Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 8925784 times)

js82

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21250 on: December 06, 2018, 07:34:14 PM »
So...can you just wander through everyone else's back garden? Can you link to a picture of what that looks like? I really don't think I can be imagining this right.
It's actually quite common in the USA. To the point where it took me a minute, and a glance at your location, to figure out what was so confusing for you. My house had neighbors maybe ten feet on either side, and no fences around anyone's yards until you got to the big house at the bottom of the hill. (Note that there were few if any windows facing each other on the sides of the houses.)

In practice, wandering through your neighbors' back yards is considered poor form. Depending on the neighbor and the neighborhood, you'd be looking at anything from dubious looks all the way to a shotgun barrel in your face!

However, it wasn't uncommon to see kids playing in the woods behind my yard (some of which was still my land).

It really depends on the neighborhood you live in.  When I was growing up in the 80's/90's, crossing through neighbors' yards on the way to friends' houses was a near-daily occurrence, and it definitely wasn't considered "poor form".  No one had any issue with it(*I assume my parents spoke with my neighbors whose yards we crossed about this), but it's definitely something that depends on the local culture/neighborhood you grow up in.  Keep in mind, this was in what might be termed a "low-density suburban" area where there were largish yards, virtually no crime, and the kids were predominantly the children of highly-educated professionals, and none of us ever caused any trouble when passing through neighbors' property.  Out neighborhood was also a residential cul-de-sac, such that the only people that went there were people that lived in that neighborhood.

This is definitely not reflective of the local culture everywhere in the United States, but it was in the town I grew up,

horsepoor

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21251 on: December 06, 2018, 08:02:57 PM »
Maybe it's a regional thing, because I live on the west coast, and almost all houses have fenced in back yards, from New Mexico to Washington.  There are two adjoining properties in my neighborhood that don't have a property line fence, out of hundreds that I pass on the regular dog walking route.

20957

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21252 on: December 06, 2018, 08:23:50 PM »
Thank you for the info on right-to-dry laws! My state is one and I never knew it. Last year when house-hunting we passed on one partly because of the covenants that include a clothesline ban. Lots of other specific restrictions, and in this case there had been about 7 lawsuits filed in a decade so I wasn't about to guess that they just wouldn't care about my choices. We bought a mile south instead.

dcheesi

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21253 on: December 07, 2018, 09:33:33 AM »
So...can you just wander through everyone else's back garden? Can you link to a picture of what that looks like? I really don't think I can be imagining this right.
It's actually quite common in the USA. To the point where it took me a minute, and a glance at your location, to figure out what was so confusing for you. My house had neighbors maybe ten feet on either side, and no fences around anyone's yards until you got to the big house at the bottom of the hill. (Note that there were few if any windows facing each other on the sides of the houses.)

In practice, wandering through your neighbors' back yards is considered poor form. Depending on the neighbor and the neighborhood, you'd be looking at anything from dubious looks all the way to a shotgun barrel in your face!

However, it wasn't uncommon to see kids playing in the woods behind my yard (some of which was still my land).

It really depends on the neighborhood you live in.  When I was growing up in the 80's/90's, crossing through neighbors' yards on the way to friends' houses was a near-daily occurrence, and it definitely wasn't considered "poor form".  No one had any issue with it(*I assume my parents spoke with my neighbors whose yards we crossed about this), but it's definitely something that depends on the local culture/neighborhood you grow up in.  Keep in mind, this was in what might be termed a "low-density suburban" area where there were largish yards, virtually no crime, and the kids were predominantly the children of highly-educated professionals, and none of us ever caused any trouble when passing through neighbors' property.  Out neighborhood was also a residential cul-de-sac, such that the only people that went there were people that lived in that neighborhood.

This is definitely not reflective of the local culture everywhere in the United States, but it was in the town I grew up,
I was thinking more about adults than children. Where I grew up we also had woods behind my house, which ran the whole length of the neighborhood, so that was the de facto kid-highway. I'm sure if we hadn't had that, we would have been cutting through back yards a lot more.

It's adults that are more likely to draw attention doing that, due to fear of crime etc. It really depends on the neighbors, though, and what security measures they may have in place. I never had a camera, and rarely noticed when the rear security light came on; it was only when I was in the basement with the rear-facing door that I truly noticed.

Another note for the non-USians is that houses here will typically have a deck or patio on the back if they have a significant back yard. Getting up onto those would be considered much more of an invasion of privacy than just running around in the yard.

letsdoit

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21254 on: December 07, 2018, 11:17:47 AM »
in the USA my friend and I (12 year olds) were cutting through the woods behind someone's house (150 yards behind their house and he fired a shotgun blast into the trees over our heads.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21255 on: December 07, 2018, 11:36:31 AM »
Wait? That happened to you? The same thing happened to me and a couple of friends when we were teens. We were nonchalantly cutting through someone's backyard (woodsy area) and the guy came out onto this back porch with a shotgun and threatened to shoot us. He was a scary man with a long grey beard and a flannel shirt.

