Author Topic: Relatives who just don't get it  (Read 640402 times)

nessness

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1100 on: March 15, 2016, 10:38:34 AM »
MIL asked DH for a $5k "loan" (I put loan in quotes because she has never once paid back money she "borrowed") to pay off some debt. He said no. The following week, she called to ask if we minded if she sold the car we gave her a year and a half ago. No, not to pay off the debt - she wanted to trade in the safe, reliable, fuel-efficient car toward the purchase of a truck. Because apparently the car (a Hyundai Elantra) is too small, or too low to the ground, or something. Ugh.

Nederstash

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1101 on: March 15, 2016, 01:33:44 PM »
@With This Herring and @nessness

these stories made me cringe so hard.

Dezrah

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1102 on: March 15, 2016, 06:43:36 PM »
I’m currently in the stage where I still like to check Mint every day.  One day I log in to see about a $1300 balance on a credit card with a small town bank.  My husband used to have a checking account with this bank until we moved out of the area and got better interest rates with online banking.  I had even gone through the process of “closing” this account on Mint so it would stop trying to pull information.  To this day I have no idea how or why Mint was able to pull up this information though I’m glad it did.

I immediately contacted my husband about it and he started investigating.  Turns out it was a card in his name being used by his parents.

Let me explain:

My in-laws have never been very good with money.  Back when my husband was a teen, the family had pretty bad credit from a combination of overspending and medical bills, so they opened a credit card in his name to be used for his teenagers purchases as well as the family’s emergency fund.  It was always paid on time (though not in full) whenever it was used.  I only found out about the account after we got married and we began simplifying our finances.  I told him I wasn’t comfortable having his family on the card and he set out to close it.

His family apparently really wanted to keep the card so they (my husband, the bank, and his parents) supposedly worked out a plan where my husband would be dropped from the card and the parents could keep using it.  Fast forward seven years and it looks like the bank never properly filed all the correct paperwork to fully transfer the card.  So all this time, my in-laws have continued using the card while ultimately my husband was responsible for it.  I still don’t understand why the card never appeared on any credit history reports we filed in the time meantime.

To their credit, my in-laws truly believed (and I believe them) that the card was solely in their name.  They never missed a payment, but it still scares the crud out of me that we could have been on the line for quite a bit if things went really bad.  Once this was pieced together, my husband told the bank to fully shut down the card though the balance would still legally be in his name until someone pays it down.

Here’s the “they don’t get it” part:  they just don’t think it’s a big deal to just pay it down slowly over time.  With interest rates in the 20% range, they claim they have plenty of money but think it’s better to just throw a little bit at a time. 

Around Christmas time (which is probably the instigator of the debt) I let myself get a little too inebriated and laid into them a bit heavy.  $1300 is not that much money.  Are they really so cash poor that they can’t pay that off that amount in one fell swoop?  This is very poor money management skills.  Are we going to have to take care of them in their old age?  All I got was non-answers.

The rest of Christmas his dad kept moaning on about how sorry he was that there were so few Christmas presents this year (there was way too much).  He kept recalling his favorite Christmas ever which was when my husband was a toddler (with an infant sister) and came downstairs all wide-eyed and saying “are those for me?”  “It was the look of love and true appreciation that made it such a wonderfully happy day.”  It was the saddest thing you’ve ever heard.

There’s so much more I could go into about his family but that will have to be for another time.

mountains_o_mustaches

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1103 on: March 15, 2016, 09:21:33 PM »
My family is notoriously bad with money to the point that most of it just doesn't phase me.  However, this week my cousin actually caught my attention.  My cousin - who is in severe credit card debt due to her shopping habit (clothes, shoes, jewelry, costumes for her pets, etc.) and low-paying part time job - just bought a brand new SUV off the lot.  It gets even better - she has never learned to drive and doesn't have a license.  She wanted to buy a car she was "comfortable" in before she would start learning to drive.  This was just so many levels of ridiculous my head nearly exploded.  And I was the only one in my family that thought this was a problem.  Everyone else was congratulating her on the car purchase. SMH
« Last Edit: March 15, 2016, 09:37:43 PM by mountains_o_mustaches »

SpeedReader

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1104 on: March 15, 2016, 09:27:08 PM »
she has never learned to drive and doesn't have a license.  She wanted to buy a car she was "comfortable" in before she would start learning to drive.

