda Fit. He uses, of course, the F-350 Superduty V12 Triton! Custom job of course, with the jacked up tires. He buys a new boat and a new truck every two years, and they always match. he has been doing this for at least ten years.


I was out on one of those pseudo-fancy lake Minnetonka dinner cruises last weekend with my wife's ex-husband (they paid for it, I sure as hell would not have coughed up $60 a ticket for mediocre food and a tour of the largest non-castle homes around). Good people, we get along well but this guy knows how to burn a dollar. He spent most of the time being annoyed for not being able to afford the houses on the lake. This is a guy that makes $180k+ a year with bonus, plus his wife's whatever salary putting them just over 200, and has probably maxed out most of his credit cards. Their hobbies include drinking, buying guitars (for the moment, last time it was RC airplanes) and staying in hotels in Minneapolis for the weekend (25 minutes away), while still not having a house paid off that he's lived in for 2 decades. His only non-insane spend recently was a Kia, which I suspect is because his monthly cash spend on interest payments is becoming an issue finally.

I also saw one of these trolling around the Excelsior dock -
http://crownline.com/330-sy/ 

$220k 860HP boat used exclusively for cruising around at walking speed and will never touch salt water let alone Lake Superior.

Hall11235

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #372 on: July 15, 2015, 07:43:18 AM »
That behavior is not uncommon on those lakes. People will buy palatial faux-log mansions and literally only use them 2 months out of the year (The two months it's not arctic temperatures) and then not touch them. They don't rent them out, either. These are people who use "summer" as a verb- as in, "I summer in Pequot, but live in Eden Prairie." Eden Prairie is one of those place where money actually grows on trees.

onehair

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #373 on: July 15, 2015, 07:47:51 AM »
I am actually speechless.  Makes my own sorry relatives look almost tame. 

wenchsenior

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #374 on: July 15, 2015, 09:02:07 AM »
Oh I've got stories for days regarding my in laws. These are the stereotypical kids who give the rest of the millenials a bad name. When people say you are only poor because you are lazy it's these idiots that make the case for them.

Oh where to even begin. Let's start with the overview. 4 kids all in their 30s all living with or crashing with at various times during a week with their mother. Now my MIL does not work she is disabled and lives off of some crazy combination of disability and her deceased husbands SS and military pension and this nets a tidy sum of about $4,000 a month. Back to the 4 kids all are unemployed with student loan debt up the yin yang. One sells some pyramid scheme bath product crap here and there but that's about it. Oh they live in a three bedroom apartment and have been forcibly removed from at least 5 residences in the last 5 years for non payment of rent. During these evictions she stores her stuff and has lost storage spaces for non payment I don't know how many times. She has had to purchase new furniture so many times and it's always rent a center scheme type stuff. Her rent is reasonable about $1,000 a month but her utilities everywhere she goes are insane like $500 a month water bills! My wife says it's always been like that even growing up. They shower, wash a ton of clothes idk wtf but there you are. They also eat out all the time? Why? No one wants to buy groceries because the others will eat anything not nailed down! My SIL started hoarding food which caused ants and other bugs in the closet! MIL is currently being dragged into court for this place too so we will see if she gets evicted again. How can she not afford the rent? Let's go down the roster:

My BIL is a gym rat who works out all the time and then parties all night and sleeps all day. He couldn't attend his nephew (my sons) birthday party last week because it was at 4pm on a Sunday and was still asleep. When BIL is awake he uses MILs debit card to rack up gym memberships, protein powder, etc but wait it gets worse! He just bought a Costco membership but doesn't own a car. So he uses Uber to drive him the 1 1/2 miles to Costco and then another back to carry the groceries! He used her debit card last month to pay off warrants which ate up most of MIL money which caused the eviction! This type of activity is what caused the last 5 evictions and when it's pack up and get out time who does the packing? MIL ALL BY HERSELF! All the kids even without vehicles somehow manage to get out of dodge and help not a lick! He has a son by some one night stand who he never sees and apparently is being abused by the new boyfriend. He won't get a job to get a lawyer to fight for custody however. He's wrecked at least three cars that MIL bought cash with the life insurance money her husband left her when he died. One of those was a $40k Dodge Charger bought cash. All vehicles were wrecked due to drunk driving by the way. Hitting medians and breaking at least two axles. BIL has had several DWIs. They've also lost at least three other vehicles to title loans. And I am talking about $50k Mercedes ML500 paid off taken for nonpayment of a $5,000 title loan!

