Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 4774974 times)

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12000 on: January 21, 2016, 11:42:32 AM »
I do not assume that, I merely remarked upon a statistical probability.

But you are right, if the poster writes "US politics" he is very likely not US, because then he would wrote either politics or American politics, ignoring the vast majority of the continent(s) landmass and people. (one reason why I stated the bad US politics thing last post) ;)

You know here are other United States in the world right?  For example, the United Mexican States?  Careful when you criticize the nomenclature or ignorance of an entire country.

Dicey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12001 on: January 21, 2016, 12:15:51 PM »
I'll admit I am somewhat picky about which hotels I stay at when I travel for work.  When I'm traveling for meetings most meals with co-workers are kind of a dietary disaster, so I really prefer to get a hotel that has a mini-fridge so I can pack some things like carrot sticks, yogurt, hard boiled eggs, etc.

Wait, you're able to get yogurt through airport security?  How have you managed this feat?  Or are you buying once you get there or driving?

Haven't tried that--most of my work travel is driving so the TSA guidelines are a non-issue!

Last week Momma brought 4 individual servings of yogurt with us on our flight. We did get some hassle by security at YYZ (Toronto) and yogurt was x-rayed and squished by the inspector. Our cough medicine (liquid) and antibiotics were also closely examined before they were allowed to pass.
I believe there's a tiny bit of grey area that allows for packing a lunch and it not counting as carry-on.

Once, in a major US Airport, heading for a Southwest flight, a TSA Agent took away my lunch, which was in a paper bag. I complained to SWA and when I got off the flight, I was handed a $50 voucher for a future flight along with an apology. Seems it's A-Okay to pack a lunch along with your handbag/briefcase and your carry-on luggage on Southwest. I have also had good luck carrying an insulated bag with freeze packs in it as long as they are frozen solid. I may or may not also carry prescription medicine in said lunch bag, which might make a difference. I cannot promise you that this is 100% okay, just that I used to travel a lot and never was challenged, except that one flight. My advice is to try it but don't use any containers you are unprepared to lose. Final note, I always made sure that the quantities of anything like yogurt that I packed were small and in factory sealed, single serving packages. Very Important. A quart of yogurt just ain't gonna fly ;-)
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zephyr911

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12002 on: January 21, 2016, 12:21:24 PM »
Is it just me getting irritated by the US political talk on the Overheard at Work thread?
Get a room (or a thread) already!
+1
I'm not even reading anything with a hint of politics to it anymore, I just scroll on by. Please stay on topic.
You never talk (or hear) about politics at work?
No wonder the US can't even get the basic done.
I talked quite a bit politics today with several people.
I talk and hear about politics daily. I have no problem with political discussions but I believe in the "time and place" rule and an overheard at work thread that many people use for comedic purposes isn't the place for political discussions, especially when there are sections of the forum dedicated to politics. If I wanted to read how people on the mmm forum felt about the parties and their candidates, I would head over there. But I don't so I'm here.
It's not about avoiding politics altogether, it's about not tracking mud all over an otherwise (mostly) pleasant thread.
I hear a lot about politics at work, but most of it is regurgitated partisan talking points repeated by one party and enthusiastically confirmed by another. It's a real downer. I don't mind that people disagree with me per se, but the entire framing of the conversation often seems to miss the central issues, and I can't even figure out how to engage without insulting someone's intelligence.
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jordanread

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12003 on: January 21, 2016, 12:41:41 PM »
Is it just me getting irritated by the US political talk on the Overheard at Work thread?
Get a room (or a thread) already!
+1
I'm not even reading anything with a hint of politics to it anymore, I just scroll on by. Please stay on topic.
You never talk (or hear) about politics at work?
No wonder the US can't even get the basic done.
I talked quite a bit politics today with several people.
I talk and hear about politics daily. I have no problem with political discussions but I believe in the "time and place" rule and an overheard at work thread that many people use for comedic purposes isn't the place for political discussions, especially when there are sections of the forum dedicated to politics. If I wanted to read how people on the mmm forum felt about the parties and their candidates, I would head over there. But I don't so I'm here.
It's not about avoiding politics altogether, it's about not tracking mud all over an otherwise (mostly) pleasant thread.
I hear a lot about politics at work, but most of it is regurgitated partisan talking points repeated by one party and enthusiastically confirmed by another. It's a real downer. I don't mind that people disagree with me per se, but the entire framing of the conversation often seems to miss the central issues, and I can't even figure out how to engage without insulting someone's intelligence.

