Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 4762491 times)

ohyonghao

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12050 on: January 22, 2016, 01:39:43 PM »
I know a couple bilingual jokes, but you have to know Chinese (Mandarin) and Taiwanese to get them.

It essentially goes like:
Me: "What's the world's coldest animal?"
Them: (most people guess penguin, or polar bear, or something of that nature)
Me: "No, it's a duck"
Them: "Why is it a duck?"
Me: "Because, quack quack quack"

The Chinese word for the sound a duck makes happens to be the Taiwanese word for cold.

Though my favorite one is to ask a group of English students how to say "serve" in Taiwanese :-D.  Chinese is Fa Qiu, and Taiwanese it is Feh Cue.  Had another teacher come up and ask me why all the kids were saying "Fuck you".

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12051 on: January 22, 2016, 02:31:26 PM »
I'll admit I am somewhat picky about which hotels I stay at when I travel for work.  When I'm traveling for meetings most meals with co-workers are kind of a dietary disaster, so I really prefer to get a hotel that has a mini-fridge so I can pack some things like carrot sticks, yogurt, hard boiled eggs, etc.

Wait, you're able to get yogurt through airport security?  How have you managed this feat?  Or are you buying once you get there or driving?

Protip: the TSA is entirely incompetent and does not improve security. I bring yogurt on planes half the time I fly. I never put my liquids in plastic bags. The only trouble I've had with food is when I made burritos wrapped in aluminum foil.

More tips for dealing with the TSA:
1. Be white.
2. Don't look Arab.
3. Have a comically white name.
4. Don't have any Muslim-sounding words in your name.

(Not the way it should be, but it's the way it is.)

jda1984

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12052 on: January 22, 2016, 02:53:35 PM »
I know a couple bilingual jokes, but you have to know Chinese (Mandarin) and Taiwanese to get them.

It essentially goes like:
Me: "What's the world's coldest animal?"
Them: (most people guess penguin, or polar bear, or something of that nature)
Me: "No, it's a duck"
Them: "Why is it a duck?"
Me: "Because, quack quack quack"

The Chinese word for the sound a duck makes happens to be the Taiwanese word for cold.

Though my favorite one is to ask a group of English students how to say "serve" in Taiwanese :-D.  Chinese is Fa Qiu, and Taiwanese it is Feh Cue.  Had another teacher come up and ask me why all the kids were saying "Fuck you".

My wife's family spent a significant amount of time in Germany so she and her family speak decent German (her parents and brother were there ~13 years, she was there about 8, both she and her brother learned languages, English and German, there).  I like to make German-English bilingual jokes, but they end up being lame when you have to explain them to others.

LennStar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12053 on: January 22, 2016, 03:15:40 PM »
My wife's family spent a significant amount of time in Germany so she and her family speak decent German (her parents and brother were there ~13 years, she was there about 8, both she and her brother learned languages, English and German, there).  I like to make German-English bilingual jokes, but they end up being lame when you have to explain them to others.

Feel free to share them anyway, if someone does not understand them, kann er mal deinen Buckel runterrutschen ;)

maco

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12054 on: January 22, 2016, 03:21:30 PM »
I have a story that works best when I tell it to someone who speaks both English and American Sign Language, because then I can caption the Italian portions with my hands.

We were visiting our ancestral town in Italy, and as we're sitting at the nurse's station in the hospital while they call our cousin to tell him "hey, come in on your day off and pick up your American cousins," one of the psych patients wanders in. He starts trying to hit on my sister. My brother and I both speak enough Spanish to muddle through Italian, but my sister is hopeless with languages. So we're translating for her. He tells her she's "bella" (beautiful). She grins and very confidently says "prego!" at which point me, my brother, and the nurses, all lose it. She has no idea why we're laughing.

Prego = you're welcome

She meant "grazie"

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12055 on: January 22, 2016, 03:25:20 PM »

More tips for dealing with the TSA:
1. Be white.  <----- CHECK
2. Don't look Arab.<------CHECK
3. Have a comically white name. <-------- CHECK
4. Don't have any Muslim-sounding words in your name. <------- CHECK

(Not the way it should be, but it's the way it is.)

