Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 8457174 times)

mtn

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15850 on: November 22, 2016, 11:04:25 AM »
I don't understand the question?  For me, I didn't get any excess stuff - we used everything that we got as gifts and in fact, wore some of them out (of course, we've been married 20 years now).
Funny story:  In my wife's hometown, there's one particular store that traditionally got most of the wedding registry business.  This particular store does registries a bit different than most stores.  DW and I, however, registered at Target and Walmart.  The locals, bless their hearts, didn't understand how the registries worked, and as a result, we got six hand mixers and 30+ towels. :)  We returned all but one mixer, and have yet to purchase a towel in >13 years of marriage!

Towels are one of those things that I feel like you can never have enough of.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15851 on: November 22, 2016, 11:50:57 AM »
I don't understand the question?  For me, I didn't get any excess stuff - we used everything that we got as gifts and in fact, wore some of them out (of course, we've been married 20 years now).
Funny story:  In my wife's hometown, there's one particular store that traditionally got most of the wedding registry business.  This particular store does registries a bit different than most stores.  DW and I, however, registered at Target and Walmart.  The locals, bless their hearts, didn't understand how the registries worked, and as a result, we got six hand mixers and 30+ towels. :)  We returned all but one mixer, and have yet to purchase a towel in >13 years of marriage!

Towels are one of those things that I feel like you can never have enough of.

I've always been of the opinion that any more than one is wasteful

My wedding registry, though, was like all popcorn makers.  Big ones, little ones, wifi connected ones.

Half-Borg

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15852 on: November 22, 2016, 02:18:40 PM »
wifi connected ones.
Welcome to the internet of shitty things, where your toilet tells your fridge to buy less dairy and your toaster is DDoSing the NSA.

shadowmoss

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15853 on: November 22, 2016, 03:04:20 PM »
Hopefully the toaster is using an anonymous proxy server to do the DDoSing.  At that point I'm all for it, where can I get one of those?  I'll pay extra if I can get it to point to selected people as the actual source, a former boss comes to mind.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15854 on: November 22, 2016, 06:13:23 PM »
Hopefully the toaster is using an anonymous proxy server to do the DDoSing.  At that point I'm all for it, where can I get one of those?  I'll pay extra if I can get it to point to selected people as the actual source, a former boss comes to mind.

I think in this scenario you are the "anonymous proxy" used by someone else, and they are pointing to you as the actual source.  Because your toaster got hacked because you tried to watch porn on your blender.

With This Herring

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15855 on: November 22, 2016, 08:50:12 PM »
Because your toaster got hacked because you tried to watch porn on your blender.

THIS.  This is why I follow this thread.

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15856 on: November 22, 2016, 09:09:54 PM »
Back to overheard at work...

Groupon Eyebrows von Spendypants (is that what we named her?) brought lunch from home today, yay.

It was a $5 tub of pre-packaged soup, so not as cheap as cooking a batch of soup, but I'm hoping it represents progress on her behalf.

appleblossom

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15857 on: November 23, 2016, 02:13:30 AM »
...it is gross to ask for specific gifts from your friends and family that you have no intention of keeping at the time that you ask for them, but intend from the start to return for cash.

A friend just messaged me in horror because she received an invitation to a baby shower accompanied by a two-page list of requested gifts, and instructions to let the couple know in advance what gift they would be bringing to avoid duplication.

She sent me pictures of the list: all the big ticket items (pram, car seat, cot, bassinet) plus very specific instructions and quantities for the smaller items. (E.g. 6 x bottles in y age range.)

The blatant gift grab and air of entitlement makes my skin crawl.

My friend picked some of the cheaper items on the list (specific brands of nappy cream and moisturiser) but any enthusiasm she had for her friend's baby shower and the pregnancy in general is out the window.

My baby shower is this weekend and I didn't want to do a registry, but I was asked by a few people so I ended up putting together a short list at one of the baby stores. My partner pointed out that given that people wanted to give us things, it was stupid to turn them down.
That said I think the most expensive item was $60, and most were around $20. I would be embarrassed to expect others to spend lots on my child.

Most baby showers here are pretty casual, usually an afternoon tea with catering provided by the organisers.
I did go to one last year where the guests had to pay $20 each for food and drinks in addition to taking a gift. And it was at someones house not a restuarant. That felt cheap. I would have preferred to make a cake (and I did offer) but they had their heart set on catering. It wasn't even that good.

