Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 5064678 times)

Mistah Cash Lion

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7800 on: April 12, 2015, 07:56:02 PM »
I have no Idea.  I was losing my mind when she announced it.  I don't want to rain on her special day...but the reality of her decision is going to hit pretty hard.

Maybe, as her friend, you can gently show her the lack of wisdom this purchase represents? 

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7801 on: April 12, 2015, 08:04:25 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

I'm a woman and I tend to fall in the straightforward, looking for solutions and feedback category.  I doubt that there's anything particularly innate to gender that would cause someone to prefer one method or another.  And of course we've seen that women make up a large part of this forum and mustachians in general.

However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.

To clarify, I'm not saying All men or women a a certain way.  That's ridiculous.  But anyone who hasn't noticed this trend might have their gender neutrality goggles on

I'm pretty sure intirb is trying to *explain* that trend (to the extent it exists), not deny it. That is, explain it in a way that goes beyond "bitches be crazy."

[edited: clarity]

Ah, makes sense but I still wanted to make sure I wasn't gonna catch flak for something I wasn't trying to say (although I'm fine w/ flak for things I am trying to say).  Still, women be shoppin'.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2015, 10:44:00 PM by dragoncar »

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7802 on: April 12, 2015, 08:31:56 PM »
^ Saved by Dave Chappelle. No one can be mad at you now.

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7803 on: April 13, 2015, 03:33:19 AM »

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.


I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm a woman myself, but when I talk with other women, I find them very receptive to constructive suggestions about how they might improve the things they are complaining about. When I do the same with men I find them very dismissive about the suggestions I make (because they don't want to take advice from a woman?). It seems to me that the men are more likely to defend their past (and therefore future actions) with a 'Yeah, but', whereas women are more likely to say, "hmm, I hadn't thought of that".

But of course, that's just my experience. I don't think it's my gender neutrality goggels though, since I have noticed a difference between the sexes, just the other way around. So maybe the gender of the advice giver is important.

rocksinmyhead

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7804 on: April 13, 2015, 07:08:26 AM »

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.


I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm a woman myself, but when I talk with other women, I find them very receptive to constructive suggestions about how they might improve the things they are complaining about. When I do the same with men I find them very dismissive about the suggestions I make (because they don't want to take advice from a woman?). It seems to me that the men are more likely to defend their past (and therefore future actions) with a 'Yeah, but', whereas women are more likely to say, "hmm, I hadn't thought of that".

But of course, that's just my experience. I don't think it's my gender neutrality goggels though, since I have noticed a difference between the sexes, just the other way around. So maybe the gender of the advice giver is important.

you know, I actually think you might be on to something, and maybe it ties in with what other folks were saying re. the way men and women tend to give advice/suggestions.

also, I will openly admit that most of the time, when I talk to my boyfriend about my problems, I'm really just processing my emotions out loud and I DO just want empathy and maybe a hug. like, eventually I might be ready for some constructive suggestions but sometimes I just want to get it out... and oddly if I'm really stressed out about a situation, I do tend to see advice from my boyfriend or male friends as more critical, and advice from other women as more helpful.

plus I just process thoughts and emotions really externally in general, which I think does tend to be more of a woman thing. I think more dudes tend to process that stuff internally, so if they are talking about it out loud the only reason is because they legitimately want advice. (obviously this doesn't apply to 100% of men and 100% of women but I think it's fairly common)

interesting discussion! /foam

haven't heard anything dumb out of my coworkers lately. they are a real mixed bag of solid financial decisions and crazy wastefulness.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7805 on: April 13, 2015, 07:16:31 AM »
A visitor from another department, works with one of my coworkers is taking 2 weeks off in May for vacation. She's going to Vegas for the first week with a group of friends.

"My focus is to spend all my money. Spending money helps me relax."

I really hope she's joking, but I've never met her so have no idea.


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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7806 on: April 13, 2015, 08:04:33 AM »
a good fund will have higher fees and will still earns higher total returns
How the fuck can anyone with even a passing interest in investing be so fucking ignorant?
Before I even bought my first stock in 2000, I knew that was false.
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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7807 on: April 13, 2015, 08:16:52 AM »
Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.
I'm not flaming you, son. I'm just very disappointed.