OK, that has to be the dumbest thing ever...

LeRainDrop

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1105 on: March 15, 2016, 09:35:13 PM »
she has never learned to drive and doesn't have a license.  She wanted to buy a car she was "comfortable" in before she would start learning to drive.

OK, that has to be the dumbest thing ever...

WTF!

KateH

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1106 on: March 16, 2016, 03:58:43 AM »
she has never learned to drive and doesn't have a license.  She wanted to buy a car she was "comfortable" in before she would start learning to drive.

Maybe she's related to my SIL who, deeply in debt, bought a brand-new Volkswagen bug for her daughter on her 16th birthday even though the kid didn't have a learner's permit. She asked all the family members to make a car payment as a gift!

OK, that has to be the dumbest thing ever...

dividend

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1107 on: March 17, 2016, 02:08:37 PM »
3 years ago, my father in law was in a car accident that totaled his car.  He was able to use the insurance settlement plus trading in their second car to purchase a new luxury sedan, taking him and his wife down to a 1 car family.

2 years ago, he walked into a car dealership because he "thinks negotiating is fun", and walked out with the 1 model year newer version of his existing car.  I mean, it only cost him a few thousand plus trade-in, so what a deal, right?  He called my husband and I to see if we wanted to come check out his good deal, and we met for lunch an Irish pub type place halfway between.  He showed off the car, I bit my tongue and didn't ask questions like "What was wrong with your old car?", and we sat down for lunch.  He complained it was kind of expensive and that he liked to keep lunch for him and his wife under $20 normally.  At the end of the meal, asked my husband to cover it and gave him a $20 bill.  Which didn't even cover their meal before tax. 

Today I got a text from my husband : "You won't believe what my dad just did!"
I replied, "Bought another new car?"
Yup. 
I was incredulous.  "What was wrong with his old car?"
"Nothing!  He just figured he could get a high trade in value and have a new car for a few thousand."
His dad's reply to my husbands incredulity?  "I had to optimize the value of the car as a trade-in."




coolistdude

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1108 on: March 22, 2016, 12:26:05 PM »
Update on SIL. DW notified me that SIL is indeed looking to purchase a house for her and her tiny dog (SIL's DH is home maybe 2 days a month). They are looking at $400k houses, and he has the kind of job where he could have to travel even further from his wife at any moment. Let me give some perspective, you can get a very decent house where I live for $250k (3 bedroom, two bath, taken care of yard, etc...). A 30 year on 400k with 4.5% interest and a 10% down is $2,240.73/month or $600+ more than what they pay to rent a 3 bedroom right now. It gets better, this is in addition to the trailer parking he uses where he works (probably $400-$500/month). The house would essentially be for SIL. For $400k, it better be a 4 bedroom with a big yard, but that means she is going to have to take care of it all! Or hire a maid and gardener. My BIL makes six figures and has so far resisted the thought of saving for retirement. I am just starting to save for retirement (just cleared out the debt and only have about $10k saved up), but if DW and I retire before them, I am going to be very clear on why. They are still cool people though :)
The good: 27 years old, 1 car, not renting anymore.
The bad: Single income, only about $17k in retirement, and no FI date.
The ugly: 1 year ago I was doing much better but lost all possessions due to mold. It has been an emotional roller coaster.

Blog: http://bravelycontent.blogspot.com/

coolistdude

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1109 on: March 22, 2016, 12:28:25 PM »
3 years ago, my father in law was in a car accident that totaled his car.  He was able to use the insurance settlement plus trading in their second car to purchase a new luxury sedan, taking him and his wife down to a 1 car family.

2 years ago, he walked into a car dealership because he "thinks negotiating is fun", and walked out with the 1 model year newer version of his existing car.  I mean, it only cost him a few thousand plus trade-in, so what a deal, right?  He called my husband and I to see if we wanted to come check out his good deal, and we met for lunch an Irish pub type place halfway between.  He showed off the car, I bit my tongue and didn't ask questions like "What was wrong with your old car?", and we sat down for lunch.  He complained it was kind of expensive and that he liked to keep lunch for him and his wife under $20 normally.  At the end of the meal, asked my husband to cover it and gave him a $20 bill.  Which didn't even cover their meal before tax. 