I will never forget how damn mad he was at a couple of kids. Now that I think about it, maybe he was a tweaker.

in the USA my friend and I (12 year olds) were cutting through the woods behind someone's house (150 yards behind their house and he fired a shotgun blast into the trees over our heads.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21256 on: December 07, 2018, 12:15:42 PM »
So...can you just wander through everyone else's back garden? Can you link to a picture of what that looks like? I really don't think I can be imagining this right.

yes, you can wander through everyone's backyard.

I'll send you a google maps link, but I'm not going to post it here.  (Edit: nevermind, it says you've blocked my personal message.)

Many thanks to @i'm a red panda for reshaping my imagined view of suburban America. Suddenly a lot of things make sense.

dcheesi

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21257 on: December 07, 2018, 12:42:58 PM »
Wait? That happened to you? The same thing happened to me and a couple of friends when we were teens. We were nonchalantly cutting through someone's backyard (woodsy area) and the guy came out onto this back porch with a shotgun and threatened to shoot us. He was a scary man with a long grey beard and a flannel shirt.

I will never forget how damn mad he was at a couple of kids. Now that I think about it, maybe he was a tweaker.

in the USA my friend and I (12 year olds) were cutting through the woods behind someone's house (150 yards behind their house and he fired a shotgun blast into the trees over our heads.
This tends to happen in more rural areas, where houses are more spread out and people are used to their privacy. In Virginia, you'll see a lot of wooded areas with "POSTED: no trespassing" signs1 slapped on trees or actual posts. You're taking your life in your hands if you ignore those signs.

Could be a cranky old guy, a paranoid prepper, or someone with something to hide (moonshine still, pot plants, and/or, yes, the occasional meth lab these days). Gun ownership is also much higher in rural areas, and people use guns to fend off wildlife, so they're more accustomed to the idea of using them in defense of their property.

(1 the word "POSTED" is made prominent, apparently due to a quirky interpretation of the wording of Virginia's trespassing laws. I'm not sure it's actually necessary, but at this point it's the recognized standard for such signs.)
« Last Edit: December 07, 2018, 12:47:45 PM by dcheesi »

I'm a red panda

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21258 on: December 07, 2018, 01:04:45 PM »
So...can you just wander through everyone else's back garden? Can you link to a picture of what that looks like? I really don't think I can be imagining this right.

yes, you can wander through everyone's backyard.

I'll send you a google maps link, but I'm not going to post it here.  (Edit: nevermind, it says you've blocked my personal message.)

Many thanks to @i'm a red panda for reshaping my imagined view of suburban America. Suddenly a lot of things make sense.

I also sent you another link of a fully fenced suburb :)  Just because, it sure varies a lot!

Freedomin5

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21259 on: December 08, 2018, 07:44:18 AM »
Discussion with a coworker:

Coworker: I went out on the weekend with my friends. I was pretty frugal.
Me: Nice. Where did you go?
Coworker: To a club. Only spent $100.
Me: $100! On what?!
Coworker: On drinks. Like, 1-2 drinks. Thatís pretty cheap because we split the bill.
Me: Thatís pretty expensive for a drink.
Coworker: Well, at this club you purchase a table for the night. Itís usually around $2000 for a table. My friend works in the business and got us a 40% discount, so our table was only $1200. Thatís a really good deal.
Me: I suppose if you put it that way...

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21260 on: December 08, 2018, 11:38:17 AM »
I hope they visited the most exciting club on earth b/c at those prices... I'm visualizing the kind of clubs only seen in movies. $50 drinks... Wow. I feel funny when we go out to eat and pay $50 for all of us to eat and drink (non-alcoholic drinks).

RetiredAt63

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21261 on: December 08, 2018, 02:43:17 PM »
Wait? That happened to you? The same thing happened to me and a couple of friends when we were teens. We were nonchalantly cutting through someone's backyard (woodsy area) and the guy came out onto this back porch with a shotgun and threatened to shoot us. He was a scary man with a long grey beard and a flannel shirt.

I will never forget how damn mad he was at a couple of kids. Now that I think about it, maybe he was a tweaker.

in the USA my friend and I (12 year olds) were cutting through the woods behind someone's house (150 yards behind their house and he fired a shotgun blast into the trees over our heads.

What's a tweaker?  This word is not being used the way I would normally expect to see it used (a tweaker would be someone who tweaks something until it is right).

Steeze

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21262 on: December 08, 2018, 03:06:01 PM »
A tweaker is someone high on meth, or otherwise a meth addict.

