Author Topic: Relatives who just don't get it  (Read 780359 times)

iowajes

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4551
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2900 on: May 03, 2017, 07:30:25 PM »
Yeah. There is no early way I'm paying $27k.
The hospital said it is 120 days until it goes to collections. So I'll pay it in 119 if they haven't worked it out.
Clearing up a trashed credit score would be harder than a refund...

Sibley

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1888
  • Age: 31
  • Location: Chicago, IL
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2901 on: May 04, 2017, 09:31:10 AM »
Yeah. There is no early way I'm paying $27k.
The hospital said it is 120 days until it goes to collections. So I'll pay it in 119 if they haven't worked it out.
Clearing up a trashed credit score would be harder than a refund...

So, if the insurance company doesn't like the coding, get the specifics of what they want, then take it to the provider (hospital). Spoon feed it to them and have them resubmit. No, things shouldn't work this way. Yes, sometimes they do.

iowajes

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4551
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2902 on: May 04, 2017, 03:46:50 PM »
Yeah. There is no early way I'm paying $27k.
The hospital said it is 120 days until it goes to collections. So I'll pay it in 119 if they haven't worked it out.
Clearing up a trashed credit score would be harder than a refund...

So, if the insurance company doesn't like the coding, get the specifics of what they want, then take it to the provider (hospital). Spoon feed it to them and have them resubmit. No, things shouldn't work this way. Yes, sometimes they do.
The insurance is in the wrong. I went down to the hospital and they showed it to me, and it's exactly what insurance is asking for. Hospital cannot resend it because it would be a duplicate.

mm1970

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4416
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2903 on: May 04, 2017, 04:15:12 PM »
Yeah. There is no early way I'm paying $27k.
The hospital said it is 120 days until it goes to collections. So I'll pay it in 119 if they haven't worked it out.
Clearing up a trashed credit score would be harder than a refund...
Okay, so this was 11 years ago, but I got a $3000 bill for my first birth (vaginal with epidural, 2 nights in hospital), on a total bill of about $5000?  (I feel like hospital was $5k, and doctor was $4k, or thereabouts).

I got the EOB from my insurance company.  I called the hospital to get an itemized bill.  Then in my sleep-deprived state, I attempted to make sense of it.

But literally NONE of the lines matched.  Not the title.  Not the code.  Not the $ amounts.  I could not even combine several lines together to get any $ amount to match.

So I called the hospital and started in on my talk "well, I have your bill, and the EOB, and nothing lines up at all". 

Hospital: "Wait, let us handle that.  It can be confusing.  We will call the insurance company."

A bit later (a week?  2 weeks?) magically my new bill was $700.  ($350 deductible x 2)  It made me wonder:

#1: how many people "just pay it" to avoid dealing with the hospital and insurance.  It saves them both money.
#2: how many times insurance denies payment "just because"


I say this because years later, my kid #2 had surgery at 9 months.  It was necessary, and pre-qualified / approved.
First EOB from the insurance company said "we are denying payment for this surgery because it was not emergency surgery".  No shit dipwads, that's why we got the PRE-APPROVAL.

In the end, they paid it, but it took 1.5 YEARS.  Between the insurance company denials, the poor billing practices of the hospital, the fact that the hospital and doctors bill separately, the different insurance companies (kiddo double covered), change in insurance at the end of the year...what a mess.

And I'm pretty sure all along, hospital and insurance were hoping that we'd "just pay the bill".  The cost was approximately $25,000 (outpatient).  Our cost: $125 (the outpatient cost), which we paid for out of the HSA.

But many many hours on the phone, my husband was the one who did it.  I'd recommend using someone who is both stubborn and not sleep deprived.

RetiredAt63

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6192
  • Location: Eastern Ontario, Canada
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2904 on: May 05, 2017, 08:50:10 AM »
To continue the thread derail into health care - So happy for OHIP - my doctor-referred physiotherapy is covered, to a point, my upcoming MRI is covered, my knee X-rays and hip bone density scan were covered. My tetanus vaccination was covered, I get my free flu shot every fall, and I was in the right age group for free shingles vaccine.  I do pay for this - my premiums are called taxes.  But any Ontario resident will get the same care.

When DD was born we were in Quebec, and she got jaundice, so we were in hospital for 4 or 5 days.  Otherwise it would have been 3, I was an elderly primigravida and I had a long labour.  We had a nurse visit a week or so after we were home, to see how we were doing and do the urine test for phenylketonuria.  I had follow-up visits with my ob/gyn and she went to our GP and the CLSC.

The measure of civilization is how people treat one another.

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/meetups-and-social-events/ontario's-own-camp-mustache-2017/ - MEET US THERE!

marielle

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 468
  • Age: 24
  • Location: North Carolina
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2905 on: May 05, 2017, 09:26:33 AM »
Just found out that my boyfriend's parents have kept his and his sister's crib all these years so that their grandchildren could use it one day. 28 years now. They're upset because they actually had to throw it away due to water getting in the basement and rusting it. I could understand keeping some toys and things that you can't buy anymore...but a crib!? They claim it was not for sentimental reasons, and that it is because it was a perfectly good crib that someone else should get to enjoy. Right, that's why you kept it for your grandchildren and not for some other family. The amount of junk this family holds on to is insane.

What if they don't even have grandchildren?

