Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 8462641 times)

Mermaid3011

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11950 on: January 22, 2016, 04:54:28 PM »
My wife's family spent a significant amount of time in Germany so she and her family speak decent German (her parents and brother were there ~13 years, she was there about 8, both she and her brother learned languages, English and German, there).  I like to make German-English bilingual jokes, but they end up being lame when you have to explain them to others.

Feel free to share them anyway, if someone does not understand them, kann er mal deinen Buckel runterrutschen ;)

GENAU!!!

onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11951 on: January 22, 2016, 04:57:50 PM »
I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.

ohyonghao

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11952 on: January 22, 2016, 05:47:38 PM »
I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.

Reminds me of a T-shirt a Canadian friend of mine got a lot of hate over:
"There are no Kangaroos in Austria"
With a yellow triangle and a black silhouette of a kangaroo.

Also, along sort of the same line, a funny way to reply to people in Taiwan who say, "Thank you", a response is, "No Q".  It's a play on how they pronounce the th more like an s, so it sounds like they are saying San Q, which would be 3 Q's.

Similarly to your Cyrllic alphabet shirt with transliterated German, a common practice in Taiwan is also to transliterate Taiwanese phrases into Chinese.  I'll be reading a Facebook post and suddenly have no idea what they are saying because they started transliterating.  My wife will say, "oh, that's Taiwanese, blah blah blah, and means this in Chinese".  Still working on learning Taiwanese.

Jakejake

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11953 on: January 22, 2016, 06:25:54 PM »
The only trouble I've had with food is when I made burritos wrapped in aluminum foil.
I have the worst luck with food and the TSA. I learned if you go to England, do not bring back an entire suitcase of proper English flavored potato chips for your Irish buddy, even if they beg you for them. I got my stuff searched by customs three times on that trip - I guess an entire suitcase filled with small foil lined bags looks suspicious on an xray.

And then there was the time my florida parents sent me home with the world's largest avocado, which I put in my carryon so it wouldn't get squished - in the same compartment as an external harddrive and a bunch of cables. Between all the wires and the giant pit, apparently that looked exactly like a bomb.

LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11954 on: January 22, 2016, 06:41:46 PM »
Granted, every time I've tried to get screened, my poor GF always winds up being 'Random White Female'. And then I laugh at her in front of the rest of the line of people, and make comments degrading the concept of TSA doing anything. Still haven't been screened personally though.

Oh, hey, I'm also Random White Female!  I just loved when a disgruntled TSA agent decided to make a spectacle of me -- she took all of my possessions out of my roller-bag, made me wait at the far table while she went back to the x-ray machine and put all of my things through it again but this time my things were scattered outside the bag, and then abandoned my things on the conveyor belt, all while I still hadn't been released to leave the table.  To top it off, I got to miss my flight!

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11955 on: January 22, 2016, 07:47:10 PM »
My mom, in her 60s, also manages to be Random White Female. I'm don't quite get that one.

So I guess I should add "be a man" to the list.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11956 on: January 22, 2016, 11:01:41 PM »
For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

WerKater

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11957 on: January 23, 2016, 03:32:16 AM »
My wife's family spent a significant amount of time in Germany so she and her family speak decent German (her parents and brother were there ~13 years, she was there about 8, both she and her brother learned languages, English and German, there).  I like to make German-English bilingual jokes, but they end up being lame when you have to explain them to others.

Feel free to share them anyway, if someone does not understand them, kann er mal deinen Buckel runterrutschen ;)

GENAU!!!

This happens to be the favorite German word of many of my German-learning friends.

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!
« Last Edit: January 23, 2016, 03:38:47 AM by WerKater »

shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11958 on: January 23, 2016, 03:44:57 AM »
A Spanish man is on holiday in England and he needs to buy a pair of socks. He goes to a clothes shop but he doesn't speak any English so the shop assistant starts uplifting up various items. He holds up a pair of trousers, but the Spanish man shakes his head. He holds up a shirt, but again the Spanish man shakes his head. Finally he holds up a pair of socks and the Spanish man says "Eso si que es!" So the Englishman says, "It you could spell it, why didn't you just say so?!"

arebelspy

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11959 on: January 23, 2016, 04:41:44 AM »
A Spanish man is on holiday in England and he needs to buy a pair of socks. He goes to a clothes shop but he doesn't speak any English so the shop assistant starts uplifting up various items. He holds up a pair of trousers, but the Spanish man shakes his head. He holds up a shirt, but again the Spanish man shakes his head. Finally he holds up a pair of socks and the Spanish man says "Eso si que es!" So the Englishman says, "It you could spell it, why didn't you just say so?!"