Added to that list - do not be reading "Understanding the Quran" on your way through the airport.

I'm so going to be that guy. Granted, every time I've tried to get screened, my poor GF always winds up being 'Random White Female'. And then I laugh at her in front of the rest of the line of people, and make comments degrading the concept of TSA doing anything. Still haven't been screened personally though.
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Mermaid3011

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12056 on: January 22, 2016, 04:54:28 PM »
My wife's family spent a significant amount of time in Germany so she and her family speak decent German (her parents and brother were there ~13 years, she was there about 8, both she and her brother learned languages, English and German, there).  I like to make German-English bilingual jokes, but they end up being lame when you have to explain them to others.

Feel free to share them anyway, if someone does not understand them, kann er mal deinen Buckel runterrutschen ;)

GENAU!!!

onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12057 on: January 22, 2016, 04:57:50 PM »
I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.

ohyonghao

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12058 on: January 22, 2016, 05:47:38 PM »
I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.

Reminds me of a T-shirt a Canadian friend of mine got a lot of hate over:
"There are no Kangaroos in Austria"
With a yellow triangle and a black silhouette of a kangaroo.

Also, along sort of the same line, a funny way to reply to people in Taiwan who say, "Thank you", a response is, "No Q".  It's a play on how they pronounce the th more like an s, so it sounds like they are saying San Q, which would be 3 Q's.

Similarly to your Cyrllic alphabet shirt with transliterated German, a common practice in Taiwan is also to transliterate Taiwanese phrases into Chinese.  I'll be reading a Facebook post and suddenly have no idea what they are saying because they started transliterating.  My wife will say, "oh, that's Taiwanese, blah blah blah, and means this in Chinese".  Still working on learning Taiwanese.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12059 on: January 22, 2016, 06:25:54 PM »
The only trouble I've had with food is when I made burritos wrapped in aluminum foil.
I have the worst luck with food and the TSA. I learned if you go to England, do not bring back an entire suitcase of proper English flavored potato chips for your Irish buddy, even if they beg you for them. I got my stuff searched by customs three times on that trip - I guess an entire suitcase filled with small foil lined bags looks suspicious on an xray.

And then there was the time my florida parents sent me home with the world's largest avocado, which I put in my carryon so it wouldn't get squished - in the same compartment as an external harddrive and a bunch of cables. Between all the wires and the giant pit, apparently that looked exactly like a bomb.

LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12060 on: January 22, 2016, 06:41:46 PM »
Granted, every time I've tried to get screened, my poor GF always winds up being 'Random White Female'. And then I laugh at her in front of the rest of the line of people, and make comments degrading the concept of TSA doing anything. Still haven't been screened personally though.

Oh, hey, I'm also Random White Female!  I just loved when a disgruntled TSA agent decided to make a spectacle of me -- she took all of my possessions out of my roller-bag, made me wait at the far table while she went back to the x-ray machine and put all of my things through it again but this time my things were scattered outside the bag, and then abandoned my things on the conveyor belt, all while I still hadn't been released to leave the table.  To top it off, I got to miss my flight!

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12061 on: January 22, 2016, 07:47:10 PM »
My mom, in her 60s, also manages to be Random White Female. I'm don't quite get that one.

So I guess I should add "be a man" to the list.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12062 on: January 22, 2016, 11:01:41 PM »
For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

WerKater

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12063 on: January 23, 2016, 03:32:16 AM »
My wife's family spent a significant amount of time in Germany so she and her family speak decent German (her parents and brother were there ~13 years, she was there about 8, both she and her brother learned languages, English and German, there).  I like to make German-English bilingual jokes, but they end up being lame when you have to explain them to others.

Feel free to share them anyway, if someone does not understand them, kann er mal deinen Buckel runterrutschen ;)

GENAU!!!

This happens to be the favorite German word of many of my German-learning friends.

