Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 4746816 times)

Kitsunegari

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10950 on: October 16, 2015, 11:49:11 AM »
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)
Nothing happens in contrast with Nature, only in contradiction of what we know of it.

bsmith

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10951 on: October 16, 2015, 11:53:59 AM »
Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Avidconsumer

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10952 on: October 16, 2015, 11:54:50 AM »
Quote
I don't re-wear dirty clothes. I've gotten too used to clean clothes all the time. After a while you can tell the difference.

Facepunch for hedonic adaptation. http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/10/22/what-is-hedonic-adaptation-and-how-can-it-turn-you-into-a-sukka/

It's just a matter of opinion. To me the cost is negligible compared to the benefit. Living in a house is hedonic in that case. Everyone's deserves facepunches. Showering is hedonic. We don't need to shower that often. Having clean clothes is the same as showering to me.

We sweat 0.8-1.4 liters a day and lose 40,000 skin cells, which is nice. I prefer my jeans a few pounds lighter I guess.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2015, 11:58:14 AM by Avidconsumer »

Kitsunegari

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10953 on: October 16, 2015, 11:58:26 AM »
Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
Nothing happens in contrast with Nature, only in contradiction of what we know of it.

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10954 on: October 16, 2015, 12:27:54 PM »
If I heard that I would need to take a walk around the block muttering "what the fuck?" to myself over and over. You are a truly tolerant person to not have said "what is wrong with you?"

maco

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10955 on: October 16, 2015, 12:31:26 PM »
Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
That doesn't make it not sexual harassment. Gay men can absolutely sexually harass women, just like straight women can sexually harass women.

Kitsunegari

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10956 on: October 16, 2015, 12:34:38 PM »
If I heard that I would need to take a walk around the block muttering "what the fuck?" to myself over and over. You are a truly tolerant person to not have said "what is wrong with you?"

Well, a few months ago he ask me if during the period we see the egg that is dying, so I know he's a bit ignorant on some regards.
This is why we need sex ed in schools, people!
Nothing happens in contrast with Nature, only in contradiction of what we know of it.

Kitsunegari

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10957 on: October 16, 2015, 12:37:56 PM »
Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
That doesn't make it not sexual harassment. Gay men can absolutely sexually harass women, just like straight women can sexually harass women.

He was not intimidating or offensive. I reconize gay people can harrass straight people of same or opposite gender, but this was not the case.
Nothing happens in contrast with Nature, only in contradiction of what we know of it.

mm1970

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10958 on: October 16, 2015, 01:09:48 PM »
Willpower is truly a finite thing...
Oh yes, it is! Your willpower can get depleted by small things so that you dont have any left for gib things, too. That is why poor people often have no willpower - all that thinking about how to get work, to buy this little thing or not, how to get the kids to school... they use up half the willpower a company CEO has just by shopping.

But willpower also behaves like a muscle, you can train it.
I realized this on vacation staying with family.  Fridges full of soda, beer, sugary snacks, chips, candy.

I put as much stuff away as I could.

But seriously, I hadn't realized how much of my at home willpower is because I just don't have that stuff around.

MrMoogle

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10959 on: October 16, 2015, 01:22:42 PM »
Willpower is truly a finite thing...
Oh yes, it is! Your willpower can get depleted by small things so that you dont have any left for gib things, too. That is why poor people often have no willpower - all that thinking about how to get work, to buy this little thing or not, how to get the kids to school... they use up half the willpower a company CEO has just by shopping.

But willpower also behaves like a muscle, you can train it.
It takes a little willpower to not buy it at the store, but a lot of willpower not to eat it once it's been bought.  Once it's home, I've already eaten it in my mind.
I realized this on vacation staying with family.  Fridges full of soda, beer, sugary snacks, chips, candy.

I put as much stuff away as I could.

But seriously, I hadn't realized how much of my at home willpower is because I just don't have that stuff around.

Sam E

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10960 on: October 17, 2015, 06:32:55 AM »
Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
That doesn't make it not sexual harassment. Gay men can absolutely sexually harass women, just like straight women can sexually harass women.