Quote
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What if everything was spiders???
It'd beat the shit out of what I overhear. My CW's are too busy hurrdurring about dem eevul jab-killin, global-warmin-conspurracy-propergatin' liberals to disclose any hilarious financial foibles.
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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7808 on: April 13, 2015, 09:39:46 AM »
It seems to me that the men are more likely to defend their past (and therefore future actions) with a 'Yeah, but', whereas women are more likely to say, "hmm, I hadn't thought of that". [...] So maybe the gender of the advice giver is important.
I don't know you so this opinion is worth exactly what you paid for it. But when I look at the way I act, or my observations of people of any gender, I think people respond with "Yeah, but..." when they feel attacked and "hmm, I hadn't thought of that" when they feel they're being accepted. It could be that men and women are hearing different things when you offer the "same" criticism to both of them, or that you behave differently towards men than you do women. I don't think it's anything as simple as that women accept criticism and men don't.

also, I will openly admit that most of the time, when I talk to my boyfriend about my problems, I'm really just processing my emotions out loud and I DO just want empathy and maybe a hug. like, eventually I might be ready for some constructive suggestions but sometimes I just want to get it out... and oddly if I'm really stressed out about a situation, I do tend to see advice from my boyfriend or male friends as more critical, and advice from other women as more helpful.

plus I just process thoughts and emotions really externally in general, which I think does tend to be more of a woman thing. I think more dudes tend to process that stuff internally, so if they are talking about it out loud the only reason is because they legitimately want advice. (obviously this doesn't apply to 100% of men and 100% of women but I think it's fairly common)
This is an interesting point and it's got me thinking. I don't buy for a second that dudes don't process things externally. I think maybe one difference (in my experience) is that guys tend to more explicitly tag things - "Hey, I've been mulling this one over, what do you think?" when they're asking for suggestions or "Listen to this" when they want just a sympathetic ear. SWMBO brings up problems because she wants solutions sometimes and because she wants sympathy other times, and doesn't communicate which situation it is [in a way I understand]. Other close female friends of mine make it pretty clear.

UnleashHell

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7809 on: April 13, 2015, 09:46:00 AM »
It'd beat the shit out of what I overhear. My CW's are too busy hurrdurring about dem eevul jab-killin, global-warmin-conspurracy-propergatin' liberals to disclose any hilarious financial foibles.
Do you work in my office? Got a few here who are so anti Obama they’d hurt themselves rather say anything positive about any policy.

Two of them are totally anti the affordable care act. And all of its provisions. We are in the process of moving a lot of work abroad and the two of them are high on the list for not being needed anymore. So they’ll need new jobs and new healthcare.  Luckily for them under the ACA their pre existing conditions will be covered. Because of ACA – and both of them have had cancer. Yet they still refuse to admit that anything in the ACA might be good because Obama started it.

What a pair of fucktards.
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Beaker

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7810 on: April 13, 2015, 09:53:13 AM »
What if everything was spiders???

Well, not exactly an answer to that question, but related...

http://what-if.xkcd.com/136/

eyePod

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7811 on: April 13, 2015, 10:32:01 AM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

Oh wow. And here I am, have been debating whether I should spend $300 to be in the Australian volleyball supporters club which will give me a ticket to every international men's and women's volleyball match in Australia this year (up to 10 matches!) plus a replica Jersey.... The men wil have two games against Brazil in my home town, and Brazil are going to be very strong next year at their home Olympics. It's not bad value given the best seats for one event go for about $85... I think I'll commit. :)

Please do. That is fantastic! I'd love to be able to watch that much volleyball.
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MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7812 on: April 13, 2015, 10:51:02 AM »
A visitor from another department, works with one of my coworkers is taking 2 weeks off in May for vacation. She's going to Vegas for the first week with a group of friends.

"My focus is to spend all my money. Spending money helps me relax."

I really hope she's joking, but I've never met her so have no idea.

That's funny, spending money has the opposite effect on me.

theadvicist

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7813 on: April 13, 2015, 02:31:44 PM »
It seems to me that the men are more likely to defend their past (and therefore future actions) with a 'Yeah, but', whereas women are more likely to say, "hmm, I hadn't thought of that". [...] So maybe the gender of the advice giver is important.
I don't know you so this opinion is worth exactly what you paid for it. But when I look at the way I act, or my observations of people of any gender, I think people respond with "Yeah, but..." when they feel attacked and "hmm, I hadn't thought of that" when they feel they're being accepted. It could be that men and women are hearing different things when you offer the "same" criticism to both of them, or that you behave differently towards men than you do women. I don't think it's anything as simple as that women accept criticism and men don't.


Yes, those are exactly my points 1) nothing is as simple as men this, women that, which is why I was providing a counter-example of how the original example wasn't true for me 2) "yeah but" is definitely a defensive response of someone who doesn't want to hear advice and 3) the gender of the advice-giver may affect the reaction of the receiver (either because of how it was delivered or interpreted). You made an important point that my style may be different depending on gender, which I hadn't considered and is very useful food for thought, thank you.

