Author Topic: Relatives who just don't get it  (Read 831866 times)

Making Cookies

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1050 on: February 12, 2016, 08:59:05 AM »
So you buy your spices at Goodwill and cousins? ;)

jinga nation

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1051 on: February 12, 2016, 09:06:05 AM »
My big savings lately was on black peppercorns from an Indian store.
The Indian store here (Patel Brothers) has been raising their prices upwards to "match" with Sam's Club and Publix. Muh'fuggers!
If I genuinely enjoy my profession and workplace, is there a reason to FIRE? Keep Calm and Carry On Milking.

infogoon

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1052 on: February 12, 2016, 09:30:11 AM »
My big savings lately was on black peppercorns from an Indian store.
The Indian store here (Patel Brothers) has been raising their prices upwards to "match" with Sam's Club and Publix. Muh'fuggers!

The one here is still pretty inexpensive. A word of caution, though -- if the Indian store says something is "extra spicy", that means any other grocer would label it "WEAPONS GRADE".

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1053 on: February 12, 2016, 09:38:47 AM »
My big savings lately was on black peppercorns from an Indian store.
The Indian store here (Patel Brothers) has been raising their prices upwards to "match" with Sam's Club and Publix. Muh'fuggers!

That's funny, the main Indian store here in MN is Patel Brothers as well.

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1054 on: February 12, 2016, 09:57:34 AM »
My big savings lately was on black peppercorns from an Indian store.
The Indian store here (Patel Brothers) has been raising their prices upwards to "match" with Sam's Club and Publix. Muh'fuggers!

That's funny, the main Indian store here in MN is Patel Brothers as well.

There is a Kroger near my house that recently started selling haldi (turmeric root) for $7.99/lb.

Patel Brothers has large location here in Atlanta area as well.

Fi(re) on the Farm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1055 on: February 12, 2016, 10:32:14 AM »
My big savings lately was on black peppercorns from an Indian store.
The Indian store here (Patel Brothers) has been raising their prices upwards to "match" with Sam's Club and Publix. Muh'fuggers!

That's funny, the main Indian store here in MN is Patel Brothers as well.

There is a Kroger near my house that recently started selling haldi (turmeric root) for $7.99/lb.

Patel Brothers has large location here in Atlanta area as well.

I buy all my spices at my local health food co-op. I can buy as little as a teaspoon and it's about 1/4 the cost or less than the grocery store.

bloomability

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1056 on: February 12, 2016, 04:10:56 PM »
It certainly is a balance between finding predictive factors that are supported by data and having those factors be allowed by the state departments of insurance. Plus, with 50 states + DC, GU, PR, VI, you'll virtually always have one state objecting to something the insurance carrier wants to do.
Right, there's definitely a social acceptance criteria. Right now, in the health market, we are cool with charging smokers and old people more, that's considered fair. Maybe in twenty years we'll be cool with charging more to anyone with a BMI > 30. Or lumping people into different risk pools by race. Or political leanings.

Is it illegal for a health insurer to use publicly available info to determine rates, am thinking that BMI, fitness levels and even political leanings would not be that hard to extract from FB for a great many people?  Maybe they could get BMI more directly but still.   Also could they use FB to look at your friends/family and there level of health, I assume there is some correlation within social circles.  Do the laws relate to the method of collection of information or its usage?

My health insurance premium is tied to my BMI from a required yearly, biometric screening. The cut-off for the discount is actually a BMI of 27.

vern

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1057 on: February 12, 2016, 10:23:39 PM »
I get my spice from Arrakis. 

The shipping is expensive though.
"Of my fifty-seven years I have applied at least thirty to forgetting most of what I had learned or read, and since I succeeded in this I have acquired a certain ease and cheer which I should never again like to be without."  World Chess Champion Emanuel Lasker

TomTX

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1058 on: February 13, 2016, 11:37:38 AM »
Not to derail the foam but, I always knew the day would come when would have to make this post.

My aunt recently turned 60 and has been complaining non-stop for the past 2 years about how sick she is of her job and how desperate she is move to Florida. For the past 20 years, auntie has had a VERY high travel, high stress job (~25 international trips and ~100 domestic ones per year) as the point-person for the maintenance of some critical networks. I always knew she was well compensated for all the sacrifice her job required since she:

-Lives ALONE in a 3000 (4000?) sq. ft. 5-bedroom McMansion she had built
-Said house is stuffed with STUFF (not hoarder level - just the usual furniture, nick-nacks, hundreds of pieces of clothes, scuba equipment, etc.)
-Keeps two large dogs (easily 10K a year in kenneling/dog watching expenses since she's on the road 6-7 months of the year)
-Owns a 40 ft boat that's really too large for her to handle herself

I thought she was making ~200K a year and spending it all. Yesterday she let slip that she's making over $450K. Even if on average she made "only" $250k for the last 20 years, that's $5M in income and she probably has a negative network.

Until recently, my family has been fine with all this, it's her life after all. This last year though she's gone on and on about moving to Florida and downshifting to a less stressful job - which she could easily do if she sold 85% of her stuff and found a nice two bed room on the water. Initially, that was her plan...two years later and now she's looking at 4bd houses and talking about how it'll "only" be 8-12K to ship all her (worthless) furniture down from Boston.

It's so frustrating being able to see how easily she could change her life and she just WON'T DO IT.

