Author Topic: Relatives who just don't get it  (Read 831022 times)

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1200 on: April 22, 2016, 08:37:09 AM »
We had a baby a few months ago. My family keeps sending us stuff from my childhood. Of course we don't need it, and definitely don't need it urgently. But they send everything Priority Mail. Some random blankets he won't use? Priority Mail. Some 35 year old clothes he doesn't need? Priority Mail. Some old quilts? Priority Mail. Sigh.

Don't underestimate the postal workers trying to pad the charges when they see customers who don't know all the options.  My MIL mailed a bunch of boxes to our home in advance of her move, and the post office clearly saw a sucker and took full advantage.  They told her that "FRAGILE" stickers were required and charged her an extra $10/box.  If they added more tape to the package b/c they didn't think hers was enough, she paid for the roll.  I had informed her about media mail and parcel post, and they often dissuaded her by stating that she wouldn't have insurance.  I cringed as box after box arrived, with shipping charges of $70 - $110 clearly marked on the label.

To be fair, this was more than partially her fault, she HAD to pack these things to take them with her. Four months later, she's gone on a shopping spree and bought a lot of new stuff, and those boxes sit in the spare bedroom, never touched.  She and my FIL are retired, so lack of time isn't the issue.  A total waste of over $1,600 in shipping costs.  However, if we had gotten her the moving truck she wanted, I can only imagine that she would have spent $4K+, had even more boxes, and still done the same thing.  So somehow this was the "better" option...

These were shipping labels printed from home. Maybe via PayPal or something like that. So no post office clerks involved. She just selected from the various options which state how much they cost.

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1201 on: April 22, 2016, 08:39:17 AM »
Congratulations to this thread for getting over 200,000 views!

Condolences for all those clueless relatives.

jinga nation

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1202 on: April 22, 2016, 08:40:32 AM »
My mom calls me at work at least once a week wanting directions. She has a smartphone with GPS and I have showed her how to use it but she refuses to learn and then won't let me talk her into turning it on because "I'm running late," and yet continues to do this again and again.
A. You're of Indian descent.
B. You don't get fazed by tech stuff.
C. Hence, you'll always be tech support for your parents.
D. Can confirm, I'm all of the above for my parents, and grandma, and uncle's family, and bro's family. Not only for computers and smartphones, but HVAC, appliance repair, plumbing and handyman jobs.
E. I'm constantly informed that since I have 2 engineering degrees, I'm the only qualified person for D.
F. My life.
If I genuinely enjoy my profession and workplace, is there a reason to FIRE? Keep Calm and Carry On Milking.

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1203 on: April 22, 2016, 08:50:45 AM »
My mom calls me at work at least once a week wanting directions. She has a smartphone with GPS and I have showed her how to use it but she refuses to learn and then won't let me talk her into turning it on because "I'm running late," and yet continues to do this again and again.
A. You're of Indian descent.
B. You don't get fazed by tech stuff.
C. Hence, you'll always be tech support for your parents.
D. Can confirm, I'm all of the above for my parents, and grandma, and uncle's family, and bro's family. Not only for computers and smartphones, but HVAC, appliance repair, plumbing and handyman jobs.
E. I'm constantly informed that since I have 2 engineering degrees, I'm the only qualified person for D.
F. My life.

So true!

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1204 on: April 22, 2016, 08:58:36 AM »
My mom calls me at work at least once a week wanting directions. She has a smartphone with GPS and I have showed her how to use it but she refuses to learn and then won't let me talk her into turning it on because "I'm running late," and yet continues to do this again and again.

I call my mom now and then for cooking advice. I could also go on the internet or use a book I guess. Remember she probably thought you how to use a spoon at some point in your life.

The free tech support expectations I understand, it's pretty annoying, especially when the same stupid stuff happens for over and over again. Then again I don't want my family paying 60 an hour for computer repairs.

Making Cookies

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1205 on: April 22, 2016, 09:04:35 AM »
Last time my mother took her computer to the Geek-Squad they sold her anti-virus software that she did not need and her computer could not run efficiently. Then she called me (I do IT support at work among other things) and complained to me that her old computer was really, really slow.

No, I encourage friends and family to call me rather than pay someone else.

Have slowly encouraged family to consider buying a Mac or let me help them convert to Mint Linux. Few do anything but Facebook, email and surf the web.

Windows is fine but when everything "looks legit" they click on everything and it gets messy.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1206 on: April 22, 2016, 10:05:39 AM »
My mom calls me at work at least once a week wanting directions. She has a smartphone with GPS and I have showed her how to use it but she refuses to learn and then won't let me talk her into turning it on because "I'm running late," and yet continues to do this again and again.

I call my mom now and then for cooking advice. I could also go on the internet or use a book I guess. Remember she probably thought you how to use a spoon at some point in your life.
I call my mom for cooking advice too. So often the internet has 6 ways to do it, and my mom's a great cook, so she can tell me which one's actually right.

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1207 on: April 22, 2016, 10:14:23 AM »
My mom calls me at work at least once a week wanting directions. She has a smartphone with GPS and I have showed her how to use it but she refuses to learn and then won't let me talk her into turning it on because "I'm running late," and yet continues to do this again and again.

I call my mom now and then for cooking advice. I could also go on the internet or use a book I guess. Remember she probably thought you how to use a spoon at some point in your life.
I call my mom for cooking advice too. So often the internet has 6 ways to do it, and my mom's a great cook, so she can tell me which one's actually right.