Goldielocks

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3844
  • Location: BC
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2906 on: May 05, 2017, 10:03:39 AM »
My dad made a cradle that all 4 of his grandkids used, and it is now in storage waiting for great grandchildren.  (He is a carpenter).  I think he made a little engraved plaque with all the babies' names on it that is now on it.

So, although smaller than a crib, same idea, and I get it.

Ann

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 170
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2907 on: May 05, 2017, 11:14:56 AM »
Just found out that my boyfriend's parents have kept his and his sister's crib all these years so that their grandchildren could use it one day. 28 years now. They're upset because they actually had to throw it away due to water getting in the basement and rusting it. I could understand keeping some toys and things that you can't buy anymore...but a crib!? They claim it was not for sentimental reasons, and that it is because it was a perfectly good crib that someone else should get to enjoy. Right, that's why you kept it for your grandchildren and not for some other family. The amount of junk this family holds on to is insane.

What if they don't even have grandchildren?
Aww!  But the sad thing is that it WAS a perfectly good crib that someone else could've enjoyed . . . 28 years ago.  If they had started passing it along to friends and acquaintances, they would have maintained the spirit of their impulse and helped out the community.  Instead, they kept it for their grandchildren only and ended up with garbage.  :-(

Sibley

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1888
  • Age: 31
  • Location: Chicago, IL
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2908 on: May 05, 2017, 02:30:38 PM »
Yeah. There is no early way I'm paying $27k.
The hospital said it is 120 days until it goes to collections. So I'll pay it in 119 if they haven't worked it out.
Clearing up a trashed credit score would be harder than a refund...

So, if the insurance company doesn't like the coding, get the specifics of what they want, then take it to the provider (hospital). Spoon feed it to them and have them resubmit. No, things shouldn't work this way. Yes, sometimes they do.
The insurance is in the wrong. I went down to the hospital and they showed it to me, and it's exactly what insurance is asking for. Hospital cannot resend it because it would be a duplicate.

Ok, that's different. Call insurance, ask them to re-process that claim, or file an appeal if that's what they need (depends on their process). If you get an appeal denied, then file a complaint with the State Department of Insurance (should do the appeal first). DOI complaints go to a different area and get a fresh set of eyes. Plus, there's real, negative consequences to those complaints - they don't get ignored.

Tell the hospital you're working on it, give them whatever docs they need so you don't go to collection. Edit: or just pay the bill before it goes to collections, but I'd avoid that if possible.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2017, 02:33:58 PM by Sibley »

cloudsail

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 221
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2909 on: May 05, 2017, 02:49:07 PM »
I've given in to my insurance company before. They were clearly in the wrong but it was a little over $200 and I just didn't have the time or energy anymore.

It just makes me grit my teeth every time I think how much money they squeeze out in totally underhanded ways. As if they can't make enough money just operating in an honest way.

firelight

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 920
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2910 on: May 05, 2017, 03:55:52 PM »
Iowajes, can you get both your insurance and the hospital on the same conference call and sort it out together? I've found that has helped me in the past instead of going back and forth between them. Also, record the conversation so you don't end up in he said, she said scenario. Unfortunately, it's your credit that is on the line and you need to get them to solve it one way or the other before it goes to collections.

Tasty Pinecones

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 762
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2911 on: May 05, 2017, 04:31:54 PM »
I've given in to my insurance company before. They were clearly in the wrong but it was a little over $200 and I just didn't have the time or energy anymore.

It just makes me grit my teeth every time I think how much money they squeeze out in totally underhanded ways. As if they can't make enough money just operating in an honest way.

Can you imagine the emotional roller coaster ride the sick, the elderly and the low education persons deal with in the insurance co or billing department?

ysette9

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1516
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2912 on: May 05, 2017, 04:33:50 PM »
Quote
Just found out that my boyfriend's parents have kept his and his sister's crib all these years so that their grandchildren could use it one day. 28 years now.

If the cribs hadn't been destroyed I doubt they would have been used anyway. Safety standard and knowledge have changed a lot in that time and many things from back then are no longer considered acceptable. I certainly would not put my kid in a 30 year-old crib while I am happy to accept a gently used pack-n-play from friends.
"It'll be great!"

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1444
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
  • www.theliveinlandlord.com
    • The Live-In Landlord
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2913 on: May 05, 2017, 10:55:21 PM »
I've given in to my insurance company before. They were clearly in the wrong but it was a little over $200 and I just didn't have the time or energy anymore.

It just makes me grit my teeth every time I think how much money they squeeze out in totally underhanded ways. As if they can't make enough money just operating in an honest way.

Can you imagine the emotional roller coaster ride the sick, the elderly and the low education persons deal with in the insurance co or billing department?

Part of the strategy. If the patient dies from a stress induced stroke or heart attack, the estate generally has to settle especially if the family is already exhausted and overtaxed due to the death of a loved one.

It's the same with routinely denying claims related to injuries severe enough to require surgery. If the patient is, say, a victim of domestic violence or has been in a sports related accident, he or she is generally under enough other kinds of stress to be pressured into accepting responsibility for the bill.
I squeak softly, but carry a big schtick.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3354
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2914 on: May 06, 2017, 03:57:19 AM »
I've given in to my insurance company before. They were clearly in the wrong but it was a little over $200 and I just didn't have the time or energy anymore.

It just makes me grit my teeth every time I think how much money they squeeze out in totally underhanded ways. As if they can't make enough money just operating in an honest way.