Today I got a text from my husband : "You won't believe what my dad just did!"
I replied, "Bought another new car?"
Yup. 
I was incredulous.  "What was wrong with his old car?"
"Nothing!  He just figured he could get a high trade in value and have a new car for a few thousand."
His dad's reply to my husbands incredulity?  "I had to optimize the value of the car as a trade-in."

This blows my mind. You lose a few thousand, eat the depreciation again, but ask your son to pay for part of your lunch. Sounds like he wants to be involved with you guys, but has bad financial priorities.
The good: 27 years old, 1 car, not renting anymore.
The bad: Single income, only about $17k in retirement, and no FI date.
The ugly: 1 year ago I was doing much better but lost all possessions due to mold. It has been an emotional roller coaster.

Blog: http://bravelycontent.blogspot.com/

Making Cookies

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1110 on: March 25, 2016, 07:51:19 AM »
Just heard from a retired couple I know that did the trade up thing on modest retirement income. Gained a payment I think. Have far more seating than they need b/c they seldom haul anyone but themselves. A Civic/Corolla might have been a better choice.

I keep expecting frugality to kick in for them b/c I worry about them spending a bunch of money now when they'll need it in the future when they are unable to do for themselves.

I watched a relative of mine reach the end of their life pretty much a year from being broke. We were already formulating a plan to downgrade their retirement arrangements by moving them into a less expensive nursing home where you get a room instead of an apartment.

The "old" vehicle was not a decade old and had not crossed the 100K miles point. Nothing wrong with it.

Different priorities...

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1111 on: March 25, 2016, 11:46:46 AM »
A relative got a big gift card for an expensive restaurant. He goes to use it but then decides that he actually wants to go sit on their rooftop terrace because he'd enjoy that more. But the "problem" is that the terrace is a lot cheaper. So he doesn't even use the gift card to pay for it because there would still be a lot left on the card. And he'll come back and go to the more expensive dining room later. So now it's been about 2 years and he still hasn't used the card.

WHA???

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1112 on: March 25, 2016, 11:49:48 AM »
A relative has a lot of student loan debt. I told him about how they could get that forgiven (eventually) since they work as teachers and have a low income and a lot of kids, and would probably have no or very low payments in the interim. And I sent him all the necessary forms and information.

Now it's a year or two later and he didn't even remember that I'd sent him the stuff and they haven't been tracking their years of working in qualifying employment, etc.

Dicey

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1113 on: March 25, 2016, 01:34:22 PM »
A relative got a big gift card for an expensive restaurant. He goes to use it but then decides that he actually wants to go sit on their rooftop terrace because he'd enjoy that more. But the "problem" is that the terrace is a lot cheaper. So he doesn't even use the gift card to pay for it because there would still be a lot left on the card. And he'll come back and go to the more expensive dining room later. So now it's been about 2 years and he still hasn't used the card.

WHA???
And in two years, his purchasing power has probably eroded by 20%, as food costs have soared. This is one of the reasons I don't love gift cards, which in some circles is frugal blasphemy. I don't buy shit and I cook at home. Even a grocery chain GC would be too rich for me, as that's not how I shop.

On a happy note, I found two One Pound Gift Certificates from See's Candy when my mom passed away. She was a diabetic who never redeemed them, and they're at least ten years old. Let me see...Yup, they're still worth a pound of yummy See's Candy each. BTW, See's is a US West Coast thing, so sorry if you don't have one near you. They do ship, but only when the weather is mild.
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clarkevii

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1114 on: March 25, 2016, 02:01:18 PM »
A relative has a lot of student loan debt. I told him about how they could get that forgiven (eventually) since they work as teachers and have a low income and a lot of kids, and would probably have no or very low payments in the interim. And I sent him all the necessary forms and information.

Now it's a year or two later and he didn't even remember that I'd sent him the stuff and they haven't been tracking their years of working in qualifying employment, etc.