Harassment is always in the eye of the beholder. If she didn't feel harassed, it wasn't harassment. There's no point in trying to convince someone to get offended at something that didn't offend them.

maco

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10961 on: October 17, 2015, 08:04:31 AM »
Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
That doesn't make it not sexual harassment. Gay men can absolutely sexually harass women, just like straight women can sexually harass women.

Harassment is always in the eye of the beholder. If she didn't feel harassed, it wasn't harassment. There's no point in trying to convince someone to get offended at something that didn't offend them.
Just in case she was offended at the time and was then trying to rationalize it away after. Rationalizing rape away is common; why wouldn't it be for harassment?

maco

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10962 on: October 17, 2015, 08:05:48 AM »
Willpower is truly a finite thing...
Oh yes, it is! Your willpower can get depleted by small things so that you dont have any left for gib things, too. That is why poor people often have no willpower - all that thinking about how to get work, to buy this little thing or not, how to get the kids to school... they use up half the willpower a company CEO has just by shopping.

But willpower also behaves like a muscle, you can train it.
I realized this on vacation staying with family.  Fridges full of soda, beer, sugary snacks, chips, candy.

I put as much stuff away as I could.

But seriously, I hadn't realized how much of my at home willpower is because I just don't have that stuff around.
I keep trying to explain this to the other members of my household >_<

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10963 on: October 17, 2015, 01:42:58 PM »
Willpower is truly a finite thing...
Oh yes, it is! Your willpower can get depleted by small things so that you dont have any left for gib things, too. That is why poor people often have no willpower - all that thinking about how to get work, to buy this little thing or not, how to get the kids to school... they use up half the willpower a company CEO has just by shopping.

But willpower also behaves like a muscle, you can train it.
I realized this on vacation staying with family.  Fridges full of soda, beer, sugary snacks, chips, candy.

I put as much stuff away as I could.

But seriously, I hadn't realized how much of my at home willpower is because I just don't have that stuff around.
I keep trying to explain this to the other members of my household >_<

Never shop hungry

notquitefrugal

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10964 on: October 17, 2015, 07:47:03 PM »
But seriously, I hadn't realized how much of my at home willpower is because I just don't have that stuff around.
That's my strategy. I don't buy bread or sweets to keep in my house. I'll gladly buy them to leave at work or at other peoples' houses, though!

Seems to be a common strategy. A lady at work wanted a piece of caramel cake, so she made a caramel cake, ate one piece, and brought the rest to work the next day. It was gone in about an hour.

notquitefrugal

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10965 on: October 17, 2015, 07:53:03 PM »
In copier room...

CW: Damn, the machine is out of paper again, why doesn't anyone load this thing.

Opens a skein of paper, removes 3 sheets, puts them in the side feed, hits print, leaves open skein on top of printer and walks out.

Me: Cringe.

I'm not sure what the etiquette is on this. Our "big" copier holds 10+ reams of paper. Maybe 15. I reloaded it with about 4-5 reams the other day, not filling it full, because this is not a time of year when that machine sees a lot of volume. Also, I wasn't 100% sure which trays/stacks are supposed to have plain white paper. Should I have tried to fill everything with plain paper?

nobodyspecial

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10966 on: October 17, 2015, 08:41:29 PM »

I'm not sure what the etiquette is on this. Our "big" copier holds 10+ reams of paper. ...Should I have tried to fill everything with plain paper?
You should write "I will kill again !!!" in red lipstick on the back of a singe sheet in the middle of the stack - especially if you are a govt dept that sends out lots of PR stuff 

LeRainDrop

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10967 on: October 17, 2015, 11:06:58 PM »
I work with mostly Women and hearing them talk about material items is quite amusing. Best comment so far: "I get 3 designer dresses each month for only $100. I just wear them and send them back... each month it charges me automatically and they send me 3 dresses..."

Ummm- Just me or is this absolutely insane? 1,200$ a year on dresses you don't even get to keep?!

But . . . but . . . they are *designer*!!!