Can you imagine the emotional roller coaster ride the sick, the elderly and the low education persons deal with in the insurance co or billing department?

Part of the strategy. If the patient dies from a stress induced stroke or heart attack, the estate generally has to settle especially if the family is already exhausted and overtaxed due to the death of a loved one.

It's the same with routinely denying claims related to injuries severe enough to require surgery. If the patient is, say, a victim of domestic violence or has been in a sports related accident, he or she is generally under enough other kinds of stress to be pressured into accepting responsibility for the bill.

I have no experience with this and so do not wish to comment on it. I will say that there are bottom feeders that will try to saddle individuals and companies with small inconvienences and hope that they just pay them off rather than cause problems. I'll give an example. My company uses Centurylink for their phone service. About 7 months ago a company called asking to speak to "whoever handles the Centurlink account," whenever someone calls in and doesn't know the name of the person my spidey-sense kicks in, and so I probed and the person said that they were from Telpex and that they could 'lower my phone bill.' I tell him that we aren't interested and to take off his list and then hang up. I $@$@ hate these calls. If someone were to call my business and say, "I am a competitor to ___ and want to get your business," I'll listen to them and maybe we can work something out. But when anyone calls without a contact name, my response is to go away*. I #%% hate these calls. We exhibit at a few shows and it pisses me off how many calls we get from people that will try to pretend like they are from that show when in reality they are either freight brokers or people trying to book hotels from us, not because they are trying to get business but because they represent themselves as being from the show. Well anyways, Telpex called again and spoke to my warehouse manager who hearing that they can save us money decided to get some figures. Wel, that company took that message as confirmation that we had their business and used that recording (he wasn't authorized to make any such decision, and swears he said that to the salesperson) to call Centurylink to cancel our phone service and switch it over to us. Next thing we know we get an invoice for triple what our regular phone bill is and harassing phone messages.

I didn't think much of Telpex after I told them to go away, but after my warehouse manager talked to them I did a little Googling and see that it is a fraud service. Multiple complain that they call saying that they are with a provider and then rip them off by saying that they agreed to use them.

So by that point it my warehouse manager comes to me. I got a copy of the invoice and ask him WTF? He tells me what happens and then I speak to Telpex and tell them we didn't sign any agreement and that we plan to litigate the invoice if they pursue it. They say that they will. Instead, they call us for the next few weeks and then our phone line is cut off.

We get Centurylink to re-institute service. Problem with centurylink is that they are an oligopoly and honestly don't give a fuck about customer service. You would think that they would call before switching an account to a 'rival.'
 
I'm guessing that Telpex think that most businesses will just pay them to go away. We aren't like that, the principal owner says, "Feel free to file a suit, I'm sure a judge would love to see any agreements we allegedly signed." That was the last we heard of them on the invoice matter. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, I just got a call from Telpex.

*If someone calls and says that they are with company ___ and would like to speak to the person responsible for that area, I"m more likely to transfer them if I answer the phone (we don't have a receptionist any longer). 

paddedhat

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1809
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2915 on: May 06, 2017, 06:00:53 AM »

Can you imagine the emotional roller coaster ride the sick, the elderly and the low education persons deal with in the insurance co or billing department?

Part of the strategy. If the patient dies from a stress induced stroke or heart attack, the estate generally has to settle especially if the family is already exhausted and overtaxed due to the death of a loved one.

It's the same with routinely denying claims related to injuries severe enough to require surgery. If the patient is, say, a victim of domestic violence or has been in a sports related accident, he or she is generally under enough other kinds of stress to be pressured into accepting responsibility for the bill.
[/quote]

I have no experience with this and so do not wish to comment on it. I will say that there are bottom feeders that will try to saddle individuals and companies with small inconvienences and hope that they just pay them off rather than cause problems. I'll give an example. My company uses Centurylink for their phone service. About 7 months ago a company called asking to speak to "whoever handles the Centurlink account," whenever someone calls in and doesn't know the name of the person my spidey-sense kicks in, and so I probed and the person said that they were from Telpex and that they could 'lower my phone bill.' I tell him that we aren't interested and to take off his list and then hang up. I $@$@ hate these calls. If someone were to call my business and say, "I am a competitor to ___ and want to get your business," I'll listen to them and maybe we can work something out. But when anyone calls without a contact name, my response is to go away*. I #%% hate these calls. We exhibit at a few shows and it pisses me off how many calls we get from people that will try to pretend like they are from that show when in reality they are either freight brokers or people trying to book hotels from us, not because they are trying to get business but because they represent themselves as being from the show. Well anyways, Telpex called again and spoke to my warehouse manager who hearing that they can save us money decided to get some figures. Wel, that company took that message as confirmation that we had their business and used that recording (he wasn't authorized to make any such decision, and swears he said that to the salesperson) to call Centurylink to cancel our phone service and switch it over to us. Next thing we know we get an invoice for triple what our regular phone bill is and harassing phone messages.

I didn't think much of Telpex after I told them to go away, but after my warehouse manager talked to them I did a little Googling and see that it is a fraud service. Multiple complain that they call saying that they are with a provider and then rip them off by saying that they agreed to use them.

So by that point it my warehouse manager comes to me. I got a copy of the invoice and ask him WTF? He tells me what happens and then I speak to Telpex and tell them we didn't sign any agreement and that we plan to litigate the invoice if they pursue it. They say that they will. Instead, they call us for the next few weeks and then our phone line is cut off.