How many people here have read The Audacity of Hope (by Barack Obama)? I don't find myself completely politically aligned with him, but his first chapter (which is all of what I have read so far) is an outstanding view on the political system. I liked it.
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zephyr911

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12004 on: January 21, 2016, 12:47:16 PM »
How many people here have read The Audacity of Hope (by Barack Obama)? I don't find myself completely politically aligned with him, but his first chapter (which is all of what I have read so far) is an outstanding view on the political system. I liked it.
I don't read anything by homosexual atheist Muslims who spend 25 hours a day trying to destroy America and putting their grubby socialist hands all over my Medicare. (only a slight exaggeration of typical parlance here)

I actually think I might find that interesting.
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onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12005 on: January 21, 2016, 12:51:04 PM »
Quote
I don't read anything by homosexual atheist Muslims who spend 25 hours a day trying to destroy America and putting their grubby socialist hands all over my Medicare. (only a slight exaggeration of typical parlance here)

He probably wrote it in French, anyway. Or Muslim.

JordanOfGilead

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12006 on: January 21, 2016, 12:56:56 PM »
Quote
I don't read anything by homosexual atheist Muslims who spend 25 hours a day trying to destroy America and putting their grubby socialist hands all over my Medicare. (only a slight exaggeration of typical parlance here)

He probably wrote it in French, anyway. Or Muslim.
He definitely wrote it in Mexican.

Uturn

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12007 on: January 21, 2016, 01:06:54 PM »
You never talk (or hear) about politics at work?
No wonder the US can't even get the basic done.
I talked quite a bit politics today with several people.
The problem isn't necessarily talking politics.  The problem is the assumption that most people in a political party must agree with the worst outliers that party has to offer.  This is not a discussion, and I could happily live my life by never hearing it again from either side. 
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runningthroughFIRE

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12008 on: January 21, 2016, 01:11:19 PM »
Quote
I don't read anything by homosexual atheist Muslims who spend 25 hours a day trying to destroy America and putting their grubby socialist hands all over my Medicare. (only a slight exaggeration of typical parlance here)

He probably wrote it in French, anyway. Or Muslim.
He definitely wrote it in Mexican.
The world would be a better place if everyone would just speak American.

nobodyspecial

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12009 on: January 21, 2016, 01:21:48 PM »
I don't read anything by homosexual atheist Muslims who spend 25 hours a day trying to destroy America and putting their grubby socialist hands all over my Medicare. (only a slight exaggeration of typical parlance here)
So in a reversal of the "playboy excuse" - you just buy it for the pictures ?



Making Cookies

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12010 on: January 21, 2016, 01:32:11 PM »
The world would be a better place if everyone would just speak American.

...REAL LOUD!

Was surprised the first time I went out of the country years ago that the loud American stereotype is occasionally real. Can't understand my English? Well - let me speak it louder...

Zephyr911 and Uturn - you both said it spot on.

Great thread - all of it.

Metta

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12011 on: January 21, 2016, 02:44:46 PM »
Quote
I don't read anything by homosexual atheist Muslims who spend 25 hours a day trying to destroy America and putting their grubby socialist hands all over my Medicare. (only a slight exaggeration of typical parlance here)

He probably wrote it in French, anyway. Or Muslim.
He definitely wrote it in Mexican.

Or New Mexican. That's almost worse.

Sibley

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12012 on: January 21, 2016, 06:24:06 PM »
I did as well, and think that he's done a fairly great job, considering the hand he was dealt and comparing him to the people that he was running against. If he could run for a third term, I wouldn't hesitate to vote for him seeing the current slate of republicans running.

Me too. Palin's arrival on the scene told me (a registered Republican) that the party was broken. I won't vote for them again until the party is repaired and reasonable again. Constantly functioning as a political roadblock didn't endear them to me either b/c stuff needed repair/adaptation/tweaking but they just wanted to keep Barack Obama from having any successes for the history books.