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!
« Last Edit: January 23, 2016, 03:38:47 AM by WerKater »

shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12064 on: January 23, 2016, 03:44:57 AM »
A Spanish man is on holiday in England and he needs to buy a pair of socks. He goes to a clothes shop but he doesn't speak any English so the shop assistant starts uplifting up various items. He holds up a pair of trousers, but the Spanish man shakes his head. He holds up a shirt, but again the Spanish man shakes his head. Finally he holds up a pair of socks and the Spanish man says "Eso si que es!" So the Englishman says, "It you could spell it, why didn't you just say so?!"

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12065 on: January 23, 2016, 04:41:44 AM »
A Spanish man is on holiday in England and he needs to buy a pair of socks. He goes to a clothes shop but he doesn't speak any English so the shop assistant starts uplifting up various items. He holds up a pair of trousers, but the Spanish man shakes his head. He holds up a shirt, but again the Spanish man shakes his head. Finally he holds up a pair of socks and the Spanish man says "Eso si que es!" So the Englishman says, "It you could spell it, why didn't you just say so?!"

That's clever!
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shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12066 on: January 23, 2016, 08:11:42 AM »
A Spanish man is on holiday in England and he needs to buy a pair of socks. He goes to a clothes shop but he doesn't speak any English so the shop assistant starts uplifting up various items. He holds up a pair of trousers, but the Spanish man shakes his head. He holds up a shirt, but again the Spanish man shakes his head. Finally he holds up a pair of socks and the Spanish man says "Eso si que es!" So the Englishman says, "It you could spell it, why didn't you just say so?!"

That's clever!

My Spanish teacher told us that joke in our first year of learning Spanish (I was about twelve) and it was a massive "click" moment for me about modern languages and other cultures. I just found it amazing that not only could you make jokes in Spanish, but you could make jokes that only work if you knew BOTH languages!!! It was the start of a proper interest in learning languages. I just love learning little linguistic titbits and colloquialisms, although I am always way too embarrassed to use them in real life in case they are old-fashioned or wrong.

87tweetybirds

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12067 on: January 23, 2016, 08:52:08 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12068 on: January 23, 2016, 09:29:35 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

I remember those days.  Making good money, living with my dad, no car, no girlfriend.  I was living two months on a single week of pay.  Life was sweet!

Then I bought a car, got a girlfriend, my own place..........

After all I had to do SOMETHING with all that money!

JLee

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12069 on: January 23, 2016, 10:49:00 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

That's unfortunate - not wanting anything is an awesome feeling, and is a perfect time to save/invest everything!

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12070 on: January 23, 2016, 11:33:55 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

You did your best! But hey.... a bit of a show off isnt he?! I mean... who talks like that at work?!?

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12071 on: January 23, 2016, 01:34:44 PM »
Coworker who is always complaining about money: "A few years ago EVIL_BANK charged me $3,000 in overdraft fees! Then a few weeks ago my NEW_EVIL_BANK charged me $70 for overdrafting because they pay largest transactions first!!! So unfair!".


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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12072 on: January 23, 2016, 01:46:22 PM »
For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

I used to deliberately wear my kids through security when they were little. I'd get my palms swabbed, but avoid the pervo-scanner.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12073 on: January 23, 2016, 02:08:24 PM »
Coworker who is always complaining about money: "A few years ago EVIL_BANK charged me $3,000 in overdraft fees! Then a few weeks ago my NEW_EVIL_BANK charged me $70 for overdrafting because they pay largest transactions first!!! So unfair!".

I'm actually kind of impressed this coworker managed to even get charged $3000 in overdraft fees. Of course, I understand there's a high chance he or she was exaggerating.

randymarsh

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12074 on: January 23, 2016, 02:29:40 PM »
Coworker who is always complaining about money: "A few years ago EVIL_BANK charged me $3,000 in overdraft fees! Then a few weeks ago my NEW_EVIL_BANK charged me $70 for overdrafting because they pay largest transactions first!!! So unfair!".

I'm actually kind of impressed this coworker managed to even get charged $3000 in overdraft fees. Of course, I understand there's a high chance he or she was exaggerating.