For a good time, youtube "tweaker" for some good "best of" compilations.
« Last Edit: December 08, 2018, 03:08:11 PM by Steeze »

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21263 on: December 08, 2018, 03:08:04 PM »
Urban Dictionary describes a tweaker as someone who has maxxed out their meth induced high. High strung, paranoid, and can't sit still. Accord to UD they can have symptoms similar to OCD as well.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21264 on: December 08, 2018, 04:33:23 PM »
Urban Dictionary describes a tweaker as someone who has maxxed out their meth induced high. High strung, paranoid, and can't sit still. Accord to UD they can have symptoms similar to OCD as well.

Thanks.  Hadn't thought of that in relation to suburban/rural back yards.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21265 on: December 09, 2018, 03:26:17 PM »
This is kind of at work - I was at the company Christmas party and one of my coworkers was dressed in a heinous novelty 'ugly Christmas suit.'  Like, suit jacket, pants, and tie that was Christmas-themed.

I overheard my significant other talking to another party guest who said, "Yeah, I was going to get that suit, too."
SO: "What?! Where do you even get something like that?"
Party guest: "Amazon."
SO: "Wow, it looks like it fits him so well."
Party guest:  "He got it tailored. That's what I was going to do."

The suit is at least $100 and I don't know how much it costs to tailor a two piece suit that will probably never see the outside of the closet again. The coworker wearing said Christmas suit has complained about being in debt, from student loan and consumer debt (though I don't know the total figure). He drives to work in a sporty new car that, if I remember correctly, he wanted to get to go to race tracks (but he never has) and is being financed at well over $900/mo (he's been telling most people this... that this is why he "has to work overtime"), but he also owns 3-4 other cars, some of which don't work, and has to pay all the usual fees related to owning cars (insurance, etc.), but won't bother selling them and says it's "hard" because they're in his hometown at his mom's house nearly 400 miles away. He also bought the iPhone 10 when it came out (oops, I meant financed - he didn't pay for that in cash), along with those cordless ear buds and a fancy phone case and screen protector. He is on a Coachella payment plan for the second year in a row (he says it's a great idea because it's 0% interest), and also frequently goes to live concerts/festivals, almost every other week it seems. I hear a lot about him going out drinking a lot with other coworkers.  I rarely see him in the same clothes, because he is always getting new stuff at fast fashion stores like H&M, and other places I'm sure.  He has said he "can't afford to save for retirement," much less any money. We went to the same school, have the degree, have the same job, but have completely different priorities.  It just really astounds me. But this is the norm, I've noticed, for people my age.

Also, our company isn't really like a huge company that turns over loads and loads or profits or anything but does OK I guess, and a lot of people were dressed in really overly fancy attire that didn't really seem to suit their current lifestyle because most of them definitely don't dress that nice to work. I overheard they specifically got outfits and accessories for the event (which is something they do for every Christmas party, apparently). It was also supposed to be a masquerade-themed party, so more money was wasted on masks and things like that.  Lots of people were talking about how much they spent on dresses, shoes, etc. "The dress was only $150!" and "The shoes were only like $30, so it's like no big deal." And these were just the people who thought they got a great deal and wanted to talk, so I'm sure others spent more.  Also talking about they bought some other dresses last time from online shopping but didn't like it, and couldn't be bothered to return because you know, it's just $100, $150, or $200 here or there... but these are the same people who complain they "don't get paid that much" and act like they can't afford to have a nice meal, but then go eat out every day instead of packing their own lunch or go out all the time to concerts and bars. They were all headed out to a club afterward to, you know, pay cover fees and pay more for expensive cocktails.

In contrast, I was wearing a $7 Goodwill dress that I got specifically because I wanted to get something simple to re-wear that could be dressed up or down. Since I already the basic shoes and coat, I didn't 'need' to buy anything else. I just can't justify or fathom spending more that for one event. Nuts. Good to remind myself that it's OK not to be "normal" because "normal" is being in a constant state of debt, or not putting yourself first.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21266 on: December 09, 2018, 03:37:58 PM »
I saw a Verizon commercial this afternoon. In the fine text at the bottom of the screen it appears that getting an iPhone X will cost $1500 over the life of the contract. A quick check says that the retail cost is $1000. So $500 in interest??? Ouch.

Gronnie

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21267 on: December 09, 2018, 04:00:36 PM »
I saw a Verizon commercial this afternoon. In the fine text at the bottom of the screen it appears that getting an iPhone X will cost $1500 over the life of the contract. A quick check says that the retail cost is $1000. So $500 in interest??? Ouch.

No it's probably a model with more memory. The Verizon payment plans are interest free and the phone sells at retail price.

imadandylion

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21268 on: December 09, 2018, 04:26:25 PM »
I don't know the specifics, but he mentioned he always maximizes the memory on the phone so he doesn't have to worry about "running out of room."

Can't you get SD cards for android/google phones or something so you don't have to do this?