Major fail here. I had 5K forgiven just for teaching 5 years.

Free money and it paid off the rest of my debt.

Cassie

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1115 on: March 25, 2016, 02:05:33 PM »
I love to get gift certificates to a new restaurant that we have not tried. My kids usually do this for gifts and then we get to try new place which is fun. 

Rural

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1116 on: March 25, 2016, 06:17:56 PM »
A relative has a lot of student loan debt. I told him about how they could get that forgiven (eventually) since they work as teachers and have a low income and a lot of kids, and would probably have no or very low payments in the interim. And I sent him all the necessary forms and information.

Now it's a year or two later and he didn't even remember that I'd sent him the stuff and they haven't been tracking their years of working in qualifying employment, etc.


They don't have to track it, just get in the program and then get their employer to certify it.

mtn

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1117 on: March 28, 2016, 08:07:49 AM »
Talking to my cousin. I go back and forth on weather he is mustachian or not; in general I think he is probably fiscally responsible with some expensive hobbies that are well within his entertainment budget (single, very good paying job). But this weekend he said that someone our age (I'm 26, he's 36) needs $10 Mil to retire.

I think he's mostly just not trusting the stock market to support the 4% rule.

dogboyslim

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1118 on: March 28, 2016, 08:26:25 AM »
I talked to my mom last night.  They have two homes, a condo and their primary home on the coast.  They owned the condo when they worked in the city but now they are retired and are living at the home on the coast.  They kept the condo for many years as a hurricane escape.  Now they are selling it.  The condo is worth ~200k.  I was shocked to learn they still had a mortgage on it with about 100k balance.  My mom said the bank suggested she refinance to get a lower rate (4% instead of the 5% she has now).  My mom was actually thinking about it.  She was also considering paying points to drop the rate even lower.  SHE HAS THE CONDO ON THE MARKET!!!!!  Why on earth do you pay the fees to refinance, pay points in order to save $80 a month in interest payments when you are trying to sell the home and don't expect to carry it any longer than a few months based on current market trends?

I talked her through the cost, and if she sells the condo in 6 months, it costs her $2,500 after considering the "savings" from the drop in interest rate after adding up the origination fee, the points, the appraisal fees and everything else.  UG...how can a woman that is otherwise very intelligent fall for this kind of scam?  She's not going to do it now at least.

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1119 on: March 28, 2016, 08:37:09 AM »
A relative has a lot of student loan debt. I told him about how they could get that forgiven (eventually) since they work as teachers and have a low income and a lot of kids, and would probably have no or very low payments in the interim. And I sent him all the necessary forms and information.

Now it's a year or two later and he didn't even remember that I'd sent him the stuff and they haven't been tracking their years of working in qualifying employment, etc.

Major fail here. I had 5K forgiven just for teaching 5 years.

Free money and it paid off the rest of my debt.

Yup, my friend is excited because there is a special program here for local teachers. I don't recall the details, but she said she's making sure that each form is filled in and no details are missed.

Nederstash

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1120 on: April 09, 2016, 03:15:25 PM »
Recently found out a family member has well over 100k... in a savings account.

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1121 on: April 09, 2016, 03:29:49 PM »
A relative has a wife who's a bit of a spoiled princess (grew up rich). She is demanding that they buy a $1 million house (that's the cheapest she'll go). And she quit her lucrative job because she didn't like it and is not going to look for another one. And this is all happening at a time when he is having to take a lower paying job because he's about to be fired.

firelight

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1122 on: April 09, 2016, 08:10:11 PM »
Recently found out a family member has well over 100k... in a savings account.
We have close to 100k in savings for our house fund. Can it be something like that?

Nederstash

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1123 on: April 10, 2016, 02:23:58 AM »
No, he wants to keep renting. I mentioned investing but he'd never really looked into that.

Nederstash

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1124 on: April 10, 2016, 02:25:27 AM »
A relative has a wife who's a bit of a spoiled princess (grew up rich). She is demanding that they buy a $1 million house (that's the cheapest she'll go). And she quit her lucrative job because she didn't like it and is not going to look for another one. And this is all happening at a time when he is having to take a lower paying job because he's about to be fired.