We get Centurylink to re-institute service. Problem with centurylink is that they are an oligopoly and honestly don't give a fuck about customer service. You would think that they would call before switching an account to a 'rival.'
 
I'm guessing that Telpex think that most businesses will just pay them to go away. We aren't like that, the principal owner says, "Feel free to file a suit, I'm sure a judge would love to see any agreements we allegedly signed." That was the last we heard of them on the invoice matter. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, I just got a call from Telpex.

*If someone calls and says that they are with company ___ and would like to speak to the person responsible for that area, I"m more likely to transfer them if I answer the phone (we don't have a receptionist any longer).
[/quote]

I had this happen years ago, but with a twist. I was working for a small business and got a call from one of the scam phone companies. They asked enough questions to verify the owner's full name and ended the call. Our service was switched, the bills exploded, and they tried to collect. At that point they actually presented a forged document with the owner's signature, requesting service. Back when everybody had land lines, and the industry deregulated, this type of crap was an epidemic.  Also had a case of an elderly FIL who spent years paying $8/month to another shitbag phone company to lease a $50 ring volume amplifier. He passed, and the MIL just kept on paying the bill. After the MIL passed the bastards demanded that it be returned to them before they would cancel the contract. They billed well over a grand for the "service" over at least a decade.

TomTX

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2413
  • Location: Texas
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2916 on: May 06, 2017, 06:07:35 AM »
It's such a shame that people don't respect boundaries. WE never had any problems with my parents or the in-laws. If I had family like some of you guys I would not even tell them I was pregnant until a month after the baby was born:))   Of course this only works if you live in different towns.

Seriously already thinking about how long we can keep the news from my mother if we ever have children - of both birth and pregnancy. Mainly because we have a precarious entente which is largely built upon never saying anything other than small talk, and I can see how we'd get into deeper conversation pretty quickly about children. She'd ask about the birth plan, I'd obfuscate but eventually have to tell her, she'd make some passive-aggressive but deniable veiled criticism, I have to decide whether to play nice to keep the peace or enforce boundaries and start an argument and be accused of criticising HER... Oh man. (And iowajes, I sympathise with struggling to enforce boundaries - no one wants to pour petrol onto embers if the embers will just keep glowing quietly by themselves, but you still get burned by embers.) If I could keep the entire pregnancy and existence of the child secret from her forever, I would.

Just as a datapoint, we're closing in on 4 years of keeping the news from my MIL.  We do live a long way away, and communication is intentionally limited.

And I'm not going to get into all of her crazy, nasty stuff over the years. That would be for my wife to tell.

You successfully kept a 3-year-old hidden from the in-laws? The logistics alone sound like a good story. (/fetches popcorn)

Um, it's not that dramatic.

She lives 2,000 miles away, doesn't fly and the last time we visited, DW was ~4 months pregnant (which went un-noticed)
Credit card signup bonuses:

$150 bonus on $500 spend for Chase Freedom:
https://www.referyourchasecard.com/2/MU4TDQ1N3K

$50 bonus (no min spend, just use it once) plus double all cash back at the end of 1 year for Discover, including the initial $50:
https://refer.discover.com/s/37e3u

$500 bonus on $4,000 spend for Chase Sapphire Preferred:
https://www.referyourchasecard.com/6/Z8JIP66H7G

TomTX

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2413
  • Location: Texas
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2917 on: May 06, 2017, 06:15:37 AM »

Yes. Please please please explain how you actually do this while still having some contact with her. And how the "Hey, guess we should tell MIL about the baby" - "You know, we don't actually have to..." converation went. Does anyone else on that side of the family know, and how have they not told her?

Apparently I should have come back to this thread sooner....

Contact is email and phone calls, and my FIL and all the generation before that have died.  Nobody on that side knows. My parents do talk to MIL on occasion, but have kept quiet by request. They are aware of the generalities of why.

MIL is not a nice person. She abused DW growing up (until she got physically big enough to stop it) and I saw numerous times of her being very nasty and manipulative. She's performed ID theft on DW multiple times. During college (DW had worked and saved) - she stripped DW's bank account right before tuition was due.

On the flip side - if she wants something from you, she can be very, very sweet and convincing. Runs an effective con.

FIL was a great guy, hard working, caring, very capable with anything mechanical/physical-work related - but very little education. 4th grade, IIRC.
Credit card signup bonuses:

$150 bonus on $500 spend for Chase Freedom:
https://www.referyourchasecard.com/2/MU4TDQ1N3K

$50 bonus (no min spend, just use it once) plus double all cash back at the end of 1 year for Discover, including the initial $50:
https://refer.discover.com/s/37e3u

$500 bonus on $4,000 spend for Chase Sapphire Preferred:
https://www.referyourchasecard.com/6/Z8JIP66H7G

iowajes

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4551
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2918 on: May 06, 2017, 08:04:47 PM »
SIL is visiting. Visit is going well. But we went to a winery and had drinks and pizza.  When we were done they asked us if we wanted a to go box. We said yes.  She laughed and said for two slices?". Um, hell yes. That's lunch!

AlanStache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1519
  • Age: 37
  • Location: South East Virginia
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2919 on: May 07, 2017, 06:43:38 PM »
SIL is visiting. Visit is going well. But we went to a winery and had drinks and pizza.  When we were done they asked us if we wanted a to go box. We said yes.  She laughed and said for two slices?". Um, hell yes. That's lunch!