I'm hoping they're exaggerating, but it's conceivable they spent an entire year overdrafting 10 times the week leading up to payday, then their account would be in the black for a few weeks. Repeat.
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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12075 on: January 23, 2016, 02:39:26 PM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

You did your best! But hey.... a bit of a show off isnt he?! I mean... who talks like that at work?!?


Well to be fair it was like 4 am and by that time of the shift you do get a little sleep drunk and have conversations you'd never have if you were well rested and working days. And he was partly joking and comparing himself with another coworker who is a self admitted shopaholic.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12076 on: January 23, 2016, 03:11:06 PM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

You did your best! But hey.... a bit of a show off isnt he?! I mean... who talks like that at work?!?


Well to be fair it was like 4 am and by that time of the shift you do get a little sleep drunk and have conversations you'd never have if you were well rested and working days. And he was partly joking and comparing himself with another coworker who is a self admitted shopaholic.

Ahh yes that explains it! :)

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12077 on: January 23, 2016, 03:28:50 PM »
I am also that random white female with a very UK name in her 60's getting scanned (better than the patdown, by about .5%).  OK, before the next trip I am colouring my hair (I have been letting the grey show a bit, no more).  I'll let you know how that goes.
FWIW, I used to be fine, and suddenly it is every time!  It gets lame when I get checked both flights when I have a connection.  Plus renewing my passport was super easy and fast, so Canadian Citizenship and Immigration has no issues with me.

(And as the human half of a therapy dog team, I value my law-abiding status).

For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12078 on: January 23, 2016, 03:55:39 PM »
I am also that random white female with a very UK name in her 60's getting scanned (better than the patdown, by about .5%).  OK, before the next trip I am colouring my hair (I have been letting the grey show a bit, no more).  I'll let you know how that goes.
There were stories of little old ladies being stopped and searched in London .
The UK police can stop and search people essentially at random, and to counter the impression that used this to harass young black men they had to publish the statistics of the stops.
So  a picture of having to stop and search 100 little old white ladies at the end of the month to make the numbers look good.


   

RetiredAt63

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12079 on: January 23, 2016, 04:17:01 PM »
Hmm.  These were Canada/Canada and Canada/US.  I even had my car pulled over the last time I drove south.  Just checked my small bag and looked in the back, nothing major, but the first time ever.

Some "random" searches clearly are not.  The winter of 2002 the 3 of us were in Hawai'i, flying from Honolulu to Maui - a commuter flight, really.  They pulled everyone with a non-US passport out of line for a "random" check, and no-one with a US passport.  We hadn't seen our daughter for several weeks, she had just joined us, and the delay meant we didn't get to sit together.  Not a good start to her vacation.  (This was when there were rumours that the terrorists had come across the border from Canada, instead of having been in the US for several months already and never having been near Canada. Twits).


I am also that random white female with a very UK name in her 60's getting scanned (better than the patdown, by about .5%).  OK, before the next trip I am colouring my hair (I have been letting the grey show a bit, no more).  I'll let you know how that goes.
There were stories of little old ladies being stopped and searched in London .
The UK police can stop and search people essentially at random, and to counter the impression that used this to harass young black men they had to publish the statistics of the stops.
So  a picture of having to stop and search 100 little old white ladies at the end of the month to make the numbers look good.


   

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12080 on: January 23, 2016, 04:49:53 PM »
(This was when there were rumours that the terrorists had come across the border from Canada, instead of having been in the US for several months already and never having been near Canada. Twits).

LOL yes... same here! German passport issued in Hamburg was not a good thing in 2002 when they had found out that the terrorists had studied in Hamburg... My purse was checked TWICE between security and boarding a flight to NYC...

And I am also the human part of a service dog team - I wonder when they start scanning my dogs paws for remnants of explosives...

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12081 on: January 23, 2016, 04:59:45 PM »
(This was when there were rumours that the terrorists had come across the border from Canada, instead of having been in the US for several months already and never having been near Canada. Twits).
I loved their attempt to wriggle out of this when they said that they had meant the terrorists had flown over Canada on their way to the USA !
 