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15858 on: November 23, 2016, 03:31:49 AM »
My baby shower is this weekend and I didn't want to do a registry, but I was asked by a few people so I ended up putting together a short list at one of the baby stores. My partner pointed out that given that people wanted to give us things, it was stupid to turn them down.

I have no problem with having a list in mind for when people approach you for ideas. It's sending out a list, unsolicited, with invitations that makes me uncomfortable.

(I always ask friends what they want/need. If someone sent me a list of demands, I would run the other way.)

Metric Mouse

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15859 on: November 23, 2016, 03:35:25 AM »
This is why you use a registry - they keep track of what has been bought, and what hasn't yet been bought. People buying gifts can see the status too.

I once went to a bridal shower where the happy couple received four popcorn makers (out of a total of maybe 2 dozen gifts). That's when I started to appreciate the worth of a registry.

One for each bathroom?

Certainly would smell better than most of those candles they sell.

LennStar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15860 on: November 23, 2016, 06:01:05 AM »
This is why you use a registry - they keep track of what has been bought, and what hasn't yet been bought. People buying gifts can see the status too.

I once went to a bridal shower where the happy couple received four popcorn makers (out of a total of maybe 2 dozen gifts). That's when I started to appreciate the worth of a registry.

One for each bathroom?

Certainly would smell better than most of those candles they sell.
Sometimes I hate it that you cant upvote posts here. This is one of those times. I have never smelled a good smelling perfum candle.

Half-Borg

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15861 on: November 23, 2016, 06:31:17 AM »
I once went to IKEA with my former girlfriend. every few steps she would pick up a candle, hold it under my nose and ask "It smells nice, doesn't it? Smell the candle!"
I'm never going to take a women to IKEA again, especially not on a Saturday.

Linda_Norway

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15862 on: November 23, 2016, 07:36:25 AM »
My (female) boss and another female colleague were announcing that they were going to go bananas in shopping tomorrow, because of Black Friday.

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15863 on: November 23, 2016, 07:59:18 AM »
I once went to IKEA with my former girlfriend. every few steps she would pick up a candle, hold it under my nose and ask "It smells nice, doesn't it? Smell the candle!"
I'm never going to take a women to IKEA again, especially not on a Saturday.

Oh, how I love it when people use one anecdote of one single instance of behavior by one single person to mock an entire group of people. I mean, this dude at work chews with his mouth open. CLEARLY I'm never eating at a table with any man ever again. (sarcasm, if that was unclear)

That said, avoiding Ikea on a Saturday is +++ good advice, regardless of company.

SeaEhm

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15864 on: November 23, 2016, 08:08:25 AM »
I once went to IKEA with my former girlfriend. every few steps she would pick up a candle, hold it under my nose and ask "It smells nice, doesn't it? Smell the candle!"
I'm never going to take a women to IKEA again, especially not on a Saturday.

Oh, how I love it when people use one anecdote of one single instance of behavior by one single person to mock an entire group of people. I mean, this dude at work chews with his mouth open. CLEARLY I'm never eating at a table with any man ever again. (sarcasm, if that was unclear)

That said, avoiding Ikea on a Saturday is +++ good advice, regardless of company.

Wow!  I have seen the same issues as both of you!  Therefore, I will never bring anyone, even myself, to Ikea because I can't stand smelling everything and then eating those delicious meatballs with my mouth open.

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15865 on: November 23, 2016, 08:29:35 AM »
My (female) boss and another female colleague were announcing that they were going to go bananas in shopping tomorrow, because of Black Friday.

I'll be sniping Craigslist on Monday because of all the perfectly good things people are replacing on Black Friday.

I actually AM going to go shopping on Black Friday. Justification: we're Canadian - our Thanksgiving was a month ago, I don't know how this massive sale entered our lives, but here we are. I need 3 meters of a specific fabric to finish 2 Christmas gifts, which will be 50% off on Friday. And the fabric store is 3 blocks from my work, so I can walk there at lunch and finish my Christmas presents for 50% less than if I went today. (I also have a list of projects I want to finish in the next 4 months and what I'd need to finish them - if I can get the material for 50% of the usual cost, I will.)

