Author Topic: Relatives who just don't get it  (Read 996939 times)

frugalparagon

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #100 on: April 10, 2015, 05:21:17 PM »
My mom called a week ago and invited us to Easter at her house with my immediate family. I respectfully declined due to my wife having to work every night this weekend and wanting to celebrate at home.

She got mad. "Easter is a family holiday. You have a beautiful baby and you should want to dress him up, take him out, and show him off!"

I bit my tongue but I wanted to say "That's why you're always broke. Trying to show off by dressing up in new clothes, shoes, purses, and buying dumb shit!" Basically, she thinks we should want to do what she always did.

I can't understand how people pay so much money to buy little baby outfits. They are just going to wear it once. My coworkers were cooing over a photo of one of their babies in an Easter tie. Ties are stupid in the first place. But what does your 4 month old need a tie for?
My mom called a week ago and invited us to Easter at her house with my immediate family. I respectfully declined due to my wife having to work every night this weekend and wanting to celebrate at home.

She got mad. "Easter is a family holiday. You have a beautiful baby and you should want to dress him up, take him out, and show him off!"

I bit my tongue but I wanted to say "That's why you're always broke. Trying to show off by dressing up in new clothes, shoes, purses, and buying dumb shit!" Basically, she thinks we should want to do what she always did.

I can't understand how people pay so much money to buy little baby outfits. They are just going to wear it once. My coworkers were cooing over a photo of one of their babies in an Easter tie. Ties are stupid in the first place. But what does your 4 month old need a tie for?

Well, yes, they are pretty stupid. But if you really want such a thing, you can get them pretty reasonably priced second-hand... since they only get worn once, they can last for several babies!
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #101 on: April 10, 2015, 08:50:01 PM »

I can't understand how people pay so much money to buy little baby outfits. They are just going to wear it once. My coworkers were cooing over a photo of one of their babies in an Easter tie. Ties are stupid in the first place. But what does your 4 month old need a tie for?

Management opportunities? To look impressive in front of the other babies? So the cufflinks don't seem over the top?
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forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #102 on: April 11, 2015, 10:08:54 AM »

I can't understand how people pay so much money to buy little baby outfits. They are just going to wear it once. My coworkers were cooing over a photo of one of their babies in an Easter tie. Ties are stupid in the first place. But what does your 4 month old need a tie for?

Management opportunities? To look impressive in front of the other babies? So the cufflinks don't seem over the top?

One friend dressed her baby in old man clothes. An old man hat, old man sweater. And he had a big, bald head and was kinda fat. He looked like a 70 year old man. Come to think of it, there are a lot of similarities between a baby and an old person. Need diapers, fall asleep all the time, complain about stuff a lot, you can't really understand what they are talking about, they have terrible memories, drooling, need adult supervision, no teeth, need liquid food, need to be pushed around in a wheeled seat,...

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #103 on: April 11, 2015, 07:07:12 PM »
I have some cousins who have spent thousands on tattoos.
I don't get it personally.

I think tattoos were once a symbol of non-conformity...in a conformist sort of way. Personally, I am not a fan of tattoos.

thurston howell iv

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #104 on: April 13, 2015, 12:46:44 PM »
You want stories? I have stories.

Sister: unemployed for past 6 months. Dad is paying the mtg on the house (it's his- he was renting it to her). She has cel phone bill of $275 a month for her and the 3 kids. (New phones- not the cheap old two or three year old models like I use).  Parents felt bad that she and the kids had to suffer watching an old 32" tube tv- so they bought her a flat screen (I didn't get a flat screen)... Kids have iphones, I think she has two ipads, one of the kids just got a new laptop. The list goes on and on. It's sickening.

Mom: Low wage earner. Likes to look fancy (does a great job with thrift store purchases) However, had a perfectly good hyundai but due to her workmates taking about high end cars decided that she needed one as well. She told me that she was going to the "dealer" to buy something. Now, my mom is hard headed and when she wants to do something there is no stopping her. I begged her to let me at least help her find something (I dabble in cars)... So, I asked her what she wanted and her budget. She wanted a BMW and her budget was $3k. (That she was pulling out of her IRA- Trust me I couldn't stop her- I tried!) She was completely clueless to the actual prices of things.

The other night she told me that she took my unemployed sister shopping for "dog clothes" - and my sister wanted to go back later because they had such good deals on F'n Dog Clothes!  I told her that she made my head hurt. :D

My sisters kids: Good kids but totally unmotivated. They want a car and money but don't want to work. My unemployed 18 year old nephew claims he needs at least $80- $100 to take his gf on dates (WTF?!?!)  I asked him where they go and it's usually dinner and a movie. For $100?  F'n insane!!

They actually stress me out everything I think about them. Hell, I talked to the 18 year old the other day on the phone and it made me feel annoyed, angry and sad all at the same time... I want to try to push them in the right direction but their role models aren't helping.


wordnerd

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #105 on: April 13, 2015, 07:13:35 PM »
My mom announced that it's impossible to live on $42,000 a year.

forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #106 on: April 13, 2015, 07:28:52 PM »
My mom announced that it's impossible to live on $42,000 a year.