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12082 on: January 24, 2016, 05:45:15 PM »
Granted, every time I've tried to get screened, my poor GF always winds up being 'Random White Female'. And then I laugh at her in front of the rest of the line of people, and make comments degrading the concept of TSA doing anything. Still haven't been screened personally though.

Oh, hey, I'm also Random White Female!  I just loved when a disgruntled TSA agent decided to make a spectacle of me -- she took all of my possessions out of my roller-bag, made me wait at the far table while she went back to the x-ray machine and put all of my things through it again but this time my things were scattered outside the bag, and then abandoned my things on the conveyor belt, all while I still hadn't been released to leave the table.  To top it off, I got to miss my flight!

Was returning to southern Europe where I was living at the time back in the 90s. I had a duffle bag of car parts b/c I could get them here in the USA cheaper and easier with no linguistic hurdles. This wasn't too many years (2-3) after the Lockerbee, Scotland crash so Heathrow airport was still taking security seriously.

You should have seen the X-ray scanner operator's eyes bug out as my bag went through security. Shock absorbers might look like alot of unfriendly stuff on the scanner.

Missed my flight, etc. The airline got me on another flight, different airline at no extra cost to me. Everyone was very nice.

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12083 on: January 25, 2016, 02:52:01 AM »
There were stories of little old ladies being stopped and searched in London .
The UK police can stop and search people essentially at random, and to counter the impression that used this to harass young black men they had to publish the statistics of the stops.
So  a picture of having to stop and search 100 little old white ladies at the end of the month to make the numbers look good.

To clarify this:
There are pretty strict rules about when the UK Police are permitted to use stop and search. The issue came about because Police were searching both when the criteria were met and when they felt suspicious about someone but the legal requirements weren't met. These illegal searches were disproportionately aimed at young black men, so they initially tried to cover this up by illegally searching the old white women so that the stats were less skewed. There is now more effort put into identifying and stopping illegal searches but it's still a problem.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12084 on: January 25, 2016, 08:13:08 AM »
For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

Oh, so you meant from red head to red head? lol

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12085 on: January 25, 2016, 08:23:39 AM »
For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

It's because they've got too much common sense to risk angering a true ginger, lest their souls be stolen. But they're willing to take their chances by fucking with a daywalker.
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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12086 on: January 25, 2016, 08:35:04 AM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.


smalllife

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12087 on: January 25, 2016, 08:38:21 AM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.

Haha - I grew up on the packets, but as I took over groceries I went from name brand > store brand > make your own.  Still eat it every morning, but for a fraction of the cost.  Five minutes every  few weeks, same effort each morning as before.
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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12088 on: January 25, 2016, 08:48:22 AM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.

This reminds me of the time my wife was telling me that her mom refused to buy the bulk oatmeal tub and called her cheap for not wanting to buy the individually packaged oatmeal.

As if mixing oatmeal, brown sugar and cinnamon is soooo complicated or even time consuming for that matter...
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Kitsune

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12089 on: January 25, 2016, 09:46:10 AM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.

This reminds me of the time my wife was telling me that her mom refused to buy the bulk oatmeal tub and called her cheap for not wanting to buy the individually packaged oatmeal.

As if mixing oatmeal, brown sugar and cinnamon is soooo complicated or even time consuming for that matter...

If cheap = not spending $ on things that do not add anything positive to my life, sign me up.

I'd rather buy the bulk oatmeal (with less sugar) and have the extra money to have grilled salmon for dinner, y'know?

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12090 on: January 25, 2016, 10:32:18 AM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.

Wow. Just wow. I mean... I grew up only knowing the 1-2 lb bags of oatmeal. There was nothing like prepackaged and flavoured oatmeal. A spoon of chocolate milk powder would make the chocolate variety and otherwise a spoon form the cinnamon sugar jar (of course also self prepared).

