Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 8257390 times)

Pooperman

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2870
  • Age: 28
  • Location: North Carolina
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7700 on: April 10, 2015, 08:24:49 AM »
Completely off topic, because not money related, but I just overheard from a conversation at the next desk:
In quick sucession:
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if dinosaurs still existed?'
'Do you think there's someone in the world who knows all the information?'
And then the enigmatic, 'What if aliens...' which just trailed off into silence.
Slow day at the office. It's a beautiful sunny day outside. I am 100% aware of how awesome it must be to be retired.
Birds are dinosaurs in every meaningful sense.

It's like asking about woolly mammoths: yummy! 10/10 would eat.

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2975
  • Location: Emmaus, PA
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7701 on: April 10, 2015, 08:37:14 AM »

Torran

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 375
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7702 on: April 10, 2015, 09:15:54 AM »
Completely off topic, because not money related, but I just overheard from a conversation at the next desk:
In quick sucession:
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if dinosaurs still existed?'
'Do you think there's someone in the world who knows all the information?'
And then the enigmatic, 'What if aliens...' which just trailed off into silence.
Slow day at the office. It's a beautiful sunny day outside. I am 100% aware of how awesome it must be to be retired.
Birds are dinosaurs in every meaningful sense.

Hahaha I wish I'd had this to say to them at the time :)

dsmexpat

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 223
  • Age: 29
  • Location: New Mexico
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7703 on: April 10, 2015, 09:17:46 AM »

zolotiyeruki

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2664
  • Location: State: Denial
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7704 on: April 10, 2015, 10:42:23 AM »
I suggested to a coworker whom I'm friendly with to try Mint to track her spending, she responded that maybe she will try it in a few months because she has been spending too much and she doesn't want it to tell her she's over budget.
Many of the world's problems, in a nutshell, right there.

Cougar

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 344
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7705 on: April 10, 2015, 11:02:30 AM »

overheard new for me at work, as i have moved recently; i now have coworkers that bring their lunches daily and eat them at their desk. the thought keeps occurring to me that this conditional behavior is the same you might see in lab rats.


now, i bring my lunch; but i leave the building and go outside; but i cannot wait for the day when my time is 100% mine.

Rollin

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1176
  • Location: West-Central Florida - USA
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7706 on: April 10, 2015, 11:43:23 AM »
Talking to people at work about the fund lineup in the 401(k) plan and mentioned that we have some real stinkers. I pointed specifically to one with a total expense of 2.5% -I kid you not. To which, the Finance Director responded that he invests in that fund. I held it together and said, "oh?" and he doubled down by telling me (from his wisdom) that you don't pick a fund based on fees, because a good fund will have higher fees and will still earns higher total returns. He specifically said one of his reasons for investing in this fund is that it's "highly managed". Then he told me that it has performed very well for him. I checked, and this highly managed awfulness has managed to underperform the market on a 1-, 5-, and 10-year basis. Ouch ouch ouch.

We have a "Plus" fund offered with a 0.83% fee, and returns of about 2% over the past 3 years.  Hmmmmm, his formula doesn't seem to hold there.  What am I missing?  JK

frugledoc

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 545
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7707 on: April 10, 2015, 11:46:17 AM »
A coworker of mine makes a combined household income of $60k with her spouse.  She buys 4 packs of cigarettes each day on her way home for her husband and herself, costing $24 each day.  I showed her that she's eating up 15% of her household income in just cigarettes.  Addiction scares me.

She often complains about not being able to get ahead or save any money, but fellow coworkers and I have suggested alternatives to some of her problems.  Unfortunately her response is that she's fine with things the way they are.  Why complain, then?  What purpose does it serve to voice your problems if you are not looking for solutions?  I'd like to know if anyone has insight into the psychology behind it.

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

zataks

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 350
  • Location: Silicon Valley
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7708 on: April 10, 2015, 12:03:52 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Or, like the reason most people communicate with others, they are looking to connect with others who may share the same "problems".  If coworkers can commiserate about never having enough money, it is a form of connection, no?  Much the same way this forum bonds over frugality/money management.

sw1tch

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 271
  • Age: 33
  • Location: Middle of no and where
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7709 on: April 10, 2015, 12:05:30 PM »
A coworker of mine makes a combined household income of $60k with her spouse.  She buys 4 packs of cigarettes each day on her way home for her husband and herself, costing $24 each day.  I showed her that she's eating up 15% of her household income in just cigarettes.  Addiction scares me.