I consider myself a moderate in many things and my politics is mostly middle of the road. Right now that seems to be in short supply for the GOP. Lots of "outside" influences in the GOP right now with priorities/methods that seem odd to me.

http://www.npr.org/2016/01/19/463565987/hidden-history-of-koch-brothers-traces-their-childhood-and-political-rise

That was a trippy show to listen to last night. 

I figure at some point our country will lack enough "conservative white people" to keep the GOP in power. Maybe the GOP sees that already and they are feeling desperate. I keep hearing my peers discuss their religions and their politics as being "under attack" and I don't see it. They aren't under attack, times are just changing and the conservatives don't have the same "guaranteed" control that they've come to rely on.

Other peoples, other countries and other ideas are developing. Not much can be done by the GOP supporters to change that.

At the risk of insulting all the Republicans, you're the first Republican I've heard speaking about politics in a way that didn't cause me to want to strangle you, in about 5+ years. Thank you! (I normally avoid politics, and can we please change the topic now?)

missbee

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12013 on: January 21, 2016, 06:46:48 PM »
So my workmates are making plans on where to go out for lunch tomorrow and have decided on a place called Toastface Grillah which just makes toasted sandwiches that you pay between $5 and $9 for a sandwich

I googled them and they dont seem that amazing

http://www.toastfacegrillah.com/
but but but they're in a back alley with all sorts of weird recycled things to sit on! Don't you know you gotta go there to be like the cool kids? It is painfully trendy, or was when it opened a couple of years ago... That said, I do like their iced coffees because its just a shot of coffee poured over ice cubes and topped up with cold milk, nothing more. (And yes, I've paid $4 for one on more than one occasion)

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12014 on: January 21, 2016, 10:11:20 PM »
So my workmates are making plans on where to go out for lunch tomorrow and have decided on a place called Toastface Grillah which just makes toasted sandwiches

Gee thanks, now I want a grilled cheese sandwich.

nnls

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12015 on: January 21, 2016, 10:42:02 PM »
So my workmates are making plans on where to go out for lunch tomorrow and have decided on a place called Toastface Grillah which just makes toasted sandwiches that you pay between $5 and $9 for a sandwich

I googled them and they dont seem that amazing

http://www.toastfacegrillah.com/
but but but they're in a back alley with all sorts of weird recycled things to sit on! Don't you know you gotta go there to be like the cool kids? It is painfully trendy, or was when it opened a couple of years ago... That said, I do like their iced coffees because its just a shot of coffee poured over ice cubes and topped up with cold milk, nothing more. (And yes, I've paid $4 for one on more than one occasion)

I havent even heard of it, I am obviously not cool at all.

Taran Wanderer

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12016 on: January 21, 2016, 10:50:26 PM »

I havent even heard of it, I am obviously not cool at all.

You're not the only one.

missbee

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12017 on: January 21, 2016, 11:43:53 PM »

I havent even heard of it, I am obviously not cool at all.

You're not the only one.

I'm always surprised they'll even serve such a huge dork as myself

nnls

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12018 on: January 22, 2016, 12:08:23 AM »

I havent even heard of it, I am obviously not cool at all.

You're not the only one.

I'm always surprised they'll even serve such a huge dork as myself

maybe you are so much of a dork you have become ultra cool?

nick69

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12019 on: January 22, 2016, 01:28:11 AM »
So my workmates are making plans on where to go out for lunch tomorrow and have decided on a place called Toastface Grillah which just makes toasted sandwiches that you pay between $5 and $9 for a sandwich

I googled them and they dont seem that amazing

http://www.toastfacegrillah.com/
but but but they're in a back alley with all sorts of weird recycled things to sit on! Don't you know you gotta go there to be like the cool kids? It is painfully trendy, or was when it opened a couple of years ago... That said, I do like their iced coffees because its just a shot of coffee poured over ice cubes and topped up with cold milk, nothing more. (And yes, I've paid $4 for one on more than one occasion)

I havent even heard of it, I am obviously not cool at all.

I've been, that makes be cool right, right, guys...?