Seems like basic math was not in her upbringing... nor human decency. I despise people like this...

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1125 on: April 10, 2016, 02:44:08 PM »
No, he wants to keep renting. I mentioned investing but he'd never really looked into that.

I asked my college roommate about that. He has a ton sitting in his savings account and isn't planning on buying anytime soon, but doesn't feel comfortable about investing it. I didn't harp on about it because it was clear he didn't want to discuss it, but he's getting married in about 6 months. It's likely a good thing that he comes from an affluent family, but I hope he does do a learns how better to manage his money.

Fishindude

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1126 on: April 11, 2016, 07:40:13 AM »
I see nothing wrong with leaving a large amount of cash sitting in a savings account. 
Good for him that he has been able to save and preserve it.

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1127 on: April 11, 2016, 08:51:05 AM »
I see nothing wrong with leaving a large amount of cash sitting in a savings account. 
Good for him that he has been able to save and preserve it.

I have many relatives that see something wrong with it. They would quickly right that wrong and go buy some crap.

onehair

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1128 on: April 11, 2016, 09:17:11 AM »
My mother has decided to stop paying the gas electric and water at my late grandmother's house where my uncle and aunt are presently squatting.  She wants to see if they're going to actually pay them or let them be shut off.  I am betting they will ring her house off the hook begging her to do it.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1129 on: April 11, 2016, 01:10:41 PM »
I see nothing wrong with leaving a large amount of cash sitting in a savings account. 
Good for him that he has been able to save and preserve it.

I have many relatives that see something wrong with it. They would quickly right that wrong and go buy some crap.

My daughter's relatives are much the same way. She learned early on that the fact she had a bank account, a debit card, and some money stashed away was "private" information. Fifteen years of being raised to be a spendypants have taken their toll, I fear. We actually had a discussion about why she's not allowed to dip into her college savings to buy a belly button ring.
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Sibley

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1130 on: April 11, 2016, 01:32:53 PM »
My mother has decided to stop paying the gas electric and water at my late grandmother's house where my uncle and aunt are presently squatting.  She wants to see if they're going to actually pay them or let them be shut off.  I am betting they will ring her house off the hook begging her to do it.

Just make sure her name isn't on the accounts - don't want it hitting her credit.

paddedhat

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1131 on: April 12, 2016, 11:53:48 AM »
Recently found out a family member has well over 100k... in a savings account.

FIL owned a very successful manufacturing company, and did real well selling it to retire.  We discover that, later in life, he was keeping roughly $300K in saving accounts. We also found out that he would drop by the local Buick dealer, every few years to buy one of their latest luxury barges. They were one of those outfits that had been at the same location since the 1920s and had a reputation with older locals as a trustworthy place to do business. He would end up leaving with a new car at MSRP after deducting his trade in, which was priced at well below wholesale. The last time he did it, I did a bit of research and found out that they managed to fuck him out of roughly $15K. It was hard to believe that a guy who was sharp enough to run a profitable manufacturer not only didn't believe in investing, as it was just risky voodoo in his mind, but he was incapable of buying a vehicle without getting robbed.

slugline

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1132 on: April 12, 2016, 12:47:05 PM »
FIL owned a very successful manufacturing company, and did real well selling it to retire.  We discover that, later in life, he was keeping roughly $300K in saving accounts. We also found out that he would drop by the local Buick dealer, every few years to buy one of their latest luxury barges. They were one of those outfits that had been at the same location since the 1920s and had a reputation with older locals as a trustworthy place to do business. He would end up leaving with a new car at MSRP after deducting his trade in, which was priced at well below wholesale. The last time he did it, I did a bit of research and found out that they managed to fuck him out of roughly $15K. It was hard to believe that a guy who was sharp enough to run a profitable manufacturer not only didn't believe in investing, as it was just risky voodoo in his mind, but he was incapable of buying a vehicle without getting robbed.

Was this in a small city/town? The car transactions sound bad, but is it possible he may have had a personal friend at the dealership? This might have been a personal favor for someone whom he wanted to benefit financially without blatantly handing out cash. It's not unheard of for a group of local businessmen to foster relationships this way.