She often complains about not being able to get ahead or save any money, but fellow coworkers and I have suggested alternatives to some of her problems.  Unfortunately her response is that she's fine with things the way they are.  Why complain, then?  What purpose does it serve to voice your problems if you are not looking for solutions?  I'd like to know if anyone has insight into the psychology behind it.

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

+1

So much truth!

Hank Sinatra

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 129
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7710 on: April 10, 2015, 01:10:20 PM »
Quote
"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions.   

I also have noticed over the years that "normals" want approval. Nothing is their fault. Their self-indulgent choices are OK. It's OK to keep doing it.

dragoncar

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7965
  • Registered member
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7711 on: April 10, 2015, 01:23:56 PM »
As a former smoker, I usually didn't want to stock up on packs.  I always wanted to be ready to quit and if I had an extra pack, I wouldn't quit until I was done with that pack.  Not saying it makes sense, but it's the way I looked at it, and I know a lot of other people did too.

It's probably some of each, but I agree with you.  Whenever I'm trying to lose weight might cave once in a while and buy a donut at 7-11 for $1 (or whatever just an example).  Someone might say hey you can buy the dozen for just $6.  But then I'd be accepting the fact that I'm going to eat a dozen donuts, which doesn't align with my goals.  A bit of cognitive dissonance there.

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

Completely off topic, because not money related, but I just overheard from a conversation at the next desk:
In quick sucession:
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if dinosaurs still existed?'
'Do you think there's someone in the world who knows all the information?'
And then the enigmatic, 'What if aliens...' which just trailed off into silence.
Slow day at the office. It's a beautiful sunny day outside. I am 100% aware of how awesome it must be to be retired.

I want work with these people!

What if everything was spiders???


PencilThinStash

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 191
  • Age: 28
  • Location: Chicago Suburbs
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7712 on: April 10, 2015, 01:50:00 PM »

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.


Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.


Not going to comment on lines 2 and 3, purely to avoid the flame wars...

But for that first line, agreed. I definitely have trouble understanding "women people"

dividendman

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1073
  • Age: 36
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7713 on: April 10, 2015, 02:16:01 PM »
Quote
"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions.   

I also have noticed over the years that "normals" want approval. Nothing is their fault. Their self-indulgent choices are OK. It's OK to keep doing it.

Muggles are funny.

Cinder

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 468
  • Location: Central PA
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7714 on: April 10, 2015, 02:43:17 PM »
A coworker of mine makes a combined household income of $60k with her spouse.  She buys 4 packs of cigarettes each day on her way home for her husband and herself, costing $24 each day.  I showed her that she's eating up 15% of her household income in just cigarettes.  Addiction scares me.

She often complains about not being able to get ahead or save any money, but fellow coworkers and I have suggested alternatives to some of her problems.  Unfortunately her response is that she's fine with things the way they are.  Why complain, then?  What purpose does it serve to voice your problems if you are not looking for solutions?  I'd like to know if anyone has insight into the psychology behind it.

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

+1

So much truth!

+1 ... Holy crap, I never realized this... I've always been confused.... why are you telling me about your problem if you don't want a solution and you get mad at me when I offer several different options that you could do if the situation arises again?  ARGH

JordanOfGilead

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 429
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7715 on: April 10, 2015, 02:48:15 PM »
I'm a young engineer, a little over a year out of college. I discovered MMM at the beginning of march and have pulled a 180 in my life since then.

Whenever I try to talk to people at work about the possibility of financial independence by 35, their responses are always one of three things:
1) Winning the lottery doesn't count as a plan
2) Just wait until you have kids, all that will change
3) Make sure your wife is on board so she doesn't leave you and take half your shit

It bothers me that I work in a place where people see winning the lottery as the only possible means of early retirement. A place that also works their people so hard that it has strained most of the marriages in my office to the point of failure.

My favorite example is a man in his early 60s that has been divorced for over two decades and has a kid that is grown and moved out, complaining about how he is eligible for retirement in a few months, but he'll probably stay around because he can't afford the insurance if he doesn't.
This is a man with a 3000 sq-ft house sitting on about 5 acres and more project cars than I have fingers to count them on, yet he still blames the government and the company for making him unable to take care of himself in retirement.

intirb

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 80
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7716 on: April 10, 2015, 02:50:00 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

I'm a woman and I tend to fall in the straightforward, looking for solutions and feedback category.  I doubt that there's anything particularly innate to gender that would cause someone to prefer one method or another.  And of course we've seen that women make up a large part of this forum and mustachians in general.