Load up the boat, sell what she can, chuck the rest and set sail for Islamadora.

http://www.islamoradachamber.com/listings.cfm?cat=22&mcat=2#.Vr91hF4oB0w

And now back to your regularly scheduled foam:

]

BMI is good as a population level indicator, but bad as an individual level indicator. I believe it was actually designed to be population level and then got applied for individuals.

BMI wasn't really "designed" it came from a Belgian in the mid1800s looking at which of his upper-class friends looked attractive and then roughing out a simple formula based on those data points. There were no health correlations made whatsoever. He explicitly said it should not be applied to individuals, just population studies.

Note that he's a rather skinny looking fellow.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolphe_Quetelet

Or doesn't carry a balance at all. "Pays on time every month" is all that matters on the credit cards. And if he pays off all but $10 before the statement is calculated, all the better, because his utilization'll be like 2% but he'll still get points for paying on time.

Leaving a $10 balance is not better. Source: My 850 out of 850 credit score* and never carrying a credit card balance. Ever.


*In 2014. Then I started playing games with CC signup bonuses, so it bounces around 825-830 with the hard pulls, new accounts and such. Having done it for the fun of it, there is no real reason to keep at an 850 score, may as well get $500 tax-free signup bonuses instead.




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Making Cookies

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1059 on: February 13, 2016, 09:13:12 PM »
Had a long distance telephone conversation with a relative that implied that the only way to live was in a large metropolitan area (more work opportunities) and consequently you are supposed to accept all those things that come with it like the 45 min commute, lots of miles and gasoline, frequent car replacement, etc b/c that is what it takes to buy a house in a good school district.

I didn't want to spend any time defending our different outlook so I let it ride. We're making alot more money "doing it wrong" (small town, short commute, lower COL) and thus saving much more. We drive fewer miles and our cars last many years longer too.

Taran Wanderer

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1060 on: February 14, 2016, 12:08:36 AM »
Had a long distance telephone conversation with a relative that implied that the only way to live was in a large metropolitan area (more work opportunities) and consequently you are supposed to accept all those things that come with it like the 45 min commute, lots of miles and gasoline, frequent car replacement, etc b/c that is what it takes to buy a house in a good school district.

I didn't want to spend any time defending our different outlook so I let it ride. We're making alot more money "doing it wrong" (small town, short commute, lower COL) and thus saving much more. We drive fewer miles and our cars last many years longer too.

We're doing the same thing you are.  It's always nice when people come to our house and comment about the house, the view, the ease of getting around, and yet they stay in the city or suburbs in a mcmansion with a commute.  I guess small-town living isn't for everyone... thankfully!

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1061 on: February 14, 2016, 05:31:53 PM »
Had a long distance telephone conversation with a relative that implied that the only way to live was in a large metropolitan area (more work opportunities) and consequently you are supposed to accept all those things that come with it like the 45 min commute, lots of miles and gasoline, frequent car replacement, etc b/c that is what it takes to buy a house in a good school district.

I didn't want to spend any time defending our different outlook so I let it ride. We're making alot more money "doing it wrong" (small town, short commute, lower COL) and thus saving much more. We drive fewer miles and our cars last many years longer too.

We're doing the same thing you are.  It's always nice when people come to our house and comment about the house, the view, the ease of getting around, and yet they stay in the city or suburbs in a mcmansion with a commute.  I guess small-town living isn't for everyone... thankfully!

That's great if you enjoy living in a small-town and are able to find work. Many of the people I know that live in a small-town have a fairly long commute to a bigger city for work, but that's just the people I know.

ender

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1062 on: February 15, 2016, 06:02:58 AM »
Had a long distance telephone conversation with a relative that implied that the only way to live was in a large metropolitan area (more work opportunities) and consequently you are supposed to accept all those things that come with it like the 45 min commute, lots of miles and gasoline, frequent car replacement, etc b/c that is what it takes to buy a house in a good school district.

I didn't want to spend any time defending our different outlook so I let it ride. We're making alot more money "doing it wrong" (small town, short commute, lower COL) and thus saving much more. We drive fewer miles and our cars last many years longer too.

We're doing the same thing you are.  It's always nice when people come to our house and comment about the house, the view, the ease of getting around, and yet they stay in the city or suburbs in a mcmansion with a commute.  I guess small-town living isn't for everyone... thankfully!

That's great if you enjoy living in a small-town and are able to find work. Many of the people I know that live in a small-town have a fairly long commute to a bigger city for work, but that's just the people I know.

Finding work is the trick.

Though I guess we live in a small town now and I have a good job :-)

If we knew I could find a job consistently (ie not tied to one company) we'd absolutely move somewhere even smaller, but at least for the next 15 years having stable employment is important...

Joggernot

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1063 on: February 15, 2016, 07:12:07 AM »
I guess I've been lucky.  My commutes were all less than 10 miles except for when the only job to be had was in Washington, DC.  Then it was over an hour by bus and Metro and walking.  Even in San Jose, CA I was only 3 miles from work and got to ride a bicycle on the commute.  Other towns were medium (35k) or small (under 35k) in population.

dplasters

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1064 on: February 15, 2016, 07:43:05 AM »
I guess I've been lucky.  My commutes were all less than 10 miles except for when the only job to be had was in Washington, DC.  Then it was over an hour by bus and Metro and walking.  Even in San Jose, CA I was only 3 miles from work and got to ride a bicycle on the commute.  Other towns were medium (35k) or small (under 35k) in population.

The interest to me here is that you first use geographic distance to measure your commute, then time, the back to distance.