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21269 on: December 09, 2018, 06:46:41 PM »
I don't know the specifics, but he mentioned he always maximizes the memory on the phone so he doesn't have to worry about "running out of room."

Can't you get SD cards for android/google phones or something so you don't have to do this?
Most Android phones have a card slot, but many flagship (i.e. most expensive) models do not. No Apple phone has a card slot. If you want the extra 64GB, you'll pay the extra $200 to get it, rather than the $11 that size SD card costs.

Linda_Norway

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21270 on: December 10, 2018, 08:33:46 AM »
Today we had a Christmas lunch at a hotel, paid for by the company where I work. I joined the table with our female boss (leader of 35 people) and two male colleagues that I'm not very familair with, because they work at a different location.

Suddenly the conversation was about money, not initiaed by me. One of my male co-wokers asked us if we knew any really rich people. I had no idea whether or not he would count me as being very rich, but I guessed not, so I shut my mouth. I also didn't consider it a good ide to tell my boss about my networth. The guy himself said he knew one guy who was quite rich and lived in a very expensive house. He said this was the greatest cheapskate he knew. Then he bowed towards us and said that this was the way to become rich, being a cheapskate... I agreed with him. The other male co-worker said he new a guy who had made 9M USD on bitcoins by investing and selling at the right moment. I mentioned that this guy would't have to work anymore, with 9M on the bank. I don't even think you would have to invest in the stockmarket. Just a bank account with good interest will do. He told me the guy still worked.
The other male co-worker said he new a guy who had earned 2,2 M dollar on bitcoin. My boss concluded that after buying a 1M dollar house and 2 Tesla's, 2,2 M really won't last that long. I told here that in mine and her situation, both in our 40-ies, 2,2 M would suffice to stop working, as we have built up some pension that we can take up at the age of 67.

The youngest male co-worker said he made one big (expensive) parchase each month, since he can now afford it. I think he is in his first job. He has been looking at sofas and find quality sofas quite expensive. I told him that a lot of furniture is for sale second hand and that you can find good bargains. I mentioned our dining table and chairs as an example. My boss said that you would typically prefer to buy stuff new. I said you could vary between new and used and a second hand table can be washed.

My boss mentioned that she really wanted to become debt free in the future. I just nodded and didn't mention that I have been debt free for 10 years. Later she told me that she had fallen in love with a rug that cost 1.3K dollars and will buy it as soon as she can afford it. At her house they currently have a very cold floor. She cannot currently afford to buy the rug and does not want to buy a functional rug that is cheaper. She also needed to get paid soon, as she had no money left on her bank account or in her wallet, after doing Christmas shopping. I mentioned using a credit card and paying off next month.

One of the male co-workers made some joke about people being stressed when the car brakes down and you cannot afford the repair. I mentioned that it is a good habit to have an emergency fund for such occasions. My boss said that she borrows money from her dad in those cases. Her dad had offered that asking him for money was cheaper and faster than asking the bank. Apparently she does this regularly, but does pay him back. I mentioned that her 18 old children might learn that trick from her: when in financial trouble, ask the bank of mum and dad. But she thought that the children might not know about her borrowing emergency money from her dad. She doesn't mind doing this, because her parents have (almost) paid down there house, so asking them for money is not wrong.
One of her daughters wants to spend a year in New Zealand, sponsored buy mum and dad. Luckily my boss said no to that. She complained a lot about her children being very expensive. Two of the children are 18 and have a part time job and one is 14. The family had gone together with many to buy a new expensice iPhone for one of the children, because the child wanted one for Christmas.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2018, 09:03:59 AM by Linda_Norway »

I'm a red panda

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21271 on: December 10, 2018, 08:42:24 AM »
I don't know the specifics, but he mentioned he always maximizes the memory on the phone so he doesn't have to worry about "running out of room."

Can't you get SD cards for android/google phones or something so you don't have to do this?
Most Android phones have a card slot, but many flagship (i.e. most expensive) models do not. No Apple phone has a card slot. If you want the extra 64GB, you'll pay the extra $200 to get it, rather than the $11 that size SD card costs.

My current Android phone (super cheap Moto) has a card slot but is super picky about what can go on it.  So most of my apps actually can't go on the SD card, and neither can my photos.  I'm not quite sure I understand how that works.

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21272 on: December 10, 2018, 10:09:40 AM »
There are apps such as ES File Explorer that give you more control over the filesystem on your Android phone.

Allows easy access to most everything - especially the microSD card.

I try to store everything I can on the card so if the phone breaks I can simply slip the microSD card out and into another phone or into my computer (with SD card adapter) and access those files.

I'm not sure about Windows but Mint Linux makes this very , very easy to work with. Also, Android/Mint Linux allows my phone to connect via a charge cord and act like an external drive. There is a Linux program called KDE Connect that allows the phone and the computer to connect via the wi-fi network. It even functions at work.

