Arrrgh some people just don't help themselves...
So, long story short, my friend married a lady, and just before she could legally start working in this country, she got severely ill and is now disabled. Clearly: epic suck. No fault of theirs, obv, and it sucks. Much sympathy.
A week ago, they posted to Facebook that she had been refused for disability payments due to a burocratic thing (double plus suck, massive sympathy) and so her wife has been looking for a second job to support the the two of them and their kid (she works hard but isn't super well-paid, and 3 people on a ish salary sucks).
Which is to say: they're in a shitty situation and it's not their fault and it sucks and I sympathize.
However, since then, Facebook gems have included:
- tickets to a (big, 50$/ticket minimum) concert!
- "I just got a free upgrade in my phone so I got a new iPhone!"
And like... I have sympathy? But good lord, if you're 3 people on one income, and you MUST have a smartphone, use your old one, stretch it out until it actually dies, get a pay-as-you-go plan... like. Cmon. My friend is posting about how she needs to make an extra 300-400$/month to make ends meet... and getting an side job is totally an option! But like. So is being sensible about money! Turn down the heat at night, less AC in summer, no expensive smartphone plans, and JUST with that you're halfway there and can spend time with your wife and kiss instead of working a second job!
... I suggested turning down the heat at night last time I visited, when they were complaning about the power bill (they pay 2x what we do. I have a 3-story country house, they have a tiny 2-bedroom apartment. And we heat time hey height 20C during winter evenings, ok, we're not hardcore...) and they were like "oh, no, we couldn't do that, that's not normal"
And at this point I'm like... look. Ladies. I sympathize? But for crying out loud, could you TRY to help yourselves? I recognize that you're in a super shitty situation and it sucks, and it's hard, but it ain't gonna get easier by not trying.
And I feel shitty for judging other people's use of money but if you're posting the problem for all to see... and there isn't a tactful way to send links to, like, budgeting software and articles... so I vent here, so that I can mind my own damn business with anyone who knows them IRL.