ZenLee

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Car Payments
« Reply #1065 on: February 15, 2016, 09:02:52 AM »
I am so happy to have discovered MMM a few months ago! Turns out I was mustachian all along and just hadn't found my people yet :)  I also finally got registered for the forums and wanted to share a story that happened over the holidays in my house:

My mom is a lovely woman who struggles with her finances and just can't seem to 'get it'.   She just retired and told me she was going to buy a brand new car on payments because her (not very old, reliable) civic was not new enough or reliable enough anymore.  OK, fine: as my sister said, maybe she just needed a big treat/celebration type thing and I shouldn't meddle too much.  But her finances were clear and we had everything written out so it's not like it was a surprise when the monthly payments started going out, eating up most of her budget.  So she says "well I sure like my car but those payments are eating a lot up.  I don't really have money for anything else now.  I can't go out, I can't travel, and I have to budget for everything really carefully".  I'm like yeah, well, you knew that going in of course, but at least it will be all paid off in a few more years and then you can do all that stuff if you want!  So she says "Well, I just hope I still like that car in 5 years or else I'll have to get a new one again!"   AARRGGHH!  As if liking your car is something out of your control (or something necessary)!!  I honestly wonder sometimes if she just does this stuff to watch my blood boil and secretly enjoy it! 

Also: a friend told me that she's going to buy a new SUV that has better heaters so her baby can be warmer for the handful of times she drives somewhere in the extreme cold.  I suggested putting a blanket over baby but I guess that's not going to compete with the new SUV idea.  Another friend is buying a new suv to replace her small car so her baby seat and stroller will fit in it.  Also suggested smaller baby seat and stroller instead but that's clearly not going to cut it. 

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1066 on: February 15, 2016, 09:19:48 AM »
I get my spice from Arrakis. 

The shipping is expensive though.

Indeed pricey. But you have to admit the shipping is fast. I just wish FedEx could fold space.

Kitsune

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1067 on: February 15, 2016, 09:26:58 AM »
Had a long distance telephone conversation with a relative that implied that the only way to live was in a large metropolitan area (more work opportunities) and consequently you are supposed to accept all those things that come with it like the 45 min commute, lots of miles and gasoline, frequent car replacement, etc b/c that is what it takes to buy a house in a good school district.

I didn't want to spend any time defending our different outlook so I let it ride. We're making alot more money "doing it wrong" (small town, short commute, lower COL) and thus saving much more. We drive fewer miles and our cars last many years longer too.

We're doing the same thing you are.  It's always nice when people come to our house and comment about the house, the view, the ease of getting around, and yet they stay in the city or suburbs in a mcmansion with a commute.  I guess small-town living isn't for everyone... thankfully!

That's great if you enjoy living in a small-town and are able to find work. Many of the people I know that live in a small-town have a fairly long commute to a bigger city for work, but that's just the people I know.

Yeah, that's my case - 30 mile commute. Fortunately, it's twice a week (I work from home the rest of the time) and I carpool with my husband. But still... the commuting ain't great. (Mind, the benefits we get from living where we do are worth it, and it was a conscious choice that we don't regret. But you kinda have to know you're making that choice and weigh your options.)

LeRainDrop

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Re: Car Payments
« Reply #1068 on: February 15, 2016, 10:00:07 AM »
I am so happy to have discovered MMM a few months ago! Turns out I was mustachian all along and just hadn't found my people yet :)  I also finally got registered for the forums and wanted to share a story that happened over the holidays in my house:

My mom is a lovely woman who struggles with her finances and just can't seem to 'get it'. . . . I honestly wonder sometimes if she just does this stuff to watch my blood boil and secretly enjoy it! 

Welcome to the forum, ZenLee!  Your mom sounds just like mine.  My brother and I helped her lay out her fixed expenses, see that there is extremely little wiggle room for the non-fixed expenses (even on the basics, like groceries and gas), and so this is where she needs to stay to not spend more than she earns.  Well, nope, she just continues to hope that things will turn out better than the best-case scenario and is surprised when that impossibility doesn't happen!

AlanStache

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Re: Car Payments
« Reply #1069 on: February 15, 2016, 11:08:27 AM »
...
Also: a friend told me that she's going to buy a new SUV that has better heaters so her baby can be warmer for the handful of times she drives somewhere in the extreme cold.  I suggested putting a blanket over baby but I guess that's not going to compete with the new SUV idea.

That is why I could never work in sales or marketing, such stupidity would never occur to me.  This is literally beyond my imagination.  Are heaters even ranked on cars?  Does Ford list max BTU/hr on there HulkLander SUV - but that would only be for the front seats?  Do they account for airflow to the middle zones where baby stays?  Maybe it has a back up electric air heater too for during the first three minutes before the 500hp engine really gets the heat flowing?
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Goldielocks

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Re: Car Payments
« Reply #1070 on: February 15, 2016, 11:34:29 AM »
AARRGGHH!  As if liking your car is something out of your control (or something necessary)!!



Now THAT is the heart of it.   Most people don't like their vehicles after 3-5 years, but so what?

Joggernot

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1071 on: February 15, 2016, 12:16:15 PM »
I guess I've been lucky.  My commutes were all less than 10 miles except for when the only job to be had was in Washington, DC.  Then it was over an hour by bus and Metro and walking.  Even in San Jose, CA I was only 3 miles from work and got to ride a bicycle on the commute.  Other towns were medium (35k) or small (under 35k) in population.