I hope you aren't calling her at work, that's the issue of my complaint. It's one thing if I was at home reading or watching TV, but  it's hard to tell your mom that you can't help her when she's panicking because she's lost and needs help. Or when she calls back a 15 minutes later because she's still lost. I'm still going to help her, but this is a place for me to vent it.

Sibley

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1208 on: April 22, 2016, 10:23:20 AM »
My mom calls me at work at least once a week wanting directions. She has a smartphone with GPS and I have showed her how to use it but she refuses to learn and then won't let me talk her into turning it on because "I'm running late," and yet continues to do this again and again.
A. You're of Indian descent.
B. You don't get fazed by tech stuff.
C. Hence, you'll always be tech support for your parents.
D. Can confirm, I'm all of the above for my parents, and grandma, and uncle's family, and bro's family. Not only for computers and smartphones, but HVAC, appliance repair, plumbing and handyman jobs.
E. I'm constantly informed that since I have 2 engineering degrees, I'm the only qualified person for D.
F. My life.

Ok, I get it, but she's calling you at work. You're running the risk of getting in trouble at work and most likely really bugging your coworkers, because your mom isn't willing to learn something new. So, very politely tell her that you won't be able to talk to her at work unless it's an emergency (someone's in the hospital, etc). If she calls and it's not an emergency, tell her that you're at work and can't talk then and hang up. Rinse and repeat. She'll be upset, but will hopefully figure out that she's putting your professional reputation and JOB in jeopardy.

I've got a co-worker with adult children who call her all the time because they need help with stupid stuff. I'm extremely annoyed by this. It's distracting to me, and I really wish I could tell her that her kids are losers and that she needs to enforce a no-call time while she's at work. Really, I think worse of this woman because her adult children are always calling (younger kids, I get it, but even then I may get annoyed if it's more than a quick 'I'm home now'). But I can't say anything.

RysChristensen

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1209 on: April 22, 2016, 11:59:27 AM »

F. My life.

The cat just looked at me funny for laughing hysterically...

Pooperman

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1210 on: April 22, 2016, 12:04:49 PM »

F. My life.

The cat just looked at me funny for laughing hysterically...

The answer, of course, is:

F. That.

jinga nation

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1211 on: April 22, 2016, 12:14:16 PM »

F. My life.

The cat just looked at me funny for laughing hysterically...

The answer, of course, is:

F. That.

No. The answer is:

G. The F. outta here.
If I genuinely enjoy my profession and workplace, is there a reason to FIRE? Keep Calm and Carry On Milking.

mm1970

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1212 on: April 22, 2016, 01:09:22 PM »
My mom calls me at work at least once a week wanting directions. She has a smartphone with GPS and I have showed her how to use it but she refuses to learn and then won't let me talk her into turning it on because "I'm running late," and yet continues to do this again and again.
A. You're of Indian descent.
B. You don't get fazed by tech stuff.
C. Hence, you'll always be tech support for your parents.
D. Can confirm, I'm all of the above for my parents, and grandma, and uncle's family, and bro's family. Not only for computers and smartphones, but HVAC, appliance repair, plumbing and handyman jobs.
E. I'm constantly informed that since I have 2 engineering degrees, I'm the only qualified person for D.
F. My life.

Ha!  My hubby is a EE, and he's "the guy" everyone calls with computer, TV, etc problems.  I mean, he's 3000 miles away from them.

ender

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1213 on: April 23, 2016, 07:51:08 AM »
My mom calls me at work at least once a week wanting directions. She has a smartphone with GPS and I have showed her how to use it but she refuses to learn and then won't let me talk her into turning it on because "I'm running late," and yet continues to do this again and again.
A. You're of Indian descent.
B. You don't get fazed by tech stuff.
C. Hence, you'll always be tech support for your parents.
D. Can confirm, I'm all of the above for my parents, and grandma, and uncle's family, and bro's family. Not only for computers and smartphones, but HVAC, appliance repair, plumbing and handyman jobs.
E. I'm constantly informed that since I have 2 engineering degrees, I'm the only qualified person for D.
F. My life.

Ha!  My hubby is a EE, and he's "the guy" everyone calls with computer, TV, etc problems.  I mean, he's 3000 miles away from them.

I'm a software developer and have the opposite problem - my dad likes to complain about computer issues and then not listen to anything I say.

I'll take that over being tech support, any day :-)

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1214 on: April 23, 2016, 11:37:37 AM »
My mom calls me at work at least once a week wanting directions. She has a smartphone with GPS and I have showed her how to use it but she refuses to learn and then won't let me talk her into turning it on because "I'm running late," and yet continues to do this again and again.
A. You're of Indian descent.
B. You don't get fazed by tech stuff.
C. Hence, you'll always be tech support for your parents.
D. Can confirm, I'm all of the above for my parents, and grandma, and uncle's family, and bro's family. Not only for computers and smartphones, but HVAC, appliance repair, plumbing and handyman jobs.
E. I'm constantly informed that since I have 2 engineering degrees, I'm the only qualified person for D.
F. My life.

Ok, I get it, but she's calling you at work. You're running the risk of getting in trouble at work and most likely really bugging your coworkers, because your mom isn't willing to learn something new. So, very politely tell her that you won't be able to talk to her at work unless it's an emergency (someone's in the hospital, etc). If she calls and it's not an emergency, tell her that you're at work and can't talk then and hang up. Rinse and repeat. She'll be upset, but will hopefully figure out that she's putting your professional reputation and JOB in jeopardy.