Shakes head... wanders off to heat her lunch. Butter chicken with rice. Cooked at home and portioned for lunches at work... ts ts ts...

onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12091 on: January 25, 2016, 10:33:48 AM »

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!

Do it.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12092 on: January 25, 2016, 12:09:59 PM »

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!

Do it.

Using your exact phonetics for the Berlin dialect, and making a few adjustments for the way Russian handles diphthongs but preserving the double letters of the original German which makes the words obviously non-Russian, that works out to:

Вєнн ду дас лєсєн каннст, бистє кайн дууфєр Вєссий.


I squeak softly, but carry a big schtick.

onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12093 on: January 25, 2016, 12:17:49 PM »

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!

Do it.

Using your exact phonetics for the Berlin dialect, and making a few adjustments for the way Russian handles diphthongs but preserving the double letters of the original German which makes the words obviously non-Russian, that works out to:

Вєнн ду дас лєсєн каннст, бистє кайн дууфєр Вєссий.

Thanks!  I can't find my original shirt, but this looks right on.  I'm not native in either language (but have lived/worked in both countries), so I may be off, but I think "doofer" was written differently in my original shirt I got in Brandenburg.  If I were reading that word in Cyrllic outloud in american English, I'd say more "dufer" than "doh-ver", right?

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12094 on: January 25, 2016, 12:32:39 PM »

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!

Do it.

Using your exact phonetics for the Berlin dialect, and making a few adjustments for the way Russian handles diphthongs but preserving the double letters of the original German which makes the words obviously non-Russian, that works out to:

Вєнн ду дас лєсєн каннст, бистє кайн дууфєр Вєссий.

Thanks!  I can't find my original shirt, but this looks right on.  I'm not native in either language (but have lived/worked in both countries), so I may be off, but I think "doofer" was written differently in my original shirt I got in Brandenburg.  If I were reading that word in Cyrllic outloud in american English, I'd say more "dufer" than "doh-ver", right?

Reminds me of a shirt I saw in "The Sum of All Fears," it's in Russian but it says something like, "I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up."

Ashyukun

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12095 on: January 25, 2016, 12:36:56 PM »
Granted, every time I've tried to get screened, my poor GF always winds up being 'Random White Female'. And then I laugh at her in front of the rest of the line of people, and make comments degrading the concept of TSA doing anything. Still haven't been screened personally though.

Oh, hey, I'm also Random White Female!  I just loved when a disgruntled TSA agent decided to make a spectacle of me -- she took all of my possessions out of my roller-bag, made me wait at the far table while she went back to the x-ray machine and put all of my things through it again but this time my things were scattered outside the bag, and then abandoned my things on the conveyor belt, all while I still hadn't been released to leave the table.  To top it off, I got to miss my flight!

Was returning to southern Europe where I was living at the time back in the 90s. I had a duffle bag of car parts b/c I could get them here in the USA cheaper and easier with no linguistic hurdles. This wasn't too many years (2-3) after the Lockerbee, Scotland crash so Heathrow airport was still taking security seriously.

You should have seen the X-ray scanner operator's eyes bug out as my bag went through security. Shock absorbers might look like alot of unfriendly stuff on the scanner.

Missed my flight, etc. The airline got me on another flight, different airline at no extra cost to me. Everyone was very nice.

Back in the very late 80's I had gotten very heavily into racing radio-controlled cars. We were living in Durham, NC and my family was flying out to visit my Grandparents in San Diego for a week or so over Christmas. Since I really wanted to be able to play with my cars while on vacation, my carry-on was a big plastic tool/tackle box. I forget whether I took one or two cars, but took a lot of the tools and parts necessary for maintaining the cars along with me as well as, of course, their radios. The tackle box was rather heavy, not small, and packed full of radio equipment, electric motors, wiring, springs and shocks, shock fluid, oils (this was after all over a decade before 9/11) and tools. Being like 14, I didn't think at all about the potential concerns of taking all of this onto an airplane (as well as not wanting it to come open and spill parts everywhere if it were checked and tossed around) and happily plopped the thing on the X-ray conveyor and went through the metal detector.