That's true. It'd take me about 2 years.

Cinder

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #107 on: April 13, 2015, 07:35:42 PM »
My mom announced that it's impossible to live on $42,000 a year.

That's true. It'd take me about 2 years.

hahaha, +1 to you good sir!

Zamboni

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #108 on: April 14, 2015, 05:57:55 AM »
My mom announced that it's impossible to live on $42,000 a year.

That's true. It'd take me about 2 years.

Badumbum ding!

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #109 on: April 14, 2015, 11:07:20 AM »
Mom: Low wage earner. Likes to look fancy (does a great job with thrift store purchases) However, had a perfectly good hyundai but due to her workmates taking about high end cars decided that she needed one as well. She told me that she was going to the "dealer" to buy something. Now, my mom is hard headed and when she wants to do something there is no stopping her. I begged her to let me at least help her find something (I dabble in cars)... So, I asked her what she wanted and her budget. She wanted a BMW and her budget was $3k. (That she was pulling out of her IRA- Trust me I couldn't stop her- I tried!) She was completely clueless to the actual prices of things.


Your mother and my mother sound like they would be great friends.

My mother bought a house that she neither needed or could really afford because she needed to live closer to her boyfriend at the time. They both lived in the same city. She bought a house in the subdivision across the street and then they broke up shortly thereafter. She had to sell the house to her current boyfriend because she simply couldn't afford it without asking her mother all the time for money to pay the property taxes, let alone maintenance costs. She bought a new car at around the same time because she couldn't have something 'old' sitting in the driveway. The car she replaced was just three years old and this was a very upper lower class/lower middle class neighborhood. I don't know who she thought she was going to impress.

She has no plan for retirement and has about $80-90k of student debt. We thought she would be set for awhile with current, very long-term boyfriend. He is a good guy and not a complete idiot with money. He reigns in a lot of her financial stupidity, something us kids could never do. Unfortunately, he will probably not live much longer and then we don't know what will happen to her. My sister and BIL will take her in if necessary so she won't be out on the street, but she has no money saved, no assets, tons of debt, and not a lot of good working years left. It is a very bad situation.

infogoon

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #110 on: April 14, 2015, 11:35:18 AM »
My father is very stuck in the typical Baby Boomer mindset that says everyone should want a house in the suburbs with a couple of new cars in the driveway, and he keeps asking "when are you going to move out of the city?"

Well, as soon as moving out of the city would mean something besides tripling my property taxes as well as my commute. Instead, I think I'll just stay in the house I paid off 20 years early and keep investing the money I'd otherwise use keeping up with the neighbors. My generation doesn't have pensions to look forward to, you know?

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #111 on: April 14, 2015, 01:37:31 PM »

She has no plan for retirement and has about $80-90k of student debt. We thought she would be set for awhile with current, very long-term boyfriend. He is a good guy and not a complete idiot with money. He reigns in a lot of her financial stupidity, something us kids could never do. Unfortunately, he will probably not live much longer and then we don't know what will happen to her. My sister and BIL will take her in if necessary so she won't be out on the street, but she has no money saved, no assets, tons of debt, and not a lot of good working years left. It is a very bad situation.
My mom is not extravagant but all the same she's in the same boat. She decided to go to seminary in her early 60s, used up tens of thousands from her home sale and tens of thousands more from an inheritance, and then borrowed (I don't know, and I don't even really want to know, but maybe 100k) to finish her M-Div, and now does the odd teaching and preaching at the same institution that awarded it, which basically pays for gas and groceries. Last I heard she had a free apartment through April and no idea what she'd do next, and she's not very communicative these days - anxiety and depression, mostly. We three kids are at a loss.

It used to be that one of my big motivations for getting rich was to provide for her if/when she needed it. Now I just look back and shake my head over all of her squandered opportunities, and the looming burden of managing her care when she's destitute and ill. *sigh*

My father is very stuck in the typical Baby Boomer mindset that says everyone should want a house in the suburbs with a couple of new cars in the driveway, and he keeps asking "when are you going to move out of the city?"

Well, as soon as moving out of the city would mean something besides tripling my property taxes as well as my commute. Instead, I think I'll just stay in the house I paid off 20 years early and keep investing the money I'd otherwise use keeping up with the neighbors. My generation doesn't have pensions to look forward to, you know?

Ha! I guess your dad didn't get the memo... over the last decade-plus, urban blight became renewal and the exodus reversed course.
I just moved out of the suburbs and even with a slightly longer commute, I'm so much happier. I love having all my basic needs in walking distance, and I drive less overall.
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irishbear99

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #112 on: April 14, 2015, 02:40:19 PM »
She got mad. "Easter is a family holiday. You have a beautiful baby and you should want to dress him up, take him out, and show him off!"

I bit my tongue but I wanted to say "That's why you're always broke. Trying to show off by dressing up in new clothes, shoes, purses, and buying dumb shit!" Basically, she thinks we should want to do what she always did.

This gave me an ick, and not just from the financial side. He's a baby, not a doll. Dressing kids up and showing them off like possessions is, well, ick.