Second BIL is just a drifter who couch surfs 24/7 best that I can tell. Multiple DWIs, takes money from MIL. Does nothing with his life. Years ago he had his life kind of straight. He was with a girl and MIL paid for the deposit on a new build KB home. something like $20k for them. They break up and the home and the deposit end up lost for nothing. This had happened before when MIL had put down something like $50k on a McMansion. Like 4500 sq ft type. Lost that one too but at least that was meant for the whole zoo. I remember on MILs birthday one year they asked HER for money to take a trip to Houston to go party. She pays all their bills remember and they didn't so much as buy her a card but instead took money from her to go drink! I swear I am not making this stuff up....

SIL has the daughter who lives at the zoo. Years ago she makes MIL buy two brand new Jeep Grand Cherokees one for her and one for the baby daddy. She also has MIL furnish and renovate his house something like $100k. After all of this they break up and he kicks her and his daughter out. Keeping the truck and house. Now she's about to be 40 and desperately wanted another baby. So instead of you know looking for a partner to love, cherish, marry, etc. she hooks up with some guy she meets at a hotel. She's now pregnant and has no contact info for the guy and never will and decided to quit her job at the front desk of the hotel (where she met the guy) to raise the kid.

So TL;DR my MIL received a large life insurance payout when her husband died and has blown through near as I can tell $500-$700k on mainly cars, eating out, and deposits on new construction homes that fell through. She now supports four 30 year olds and their kids on SSDI and a military pension. All of whom treat her like crap and she's had multiple heart attacks. We've begged her to come and live with us on the condition that the leeches are not welcome. No dice on that.

<drops mic>

Halfway through I was like this is soooooo drop mic level..... And then you did.

Bravo!

You do not happen to live in New Jersey?

Nope Albuquerque, New Mexico

This is, hands down, the single most horrifying post I've ever read on this board.

SpicyMcHaggus

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #375 on: July 15, 2015, 09:41:20 AM »
This is why I never tell people my net worth.
I made the same income as you(people i know). I got here by not wasting it.
It's not my fault you're incompetent with money.

zephyr911

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #376 on: July 15, 2015, 10:36:40 AM »
Same brother as always...

We ran into each other at the grocery store.  He was driving a new giant truck.  I don't know what it was.  I don't care.  I know he doesn't need it either way.  They got rid of all the horses a couple of months ago.  And then this conversation:

B: I went to the dealership.  Told them I as $12,000 underwater on this stupid Nissan (insert name of SUV here) that I hate, and I asked for the guy that fixes the problem.  Now I'm only $9,000 underwater on this truck!
Facepunch for having a vehicle you hate in the first place. Obviously he loved it at purchase time but didn't check it out well enough to find all the shit he ended up hating.
I'm guessing it was a Nissan Armada (their biggest SUV, and cool-looking IMHO but your classic 15mpg trainwreck of waste).

zephyr911

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #377 on: July 15, 2015, 10:45:41 AM »
Oh I've got stories for days regarding my in laws.

***HOLY FUCKING SHIT***

<drops mic>

I just did a LITERAL headdesk, in the office, with CWs around. Who are these people, that I may mount a covert mission to sterilize them all before they fucking breed?*

*any more

Vertical Mode

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #378 on: July 15, 2015, 10:58:09 AM »
Oh I've got stories for days regarding my in laws. These are the stereotypical kids who give the rest of the millenials a bad name. When people say you are only poor because you are lazy it's these idiots that make the case for them.