RysChristensen

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7814 on: April 13, 2015, 07:51:33 PM »
What if everything was spiders???

Well, not exactly an answer to that question, but related...

http://what-if.xkcd.com/136/

Oh. My. God. Note to self: clicking on the pdf link = BAD. Like, I saw Arachnophobia in the theater bad. Only with scientific measurements. And possibly fodder for bad jokes. (Hey, how many spiders DOES it take to move an 8' hanging light fixture sideways?)...

Gockie

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7815 on: April 14, 2015, 02:34:01 AM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

Oh wow. And here I am, have been debating whether I should spend $300 to be in the Australian volleyball supporters club which will give me a ticket to every international men's and women's volleyball match in Australia this year (up to 10 matches!) plus a replica Jersey.... The men wil have two games against Brazil in my home town, and Brazil are going to be very strong next year at their home Olympics. It's not bad value given the best seats for one event go for about $85... I think I'll commit. :)

Please do. That is fantastic! I'd love to be able to watch that much volleyball.

Honestly half of my dilemma was to decide whether to be there at the events as a volunteer - its free, you can be up really close to the action and get a souvenir uniform or two, or watch matches like any normal person lol... but you have to pay for that and you get no special treatment

AllChoptUp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7816 on: April 14, 2015, 11:54:02 AM »
What if everything was spiders???

Well, not exactly an answer to that question, but related...

http://what-if.xkcd.com/136/

Oh. My. God. Note to self: clicking on the pdf link = BAD. Like, I saw Arachnophobia in the theater bad. Only with scientific measurements. And possibly fodder for bad jokes. (Hey, how many spiders DOES it take to move an 8' hanging light fixture sideways?)...

SO. BAD.

GuitarStv

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7817 on: April 14, 2015, 12:41:57 PM »
What if everything was spiders???

Well, not exactly an answer to that question, but related...

http://what-if.xkcd.com/136/

Oh. My. God. Note to self: clicking on the pdf link = BAD. Like, I saw Arachnophobia in the theater bad. Only with scientific measurements. And possibly fodder for bad jokes. (Hey, how many spiders DOES it take to move an 8' hanging light fixture sideways?)...

SO. BAD.

The waste treatment plant was a pretty awesome environment for them.  Steady influx of insects via the water/sand, warmer than the surrounding environs, limited predation, shelter from most of the elements, lots of well spaced areas to attach webbing . . . it's like some mad architect was trying to built the perfect breeding ground for spiders.  I love that the recommendation was to tell the people who work their to deal with it, and think of it as a natural wonder.  :D

partgypsy

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7818 on: April 14, 2015, 03:00:20 PM »
Completely off topic, because not money related, but I just overheard from a conversation at the next desk:
In quick sucession:
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if dinosaurs still existed?'
'Do you think there's someone in the world who knows all the information?'
And then the enigmatic, 'What if aliens...' which just trailed off into silence.
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Hedge_87

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7819 on: April 14, 2015, 04:17:49 PM »
What if everything was spiders???

Well, not exactly an answer to that question, but related...

http://what-if.xkcd.com/136/

Oh. My. God. Note to self: clicking on the pdf link = BAD. Like, I saw Arachnophobia in the theater bad. Only with scientific measurements. And possibly fodder for bad jokes. (Hey, how many spiders DOES it take to move an 8' hanging light fixture sideways?)...

SO. BAD.

The waste treatment plant was a pretty awesome environment for them.  Steady influx of insects via the water/sand, warmer than the surrounding environs, limited predation, shelter from most of the elements, lots of well spaced areas to attach webbing . . . it's like some mad architect was trying to built the perfect breeding ground for spiders.  I love that the recommendation was to tell the people who work their to deal with it, and think of it as a natural wonder.  :D

I think I would RE from that place FI or not. I'm a big burly guy and it drives me crazy that I am terrified of spiders. I've jumped out of airplanes, caught a few rattlesnakes, and ran into burning buildings on my volunteer fire department. I just don't do spiders they give me the heebby jeebbys. I'm not so terrified I can't squash one with my boot but if one is crawling on me or on something I just picked up I kind of freak out for a second.
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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7820 on: April 14, 2015, 04:58:46 PM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

A 30k Mercedes SUV?  I didn't think those all went together in a sentence.  So I looked it up, and yea... 31k for the base model.  That is surprising.  I figured they would cost a lot more.

30k is still insane though.....