Anyway, they are a lot like any other cafe, only that they specialise in making some pretty tasty toasties. Price wise they're no different from a regular Perth cafe as it works out to ~$10-15 for a coffee and a sandwich.


nnls

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12020 on: January 22, 2016, 01:32:01 AM »
So my workmates are making plans on where to go out for lunch tomorrow and have decided on a place called Toastface Grillah which just makes toasted sandwiches that you pay between $5 and $9 for a sandwich

I googled them and they dont seem that amazing

http://www.toastfacegrillah.com/
but but but they're in a back alley with all sorts of weird recycled things to sit on! Don't you know you gotta go there to be like the cool kids? It is painfully trendy, or was when it opened a couple of years ago... That said, I do like their iced coffees because its just a shot of coffee poured over ice cubes and topped up with cold milk, nothing more. (And yes, I've paid $4 for one on more than one occasion)

I havent even heard of it, I am obviously not cool at all.

I've been, that makes be cool right, right, guys...?

Anyway, they are a lot like any other cafe, only that they specialise in making some pretty tasty toasties. Price wise they're no different from a regular Perth cafe as it works out to ~$10-15 for a coffee and a sandwich.

I suppose it is standard Perth prices, I just feel like $7 for a sandwich is heaps. I dont think I would ever buy it-its just a sandwich! In saying that I do spend $20 on toast with some avocado and bacon and a coffee when I go out for brunch with mates which is worse.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12021 on: January 22, 2016, 01:48:30 AM »
So my workmates are making plans on where to go out for lunch tomorrow and have decided on a place called Toastface Grillah which just makes toasted sandwiches that you pay between $5 and $9 for a sandwich

I googled them and they dont seem that amazing

http://www.toastfacegrillah.com/
but but but they're in a back alley with all sorts of weird recycled things to sit on! Don't you know you gotta go there to be like the cool kids? It is painfully trendy, or was when it opened a couple of years ago... That said, I do like their iced coffees because its just a shot of coffee poured over ice cubes and topped up with cold milk, nothing more. (And yes, I've paid $4 for one on more than one occasion)

I havent even heard of it, I am obviously not cool at all.

I've been, that makes be cool right, right, guys...?

Anyway, they are a lot like any other cafe, only that they specialise in making some pretty tasty toasties. Price wise they're no different from a regular Perth cafe as it works out to ~$10-15 for a coffee and a sandwich.

I suppose it is standard Perth prices, I just feel like $7 for a sandwich is heaps. I dont think I would ever buy it-its just a sandwich! In saying that I do spend $20 on toast with some avocado and bacon and a coffee when I go out for brunch with mates which is worse.

That's less than a Subway footlong in the US (which are crap).  Sounds like an OK deal to me.

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12022 on: January 22, 2016, 08:59:01 AM »
Quote
I don't read anything by homosexual atheist Muslims who spend 25 hours a day trying to destroy America and putting their grubby socialist hands all over my Medicare. (only a slight exaggeration of typical parlance here)

He probably wrote it in French, anyway. Or Muslim.
He definitely wrote it in Mexican.
The world would be a better place if everyone would just speak American.

What do you call someone that speaks three languages?
Trilingual.
What do you call someone that speaks three languages?
Bilingual.
What do you call someone that speaks one language?
American.

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12023 on: January 22, 2016, 09:00:34 AM »
So my workmates are making plans on where to go out for lunch tomorrow and have decided on a place called Toastface Grillah which just makes toasted sandwiches that you pay between $5 and $9 for a sandwich

I googled them and they dont seem that amazing

http://www.toastfacegrillah.com/

There is a place here called Tom and Chee that serves grilled cheese sandwiches. It was featured on Shark Tank I believe. Anyways, the wife and I decided to check it out but I thought the prices were ridiculous considering it was just bread, cheese, and a lot of butter. But whatever - they must have some great profit margins.

http://production-current.outofagency.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/TomandChee-Menu-2015.pdf

dycker1978

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12024 on: January 22, 2016, 09:29:34 AM »
So my workmates are making plans on where to go out for lunch tomorrow and have decided on a place called Toastface Grillah which just makes toasted sandwiches that you pay between $5 and $9 for a sandwich

I googled them and they dont seem that amazing

http://www.toastfacegrillah.com/

There is a place here called Tom and Chee that serves grilled cheese sandwiches. It was featured on Shark Tank I believe. Anyways, the wife and I decided to check it out but I thought the prices were ridiculous considering it was just bread, cheese, and a lot of butter. But whatever - they must have some great profit margins.

http://production-current.outofagency.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/TomandChee-Menu-2015.pdf

HA that is "cheap" Most restaurants here have the grilled cheese on the kids menu.  The usually start at about 7.95.  Of course that is CAD, so the may only be 3.30 USD...