Oh where to even begin. Let's start with the overview. 4 kids all in their 30s all living with or crashing with at various times during a week with their mother. Now my MIL does not work she is disabled and lives off of some crazy combination of disability and her deceased husbands SS and military pension and this nets a tidy sum of about $4,000 a month. Back to the 4 kids all are unemployed with student loan debt up the yin yang. One sells some pyramid scheme bath product crap here and there but that's about it. Oh they live in a three bedroom apartment and have been forcibly removed from at least 5 residences in the last 5 years for non payment of rent. During these evictions she stores her stuff and has lost storage spaces for non payment I don't know how many times. She has had to purchase new furniture so many times and it's always rent a center scheme type stuff. Her rent is reasonable about $1,000 a month but her utilities everywhere she goes are insane like $500 a month water bills! My wife says it's always been like that even growing up. They shower, wash a ton of clothes idk wtf but there you are. They also eat out all the time? Why? No one wants to buy groceries because the others will eat anything not nailed down! My SIL started hoarding food which caused ants and other bugs in the closet! MIL is currently being dragged into court for this place too so we will see if she gets evicted again. How can she not afford the rent? Let's go down the roster:

My BIL is a gym rat who works out all the time and then parties all night and sleeps all day. He couldn't attend his nephew (my sons) birthday party last week because it was at 4pm on a Sunday and was still asleep. When BIL is awake he uses MILs debit card to rack up gym memberships, protein powder, etc but wait it gets worse! He just bought a Costco membership but doesn't own a car. So he uses Uber to drive him the 1 1/2 miles to Costco and then another back to carry the groceries! He used her debit card last month to pay off warrants which ate up most of MIL money which caused the eviction! This type of activity is what caused the last 5 evictions and when it's pack up and get out time who does the packing? MIL ALL BY HERSELF! All the kids even without vehicles somehow manage to get out of dodge and help not a lick! He has a son by some one night stand who he never sees and apparently is being abused by the new boyfriend. He won't get a job to get a lawyer to fight for custody however. He's wrecked at least three cars that MIL bought cash with the life insurance money her husband left her when he died. One of those was a $40k Dodge Charger bought cash. All vehicles were wrecked due to drunk driving by the way. Hitting medians and breaking at least two axles. BIL has had several DWIs. They've also lost at least three other vehicles to title loans. And I am talking about $50k Mercedes ML500 paid off taken for nonpayment of a $5,000 title loan!

Second BIL is just a drifter who couch surfs 24/7 best that I can tell. Multiple DWIs, takes money from MIL. Does nothing with his life. Years ago he had his life kind of straight. He was with a girl and MIL paid for the deposit on a new build KB home. something like $20k for them. They break up and the home and the deposit end up lost for nothing. This had happened before when MIL had put down something like $50k on a McMansion. Like 4500 sq ft type. Lost that one too but at least that was meant for the whole zoo. I remember on MILs birthday one year they asked HER for money to take a trip to Houston to go party. She pays all their bills remember and they didn't so much as buy her a card but instead took money from her to go drink! I swear I am not making this stuff up....

SIL has the daughter who lives at the zoo. Years ago she makes MIL buy two brand new Jeep Grand Cherokees one for her and one for the baby daddy. She also has MIL furnish and renovate his house something like $100k. After all of this they break up and he kicks her and his daughter out. Keeping the truck and house. Now she's about to be 40 and desperately wanted another baby. So instead of you know looking for a partner to love, cherish, marry, etc. she hooks up with some guy she meets at a hotel. She's now pregnant and has no contact info for the guy and never will and decided to quit her job at the front desk of the hotel (where she met the guy) to raise the kid.

So TL;DR my MIL received a large life insurance payout when her husband died and has blown through near as I can tell $500-$700k on mainly cars, eating out, and deposits on new construction homes that fell through. She now supports four 30 year olds and their kids on SSDI and a military pension. All of whom treat her like crap and she's had multiple heart attacks. We've begged her to come and live with us on the condition that the leeches are not welcome. No dice on that.

<drops mic>

HOLY. SHIT.

Mic drop, indeed.

Basenji

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #379 on: July 15, 2015, 02:03:20 PM »

<drops mic>

Halfway through I was like this is soooooo drop mic level..... And then you did.

Bravo!

You do not happen to live in New Jersey?

Nope Albuquerque, New Mexico

This is, hands down, the single most horrifying post I've ever read on this board.

I was going to post my in-law stories, then I read WGH's post. Instead I'm going to read it to my DH so he can appreciate his merely wasteful but not deranged family. Wow.

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #380 on: July 15, 2015, 02:12:49 PM »

<drops mic>

Halfway through I was like this is soooooo drop mic level..... And then you did.

Bravo!

You do not happen to live in New Jersey?