However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.


dragoncar

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7965
  • Registered member
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7717 on: April 10, 2015, 03:00:44 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

I'm a woman and I tend to fall in the straightforward, looking for solutions and feedback category.  I doubt that there's anything particularly innate to gender that would cause someone to prefer one method or another.  And of course we've seen that women make up a large part of this forum and mustachians in general.

However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.

To clarify, I'm not saying All men or women a a certain way.  That's ridiculous.  But anyone who hasn't noticed this trend might have their gender neutrality goggles on

Cookie78

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1815
  • Location: Canada
    • Cookie's Goals
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7718 on: April 10, 2015, 03:05:51 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

I'm a woman and I tend to fall in the straightforward, looking for solutions and feedback category.  I doubt that there's anything particularly innate to gender that would cause someone to prefer one method or another.  And of course we've seen that women make up a large part of this forum and mustachians in general.

However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.

To clarify, I'm not saying All men or women a a certain way.  That's ridiculous.  But anyone who hasn't noticed this trend might have their gender neutrality goggles on

I've heard this theory before, but I figure I must choose my friends carefully because I haven't had to experience it. Or maybe my friends choose who they would like to complain to carefully (not me) so that they will get sympathy and not feedback.

Or maybe I have goggles, I dunno.

I have had people clarify whether I wanted feedback, or just someone to listen, before they gave me their opinions and suggestions.

Cookie78

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1815
  • Location: Canada
    • Cookie's Goals
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7719 on: April 10, 2015, 03:06:42 PM »
DP

dragoncar

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7965
  • Registered member
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7720 on: April 10, 2015, 03:55:10 PM »
DP

I guess if you're into that kinda thing

paddedhat

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2238
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7721 on: April 10, 2015, 04:03:41 PM »
My favorite that I personally overheard at work -- over 10 years ago now, but I can remember it like yesterday --

This was in late December or early January, after busting my ass all year long for slightly-below-market pay:

Boss: we can't pay much in bonuses this year, since the company didn't do that well this year.  (Turns, exits building, drives away in brand new Suburban that he just bought.)

Boss's wife - shortly afterwards also shows up at building in new, expensive car.

Clean Shaven: gives notice and quits about 2 months later, after spending that time job searching.

This is one thing I do not miss about being a construction supervisor on large projects. Far too many projects had the "speech" somewhere along the way. The company owner would stop by the job trailer to tell you how much he appreciates all you do, but things are tight and they need 110% out of you to get through this rough spot. My favorite was the one owner who told me that I had little understanding of the numbers behind the business and there was very little profit in the game. He claimed that he was happy to net at least 1% of the total annual volume for his own pocket. Seems a bit light, eh? Well let's review.  He drove the biggest Mercedes sedan available, his POS kid stumbled around the company providing negative value, but needed a Land Rover so he could drive out to the jobs and look confused. The wife's company vehicle was a new Mercedes SUV. I never did figure out exactly what she did? The owner, his wife, and son all drew healthy salaries from the company. The paltry 1% he netted every year? Well, we were doing a bit over fifty million in volume when I left, so it's a nice chunk. That said, the real number was probably 3-4X that, based on info. provided by competitors I worked for. Nothing like getting the "poor me" speech from an asshole who is making 25-35X  your salary.

SantaFeSteve

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 103
  • Age: 48
  • Location: New Mexico
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7722 on: April 10, 2015, 06:31:31 PM »
DP

I guess if you're into that kinda thing

ok, I lol'd a little.  Thanks Dragoncar

Cookie78

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1815
  • Location: Canada
    • Cookie's Goals
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7723 on: April 10, 2015, 06:46:18 PM »

Riff

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 116
  • Location: West Michigan
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7724 on: April 10, 2015, 07:03:10 PM »
Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

Ha! That makes me think of this awesome video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

Cressida

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2250
  • Location: Sunset Zone 5
  • gender is a hierarchy
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7725 on: April 10, 2015, 07:21:43 PM »
However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.