Daleth

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1133 on: April 12, 2016, 02:27:41 PM »
I see nothing wrong with leaving a large amount of cash sitting in a savings account. 
Good for him that he has been able to save and preserve it.

It's just unwise because you're getting near-zero interest. If you don't need immediate access to $100k, it should at the very least be in CDs.

paddedhat

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1134 on: April 12, 2016, 07:34:41 PM »

Was this in a small city/town? The car transactions sound bad, but is it possible he may have had a personal friend at the dealership? This might have been a personal favor for someone whom he wanted to benefit financially without blatantly handing out cash. It's not unheard of for a group of local businessmen to foster relationships this way.
[/quote]

Far from small town, and nothing behind the scenes, just a case of trusting, and/or failing to do due diligence, that resulted in a spectacular screwing.

 I have run into this before, as it relates to the inner circle of local businesses. I spent my career as a small builder in an area that transitioned from a very rural, slow, nearly Amish like, very old blood community, to one that, over the span of two decades, exploded as an extremely overgrown, overpopulated, distant suburb of NYC. I was not a local, in an area where there was a massive advantage to being born in the local hospital, into a family that was there for at least a century. I knew a lot of the local power brokers and business owners. They considered themselves to be the elite, and would work hard to do business with each other. The funny part was that many of them took great delight in screwing other good ole' boys and their families. I witnessed deals in areas as diverse as remodeling and new home construction to new car sales, where the buyer got really, and thoroughly screwed. This was all done with smug satisfaction on the part of all parties, and I half expected that they would someday admit to having a secret handshake as part of their little club. The funny part was on a few occasions I knew the victim well enough to tell then that they were an idiot who paid far more than the average "move-in, flatlander" would of. This was always met with disbelief, as in, "my daddy bought his first Chevy there before the war, there is no way that I could of gotten a better deal anywhere else"  OK stupid, you convince yourself of what you need to believe, to keep the game going, but I can't see wasting my hard earned money trying to be a member of the "club". OTOH, I knew several old school locals who were on to the game and told me of having spent 40-50 years having everything, from the lumber to build their homes, to every appliance and new car, shipped in from forty miles away, since THEIR daddy taught them how to not get screwed by the local good ole' boy network.

The network is long gone, there are Lowes, Home Depots and huge car dealerships all over the area, and the majority of the population came from somewhere else. Humans sure are interesting to watch, and it was a fascinating time to be a part of the local community.  I'm sure the FIL was involved in the same game and probably bought more then a few cars from the same place, back when he and the salesman were the same age, and played high school ball together. The problem is that he still trusted the place, even though the kid selling him the car was fifty years younger and had no soul.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2016, 07:37:05 PM by paddedhat »

The Fake Cheap

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1135 on: April 12, 2016, 07:53:07 PM »
Relative of mine who has never been well off financially has a few issues:

-Temporary employment..decent paying, but very temporary as in months
-This did not stop her from buying a new car (a Civic, but still...)
-This did not stop her from renting a pricey apartment

And finally, the one that really pushed her over the edge:
-Got got a cat, which has already racked up over $200 in "unexpected" vet bills in the 3 months she has had it and has also caused about another $200-$300 damage in her apartment, which she will loose out of her damage deposit when she moves out soon due to the temporary employment situation.





AmandaS1989

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1136 on: April 13, 2016, 02:31:47 PM »
My brain hurts after reading some of these. Now let me add to the pain.

I have an uncle who is bad with money and is a straight-up mooch with no decency. He lives not in his filthy, trash-filled trailer, but with a woman with two kids and doesn't pay anything except for a small amount towards food. He constantly complains he has no money while he runs up a cc to buy fast food.

His credit is in the toilet for 'forgetting' to pay his credit card bills. He didn't forget, he just didn't feel like paying them (he actually said this to my Dad once). He lived with my grandmother all his life rent-free and was in charge of her bank account when she became bed-ridden. Boy was that a mistake. He changed the statements to online only so his mother couldn't see that he was taking out more money than he was supposed to.