I'm sure different Android phones have different abilities where this is concerned. I'm running an ASUS Zenfone 3.

DW (iPhone) and I (Android) both backup our phones to an NAS at home.

Cadman

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21273 on: December 10, 2018, 10:40:58 AM »
Wait? That happened to you? The same thing happened to me and a couple of friends when we were teens. We were nonchalantly cutting through someone's backyard (woodsy area) and the guy came out onto this back porch with a shotgun and threatened to shoot us. He was a scary man with a long grey beard and a flannel shirt.

I will never forget how damn mad he was at a couple of kids. Now that I think about it, maybe he was a tweaker.

in the USA my friend and I (12 year olds) were cutting through the woods behind someone's house (150 yards behind their house and he fired a shotgun blast into the trees over our heads.
This tends to happen in more rural areas, where houses are more spread out and people are used to their privacy. In Virginia, you'll see a lot of wooded areas with "POSTED: no trespassing" signs1 slapped on trees or actual posts. You're taking your life in your hands if you ignore those signs.

Could be a cranky old guy, a paranoid prepper, or someone with something to hide (moonshine still, pot plants, and/or, yes, the occasional meth lab these days). Gun ownership is also much higher in rural areas, and people use guns to fend off wildlife, so they're more accustomed to the idea of using them in defense of their property.

(1 the word "POSTED" is made prominent, apparently due to a quirky interpretation of the wording of Virginia's trespassing laws. I'm not sure it's actually necessary, but at this point it's the recognized standard for such signs.)

The counterpoint to this is that if you don't have POSTED signs everywhere, you'll end up with every Tom, Dick and Harry running around your property during hunting season "pleading ignorance".

dcheesi

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21274 on: December 10, 2018, 11:09:57 AM »
Wait? That happened to you? The same thing happened to me and a couple of friends when we were teens. We were nonchalantly cutting through someone's backyard (woodsy area) and the guy came out onto this back porch with a shotgun and threatened to shoot us. He was a scary man with a long grey beard and a flannel shirt.

I will never forget how damn mad he was at a couple of kids. Now that I think about it, maybe he was a tweaker.

in the USA my friend and I (12 year olds) were cutting through the woods behind someone's house (150 yards behind their house and he fired a shotgun blast into the trees over our heads.
This tends to happen in more rural areas, where houses are more spread out and people are used to their privacy. In Virginia, you'll see a lot of wooded areas with "POSTED: no trespassing" signs1 slapped on trees or actual posts. You're taking your life in your hands if you ignore those signs.

Could be a cranky old guy, a paranoid prepper, or someone with something to hide (moonshine still, pot plants, and/or, yes, the occasional meth lab these days). Gun ownership is also much higher in rural areas, and people use guns to fend off wildlife, so they're more accustomed to the idea of using them in defense of their property.

(1 the word "POSTED" is made prominent, apparently due to a quirky interpretation of the wording of Virginia's trespassing laws. I'm not sure it's actually necessary, but at this point it's the recognized standard for such signs.)

The counterpoint to this is that if you don't have POSTED signs everywhere, you'll end up with every Tom, Dick and Harry running around your property during hunting season "pleading ignorance".
TL;DR: Don't go in the woods in VA unless you want to get shot :D

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21275 on: December 10, 2018, 03:14:59 PM »
Wait? That happened to you? The same thing happened to me and a couple of friends when we were teens. We were nonchalantly cutting through someone's backyard (woodsy area) and the guy came out onto this back porch with a shotgun and threatened to shoot us. He was a scary man with a long grey beard and a flannel shirt.

I will never forget how damn mad he was at a couple of kids. Now that I think about it, maybe he was a tweaker.

in the USA my friend and I (12 year olds) were cutting through the woods behind someone's house (150 yards behind their house and he fired a shotgun blast into the trees over our heads.
This tends to happen in more rural areas, where houses are more spread out and people are used to their privacy. In Virginia, you'll see a lot of wooded areas with "POSTED: no trespassing" signs1 slapped on trees or actual posts. You're taking your life in your hands if you ignore those signs.

Could be a cranky old guy, a paranoid prepper, or someone with something to hide (moonshine still, pot plants, and/or, yes, the occasional meth lab these days). Gun ownership is also much higher in rural areas, and people use guns to fend off wildlife, so they're more accustomed to the idea of using them in defense of their property.

(1 the word "POSTED" is made prominent, apparently due to a quirky interpretation of the wording of Virginia's trespassing laws. I'm not sure it's actually necessary, but at this point it's the recognized standard for such signs.)

The counterpoint to this is that if you don't have POSTED signs everywhere, you'll end up with every Tom, Dick and Harry running around your property during hunting season "pleading ignorance".
TL;DR: Don't go in the woods in VA unless you want to get shot :D

Stay out of the forest.