Kris

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #113 on: April 14, 2015, 05:36:25 PM »
She got mad. "Easter is a family holiday. You have a beautiful baby and you should want to dress him up, take him out, and show him off!"

I bit my tongue but I wanted to say "That's why you're always broke. Trying to show off by dressing up in new clothes, shoes, purses, and buying dumb shit!" Basically, she thinks we should want to do what she always did.

This gave me an ick, and not just from the financial side. He's a baby, not a doll. Dressing kids up and showing them off like possessions is, well, ick.

No kidding.  As someone who doesn't have kids myself, I think I'm doubly squicked out by this trend.  I have many FB friends with young children right now, and every birthday and major holiday brings a new flood of photos of them in reindeer ears, or a bunny costume, or... I dunno, I just see all this pointless money being spent just to get a photo that will be the carbon copy of the photos of every other kid that age that year, during that holiday.  Bleah. 
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Syonyk

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #114 on: April 14, 2015, 05:50:05 PM »
Well, you wouldn't want your kid to be seen on your Facebook feed in last year's styles, would you?

As my wife found out, "hot items" for kids rotate around a lot - monkeys, elephants, various other animals have been popular in various years, and then are suddenly dated so, of course, you have to go buy new baby outfits instead of using *last year's* stuff from a friend...

If you care.

My daughter is currently rocking some hand-decorated onesies that were made for her at the baby shower. :)  And since she doesn't yet care if she's in style or out of style, we don't either.
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Megma

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #115 on: April 14, 2015, 06:08:57 PM »
My mom, whom I dearly love but thankfully don't take after when it comes to $$, lives in a 5 bed/3bath house with my stepfather ONLY. They live in a low COL area, their house is valued around 500k, average house is around 200k max. It's not even half paid off, they up sized twice in the past ten years, this after I, their youngest child moved out.

Within the past few years they've inherited by my estimates over 250k, yet last year they borrowed 5k from me. I was supposed to be paid back within a month, now they're up to 17k and I cut them off. They also borrowed around 5k that I know about from my sister.

They had two brand new cars, at least 30k cars each and my stepfather had a 20k motorcycle. I insisted they sell the bike, none of these were paid for btw.

Mom is in her 50s and has no retirement savings, they withdrew all of it 10 years ago, paying a penalty and did who knows what with it. She does own a business and says she'll just sell that when she wants to retire...it's a small town..I've told her sh shouldn't count on being able to sell it since its a niche industry, who knows how long it would take to find a buyer. She also owes at least 200k on the businesses assets.

Thankfully I take after my dad when it comes to money. I'm pretty sure she'll be living with me someday.
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Kris

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #116 on: April 14, 2015, 07:20:18 PM »
Well, you wouldn't want your kid to be seen on your Facebook feed in last year's styles, would you?

As my wife found out, "hot items" for kids rotate around a lot - monkeys, elephants, various other animals have been popular in various years, and then are suddenly dated so, of course, you have to go buy new baby outfits instead of using *last year's* stuff from a friend...

If you care.

My daughter is currently rocking some hand-decorated onesies that were made for her at the baby shower. :)  And since she doesn't yet care if she's in style or out of style, we don't either.

And then, related to that, are the PET costumes. SMDH...
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #117 on: April 15, 2015, 07:28:09 AM »
Well, you wouldn't want your kid to be seen on your Facebook feed in last year's styles, would you?

As my wife found out, "hot items" for kids rotate around a lot - monkeys, elephants, various other animals have been popular in various years, and then are suddenly dated so, of course, you have to go buy new baby outfits instead of using *last year's* stuff from a friend...

If you care.

My daughter is currently rocking some hand-decorated onesies that were made for her at the baby shower. :)  And since she doesn't yet care if she's in style or out of style, we don't either.

And then, related to that, are the PET costumes. SMDH...

When I look at how much money I wasted on my own Halloween costumes back in college, it's much harder to judge the people who get them for their dogs. I'd never do it myself, but some of them are admittedly hilarious.

People who dress up their pets when it's not Halloween... Well, I guess I'm a fan of that too, if only because it's a quick, easy way to determine that I never have to take their advice seriously or consider dating them. Efficiency!

Kris

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #118 on: April 15, 2015, 07:44:25 AM »
Well, you wouldn't want your kid to be seen on your Facebook feed in last year's styles, would you?

As my wife found out, "hot items" for kids rotate around a lot - monkeys, elephants, various other animals have been popular in various years, and then are suddenly dated so, of course, you have to go buy new baby outfits instead of using *last year's* stuff from a friend...

If you care.

My daughter is currently rocking some hand-decorated onesies that were made for her at the baby shower. :)  And since she doesn't yet care if she's in style or out of style, we don't either.

And then, related to that, are the PET costumes. SMDH...

When I look at how much money I wasted on my own Halloween costumes back in college, it's much harder to judge the people who get them for their dogs. I'd never do it myself, but some of them are admittedly hilarious.

People who dress up their pets when it's not Halloween... Well, I guess I'm a fan of that too, if only because it's a quick, easy way to determine that I never have to take their advice seriously or consider dating them. Efficiency!