Wait. What? I kind of understand why people buy stupid cars when they graduate from nursing/medical/{generally difficult program} but why would you buy it before you even start?

When you start nursing school the government gives you these things they call low-anes or something.  Whatever they call it, it's a big pile of free money you get when you say you'll go get more schooling.  So it's like a bonus, you can go buy a new car, or buy a new macbook air, take a vacation, eat at a fancy restaurant, get your hair and nails done up, or anything else you've always wanted but never had the cash for.  It doesn't even matter if you go to class!

^^At least that's what I imagine is going through her head.

Megma

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7821 on: April 14, 2015, 05:43:20 PM »
A visitor from another department, works with one of my coworkers is taking 2 weeks off in May for vacation. She's going to Vegas for the first week with a group of friends.

"My focus is to spend all my money. Spending money helps me relax."

I really hope she's joking, but I've never met her so have no idea.

That's funny, spending money has the opposite effect on me.

Vegas is the worst place I've ever been. It sounds perfect for her.
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fantabulous

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7822 on: April 14, 2015, 05:55:23 PM »
What if everything was spiders???

Well, not exactly an answer to that question, but related...

http://what-if.xkcd.com/136/

Oh. My. God. Note to self: clicking on the pdf link = BAD. Like, I saw Arachnophobia in the theater bad. Only with scientific measurements. And possibly fodder for bad jokes. (Hey, how many spiders DOES it take to move an 8' hanging light fixture sideways?)...

SO. BAD.

The waste treatment plant was a pretty awesome environment for them.  Steady influx of insects via the water/sand, warmer than the surrounding environs, limited predation, shelter from most of the elements, lots of well spaced areas to attach webbing . . . it's like some mad architect was trying to built the perfect breeding ground for spiders.  I love that the recommendation was to tell the people who work their to deal with it, and think of it as a natural wonder.  :D

I think I would RE from that place FI or not. I'm a big burly guy and it drives me crazy that I am terrified of spiders. I've jumped out of airplanes, caught a few rattlesnakes, and ran into burning buildings on my volunteer fire department. I just don't do spiders they give me the heebby jeebbys. I'm not so terrified I can't squash one with my boot but if one is crawling on me or on something I just picked up I kind of freak out for a second.

So a house full of burning spiders is right out?

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7823 on: April 14, 2015, 07:12:02 PM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

A 30k Mercedes SUV?  I didn't think those all went together in a sentence.  So I looked it up, and yea... 31k for the base model.  That is surprising.  I figured they would cost a lot more.

30k is still insane though.....

Wait. What? I kind of understand why people buy stupid cars when they graduate from nursing/medical/{generally difficult program} but why would you buy it before you even start?

When you start nursing school the government gives you these things they call low-anes or something.  Whatever they call it, it's a big pile of free money you get when you say you'll go get more schooling.  So it's like a bonus, you can go buy a new car, or buy a new macbook air, take a vacation, eat at a fancy restaurant, get your hair and nails done up, or anything else you've always wanted but never had the cash for.  It doesn't even matter if you go to class!

^^At least that's what I imagine is going through her head.

ha ha ha - that was awesome!!! :)

Murse

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7824 on: April 14, 2015, 07:36:17 PM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

A 30k Mercedes SUV?  I didn't think those all went together in a sentence.  So I looked it up, and yea... 31k for the base model.  That is surprising.  I figured they would cost a lot more.

30k is still insane though.....

Wait. What? I kind of understand why people buy stupid cars when they graduate from nursing/medical/{generally difficult program} but why would you buy it before you even start?

When you start nursing school the government gives you these things they call low-anes or something.  Whatever they call it, it's a big pile of free money you get when you say you'll go get more schooling.  So it's like a bonus, you can go buy a new car, or buy a new macbook air, take a vacation, eat at a fancy restaurant, get your hair and nails done up, or anything else you've always wanted but never had the cash for.  It doesn't even matter if you go to class!

^^At least that's what I imagine is going through her head.

ha ha ha - that was awesome!!! :)

I just spent two minutes trying to pronounce that word a low-ayns. Thinking what in the world is a low ayn?

Murse

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7825 on: April 14, 2015, 07:37:37 PM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

A 30k Mercedes SUV?  I didn't think those all went together in a sentence.  So I looked it up, and yea... 31k for the base model.  That is surprising.  I figured they would cost a lot more.

30k is still insane though.....

Wait. What? I kind of understand why people buy stupid cars when they graduate from nursing/medical/{generally difficult program} but why would you buy it before you even start?