It's a family-run company and I'm part of the family, so I can't even pull the whole "I have to work thing," because she's married to the principal owner, my father. Like I said, I'm willing to help her, but I would prefer for her to at least know how to turn GPS on because there  I can't answer the phone most times.

jinga nation

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1215 on: April 25, 2016, 10:29:47 AM »
My mom calls me at work at least once a week wanting directions. She has a smartphone with GPS and I have showed her how to use it but she refuses to learn and then won't let me talk her into turning it on because "I'm running late," and yet continues to do this again and again.
A. You're of Indian descent.
B. You don't get fazed by tech stuff.
C. Hence, you'll always be tech support for your parents.
D. Can confirm, I'm all of the above for my parents, and grandma, and uncle's family, and bro's family. Not only for computers and smartphones, but HVAC, appliance repair, plumbing and handyman jobs.
E. I'm constantly informed that since I have 2 engineering degrees, I'm the only qualified person for D.
F. My life.

Ok, I get it, but she's calling you at work. You're running the risk of getting in trouble at work and most likely really bugging your coworkers, because your mom isn't willing to learn something new. So, very politely tell her that you won't be able to talk to her at work unless it's an emergency (someone's in the hospital, etc). If she calls and it's not an emergency, tell her that you're at work and can't talk then and hang up. Rinse and repeat. She'll be upset, but will hopefully figure out that she's putting your professional reputation and JOB in jeopardy.


It's a family-run company and I'm part of the family, so I can't even pull the whole "I have to work thing," because she's married to the principal owner, my father. Like I said, I'm willing to help her, but I would prefer for her to at least know how to turn GPS on because there  I can't answer the phone most times.

I was going to say that you need to tell your mom to separate business from personal stuff. However, she may listen to you and instead of treating you like her son, she'll treat you like a servant from the old country. So tread vewwy vewwy carefully...
If I genuinely enjoy my profession and workplace, is there a reason to FIRE? Keep Calm and Carry On Milking.

RagingRanter

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1216 on: April 25, 2016, 08:12:24 PM »
My brother-in-law and his squeeze routinely buy several Tim Hortons X-Large Triple-Triples (that's three sugars, three creams) each day. Sometimes they'll do this on the way to the food bank. He's on disability for some vague psychiatric reason, she works one and sometimes two low wage jobs. I tried explaining to them that they might be pleasantly surprised at how much money they'd save by just making their own coffee at home. "IT'S NOT THE SAME!!" they both shouted at me almost in unison. Any Canadians on this board will know how substandard Timmy's coffee is. But apparently it's an essential nutrient for these two. Almost as essential as her cigarettes.

Same couple: Their oven or fridge had just given out (I forget which).  Well-off neighbours were selling a slightly used (one year old) high end fridge & stove. Couple oooohed and ahhhed over said appliances, but said they couldn't afford them. Neighbour felt bad for them, and offered to drop the price from $1000 to $600 for both. Now they really wanted them, but still couldn't pay for them. Said neighbour took even more pity on them, and offered to let them pay $100 per month. SOLD! At the same time, the Ontario government was harmonizing its provincial sales tax with the federal sales tax, and because this meant the Ontario portion now applied to more goods and services than before, they were offering a one time tax credit of anywhere from $300 to more than $1000, depending on income. Said couple got a nice cheque for over $1000. So of course they ran straight over to the neighbour and paid him the $500 they still owed. Right? WRONG! "He said we can pay $100 per month." Instead they installed a big above ground swimming pool in their yard, and some nice lawn furniture to go with it. I have no idea what the neighbour thought when he drove by and saw that pool, but I can pretty much guarantee that he'll never waste his generosity on them again.

Same couple: The BiL's squeeze has an 18 year old daughter living at home. Said daughter had a chance to go to college for FREE (low income students can do that here in Ontario now). Mom talked her out of it, and convinced her to get a job at the low wage place she works instead. With her first cheque, daughter got herself a dog (dogs are cheap right?). Then, to seal the deal (i.e. to make sure daughter can never afford to leave home, so needy insecure mother never has to spend a day without her), mother convinced her daughter to buy a brand new car. I found out about the car because she posted it on Facebook, and thanked her uncle profusely for "making this happen". At first I thought the uncle (who is the mother's brother, and apparently wealthy) had bought it for her, but turns out he just cosigned. So, mother has basically ensured that her daughter remains a poor, uneducated, indebted bumpkin her entire life, unable to afford even to move out of the house. And this task has been wrapped up before the daughter's 19th birthday. Quite brilliant really. I suppose there is some practicality in the car. It's a little hatchback, so they'll have room to load more stuff from the food bank.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2016, 08:16:00 PM by RagingRanter »

Seppia

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1217 on: April 26, 2016, 01:58:40 AM »
Wow, just wow.
Luckily I have zero stories to share about my parents, who are a mix of extreme mustachianism with a passion and dedication for work (my dad is a doctor and if he could he would work till age 167).

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1218 on: April 26, 2016, 08:09:55 AM »
buy a brand new car.

But she deserves something nice for working so hard....

:)

paddedhat

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1219 on: April 26, 2016, 08:24:24 AM »
Any Canadians on this board will know how substandard Timmy's coffee is.