?  how would someone not be all over some leftover pizza?  Cold day old pizza for breakfast is better than any omelet or pancakes - fact.  It is not even at the level of wasting food or thriftiness this is about taste and awesomeness and pizza.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2017, 06:45:21 PM by AlanStache »
Be the person Mr. Rogers knows you can be.

kayvent

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 421
  • Location: Canada
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2920 on: May 07, 2017, 07:48:29 PM »
SIL is visiting. Visit is going well. But we went to a winery and had drinks and pizza.  When we were done they asked us if we wanted a to go box. We said yes.  She laughed and said for two slices?". Um, hell yes. That's lunch!

?  how would someone not be all over some leftover pizza?  Cold day old pizza for breakfast is better than any omelet or pancakes - fact.  It is not even at the level of wasting food or thriftiness this is about taste and awesomeness and pizza.

Cold pizza is sometimes better than when it was fresh ;)

Tasty Pinecones

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 762
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2921 on: May 08, 2017, 10:44:13 AM »
Exactly. Most "Italian" food is better on Day 2. I'm not much for cold pizza but thankfully someone invented those microwave thingies...

Sibley

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1888
  • Age: 31
  • Location: Chicago, IL
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2922 on: May 08, 2017, 03:01:16 PM »
Quote
Just found out that my boyfriend's parents have kept his and his sister's crib all these years so that their grandchildren could use it one day. 28 years now.

If the cribs hadn't been destroyed I doubt they would have been used anyway. Safety standard and knowledge have changed a lot in that time and many things from back then are no longer considered acceptable. I certainly would not put my kid in a 30 year-old crib while I am happy to accept a gently used pack-n-play from friends.

You wouldn't believe the arguments it took to convince my mom to get rid of the highchair and the stroller. Luckily, the crib was given to someone a very long time ago.

iowajes

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4551
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2923 on: May 08, 2017, 08:34:04 PM »
SIL is visiting. Visit is going well. But we went to a winery and had drinks and pizza.  When we were done they asked us if we wanted a to go box. We said yes.  She laughed and said for two slices?". Um, hell yes. That's lunch!

?  how would someone not be all over some leftover pizza?  Cold day old pizza for breakfast is better than any omelet or pancakes - fact.  It is not even at the level of wasting food or thriftiness this is about taste and awesomeness and pizza.

I've since learned she doesn't eat leftovers, but also doesn't think you should take them home if you have less than half the meal.
Weird.

Goldielocks

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3844
  • Location: BC
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2924 on: May 08, 2017, 11:15:02 PM »
But... lunch is a meal?

Maybe this is related to a weight loss thing.   Many people take the food home, then eat it that night, after all.  :-)

iowajes

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4551
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2925 on: May 09, 2017, 03:06:06 AM »
No,half the meal you are eating. So like half the pizza.  She said she understands some people think portions are too big, and split it to take home, but taking home a little bit you didn't finish is weird.

But she personally thinks reheating anything is gross. Good apparently should only be cooked once. She won't even do make ahead meals where you cook it freeze it and then reheat.

But she did eat a hot dog. I didn't tell her the factory precooked it...


But other than this my SIL is pretty cool and it was a great visit, and she's getting better at saving and non wasteful spending than 10 years ago.  She even took us up on the offer of airport snacks from home so she didn't have to but anything.

Goldielocks

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3844
  • Location: BC
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2926 on: May 09, 2017, 11:39:44 AM »


But she personally thinks reheating anything is gross. Good apparently should only be cooked once. She won't even do make ahead meals where you cook it freeze it and then reheat.

Hmm.. sounds like my DH, although he doesn't say "gross" and eats what he gets, I can tell he thinks it.   
I have to really disguise something into new cooked food for him to think it is good the second time around (like putting roast beef into enchiladas).  But what's the point of that?  Leftovers should allow you to only cook 3-4 times a week, IMO.   

Candace

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 316
  • Age: 51
  • Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2927 on: May 09, 2017, 12:23:56 PM »
Does it seem to anyone else that the people who refuse to eat leftovers are usually not the people doing the cooking?

Tasty Pinecones

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 762
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2928 on: May 09, 2017, 12:32:42 PM »
YES!

I had two leftover strips of BBQ brisket with my lunch sandwich today. Was so good even cold. While our dog would certainly appreciate it, I wasn't in a sharing mood and she was at home while I was at work.

jezebel

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1211
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2929 on: May 09, 2017, 01:06:30 PM »
I love leftovers, but I know many people, it seems, that refuse to eat them.  I really don't get it, is it the idea that it's "leftover" gross/unappealing, or the texture, or what?  If you cut a few slices of cheese, do you throw away the rest of the block? The rest of the milk after serving some at dinner? Basically anything in the fridge that you keep for several uses is "leftover." 

I am baffled by this viewpoint.

Kitsune

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1555
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2930 on: May 09, 2017, 01:10:21 PM »
Does it seem to anyone else that the people who refuse to eat leftovers are usually not the people doing the cooking?

This.

mtn

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1214
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2931 on: May 09, 2017, 01:28:53 PM »
I love leftovers, but I know many people, it seems, that refuse to eat them.  I really don't get it, is it the idea that it's "leftover" gross/unappealing, or the texture, or what?  If you cut a few slices of cheese, do you throw away the rest of the block? The rest of the milk after serving some at dinner? Basically anything in the fridge that you keep for several uses is "leftover." 