That's clever!
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shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11960 on: January 23, 2016, 08:11:42 AM »
A Spanish man is on holiday in England and he needs to buy a pair of socks. He goes to a clothes shop but he doesn't speak any English so the shop assistant starts uplifting up various items. He holds up a pair of trousers, but the Spanish man shakes his head. He holds up a shirt, but again the Spanish man shakes his head. Finally he holds up a pair of socks and the Spanish man says "Eso si que es!" So the Englishman says, "It you could spell it, why didn't you just say so?!"

That's clever!

My Spanish teacher told us that joke in our first year of learning Spanish (I was about twelve) and it was a massive "click" moment for me about modern languages and other cultures. I just found it amazing that not only could you make jokes in Spanish, but you could make jokes that only work if you knew BOTH languages!!! It was the start of a proper interest in learning languages. I just love learning little linguistic titbits and colloquialisms, although I am always way too embarrassed to use them in real life in case they are old-fashioned or wrong.

87tweetybirds

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11961 on: January 23, 2016, 08:52:08 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

Threshkin

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11962 on: January 23, 2016, 09:29:35 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

I remember those days.  Making good money, living with my dad, no car, no girlfriend.  I was living two months on a single week of pay.  Life was sweet!

Then I bought a car, got a girlfriend, my own place..........

After all I had to do SOMETHING with all that money!

JLee

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11963 on: January 23, 2016, 10:49:00 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

That's unfortunate - not wanting anything is an awesome feeling, and is a perfect time to save/invest everything!

Mermaid3011

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11964 on: January 23, 2016, 11:33:55 AM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

You did your best! But hey.... a bit of a show off isnt he?! I mean... who talks like that at work?!?

randymarsh

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11965 on: January 23, 2016, 01:34:44 PM »
Coworker who is always complaining about money: "A few years ago EVIL_BANK charged me $3,000 in overdraft fees! Then a few weeks ago my NEW_EVIL_BANK charged me $70 for overdrafting because they pay largest transactions first!!! So unfair!".



Merrie

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11966 on: January 23, 2016, 01:46:22 PM »
For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

I used to deliberately wear my kids through security when they were little. I'd get my palms swabbed, but avoid the pervo-scanner.

johnny847

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11967 on: January 23, 2016, 02:08:24 PM »
Coworker who is always complaining about money: "A few years ago EVIL_BANK charged me $3,000 in overdraft fees! Then a few weeks ago my NEW_EVIL_BANK charged me $70 for overdrafting because they pay largest transactions first!!! So unfair!".

I'm actually kind of impressed this coworker managed to even get charged $3000 in overdraft fees. Of course, I understand there's a high chance he or she was exaggerating.

randymarsh

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11968 on: January 23, 2016, 02:29:40 PM »
Coworker who is always complaining about money: "A few years ago EVIL_BANK charged me $3,000 in overdraft fees! Then a few weeks ago my NEW_EVIL_BANK charged me $70 for overdrafting because they pay largest transactions first!!! So unfair!".

I'm actually kind of impressed this coworker managed to even get charged $3000 in overdraft fees. Of course, I understand there's a high chance he or she was exaggerating.

I'm hoping they're exaggerating, but it's conceivable they spent an entire year overdrafting 10 times the week leading up to payday, then their account would be in the black for a few weeks. Repeat.

87tweetybirds

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11969 on: January 23, 2016, 02:39:26 PM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

You did your best! But hey.... a bit of a show off isnt he?! I mean... who talks like that at work?!?


Well to be fair it was like 4 am and by that time of the shift you do get a little sleep drunk and have conversations you'd never have if you were well rested and working days. And he was partly joking and comparing himself with another coworker who is a self admitted shopaholic.

Mermaid3011

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11970 on: January 23, 2016, 03:11:06 PM »
Today at work a coworker said "I have so much money I don't know what to do with it." He went on to say he already bought everything he wanted and now doesn't know how to spend his money. He's in his early 20s, single, working a full time job at probably about a base wage of $22/hr with recently having as much overtime as he wants. Every extra shift (12 hour shift)pays $6 more above base pay and then the overtime pay on top of that. He probably works 60 hours a week. Shares an apartment with his brother, also same employer, different department. I suggested he contribute to a retirement account which was met with skepticism and disbelief of course. Oh well. I tried.