Nope Albuquerque, New Mexico

This is, hands down, the single most horrifying post I've ever read on this board.

I was going to post my in-law stories, then I read WGH's post. Instead I'm going to read it to my DH so he can appreciate his merely wasteful but not deranged family. Wow.

Go ahead and post yours. It can be cathartic.

zephyr911

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #381 on: July 15, 2015, 02:16:34 PM »
My mom's squatting in another 2-3 month free housing gig with no idea what she's gonna do next. I'm glad she enjoys having a seminary degree but by conservative estimates, she blew at least $70K in home sale proceeds and inheritances, and racked up at least that much debt, which will probably end up biting not only her but all of her kids in the ass. :(

WGH

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #382 on: July 15, 2015, 03:52:19 PM »
.

Wow man - fucking wow.

Do you ever find their habits in your wife? Do you have a hard time fighting her natural urges to be like them? Just curious.

From time to time. She has notorious wasteful habits; leaving lights on all the time, etc. She's a spendthrift but has gotten much better. Mostly because of watching this downward spiral. She now clips coupons and wait for sales, buys used instead of new cars, etc. She would never ever be mustachian but she's improving.

The sad thing is I wrote that as a kind of stream of consciousness what I could recall of the top of my head. There's more quite a bit more and every week there is something new.

As a cautionary tale this is what can happen when you spoil your kids and never make them accountable or make them work to earn their clothes, cars, etc. Do you think BIL cared about totaling the $40k Dodge Charger? Heck no, he didn't work to pay for it. DW has told me numerous stories of how MIL would make excuses for the boys for not doing their chores and then do them herself. When they wanted to leave out of state for college in NY she forbade them to go citing how dangerous NY could be and how she would be alone without them. Essentially she made them scared of life, scared of taking risks, and enabled and covered up their bad habits. She also does the classic I want to be a friend to my kids instead of a parent.

MIL is 55 and I don't know how much longer she is going to last. I heard the kids had taken out a life insurance policy on her realizing that their golden goose wasn't going to last forever. Of course they were relying on MIL to  make the payments and she stopped a long time ago. Once she has passed on I don't know what they are going to do.

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #383 on: July 15, 2015, 03:59:41 PM »
MIL is 55 and I don't know how much longer she is going to last. I heard the kids had taken out a life insurance policy on her realizing that their golden goose wasn't going to last forever. Of course they were relying on MIL to  make the payments and she stopped a long time ago.

Oh the irony.

midweststache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #384 on: July 15, 2015, 04:03:06 PM »
MIL is 55 and I don't know how much longer she is going to last. I heard the kids had taken out a life insurance policy on her realizing that their golden goose wasn't going to last forever. Of course they were relying on MIL to  make the payments and she stopped a long time ago. Once she has passed on I don't know what they are going to do.

I hope they already know that hitting up you and DW isn't an option? Has that been attempted yet?

russianswinga

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #385 on: July 15, 2015, 04:29:21 PM »
^It's true: no one gets laid more than straight male dancers.

That's not why I dance, but I do it all the same!



WGH

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #386 on: July 15, 2015, 05:44:35 PM »
MIL is 55 and I don't know how much longer she is going to last. I heard the kids had taken out a life insurance policy on her realizing that their golden goose wasn't going to last forever. Of course they were relying on MIL to  make the payments and she stopped a long time ago. Once she has passed on I don't know what they are going to do.

I hope they already know that hitting up you and DW isn't an option? Has that been attempted yet?

When we first moved back to NM they all tried in rapid succession it was actually kind of funny. But they know damn well we won't support them. DW would sooner burn the house down then let them stay with us.

It actually kind of boggles the mind that there are people out there that have such a complete lack of empathy and morals that if you were rich and allowed them to mooch off of you they would do so their entire lives and never think twice about it! How can people not feel guilty?!

I am afraid they will try the but it's for my kid angle which is what they do with MIL. There is nothing so distasteful as watching perfectly healthy adults use their mother to babysit and pay for their kids every need while they go out and party on her dime. If it was me and they took off and left the kid while I was in the shower or something I would call CPS and report abandonment.

Sofa King

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #387 on: July 15, 2015, 08:43:32 PM »
Once she has passed on I don't know what they are going to do.