+100

Cressida

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2250
  • Location: Sunset Zone 5
  • gender is a hierarchy
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7726 on: April 10, 2015, 07:23:35 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

I'm a woman and I tend to fall in the straightforward, looking for solutions and feedback category.  I doubt that there's anything particularly innate to gender that would cause someone to prefer one method or another.  And of course we've seen that women make up a large part of this forum and mustachians in general.

However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.

To clarify, I'm not saying All men or women a a certain way.  That's ridiculous.  But anyone who hasn't noticed this trend might have their gender neutrality goggles on

I'm pretty sure intirb is trying to *explain* that trend (to the extent it exists), not deny it. That is, explain it in a way that goes beyond "bitches be crazy."

[edited: clarity]
« Last Edit: April 10, 2015, 10:34:28 PM by Cressida »

valk001

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 35
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7727 on: April 10, 2015, 11:08:58 PM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

Gockie

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 60
  • Location: Sydney Australia
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7728 on: April 11, 2015, 12:57:09 AM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

Oh wow. And here I am, have been debating whether I should spend $300 to be in the Australian volleyball supporters club which will give me a ticket to every international men's and women's volleyball match in Australia this year (up to 10 matches!) plus a replica Jersey.... The men wil have two games against Brazil in my home town, and Brazil are going to be very strong next year at their home Olympics. It's not bad value given the best seats for one event go for about $85... I think I'll commit. :)

LennStar

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1023
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7729 on: April 11, 2015, 05:12:16 AM »
I'm a young engineer, a little over a year out of college. I discovered MMM at the beginning of march and have pulled a 180 in my life since then.

Whenever I try to talk to people at work about the possibility of financial independence by 35, their responses are always one of three things:
1) Winning the lottery doesn't count as a plan
2) Just wait until you have kids, all that will change
3) Make sure your wife is on board so she doesn't leave you and take half your shit
Nice for you to do the 180 ;)

Well, at least for 3) there is an easy option, make split finances. You never know what will be in 20, 30 years. If it goes bad, you have the finance site covered. If it is still good, the "richer" one pays more without complaining anyway, so that is a no brainer for me. Its like an emergency fund: As long as you dont need it, you can ignore it, and when you need it, it makes things a lot more easier.


Quote
I think I'll commit. :)
Now what was the word for comparing things and judging them relatively instead of objectivly? :D

Gockie

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 60
  • Location: Sydney Australia
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7730 on: April 11, 2015, 07:06:27 AM »
Quote
Quote
I think I'll commit. :)
Now what was the word for comparing things and judging them relatively instead of objectivly? :D

Yes, you are absolutely right. Just because someone else makes stupid financial decisions doesn't make it right for me to make bad or stupid ones too on a smaller scale.
But... No hair on fire emergency here. Net worth of 1 mill now. (Maybe ~900k in USD) :D
Hoping to fire or work parttime in 5 years (aged 43)

I was having a look at Olympic tickets for 2016 as I saw the info had come out.... Apparently volleyball's the most in demand sport. Brazil is a very strong country in volleyball, after all.

It would be awesome to go there but that would be so expensive (airfares to South America from Sydney are waaaaay expensive for starters). I did however have the opportunity to watch the Olympic volleyball in Sydney back in 2000. And it might have been part of the reason why I still play today. Watching high level volleyball is so amazing. (High level archery on the other hand... Not a spectator sport!) volleyball is very much both a spectator and participant sport.

Ps. I've just spent the last 40 mins or so reading the story of Dagiffy. Omg...
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/just-woke-up-to-discover-i'm-drowning/
Good luck to him and his wife, hope this train wreck can be fixed.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2015, 07:11:10 AM by Gockie »

Cinder

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 468
  • Location: Central PA
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7731 on: April 11, 2015, 02:46:16 PM »
Ps. I've just spent the last 40 mins or so reading the story of Dagiffy. Omg...
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/just-woke-up-to-discover-i'm-drowning/
Good luck to him and his wife, hope this train wreck can be fixed.

Yea, I hadn't even considered one angle till near the end from mefla with .. http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/just-woke-up-to-discover-i%27m-drowning/msg621820/#msg621820

I've fallen into that rut before, not understanding why the logical argument didn't work at all... sometimes it's hard to see how the other side IS really thinking.. I wish them the best!

ender

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4224
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7732 on: April 11, 2015, 03:42:53 PM »
Ps. I've just spent the last 40 mins or so reading the story of Dagiffy. Omg...
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/just-woke-up-to-discover-i'm-drowning/
Good luck to him and his wife, hope this train wreck can be fixed.