The interest to me here is that you first use geographic distance to measure your commute, then time, the back to distance.
In smaller towns you can equate miles to time.  Basically you do the speed limit all the way -- no traffic.  In the city, DC, everything is in time it takes.  My son lives 40 miles from work and it can take anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours to do the commute.  When you're only 3 miles from work and ride a bike, it only takes a few minutes to get there even with traffic.

maco

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1072 on: February 15, 2016, 01:51:09 PM »
I guess I've been lucky.  My commutes were all less than 10 miles except for when the only job to be had was in Washington, DC.  Then it was over an hour by bus and Metro and walking.  Even in San Jose, CA I was only 3 miles from work and got to ride a bicycle on the commute.  Other towns were medium (35k) or small (under 35k) in population.

The interest to me here is that you first use geographic distance to measure your commute, then time, the back to distance.
In smaller towns you can equate miles to time.  Basically you do the speed limit all the way -- no traffic.  In the city, DC, everything is in time it takes.  My son lives 40 miles from work and it can take anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours to do the commute.  When you're only 3 miles from work and ride a bike, it only takes a few minutes to get there even with traffic.
And it doesn't scale linearly at all. Walking from Foggy Bottom to Metro Center is 15 minutes. Taxiing is 15 minutes. Metroing is 15 minutes.  But 10 miles from Silver Spring into downtown? 1 hour.

maco

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1073 on: February 15, 2016, 01:53:15 PM »
Or doesn't carry a balance at all. "Pays on time every month" is all that matters on the credit cards. And if he pays off all but $10 before the statement is calculated, all the better, because his utilization'll be like 2% but he'll still get points for paying on time.

Leaving a $10 balance is not better. Source: My 850 out of 850 credit score* and never carrying a credit card balance. Ever.


*In 2014. Then I started playing games with CC signup bonuses, so it bounces around 825-830 with the hard pulls, new accounts and such. Having done it for the fun of it, there is no real reason to keep at an 850 score, may as well get $500 tax-free signup bonuses instead.
They didn't say to carry a balance. They said to make it so the statement balance is ridiculously low (so utilization is low) before going ahead and paying it off in full after the statement is generated. The idea is to avoid having the resets-every-month "utilization" portion ever say "statement balance was 50% of limit."

onehair

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1074 on: March 07, 2016, 12:39:07 PM »
Latest update on my awful aunt and uncle:

My mom went over to Grandma's house to discuss for the umpteenth time my aunt and uncle taking over the house so my mom can stop paying the bills.  My uncle who was evicted has not surprisingly been staying with my aunt in the house.  I don't know how long he has been there.  During my mother's visit he didn't even condescend to come out of his room.

My aunt peppered my mom with useless questions and claims of her ongoing sickness and anemia which is why she cannot get even a part time job.  My uncle isn't working either and if he has any income I am not aware of it.  My mom suggested she surrender her storage unit and reduce her cable choices to free up money this was met with more yet more excuses and blank stares. 

My mom is finally fed up and has decided to go see a lawyer on April 1st to see about selling the house.  She is past exasperated with them.

mtn

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1075 on: March 07, 2016, 12:47:30 PM »
Latest update on my awful aunt and uncle:

My mom went over to Grandma's house to discuss for the umpteenth time my aunt and uncle taking over the house so my mom can stop paying the bills.  My uncle who was evicted has not surprisingly been staying with my aunt in the house.  I don't know how long he has been there.  During my mother's visit he didn't even condescend to come out of his room.

My aunt peppered my mom with useless questions and claims of her ongoing sickness and anemia which is why she cannot get even a part time job.  My uncle isn't working either and if he has any income I am not aware of it.  My mom suggested she surrender her storage unit and reduce her cable choices to free up money this was met with more yet more excuses and blank stares. 

My mom is finally fed up and has decided to go see a lawyer on April 1st to see about selling the house.  She is past exasperated with them.

Can't your mom just have the utilities turned off?

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1076 on: March 07, 2016, 02:07:16 PM »
Latest update on my awful aunt and uncle:

My mom went over to Grandma's house to discuss for the umpteenth time my aunt and uncle taking over the house so my mom can stop paying the bills.  My uncle who was evicted has not surprisingly been staying with my aunt in the house.  I don't know how long he has been there.  During my mother's visit he didn't even condescend to come out of his room.

My aunt peppered my mom with useless questions and claims of her ongoing sickness and anemia which is why she cannot get even a part time job.  My uncle isn't working either and if he has any income I am not aware of it.  My mom suggested she surrender her storage unit and reduce her cable choices to free up money this was met with more yet more excuses and blank stares. 

My mom is finally fed up and has decided to go see a lawyer on April 1st to see about selling the house.  She is past exasperated with them.

Can't your mom just have the utilities turned off?

No, that's illegal. She also can't just change the locks or throw their belongings onto the yard. Tenants have rights, and in this case a tenant who is abusing the tenancy is causing a big headache for the mother. Simply selling the property will at least make the freeloaders someone else's problem.
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MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1077 on: March 08, 2016, 10:12:04 AM »
Latest update on my awful aunt and uncle:

My mom went over to Grandma's house to discuss for the umpteenth time my aunt and uncle taking over the house so my mom can stop paying the bills.  My uncle who was evicted has not surprisingly been staying with my aunt in the house.  I don't know how long he has been there.  During my mother's visit he didn't even condescend to come out of his room.