When you start nursing school the government gives you these things they call low-anes or something.  Whatever they call it, it's a big pile of free money you get when you say you'll go get more schooling.  So it's like a bonus, you can go buy a new car, or buy a new macbook air, take a vacation, eat at a fancy restaurant, get your hair and nails done up, or anything else you've always wanted but never had the cash for.  It doesn't even matter if you go to class!

^^At least that's what I imagine is going through her head.

ha ha ha - that was awesome!!! :)
I just spent two minutes trying to pronounce that word a low-ayns. Thinking what in the world is a low ayn? Never fear, I figured it out.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7826 on: April 14, 2015, 08:25:09 PM »
A visitor from another department, works with one of my coworkers is taking 2 weeks off in May for vacation. She's going to Vegas for the first week with a group of friends.

"My focus is to spend all my money. Spending money helps me relax."

I really hope she's joking, but I've never met her so have no idea.

That's funny, spending money has the opposite effect on me.

Vegas is the worst place I've ever been. It sounds perfect for her.

It isn't so bad, some cool people live here. I enjoy the city way more now that I live off the strip.

mlipps

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7827 on: April 14, 2015, 10:12:51 PM »
A visitor from another department, works with one of my coworkers is taking 2 weeks off in May for vacation. She's going to Vegas for the first week with a group of friends.

"My focus is to spend all my money. Spending money helps me relax."

I really hope she's joking, but I've never met her so have no idea.

That's funny, spending money has the opposite effect on me.

Vegas is the worst place I've ever been. It sounds perfect for her.

It isn't so bad, some cool people live here. I enjoy the city way more now that I live off the strip.

Umm. You live in Minnesota.

arebelspy

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7828 on: April 14, 2015, 10:18:25 PM »
I think he meant "stay" not "live."
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MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7829 on: April 15, 2015, 08:10:14 AM »
A visitor from another department, works with one of my coworkers is taking 2 weeks off in May for vacation. She's going to Vegas for the first week with a group of friends.

"My focus is to spend all my money. Spending money helps me relax."

I really hope she's joking, but I've never met her so have no idea.

That's funny, spending money has the opposite effect on me.

Vegas is the worst place I've ever been. It sounds perfect for her.

It isn't so bad, some cool people live here. I enjoy the city way more now that I live off the strip.

Umm. You live in Minnesota.

Typo, meant to say stay.

GuitarStv

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7830 on: April 15, 2015, 08:29:16 AM »
What if everything was spiders???

Well, not exactly an answer to that question, but related...

http://what-if.xkcd.com/136/

Oh. My. God. Note to self: clicking on the pdf link = BAD. Like, I saw Arachnophobia in the theater bad. Only with scientific measurements. And possibly fodder for bad jokes. (Hey, how many spiders DOES it take to move an 8' hanging light fixture sideways?)...

SO. BAD.

The waste treatment plant was a pretty awesome environment for them.  Steady influx of insects via the water/sand, warmer than the surrounding environs, limited predation, shelter from most of the elements, lots of well spaced areas to attach webbing . . . it's like some mad architect was trying to built the perfect breeding ground for spiders.  I love that the recommendation was to tell the people who work their to deal with it, and think of it as a natural wonder.  :D

I think I would RE from that place FI or not. I'm a big burly guy and it drives me crazy that I am terrified of spiders. I've jumped out of airplanes, caught a few rattlesnakes, and ran into burning buildings on my volunteer fire department. I just don't do spiders they give me the heebby jeebbys. I'm not so terrified I can't squash one with my boot but if one is crawling on me or on something I just picked up I kind of freak out for a second.

I used to be similar . . . but after working as an exterminator for a while you just kinda get over it.  Familiarity really kills that 'freak out' thing.  Still not a fan of them crawling on my face though.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7831 on: April 15, 2015, 11:17:05 AM »
When you start nursing school the government gives you these things they call low-anes or something.  Whatever they call it, it's a big pile of free money you get when you say you'll go get more schooling.  So it's like a bonus, you can go buy a new car, or buy a new macbook air, take a vacation, eat at a fancy restaurant, get your hair and nails done up, or anything else you've always wanted but never had the cash for.  It doesn't even matter if you go to class!