Yea, I hadn't even considered one angle till near the end from mefla with .. http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/just-woke-up-to-discover-i%27m-drowning/msg621820/#msg621820

I've fallen into that rut before, not understanding why the logical argument didn't work at all... sometimes it's hard to see how the other side IS really thinking.. I wish them the best!

Everyone is like that to some extent.

Indexer

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1179
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7733 on: April 11, 2015, 07:54:01 PM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

A 30k Mercedes SUV?  I didn't think those all went together in a sentence.  So I looked it up, and yea... 31k for the base model.  That is surprising.  I figured they would cost a lot more.

30k is still insane though.....

Alabaster

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 85
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7734 on: April 11, 2015, 10:04:43 PM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

A 30k Mercedes SUV?  I didn't think those all went together in a sentence.  So I looked it up, and yea... 31k for the base model.  That is surprising.  I figured they would cost a lot more.

30k is still insane though.....

Wait. What? I kind of understand why people buy stupid cars when they graduate from nursing/medical/{generally difficult program} but why would you buy it before you even start?

Malaysia41

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3124
  • Age: 45
  • Location: Verona, Italy
    • My mmm journal
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7735 on: April 11, 2015, 10:24:32 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

I'm a woman and I tend to fall in the straightforward, looking for solutions and feedback category.  I doubt that there's anything particularly innate to gender that would cause someone to prefer one method or another.  And of course we've seen that women make up a large part of this forum and mustachians in general.

However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.

To clarify, I'm not saying All men or women a a certain way.  That's ridiculous.  But anyone who hasn't noticed this trend might have their gender neutrality goggles on

I'm pretty sure intirb is trying to *explain* that trend (to the extent it exists), not deny it. That is, explain it in a way that goes beyond "bitches be crazy."

[edited: clarity]

... beyond 'bitches be crazy.'  LOL.  Wiping my eyes.  Well said.

valk001

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 35
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7736 on: April 12, 2015, 06:57:15 PM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

A 30k Mercedes SUV?  I didn't think those all went together in a sentence.  So I looked it up, and yea... 31k for the base model.  That is surprising.  I figured they would cost a lot more.

30k is still insane though.....

Wait. What? I kind of understand why people buy stupid cars when they graduate from nursing/medical/{generally difficult program} but why would you buy it before you even start?

I have no Idea.  I was losing my mind when she announced it.  I don't want to rain on her special day...but the reality of her decision is going to hit pretty hard.

Mistah Cash Lion

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 73
  • Age: 24
  • Location: Colorado
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7737 on: April 12, 2015, 07:56:02 PM »
I have no Idea.  I was losing my mind when she announced it.  I don't want to rain on her special day...but the reality of her decision is going to hit pretty hard.

Maybe, as her friend, you can gently show her the lack of wisdom this purchase represents? 

dragoncar

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7965
  • Registered member
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7738 on: April 12, 2015, 08:04:25 PM »
I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.

I'm a woman and I tend to fall in the straightforward, looking for solutions and feedback category.  I doubt that there's anything particularly innate to gender that would cause someone to prefer one method or another.  And of course we've seen that women make up a large part of this forum and mustachians in general.

However, there are obviously strong differences in how men and women are socialized and taught to respond to situations, especially conflict.  If someone is used to having feedback presented harshly and without regard to personal feelings (a situation many men are in, because they're taught to ignore their feelings from a very early age), then they can have a hard time recognizing the careful, gentle feedback interspersed within conditional and sympathetic statements.  On the other hand, if someone is used to having feedback presented with care to avoid hurting feelings (a situation many women are in, because they're taught to avoid confrontation from a very early age), then straightforward feedback can feel particularly harsh or even rude.  Personally, I think these socialized gender roles do no one any favors.  It is a valuable life skill to be able to present and understand both gentle and harsh feedback styles and to be flexible in this regard.  It's also a valuable life skill to understand when someone is just venting vs actually asking for advice.  If you're viewing any of these skills as inappropriate or beneath you because they don't fit with your self-constructed gender identity and whatever baggage you've attached to that, I think you're doing yourself a very large disservice by preventing personal growth.