My aunt peppered my mom with useless questions and claims of her ongoing sickness and anemia which is why she cannot get even a part time job.  My uncle isn't working either and if he has any income I am not aware of it.  My mom suggested she surrender her storage unit and reduce her cable choices to free up money this was met with more yet more excuses and blank stares. 

My mom is finally fed up and has decided to go see a lawyer on April 1st to see about selling the house.  She is past exasperated with them.

Can't your mom just have the utilities turned off?

No, that's illegal. She also can't just change the locks or throw their belongings onto the yard. Tenants have rights, and in this case a tenant who is abusing the tenancy is causing a big headache for the mother. Simply selling the property will at least make the freeloaders someone else's problem.

Yeah that's what troubles me about having a roommate. It can be pain to evict them for non-payment or other things, and the process can take a while (in the meantime, that roommate could theoretically terrorize you or make a huge mess on his/her way out).

Edit: While I might complain about this, I must keep in mind that there's a reason rules are in place to protect tenant. Far too many landlords (think slumlords) took advantage of their tenants, necessitating a need for protections.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1078 on: March 08, 2016, 08:22:51 PM »
Latest update on my awful aunt and uncle:

My mom went over to Grandma's house to discuss for the umpteenth time my aunt and uncle taking over the house so my mom can stop paying the bills.  My uncle who was evicted has not surprisingly been staying with my aunt in the house.  I don't know how long he has been there.  During my mother's visit he didn't even condescend to come out of his room.

My aunt peppered my mom with useless questions and claims of her ongoing sickness and anemia which is why she cannot get even a part time job.  My uncle isn't working either and if he has any income I am not aware of it.  My mom suggested she surrender her storage unit and reduce her cable choices to free up money this was met with more yet more excuses and blank stares. 

My mom is finally fed up and has decided to go see a lawyer on April 1st to see about selling the house.  She is past exasperated with them.

Can't your mom just have the utilities turned off?

No, that's illegal. She also can't just change the locks or throw their belongings onto the yard. Tenants have rights, and in this case a tenant who is abusing the tenancy is causing a big headache for the mother. Simply selling the property will at least make the freeloaders someone else's problem.

Yeah that's what troubles me about having a roommate. It can be pain to evict them for non-payment or other things, and the process can take a while (in the meantime, that roommate could theoretically terrorize you or make a huge mess on his/her way out).

Edit: While I might complain about this, I must keep in mind that there's a reason rules are in place to protect tenant. Far too many landlords (think slumlords) took advantage of their tenants, necessitating a need for protections.

I rented out single rooms in my home for several years, and found that screening prospective tenants (never call them "roommates" or "housemates" if you own and they rent) is the best way to avoid drama.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1079 on: March 09, 2016, 06:39:14 AM »
Latest update on my awful aunt and uncle:

My mom went over to Grandma's house to discuss for the umpteenth time my aunt and uncle taking over the house so my mom can stop paying the bills.  My uncle who was evicted has not surprisingly been staying with my aunt in the house.  I don't know how long he has been there.  During my mother's visit he didn't even condescend to come out of his room.

My aunt peppered my mom with useless questions and claims of her ongoing sickness and anemia which is why she cannot get even a part time job.  My uncle isn't working either and if he has any income I am not aware of it.  My mom suggested she surrender her storage unit and reduce her cable choices to free up money this was met with more yet more excuses and blank stares. 

My mom is finally fed up and has decided to go see a lawyer on April 1st to see about selling the house.  She is past exasperated with them.

Can't your mom just have the utilities turned off?

No, that's illegal. She also can't just change the locks or throw their belongings onto the yard. Tenants have rights, and in this case a tenant who is abusing the tenancy is causing a big headache for the mother. Simply selling the property will at least make the freeloaders someone else's problem.

Yeah that's what troubles me about having a roommate. It can be pain to evict them for non-payment or other things, and the process can take a while (in the meantime, that roommate could theoretically terrorize you or make a huge mess on his/her way out).

Edit: While I might complain about this, I must keep in mind that there's a reason rules are in place to protect tenant. Far too many landlords (think slumlords) took advantage of their tenants, necessitating a need for protections.

I rented out single rooms in my home for several years, and found that screening prospective tenants (never call them "roommates" or "housemates" if you own and they rent) is the best way to avoid drama.

GrimSqueaker, that is exactly the advice I received from a landlord attorney I worked with shortly after I bought our duplex.  He said "get licensed (a city requirement here) and do good screenings."  He estimated that 90% of his cases wouldn't need him if they didn't get in that arrangement in the first place.  Most of the time the warning signs are there before entering into a lease agreement.

MgoSam, I'd also recommend having a lease.  Without one, there isn't a legal agreement to enforce if things come to it.  You could also make parts of your agreement (i.e. your tenant shovels the snow, you mow the grass) part of the lease.  In that case, if they stop shoveling, they are breaching the lease.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1080 on: March 09, 2016, 09:06:50 AM »
Latest update on my awful aunt and uncle:

My mom went over to Grandma's house to discuss for the umpteenth time my aunt and uncle taking over the house so my mom can stop paying the bills.  My uncle who was evicted has not surprisingly been staying with my aunt in the house.  I don't know how long he has been there.  During my mother's visit he didn't even condescend to come out of his room.