Lol -- yeah, lots of blatant Spendypants activity has that advantage!
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merula

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #119 on: April 15, 2015, 08:42:46 AM »
She got mad. "Easter is a family holiday. You have a beautiful baby and you should want to dress him up, take him out, and show him off!"

I bit my tongue but I wanted to say "That's why you're always broke. Trying to show off by dressing up in new clothes, shoes, purses, and buying dumb shit!" Basically, she thinks we should want to do what she always did.

This gave me an ick, and not just from the financial side. He's a baby, not a doll. Dressing kids up and showing them off like possessions is, well, ick.

No kidding.  As someone who doesn't have kids myself, I think I'm doubly squicked out by this trend.  I have many FB friends with young children right now, and every birthday and major holiday brings a new flood of photos of them in reindeer ears, or a bunny costume, or... I dunno, I just see all this pointless money being spent just to get a photo that will be the carbon copy of the photos of every other kid that age that year, during that holiday.  Bleah. 

Just want to pipe in that it's totally possible to dress kids up for practically nothing. I get more clothes as gifts than my kids can ever possibly use, and nothing I've said has been able to stop the flood. (Clothes at least are practical; asking for clothes means I don't get cheap plastic crap, a menagerie of stuffed animals and a case of silly string.)

I have taken photos of both my kids in a turkey leg headband (won in a game of "turkey bowling" that was free at the local college), bunny ears (got 5ish years ago when my aunt hosted Easter and passed them out to everyone), and a pair of Santa pajamas (bought for $2 on clearance at an outlet mall in May). Was that $2 I didn't have to spend? Well, yeah. But I still consider it well spent.

druth

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #120 on: April 15, 2015, 09:18:34 AM »
A couple new ones...

Boyfriend's brother had his car totaled.  Oh noes!  Their other car also broke down around this time, and of course they had no emergency fund.  Well his wife needs a car to get to work, she works at different sites all the time, and travels to places all over the state.  He works downtown, about a 20 min bus ride from work, and pays to park every day.  So what do you do?  Lease a new Nissan Altima of course!  never mind their combined income is less than 45k, and that he is still in school and working part time.

This comes on the heels of the other siblings who also work downtown(and make much more money and aren't still in school) trying to explain to him why driving to work downtown is a horrible and expensive idea.  "But I like having the freedom" he says!

We also offered to lend them one of ours(since I almost never drive anyways) until they could put money aside and they just brushed it off.  It's much more fun to spend a bunch of money than drive a '99 Honda.

Second story:

I'm looking at houses, trying to keep under 160k.  I have been looking with my mom.  She is an electrician and is very helpful to have along to point out problems I wouldn't notice.  On the other hand she has been very open with her opinion that we need to spend more.  "You[me and boyfriend] make almost what we[my parents] make and I would never live in any of these houses.  You can afford it so don't be too cheap about it."  Maybe you wouldn't live there, but we don't need a big house, or perfectly finished everything.
« Last Edit: April 20, 2015, 07:02:38 AM by druth »

zephyr911

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #121 on: April 15, 2015, 10:04:42 AM »
My cousin who recently finished college and spent a few months as a substitute teacher finally landed her first full-time gig. Next step? Finance a brand-new car. I attempted a gentle facepunch but was basically told not to be such a killjoy. Oh well.
At least she still lives with parents so I doubt it's a strain on her income... but I could be a billionaire and I'd still buy used on general principle.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #122 on: April 15, 2015, 11:06:11 AM »

I can't understand how people pay so much money to buy little baby outfits. They are just going to wear it once. My coworkers were cooing over a photo of one of their babies in an Easter tie. Ties are stupid in the first place. But what does your 4 month old need a tie for?

Management opportunities? To look impressive in front of the other babies? So the cufflinks don't seem over the top?

Every single one of those made me laugh.  :)

zephyr911

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #123 on: April 15, 2015, 11:09:13 AM »
I pinged my mom last night because her free housing expires in a couple of weeks and she herself describes her current income as "tiny". She can't afford her own place in her city.
I wanted to know if we (or anyone) might need to help her in the near future. She thanked me for my concern and admitted the situation was stressful but didn't really answer. I'm still worried. :(
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forummm

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #124 on: April 15, 2015, 05:50:45 PM »
A relative was offered a new phone plan. It would save them $50 per month and give them upgraded phones. But he would have had to mail in his old phone (after getting the new one), so he didn't do it because it was too much hassle to drop it in the mailbox. $600 for 5 minutes of effort is about $7,200 per hour.

And he's unemployed, so the opportunity cost on his time is pretty low.

merula

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #125 on: April 16, 2015, 07:52:06 AM »
This is relatively minor, but is a symptom of a pattern with my in-laws.

Over the weekend, we took our bike ride to the grocery store with kids in a long time (the youngest just turned one, it was his first "real" ride). We ran into my in-laws there; they were buying a baguette. I mentioned that we much prefer the bread at the bakery that's a half mile from their house.

Response: "Oh, we went there first, but the line was too long."

Background: the bakery is tiny, and is always packed on weekend mornings. They staff it adequately; two people working each of the three registers, but the inside will maybe only fit 15 people standing in line. So there could be a line 10 deep out the door and that'll still be a 10 minute wait max.