THIS is when it will be fun to watch them become homeless!!! They will all get what they deserve one day. I have a brother in-law that is similar and I am just waiting for the day when his Mommy can't take care of him anymore like he is till 12 years old (he is 42 now and has never lived on his own ever and the last job he had was when he was in his mid 20's and that was only part time).  Just a matter of time now.

SwordGuy

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #388 on: July 15, 2015, 09:00:10 PM »
Once she has passed on I don't know what they are going to do.

THIS is when it will be fun to watch them become homeless!!! They will all get what they deserve one day. I have a brother in-law that is similar and I am just waiting for the day when his Mommy can't take care of him anymore like he is till 12 years old (he is 42 now and has never lived on his own ever and the last job he had was when he was in his mid 20's and that was only part time).  Just a matter of time now.

Just be ready to shoot them if they snap and attempt to cause you harm.   People who are highly spoiled over-aged children sometimes do that when they no longer get what they feel they are entitled to.   It's the equivalent of a two-year old's temper tantrum only with a gun.

Vertical Mode

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #389 on: July 15, 2015, 09:55:12 PM »
Once she has passed on I don't know what they are going to do.

THIS is when it will be fun to watch them become homeless!!! They will all get what they deserve one day. I have a brother in-law that is similar and I am just waiting for the day when his Mommy can't take care of him anymore like he is till 12 years old (he is 42 now and has never lived on his own ever and the last job he had was when he was in his mid 20's and that was only part time).  Just a matter of time now.

Just be ready to shoot them if they snap and attempt to cause you harm.   People who are highly spoiled over-aged children sometimes do that when they no longer get what they feel they are entitled to.   It's the equivalent of a two-year old's temper tantrum only with a gun.

Especially in cases where significant economic outpatient care is involved:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/06/nyregion/thomas-gilbert-hedge-fund-manager-death.html?_r=0

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #390 on: July 16, 2015, 07:52:01 AM »
.

Wow man - fucking wow.

Do you ever find their habits in your wife? Do you have a hard time fighting her natural urges to be like them? Just curious.

From time to time. She has notorious wasteful habits; leaving lights on all the time, etc. She's a spendthrift but has gotten much better. Mostly because of watching this downward spiral. She now clips coupons and wait for sales, buys used instead of new cars, etc. She would never ever be mustachian but she's improving.

The sad thing is I wrote that as a kind of stream of consciousness what I could recall of the top of my head. There's more quite a bit more and every week there is something new.

As a cautionary tale this is what can happen when you spoil your kids and never make them accountable or make them work to earn their clothes, cars, etc. Do you think BIL cared about totaling the $40k Dodge Charger? Heck no, he didn't work to pay for it. DW has told me numerous stories of how MIL would make excuses for the boys for not doing their chores and then do them herself. When they wanted to leave out of state for college in NY she forbade them to go citing how dangerous NY could be and how she would be alone without them. Essentially she made them scared of life, scared of taking risks, and enabled and covered up their bad habits. She also does the classic I want to be a friend to my kids instead of a parent.

MIL is 55 and I don't know how much longer she is going to last. I heard the kids had taken out a life insurance policy on her realizing that their golden goose wasn't going to last forever. Of course they were relying on MIL to  make the payments and she stopped a long time ago. Once she has passed on I don't know what they are going to do.

Not even sure what to say man. ::e-beer::

Candace

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #391 on: July 16, 2015, 07:54:01 AM »
Once she has passed on I don't know what they are going to do.

THIS is when it will be fun to watch them become homeless!!! They will all get what they deserve one day. I have a brother in-law that is similar and I am just waiting for the day when his Mommy can't take care of him anymore like he is till 12 years old (he is 42 now and has never lived on his own ever and the last job he had was when he was in his mid 20's and that was only part time).  Just a matter of time now.

"Fun" to watch someone become homeless? Are you serious? Even if they deserve it, actually enjoying witnessing it says something not so nice about you. Watching their downfall will not make you more superior.

Not to mention, it is in your best interest for them to have what they need, so they don't come looking to you for a handout when their mother is gone. As someone else mentioned, they could prove to be a problem for you.

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #392 on: July 16, 2015, 07:56:54 AM »
Once she has passed on I don't know what they are going to do.