Well, as an American, I would have to say that your country's disgust with the unpalatable Horny Tim's swill is certainly expressed in an oddly Canadian manner. That being, your fellow countrymen are totally addicted to the stuff. Every few years I get the odd urge to take the RV on a road trip from the northeast to Alaska. I have stopped at Timmy's on a few occasions, and have never seen one that was even close to being slow, or empty. It's nothing to be there at a slow time, say 3PM. and be five or ten back in line. I once witnessed a small town in rural BC. that was nearly paralyzed by a traffic jamb, at ten AM. The reason?  The local Timmy's had a drive thru line that was circling the building, flowing into the street, and was blocking a major intersection. The pedestrian traffic was also out the door.

I share your personal opinion, however. They never did much for me.  They are apparently migrating south, in an aggressive fashion. My daughter just commented that there is a new one opening in her city, about an hour north of Philadelphia.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1220 on: April 26, 2016, 10:00:48 AM »
Any Canadians on this board will know how substandard Timmy's coffee is.

Well, as an American, I would have to say that your country's disgust with the unpalatable Horny Tim's swill is certainly expressed in an oddly Canadian manner. That being, your fellow countrymen are totally addicted to the stuff. Every few years I get the odd urge to take the RV on a road trip from the northeast to Alaska. I have stopped at Timmy's on a few occasions, and have never seen one that was even close to being slow, or empty. It's nothing to be there at a slow time, say 3PM. and be five or ten back in line. I once witnessed a small town in rural BC. that was nearly paralyzed by a traffic jamb, at ten AM. The reason?  The local Timmy's had a drive thru line that was circling the building, flowing into the street, and was blocking a major intersection. The pedestrian traffic was also out the door.

I share your personal opinion, however. They never did much for me.  They are apparently migrating south, in an aggressive fashion. My daughter just commented that there is a new one opening in her city, about an hour north of Philadelphia.

I always thought their coffee was dreadful, but I had a thing for their "Timbits" donut holes. Back when they cooked their donuts in-house they were definitely a treat. Last time I was in a Tim's, though, the donuts were not made fresh so I lost interest immediately. It seems to me they're running on hype now.
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Proud Foot

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1221 on: April 26, 2016, 10:59:34 AM »
Any Canadians on this board will know how substandard Timmy's coffee is.

Well, as an American, I would have to say that your country's disgust with the unpalatable Horny Tim's swill is certainly expressed in an oddly Canadian manner. That being, your fellow countrymen are totally addicted to the stuff. Every few years I get the odd urge to take the RV on a road trip from the northeast to Alaska. I have stopped at Timmy's on a few occasions, and have never seen one that was even close to being slow, or empty. It's nothing to be there at a slow time, say 3PM. and be five or ten back in line. I once witnessed a small town in rural BC. that was nearly paralyzed by a traffic jamb, at ten AM. The reason?  The local Timmy's had a drive thru line that was circling the building, flowing into the street, and was blocking a major intersection. The pedestrian traffic was also out the door.

I share your personal opinion, however. They never did much for me.  They are apparently migrating south, in an aggressive fashion. My daughter just commented that there is a new one opening in her city, about an hour north of Philadelphia.

I always thought their coffee was dreadful, but I had a thing for their "Timbits" donut holes. Back when they cooked their donuts in-house they were definitely a treat. Last time I was in a Tim's, though, the donuts were not made fresh so I lost interest immediately. It seems to me they're running on hype now.

Having a sister-in-law living in Canada I have heard about decrease in quality in Tim Hortons coffee and donuts.  Seems like it all happened when they merged with Burger King. Never was there to have it before the merger but I can definitely say their coffee was sub-par when was there last year and had it.

skeeder

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1222 on: April 26, 2016, 01:24:11 PM »
Wow, just wow.
Luckily I have zero stories to share about my parents, who are a mix of extreme mustachianism with a passion and dedication for work (my dad is a doctor and if he could he would work till age 167).

Hear Hear.

I suddenly have no complaints about my families spending habits (I do...but suddenly they seem, much less...painful).

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forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1223 on: April 27, 2016, 05:09:08 PM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Nederstash

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1224 on: April 28, 2016, 02:47:36 AM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Either there's something very wrong with his pituitary gland or he's got baby dragons. Bless his heart, he's in for a rough time.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1225 on: April 28, 2016, 06:17:25 AM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Either there's something very wrong with his pituitary gland or he's got baby dragons. Bless his heart, he's in for a rough time.

Classic. Thank you for the laugh.
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Inaya

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1226 on: April 28, 2016, 02:37:33 PM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Either there's something very wrong with his pituitary gland or he's got baby dragons. Bless his heart, he's in for a rough time.


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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1227 on: April 28, 2016, 03:13:47 PM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Either there's something very wrong with his pituitary gland or he's got baby dragons. Bless his heart, he's in for a rough time.


MHYSA!
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Ironically it would be difficult for the Mother of Dragons to reach FIRE... groceries and mortgage payments would be, like the dragons, through the roof. Not to mention property taxes, insurance, blood money for the dead neighbourhood kids...

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1228 on: April 28, 2016, 04:05:59 PM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Either there's something very wrong with his pituitary gland or he's got baby dragons. Bless his heart, he's in for a rough time.


MHYSA!
(Sorry not sorry.)

Ironically it would be difficult for the Mother of Dragons to reach FIRE... groceries and mortgage payments would be, like the dragons, through the roof. Not to mention property taxes, insurance, blood money for the dead neighbourhood kids...

On the bright side at least she'll get to keep her 1,000 horses ;)

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1229 on: April 28, 2016, 05:27:02 PM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Either there's something very wrong with his pituitary gland or he's got baby dragons. Bless his heart, he's in for a rough time.