... I'm assuming this is not what people mean when they say people 'go wild shopping', though. ;)

Chris22

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15866 on: November 23, 2016, 08:31:45 AM »
I actually AM going to go shopping on Black Friday.

Me too.  I need to buy all the door/window casing, baseboards, and doors to finish my basement.  If I paint it on Friday, I can spend Saturday and Sunday installing it.  Win.

Half-Borg

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15867 on: November 23, 2016, 08:37:55 AM »
I once went to IKEA with my former girlfriend. every few steps she would pick up a candle, hold it under my nose and ask "It smells nice, doesn't it? Smell the candle!"
I'm never going to take a women to IKEA again, especially not on a Saturday.

Oh, how I love it when people use one anecdote of one single instance of behavior by one single person to mock an entire group of people. I mean, this dude at work chews with his mouth open. CLEARLY I'm never eating at a table with any man ever again. (sarcasm, if that was unclear)

That said, avoiding Ikea on a Saturday is +++ good advice, regardless of company.

Wow!  I have seen the same issues as both of you!  Therefore, I will never bring anyone, even myself, to Ikea because I can't stand smelling everything and then eating those delicious meatballs with my mouth open.
IKEA is fine, one should avoid people.

mm1970

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15868 on: November 23, 2016, 09:43:49 AM »
I once went to IKEA with my former girlfriend. every few steps she would pick up a candle, hold it under my nose and ask "It smells nice, doesn't it? Smell the candle!"
I'm never going to take a women to IKEA again, especially not on a Saturday.

Oh, how I love it when people use one anecdote of one single instance of behavior by one single person to mock an entire group of people. I mean, this dude at work chews with his mouth open. CLEARLY I'm never eating at a table with any man ever again. (sarcasm, if that was unclear)

That said, avoiding Ikea on a Saturday is +++ good advice, regardless of company.

First, I don't get the candle thing.  At all. I have a friend who used to manage a candle store.  He's moved on from there.  I wouldn't even HAVE candles except for the occasional time we lose power. So we have these two massive candles that our neighbor offloaded onto us.  Will probably still be in this house when we die. 

Ikea, sorta glad it's a long drive away. I'd forgotten what they were like.  We stopped in one on a vacation once (for lunch, really).  I also decided to buy an egg slicer, as mine had broken. Found it first thing but what a chore to find my way out...

Linda_Norway

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15869 on: November 23, 2016, 11:31:15 AM »
I actually AM going to go shopping on Black Friday.

Me too.  I need to buy all the door/window casing, baseboards, and doors to finish my basement.  If I paint it on Friday, I can spend Saturday and Sunday installing it.  Win.

Of course I understand both of you. A good sale can be smart if you actually need something. But some people just go to the sale because it is cheap and they try to find something they want to buy. That sounds pretty meaningless to me.

Chris22

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15870 on: November 23, 2016, 11:42:35 AM »
I actually AM going to go shopping on Black Friday.

Me too.  I need to buy all the door/window casing, baseboards, and doors to finish my basement.  If I paint it on Friday, I can spend Saturday and Sunday installing it.  Win.

Of course I understand both of you. A good sale can be smart if you actually need something. But some people just go to the sale because it is cheap and they try to find something they want to buy. That sounds pretty meaningless to me.

I don't think my stuff is on sale or really goes on sale, it's just a useful chunk of free time having the holiday. 

Also, most people's Black Friday shopping is for Christmas gifts; personally I'd rather claw my eyes out than go shopping for gifts at the store, that's what Amazon is for.

Half-Borg

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15871 on: November 23, 2016, 12:08:07 PM »
And obviously Amazon would never participate in such a silly Black Friday Sales Pitch

honeybbq

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15872 on: November 23, 2016, 12:20:49 PM »
The other day at work:

I: "You have a slow cooker, food processor, and blender, right?"



I have all of these, AND an instant pot (though I'm considering ditching my slow cooker).

I bought them all and use them all.

I love my appliances, what can I say. I also have a mixer and an immersion blender and a rice cooker and.... more things. LOL. But I love them and use them all.
« Last Edit: November 23, 2016, 12:26:19 PM by honeybbq »

force majeure

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15873 on: November 23, 2016, 12:22:50 PM »
Theres a stupid fuck who works in my building, always gets a takeaway lunch $5 - 8.
On top of that, he smokes, and is on sub $30K.
I see lots of this self destructive behaviour around me.