RWD

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12025 on: January 22, 2016, 10:24:55 AM »
The usually start at about 7.95.  Of course that is CAD, so the may only be 3.30 USD...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5l0PD80u9k&t=1m38s

arebelspy

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12026 on: January 22, 2016, 11:23:09 AM »
Quote
I don't read anything by homosexual atheist Muslims who spend 25 hours a day trying to destroy America and putting their grubby socialist hands all over my Medicare. (only a slight exaggeration of typical parlance here)

He probably wrote it in French, anyway. Or Muslim.
He definitely wrote it in Mexican.
The world would be a better place if everyone would just speak American.

What do you call someone that speaks three languages?
Trilingual.
What do you call someone that speaks three languages?
Bilingual.
What do you call someone that speaks one language?
American.


I heard this in Quebec as (Forgive my bad french):

Si tu est  trilangue - tu est European.
Si tu est bilangue, tu est Canadien.
Si tu as un langue, tu est American.

Yeah, it's a super old joke (decades old, at least).

My favorite version was from a Star Wars book from the 90s (I think Tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina?), where (IIRC) someone asks Wuher, the bartender:
What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages? (He answers Trilingual)
What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages? (He answers Bilingual)
What do you call someone who speaks 1 language? (He thinks for a minute and answers "...monolingual?" and they respond: "Human.")

(Edit: Typos)
« Last Edit: January 22, 2016, 11:52:36 AM by arebelspy »
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Dollar Slice

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12027 on: January 22, 2016, 11:31:18 AM »
Either two of those three versions of the joke were ruined by lazy copy-pasting, or there's some part of the joke I'm not getting...
...it's not at all alarming that people have started quoting me in their siggy lines.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12028 on: January 22, 2016, 11:37:56 AM »
Either two of those three versions of the joke were ruined by lazy copy-pasting, or there's some part of the joke I'm not getting...

It is cracking me up too.

For the record, I think it is just some bad copy pasta and not some deeper element of a joke that you're not getting.

Although I'd like to find a way to make it work. 

There are 10 types of people in this world, trilinguists and bilinguists whose 3rd language is binary.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12029 on: January 22, 2016, 11:43:10 AM »
According to my Spanish speaking wife, I speak minion

ohyonghao

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12030 on: January 22, 2016, 01:39:43 PM »
I know a couple bilingual jokes, but you have to know Chinese (Mandarin) and Taiwanese to get them.

It essentially goes like:
Me: "What's the world's coldest animal?"
Them: (most people guess penguin, or polar bear, or something of that nature)
Me: "No, it's a duck"
Them: "Why is it a duck?"
Me: "Because, quack quack quack"

The Chinese word for the sound a duck makes happens to be the Taiwanese word for cold.

Though my favorite one is to ask a group of English students how to say "serve" in Taiwanese :-D.  Chinese is Fa Qiu, and Taiwanese it is Feh Cue.  Had another teacher come up and ask me why all the kids were saying "Fuck you".

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12031 on: January 22, 2016, 02:31:26 PM »
I'll admit I am somewhat picky about which hotels I stay at when I travel for work.  When I'm traveling for meetings most meals with co-workers are kind of a dietary disaster, so I really prefer to get a hotel that has a mini-fridge so I can pack some things like carrot sticks, yogurt, hard boiled eggs, etc.

Wait, you're able to get yogurt through airport security?  How have you managed this feat?  Or are you buying once you get there or driving?

Protip: the TSA is entirely incompetent and does not improve security. I bring yogurt on planes half the time I fly. I never put my liquids in plastic bags. The only trouble I've had with food is when I made burritos wrapped in aluminum foil.

More tips for dealing with the TSA:
1. Be white.
2. Don't look Arab.
3. Have a comically white name.
4. Don't have any Muslim-sounding words in your name.

(Not the way it should be, but it's the way it is.)

jda1984

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12032 on: January 22, 2016, 02:53:35 PM »
I know a couple bilingual jokes, but you have to know Chinese (Mandarin) and Taiwanese to get them.