THIS is when it will be fun to watch them become homeless!!! They will all get what they deserve one day. I have a brother in-law that is similar and I am just waiting for the day when his Mommy can't take care of him anymore like he is till 12 years old (he is 42 now and has never lived on his own ever and the last job he had was when he was in his mid 20's and that was only part time).  Just a matter of time now.

"Fun" to watch someone become homeless? Are you serious? Even if they deserve it, actually enjoying witnessing it says something not so nice about you. Watching their downfall will not make you more superior.

Not to mention, it is in your best interest for them to have what they need, so they don't come looking to you for a handout when their mother is gone. As someone else mentioned, they could prove to be a problem for you.

lol - I think the guy is just really mad about his BIL and hopefully not truly excited for the homelessness of people he does not even know.

Vertical Mode

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #393 on: July 16, 2015, 08:00:32 AM »
Once she has passed on I don't know what they are going to do.

THIS is when it will be fun to watch them become homeless!!! They will all get what they deserve one day. I have a brother in-law that is similar and I am just waiting for the day when his Mommy can't take care of him anymore like he is till 12 years old (he is 42 now and has never lived on his own ever and the last job he had was when he was in his mid 20's and that was only part time).  Just a matter of time now.

"Fun" to watch someone become homeless? Are you serious? Even if they deserve it, actually enjoying witnessing it says something not so nice about you. Watching their downfall will not make you more superior.

Not to mention, it is in your best interest for them to have what they need, so they don't come looking to you for a handout when their mother is gone. As someone else mentioned, they could prove to be a problem for you.

lol - I think the guy is just really mad about his BIL and hope
fully not truly excited for the homelessness of people he does not even know.

I think there's a certain degree of schadenfreude in this post, in that the BIL will be getting his due comeuppance when SHTF. I don't think he's ACTUALLY going to revel in it should this guy become homeless, that would be cruel.

ducky19

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #394 on: July 16, 2015, 08:04:51 AM »
Oh my, where do I begin...?

My parents have never been good with money, although I didn't realize it when I was growing up (I just thought we were poor). It wasn't until I met my wife that I realized that they just suck at handling money. They live in a modest 2-3 bedroom house that they bought back in the late 90's for under 90k, but they have refinanced a couple of times and pulled every last nickel of equity out of it (I know for a fact they have a second mortgage or HELOC that they used to fix my mom's car). Mom is 68 and still working close to full time plus drawing social security. Dad started delivering travel trailers a couple of years ago. The truck he already owned "didn't have enough power", so he promptly went out and spent $60k+ on a brand new Dodge. His payments and insurance run over $1k/mo and he wonders why he can't seem to get ahead (not to mention it gets about 8 MPG). They are the type that will go out to eat several times a week then fret about being able to pay the bills. I know they've got credit card debt, but no idea how much. I do know that they will both hide debt from each other. Mom loves shopping at Von Mauer on the store card and justifies overspending because it's zero interest.

That's just the start. My grandfather passed away a couple of years ago, and part of my dad's inheritance is around 30 acres of farmland. He plans to sell it to my uncle who still farms the family place for about $10k/acre. He started talking about once he gets that money that there's a place in the country he has his eye on. We asked if it would be downsizing, but of course it would be upsizing instead because it has "more room - this place just doesn't have enough room". No dad, that just means you've got too much shit! He was also talking about selling their perfectly good camper and getting a new one - he's already got every last penny of the last large chunk of change that will come into his life spent in his head. It would be comical if it weren't my parents. Their attitude towards money has taken a huge toll on them, not just emotionally but I can see it physically weighing them down.

My wife and I are trying to decide how I should approach them about this. I know with the $300k from the land and my mom's 401k (around $100k), they could both stop working and be set for the rest of their lives if they would only change their bad financial habits. I plan to get my dad the audiobook of "Your Money or Your Life" to listen to while he's on the road, but I just don't know how receptive he'll be.

My sister and her husband are younger versions of my parents, but at least bought their first home before they were 40 and haven't been tapping it's equity. They are always short of money though, even though they both have decent jobs and my sister has her own cake business on the side.

My brother and his wife I suspect are slightly mustachian - they do tend to overspend on cars/house to keep up with the Joneses, but they both have decent jobs and both work part time jobs as well. We haven't discussed it, but I think they are quietly working toward FI and have hopes to retire in their mid 50s.