11ducks

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10968 on: October 18, 2015, 01:33:00 AM »

I'm not sure what the etiquette is on this. Our "big" copier holds 10+ reams of paper. ...Should I have tried to fill everything with plain paper?
You should write "I will kill again !!!" in red lipstick on the back of a singe sheet in the middle of the stack - especially if you are a govt dept that sends out lots of PR stuff

I am so doing this at work tomorrow...
Cheaper beans...CHEAPER BEANS! - dagiffy1

pancakes

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10969 on: October 18, 2015, 04:36:58 AM »
I had the strangest conversation with someone at work. They run their own business and are working with us for a short time.

They flat our asked me what my salary is which is strange and I figured some kind of power game because they continued to drop into the conversation references to what other people earn and the fact that he earns more. When that figure got up to $250k I made a comment that if I earned that much I would only need to work for a few years.

This apparently wasn't something they had ever considered and I was delivered a lecture about how if you have money you just find new ways to spend it.

When I explained that I save half of what I earn (which is far less) he just stared at me in utter shock. He showed me pictures of his collection of classic cars thinking that I would be impressed and I responded that I didn't own a car because I didn't need one. Apparently this was also the first time he had encountered an adult who didn't own a car.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10970 on: October 18, 2015, 06:10:35 AM »
In copier room...

CW: Damn, the machine is out of paper again, why doesn't anyone load this thing.

Opens a skein of paper, removes 3 sheets, puts them in the side feed, hits print, leaves open skein on top of printer and walks out.

Me: Cringe.

I have a small office so it wouldn't be the same at a large corporation, but I believe that I or anyone else that saw this would ream the person for not putting in a full package of paper. I got on one of the guys from the warehouse for not refilling the napkin holder, just grabbed a single one. Just common courtesy.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10971 on: October 18, 2015, 07:17:43 AM »

..... or anyone else that saw this would ream the person for not putting in a full package of paper......

Ream a person for not inserting a ream of paper?

I have no idea how anyone learns English (or American)  :-)

Tjat

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10972 on: October 18, 2015, 07:20:10 AM »

It's just a matter of opinion. To me the cost is negligible compared to the benefit. Living in a house is hedonic in that case. Everyone's deserves facepunches. Showering is hedonic. We don't need to shower that often. Having clean clothes is the same as showering to me.

We sweat 0.8-1.4 liters a day and lose 40,000 skin cells, which is nice. I prefer my jeans a few pounds lighter I guess.

+1

Awhile back there was a thread where posters bragged about not showering or using soap, let alone laundry or deodorant. Over time the non-showerer gets used to it and claims they don't smell. But you know when you walk into someone's house and it smells a bit funky? yeah

paddedhat

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10973 on: October 18, 2015, 07:38:13 AM »

 Washing clothes is ridiculously expensive even if you do it at home. At home, drying a load of clothes costs $1-$3 per load and washing costs another $1 per load in water and gas to heat the water and electricity to spin the tank.

Not sure where you got these silly ideas, but it doesn't take much thought to reach the conclusion that your figures are wildly overblown.  Going by your highest figure, my electric bill would be roughly double, so it just doesn't add up. A quick Google search was coming up with figures of less than a dollar, all in, wash, dry, water soap, electric, hot water etc.. To further drill down, this calculator

http://michaelbluejay.com/electricity/laundry.html

gave me an exact # of $0.83 a load. This is in an all electric home with a mostly hot and warm water being used. There are other locations and techniques where doing the job is a fraction of my cost.

notquitefrugal

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10974 on: October 18, 2015, 08:57:52 AM »
We got our pay slips the other day and I made the mistake of saying I had forgotten it was payday! The reaction was priceless.

Seppia

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10975 on: October 18, 2015, 09:07:27 AM »

Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
That doesn't make it not sexual harassment. Gay men can absolutely sexually harass women, just like straight women can sexually harass women.

Harassment is always in the eye of the beholder. If she didn't feel harassed, it wasn't harassment. There's no point in trying to convince someone to get offended at something that didn't offend them.
Just in case she was offended at the time and was then trying to rationalize it away after. Rationalizing rape away is common; why wouldn't it be for harassment?

Yeah the guy should be stoned to death, minimum.
Harden the f*ck up people, and give the poor gay guy a break, how dishonest is to put "rape" in the conversation here?