My aunt peppered my mom with useless questions and claims of her ongoing sickness and anemia which is why she cannot get even a part time job.  My uncle isn't working either and if he has any income I am not aware of it.  My mom suggested she surrender her storage unit and reduce her cable choices to free up money this was met with more yet more excuses and blank stares. 

My mom is finally fed up and has decided to go see a lawyer on April 1st to see about selling the house.  She is past exasperated with them.

Tell her to ask the lawyer how to evict them, too. Trying to sell a house that has obnoxious tenants in it is a severely money-losing proposition. The house won't show well, your uncle and aunt could seriously interfere with showings, and above all, NOBODY wants to buy a legal problem... which is what a house containing obnoxious tenants who refuse to leave is.

IOW my advice is, evict them first, then prep the house for sale, then put it on the market. And since she's not seeing a lawyer until April 1, and it's probably going to take 30-60 days to actually evict them if your state is anything like mine, she needs to GET MOVING on the eviction in order to have the house on the market during the high season for sales.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1081 on: March 09, 2016, 11:17:40 AM »

MgoSam, I'd also recommend having a lease.  Without one, there isn't a legal agreement to enforce if things come to it.  You could also make parts of your agreement (i.e. your tenant shovels the snow, you mow the grass) part of the lease.  In that case, if they stop shoveling, they are breaching the lease.

Thanks I agree. A friend of a friend came and looked at my house yesterday and liked the basement. I live in a townhouse so there isn't outdoor work required, but I do have a lease that I will request him to sign, laying out expectations and rules (lease terms, payment).

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1082 on: March 09, 2016, 11:49:31 AM »

MgoSam, I'd also recommend having a lease.  Without one, there isn't a legal agreement to enforce if things come to it.  You could also make parts of your agreement (i.e. your tenant shovels the snow, you mow the grass) part of the lease.  In that case, if they stop shoveling, they are breaching the lease.

Thanks I agree. A friend of a friend came and looked at my house yesterday and liked the basement. I live in a townhouse so there isn't outdoor work required, but I do have a lease that I will request him to sign, laying out expectations and rules (lease terms, payment).

Instead of a lease, have a month-to-month rental agreement that can be cancelled cleanly by either party if things don't work out. Your country, region, or state will have a minimum notice period where you have to give the other person written notice, and so long as you meet or exceed that minimum notice time you're in the clear.

Personality conflicts and misalignments of interest happen. One of the worst things you can have in your house is a tenant who doesn't want to be there.
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MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1083 on: March 09, 2016, 12:00:44 PM »

MgoSam, I'd also recommend having a lease.  Without one, there isn't a legal agreement to enforce if things come to it.  You could also make parts of your agreement (i.e. your tenant shovels the snow, you mow the grass) part of the lease.  In that case, if they stop shoveling, they are breaching the lease.

Thanks I agree. A friend of a friend came and looked at my house yesterday and liked the basement. I live in a townhouse so there isn't outdoor work required, but I do have a lease that I will request him to sign, laying out expectations and rules (lease terms, payment).

Instead of a lease, have a month-to-month rental agreement that can be cancelled cleanly by either party if things don't work out. Your country, region, or state will have a minimum notice period where you have to give the other person written notice, and so long as you meet or exceed that minimum notice time you're in the clear.

Personality conflicts and misalignments of interest happen. One of the worst things you can have in your house is a tenant who doesn't want to be there.

Yeah, I'm requesting a 6 month lease and he agrees to that term, and then we will go month-to-month, with a definite minimum notice. I'll talk to him about that as well. And I agree, if he is unhappy I'm willing to allow him out of his lease.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1084 on: March 09, 2016, 03:44:35 PM »

MgoSam, I'd also recommend having a lease.  Without one, there isn't a legal agreement to enforce if things come to it.  You could also make parts of your agreement (i.e. your tenant shovels the snow, you mow the grass) part of the lease.  In that case, if they stop shoveling, they are breaching the lease.

Thanks I agree. A friend of a friend came and looked at my house yesterday and liked the basement. I live in a townhouse so there isn't outdoor work required, but I do have a lease that I will request him to sign, laying out expectations and rules (lease terms, payment).

Instead of a lease, have a month-to-month rental agreement that can be cancelled cleanly by either party if things don't work out. Your country, region, or state will have a minimum notice period where you have to give the other person written notice, and so long as you meet or exceed that minimum notice time you're in the clear.

Personality conflicts and misalignments of interest happen. One of the worst things you can have in your house is a tenant who doesn't want to be there.

Yeah, I'm requesting a 6 month lease and he agrees to that term, and then we will go month-to-month, with a definite minimum notice. I'll talk to him about that as well. And I agree, if he is unhappy I'm willing to allow him out of his lease.

Or, you could try it the other way: a lease with a 3 to 6-month trial period at the beginning, where either of you can pull the plug if you want. After three months of sharing a house with someone all of your (and their) imperfections are well known and understood. You'll know, for example, whether the rent is going to be late.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1085 on: March 11, 2016, 10:20:27 AM »
...

Or, you could try it the other way: a lease with a 3 to 6-month trial period at the beginning, where either of you can pull the plug if you want. After three months of sharing a house with someone all of your (and their) imperfections are well known and understood. You'll know, for example, whether the rent is going to be late.

Have done that in past, with a no-harm-no-foul first month or two then after that the longer term kicks in.  Not sure is legal but things worked out well.  Was nice for both of us to know going in that if it did not work out we could walk away.
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Ralph2

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1086 on: March 11, 2016, 05:17:49 PM »
Wife's sister called yesterday to tell her they were replacing the granite counter tops in their five-year-old, former model home...with different granite. Boy, you talk about home improvements in terms of percentage you'll get back in resale. I'd put this one at zero.