To clarify, I'm not saying All men or women a a certain way.  That's ridiculous.  But anyone who hasn't noticed this trend might have their gender neutrality goggles on

I'm pretty sure intirb is trying to *explain* that trend (to the extent it exists), not deny it. That is, explain it in a way that goes beyond "bitches be crazy."

[edited: clarity]

Ah, makes sense but I still wanted to make sure I wasn't gonna catch flak for something I wasn't trying to say (although I'm fine w/ flak for things I am trying to say).  Still, women be shoppin'.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2015, 10:44:00 PM by dragoncar »

lpep

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 286
  • Location: Hanoi, VN
    • My MMM journal
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7739 on: April 12, 2015, 08:31:56 PM »
^ Saved by Dave Chappelle. No one can be mad at you now.

theadvicist

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1454
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7740 on: April 13, 2015, 03:33:19 AM »

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.


I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm a woman myself, but when I talk with other women, I find them very receptive to constructive suggestions about how they might improve the things they are complaining about. When I do the same with men I find them very dismissive about the suggestions I make (because they don't want to take advice from a woman?). It seems to me that the men are more likely to defend their past (and therefore future actions) with a 'Yeah, but', whereas women are more likely to say, "hmm, I hadn't thought of that".

But of course, that's just my experience. I don't think it's my gender neutrality goggels though, since I have noticed a difference between the sexes, just the other way around. So maybe the gender of the advice giver is important.

rocksinmyhead

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1492
  • Location: Oklahoma
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7741 on: April 13, 2015, 07:08:26 AM »

I think mustachians' often have difficulty understanding "normal" people.

"Normals" voice their problems because they want attention and sympathy, not solutions or suggestions. 

Mustachians voice their problems because they want solutions and feedback, no matter how negative it may be as long as it is constructive.

Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.


I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm a woman myself, but when I talk with other women, I find them very receptive to constructive suggestions about how they might improve the things they are complaining about. When I do the same with men I find them very dismissive about the suggestions I make (because they don't want to take advice from a woman?). It seems to me that the men are more likely to defend their past (and therefore future actions) with a 'Yeah, but', whereas women are more likely to say, "hmm, I hadn't thought of that".

But of course, that's just my experience. I don't think it's my gender neutrality goggels though, since I have noticed a difference between the sexes, just the other way around. So maybe the gender of the advice giver is important.

you know, I actually think you might be on to something, and maybe it ties in with what other folks were saying re. the way men and women tend to give advice/suggestions.

also, I will openly admit that most of the time, when I talk to my boyfriend about my problems, I'm really just processing my emotions out loud and I DO just want empathy and maybe a hug. like, eventually I might be ready for some constructive suggestions but sometimes I just want to get it out... and oddly if I'm really stressed out about a situation, I do tend to see advice from my boyfriend or male friends as more critical, and advice from other women as more helpful.

plus I just process thoughts and emotions really externally in general, which I think does tend to be more of a woman thing. I think more dudes tend to process that stuff internally, so if they are talking about it out loud the only reason is because they legitimately want advice. (obviously this doesn't apply to 100% of men and 100% of women but I think it's fairly common)

interesting discussion! /foam

haven't heard anything dumb out of my coworkers lately. they are a real mixed bag of solid financial decisions and crazy wastefulness.

Sibley

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3081
  • Age: 32
  • Location: Chicago, IL
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7742 on: April 13, 2015, 07:16:31 AM »
A visitor from another department, works with one of my coworkers is taking 2 weeks off in May for vacation. She's going to Vegas for the first week with a group of friends.

"My focus is to spend all my money. Spending money helps me relax."

I really hope she's joking, but I've never met her so have no idea.


zephyr911

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3634
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Northern Alabama
  • I'm just happy to be here. \m/ ^_^ \m/
    • Pinhook Development LLC
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7743 on: April 13, 2015, 08:04:33 AM »
a good fund will have higher fees and will still earns higher total returns
How the fuck can anyone with even a passing interest in investing be so fucking ignorant?
Before I even bought my first stock in 2000, I knew that was false.
From a few weeks of casual reading.
As a college kid.

zephyr911

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3634
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Northern Alabama
  • I'm just happy to be here. \m/ ^_^ \m/
    • Pinhook Development LLC
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7744 on: April 13, 2015, 08:16:52 AM »
Not to get into a gender war here but IMO you could replace "normals" with "women" and "mustachians" with "men".  Flame away.
I'm not flaming you, son. I'm just very disappointed.

Quote
I want work with these people!