I am baffled by this viewpoint.

I guess I could understand the texture thing--there are certain things that only work while fresh (french fries, smoothies, certain sandwiches, and IMHO, eggs)... But many foods are just as good, or close to it leftover. Certain foods are better!

Paul der Krake

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3382
  • Age: 9
  • Location: WA
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2932 on: May 09, 2017, 01:32:36 PM »
I love leftovers, but I know many people, it seems, that refuse to eat them.  I really don't get it, is it the idea that it's "leftover" gross/unappealing, or the texture, or what?  If you cut a few slices of cheese, do you throw away the rest of the block? The rest of the milk after serving some at dinner? Basically anything in the fridge that you keep for several uses is "leftover." 

I am baffled by this viewpoint.

I guess I could understand the texture thing--there are certain things that only work while fresh (french fries, smoothies, certain sandwiches, and IMHO, eggs)... But many foods are just as good, or close to it leftover. Certain foods are better!
Virtually every single person I have ever heard poo-poo leftovers had a body I found unappealing.

marielle

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 468
  • Age: 24
  • Location: North Carolina
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2933 on: May 09, 2017, 01:46:14 PM »
I love leftovers, but I know many people, it seems, that refuse to eat them.  I really don't get it, is it the idea that it's "leftover" gross/unappealing, or the texture, or what?  If you cut a few slices of cheese, do you throw away the rest of the block? The rest of the milk after serving some at dinner? Basically anything in the fridge that you keep for several uses is "leftover." 

I am baffled by this viewpoint.

I cook all of my food on Sunday, usually 3-4 recipes. My problem is that I hate eating the same thing over and over. This usually results in my boyfriend eating some of my portions when he comes back for the weekend. Still, I don't use that as an excuse to eat out for lunch or dinner. I just eat some toast or something simple as a meal or just skip lunch altogether. I never get takeout when I'm alone--the only exceptions in the past year were Christmas and my birthday. Takeout/restaurants are purely for a social gathering or date. I'll never understand how people can eat restaurant food on a daily basis, by themselves.

Fiscal_Hawk

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 43
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2934 on: May 09, 2017, 02:10:56 PM »
SIL is visiting. Visit is going well. But we went to a winery and had drinks and pizza.  When we were done they asked us if we wanted a to go box. We said yes.  She laughed and said for two slices?". Um, hell yes. That's lunch!

?  how would someone not be all over some leftover pizza?  Cold day old pizza for breakfast is better than any omelet or pancakes - fact.  It is not even at the level of wasting food or thriftiness this is about taste and awesomeness and pizza.

I've since learned she doesn't eat leftovers, but also doesn't think you should take them home if you have less than half the meal.
Weird.

That is odd. I figure you paid for the meal. If you don't consume it all, you should take it home and finish it at another time. Otherwise, you are wasting food and money.

TravelJunkyQC

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 437
  • Age: 30
  • Location: Québec City, Canada
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2935 on: May 09, 2017, 02:23:19 PM »
SIL is visiting. Visit is going well. But we went to a winery and had drinks and pizza.  When we were done they asked us if we wanted a to go box. We said yes.  She laughed and said for two slices?". Um, hell yes. That's lunch!

?  how would someone not be all over some leftover pizza?  Cold day old pizza for breakfast is better than any omelet or pancakes - fact.  It is not even at the level of wasting food or thriftiness this is about taste and awesomeness and pizza.

I've since learned she doesn't eat leftovers, but also doesn't think you should take them home if you have less than half the meal.
Weird.

That is odd. I figure you paid for the meal. If you don't consume it all, you should take it home and finish it at another time. Otherwise, you are wasting food and money.

I've been known to take home other people's leftovers as well (only those at my table, like family or friends, who I trust not to have mouth health issues, of course). Food is food. And good food in the garbage is unacceptable to me.

iowajes

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4551
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2936 on: May 09, 2017, 03:35:22 PM »
I've taken other people's leftovers if it is something Like sushi rolls where they didn't touch it with their mouth.

I don't eat out much (and really trying not to with my current gauntlet) but if I pay for it, I eat every bite.

And all our cooked meals at home are made with lunches in mind.

jinga nation

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 601
  • Location: 'Murica's Wang
  • Left, Right, Peddlin' Shite
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2937 on: May 10, 2017, 05:57:09 AM »
I've been known to take home other people's leftovers as well (only those at my table, like family or friends, who I trust not to have mouth health issues, of course). Food is food. And good food in the garbage is unacceptable to me.
I've taken other people's leftovers if it is something Like sushi rolls where they didn't touch it with their mouth.

I don't eat out much (and really trying not to with my current gauntlet) but if I pay for it, I eat every bite.

And all our cooked meals at home are made with lunches in mind.

I was born and raised in a 3rd world country. The thought of food waste is terrifying to me. It was normal for middle-class school children to raise money for charities like "Freedom from Hunger" and collect food and clothing donations. And then go on the donation drive to distribute these.
I get a lot of stick for behavior like Iowajes' and TravelJunkyQC's.
A waste is a terrible thing to mind. It's worse than going to hell for a Mustachian.
If I genuinely enjoy my profession and workplace, is there a reason to FIRE? Keep Calm and Carry On Milking.

ysette9

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1516
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2938 on: May 10, 2017, 09:19:47 AM »
Quote
And good food in the garbage is unacceptable to me.