Rezdent

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10976 on: October 18, 2015, 09:13:14 AM »

 Washing clothes is ridiculously expensive even if you do it at home. At home, drying a load of clothes costs $1-$3 per load and washing costs another $1 per load in water and gas to heat the water and electricity to spin the tank.

Not sure where you got these silly ideas, but it doesn't take much thought to reach the conclusion that your figures are wildly overblown.  Going by your highest figure, my electric bill would be roughly double, so it just doesn't add up. A quick Google search was coming up with figures of less than a dollar, all in, wash, dry, water soap, electric, hot water etc.. To further drill down, this calculator

http://michaelbluejay.com/electricity/laundry.html

gave me an exact # of $0.83 a load. This is in an all electric home with a mostly hot and warm water being used. There are other locations and techniques where doing the job is a fraction of my cost.
Hmm.

Last time I ran a cost analysis was about 18 months ago, and our loads were costing almost 2 dollars then, still cheaper than a laundromat.  I'm guessing some of the difference is older, CL-procured machines, cheaper to buy but more costly to run.
Energy and water costs are also part of the difference.
I am on coop for electricity, no options to change.
Dryer is propane, so costs change with every tank.
Water is still cheap, but costs more than larger cities because we are on a small community water supplier.

All the more reason for us to optimize loads.

Tamster

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10977 on: October 18, 2015, 01:31:52 PM »
Thanks for the laundry link calculation site, I'm totally geeking out. :)

This was from my last job:

CW: so I owe a bunch of money in back real estate taxes. They keep sending me foreclosure notices.

Me: (after picking my jaw up) so when are you going to pay it?

CW: I don't know, I have a lot of other bills, plus our cell phones got shut off because I forgot to pay that bill.


maco

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10978 on: October 18, 2015, 03:03:12 PM »

Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
That doesn't make it not sexual harassment. Gay men can absolutely sexually harass women, just like straight women can sexually harass women.

Harassment is always in the eye of the beholder. If she didn't feel harassed, it wasn't harassment. There's no point in trying to convince someone to get offended at something that didn't offend them.
Just in case she was offended at the time and was then trying to rationalize it away after. Rationalizing rape away is common; why wouldn't it be for harassment?

Yeah the guy should be stoned to death, minimum.
Harden the f*ck up people, and give the poor gay guy a break, how dishonest is to put "rape" in the conversation here?
Wow, way to reducto ad absurdum. There are plenty of misunderstandings about definitions and lots of rationalizing in lots of situations. I gave an example, and you went to a weird place.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10979 on: October 18, 2015, 03:58:40 PM »

Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
That doesn't make it not sexual harassment. Gay men can absolutely sexually harass women, just like straight women can sexually harass women.

Harassment is always in the eye of the beholder. If she didn't feel harassed, it wasn't harassment. There's no point in trying to convince someone to get offended at something that didn't offend them.
Just in case she was offended at the time and was then trying to rationalize it away after. Rationalizing rape away is common; why wouldn't it be for harassment?

Yeah the guy should be stoned to death, minimum.
Harden the f*ck up people, and give the poor gay guy a break, how dishonest is to put "rape" in the conversation here?
Wow, way to reducto ad absurdum. There are plenty of misunderstandings about definitions and lots of rationalizing in lots of situations. I gave an example, and you went to a weird place.

Perhaps he/she went to a weird place, but I hate it when people use a drastic example as a way of shutting down a discussion. My aunt flipped out when she found out I was a Christian because she doesn't believe that someone should be able to sin and then just ask for forgiveness and be absolved, her example was, "What if someone rapes my daughter," and then pointed at her 3 year old, and then glared at me as if expecting me to defend any such action.

Cressida

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10980 on: October 18, 2015, 04:36:29 PM »

Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
That doesn't make it not sexual harassment. Gay men can absolutely sexually harass women, just like straight women can sexually harass women.

Harassment is always in the eye of the beholder. If she didn't feel harassed, it wasn't harassment. There's no point in trying to convince someone to get offended at something that didn't offend them.
Just in case she was offended at the time and was then trying to rationalize it away after. Rationalizing rape away is common; why wouldn't it be for harassment?