MHYSA!
(Sorry not sorry.)

Ironically it would be difficult for the Mother of Dragons to reach FIRE... groceries and mortgage payments would be, like the dragons, through the roof. Not to mention property taxes, insurance, blood money for the dead neighbourhood kids...

Nah, she'd just go conquer another city to pay the bills for the first one.
I squeak softly, but carry a big schtick.

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1230 on: April 29, 2016, 08:22:39 AM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Either there's something very wrong with his pituitary gland or he's got baby dragons. Bless his heart, he's in for a rough time.


MHYSA!
(Sorry not sorry.)

Ironically it would be difficult for the Mother of Dragons to reach FIRE... groceries and mortgage payments would be, like the dragons, through the roof. Not to mention property taxes, insurance, blood money for the dead neighbourhood kids...

Actually, she has plenty of FIRE. See the part about the "dragons".

And the dragons could provide a lot of income. Hiring them out to crazed, ambitious lords to help them rule the realm could be a good retirement gig. Or she could just get over her silly delaying and get to Westeros already, conquer it, and then the tax revenues would be like a pension for her.

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1231 on: April 29, 2016, 09:00:13 AM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Either there's something very wrong with his pituitary gland or he's got baby dragons. Bless his heart, he's in for a rough time.


MHYSA!
(Sorry not sorry.)

Ironically it would be difficult for the Mother of Dragons to reach FIRE... groceries and mortgage payments would be, like the dragons, through the roof. Not to mention property taxes, insurance, blood money for the dead neighbourhood kids...

Actually, she has plenty of FIRE. See the part about the "dragons".

And the dragons could provide a lot of income. Hiring them out to crazed, ambitious lords to help them rule the realm could be a good retirement gig. Or she could just get over her silly delaying and get to Westeros already, conquer it, and then the tax revenues would be like a pension for her.

Spoilers alert, the tax revenues in Westeros are in shambles. They are in the midst of a sovereign debt crisis!

https://www.1843magazine.com/culture/the-daily/game-of-loans?fsrc=scn/tw/te/bl/ed/gameofloans1843

exterous

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1232 on: April 29, 2016, 09:23:58 AM »
I have a SIL who drives me nuts with her decisions. It started out when we noticed that apparently my wife and her were in competition even though neither myself nor my wife were aware of that. After I proposed to my then fiancee we set a wedding date 2 years out. My future SIL shortly thereafter got engaged to her BF who had already cheated on her once. She set the date two months before ours which forced the many out of state relatives to choose one or the other wedding to go to. During the process she kept pointing out how they were spending more money on their wedding and honeymoon than we were and 'how nice' everything of theirs will be. Well they had countless problems with their food which was pretty terrible. For years afterwards relatives would randomly bring up, often in front of SIL, how great our food was as they looked for caterers and pricing for various other weddings. Always made me smile

We bought a used, low mileage, base model Civic for our first car together. 6 months later she comes to visit in a fully loaded Lincoln SUV with 90,000 miles on it that she just got and paid some obscene amount on especially considering how much they made as a couple. We always needed to take her car when we went out together as she 'needs the room' compared to our car (She's normal height and size) and 'while our car is nice she just likes hers better' (and then points out things like moonroof, navigation etc)

Three weeks after we bought our first house after the market crash SIL bought a house. They hadn't even been looking but after she found out we bought ours they bought literally the third house for sale they saw. They didn't even go inside the house before finding a realtor to put down a $5k over asking offer (Over asking? Right after the housing market crash?! And you haven't been inside??!!)

Not long after they got married SIL's husband cheats on her again. SIL forgives husband and they decide to have a child together because why not bring a child into an obviously stable relationship. 2 years later she catches him cheating on her again and, finally, 3 times is enough. They divorce.

Now she complains about money all the time. Her high mileage SUV needs a lot of repairs as the fancy gadgets keep breaking. Doesn't stop her from adding in two back of seat DVD players for her single child. She splits custody almost 50/50 but complains that she doesn't have any free time working 20 hours a week part time. She has been almost fired twice from her part time job for calling in sick too often and taking too many unpaid vacation days. She plays the single parent card (even though her ex has the kid 50% of those call in times) and still works there. Because she works so little and has a child she gets a lot back on taxes but thats spent before the check even arrives. Three years ago she replaced her Lincoln SUV with a 70,000 Buick SUV with all kinds of bells and whistles. Last year she refurnished her basement with a huge sectional with powered recliners, LED lighting and a pull out memory foam mattress. Can't forget the new 55" TV to go along with the other 55" TV upstairs (Well I want to be able to watch something if daughter is watching a movie). This year she is using the money to take her daughter on a one week trip to Disney and just has to stay at the really nice Disney resort close to the parks and eat at all the Disney themed restaurants. She's taken yearly trips to Vegas every year since the divorce and has to see 1-3 regularly price Vegas shows using "I have a tough life and deserve this" excuse

Particularity galling is that she complains constantly during the year about not having any money. To the extent that she might have to call off of work because she can't afford gas to get there (In an SUV....) or she is at subsistence level grocery shopping for her daughter. She uses these to ask for handouts all the time. "I guess my daughter won't have a birthday cake this year because they are too expensive." "I really wish we could use the community pool but I can't afford a swimsuit for her". How about you don't spend it on vacations, TVs and SUVs?! No one can show her how she might be able to save money because "You don't know how hard it is to be a single parent."