Prairie Stash

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15874 on: November 23, 2016, 12:25:46 PM »
I actually AM going to go shopping on Black Friday.

Me too.  I need to buy all the door/window casing, baseboards, and doors to finish my basement.  If I paint it on Friday, I can spend Saturday and Sunday installing it.  Win.

Of course I understand both of you. A good sale can be smart if you actually need something. But some people just go to the sale because it is cheap and they try to find something they want to buy. That sounds pretty meaningless to me.
Its the basis for the entire board, isn't that meaningful? Besides, think of my (your?) U.S. ETF, I'm heavily invested in Americans spending.

My local hardware resale (they take in building supplies and sell them)is having a 50% off sale on Saturday. I'm wondering if they expect an influx Friday and need more space...

horsepoor

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15875 on: November 23, 2016, 12:42:44 PM »
I actually AM going to go shopping on Black Friday.

Me too.  I need to buy all the door/window casing, baseboards, and doors to finish my basement.  If I paint it on Friday, I can spend Saturday and Sunday installing it.  Win.

WinCo is where I'm going on Friday.  Half price turkeys, and the store will be empty in case I'm inclined to do any other grocery shopping while I'm there.  Maybe turkey sammich fixin's.

Prairie Stash

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15876 on: November 23, 2016, 12:55:04 PM »
The other day at work:

I: "You have a slow cooker, food processor, and blender, right?"



I have all of these, AND an instant pot (though I'm considering ditching my slow cooker).

I bought them all and use them all.

I love my appliances, what can I say. I also have a mixer and an immersion blender and a rice cooker and.... more things. LOL. But I love them and use them all.
In Canada you are not allowed to use a slow cooker until you are married, its the requisite wedding gift*. You are not legally allowed to own one before marriage, otherwise gift givers have nothing to present you on your wedding day (imagine the confusion). From your post you are either married or in blatant violation of the wedding gift registry act of 1970 (it was amended in 1990 to allow slow cookers in colours other than orange, yellow and green**). The law is such that all married people end up with one, even if its your second marriage in case the other party took it in the divorce. Most people don't ask about the details of divvying up slow cookers, its too painful to mention, Canadians are known for their politeness.

The ancient tradition is that the number of slow cookers received is used to predict the number of children you will have. It's like candles on a child birthday cake, those predict with 100% accuracy the quantity of amorous relationships the child is in.

*In some ways Canada is uptight about gifts, but at least its open with marriage equality.
**Obviously a jest, it was never amended and slow cookers should be in standard 1970's colours. 

Half-Borg

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15877 on: November 23, 2016, 01:11:12 PM »
It's like candles on a child birthday cake, those predict with 100% accuracy the quantity of amorous relationships the child is in.
I gotta have a talk with my now 20 year old sister.

MichaelB

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15878 on: November 23, 2016, 01:35:27 PM »
It's like candles on a child birthday cake, those predict with 100% accuracy the quantity of amorous relationships the child is in.
I gotta have a talk with my now 20 year old sister.

Get in line--sounds like her schedule's pretty full.

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15879 on: November 23, 2016, 01:41:30 PM »
It's like candles on a child birthday cake, those predict with 100% accuracy the quantity of amorous relationships the child is in.
I gotta have a talk with my now 20 year old sister.

Get in line--sounds like her schedule's pretty full.

Pfft, everyone needs some ambition.

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15880 on: November 23, 2016, 02:39:51 PM »
**Obviously a jest, it was never amended and slow cookers should be in standard 1970's colours.

Prairie Stash, you win the internet today.

plainjane

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15881 on: November 24, 2016, 10:44:33 AM »
In Canada [...]
The ancient tradition is that the number of slow cookers received is used to predict the number of children you will have.

I was going to say, I didn't receive a slow cooker at our wedding, and we still don't have one.  But we also have no kids, so that's all fine then.

In work news, I made biscuits for my SO's work potluck today (to celebrate that the primary clients won't be emailing anyone), and I'm taking bets as to how many of the 11 are coming back home.  Currently I think 2, so we can both have Southern bennies for dinner: biscuits, ham, gravy, spinach & a poached egg.

Fomerly known as something

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15882 on: November 24, 2016, 05:25:15 PM »
...it is gross to ask for specific gifts from your friends and family that you have no intention of keeping at the time that you ask for them, but intend from the start to return for cash.