Yeah the guy should be stoned to death, minimum.
Harden the f*ck up people, and give the poor gay guy a break, how dishonest is to put "rape" in the conversation here?
Wow, way to reducto ad absurdum. There are plenty of misunderstandings about definitions and lots of rationalizing in lots of situations. I gave an example, and you went to a weird place.

Perhaps he/she went to a weird place, but I hate it when people use a drastic example as a way of shutting down a discussion. My aunt flipped out when she found out I was a Christian because she doesn't believe that someone should be able to sin and then just ask for forgiveness and be absolved, her example was, "What if someone rapes my daughter," and then pointed at her 3 year old, and then glared at me as if expecting me to defend any such action.

I think some people are misunderstanding maco's comment. The "drastic example" situation that MgoSam brought up usually goes something like this:

X is bad.
Rape is bad.
Therefore X is as bad as rape.

Which is a dumb argument. But this isn't what maco said. They said something more like this:

X is bad.
Rape is a lot worse.
Even though rape is really bad, people often rationalize rape after the fact as being not as bad as it actually was.
If people can rationalize away the badness of rape, they can easily rationalize away the badness of X since it's not as bad as rape.

See? Not the same thing.

Seppia

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10981 on: October 18, 2015, 04:37:19 PM »
Thanks MgoSam.
Sexual harassment is a terrible thing.
A gay guy that says "is that your milk" should at most make people laugh, not scream SEXUAL HARASSMENT! when the actual recipient of the comment has stated that there's no problem at all.
I absolutely adore the United States, but this ultra-attention to stupid stuff like this is detestable.


Argyle

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10982 on: October 18, 2015, 04:48:02 PM »
I think it's offensive and unfunny.  It's not sexual harassment as I would define it, but it's unpleasant.  People targeting others with jokes about personal/sexual subjects is all too common, and after the thousandth time or so, it gets old, so old.  Also people saying "Lighten up" and "It's just a joke!"  Maybe one time, it's just a joke.  After dozens and dozens, it feels like bullying.  Now, maybe you don't think so, and maybe you think it's funny or harmless or good clean fun or whatever.  But recognize that some people don't.  My response to the "joker" would be, "What is wrong with you?"

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10983 on: October 19, 2015, 06:24:46 AM »
Perhaps he/she went to a weird place, but I hate it when people use a drastic example as a way of shutting down a discussion. My aunt flipped out when she found out I was a Christian because she doesn't believe that someone should be able to sin and then just ask for forgiveness and be absolved, her example was, "What if someone rapes my daughter," and then pointed at her 3 year old, and then glared at me as if expecting me to defend any such action.

Is your family Hindu?

I have a Hindu cousin that switched from Hinduism to Rastafarian and another Hindu friend that switched to some form of Christianity. I have a lot of trouble understanding their choice on the switch.

Of course they both did it for their SO's.

mtn

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10984 on: October 19, 2015, 08:23:43 AM »
I think it's offensive and unfunny.  It's not sexual harassment as I would define it, but it's unpleasant.  People targeting others with jokes about personal/sexual subjects is all too common, and after the thousandth time or so, it gets old, so old.  Also people saying "Lighten up" and "It's just a joke!"  Maybe one time, it's just a joke.  After dozens and dozens, it feels like bullying.  Now, maybe you don't think so, and maybe you think it's funny or harmless or good clean fun or whatever.  But recognize that some people don't.  My response to the "joker" would be, "What is wrong with you?"

Sounds like he is a socially retarded guy who wasn't making a joke, or trying to be offensive at all, and aside from being horribly awkward and probably embarrassing himself (if he even realized it), didn't do anything wrong.

If a three year old asked that, would you say it was harassment? Offensive? I hope not. I'm guessing it is a similar situation here.

MgoSam

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10985 on: October 19, 2015, 08:29:56 AM »
Perhaps he/she went to a weird place, but I hate it when people use a drastic example as a way of shutting down a discussion. My aunt flipped out when she found out I was a Christian because she doesn't believe that someone should be able to sin and then just ask for forgiveness and be absolved, her example was, "What if someone rapes my daughter," and then pointed at her 3 year old, and then glared at me as if expecting me to defend any such action.

Is your family Hindu?