So, my in-laws walked a half mile, decided the 10 minute line was too long, walked back, got in the car to drive 10 minutes to the grocery store, spent 10 minutes shopping (because you can't just get in and out like you could at the bakery), and drove 10 minutes back.

At least they walked to the bakery. Honestly, that's a major improvement.

pbkmaine

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Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #126 on: April 16, 2015, 08:08:46 AM »
LOL


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thurston howell iv

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #127 on: April 16, 2015, 09:05:17 AM »
As I was reading this I was thinking about all the crazy moms. (mine included)

I recalled going to see her and my father a year or two ago. I drove down in my 17 year old Honda. She was visually dismayed. She was upset that I had an old beater. She exclaimed "you and your wife are professionals, you should have nicer cars - like BMW's or Mercedes"  She went on to say "You used to have nicer cars when you were poor" . Umm. Yeah mom, that's why I was poor. LOL (And I'm still poor, paying of debt and stupid mistakes...)  Even after I explain all of this she still doesn't get it. Worried about what other people will think.

greenmimama

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #128 on: April 16, 2015, 09:20:05 AM »
As I was reading this I was thinking about all the crazy moms. (mine included)

I recalled going to see her and my father a year or two ago. I drove down in my 17 year old Honda. She was visually dismayed. She was upset that I had an old beater. She exclaimed "you and your wife are professionals, you should have nicer cars - like BMW's or Mercedes"  She went on to say "You used to have nicer cars when you were poor" . Umm. Yeah mom, that's why I was poor. LOL (And I'm still poor, paying of debt and stupid mistakes...)  Even after I explain all of this she still doesn't get it. Worried about what other people will think.

We get that too, I am positive we make more than allllll of our friends but we have the oldest van :) I don't care, I love it and I love the no payments, and I like the financial sense it makes.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #129 on: April 16, 2015, 12:16:22 PM »
Sister-in-law

She has a heart of gold and means well (still hate me) but makes very poor financial decisions. She makes decent money working from home for a large car insurance agency. For the past 10 years she has lived rent free in father-in-law's dilapidated house until it was finally foreclosed on and she was kicked out. 10 years rent free would be plenty of time to save up for a decent down payment, right? Nope, she had nothing. So she rented a very small trailer that is in worse shape than the house. Now, you may be asking what could be spending her money on?
1st - pot, and lots of it
2nd - for some reason she decided to marry a 22 year old toddler. He was making good money as a driver until a diabetes diagnosis. He was uninsured so this was very costly. Then she decided to send him to an expensive, private trade school half way across the state. He was eligible for the Pell Grant, which did cover most of his tuition and room and board. But she still insisted on sending  1-2k a month to him so he could be "comfortable" and finish said school. Well, he graduated almost a year ago and still hasn't found a job yet and is still living over there on her dime doing whatever a 22 year old without any major responsibilities does.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #130 on: April 16, 2015, 12:49:46 PM »
...doing whatever a 22 year old without any major responsibilities does.

"See #1"?
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iamlittlehedgehog

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #131 on: April 16, 2015, 01:10:39 PM »
...doing whatever a 22 year old without any major responsibilities does.

"See #1"?


Excellent point.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #132 on: April 16, 2015, 06:58:38 PM »
Today morning my wife mentions that the lady had already bought jewelry worth $1600 anticipating tax refund.
But...I thought they owed the IRS $1k+?
They didn't know that till yesterday evening. The lady bought the jewelry few days ago. Yesterday, I definitely ruined their evening.
MBK you are such a buzzkill
OMG this totally thread has me shaking my head, laughing, and crying all at the same time.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #133 on: April 17, 2015, 12:05:53 AM »
...doing whatever a 22 year old without any major responsibilities does.

"See #1"?


Excellent point.

How expensive is that stuff anyway? I thought hippies had no money because they dropped out of the mainstream economy. If they don't have any money, how can they afford to be stereotypically "high" all the time?
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #134 on: April 17, 2015, 06:44:00 AM »
Rummage sale season is upon our neighborhood.  SIL had "some" of her maternity clothes she wanted to get rid of (she just had their final offspring in September, no more babies for them).  She brought over more clothes than I currently own (and perhaps have EVER owned in my entire life??).  Everything was brand name, from stores I wouldn't dream of stepping into (not judging, I just have zero interest in "fashion" or spending my money that way).  Granted, some or all may have been given to her, but I highly doubt it based on her other habits.  Mine and hub's first thoughts were to imagine what her closet of non-maternity clothes looks like...as she would have only worn these clothes for a year at most (two pregnancies).

Everything is marked AT LEAST $5 for tops (tank tops ~$2), up to $20 for pants/jeans.  For (very obviously) USED clothes.  At a rummage sale.  In a day, a grand total of $5 worth of her clothes sold (while the rest of the stuff everyone else has for sale is pretty much gone). And she won't drop the prices.