You did your best! But hey.... a bit of a show off isnt he?! I mean... who talks like that at work?!?


Well to be fair it was like 4 am and by that time of the shift you do get a little sleep drunk and have conversations you'd never have if you were well rested and working days. And he was partly joking and comparing himself with another coworker who is a self admitted shopaholic.

Ahh yes that explains it! :)

RetiredAt63

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11971 on: January 23, 2016, 03:28:50 PM »
I am also that random white female with a very UK name in her 60's getting scanned (better than the patdown, by about .5%).  OK, before the next trip I am colouring my hair (I have been letting the grey show a bit, no more).  I'll let you know how that goes.
FWIW, I used to be fine, and suddenly it is every time!  It gets lame when I get checked both flights when I have a connection.  Plus renewing my passport was super easy and fast, so Canadian Citizenship and Immigration has no issues with me.

(And as the human half of a therapy dog team, I value my law-abiding status).

For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

nobodyspecial

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11972 on: January 23, 2016, 03:55:39 PM »
I am also that random white female with a very UK name in her 60's getting scanned (better than the patdown, by about .5%).  OK, before the next trip I am colouring my hair (I have been letting the grey show a bit, no more).  I'll let you know how that goes.
There were stories of little old ladies being stopped and searched in London .
The UK police can stop and search people essentially at random, and to counter the impression that used this to harass young black men they had to publish the statistics of the stops.
So  a picture of having to stop and search 100 little old white ladies at the end of the month to make the numbers look good.


   

RetiredAt63

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11973 on: January 23, 2016, 04:17:01 PM »
Hmm.  These were Canada/Canada and Canada/US.  I even had my car pulled over the last time I drove south.  Just checked my small bag and looked in the back, nothing major, but the first time ever.

Some "random" searches clearly are not.  The winter of 2002 the 3 of us were in Hawai'i, flying from Honolulu to Maui - a commuter flight, really.  They pulled everyone with a non-US passport out of line for a "random" check, and no-one with a US passport.  We hadn't seen our daughter for several weeks, she had just joined us, and the delay meant we didn't get to sit together.  Not a good start to her vacation.  (This was when there were rumours that the terrorists had come across the border from Canada, instead of having been in the US for several months already and never having been near Canada. Twits).


I am also that random white female with a very UK name in her 60's getting scanned (better than the patdown, by about .5%).  OK, before the next trip I am colouring my hair (I have been letting the grey show a bit, no more).  I'll let you know how that goes.
There were stories of little old ladies being stopped and searched in London .
The UK police can stop and search people essentially at random, and to counter the impression that used this to harass young black men they had to publish the statistics of the stops.
So  a picture of having to stop and search 100 little old white ladies at the end of the month to make the numbers look good.


   

Mermaid3011

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11974 on: January 23, 2016, 04:49:53 PM »
(This was when there were rumours that the terrorists had come across the border from Canada, instead of having been in the US for several months already and never having been near Canada. Twits).

LOL yes... same here! German passport issued in Hamburg was not a good thing in 2002 when they had found out that the terrorists had studied in Hamburg... My purse was checked TWICE between security and boarding a flight to NYC...

And I am also the human part of a service dog team - I wonder when they start scanning my dogs paws for remnants of explosives...

nobodyspecial

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11975 on: January 23, 2016, 04:59:45 PM »
(This was when there were rumours that the terrorists had come across the border from Canada, instead of having been in the US for several months already and never having been near Canada. Twits).
I loved their attempt to wriggle out of this when they said that they had meant the terrorists had flown over Canada on their way to the USA !
 

Making Cookies

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11976 on: January 24, 2016, 05:45:15 PM »
Granted, every time I've tried to get screened, my poor GF always winds up being 'Random White Female'. And then I laugh at her in front of the rest of the line of people, and make comments degrading the concept of TSA doing anything. Still haven't been screened personally though.

Oh, hey, I'm also Random White Female!  I just loved when a disgruntled TSA agent decided to make a spectacle of me -- she took all of my possessions out of my roller-bag, made me wait at the far table while she went back to the x-ray machine and put all of my things through it again but this time my things were scattered outside the bag, and then abandoned my things on the conveyor belt, all while I still hadn't been released to leave the table.  To top it off, I got to miss my flight!