It essentially goes like:
Me: "What's the world's coldest animal?"
Them: (most people guess penguin, or polar bear, or something of that nature)
Me: "No, it's a duck"
Them: "Why is it a duck?"
Me: "Because, quack quack quack"

The Chinese word for the sound a duck makes happens to be the Taiwanese word for cold.

Though my favorite one is to ask a group of English students how to say "serve" in Taiwanese :-D.  Chinese is Fa Qiu, and Taiwanese it is Feh Cue.  Had another teacher come up and ask me why all the kids were saying "Fuck you".

My wife's family spent a significant amount of time in Germany so she and her family speak decent German (her parents and brother were there ~13 years, she was there about 8, both she and her brother learned languages, English and German, there).  I like to make German-English bilingual jokes, but they end up being lame when you have to explain them to others.

LennStar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12033 on: January 22, 2016, 03:15:40 PM »
My wife's family spent a significant amount of time in Germany so she and her family speak decent German (her parents and brother were there ~13 years, she was there about 8, both she and her brother learned languages, English and German, there).  I like to make German-English bilingual jokes, but they end up being lame when you have to explain them to others.

Feel free to share them anyway, if someone does not understand them, kann er mal deinen Buckel runterrutschen ;)

maco

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12034 on: January 22, 2016, 03:21:30 PM »
I have a story that works best when I tell it to someone who speaks both English and American Sign Language, because then I can caption the Italian portions with my hands.

We were visiting our ancestral town in Italy, and as we're sitting at the nurse's station in the hospital while they call our cousin to tell him "hey, come in on your day off and pick up your American cousins," one of the psych patients wanders in. He starts trying to hit on my sister. My brother and I both speak enough Spanish to muddle through Italian, but my sister is hopeless with languages. So we're translating for her. He tells her she's "bella" (beautiful). She grins and very confidently says "prego!" at which point me, my brother, and the nurses, all lose it. She has no idea why we're laughing.

Prego = you're welcome

She meant "grazie"

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12035 on: January 22, 2016, 03:25:20 PM »

More tips for dealing with the TSA:
1. Be white.  <----- CHECK
2. Don't look Arab.<------CHECK
3. Have a comically white name. <-------- CHECK
4. Don't have any Muslim-sounding words in your name. <------- CHECK

(Not the way it should be, but it's the way it is.)

Added to that list - do not be reading "Understanding the Quran" on your way through the airport.

I'm so going to be that guy. Granted, every time I've tried to get screened, my poor GF always winds up being 'Random White Female'. And then I laugh at her in front of the rest of the line of people, and make comments degrading the concept of TSA doing anything. Still haven't been screened personally though.
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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12036 on: January 22, 2016, 04:54:28 PM »
My wife's family spent a significant amount of time in Germany so she and her family speak decent German (her parents and brother were there ~13 years, she was there about 8, both she and her brother learned languages, English and German, there).  I like to make German-English bilingual jokes, but they end up being lame when you have to explain them to others.

Feel free to share them anyway, if someone does not understand them, kann er mal deinen Buckel runterrutschen ;)

GENAU!!!

onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12037 on: January 22, 2016, 04:57:50 PM »
I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.

ohyonghao

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12038 on: January 22, 2016, 05:47:38 PM »
I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.

Reminds me of a T-shirt a Canadian friend of mine got a lot of hate over:
"There are no Kangaroos in Austria"
With a yellow triangle and a black silhouette of a kangaroo.

Also, along sort of the same line, a funny way to reply to people in Taiwan who say, "Thank you", a response is, "No Q".  It's a play on how they pronounce the th more like an s, so it sounds like they are saying San Q, which would be 3 Q's.

Similarly to your Cyrllic alphabet shirt with transliterated German, a common practice in Taiwan is also to transliterate Taiwanese phrases into Chinese.  I'll be reading a Facebook post and suddenly have no idea what they are saying because they started transliterating.  My wife will say, "oh, that's Taiwanese, blah blah blah, and means this in Chinese".  Still working on learning Taiwanese.

Jakejake

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12039 on: January 22, 2016, 06:25:54 PM »
The only trouble I've had with food is when I made burritos wrapped in aluminum foil.
I have the worst luck with food and the TSA. I learned if you go to England, do not bring back an entire suitcase of proper English flavored potato chips for your Irish buddy, even if they beg you for them. I got my stuff searched by customs three times on that trip - I guess an entire suitcase filled with small foil lined bags looks suspicious on an xray.