^^At least that's what I imagine is going through her head.
Is it common for people to use student loans for fun shit?
Is that a dumb question?
I never had any loans (combination of luck and doing the right things, I guess) but I literally never conceived of being able to, or wanting to, use them for anything other than actual school expenses. Maybe that's why I felt like the only broke-ass, with my ROTC scholarship and just enough hours cleaning dorm bathrooms to pay rent. I wish I could say I'd taken advantage of that massive headstart by vaulting ahead of the rest right out the gate, but I was still broke a full decade later because of dumb shit I did.
Anyway.
For real, never thought it was even possible to commit such dumbassery with student loans, even if you wanted to.
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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7832 on: April 15, 2015, 11:30:33 AM »
When you start nursing school the government gives you these things they call low-anes or something.  Whatever they call it, it's a big pile of free money you get when you say you'll go get more schooling.  So it's like a bonus, you can go buy a new car, or buy a new macbook air, take a vacation, eat at a fancy restaurant, get your hair and nails done up, or anything else you've always wanted but never had the cash for.  It doesn't even matter if you go to class!

^^At least that's what I imagine is going through her head.
Is it common for people to use student loans for fun shit?
Is that a dumb question?
I never had any loans (combination of luck and doing the right things, I guess) but I literally never conceived of being able to, or wanting to, use them for anything other than actual school expenses. Maybe that's why I felt like the only broke-ass, with my ROTC scholarship and just enough hours cleaning dorm bathrooms to pay rent. I wish I could say I'd taken advantage of that massive headstart by vaulting ahead of the rest right out the gate, but I was still broke a full decade later because of dumb shit I did.
Anyway.
For real, never thought it was even possible to commit such dumbassery with student loans, even if you wanted to.

I did. I lived well within my means while I was in school and spent the rest of the loans traveling Europe and Australia in the summers. But I don't regret it. But I also continued to live cheap after school and paid off those loans ASAP. And, I forget exactly why, but a lot of the loans I didn't end up having to pay back. IIRC it was something called Millennium scholarship, which paid off all but 5k/year of my loans (6 years of post secondary).

It may have been spending loans on fun shit, but it worked out in the end.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7833 on: April 15, 2015, 11:37:25 AM »
Quote
Is it common for people to use student loans for fun shit?

Very common. Student loans are for "living expenses" too.  Many people consider vacations (or super fancy apartments) part of standard living expenses.

And how could anyone even get through college without a Mac Book Air, an Ipad, an Iphone, and an Iwatch? ;)

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7834 on: April 15, 2015, 11:45:43 AM »
When you start nursing school the government gives you these things they call low-anes or something.  Whatever they call it, it's a big pile of free money you get when you say you'll go get more schooling.  So it's like a bonus, you can go buy a new car, or buy a new macbook air, take a vacation, eat at a fancy restaurant, get your hair and nails done up, or anything else you've always wanted but never had the cash for.  It doesn't even matter if you go to class!

^^At least that's what I imagine is going through her head.
Is it common for people to use student loans for fun shit?
Is that a dumb question?
I never had any loans (combination of luck and doing the right things, I guess) but I literally never conceived of being able to, or wanting to, use them for anything other than actual school expenses. Maybe that's why I felt like the only broke-ass, with my ROTC scholarship and just enough hours cleaning dorm bathrooms to pay rent. I wish I could say I'd taken advantage of that massive headstart by vaulting ahead of the rest right out the gate, but I was still broke a full decade later because of dumb shit I did.
Anyway.
For real, never thought it was even possible to commit such dumbassery with student loans, even if you wanted to.

With my college friend group, it was uncommon for people to NOT use their loan money on stupid crap.

...and that's why several of them owe six figures now.

frugalnacho

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7835 on: April 15, 2015, 12:09:22 PM »
Is it common for people to use student loans for fun shit?
Is that a dumb question?

Anybody that has any amount of student loans, and does any type of "fun shit" is effectively financing their fun shit with student loans.  Every dollar that you spend on pizza, beer, a car, a movie, a vacation, etc is a dollar that you had because you have a student loan.  The same is true for all other forms of debt.  Going to a movie while you have a mortgage? Effectively taking a 4% loan to finance your movie ticket.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7836 on: April 15, 2015, 12:14:44 PM »

Is it common for people to use student loans for fun shit?
Is that a dumb question?


Boob jobs and new cars...

The car I can understand, I'm at a rural community college. Transportation is a necessity. 

Basic finances and long term planning are not skills my classmates seem to have.


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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7837 on: April 15, 2015, 12:41:21 PM »
Is it common for people to use student loans for fun shit?
Is that a dumb question?