Was returning to southern Europe where I was living at the time back in the 90s. I had a duffle bag of car parts b/c I could get them here in the USA cheaper and easier with no linguistic hurdles. This wasn't too many years (2-3) after the Lockerbee, Scotland crash so Heathrow airport was still taking security seriously.

You should have seen the X-ray scanner operator's eyes bug out as my bag went through security. Shock absorbers might look like alot of unfriendly stuff on the scanner.

Missed my flight, etc. The airline got me on another flight, different airline at no extra cost to me. Everyone was very nice.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11977 on: January 25, 2016, 02:52:01 AM »
There were stories of little old ladies being stopped and searched in London .
The UK police can stop and search people essentially at random, and to counter the impression that used this to harass young black men they had to publish the statistics of the stops.
So  a picture of having to stop and search 100 little old white ladies at the end of the month to make the numbers look good.

To clarify this:
There are pretty strict rules about when the UK Police are permitted to use stop and search. The issue came about because Police were searching both when the criteria were met and when they felt suspicious about someone but the legal requirements weren't met. These illegal searches were disproportionately aimed at young black men, so they initially tried to cover this up by illegally searching the old white women so that the stats were less skewed. There is now more effort put into identifying and stopping illegal searches but it's still a problem.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11978 on: January 25, 2016, 08:13:08 AM »
For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

Oh, so you meant from red head to red head? lol

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11979 on: January 25, 2016, 08:23:39 AM »
For a few years I would get the explosives swab every time I went through an airport as the random white female without fail. As of last year it just stopped. I've been through 11 airports since and not been searched once.

The only thing that I can think has changed is my hair from its natural gingery light brown to red.

It's because they've got too much common sense to risk angering a true ginger, lest their souls be stolen. But they're willing to take their chances by fucking with a daywalker.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11980 on: January 25, 2016, 08:35:04 AM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.


smalllife

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11981 on: January 25, 2016, 08:38:21 AM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.

Haha - I grew up on the packets, but as I took over groceries I went from name brand > store brand > make your own.  Still eat it every morning, but for a fraction of the cost.  Five minutes every  few weeks, same effort each morning as before.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11982 on: January 25, 2016, 08:48:22 AM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.

This reminds me of the time my wife was telling me that her mom refused to buy the bulk oatmeal tub and called her cheap for not wanting to buy the individually packaged oatmeal.

As if mixing oatmeal, brown sugar and cinnamon is soooo complicated or even time consuming for that matter...

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11983 on: January 25, 2016, 09:46:10 AM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.

This reminds me of the time my wife was telling me that her mom refused to buy the bulk oatmeal tub and called her cheap for not wanting to buy the individually packaged oatmeal.

As if mixing oatmeal, brown sugar and cinnamon is soooo complicated or even time consuming for that matter...

If cheap = not spending $ on things that do not add anything positive to my life, sign me up.

I'd rather buy the bulk oatmeal (with less sugar) and have the extra money to have grilled salmon for dinner, y'know?

Mermaid3011

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11984 on: January 25, 2016, 10:32:18 AM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.

Wow. Just wow. I mean... I grew up only knowing the 1-2 lb bags of oatmeal. There was nothing like prepackaged and flavoured oatmeal. A spoon of chocolate milk powder would make the chocolate variety and otherwise a spoon form the cinnamon sugar jar (of course also self prepared).

Shakes head... wanders off to heat her lunch. Butter chicken with rice. Cooked at home and portioned for lunches at work... ts ts ts...

onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11985 on: January 25, 2016, 10:33:48 AM »

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!

Do it.

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11986 on: January 25, 2016, 12:09:59 PM »

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!

Do it.

Using your exact phonetics for the Berlin dialect, and making a few adjustments for the way Russian handles diphthongs but preserving the double letters of the original German which makes the words obviously non-Russian, that works out to:

Вєнн ду дас лєсєн каннст, бистє кайн дууфєр Вєссий.



onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11987 on: January 25, 2016, 12:17:49 PM »

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!

Do it.

Using your exact phonetics for the Berlin dialect, and making a few adjustments for the way Russian handles diphthongs but preserving the double letters of the original German which makes the words obviously non-Russian, that works out to:

Вєнн ду дас лєсєн каннст, бистє кайн дууфєр Вєссий.

Thanks!  I can't find my original shirt, but this looks right on.  I'm not native in either language (but have lived/worked in both countries), so I may be off, but I think "doofer" was written differently in my original shirt I got in Brandenburg.  If I were reading that word in Cyrllic outloud in american English, I'd say more "dufer" than "doh-ver", right?