What if everything was spiders???
It'd beat the shit out of what I overhear. My CW's are too busy hurrdurring about dem eevul jab-killin, global-warmin-conspurracy-propergatin' liberals to disclose any hilarious financial foibles.

grantmeaname

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4588
  • Age: 26
  • Location: NYC
  • Cast me away from yesterday's things
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7745 on: April 13, 2015, 09:39:46 AM »
It seems to me that the men are more likely to defend their past (and therefore future actions) with a 'Yeah, but', whereas women are more likely to say, "hmm, I hadn't thought of that". [...] So maybe the gender of the advice giver is important.
I don't know you so this opinion is worth exactly what you paid for it. But when I look at the way I act, or my observations of people of any gender, I think people respond with "Yeah, but..." when they feel attacked and "hmm, I hadn't thought of that" when they feel they're being accepted. It could be that men and women are hearing different things when you offer the "same" criticism to both of them, or that you behave differently towards men than you do women. I don't think it's anything as simple as that women accept criticism and men don't.

also, I will openly admit that most of the time, when I talk to my boyfriend about my problems, I'm really just processing my emotions out loud and I DO just want empathy and maybe a hug. like, eventually I might be ready for some constructive suggestions but sometimes I just want to get it out... and oddly if I'm really stressed out about a situation, I do tend to see advice from my boyfriend or male friends as more critical, and advice from other women as more helpful.

plus I just process thoughts and emotions really externally in general, which I think does tend to be more of a woman thing. I think more dudes tend to process that stuff internally, so if they are talking about it out loud the only reason is because they legitimately want advice. (obviously this doesn't apply to 100% of men and 100% of women but I think it's fairly common)
This is an interesting point and it's got me thinking. I don't buy for a second that dudes don't process things externally. I think maybe one difference (in my experience) is that guys tend to more explicitly tag things - "Hey, I've been mulling this one over, what do you think?" when they're asking for suggestions or "Listen to this" when they want just a sympathetic ear. SWMBO brings up problems because she wants solutions sometimes and because she wants sympathy other times, and doesn't communicate which situation it is [in a way I understand]. Other close female friends of mine make it pretty clear.

UnleashHell

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4969
  • Age: 51
  • Location: Florida
  • Chapter IV - A New ... er.. something
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7746 on: April 13, 2015, 09:46:00 AM »
It'd beat the shit out of what I overhear. My CW's are too busy hurrdurring about dem eevul jab-killin, global-warmin-conspurracy-propergatin' liberals to disclose any hilarious financial foibles.
Do you work in my office? Got a few here who are so anti Obama they’d hurt themselves rather say anything positive about any policy.

Two of them are totally anti the affordable care act. And all of its provisions. We are in the process of moving a lot of work abroad and the two of them are high on the list for not being needed anymore. So they’ll need new jobs and new healthcare.  Luckily for them under the ACA their pre existing conditions will be covered. Because of ACA – and both of them have had cancer. Yet they still refuse to admit that anything in the ACA might be good because Obama started it.

What a pair of fucktards.

Beaker

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 336
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7747 on: April 13, 2015, 09:53:13 AM »
What if everything was spiders???

Well, not exactly an answer to that question, but related...

http://what-if.xkcd.com/136/

eyePod

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 967
    • Flipping A Dollar
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7748 on: April 13, 2015, 10:32:01 AM »
One of my friends just announced that she is going to start nursing school next year and to reward her self she is buying a brand new Mercedes GLA, a 30K SUV....I just left the room, I did not want to ruin her moment but wow...

Oh wow. And here I am, have been debating whether I should spend $300 to be in the Australian volleyball supporters club which will give me a ticket to every international men's and women's volleyball match in Australia this year (up to 10 matches!) plus a replica Jersey.... The men wil have two games against Brazil in my home town, and Brazil are going to be very strong next year at their home Olympics. It's not bad value given the best seats for one event go for about $85... I think I'll commit. :)

Please do. That is fantastic! I'd love to be able to watch that much volleyball.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3616
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #7749 on: April 13, 2015, 10:51:02 AM »
A visitor from another department, works with one of my coworkers is taking 2 weeks off in May for vacation. She's going to Vegas for the first week with a group of friends.

"My focus is to spend all my money. Spending money helps me relax."

I really hope she's joking, but I've never met her so have no idea.

That's funny, spending money has the opposite effect on me.