The X-ray tech's eyes got so wide when it went through you'd have thought he was a Disney cartoon character. He franticly waved over the security officer nearby and his eyes go about as wide. He saunters over to the exit of the X-ray belt (which the tech stopped with the tackle box in front of him and says, "Whose luggage is this?"

Little 13-year-old me pipes up and says that it's mine- at which point he looks at me in disbelief and accusingly at my parents- who both are trying not to laugh (my Dad was active-duty Military at this point in time, so they're not particularly worried). The security officer asks if he can open the tackle box and inspect its contents, and I shrug and say 'OK.' He proceeds to pull half of everything out of the box and ask me what it is- and of course gets a rather lengthy explanation on all of it from me- until he gets down to the bottom to the actual car(s). He eventually decided that it was indeed mine and that it was just as innocuous as I was (or at least appeared to be) and let me pack it back up and continue on to our flight.

I don't think I got any grief from the San Diego airport security checkpoint though, strangely enough...

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12096 on: January 25, 2016, 12:44:40 PM »

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!

Do it.

Using your exact phonetics for the Berlin dialect, and making a few adjustments for the way Russian handles diphthongs but preserving the double letters of the original German which makes the words obviously non-Russian, that works out to:

Вєнн ду дас лєсєн каннст, бистє кайн дууфєр Вєссий.

Thanks!  I can't find my original shirt, but this looks right on.  I'm not native in either language (but have lived/worked in both countries), so I may be off, but I think "doofer" was written differently in my original shirt I got in Brandenburg.  If I were reading that word in Cyrllic outloud in american English, I'd say more "dufer" than "doh-ver", right?

Yes, because the Russian "y" letter is pronounced "oo". Two "y" letters are actually redundant in Russian. Repeated Russian vowels don't occur except in rare cases when a word is imported from another language and one syllable ends in the letter while the next syllable begins with the same letter without an intervening consonant. I included both "y" letters to duplicate the spelling you gave, but one "y" for the "oo" "doofer" is more technically correct Russian.

If you want a long "o" sound like you'd hear in the English word "cold", the Russian character you'd want would be

о

not "y" which is "oo".

The funky letter that looks like a bisected circle is pronounced "f". If you need more of a "v" pronunciation, the correct letter for that is one of the little capital B's, like this:

в

Not to be confused with б, which is pronounced like an English "b".

So if you wanted to reproduce something that sounds like "dover", it would be

довєр
I squeak softly, but carry a big schtick.

partgypsy

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12097 on: January 25, 2016, 12:48:01 PM »
Reminds me of the story when my parents were coming back from Greece on Vacation, and my Dad had packed a pound or so of dried Greek Oregano to bring home, and also bought a plastic gun for my brother as a gift. When they got to Heathrow and through customs, the officer opened his luggage and pulled out a giant bag of -green stuff- with one hand, and the black plastic gun in the other, with a look of disbelief on his face. But it was resolved rather quickly.

onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12098 on: January 25, 2016, 12:48:51 PM »
I figured out why it looked weird to me.  I think my original shirt said dummer Wessi, not doofer.

https://verslaven.wordpress.com/2007/03/21/gruse-aus-der-ddr/

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12099 on: January 25, 2016, 01:06:02 PM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.

This reminds me of the time my wife was telling me that her mom refused to buy the bulk oatmeal tub and called her cheap for not wanting to buy the individually packaged oatmeal.

As if mixing oatmeal, brown sugar and cinnamon is soooo complicated or even time consuming for that matter...

If cheap = not spending $ on things that do not add anything positive to my life, sign me up.

I'd rather buy the bulk oatmeal (with less sugar) and have the extra money to have grilled salmon for dinner, y'know?

Yeah, it's only cheap if you refuse to buy something you do like, and can afford, due to the price.  It's not cheap to refuse to buy overpriced crap. 

Does your coworker only purchase those little individual-size boxes of cereal, or is she capable of pouring the desired amount into the bowl and then eyeballing the proper amount of milk?