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11988 on: January 25, 2016, 12:32:39 PM »

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!

Do it.

Using your exact phonetics for the Berlin dialect, and making a few adjustments for the way Russian handles diphthongs but preserving the double letters of the original German which makes the words obviously non-Russian, that works out to:

Вєнн ду дас лєсєн каннст, бистє кайн дууфєр Вєссий.

Thanks!  I can't find my original shirt, but this looks right on.  I'm not native in either language (but have lived/worked in both countries), so I may be off, but I think "doofer" was written differently in my original shirt I got in Brandenburg.  If I were reading that word in Cyrllic outloud in american English, I'd say more "dufer" than "doh-ver", right?

Reminds me of a shirt I saw in "The Sum of All Fears," it's in Russian but it says something like, "I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up."

Ashyukun

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11989 on: January 25, 2016, 12:36:56 PM »
Granted, every time I've tried to get screened, my poor GF always winds up being 'Random White Female'. And then I laugh at her in front of the rest of the line of people, and make comments degrading the concept of TSA doing anything. Still haven't been screened personally though.

Oh, hey, I'm also Random White Female!  I just loved when a disgruntled TSA agent decided to make a spectacle of me -- she took all of my possessions out of my roller-bag, made me wait at the far table while she went back to the x-ray machine and put all of my things through it again but this time my things were scattered outside the bag, and then abandoned my things on the conveyor belt, all while I still hadn't been released to leave the table.  To top it off, I got to miss my flight!

Was returning to southern Europe where I was living at the time back in the 90s. I had a duffle bag of car parts b/c I could get them here in the USA cheaper and easier with no linguistic hurdles. This wasn't too many years (2-3) after the Lockerbee, Scotland crash so Heathrow airport was still taking security seriously.

You should have seen the X-ray scanner operator's eyes bug out as my bag went through security. Shock absorbers might look like alot of unfriendly stuff on the scanner.

Missed my flight, etc. The airline got me on another flight, different airline at no extra cost to me. Everyone was very nice.

Back in the very late 80's I had gotten very heavily into racing radio-controlled cars. We were living in Durham, NC and my family was flying out to visit my Grandparents in San Diego for a week or so over Christmas. Since I really wanted to be able to play with my cars while on vacation, my carry-on was a big plastic tool/tackle box. I forget whether I took one or two cars, but took a lot of the tools and parts necessary for maintaining the cars along with me as well as, of course, their radios. The tackle box was rather heavy, not small, and packed full of radio equipment, electric motors, wiring, springs and shocks, shock fluid, oils (this was after all over a decade before 9/11) and tools. Being like 14, I didn't think at all about the potential concerns of taking all of this onto an airplane (as well as not wanting it to come open and spill parts everywhere if it were checked and tossed around) and happily plopped the thing on the X-ray conveyor and went through the metal detector.

The X-ray tech's eyes got so wide when it went through you'd have thought he was a Disney cartoon character. He franticly waved over the security officer nearby and his eyes go about as wide. He saunters over to the exit of the X-ray belt (which the tech stopped with the tackle box in front of him and says, "Whose luggage is this?"

Little 13-year-old me pipes up and says that it's mine- at which point he looks at me in disbelief and accusingly at my parents- who both are trying not to laugh (my Dad was active-duty Military at this point in time, so they're not particularly worried). The security officer asks if he can open the tackle box and inspect its contents, and I shrug and say 'OK.' He proceeds to pull half of everything out of the box and ask me what it is- and of course gets a rather lengthy explanation on all of it from me- until he gets down to the bottom to the actual car(s). He eventually decided that it was indeed mine and that it was just as innocuous as I was (or at least appeared to be) and let me pack it back up and continue on to our flight.

I don't think I got any grief from the San Diego airport security checkpoint though, strangely enough...

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11990 on: January 25, 2016, 12:44:40 PM »

I was an exchange student deep in the former DDR and had a T-shirt that said, in the Cyrllic alphabet:

Wenn du das lesen kannst, biste kein doofer Wessi.  (If you can read this, you're no idiot West German.)

In order to understand the letters, you had to speak Russian.  Once you got that far, though, the sounds the letters made were nonsensical unless you spoke German (and were familiar with the Berlin dialect, to boot). 