I have a Hindu cousin that switched from Hinduism to Rastafarian and another Hindu friend that switched to some form of Christianity. I have a lot of trouble understanding their choice on the switch.

Of course they both did it for their SO's.

Yeah

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10986 on: October 19, 2015, 08:54:32 AM »
That's nothing. I drink water while standing on the same ground that sometimes has dog crap on it.

Anje

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10987 on: October 19, 2015, 08:56:59 AM »
From todays lunch. Discussion around interest on loan.

CW1: "Company A has interest on house loan on 2,1 %"
CW2 is suitably impressed
CW1: "you've got to have at least 50% self capital, though"
CW2 is totally bummed.
CW1: "Yea, me and the missus have payed down hard on loan since we got out of college, so now we have more freedom. We pay around $ 2.500 a month."
CW2: "Yea, so do we. We just have a LOT of loan"

Yea. Maybe because CW2 bought that house in the absolutely most expencive part of an area stretching aprox 2 hours drive in any direction? And it isn't even close to work...

Kitsunegari

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10988 on: October 19, 2015, 09:10:42 AM »

Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
That doesn't make it not sexual harassment. Gay men can absolutely sexually harass women, just like straight women can sexually harass women.

Harassment is always in the eye of the beholder. If she didn't feel harassed, it wasn't harassment. There's no point in trying to convince someone to get offended at something that didn't offend them.
Just in case she was offended at the time and was then trying to rationalize it away after. Rationalizing rape away is common; why wouldn't it be for harassment?

Yeah the guy should be stoned to death, minimum.
Harden the f*ck up people, and give the poor gay guy a break, how dishonest is to put "rape" in the conversation here?
Wow, way to reducto ad absurdum. There are plenty of misunderstandings about definitions and lots of rationalizing in lots of situations. I gave an example, and you went to a weird place.

Perhaps he/she went to a weird place, but I hate it when people use a drastic example as a way of shutting down a discussion. My aunt flipped out when she found out I was a Christian because she doesn't believe that someone should be able to sin and then just ask for forgiveness and be absolved, her example was, "What if someone rapes my daughter," and then pointed at her 3 year old, and then glared at me as if expecting me to defend any such action.

I think some people are misunderstanding maco's comment. The "drastic example" situation that MgoSam brought up usually goes something like this:

X is bad.
Rape is bad.
Therefore X is as bad as rape.

Which is a dumb argument. But this isn't what maco said. They said something more like this:

X is bad.
Rape is a lot worse.
Even though rape is really bad, people often rationalize rape after the fact as being not as bad as it actually was.
If people can rationalize away the badness of rape, they can easily rationalize away the badness of X since it's not as bad as rape.

See? Not the same thing.

I think it's offensive and unfunny.  It's not sexual harassment as I would define it, but it's unpleasant.  People targeting others with jokes about personal/sexual subjects is all too common, and after the thousandth time or so, it gets old, so old.  Also people saying "Lighten up" and "It's just a joke!"  Maybe one time, it's just a joke.  After dozens and dozens, it feels like bullying.  Now, maybe you don't think so, and maybe you think it's funny or harmless or good clean fun or whatever.  But recognize that some people don't.  My response to the "joker" would be, "What is wrong with you?"


UPDATE:
The guy was deadly serious when he ask me if it was my milk. I would have been pissed if he was joking about it, but he wasn't.
Anyway, I mentioned milk today in a different context and he told me he wanted to explain his comment for the other day: He was asking me it was milk from my farm animals, as some months earlier I mentioned that my DH wants to get a cow or a goat. But his English is not perfect (he's latino), and it came out wrong, and when everybody started laughing he was too embarassed to explain himself.
Nothing happens in contrast with Nature, only in contradiction of what we know of it.

astvilla

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10989 on: October 19, 2015, 10:04:01 AM »

Quote
May I add a non-money related one?

Coworker sees me pouring in my coffee milk from a recycled juice bottle, inquires about it, and I explain him I ain't drinking that dairy-fluff stuff they give for free, because it's not actual milk and I prefer knowing what I drink. He looks conspiratorially at me and asks me "Is it your own milk?". The guy next to me almost spit his coffee. (And no, I'm not lactating)


That's sexual harassment.