Ok - first - the father has 45% custody, never misses his days and always pays child support on time. That doesn't even remotely fit in line with what what a lot of single parents have to deal with. But spend 30 seconds talking to her and you'd think he ran off to some distant country and never contributes to raising his daughter.

Second - and IMO the worst part - she tells her mother that her mother has no idea how hard it is. The very same mother that raised 5 kids on her own after her divorce when the oldest was 7 and the youngest was 1. Their dad had no interest in custody or paying the child support that he was legally required to pay. In 15 years of knowing my MIL I have never seen her take a vacation and she has always driven beater cars. But yes, your mother who worked 50-60 hours a week, taking any extra shift she could to put food on the table and a roof over your head has no idea how hard it is to have basically joint custody of a single child, work part time, be able to call off work all the time, drive around in luxury SUVs and take frequent vacations.

And, of no surprise to my wife or myself, that high mileage SUV is having expensive problems again so she might 'have to' use her tax return next year to get another SUV.

Meanwhile I am still driving that same Civic 11 years later and am still married to the same, wonderful woman

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1233 on: April 29, 2016, 09:41:37 AM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Either there's something very wrong with his pituitary gland or he's got baby dragons. Bless his heart, he's in for a rough time.


MHYSA!
(Sorry not sorry.)

Ironically it would be difficult for the Mother of Dragons to reach FIRE... groceries and mortgage payments would be, like the dragons, through the roof. Not to mention property taxes, insurance, blood money for the dead neighbourhood kids...

Actually, she has plenty of FIRE. See the part about the "dragons".

And the dragons could provide a lot of income. Hiring them out to crazed, ambitious lords to help them rule the realm could be a good retirement gig. Or she could just get over her silly delaying and get to Westeros already, conquer it, and then the tax revenues would be like a pension for her.

Spoilers alert, the tax revenues in Westeros are in shambles. They are in the midst of a sovereign debt crisis!

https://www.1843magazine.com/culture/the-daily/game-of-loans?fsrc=scn/tw/te/bl/ed/gameofloans1843

Dany's peace would bring prosperity. They need the warring to cease so that business can flourish again. All that burning of farm land and killing off everyone is not good for the economy.

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1234 on: April 29, 2016, 09:43:40 AM »
A relative is under contract on huge a $1 million luxury house. He's already talking about when they "grow out of it" and need to upgrade.

Either there's something very wrong with his pituitary gland or he's got baby dragons. Bless his heart, he's in for a rough time.


MHYSA!
(Sorry not sorry.)

Ironically it would be difficult for the Mother of Dragons to reach FIRE... groceries and mortgage payments would be, like the dragons, through the roof. Not to mention property taxes, insurance, blood money for the dead neighbourhood kids...

Actually, she has plenty of FIRE. See the part about the "dragons".

And the dragons could provide a lot of income. Hiring them out to crazed, ambitious lords to help them rule the realm could be a good retirement gig. Or she could just get over her silly delaying and get to Westeros already, conquer it, and then the tax revenues would be like a pension for her.

Spoilers alert, the tax revenues in Westeros are in shambles. They are in the midst of a sovereign debt crisis!

https://www.1843magazine.com/culture/the-daily/game-of-loans?fsrc=scn/tw/te/bl/ed/gameofloans1843

Dany's peace would bring prosperity. They need the warring to cease so that business can flourish again. All that burning of farm land and killing off everyone is not good for the economy.

That is the dream of a lot of people, but I don't believe happy endings are possible in A Song of Ice and Fire.

Edit: Unless your the Hound (fan rumor).
« Last Edit: April 29, 2016, 11:00:12 AM by MgoSam »

slugline

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1235 on: April 29, 2016, 10:36:04 AM »
Three years ago she replaced her Lincoln SUV with a 70,000 Buick SUV with all kinds of bells and whistles.

In the midst of a fine story of financial dysfunction. I couldn't tell whether 70,000 was the vehicle mileage or the price in dollars. I'm prepared to believe either.

Warlord1986

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1236 on: April 29, 2016, 10:42:15 AM »

Second - and IMO the worst part - she tells her mother that her mother has no idea how hard it is. The very same mother that raised 5 kids on her own after her divorce when the oldest was 7 and the youngest was 1. Their dad had no interest in custody or paying the child support that he was legally required to pay. In 15 years of knowing my MIL I have never seen her take a vacation and she has always driven beater cars. But yes, your mother who worked 50-60 hours a week, taking any extra shift she could to put food on the table and a roof over your head has no idea how hard it is to have basically joint custody of a single child, work part time, be able to call off work all the time, drive around in luxury SUVs and take frequent vacations.


I want to slap this over-grown woman-child on your behalf. The sheer arrogance it would take to say something like this is mind-boggling. Are the rest of your wife's siblings like this?

exterous

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1237 on: April 29, 2016, 01:21:53 PM »
In the midst of a fine story of financial dysfunction. I couldn't tell whether 70,000 was the vehicle mileage or the price in dollars. I'm prepared to believe either.

Opps - 70,000 miles. I don't remember the purchase price but I do remember it was absolutely absurd for a car with such high miles that would be used for nothing special and for someone already complaining about money problems


Second - and IMO the worst part - she tells her mother that her mother has no idea how hard it is. The very same mother that raised 5 kids on her own after her divorce when the oldest was 7 and the youngest was 1. Their dad had no interest in custody or paying the child support that he was legally required to pay. In 15 years of knowing my MIL I have never seen her take a vacation and she has always driven beater cars. But yes, your mother who worked 50-60 hours a week, taking any extra shift she could to put food on the table and a roof over your head has no idea how hard it is to have basically joint custody of a single child, work part time, be able to call off work all the time, drive around in luxury SUVs and take frequent vacations.