I should have it remade.
Oh my god, I must have this for my girlfriend. She would kill for that!

Do it.

Using your exact phonetics for the Berlin dialect, and making a few adjustments for the way Russian handles diphthongs but preserving the double letters of the original German which makes the words obviously non-Russian, that works out to:

Вєнн ду дас лєсєн каннст, бистє кайн дууфєр Вєссий.

Thanks!  I can't find my original shirt, but this looks right on.  I'm not native in either language (but have lived/worked in both countries), so I may be off, but I think "doofer" was written differently in my original shirt I got in Brandenburg.  If I were reading that word in Cyrllic outloud in american English, I'd say more "dufer" than "doh-ver", right?

Yes, because the Russian "y" letter is pronounced "oo". Two "y" letters are actually redundant in Russian. Repeated Russian vowels don't occur except in rare cases when a word is imported from another language and one syllable ends in the letter while the next syllable begins with the same letter without an intervening consonant. I included both "y" letters to duplicate the spelling you gave, but one "y" for the "oo" "doofer" is more technically correct Russian.

If you want a long "o" sound like you'd hear in the English word "cold", the Russian character you'd want would be

о

not "y" which is "oo".

The funky letter that looks like a bisected circle is pronounced "f". If you need more of a "v" pronunciation, the correct letter for that is one of the little capital B's, like this:

в

Not to be confused with б, which is pronounced like an English "b".

So if you wanted to reproduce something that sounds like "dover", it would be

довєр

partgypsy

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11991 on: January 25, 2016, 12:48:01 PM »
Reminds me of the story when my parents were coming back from Greece on Vacation, and my Dad had packed a pound or so of dried Greek Oregano to bring home, and also bought a plastic gun for my brother as a gift. When they got to Heathrow and through customs, the officer opened his luggage and pulled out a giant bag of -green stuff- with one hand, and the black plastic gun in the other, with a look of disbelief on his face. But it was resolved rather quickly.

onlykelsey

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11992 on: January 25, 2016, 12:48:51 PM »
I figured out why it looked weird to me.  I think my original shirt said dummer Wessi, not doofer.

https://verslaven.wordpress.com/2007/03/21/gruse-aus-der-ddr/

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11993 on: January 25, 2016, 01:06:02 PM »
My colleague was complaining about the cost of oatmeal. Turns out her kids eat oatmeal every morning (sounds great so far), but she doesn't know how to make oatmeal, so she buys the uber-sugary 16Xthe cost packets of instant oatmeal. One per kid. Every day. And when I told her that she could just buy instant oatmeal in a large bag and microwave THAT (it'd be about 1/8th of the cost even if NOT buying in bulk... and less sugar), she said that was 'too complicated'.

Measuring your instant oatmeal before microwaving it = too complicated = worth an 8x mark-up. Ok then.

This reminds me of the time my wife was telling me that her mom refused to buy the bulk oatmeal tub and called her cheap for not wanting to buy the individually packaged oatmeal.

As if mixing oatmeal, brown sugar and cinnamon is soooo complicated or even time consuming for that matter...

If cheap = not spending $ on things that do not add anything positive to my life, sign me up.

I'd rather buy the bulk oatmeal (with less sugar) and have the extra money to have grilled salmon for dinner, y'know?

Yeah, it's only cheap if you refuse to buy something you do like, and can afford, due to the price.  It's not cheap to refuse to buy overpriced crap. 

Does your coworker only purchase those little individual-size boxes of cereal, or is she capable of pouring the desired amount into the bowl and then eyeballing the proper amount of milk?

RecoveringCarClown

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11994 on: January 25, 2016, 01:12:37 PM »
Our kids' school just changed boundaries. They changed the boundaries because they are putting in a new school. The parents' Facebook page has people trying to buy houses in the school's redefined boundaries. When the first family posted that they found a new place I laughed it off, but now there are about a half dozen families selling their houses and looking for a place in the original school's boundary so their kids won't lose their friends.

A bunch of renters have already notified their LLs that they are leaving and are watching for new places. They are banding together to find a building that all their families can move into at once.

One family is offering to sell their address to use on address transfer forms, and forward any mail so other families don't have to move.

Now a real estate agent has gotten in on the act as a specialist for relocating families into the school's catchment area.

Yeah its a good school - but come on... This is all a little ridiculous.

I have several first hand examples of this exact phenomenon.  As crazy as it sounds,  I think it may be more common than one would think.