I just purchased what I think will be my entire maternity wardrobe (SIL are not even close to the same size) brand new for $250 (includes pants/jeans/shorts/tops/tanks/bras).  Unmustachian, but we can easily afford it.  SIL, however, constantly complains about having to work, not having time to do anything she wants to because of work, etc.  We probably make double what they make in income, but spend about half what they do.  And they wonder how we manage to have our shit together financially....

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #135 on: April 17, 2015, 07:48:54 AM »
...doing whatever a 22 year old without any major responsibilities does.

"See #1"?


Excellent point.

How expensive is that stuff anyway? I thought hippies had no money because they dropped out of the mainstream economy. If they don't have any money, how can they afford to be stereotypically "high" all the time?

Expensive to buy, cheap to grow?

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #136 on: April 17, 2015, 07:55:26 AM »
Rummage sale season is upon our neighborhood.  SIL had "some" of her maternity clothes she wanted to get rid of (she just had their final offspring in September, no more babies for them).  She brought over more clothes than I currently own (and perhaps have EVER owned in my entire life??).  Everything was brand name, from stores I wouldn't dream of stepping into (not judging, I just have zero interest in "fashion" or spending my money that way).  Granted, some or all may have been given to her, but I highly doubt it based on her other habits.  Mine and hub's first thoughts were to imagine what her closet of non-maternity clothes looks like...as she would have only worn these clothes for a year at most (two pregnancies).

Everything is marked AT LEAST $5 for tops (tank tops ~$2), up to $20 for pants/jeans.  For (very obviously) USED clothes.  At a rummage sale.  In a day, a grand total of $5 worth of her clothes sold (while the rest of the stuff everyone else has for sale is pretty much gone). And she won't drop the prices.

I just purchased what I think will be my entire maternity wardrobe (SIL are not even close to the same size) brand new for $250 (includes pants/jeans/shorts/tops/tanks/bras).  Unmustachian, but we can easily afford it.  SIL, however, constantly complains about having to work, not having time to do anything she wants to because of work, etc.  We probably make double what they make in income, but spend about half what they do.  And they wonder how we manage to have our shit together financially....

This isn't really on topic, but --perhaps your SIL would have better luck at a consignment shop. It won't help with her habits, but she might be able to recoup some of the costs. Or she could donate and claim a tax deduction. She might do just as well that way. Frankly I cannot be bothered to go to the trouble of having a yard sale when you can reasonably recoup yard sale appropriate prices by claiming a deduction, especially when donating nice and gently used things.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #137 on: April 17, 2015, 08:09:28 AM »
...doing whatever a 22 year old without any major responsibilities does.

"See #1"?


Excellent point.

How expensive is that stuff anyway? I thought hippies had no money because they dropped out of the mainstream economy. If they don't have any money, how can they afford to be stereotypically "high" all the time?

Expensive to buy, cheap to grow?

Not user anymore, and when I was I wasn't a regular user--maybe 1-2 times a year in a place where it is legal-ish, for a total of 5-7 times in my life. So I'm probably not the best guy to answer, but I'll try anyways: My friend gets it, (about 2-4 grams I think? Not sure on the amount, but I've seen it in person) and it costs her $40. That amount would last me personally about 3-6 months if I were to partake about 5 times a month. Now, it should be noted that I never saw the need for more than one to three hits, any more and it really would get me paranoid and jumpy. I assume someone like the person referenced here would have about double my monthly total in a day, and do it every day. I've seen people like that. So, for a guy like me, about $6 to $15 dollars a month. For someone like the above SIL, about $65 to $150 a month.

All guesses though, as I've never actually partaked more than 4 times in a single year, and never more than 3 times in a month.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #138 on: April 17, 2015, 01:55:35 PM »
Rummage sale season is upon our neighborhood.  SIL had "some" of her maternity clothes she wanted to get rid of (she just had their final offspring in September, no more babies for them).  She brought over more clothes than I currently own (and perhaps have EVER owned in my entire life??).  Everything was brand name, from stores I wouldn't dream of stepping into (not judging, I just have zero interest in "fashion" or spending my money that way).  Granted, some or all may have been given to her, but I highly doubt it based on her other habits.  Mine and hub's first thoughts were to imagine what her closet of non-maternity clothes looks like...as she would have only worn these clothes for a year at most (two pregnancies).

Everything is marked AT LEAST $5 for tops (tank tops ~$2), up to $20 for pants/jeans.  For (very obviously) USED clothes.  At a rummage sale.  In a day, a grand total of $5 worth of her clothes sold (while the rest of the stuff everyone else has for sale is pretty much gone). And she won't drop the prices.

I just purchased what I think will be my entire maternity wardrobe (SIL are not even close to the same size) brand new for $250 (includes pants/jeans/shorts/tops/tanks/bras).  Unmustachian, but we can easily afford it.  SIL, however, constantly complains about having to work, not having time to do anything she wants to because of work, etc.  We probably make double what they make in income, but spend about half what they do.  And they wonder how we manage to have our shit together financially....

This isn't really on topic, but --perhaps your SIL would have better luck at a consignment shop. It won't help with her habits, but she might be able to recoup some of the costs. Or she could donate and claim a tax deduction. She might do just as well that way. Frankly I cannot be bothered to go to the trouble of having a yard sale when you can reasonably recoup yard sale appropriate prices by claiming a deduction, especially when donating nice and gently used things.