Penn42

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21276 on: December 15, 2018, 01:39:36 PM »
I think it's funny how much people, even spendypants, love saving money.  One of my coworkers, who is a direct peer and under contract we have the same compensation (therefore we talk money somewhat openly), spends just about everything he makes.  He does contribute to his 401(k), but other than that it's new this/new that.  All stuff he already has or doesn't need, but he always buys used or on sale.  It could be worse, but it's weird to be so fixated on deals when it's all superfluous stuff anyway.

He recently booked a vacation with a travel agent and the agent "saved" him $400.  He knows I'm frugal and has lamented that he wishes he could save more.  Then he goes out to lunch or dinner many days. 

After a year of financial prowess soaking into my brain from this community's collective mustache this behavior seems weirder and weirder.

Linda_Norway

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21277 on: December 16, 2018, 09:33:05 AM »
One of my colleagues says that he and his wife are the "spend everything now" kind of people and seems proud of it. His 2 children are very different. His son is in the military and saves as much as he can. His daughter spends everything she earns. He is often despising his son in the lunch break and telling us that his daughter is more like her parents. Once he helped his daughter out economicaly, and then gave a similar amount of money to his son, because that was fair. Very good of him. But he told his son not to save the money up. The son was supposed to spend it on something he normally would not spend on. Co-worker despised the idea that his son would save the money received from his parents.

couponvan

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21278 on: December 16, 2018, 10:59:07 AM »
One of my colleagues says that he and his wife are the "spend everything now" kind of people and seems proud of it. His 2 children are very different. His son is in the military and saves as much as he can. His daughter spends everything she earns. He is often despising his son in the lunch break and telling us that his daughter is more like her parents. Once he helped his daughter out economicaly, and then gave a similar amount of money to his son, because that was fair. Very good of him. But he told his son not to save the money up. The son was supposed to spend it on something he normally would not spend on. Co-worker despised the idea that his son would save the money received from his parents.

My grandma did this for me on a trip in Europe-gave me a huge amount of money and said it was for a specific location in Portofino Italy and to spend it all one night. I remember that night so vividly all these years later. It was worth it. If they are giving a gift they want to, the person should accept it and use it. 

Cassie

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21279 on: December 16, 2018, 12:07:48 PM »
Yes if someone gives you a gift with a specific request I would honor it. Someone mentioned buying used furniture and thatís fine except I wouldnít buy any upholstered furniture because of bed bugs. They are extremely expensive and a pain to get rid of.

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21280 on: December 16, 2018, 12:11:54 PM »
Re: spending everything you make-  my frugal adult daughter was looking at real estate prices in my town online.  $1.9MM for a fancy pants house on the boulevard, she asked how people afford such a thing-- median home price here is only $200K.  She looked up the owner on the tax rolls and then found him on FB and she said he is a VP at a local hotel.  (Good snooper, my girl.)  I replied that most people spend everything they make to keep up an image and society expectations. 

I realized that if I spent everything I brought home, not even considering how much gets plowed into 401k and HSA, I could definitely afford that mortgage and also join the local country club to play golf every weekend and the fancy lease on a BMW.  Wouldn't I be looking good!  Maybe I would suddenly be attractive to the VP at a local hotel and a worthy date/mate for him. 

But the idea of my income going through my hands like sand every month makes me physically nauseous.  Really, I am queasy thinking about those payments and would learn to hate it all.   

I guess I will continue to be the nerd girl who saves 80% of her money and will retire next year at 50.  I will look for the nerdy guy who has his own money instead of the flashy VP.  Alone is better than flashy fakey.             

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21281 on: December 16, 2018, 02:21:43 PM »
I realized that if I spent everything I brought home, not even considering how much gets plowed into 401k and HSA, I could definitely afford that mortgage and also join the local country club to play golf every weekend and the fancy lease on a BMW.

There was a thread a while back about taking how much you save every month, and if you put that towards a luxury car, what could you afford?  If I do 6% interest on a 120-month loan (because yes people do that) of my 2018 monthly savings, and find my total loan amount, then sort the cars here by price:

https://www.jamesedition.com/cars?utf8=✓&order=price_desc

I could be driving some pretty nice Ferraris or high end Porches, or some damn sexy classic cars.  Tempting, but not really :-)  But if you ever see a really nice car and find yourself going 'damn I wish could afford that car', it's good to put things in perspective and go 'actually, i could be driving way nicer of a car than that, if I really wanted to'.

ysette9

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21282 on: December 16, 2018, 08:30:18 PM »
My husband and I were talking yesterday how now that we can afford so many things we didn’t used to be able to, our desire to buy things has gone way down. At least for me. He always was frugal and has few wants.

Slow&Steady

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21283 on: December 17, 2018, 07:19:22 AM »
There is a gentleman that is in the office next to me and rumor has spread that he will be leaving in December, and not to a new job.  He looks to me to be in his 50s, maybe early 50s.  I of course think this is an awesome sign of FIRE but am not sure because he is a very private guy. 