But they had to replace that dated granite with this summer's new granite colors!

After all, nothing says the 1990s like ubatuba, and what would people like the cat sitter and the maids think?

Woof. talk about waste.


What waste? This way you get newish kitchens etc all for the cost a trip to pull apart/collect the item before the kitchen place turns up and you save them the cost of having the old one taken away.
A mate uses old kitchen cupboards as storage in his sheds.
Win/win all round.

I think most of my house is furnished this way, no new cupboards, tables, beds or lounges in our place. Except we splurge on mattresses if needed when the 50% off sales are on, making sure we know the price of the mattress when it is not on sale.
I have only one problem coming up, one of our acquaintances is moving and has offered us their wide screen, it is four times the size of our current tube one so we will need a new lounge room, or is this my chance to set up a game system in the shed?

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1087 on: March 11, 2016, 09:30:11 PM »
...

Or, you could try it the other way: a lease with a 3 to 6-month trial period at the beginning, where either of you can pull the plug if you want. After three months of sharing a house with someone all of your (and their) imperfections are well known and understood. You'll know, for example, whether the rent is going to be late.

Have done that in past, with a no-harm-no-foul first month or two then after that the longer term kicks in.  Not sure is legal but things worked out well.  Was nice for both of us to know going in that if it did not work out we could walk away.

It's legal, provided the amount of notice you give is equal to or greater than what would be allowed in a regular month-to-month tenancy. One month (starting on or before the first day of the month) is the minimum, but some jurisdictions have a higher minimum notice period. Just make sure you look up and follow whatever notice period applies where you live.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1088 on: March 13, 2016, 12:24:27 AM »
In certain jurisdictions, like mine (Quebec), if you're having a limited number of roommates within your primary residence that you own, tenant protections do not apply. Here, the limit is renting 2 rooms or less, none of which may have a private bathroom or a separate exit to outside.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1089 on: March 13, 2016, 01:15:19 PM »
In certain jurisdictions, like mine (Quebec), if you're having a limited number of roommates within your primary residence that you own, tenant protections do not apply. Here, the limit is renting 2 rooms or less, none of which may have a private bathroom or a separate exit to outside.

Indeed. As I recall, that was intended to keep people from being abused by freeloading guests and relatives. Did it work?
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1090 on: March 14, 2016, 06:04:30 AM »
I was at my dad's yesterday when he mentioned the recent Chipotle health hazard thing that's been in the news. He said he had heard one report saying that their stocks had dropped more than 20% and rebounded back to previous levels over the course of a couple weeks.
Dad: "can you imagine buying when they were low like that? That would have been a sizeable return!"
Me: "Hell yeah, they were on sale"
Dad: "I should start keeping an eye out for companies taking a dive that I know are going to bounce back like that."
Me: "But ... that sounds a lot like day trading. There's no way to know for certain whether a company is going to bounce back from a low point."
Dad: "I know a lot of people that have made a lot of money doing it."
Me: "......"

I almost had him, then his stupid co-workers that brag about small wins from day trading but never disclose how much they actually LOSE pulled him back in. His logic is about as sound as "I should take all of my money to the casino because I saw professional poker players make a lot of money on tv."

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1091 on: March 14, 2016, 08:25:03 AM »
I was at my dad's yesterday when he mentioned the recent Chipotle health hazard thing that's been in the news. He said he had heard one report saying that their stocks had dropped more than 20% and rebounded back to previous levels over the course of a couple weeks.
Dad: "can you imagine buying when they were low like that? That would have been a sizeable return!"
Me: "Hell yeah, they were on sale"
Dad: "I should start keeping an eye out for companies taking a dive that I know are going to bounce back like that."
Me: "But ... that sounds a lot like day trading. There's no way to know for certain whether a company is going to bounce back from a low point."
Dad: "I know a lot of people that have made a lot of money doing it."
Me: "......"

I almost had him, then his stupid co-workers that brag about small wins from day trading but never disclose how much they actually LOSE pulled him back in. His logic is about as sound as "I should take all of my money to the casino because I saw professional poker players make a lot of money on tv."


Eh, but he does have a decent point with that. It isn't quite day trading. I've done the same with BP, and was going to do the same with Chipotle but the buy-in was too high for me at the time. You can look at the size/popularity of some of the companies (along with their balance sheet) and determine if they will still be there in 10 years. If so, it is probably a relatively safe bet.

I would have been buying it based on the fact that I am walking distance from 4 Chipotles at work, and every one of them is always packed. That, and I believe the company is well managed overall.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1092 on: March 14, 2016, 09:12:02 AM »
I was at my dad's yesterday when he mentioned the recent Chipotle health hazard thing that's been in the news. He said he had heard one report saying that their stocks had dropped more than 20% and rebounded back to previous levels over the course of a couple weeks.
Dad: "can you imagine buying when they were low like that? That would have been a sizeable return!"
Me: "Hell yeah, they were on sale"
Dad: "I should start keeping an eye out for companies taking a dive that I know are going to bounce back like that."
Me: "But ... that sounds a lot like day trading. There's no way to know for certain whether a company is going to bounce back from a low point."
Dad: "I know a lot of people that have made a lot of money doing it."
Me: "......"