Seems reasonable, I agree.  But she doesn't have the TIME. :) For further examples of laziness/"lack of time," they also brought over a fancy baby swing that was apparently $250 new a few years ago, and they want $175 firm for it, "because we could easily get $200 for it on Ebay."  Ummm, so do that??  Nobody wants to spend that much on an old model, used baby swing at a garage sale.

My hubs doesn't work (yay FIRE!), and I think he was looking for an excuse to hang out in the garage and socialize with randos for a couple days.  So we put a few things out, and the inlaws brought their truckloads of junk over, and promptly left.   I personally can't stand the time-suck of garage sales either, but he's enjoying himself :)

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #139 on: April 17, 2015, 04:34:24 PM »
Seems reasonable, I agree.  But she doesn't have the TIME. :) For further examples of laziness/"lack of time," they also brought over a fancy baby swing that was apparently $250 new a few years ago, and they want $175 firm for it, "because we could easily get $200 for it on Ebay."  Ummm, so do that??  Nobody wants to spend that much on an old model, used baby swing at a garage sale.
Yeah most people have a very vivid imagination when to comes to the price of their used goods.

"We bought this house for 150k 10 years ago and put 50k to redo the kitchen, so it is worth at least 200k plus inflation!"

 

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #140 on: April 17, 2015, 04:44:10 PM »
Um.

No.

$150k 10 years ago, plus a $50k kitchen, means it's worth at LEAST half a million.  Maybe closer to $750k.  Housing is a great investment that never goes down in value, you know.  There's only so much land on the planet!

:p
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #141 on: April 19, 2015, 05:55:30 AM »
A relative was offered a new phone plan. It would save them $50 per month and give them upgraded phones. But he would have had to mail in his old phone (after getting the new one), so he didn't do it because it was too much hassle to drop it in the mailbox. $600 for 5 minutes of effort is about $7,200 per hour.

And he's unemployed, so the opportunity cost on his time is pretty low.

My SIL had a free ride to a Local community college because she was a single mom (her mom was actually caring for the kid because she was incompetent).   All she had to do was sign a form and mail/turn it in.   That was to much work for her...


She later went back to school, racked up debt for a medical billing and coding degree, and was fired from her first job after a few months. 


Her whole life has been a combination of less than optimal decisions.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #142 on: April 19, 2015, 08:18:38 AM »
Today morning my wife mentions that the lady had already bought jewelry worth $1600 anticipating tax refund.
But...I thought they owed the IRS $1k+?
They didn't know that till yesterday evening. The lady bought the jewelry few days ago. Yesterday, I definitely ruined their evening.
Another update on my neighbours. The seller loan on the jewelry was due last month. So the lady took out cash from her credit card and cleared it. More balance with high APR :(
Fast forward to yesterday, they informed me that they got a refund of $250. They got there by inflating the repair/maintenance expenses on the car used for Uber driving. They don't have any documentation and if audited will be in trouble. However with the IRS budget cuts, my guess is that the probability of auditing is low. They are happy that they don't have to pay IRS $1k, but are forgetting that they wasted $1.6k unnecessarily.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #143 on: April 19, 2015, 09:26:28 AM »
...doing whatever a 22 year old without any major responsibilities does.

"See #1"?


Excellent point.

How expensive is that stuff anyway? I thought hippies had no money because they dropped out of the mainstream economy. If they don't have any money, how can they afford to be stereotypically "high" all the time?

Pot's not really a hippy thing anymore (aren't most hippies into their 60s at this point?). 

It is, and has been for a long time, a 'people in their late teens to mid 20s who don't know what to do with themselves' thing.  And some older people who seem to function just fine on it.

iamlittlehedgehog

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #144 on: April 19, 2015, 03:40:23 PM »
...doing whatever a 22 year old without any major responsibilities does.

"See #1"?


Excellent point.


How expensive is that stuff anyway? I thought hippies had no money because they dropped out of the mainstream economy. If they don't have any money, how can they afford to be stereotypically "high" all the time?

Pot's not really a hippy thing anymore (aren't most hippies into their 60s at this point?). 

It is, and has been for a long time, a 'people in their late teens to mid 20s who don't know what to do with themselves' thing.  And some older people who seem to function just fine on it.


Let me put it this way. You know film that appears on walls when someone smokes inside the house? They buy enough you can take your finger and draw stick figures. I still smoke on occasion, issue is in our state it is still illegal, even medical, so very expensive. On the upside he has returned this week and started working at the local Wally World so they are *hopefully* getting their financial matters in order.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #145 on: April 19, 2015, 06:50:17 PM »
...doing whatever a 22 year old without any major responsibilities does.

"See #1"?


Excellent point.

How expensive is that stuff anyway? I thought hippies had no money because they dropped out of the mainstream economy. If they don't have any money, how can they afford to be stereotypically "high" all the time?

Expensive to buy, cheap to grow?