Most of my other coworkers are completely baffled by this.  I have heard that some of them even made fun of him when he started working here because he brings his lunch everyday and uses washable dishes to eat his lunch. 

I am dying to ask him if he is retiring early and give him a huge congrats but he is so private that I am pretty sure that would be too much for him.   
What've you got to lose?  I'd *love* to hear if he's secretly built up a stache.

His manager confirmed that he was retiring today during lunch, the speculation is that he is 57 (I think he looks closer to 50).  I believe his manager is older than him, managers statement was "Yes ___ is retiring at the end of the year, some people save money better than others".

Here is your script:

Slow&Steady: "Hello Co-worker X, congratulations on your retirement.  BTW, what is your mustache code-name?"
Co-Worker X: Either
A.) Puzzled look, scurries away without response.
or
B.) "I'm so glad you asked, my MMM forum handle is SuperSecretStealthMustachedNinja." And you have a new friend for life!

Apparently I am allowed to know this now, co-worker is retiring at 55!  I told him "Good job, I have heard a lot of people say you are lucky.  I know it isn't luck it was work, congrats!"

Pretty sure he is not on MMM, he is planning to use 72t but did not know that he is allowed to pull his Roth contributions (not earnings) without penalty.

WOW, I had to go back several pages to find this to quote. 

It seems that his last day will be either 12/28 or 12/31 and man are people snippy about him retiring at 55.  The company announced and congratulated retirees at the Christmas party and his name wasn't on the list, when I asked why I was told "He is NOT retiring, he is quitting.  He is not old enough to retire!"  I decided that I should not tell them that it is my goal to retire when my baby graduates high school, right around the time I will turn 55. 

faithless

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21284 on: December 17, 2018, 08:48:52 AM »
My husband and I were talking yesterday how now that we can afford so many things we didnít used to be able to, our desire to buy things has gone way down. At least for me. He always was frugal and has few wants.

Yep we've noticed this too. The more I can afford, the less I seem to want! I think it's the opposite of a scarcity mindset.
The only thing I'm spending more on now is travel, as I love it and find it worth it to me. Even there I'm keeping costs down, e.g. in an expensive European country, getting an Airbnb with a kitchenette so we've the option to cook/prepare breakfast/lunch/dinner ourselves, so we're not spending like 25 Euro each on dinner in a restaurant when we're not actually fussed about going out because we're tired. It also balances out splurging on a fancy dinner if we do want it!

Dabnasty

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21285 on: December 17, 2018, 09:44:44 AM »
There is a gentleman that is in the office next to me and rumor has spread that he will be leaving in December, and not to a new job.  He looks to me to be in his 50s, maybe early 50s.  I of course think this is an awesome sign of FIRE but am not sure because he is a very private guy. 

Most of my other coworkers are completely baffled by this.  I have heard that some of them even made fun of him when he started working here because he brings his lunch everyday and uses washable dishes to eat his lunch. 

I am dying to ask him if he is retiring early and give him a huge congrats but he is so private that I am pretty sure that would be too much for him.   
What've you got to lose?  I'd *love* to hear if he's secretly built up a stache.

His manager confirmed that he was retiring today during lunch, the speculation is that he is 57 (I think he looks closer to 50).  I believe his manager is older than him, managers statement was "Yes ___ is retiring at the end of the year, some people save money better than others".

Here is your script:

Slow&Steady: "Hello Co-worker X, congratulations on your retirement.  BTW, what is your mustache code-name?"
Co-Worker X: Either
A.) Puzzled look, scurries away without response.
or
B.) "I'm so glad you asked, my MMM forum handle is SuperSecretStealthMustachedNinja." And you have a new friend for life!

Apparently I am allowed to know this now, co-worker is retiring at 55!  I told him "Good job, I have heard a lot of people say you are lucky.  I know it isn't luck it was work, congrats!"

Pretty sure he is not on MMM, he is planning to use 72t but did not know that he is allowed to pull his Roth contributions (not earnings) without penalty.

WOW, I had to go back several pages to find this to quote. 

It seems that his last day will be either 12/28 or 12/31 and man are people snippy about him retiring at 55.  The company announced and congratulated retirees at the Christmas party and his name wasn't on the list, when I asked why I was told "He is NOT retiring, he is quitting.  He is not old enough to retire!"  I decided that I should not tell them that it is my goal to retire when my baby graduates high school, right around the time I will turn 55.

This is an interesting concept. I agree that it seems kinda shitty and people are probably reacting out of jealousy, but should there be an age limit to giving someone a "retirement" party? If someone was retiring at 35, should they get a party? I feel like that would be pretty weird.

And what if someone is quitting at 67 but only started with the company at 64?