A friend just messaged me in horror because she received an invitation to a baby shower accompanied by a two-page list of requested gifts, and instructions to let the couple know in advance what gift they would be bringing to avoid duplication.

She sent me pictures of the list: all the big ticket items (pram, car seat, cot, bassinet) plus very specific instructions and quantities for the smaller items. (E.g. 6 x bottles in y age range.)

The blatant gift grab and air of entitlement makes my skin crawl.

My friend picked some of the cheaper items on the list (specific brands of nappy cream and moisturiser) but any enthusiasm she had for her friend's baby shower and the pregnancy in general is out the window.

My baby shower is this weekend and I didn't want to do a registry, but I was asked by a few people so I ended up putting together a short list at one of the baby stores. My partner pointed out that given that people wanted to give us things, it was stupid to turn them down.
That said I think the most expensive item was $60, and most were around $20. I would be embarrassed to expect others to spend lots on my child.

Most baby showers here are pretty casual, usually an afternoon tea with catering provided by the organisers.
I did go to one last year where the guests had to pay $20 each for food and drinks in addition to taking a gift. And it was at someones house not a restuarant. That felt cheap. I would have preferred to make a cake (and I did offer) but they had their heart set on catering. It wasn't even that good.

To me big items especially for babies = a group gift.  So instead of My mom, my sister and I all getting a $20-50 gift we may go in together and buy that stroller.

ghsebldr

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15883 on: November 24, 2016, 08:26:43 PM »
Changing post to this.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2017, 05:36:18 PM by ghsebldr »

marion10

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15884 on: November 24, 2016, 08:35:00 PM »
How is helping him get a loan helping him?

ghsebldr

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15885 on: November 24, 2016, 08:44:57 PM »
Nothing to see here, move along.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2017, 05:36:52 PM by ghsebldr »

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15886 on: November 25, 2016, 02:50:23 AM »
  I thought I was helping these kids (early 30s ) out but I guess there is no helping folks that won't let you help.

 Any suggestions?

Stop. You can't help people more than they will help themselves. Many people here have been in your place before (including me).

Let them know that you will help them with their budget once they have tracked their spending for one month. All their spending. Every cent. For 31 days. You will require an opening balance, every transaction and a closing balance. If they don't match then you don't have the data so can't help them.

If they won't do this then they won't do anything else you suggest so don't waste your time. This isn't mean, this is practical.

It's great that you want to help these people, but you can't do the work for them. There are people on these boards who are in their 20's and have their shit together, there are people referenced on this Wall in their 80's that will never have their shit together.

Have a search for theGrimSqueaker's posts. There is more wisdom there about what does and does not work for helping people than I could learn in eight lifetimes.

Docwhowantstoslowdown

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15887 on: November 25, 2016, 07:51:08 AM »
I must have a sick sense of fun because I always enjoy reading these and shaking my head.

In the doctor world, these stories are very common as well and it always amazes me.  I am a half time doc in my 30s doctor who works about 8 days a month.  I make good money doing it and can easily pay for everything that I need and much more.

I had a doctor approach me last week about how I was able to go half time. I told him a few basics of how I worked really hard for a few years, paid off all my loans, etc.  He said that he really was interested in that path but that he couldn't consider it now because of his student loan debt.  I basically told him to work like hell to pay that off and start building some serious savings.

Fast forward a week and I pull up into the doctors parking lot in my 2005 Highlander and there is a brand new GM Sierra Double Cab truck with his vanity plates on it.  I walk in and ask him about it and he tells me that it's a great truck and he got it for only $45,000.  He then told me that it wasn't going to delay his retirement at all because he can make the payments.

I held back and didn't facepunch the guy but just walked away shaking my head.


kayvent

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15888 on: November 25, 2016, 08:13:53 AM »
I must have a sick sense of fun because I always enjoy reading these and shaking my head.

In the doctor world, these stories are very common as well and it always amazes me.  I am a half time doc in my 30s doctor who works about 8 days a month.  I make good money doing it and can easily pay for everything that I need and much more.

I had a doctor approach me last week about how I was able to go half time. I told him a few basics of how I worked really hard for a few years, paid off all my loans, etc.  He said that he really was interested in that path but that he couldn't consider it now because of his student loan debt.  I basically told him to work like hell to pay that off and start building some serious savings.