Anybody that has any amount of student loans, and does any type of "fun shit" is effectively financing their fun shit with student loans.  Every dollar that you spend on pizza, beer, a car, a movie, a vacation, etc is a dollar that you had because you have a student loan.  The same is true for all other forms of debt.  Going to a movie while you have a mortgage? Effectively taking a 4% loan to finance your movie ticket.


this i don't get

if i took out a loan for the mortgage and i have the house, how am i now financing my movie ticket with the 4% loan? i exchanged the house for the loan money. if you look at it like this, its a triple exchange.


we like to express that loan amount as principal plus interest. but if you do the math ahead of time and just assume the maximum amount of time. you know the exact amount owed. but to say you are financing other stuff by not paying that faster makes no sense to me. . it could maybe be an opportunity cost. but nothing more.

arebelspy

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7838 on: April 15, 2015, 12:49:38 PM »
it could maybe be an opportunity cost. but nothing more.

But that's the key.

If you have $10 that you've earned, and a mortgage, you could put that $10 towards the mortgage, saving you the 4% interest on it.

Or you could go to the movies.  By going to the movies, you're choosing to pay 4% on the $10.  Thus, in essence, your mortgage is financing that movie expenditure.

It may or may not be 100% accurate, but it's one valid way of looking at it.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, and now travel the world full time with a kid.
If you want to know more about me, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (occasionally) blog at AdventuringAlong.com.
You can also read my forum "Journal."

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7839 on: April 15, 2015, 12:57:53 PM »
Anybody that has any amount of student loans, and does any type of "fun shit" is effectively financing their fun shit with student loans.  Every dollar that you spend on pizza, beer, a car, a movie, a vacation, etc is a dollar that you had because you have a student loan.  The same is true for all other forms of debt.  Going to a movie while you have a mortgage? Effectively taking a 4% loan to finance your movie ticket.
Interesting way of looking at it, but I would distinguish between, say, borrowing $100K for tuition and borrowing $150K for tuition + lifestyle accessories. I was well out of college before I began to conceive how much of the latter actually happens.
Boggles the mind. I was dead set on not having student loans from the get-go. I'm not sure why, because I don't recall being raised to fear debt. Regardless, the idea of fucking oneself even harder than necessary just never occurred. Who are these people? Wait, I should just ask my mom... hahaha
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MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7840 on: April 15, 2015, 12:58:14 PM »
it could maybe be an opportunity cost. but nothing more.

But that's the key.

If you have $10 that you've earned, and a mortgage, you could put that $10 towards the mortgage, saving you the 4% interest on it.

Or you could go to the movies.  By going to the movies, you're choosing to pay 4% on the $10.  Thus, in essence, your mortgage is financing that movie expenditure.

It may or may not be 100% accurate, but it's one valid way of looking at it.

I don't have a mortgage or owe any money, so the way I see a dollar spent is that means one less dollar for me to invest, as my goal is to achieve FIRE, this means that I view spent money in terms of time added towards working.

vivophoenix

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7841 on: April 15, 2015, 01:20:58 PM »
it could maybe be an opportunity cost. but nothing more.

But that's the key.

If you have $10 that you've earned, and a mortgage, you could put that $10 towards the mortgage, saving you the 4% interest on it.

Or you could go to the movies.  By going to the movies, you're choosing to pay 4% on the $10.  Thus, in essence, your mortgage is financing that movie expenditure.

It may or may not be 100% accurate, but it's one valid way of looking at it.

i dont agree on how you are using opportunity cost

you either pay 10 on your mortgage or you pay 10 to go to the movies. if you pay 10 on the mortgage now,  it means no movie. if you pay for the movie now,   it means that later you have to pay 10 plus 4% for the mortgage.  you changed the timeline

I  argue that if you saw a movie later, it probably will increase in price, as well

i think we can both agree that the rate or inflation for the movie isnt the same as the APR for the mortgage but the 4% represents the opportunity to buy a house now. you didnt have the cash,  and you didnt want to wait and save up.


frugalnacho

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7842 on: April 15, 2015, 01:32:59 PM »
it could maybe be an opportunity cost. but nothing more.

But that's the key.

If you have $10 that you've earned, and a mortgage, you could put that $10 towards the mortgage, saving you the 4% interest on it.

Or you could go to the movies.  By going to the movies, you're choosing to pay 4% on the $10.  Thus, in essence, your mortgage is financing that movie expenditure.

It may or may not be 100% accurate, but it's one valid way of looking at it.

Exactly.  Say you have 100k, and you purchase a house for 100k, and also go on a vacation that costs 100k.  You need to finance one of those things.  You either pay the house outright and finance your vacation, or you pay for the vacation outright and finance the mortgage.  What is the difference (besides the obvious technicality that the house is used as collateral in one case, and you will get different terms on the different loans)?  You have essentially purchase 200k worth of goods with 100k cash and financed the other 100k.  If you think you are not financing your vacation because you paid that bill in full while taking on 100k worth of mortgage I would say you are fooling yourself. 