Grandma starts getting suspicious when she gets a cutoff notice from the water company in the mail. We had checked her mail that day and pointed it out to her. Uncle usually got the mail (you see where this is going?)

So come to find out, Uncle was taking out money and using it to buy his precious trading cards and other stupid shit instead of my grandmother's bills. When asked why he did this you know what his answer was? 'I take care of Mom I deserve that money'. My Mom almost ripped his head off right then and there. She was the one taking care of their Mother while he went out and partied with his friends. My Dad, not wanting his wife's mother to be left without water or heat, stepped in and paid up her utilities so they wouldn't get shut off.

Uncle got an actual ass-beating with a lead pipe by his mother's angry brother who came down from TN to personally beat some sense into him. Did it work? Nope. One year later we found out he had taken out 5 cc's in his mother's name and racked up $30K in debt. If there hadn't been life insurance on those cards to pay them off my mother would've taken him to court for fraud.

Some people are just so damn stupid (and greedy). I washed my hands of this asshole a long time ago.
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Paul der Krake

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1137 on: April 13, 2016, 02:52:18 PM »
^ World-class felonious deadbeat right there. Hall of fame material.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1138 on: April 13, 2016, 02:59:04 PM »
The only thing he's got going for him is the lack of a drug or alcohol habit.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1139 on: April 13, 2016, 03:00:55 PM »
The only thing he's got going for him is the lack of a drug or alcohol habit.
"Partying with friends" could mean either or both of those, in addition to neither.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1140 on: April 13, 2016, 03:03:40 PM »
I don't think so. He hates alcohol since their Dad was a mean drunk and he thinks people who do drugs are losers. Pretty rich coming from him eh?
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1141 on: April 13, 2016, 03:05:55 PM »
Yeah.  Sorry I missed that you were the OP there. 

Even in an addiction situation, the most frustrating thing are the folks around the chaos who don't have the "I'm an addict" excuse for all of the bad decisions being made and enabled. 
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1142 on: April 13, 2016, 03:06:12 PM »

Uncle got an actual ass-beating with a lead pipe by his mother's angry brother who came down from TN to personally beat some sense into him. Did it work? Nope. One year later we found out he had taken out 5 cc's in his mother's name and racked up $30K in debt. If there hadn't been life insurance on those cards to pay them off my mother would've taken him to court for fraud.


Is lead pipe a particularly appalachian thing?  It has also been wielded on deadbeats in my appalachian PA family. 

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1143 on: April 13, 2016, 03:11:18 PM »
It must be. My Mom's family on both sides is from a small town above Boone. How do you pronounce Appalachian? We say it as App-uh-latch-un. If you say it as App-uh-lay-shun in front of my Mom she will flip out. Its kinda funny actually.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1144 on: April 13, 2016, 03:17:54 PM »
Is lead pipe a particularly appalachian thing?  It has also been wielded on deadbeats in my appalachian PA family.
PEX pipes don't convey the message as efficiently...

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1145 on: April 13, 2016, 03:23:44 PM »
Yeah.  Sorry I missed that you were the OP there. 

Even in an addiction situation, the most frustrating thing are the folks around the chaos who don't have the "I'm an addict" excuse for all of the bad decisions being made and enabled.

There are families where the addict is one of the relatively sane ones, drama-wise.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1146 on: April 13, 2016, 03:33:56 PM »
It must be. My Mom's family on both sides is from a small town above Boone. How do you pronounce Appalachian? We say it as App-uh-latch-un. If you say it as App-uh-lay-shun in front of my Mom she will flip out. Its kinda funny actually.

Like you, except not when I'm in a coastal city.  I have family in a town called Apalachin on the NY/PA border, just to complicate things.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1147 on: April 13, 2016, 04:23:05 PM »
Is lead pipe a particularly appalachian thing?  It has also been wielded on deadbeats in my appalachian PA family.
PEX pipes don't convey the message as efficiently...

They break too easily. Much easier to get the message across if your weapon of choice doesn't crack after one hit.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1148 on: April 13, 2016, 07:05:18 PM »
Those PEX crimpers, on the other hand...
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1149 on: April 13, 2016, 07:16:48 PM »
Ah yes I had forgotten about those. Those work good too.
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