Sam E

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11995 on: January 25, 2016, 01:14:03 PM »
Our kids' school just changed boundaries. They changed the boundaries because they are putting in a new school. The parents' Facebook page has people trying to buy houses in the school's redefined boundaries. When the first family posted that they found a new place I laughed it off, but now there are about a half dozen families selling their houses and looking for a place in the original school's boundary so their kids won't lose their friends.

A bunch of renters have already notified their LLs that they are leaving and are watching for new places. They are banding together to find a building that all their families can move into at once.

One family is offering to sell their address to use on address transfer forms, and forward any mail so other families don't have to move.

Now a real estate agent has gotten in on the act as a specialist for relocating families into the school's catchment area.

Yeah its a good school - but come on... This is all a little ridiculous.

Isn't it possible to send kids to school outside the boundaries your house falls into, though? I knew kids in high school who went to my school despite living on the other side of the city just because their parents wanted them to. Wouldn't "My kids have spent years going to this school already" be considered an even better reason? I'm not a parent so don't know how that stuff works exactly, but it just seems crazy to me that it would actually be required to move houses just because the schools changed their boundaries in the middle of a student's school career.

mtn

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11996 on: January 25, 2016, 01:21:14 PM »
Our kids' school just changed boundaries. They changed the boundaries because they are putting in a new school. The parents' Facebook page has people trying to buy houses in the school's redefined boundaries. When the first family posted that they found a new place I laughed it off, but now there are about a half dozen families selling their houses and looking for a place in the original school's boundary so their kids won't lose their friends.

A bunch of renters have already notified their LLs that they are leaving and are watching for new places. They are banding together to find a building that all their families can move into at once.

One family is offering to sell their address to use on address transfer forms, and forward any mail so other families don't have to move.

Now a real estate agent has gotten in on the act as a specialist for relocating families into the school's catchment area.

Yeah its a good school - but come on... This is all a little ridiculous.

Isn't it possible to send kids to school outside the boundaries your house falls into, though? I knew kids in high school who went to my school despite living on the other side of the city just because their parents wanted them to. Wouldn't "My kids have spent years going to this school already" be considered an even better reason? I'm not a parent so don't know how that stuff works exactly, but it just seems crazy to me that it would actually be required to move houses just because the schools changed their boundaries in the middle of a student's school career.

Not where we live in Illinois. They may make exceptions--I had a friend who moved to a different school boundary within the same district who's mom drove him to his old school, but they only let that happen because he was in 5th grade and only had one year left before he went to middle school (4 elementary schools, 1 middle school in our district). His little brother (1st grade) went to the "new" school.

I could see it above if the new school wasn't the same district. That happened with my best friend in college--new high school, he was the first graduating class. Even though it was the same district, he said the teachers were really pretty bad compared to the old high school. For me, the reason that I'll be buying a house where I end up buying it is because of the schools.

Goldielocks

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11997 on: January 26, 2016, 12:46:22 AM »
How many people here have read The Audacity of Hope (by Barack Obama)? I don't find myself completely politically aligned with him, but his first chapter (which is all of what I have read so far) is an outstanding view on the political system. I liked it.
I don't read anything by homosexual atheist Muslims who spend 25 hours a day trying to destroy America and putting their grubby socialist hands all over my Medicare. (only a slight exaggeration of typical parlance here)

I actually think I might find that interesting.

Atheist Muslim --  that's an oxymoron...or just not possible... like "giant midget" or whatnot.

I will assume you are being funny in "vernacular" voice?

marty998

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11998 on: January 26, 2016, 02:33:28 AM »
How many people here have read The Audacity of Hope (by Barack Obama)? I don't find myself completely politically aligned with him, but his first chapter (which is all of what I have read so far) is an outstanding view on the political system. I liked it.
I don't read anything by homosexual atheist Kenyan born Muslims who spend 25 hours a day trying to destroy America and putting their grubby socialist hands all over my Medicare. (only a slight exaggeration of typical parlance here)

I actually think I might find that interesting.

Atheist Muslim --  that's an oxymoron...or just not possible... like "giant midget" or whatnot.

I will assume you are being funny in "vernacular" voice?

FTFY

DKitty

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #11999 on: January 26, 2016, 05:03:36 AM »
People are talking about the lottery at work, one woman has just admitted that she has 42 a month direct debit to all the various lotteries because 'you only need your numbers to come up once'. Nobody seems to think this amount of money every month is crazy...