Fast forward a week and I pull up into the doctors parking lot in my 2005 Highlander and there is a brand new GM Sierra Double Cab truck with his vanity plates on it.  I walk in and ask him about it and he tells me that it's a great truck and he got it for only $45,000.  He then told me that it wasn't going to delay his retirement at all because he can make the payments.

I held back and didn't facepunch the guy but just walked away shaking my head.

I don't know your relationship with your colleague but I would have been critical, but kind, at this moment. I'd have said something like "If you'd have gotten a 35,000$ vehicle instead, then over the next 5 years you'd have been able to put 10,000$ against your student loans that we talked about or taken more time off." Opportunity cost is a very real cost that many people (I at times too) often overlook and are uneducated on.

Docwhowantstoslowdown

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15889 on: November 25, 2016, 10:39:07 AM »
I must have a sick sense of fun because I always enjoy reading these and shaking my head.

In the doctor world, these stories are very common as well and it always amazes me.  I am a half time doc in my 30s doctor who works about 8 days a month.  I make good money doing it and can easily pay for everything that I need and much more.

I had a doctor approach me last week about how I was able to go half time. I told him a few basics of how I worked really hard for a few years, paid off all my loans, etc.  He said that he really was interested in that path but that he couldn't consider it now because of his student loan debt.  I basically told him to work like hell to pay that off and start building some serious savings.

Fast forward a week and I pull up into the doctors parking lot in my 2005 Highlander and there is a brand new GM Sierra Double Cab truck with his vanity plates on it.  I walk in and ask him about it and he tells me that it's a great truck and he got it for only $45,000.  He then told me that it wasn't going to delay his retirement at all because he can make the payments.

I held back and didn't facepunch the guy but just walked away shaking my head.

I don't know your relationship with your colleague but I would have been critical, but kind, at this moment. I'd have said something like "If you'd have gotten a 35,000$ vehicle instead, then over the next 5 years you'd have been able to put 10,000$ against your student loans that we talked about or taken more time off." Opportunity cost is a very real cost that many people (I at times too) often overlook and are uneducated on.

Maybe. I have a really hard time not being judgmental in situations like that and just thought it was better to let him be. 

kayvent

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15890 on: November 25, 2016, 01:35:09 PM »
Maybe. I have a really hard time not being judgmental in situations like that and just thought it was better to let him be.

This gets me in trouble but I wouldn't call that being judgmental. If my daughter wasn't paying attention and crossed the street while a car is about to cross her path, grabbing her by whatever I can reach quick enough and yanking her back to safety is quiet likely to hurt her badly. That would not make me a rough parent though. It would make me a loving parent.

For someone you love, you want the best for them. For someone you love, you seek to edify them and rebuke them when they make a mistake. Similarly, you hope that those whom love you have words like a refiner's fire: that it removes impurities from you and strengthens you. (I feel devastated when I find out that I've been making a mistake and no one around me fills me in until much time has progressed.)  I don't know your relationship with your colleague but for me I try to love my work colleagues.

The line between so-called 'tough love' and being judgmental is a hard one; I've found a smile and looking forwards tends to clue the listener into the fact that I'm trying to be nice.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2016, 01:38:09 PM by kayvent »

gimp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15891 on: November 25, 2016, 08:19:16 PM »
Yeah, but he doesn't love the other guy, they're just coworkers.

Docwhowantstoslowdown

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15892 on: November 26, 2016, 08:15:27 AM »
I guess I could have had a little more guidance but the guy is a GAM and just a guy a work with. Not exactly a close friend or relative.  He had already bought the truck and can make his own decisions. I think that sometimes the frugality brand comes off as arrogant and I try really hard not to be that way.  I've bitten my tongue on my than a few occasions in the doctors lounge when money comes up.


frugalnacho

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15893 on: November 26, 2016, 10:37:20 AM »
Maybe. I have a really hard time not being judgmental in situations like that and just thought it was better to let him be.

This gets me in trouble but I wouldn't call that being judgmental. If my daughter wasn't paying attention and crossed the street while a car is about to cross her path, grabbing her by whatever I can reach quick enough and yanking her back to safety is quiet likely to hurt her badly. That would not make me a rough parent though. It would make me a loving parent.