Quote
I was born and raised in a 3rd world country. The thought of food waste is terrifying to me

I can't imagine what it must be like to have been raised like that, but I can appreciate how it would give you a very different perspective on food and the waste that you see all around you. It isn't the same, but my grandmother grew up in England during war rationing and to this day finishes every single scrap of food on her plate, whether she is hungry or not.

We really could be better about not letting food go to waste in our fridge. Actually, the burden mostly falls upon me since my kid gets three meals a day at daycare and my husband gets three free meals a day at work (!). The thing I console myself with when tossing stuff that went bad is that at least it is going into the compost, and next year we'll go pick up a big bag of beautiful, warm, dark soil that is currently making my tomato plants go nuts in the garden.
"It'll be great!"

Cassie

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3658
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2939 on: May 10, 2017, 04:47:38 PM »
A few years ago my DH was preapproved to have an expensive procedure for cancer done at an out of network hospital for the in network price. So the insurance pays the out of network price etc and I fight with them and the hospital for a year. I did not pay the bill because I knew from working for an insurance company decades ago that once the $ was paid good luck getting it back from the hospital. So finally I go in person to the insurance company and get a supervisor to work on it. I tried to do the same at the hospital but they only allow phone calls about bills. If you go in person they lie and tell y that department is in another state I found out later.  So the insurance is motivated to get this resolved and it turns out that the hospital failed to ask the insurance company for something that was required for them to pay the in-network price and it was their responsibility.  Bottom line is the hospital is out the $ not me.  Once you pay it is all over but the crying.

iowajes

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4551
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2940 on: May 10, 2017, 05:58:53 PM »
I've gotten multiple reimbursements from my hospital.usually when they charged a copay without realizing I had met my out of pocket max.

Gone_Hiking

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: Arizona
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2941 on: May 10, 2017, 11:11:07 PM »
Some people seem to be more prone to drama than others...

Second or third cousins.  The wife decided to sell the home three years ago and move to be closer to her sister.  To a bigger home with a gourmet kitchen.  Shortly afterwards, she starts complaining about the mortgage costs.  She can only work part time for health reasons.  Her husband, well, can't keep a job,  bad temper and all.   But someone gave them a mortgage and now they have a nice home with a gourmet kitchen.  The wife and her sister don't meet much - we hear complaints that the sister seems to be avoiding the wife.

There is more.  Last month, the wife decided to buy a new car, a Cadillac or a Lincoln to boot.  So her husband went out and bought a new car as well.  Two days ago... the wife didn't stop on time and hit a truck stopped at a red light from the back.  Six and half thousand dollars to fix the front end where it came into an intimate contact with the truck.   They used to be just house poor.  Now they are car-poor, too.

JLee

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3641
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2942 on: May 10, 2017, 11:22:21 PM »
Some people seem to be more prone to drama than others...

Second or third cousins.  The wife decided to sell the home three years ago and move to be closer to her sister.  To a bigger home with a gourmet kitchen.  Shortly afterwards, she starts complaining about the mortgage costs.  She can only work part time for health reasons.  Her husband, well, can't keep a job,  bad temper and all.   But someone gave them a mortgage and now they have a nice home with a gourmet kitchen.  The wife and her sister don't meet much - we hear complaints that the sister seems to be avoiding the wife.

There is more.  Last month, the wife decided to buy a new car, a Cadillac or a Lincoln to boot.  So her husband went out and bought a new car as well.  Two days ago... the wife didn't stop on time and hit a truck stopped at a red light from the back. Six and half thousand dollars to fix the front end where it came into an intimate contact with the truck.   They used to be just house poor.  Now they are car-poor, too.

Either their insurance will cover it or they paid cash for their vehicles.  Nobody will give you a loan without comprehensive/collision coverage.

Tasty Pinecones

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 762
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2943 on: May 11, 2017, 08:29:43 AM »
I was looking at eBay the other day. Those luxury vehicles with automatic speed adjusting cruise control? They rely on a sensor in the grill of the car that costs multiple thousands of dollars. A small rear-ender could get expensive fast.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3354
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2944 on: May 11, 2017, 09:07:15 AM »
Some people seem to be more prone to drama than others...

Second or third cousins.  The wife decided to sell the home three years ago and move to be closer to her sister.  To a bigger home with a gourmet kitchen.  Shortly afterwards, she starts complaining about the mortgage costs.  She can only work part time for health reasons.  Her husband, well, can't keep a job,  bad temper and all.   But someone gave them a mortgage and now they have a nice home with a gourmet kitchen.  The wife and her sister don't meet much - we hear complaints that the sister seems to be avoiding the wife.

There is more.  Last month, the wife decided to buy a new car, a Cadillac or a Lincoln to boot.  So her husband went out and bought a new car as well.  Two days ago... the wife didn't stop on time and hit a truck stopped at a red light from the back. Six and half thousand dollars to fix the front end where it came into an intimate contact with the truck.   They used to be just house poor.  Now they are car-poor, too.

Either their insurance will cover it or they paid cash for their vehicles.  Nobody will give you a loan without comprehensive/collision coverage.

They could have paid for the damages out of pocket.

nnls

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 857
  • Location: Perth, AU
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2945 on: May 11, 2017, 06:09:42 PM »
Some people seem to be more prone to drama than others...