Personally, I think throwing someone a party should be based on how long they were with the company rather than their age. Then again, if I was retiring 10+ years earlier than my coworkers I'm not sure I would want a party in any case. Might be better to just quietly slip out the door and avoid all the questions.

Goldielocks

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21286 on: December 18, 2018, 12:21:34 PM »
At mega corp, I heard HR use the same line about who is "retiring" and who is quitting.   "He said he was retiring but he is only 53, so therefore he is just quitting and making it sound better".

Being a huge corporation, they had to set limits / lines /policies about who gets things like retirement parties, extra days off for funeral services, and even who gets flowers and when.

It is about semantics and red tape.

I realized that the specific term "retirement" that has a specific definition to HR, and triggers different paperwork than people that quit -- ie., that you will be receiving your retirement pension benefits.   In fact, the term is divided according to "early retirement" before the Normal Retirement Age (with partial benefits), and "Retirement" with full pension.

Normal retirement age = if you retire when your age plus years of service equal 80 (or 90, depending on the retirement plan).
So, you could retire at age 48 with 32 years of service (those people did exist, it was a retail chain), or retire at age 58 with 22 years of service.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21287 on: December 18, 2018, 01:16:40 PM »
At mega corp, I heard HR use the same line about who is "retiring" and who is quitting.   "He said he was retiring but he is only 53, so therefore he is just quitting and making it sound better".

Being a huge corporation, they had to set limits / lines /policies about who gets things like retirement parties, extra days off for funeral services, and even who gets flowers and when.

It is about semantics and red tape.

I realized that the specific term "retirement" that has a specific definition to HR, and triggers different paperwork than people that quit -- ie., that you will be receiving your retirement pension benefits.   In fact, the term is divided according to "early retirement" before the Normal Retirement Age (with partial benefits), and "Retirement" with full pension.

Normal retirement age = if you retire when your age plus years of service equal 80 (or 90, depending on the retirement plan).
So, you could retire at age 48 with 32 years of service (those people did exist, it was a retail chain), or retire at age 58 with 22 years of service.
The HR distinction may be due to benefits you are entitled to when you retire vs when you quit.  For example, at the megacorp I work at, my annual bonus is pro-rated if I retire, forfeited if I quit, my unvested stock equity may be prorated if I retire, forfetied if I quit.  And it clearly states, that you aren't eligible to 'retire' until age 55.  At DH's company, he can purchase retiree group benefits if he 'retires' but not if he quits....and he can't 'retire' until age 55.

Companies may give 'gifts' to retirees, not to someone who quits.  And they've drawn the line at 55.  It has to be drawn somewhere, otherwise everyone leaving to another job would claim they were retiring for whatever perk they could get.

But as others have said, if you're leaving a company you've worked at for a while, there should definately be a group send off, even if it's lunch out with your team.  And if someone is "retiring" before age 55, we should all celebrate with them!

Linda_Norway

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21288 on: December 18, 2018, 01:29:30 PM »
At mega corp, I heard HR use the same line about who is "retiring" and who is quitting.   "He said he was retiring but he is only 53, so therefore he is just quitting and making it sound better".

Being a huge corporation, they had to set limits / lines /policies about who gets things like retirement parties, extra days off for funeral services, and even who gets flowers and when.

It is about semantics and red tape.

I realized that the specific term "retirement" that has a specific definition to HR, and triggers different paperwork than people that quit -- ie., that you will be receiving your retirement pension benefits.   In fact, the term is divided according to "early retirement" before the Normal Retirement Age (with partial benefits), and "Retirement" with full pension.

Normal retirement age = if you retire when your age plus years of service equal 80 (or 90, depending on the retirement plan).
So, you could retire at age 48 with 32 years of service (those people did exist, it was a retail chain), or retire at age 58 with 22 years of service.
The HR distinction may be due to benefits you are entitled to when you retire vs when you quit.  For example, at the megacorp I work at, my annual bonus is pro-rated if I retire, forfeited if I quit, my unvested stock equity may be prorated if I retire, forfetied if I quit.  And it clearly states, that you aren't eligible to 'retire' until age 55.  At DH's company, he can purchase retiree group benefits if he 'retires' but not if he quits....and he can't 'retire' until age 55.

Companies may give 'gifts' to retirees, not to someone who quits.  And they've drawn the line at 55.  It has to be drawn somewhere, otherwise everyone leaving to another job would claim they were retiring for whatever perk they could get.

But as others have said, if you're leaving a company you've worked at for a while, there should definately be a group send off, even if it's lunch out with your team.  And if someone is "retiring" before age 55, we should all celebrate with them!

I think my company does goodbey cake eating when someone leaves. We haven't had a retiree yet, but will in some years. I hope to retire before him, though, but I will call it a sabattical.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #21289 on: December 18, 2018, 06:00:28 PM »
Goodbae