For someone you love, you want the best for them. For someone you love, you seek to edify them and rebuke them when they make a mistake. Similarly, you hope that those whom love you have words like a refiner's fire: that it removes impurities from you and strengthens you. (I feel devastated when I find out that I've been making a mistake and no one around me fills me in until much time has progressed.)  I don't know your relationship with your colleague but for me I try to love my work colleagues.

The line between so-called 'tough love' and being judgmental is a hard one; I've found a smile and looking forwards tends to clue the listener into the fact that I'm trying to be nice.

He did though.  He explained the basics to him and told him how to achieve his goals, and he turned around and bought a $45k suv with vanity license plates. 

You might feel stupid when you realize you've been making a mistake, but when you look back on it and people did warn you about and your response was basically "fuck off I know what I'm doing" can you really be that mad at them?

BuffaloStache

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15894 on: November 26, 2016, 08:06:12 PM »
You might feel stupid when you realize you've been making a mistake, but when you look back on it and people did warn you about and your response was basically "fuck off I know what I'm doing" can you really be that mad at them?

I feel like this was me in my early 20's. What a difference even 5 years can make.

arebelspy

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15895 on: November 26, 2016, 09:12:47 PM »
You might feel stupid when you realize you've been making a mistake, but when you look back on it and people did warn you about and your response was basically "fuck off I know what I'm doing" can you really be that mad at them?

I feel like this was me in my early 20's. What a difference even 5 years can make.

I think most of us have been there.  :)

Saw a funny instance of this on the forums the other day.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, and now travel the world full time with two kids.
If you want to know more about me, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (occasionally) blog at AdventuringAlong.com.
You can also read my forum "Journal."

lostamonkey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15896 on: November 27, 2016, 09:00:32 PM »
Maybe. I have a really hard time not being judgmental in situations like that and just thought it was better to let him be.

I don't know your relationship with your colleague but for me I try to love my work colleagues.


This seems a bit odd. I try to be friendly to my work colleagues but I certainly don't love them.

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15897 on: November 28, 2016, 01:00:34 AM »
Maybe. I have a really hard time not being judgmental in situations like that and just thought it was better to let him be.
I don't know your relationship with your colleague but for me I try to love my work colleagues.
This seems a bit odd. I try to be friendly to my work colleagues but I certainly don't love them.

I suspect this is about different uses of the word 'love' rather than a romantic entanglement with every colleague. The Greek word agape, translates to love in English but the meaning is closer to caring for a fellow human or charitable feeling towards everyone.

Some religions have a concept of finding something to love about every person or expressing (charitable) love to all humans.

You may well be describing the same thing but using words differently.

arebelspy

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15898 on: November 28, 2016, 01:31:10 AM »
Maybe. I have a really hard time not being judgmental in situations like that and just thought it was better to let him be.
I don't know your relationship with your colleague but for me I try to love my work colleagues.
This seems a bit odd. I try to be friendly to my work colleagues but I certainly don't love them.

I suspect this is about different uses of the word 'love' rather than a romantic entanglement with every colleague. The Greek word agape, translates to love in English but the meaning is closer to caring for a fellow human or charitable feeling towards everyone.

Some religions have a concept of finding something to love about every person or expressing (charitable) love to all humans.

You may well be describing the same thing but using words differently.
It's a lot more fun picturing them trying to set up secret trysts with 47 different people, both male and female.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, and now travel the world full time with two kids.
If you want to know more about me, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (occasionally) blog at AdventuringAlong.com.
You can also read my forum "Journal."

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #15899 on: November 28, 2016, 02:05:23 AM »
Maybe. I have a really hard time not being judgmental in situations like that and just thought it was better to let him be.
I don't know your relationship with your colleague but for me I try to love my work colleagues.
This seems a bit odd. I try to be friendly to my work colleagues but I certainly don't love them.

I suspect this is about different uses of the word 'love' rather than a romantic entanglement with every colleague. The Greek word agape, translates to love in English but the meaning is closer to caring for a fellow human or charitable feeling towards everyone.

Some religions have a concept of finding something to love about every person or expressing (charitable) love to all humans.

You may well be describing the same thing but using words differently.
It's a lot more fun picturing them trying to set up secret trysts with 47 different people, both male and female.

So that's what people mean when they say they enjoy their work too much to retire...