Been slowly making my way through this thread since discovering this forum back in October. I almost gave up during the orange/black box discussion, but I fought through it and here I am today completely caught up and ready to make my contribution for my first post on the forum!
I'm a federal employee working in a finance office full of employees at the GS-12 level and above. GS-12 employees in my location start out at $71k, but the employee in this post is making around $81k with step increases over the years. Her husband probably makes around $40k-$50k. So, household income over $100k, kids are out of the house, and no kids in college. They have very little saved for retirement, go out for lunch every day (Panera would be a cheap lunch to them so probably >$20/day), constantly give their kids money (both kids have jobs making enough to support themselves), and she constantly complains about their finances.
-They recently built a $200k house because they deserved it, giving them a longer commute in their full size V8 Chevy Trailblazer that might get 16 MPG on a good day (they do ride together to "save money").
-They can't sell their old house that they purchased when they moved here 20+ years ago. They owe more on it now than what it cost when they bought it (refinanced more than once to pay off CC debt). The old house is in a slum lord neighborhood. Most of the houses on their street have recently sold for half of their asking price. Since it has been up on the market, they have spent close to $20k fixing the place up instead of just dropping the price down $20k as I suggested.
-Her husband smokes a pack a day, orders multiple beers when they go out to eat in the evenings, and has to have the $200/month cable plan.
-Just the other day she was whining about how her husband wants her to pick up a second job (since she has a desk job that is less labor intensive than his) to help foot the bill of the two mortgages.
-Their cell phone bill is in excess of $300/month because their grown kids wanted new smartphones and they put them on the monthly installment plan.
The list goes on and on. You can tell her what she needs to do, but all she wants is pity and to hear that everything she is doing is okay. She can't fathom how my wife and I will be able to make it on just my income once we have kids and how outrageous she thinks it is that I "allow" my wife to be a SAHM when "things" are so expensive. She seems so shocked when I say it was always my intention for my wife to be a SAHM and "things" aren't expensive for us because we don't buy "things" we don't need.