Or say I make 100k/yr, and I have 100k/yr worth of expenses, and I also purchase 100k/yr worth of faberge eggs on credit.  I just financed 100k worth of faberge eggs.   What if I instead put 100% of my living expenses on a credit card and purchase 100k worth of faberge eggs with cash.  What is the difference?  Would you argue that in second scenario I was not essentially financing my 100k/yr faberge egg habit because I technically paid cash for them while charging all my other expenses?  At the end of the year I have 100k worth of debt because of those damn faberge eggs, and my bank account balance really doesn't care which expenses I technically paid in cash.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2015, 01:40:12 PM by frugalnacho »

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7843 on: April 15, 2015, 01:34:43 PM »
it could maybe be an opportunity cost. but nothing more.

But that's the key.

If you have $10 that you've earned, and a mortgage, you could put that $10 towards the mortgage, saving you the 4% interest on it.

Or you could go to the movies.  By going to the movies, you're choosing to pay 4% on the $10.  Thus, in essence, your mortgage is financing that movie expenditure.

It may or may not be 100% accurate, but it's one valid way of looking at it.

Also http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fungibility

frugalnacho

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7844 on: April 15, 2015, 01:37:17 PM »
it could maybe be an opportunity cost. but nothing more.

But that's the key.

If you have $10 that you've earned, and a mortgage, you could put that $10 towards the mortgage, saving you the 4% interest on it.

Or you could go to the movies.  By going to the movies, you're choosing to pay 4% on the $10.  Thus, in essence, your mortgage is financing that movie expenditure.

It may or may not be 100% accurate, but it's one valid way of looking at it.

i dont agree on how you are using opportunity cost

you either pay 10 on your mortgage or you pay 10 to go to the movies. if you pay 10 on the mortgage now,  it means no movie. if you pay for the movie now,   it means that later you have to pay 10 plus 4% for the mortgage.  you changed the timeline

I  argue that if you saw a movie later, it probably will increase in price, as well

i think we can both agree that the rate or inflation for the movie isnt the same as the APR for the mortgage but the 4% represents the opportunity to buy a house now. you didnt have the cash,  and you didnt want to wait and save up.

In essence what you are doing is transferring your $10 purchase into your mortgage.  Say you have $10 left on your mortgage balance today, and you have $10 cash.  You can either:

Pay $10 for a movie ticket and keep your $10 mortgage at 4%.
Pay your mortgage off, and then take a $10 loan at 4% to pay for your movie ticket.

Either way, if you see that movie you have a $10 loan at the end of the day, and no cash.

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7845 on: April 15, 2015, 01:48:30 PM »
Or to give a real life example.  At one point I loaned a friend money, and it took a long time to pay it back, because he was always broke.  But he also had no problem buying weed.  Was I buying his weed?  I felt I was.  I loan him $100 to pay is electricity bill, which he does, but also buys $100 worth of weed the next week, while not paying me back.  What's the difference if he just took my $100 and bought the weed?

frugalnacho

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7846 on: April 15, 2015, 02:27:55 PM »
Or to give a real life example.  At one point I loaned a friend money, and it took a long time to pay it back, because he was always broke.  But he also had no problem buying weed.  Was I buying his weed?  I felt I was.  I loan him $100 to pay is electricity bill, which he does, but also buys $100 worth of weed the next week, while not paying me back.  What's the difference if he just took my $100 and bought the weed?

Still gots to smoke man.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7847 on: April 15, 2015, 02:31:04 PM »
Or to give a real life example.  At one point I loaned a friend money, and it took a long time to pay it back, because he was always broke.  But he also had no problem buying weed.  Was I buying his weed?  I felt I was.  I loan him $100 to pay is electricity bill, which he does, but also buys $100 worth of weed the next week, while not paying me back.  What's the difference if he just took my $100 and bought the weed?

Still gots to smoke man.

This right here was the logic my company had. We were wholesalers of many gift products but our business really slow down during the recession so we started bringing in smoking accessories because smokers gunna smoke.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7848 on: April 15, 2015, 02:33:16 PM »
What's the difference if he just took my $100 and bought the weed?

Because then he would probably feel obligated to share the weed with you, whereas if he used your $100 to pay for the electric bill then the weed is his, ALL HIS!!!11!

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7849 on: April 15, 2015, 06:13:36 PM »
I am also a woman who likes to solve problems not just complain about them, but I am thinking most women who are into this kind of MMM thing are highly likely to be similar. Make sense?