I want to slap this over-grown woman-child on your behalf. The sheer arrogance it would take to say something like this is mind-boggling. Are the rest of your wife's siblings like this?

They range across a spectrum with my wife and SIL at opposite ends. SIL is the oldest and wife is 11 months younger than her. Brother hasn't done much with life.  Works as a cashier at a hardware store with no real motivation but doesn't complain or ask for money. Sister 3 is a nurse who recently got a good job. Sister 4 was a late starter but is off in Seattle now working for a tech company. She ping pongs in life\jobs\finance so not sure what the next bounce will be
« Last Edit: April 29, 2016, 01:26:30 PM by exterous »

exterous

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1238 on: April 29, 2016, 01:23:00 PM »
dp
« Last Edit: April 29, 2016, 01:25:33 PM by exterous »

RagingRanter

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1239 on: April 29, 2016, 07:46:48 PM »
Any Canadians on this board will know how substandard Timmy's coffee is.

Well, as an American, I would have to say that your country's disgust with the unpalatable Horny Tim's swill is certainly expressed in an oddly Canadian manner. That being, your fellow countrymen are totally addicted to the stuff.

There are two camps up here: Those who can't get enough of the stuff, and the rest of us, who have taste  buds.

Timmy's has marketed itself as Canadiana, and has been very successful at that. Their brand has always been to wrap themselves in the Canadian flag, and the 50% of Canadians on the left side of the bell curve distribution of IQ have bought into it. If you want to see how pathetic some people are with their Timmys habit up here, read this:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/christmas-day-tim-hortons-truro-1.3381155

I've witnessed similar behaviour first hand, though not on Christmas Day. I used to live a few blocks away from a Timmys on Richmond Rd. in Ottawa, and police literally had to stake out the Timmys driveway during morning rush hour to make sure traffic kept moving. What would happen was the drive-thru would get backed up, but instead of just driving past and, oh, I don't know, MAYBE GETTING THEIR EFFING COFFEE SOMEWHERE ELSE... people would sit on Richmond Rd. with their signal light on holding up traffic, waiting for the line to advance so they could turn in. The police literally had to ticket some people who -rather than move on when ordered - would sit there and argue that they had the right to wait for an opportunity to pull in. I am steadfastly opposed to police brutality, but there are times when I understand...

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1240 on: April 29, 2016, 10:30:32 PM »
I'm sorry, but this is just hilarious. I"ll admit I"ll pick up fast food for breakfast or other meals on occassion (I started recording when I eat out to help reduce this), but if the drive-thru looks somewhat busy, I'll just park and go inside. In general I should go outside, it may be weird but I think it's good to look the person who's giving you your food in the eye before the food is ordered.

exterous

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1241 on: May 01, 2016, 04:22:56 PM »
So a quick weekend update on the SIL. Apparently on Saturday she went out and bought a $950 puppy for her daughter. Can't buy a birthday cake, swimsuit or gas but has $950 + food, toys etc for a dog. The contradictory assertions and actions are so extreme that my brain couldn't form coherent sentences when I found out

JAYSLOL

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1242 on: May 01, 2016, 05:23:12 PM »
So a quick weekend update on the SIL. Apparently on Saturday she went out and bought a $950 puppy for her daughter. Can't buy a birthday cake, swimsuit or gas but has $950 + food, toys etc for a dog. The contradictory assertions and actions are so extreme that my brain couldn't form coherent sentences when I found out

That's insane, i could "afford" to buy a $950 puppy + extras without having to give up a birthday cake or gas, but my retirement account doesn't fund itself so i'm happy to go pet free for now.  I also don't understand how people rationalize things like this and still complain about life. 

druth

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1243 on: May 01, 2016, 06:08:17 PM »
Not the first or last time I will complain about my inlaws but...

Just got a letter in the mail.  In big letters on the top it says "You're Invited!"
and then underneath it explains that while they can't afford to do a fundraiser, we are "invited" to help them pay off their debts due to an "unfair and false" DOL finding against them and their businesses.  If just 15 families donate the suggested 1k donation(very presumptuous if you ask me), then they will be in the clear.

Why don't they have 15k of their own when they are in their 50s?
1. Putting a bunch of money into a "good christian" MLM scheme that will be "paying them 70k by next year". (next year has been just around the corner for about 2 years now)
2. getting a for profit degree so that one of them can do more parts of the job that they are planning to retire from 2 years after finishing the degree.
3. Leasing a car, returning the car, buying another luxury car instead, all while their cars worked fine.

As an aside does accusing somebody of giving false testimony and saying that the court is wrong open them up to slander liability?  Maybe, not my problem though.
Maybe I'll give them 5$, that's what they gave me for my graduation.

I suppose this is what people did before goFundMe?

