Coworker and I were having a discussion about how to prevent our kids from becoming super self-absorbed entitled teenagers who feel that the world (and their parents) owe them.
CW: My kid was mad at me because I got him an iPhone 6s and not the new iphoneX. Apparently everyone in his class has the iphoneX. It’s also super unfair to him that he doesn’t get an allowance when everyone else gets at least $100 per week.
Me: He really needs to learn to be grateful for what he has. He needs to cultivate an attitude of appreciation. I mean, you guys live in one of the richest neighborhoods in town; it’s not like he’s destitute.
CW: Yes! So what do you think I should do? I need suggestions!
Me: Well, maybe find some way to let him see how blessed he is, that not everyone is able to live the way he does or has the opportunities he has. So maybe have him volunteer in a rural/inner city program this summer. But you have to do it as a family. You can’t just dump him in the middle of nowhere. Otherwise it’s not fair. And also, if you just make him do it and don’t participate yourself, he will see that you don’t really hold yourself to the same values.
CW: That’s such a good idea! He totally needs to remember how blessed he is. And volunteering would look good on his college apps! But we can’t this summer because we are going to Bali for two weeks and then to our summer house in Greece. I’ll just tell him he needs to be grateful for what he has.
Me: (face, meet palm)
It gets worse. I initially cut it out for brevity.
I live in Shanghai, and these kids are expat kids or superwealthy Chinese kids. USD$100/week is actually considered "reasonable". A totally non-scientific survey conducted last year by one of the expat magazines found that 20% of expat highschool students have Amex Black cards (I think that's what they're called, the ones with No Credit Limit. Obviously, I've never had one so I may be wrong about the name of the card). Unfortunately, pretty much all the kids in his class have either the X or the 8, though to be fair, I know at least 3 of the kids who recently jumped from the 5s to the X (meaning that their parents didn't rush out to get them the latest and greatest iPhone as soon as it came out).
And because great minds think alike (the minds of the people on this forum), I did suggest that the kid volunteer throughout the school year. The response: "He can't because he has rugby on Monday, tennis on Tuesday, extra tutoring on Wednesdays and Fridays, violin on Thursday, and needs his weekends to catch up on homework. Besides all those volunteer places are in
dangerous areas of town, and I wouldn't feel comfortable letting him take the bus/subway there by himself, and our driver doesn't work on the weekends."
Yeah, I don't think I can help you.
(Though I like the idea of getting an iPhone 5. I have an old refurbished 5s with 8GB that dies after 8 hours. I should offer to trade my 5s for his 6s.)