And then there was the time my florida parents sent me home with the world's largest avocado, which I put in my carryon so it wouldn't get squished - in the same compartment as an external harddrive and a bunch of cables. Between all the wires and the giant pit, apparently that looked exactly like a bomb.

LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12040 on: January 22, 2016, 06:41:46 PM »
Granted, every time I've tried to get screened, my poor GF always winds up being 'Random White Female'. And then I laugh at her in front of the rest of the line of people, and make comments degrading the concept of TSA doing anything. Still haven't been screened personally though.

Oh, hey, I'm also Random White Female!  I just loved when a disgruntled TSA agent decided to make a spectacle of me -- she took all of my possessions out of my roller-bag, made me wait at the far table while she went back to the x-ray machine and put all of my things through it again but this time my things were scattered outside the bag, and then abandoned my things on the conveyor belt, all while I still hadn't been released to leave the table.  To top it off, I got to miss my flight!

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12041 on: January 22, 2016, 07:47:10 PM »
My mom, in her 60s, also manages to be Random White Female. I'm don't quite get that one.

So I guess I should add "be a man" to the list.

pancakes

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12042 on: January 22, 2016, 11:01:41 PM »
For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

WerKater

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12043 on: January 23, 2016, 03:32:16 AM »
My wife's family spent a significant amount of time in Germany so she and her family speak decent German (her parents and brother were there ~13 years, she was there about 8, both she and her brother learned languages, English and German, there).  I like to make German-English bilingual jokes, but they end up being lame when you have to explain them to others.

Feel free to share them anyway, if someone does not understand them, kann er mal deinen Buckel runterrutschen ;)

GENAU!!!

This happens to be the favorite German word of many of my German-learning friends.

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!
« Last Edit: January 23, 2016, 03:38:47 AM by WerKater »

shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12044 on: January 23, 2016, 03:44:57 AM »
A Spanish man is on holiday in England and he needs to buy a pair of socks. He goes to a clothes shop but he doesn't speak any English so the shop assistant starts uplifting up various items. He holds up a pair of trousers, but the Spanish man shakes his head. He holds up a shirt, but again the Spanish man shakes his head. Finally he holds up a pair of socks and the Spanish man says "Eso si que es!" So the Englishman says, "It you could spell it, why didn't you just say so?!"

arebelspy

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12045 on: January 23, 2016, 04:41:44 AM »
A Spanish man is on holiday in England and he needs to buy a pair of socks. He goes to a clothes shop but he doesn't speak any English so the shop assistant starts uplifting up various items. He holds up a pair of trousers, but the Spanish man shakes his head. He holds up a shirt, but again the Spanish man shakes his head. Finally he holds up a pair of socks and the Spanish man says "Eso si que es!" So the Englishman says, "It you could spell it, why didn't you just say so?!"

That's clever!
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shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12046 on: January 23, 2016, 08:11:42 AM »
A Spanish man is on holiday in England and he needs to buy a pair of socks. He goes to a clothes shop but he doesn't speak any English so the shop assistant starts uplifting up various items. He holds up a pair of trousers, but the Spanish man shakes his head. He holds up a shirt, but again the Spanish man shakes his head. Finally he holds up a pair of socks and the Spanish man says "Eso si que es!" So the Englishman says, "It you could spell it, why didn't you just say so?!"

That's clever!

My Spanish teacher told us that joke in our first year of learning Spanish (I was about twelve) and it was a massive "click" moment for me about modern languages and other cultures. I just found it amazing that not only could you make jokes in Spanish, but you could make jokes that only work if you knew BOTH languages!!! It was the start of a proper interest in learning languages. I just love learning little linguistic titbits and colloquialisms, although I am always way too embarrassed to use them in real life in case they are old-fashioned or wrong.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12047 on: January 23, 2016, 08:52:08 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12048 on: January 23, 2016, 09:29:35 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

I remember those days.  Making good money, living with my dad, no car, no girlfriend.  I was living two months on a single week of pay.  Life was sweet!

Then I bought a car, got a girlfriend, my own place..........

After all I had to do SOMETHING with all that money!

JLee

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #12049 on: January 23, 2016, 10:49:00 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

That's unfortunate - not wanting anything is an awesome feeling, and is a perfect time to save/invest everything!