Had the following conversation with the in laws today:

Mr Druth: Something something about his new job at a start-up
MIL: Oh, that reminds me of this great investment opportunity you should look into.  it's XYZ startup.
Mr Druth: Ooookay....  Where did you hear about this Mom?
MIL: One of our friends we met at a [good christian scam described above] convention!  It's a great product, and they are giving stock at $1 each, but it's valued at $1.50 when they start selling it publicly!
Mr Druth: *literally hangs head in hands and sighs*
Me:  According to who?  Did you value that yourself, or did the owner tell you that?
MIL: Well our friend knows a lot about investing, and it's a great product, it's the most effective treatment for [common mental disorder].
Me:  According to who?  Peer reviewed studies, or did the owner tell you that?
MIL: [changes subject]
Me(exact words):  None of us can afford to invest without diversification.  Never do this sort of stuff with money you can't afford to lose.  None of us should be in anything riskier than index funds.
MIL: Oh isn't the baby cute? [more subject changes]
---------------

I'm sure she already invested, and it's probably just lost money now.  They just refuse to learn.  It's always the next get rich quick scheme, when they would probably be relatively rich already if they just applied themselves and stopped throwing money away. 

I did later re-iterate to Mr Druth that we are never ever giving them money for any reason though.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2016, 09:10:23 PM by druth »

AlanStache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1244 on: May 02, 2016, 07:01:15 AM »
So a quick weekend update on the SIL. Apparently on Saturday she went out and bought a $950 puppy for her daughter. Can't buy a birthday cake, swimsuit or gas but has $950 + food, toys etc for a dog. The contradictory assertions and actions are so extreme that my brain couldn't form coherent sentences when I found out

Expensive dogs can be bought on credit from the pet store, gf's vet office sees lots of people who basically 'rent to own' expensive dogs (500$-1000$).  They are sold as "having papers" and being "up to date on shots"; these are not AKC papers, and being up to date at X weeks old still means they need Y hundred dollars more shots by year 1.  Lots of these people cant afford 100$ for shots after 'buying' the dog.  Is sad all the way around. 
Be the person Mr. Rogers knows you can be.

RecoveringCarClown

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1245 on: May 02, 2016, 12:34:12 PM »
So a quick weekend update on the SIL. Apparently on Saturday she went out and bought a $950 puppy for her daughter. Can't buy a birthday cake, swimsuit or gas but has $950 + food, toys etc for a dog. The contradictory assertions and actions are so extreme that my brain couldn't form coherent sentences when I found out

Wow, this gives me hurty brain too.

frugalecon

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1246 on: May 02, 2016, 12:38:25 PM »
Not the first or last time I will complain about my inlaws but...

Just got a letter in the mail.  In big letters on the top it says "You're Invited!"
and then underneath it explains that while they can't afford to do a fundraiser, we are "invited" to help them pay off their debts due to an "unfair and false" DOL finding against them and their businesses.  If just 15 families donate the suggested 1k donation(very presumptuous if you ask me), then they will be in the clear.

Why don't they have 15k of their own when they are in their 50s?
1. Putting a bunch of money into a "good christian" MLM scheme that will be "paying them 70k by next year". (next year has been just around the corner for about 2 years now)
2. getting a for profit degree so that one of them can do more parts of the job that they are planning to retire from 2 years after finishing the degree.
3. Leasing a car, returning the car, buying another luxury car instead, all while their cars worked fine.

As an aside does accusing somebody of giving false testimony and saying that the court is wrong open them up to slander liability?  Maybe, not my problem though.
Maybe I'll give them 5$, that's what they gave me for my graduation.

I suppose this is what people did before goFundMe?

Had the following conversation with the in laws today:

Mr Druth: Something something about his new job at a start-up
MIL: Oh, that reminds me of this great investment opportunity you should look into.  it's XYZ startup.
Mr Druth: Ooookay....  Where did you hear about this Mom?
MIL: One of our friends we met at a [good christian scam described above] convention!  It's a great product, and they are giving stock at $1 each, but it's valued at $1.50 when they start selling it publicly!
Mr Druth: *literally hangs head in hands and sighs*
Me:  According to who?  Did you value that yourself, or did the owner tell you that?
MIL: Well our friend knows a lot about investing, and it's a great product, it's the most effective treatment for [common mental disorder].
Me:  According to who?  Peer reviewed studies, or did the owner tell you that?
MIL: [changes subject]
Me(exact words):  None of us can afford to invest without diversification.  Never do this sort of stuff with money you can't afford to lose.  None of us should be in anything riskier than index funds.
MIL: Oh isn't the baby cute? [more subject changes]
---------------

I'm sure she already invested, and it's probably just lost money now.  They just refuse to learn.  It's always the next get rich quick scheme, when they would probably be relatively rich already if they just applied themselves and stopped throwing money away. 

I did later re-iterate to Mr Druth that we are never ever giving them money for any reason though.

My poor Dad invested in similar scams, usually gold miners listed on the Toronto Stock Exchange. He had great visions that the mines were about ready to hit big, and he would be able to buy everyone vacation homes. Of course, they all ended up going bust. I always wondered what actual assets the companies owned.

accountingteacher

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1247 on: May 02, 2016, 02:17:35 PM »
My BIL makes fun of me for taking books out of the school library where I work instead of buying them at Indigo.
This is so therapeutic!

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1248 on: May 02, 2016, 02:25:05 PM »
My BIL makes fun of me for taking books out of the school library where I work instead of buying them at Indigo.

Wow, if someone made that comment to me I would ask them, "Sure, can I borrow your credit card?"

accountingteacher

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1249 on: May 02, 2016, 02:44:10 PM »
I frequently do not know what to say to him, or any of my ILs for that matter.  I'm thinking of trying a new passive aggressive approach like saying, "Sorry, we're not rich like you; we still have 5 years left on our mortgage" - knowing full well he has about 20!
This is so therapeutic!