Zamboni

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #395 on: July 16, 2015, 08:22:42 AM »
Especially in cases where significant economic outpatient care is involved:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/06/nyregion/thomas-gilbert-hedge-fund-manager-death.html?_r=0

That's a scary story.

I do wonder how hard it is going to be to say "no" to any desperate family members down the line. To date there has been a couple of really awkward phone calls with two different people.

Also I've known a couple of would-be moochers who have vilified their more prudent family members for being "greedy tightwads" who "won't share and don't care about family." So we'll have to steel ourselves to that eventual fate at a minimum.

Apples

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #396 on: July 16, 2015, 08:48:10 AM »
I have a cousin who we helped when she started divorcing her husband and needed to get out of their house with her son.  She lived in our upstairs, and we occasionally babysat her son for her in the evening.  Also, my dad helped fix her car, convinced her to change to a better lawyer, and is generally helpful.  But she wouldn't get a job because receptionist jobs are boring and she won't work in a factory.  And she can't work off hours because she has a toddler.  The only person around who still gives her pity and attention is my mom, who always agrees that the world is just so unfair, she deserves better, yes you can complain all day I totally agree, no need to be proactive in any way.

So after all the help my DH and I, and my dad, give to her, I hear my cousin tell her mom that the only person willing to help her is her aunt (my mom).  She said this while laying in my guest bedroom using my guest bathroom sharing our kitchen and living room with us and her toddler.  For 4.5 months, before she moved to my parent's house because I wasn't having it anymore.  After this experience, I might write the desperate family member one $500 check (at this stage in life, maybe more later), give them suggestions on jobs and housing, and see what they do.  It's way too easy to be used, and we ended up in a situation where we were either putting up with her or kicking her and her toddler out, which I don't have the heart to do.  I tried to explain our budget, and she said we were "rich" and "sharing the wealth" with her.  So I at this point don't mind being vilified by her, and will hesitate to give the same amount of help in the future.

Papa Mustache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #397 on: July 16, 2015, 01:29:42 PM »
...doing whatever a 22 year old without any major responsibilities does.

"See #1"?


Excellent point.

How expensive is that stuff anyway? I thought hippies had no money because they dropped out of the mainstream economy. If they don't have any money, how can they afford to be stereotypically "high" all the time?

The country hippies grow their own. For real... And much of their food. And they live in very moustachian houses. And drive old cars. They might not save much b/c they don't make much in the first place. Got cozy with a few twenty years ago. Hung around with them for a while and then remembered I didn't like being perpetually broke and got serious again about graduating with my engineering degree.

Papa Mustache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #398 on: July 16, 2015, 01:42:58 PM »

I consulted my weed costs authority for you and apparently "good stuff" (ie what middle aged people who still smoke would get, not high school kids) is $60 for an 1/8 ounce (3.5 grams). That's about 3 joints depending on how you roll them (with tobacco and how much, etc). Prices go down if you buy in bulk, like you know Costco style, or buy the shitty stuff.

Price varies by where you are and who you know, and of course, what quality you are buying. For an eighth to be 3 joints, they must be some massive joints. I know some heavy smokers with high tolerance and they say that a good quality eight that they buy for $50 lasts them an entire week. For them, that means that they are smoking multiple bowls each night after work. Rolling joints in their experience is a complete waste of money. Instead they recommend getting a one-hitter or packing a small bowl. The only times that they pack a full bowl is if they are toking with friends and are going to be passing it around.

That said, the future of weed is going to be wax and oil concentrates. I know a few people that will buy a gram of wax for maybe $40-50, and it can last them a month, in which they are getting a pretty good high each month. This reduces their cost significantly and as they use a vape pen, it is easier on their throat.

MgoSam apparently knows way more about this that I do! Maybe he said it was 5 joints depending on the roll? Either way, costs can add up quickly!

Just doin' my job! That said, it is high time that marijuana be decriminalized (pun intended).

Saw a sign on a pizza place this week that said "legalize marinara!" I had to do a quick double take to understand what I saw. ;)

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #399 on: July 16, 2015, 02:07:57 PM »
I have a cousin who we helped...
What a fuckin' ingrate.

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