Second or third cousins.  The wife decided to sell the home three years ago and move to be closer to her sister.  To a bigger home with a gourmet kitchen.  Shortly afterwards, she starts complaining about the mortgage costs.  She can only work part time for health reasons.  Her husband, well, can't keep a job,  bad temper and all.   But someone gave them a mortgage and now they have a nice home with a gourmet kitchen.  The wife and her sister don't meet much - we hear complaints that the sister seems to be avoiding the wife.

There is more.  Last month, the wife decided to buy a new car, a Cadillac or a Lincoln to boot.  So her husband went out and bought a new car as well.  Two days ago... the wife didn't stop on time and hit a truck stopped at a red light from the back. Six and half thousand dollars to fix the front end where it came into an intimate contact with the truck.   They used to be just house poor.  Now they are car-poor, too.

Either their insurance will cover it or they paid cash for their vehicles.  Nobody will give you a loan without comprehensive/collision coverage.

They could have paid for the damages out of pocket.

I use to work for an insurance company. People would call up and cancel their insurance all the time after driving their car off the lot, as they couldn't afford the premiums

SwordGuy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2983
  • Location: Fayetteville, NC
    • Flipping Fayetteville
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2946 on: May 11, 2017, 06:31:54 PM »
A few years ago I switched from one telephone company to another.

The phone kept working after the transfer-over day so I figured all was well.

Then I got two bills, and the old company's bill wasn't a partial month bill.

So I contacted both parties and asked them to figure it out.

Both said they were supplying the service and I should pay them.

I told them there was no way I could possibly know who was telling the truth, so they needed to work it out among themselves and let me know when they were in agreement.  Until then,  I would pay neither of them, since the only leverage I had over the situation is that they wanted my money and I still had it.

This went on for about 4 months.

At that point, I was tired of dealing with it.

I called them both up and explained to them the following facts:

1) One of them was telling the truth and, therefore, one of them was not.
2) I had 4 months of bills from the party that was billing me for services they were not providing.
3) As far as I was concerned, billing me for services they were not providing, after having 4 months to clear up any honest mistakes, was fraudulent behavior.
4) Since the fraudulent bills were sent by the US Postal service, that constituted 4 counts of mail fraud.
5) If it wasn't settled in 3 days I would be letting the United States Postal Service and the United States Prosecutor decide who was telling the truth.
6) I would also be contacting the relevant federal and state agencies, and my federal and state legislators, to apprise them of this fraudulent behavior.

The problem got solved in less than 3 days.

And people wonder why I resist getting my official invoices from companies via email...

Gone_Hiking

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: Arizona
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2947 on: May 12, 2017, 07:53:18 AM »
Some people seem to be more prone to drama than others...

Second or third cousins.  The wife decided to sell the home three years ago and move to be closer to her sister.  To a bigger home with a gourmet kitchen.  Shortly afterwards, she starts complaining about the mortgage costs.  She can only work part time for health reasons.  Her husband, well, can't keep a job,  bad temper and all.   But someone gave them a mortgage and now they have a nice home with a gourmet kitchen.  The wife and her sister don't meet much - we hear complaints that the sister seems to be avoiding the wife.

There is more.  Last month, the wife decided to buy a new car, a Cadillac or a Lincoln to boot.  So her husband went out and bought a new car as well.  Two days ago... the wife didn't stop on time and hit a truck stopped at a red light from the back. Six and half thousand dollars to fix the front end where it came into an intimate contact with the truck.   They used to be just house poor.  Now they are car-poor, too.

Either their insurance will cover it or they paid cash for their vehicles.  Nobody will give you a loan without comprehensive/collision coverage.

Yeah, but the insurance premium will go up.  The wife was at fault.

iowajes

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4551
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2948 on: May 12, 2017, 07:55:55 AM »
Some people seem to be more prone to drama than others...

Second or third cousins.  The wife decided to sell the home three years ago and move to be closer to her sister.  To a bigger home with a gourmet kitchen.  Shortly afterwards, she starts complaining about the mortgage costs.  She can only work part time for health reasons.  Her husband, well, can't keep a job,  bad temper and all.   But someone gave them a mortgage and now they have a nice home with a gourmet kitchen.  The wife and her sister don't meet much - we hear complaints that the sister seems to be avoiding the wife.

There is more.  Last month, the wife decided to buy a new car, a Cadillac or a Lincoln to boot.  So her husband went out and bought a new car as well.  Two days ago... the wife didn't stop on time and hit a truck stopped at a red light from the back. Six and half thousand dollars to fix the front end where it came into an intimate contact with the truck.   They used to be just house poor.  Now they are car-poor, too.

Either their insurance will cover it or they paid cash for their vehicles.  Nobody will give you a loan without comprehensive/collision coverage.

They could have paid for the damages out of pocket.

I use to work for an insurance company. People would call up and cancel their insurance all the time after driving their car off the lot, as they couldn't afford the premiums

I remember when I was in Ohio there was a company that sold policies just for this. They were like 2 week policies. I couldn't believe it was legal.  Not just collision but liability too.

Tasty Pinecones

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 762
Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #2949 on: May 12, 2017, 08:56:10 AM »
When I was younger my state didn't even require insurance. Some people didn't carry it.

When I was living overseas there was a backroom operation I knew about that would print insurance papers for about the price of dinner. How you used it was your problem. Looked real but wouldn't survive a call to the insurance company of course. Police used to do spot checks on insurance and registration.Ii can't imagine taking the risk of lying.