Not user anymore, and when I was I wasn't a regular user--maybe 1-2 times a year in a place where it is legal-ish, for a total of 5-7 times in my life. So I'm probably not the best guy to answer, but I'll try anyways: My friend gets it, (about 2-4 grams I think? Not sure on the amount, but I've seen it in person) and it costs her $40. That amount would last me personally about 3-6 months if I were to partake about 5 times a month. Now, it should be noted that I never saw the need for more than one to three hits, any more and it really would get me paranoid and jumpy. I assume someone like the person referenced here would have about double my monthly total in a day, and do it every day. I've seen people like that. So, for a guy like me, about $6 to $15 dollars a month. For someone like the above SIL, about $65 to $150 a month.

All guesses though, as I've never actually partaked more than 4 times in a single year, and never more than 3 times in a month.

I consulted my weed costs authority for you and apparently "good stuff" (ie what middle aged people who still smoke would get, not high school kids) is $60 for an 1/8 ounce (3.5 grams). That's about 3 joints depending on how you roll them (with tobacco and how much, etc). Prices go down if you buy in bulk, like you know Costco style, or buy the shitty stuff.
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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #146 on: April 19, 2015, 07:20:01 PM »
It's organic!!!!   :  )   ENJOY!!!!!  :  )

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #147 on: April 21, 2015, 02:02:16 PM »
In-laws.  2 years since getting engaged, I think I'm finally figuring out how to respond to them.  Last year, they had a $350 inspection fee for their insurance to cover fixing ice dams that led to water damage in several rooms in their house.  They didn't have the cash to cover it, partly because they had recently helped my now DH in a major way, so we had been paying them back over 4-5 months.  Well when they needed that money suddenly we just took the rest of what we owed out of savings and sent a check to them.  I thought the lack of money was due to having recently helped DH by a fairly large amount of money.

Apparently not.

They usually get a $1,000-$1,500 refund from the IRS every year.  This year they owe $2,000.  They won't tell DH, or really me, about their tax situation to explain this sudden large change.  My only guess is that all the overtime my FIL worked last year changed the number of "correct" allowances to claim so they under-withheld.  Do they have any savings to cover this?  NONE.  FIL has been working overtime every day of the week to get enough money to pay.  MIL is going to have surgery soon, is not currently working like she usually does, and will need to pay for whatever health insurance doesn't cover.  They have no money saved for this.  They are empty nesters and might be in a worse situation now than when their kids were home.  At first this angered and frustrated me, then I moved to worry, and now I shake my head and try to let it go.  This is just how they are, and I don't know that they, especially my MIL, actually want to change.  So now I keep my nose out of it.  But really, not even $2,000 in savings?!?  And they already have a 401k loan out for previously mentioned DH expenses.  Which we promptly paid them back for, but most of that money went towards the inspection and redoing some rooms.  Because obviously when you repaint due to water damage that's your opportunity do redo your decor.

I nod and try to look sympathetic.  But DH says that what I'm thinking tends to show up on my face, so idk how well I'm pulling this off.  We're going to see them in a few weeks.  I should start practicing...

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #148 on: April 22, 2015, 08:24:26 AM »
But really, not even $2,000 in savings?!? 

I would bet most people don't have that much. I "lent" my brother $4000 last year to keep him out of jail after he made a series of truly stupid decisions (none unsafe to him or others -- he ignored parking tickets until arrested and then needed bond). If he had gone to jail, he would have lost his job and had an even harder time staying solvent. I told a couple of friends about this and when I said "Really? Who doesn't have $4000?" I got blank stares from my friends, who are a college professor and a well-paid landscape architect.

It's amazing to me that people with professional jobs hardly keep any buffer in savings. What happens when you need cash immediately for your furnace or air conditioner? Or some real emergency, like, say, staying out of jail? And in cases like my brother, if I hadn't been able to give him the money, he would have quickly fallen into a much deeper hole. Now, he is still struggling (and of course the $4000 went to pay for lawyers), but he has been promoted at work and gotten a raise. He needs to support his girlfriend right now due to her issues, so I don't know if I'll ever get paid back. But at least I helped prevent a disaster.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #149 on: April 22, 2015, 09:36:35 AM »

I consulted my weed costs authority for you and apparently "good stuff" (ie what middle aged people who still smoke would get, not high school kids) is $60 for an 1/8 ounce (3.5 grams). That's about 3 joints depending on how you roll them (with tobacco and how much, etc). Prices go down if you buy in bulk, like you know Costco style, or buy the shitty stuff.

Price varies by where you are and who you know, and of course, what quality you are buying. For an eighth to be 3 joints, they must be some massive joints. I know some heavy smokers with high tolerance and they say that a good quality eight that they buy for $50 lasts them an entire week. For them, that means that they are smoking multiple bowls each night after work. Rolling joints in their experience is a complete waste of money. Instead they recommend getting a one-hitter or packing a small bowl. The only times that they pack a full bowl is if they are toking with friends and are going to be passing it around.

That said, the future of weed is going to be wax and oil concentrates. I know a few people that will buy a gram of wax for maybe $40-50, and it can last them a month, in which they are getting a pretty good high each month. This reduces their cost significantly and as they use a vape pen, it is easier on their throat.