I almost had him, then his stupid co-workers that brag about small wins from day trading but never disclose how much they actually LOSE pulled him back in. His logic is about as sound as "I should take all of my money to the casino because I saw professional poker players make a lot of money on tv."


Eh, but he does have a decent point with that. It isn't quite day trading. I've done the same with BP, and was going to do the same with Chipotle but the buy-in was too high for me at the time. You can look at the size/popularity of some of the companies (along with their balance sheet) and determine if they will still be there in 10 years. If so, it is probably a relatively safe bet.

I would have been buying it based on the fact that I am walking distance from 4 Chipotles at work, and every one of them is always packed. That, and I believe the company is well managed overall.
My dad doesn't put that level of research into financial planning. He's more likely to see something on the news about a big company's stock dropping and buy into it if he follows through. One can hope though ...

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1093 on: March 14, 2016, 10:43:44 AM »

I would have been buying it based on the fact that I am walking distance from 4 Chipotles at work, and every one of them is always packed. That, and I believe the company is well managed overall.

That I believe is the factor to look for. Warren Buffet said something similar, "I like a company so profitable, it could be run by a ham sandwich."

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1094 on: March 14, 2016, 11:47:35 AM »
My uncle, a Ron Swanson type of man, heartily disliked my aunt's tiny car. So when it needed a minor repair two weeks after buying it, he bought an entirely new car. Normally I'd laugh and recommend a Tesla, but apparently he's still in debt at 75 years old... that just hurts my heart!

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1095 on: March 14, 2016, 12:08:56 PM »
My uncle, a Ron Swanson type of man, heartily disliked my aunt's tiny car. So when it needed a minor repair two weeks after buying it, he bought an entirely new car. Normally I'd laugh and recommend a Tesla, but apparently he's still in debt at 75 years old... that just hurts my heart!

Ron Swanson is pretty Mustachian, IMHO.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1096 on: March 14, 2016, 12:19:56 PM »
My uncle, a Ron Swanson type of man, heartily disliked my aunt's tiny car. So when it needed a minor repair two weeks after buying it, he bought an entirely new car. Normally I'd laugh and recommend a Tesla, but apparently he's still in debt at 75 years old... that just hurts my heart!

Ron Swanson is pretty Mustachian, IMHO.

I agree, but he would disdain a tiny, dainty car.  He would equally laugh at buying a brand new car, and at overly large trucks that don't really serve a good purpose.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1097 on: March 14, 2016, 01:09:00 PM »
Ron Swanson buries precious metals in the woods too.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1098 on: March 15, 2016, 06:55:07 AM »
Not directly about a relative, but about her house. :)

My husband's great-aunt built a house when she was in her early 60s: perfect retirement home on a lake, one-story, small, perfect for one person. Mostly solar-heated, it's got HUGE south-facing windows (facing the lake, too - gorgeous view), with thick curtains that you can use to cover the upper half ... so, you open them during the day in winter, and draw the curtains in summer. The house has electric heat and no AC, other than the huge windows. We rented it for 3 months last summer while building our house, and I can confirm that, as long as you close the drapes in summer, it's delightfully cool, and the heating bill was NEVER over 120$/month in winter, not for the past 20 years. Electric rates, for the record, have not gone up in any significant way between last winter and this winter.

She moved into a home recently (she's in her 90s at this point) and the house is now rented by a tenant, who I had a conversation with.

She complained about electric bills for heating during our (terribly mild, honestly) winter. 350$/month, she says (for the record: that's twice the electric/heating bill on my 3-story house...)! She never would have rented the house if she had known how much it would cost, she said!

Turns out: she refuses to open the drapes in the window because 'it will fade the bedspread. IF YOU DO NOT LET THE SUN IN YOU DO NOT GET SOLAR HEATING, AND THEN YOU PAY FOR ELECTRIC HEAT. WTF LADY.

Also, for that kind of money, you could buy a new bedspread every month with the difference in the electric bill!

ARGH.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1099 on: March 15, 2016, 10:23:52 AM »
Not directly about a relative, but about her house. :)

My husband's great-aunt built a house when she was in her early 60s: perfect retirement home on a lake, one-story, small, perfect for one person. Mostly solar-heated, it's got HUGE south-facing windows (facing the lake, too - gorgeous view), with thick curtains that you can use to cover the upper half ... so, you open them during the day in winter, and draw the curtains in summer. The house has electric heat and no AC, other than the huge windows. We rented it for 3 months last summer while building our house, and I can confirm that, as long as you close the drapes in summer, it's delightfully cool, and the heating bill was NEVER over 120$/month in winter, not for the past 20 years. Electric rates, for the record, have not gone up in any significant way between last winter and this winter.

She moved into a home recently (she's in her 90s at this point) and the house is now rented by a tenant, who I had a conversation with.

She complained about electric bills for heating during our (terribly mild, honestly) winter. 350$/month, she says (for the record: that's twice the electric/heating bill on my 3-story house...)! She never would have rented the house if she had known how much it would cost, she said!

Turns out: she refuses to open the drapes in the window because 'it will fade the bedspread. IF YOU DO NOT LET THE SUN IN YOU DO NOT GET SOLAR HEATING, AND THEN YOU PAY FOR ELECTRIC HEAT. WTF LADY.

Also, for that kind of money, you could buy a new bedspread every month with the difference in the electric bill!

ARGH.

That is maddening!  Tell her to buy a cheap sheet and put it over the bedspread.  BAM!  DONE!
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