Nah, the guy is gay, and from a culture that didn't explain him much about female anatomy. He just has no clue how the female body works.
That doesn't make it not sexual harassment. Gay men can absolutely sexually harass women, just like straight women can sexually harass women.

Harassment is always in the eye of the beholder. If she didn't feel harassed, it wasn't harassment. There's no point in trying to convince someone to get offended at something that didn't offend them.
Just in case she was offended at the time and was then trying to rationalize it away after. Rationalizing rape away is common; why wouldn't it be for harassment?

Yeah the guy should be stoned to death, minimum.
Harden the f*ck up people, and give the poor gay guy a break, how dishonest is to put "rape" in the conversation here?
Wow, way to reducto ad absurdum. There are plenty of misunderstandings about definitions and lots of rationalizing in lots of situations. I gave an example, and you went to a weird place.

Perhaps he/she went to a weird place, but I hate it when people use a drastic example as a way of shutting down a discussion. My aunt flipped out when she found out I was a Christian because she doesn't believe that someone should be able to sin and then just ask for forgiveness and be absolved, her example was, "What if someone rapes my daughter," and then pointed at her 3 year old, and then glared at me as if expecting me to defend any such action.

I think some people are misunderstanding maco's comment. The "drastic example" situation that MgoSam brought up usually goes something like this:

X is bad.
Rape is bad.
Therefore X is as bad as rape.

Which is a dumb argument. But this isn't what maco said. They said something more like this:

X is bad.
Rape is a lot worse.
Even though rape is really bad, people often rationalize rape after the fact as being not as bad as it actually was.
If people can rationalize away the badness of rape, they can easily rationalize away the badness of X since it's not as bad as rape.

See? Not the same thing.

I think it's offensive and unfunny.  It's not sexual harassment as I would define it, but it's unpleasant.  People targeting others with jokes about personal/sexual subjects is all too common, and after the thousandth time or so, it gets old, so old.  Also people saying "Lighten up" and "It's just a joke!"  Maybe one time, it's just a joke.  After dozens and dozens, it feels like bullying.  Now, maybe you don't think so, and maybe you think it's funny or harmless or good clean fun or whatever.  But recognize that some people don't.  My response to the "joker" would be, "What is wrong with you?"


UPDATE:
The guy was deadly serious when he ask me if it was my milk. I would have been pissed if he was joking about it, but he wasn't.
Anyway, I mentioned milk today in a different context and he told me he wanted to explain his comment for the other day: He was asking me it was milk from my farm animals, as some months earlier I mentioned that my DH wants to get a cow or a goat. But his English is not perfect (he's latino), and it came out wrong, and when everybody started laughing he was too embarassed to explain himself.

Yeah I wasn't sure what all the hoopla and lynching from the other posters was about.  I was led to believe at first it sounded like what people thought of as sexual harassment.  But when I read and thought about it a bit more, I realized that maybe it was cow milk or something and maybe she had a cow or something.  We didn't know the whole background story that kitsune didn't provide so I thought, well you do put cow's milk into drinks so maybe that's what it was but we don't know.  Anyways I refrained from drawing conclusions until all explanations/evidence was presented...you know, innocent until guilty.

I wonder if that's something wrong with our culture.  It's impossible to convey all details, tone, imagery, of something happening at a particular moment in just text, few do that very well.  We're so quick to lynch people, hang'em on the cross by putting words into peoples' mouths to details we're missing.  I mean we weren't there so we can't cast judgement on the guy.  Kitsune knows it better than us that it was sexual harassment.  That's why she said it wasn't harassment.

It's an issue I'm seeing in comments from media and stories.  Guilty until innocent.  Fiction over fact.  Too many news stories I've watched where details are omitted or slanted to a direction to tell a specific narrative to generate shock, anger, and confirmation of their viewers' prejudices, biases.  You fill the details to fit your "idea" of what happened instead of what actually happened.  Like the Columbia student and the mattress looking to win the court of public opinion, and not the court of law.  We likely will never know what happens in these events so we fill in it ourselves based on our opinions.

It's why I can't stand strongly opinionated people, "extremists...I guess?"  Feminists, misogynists, conservatives, liberals, etc.  They already tell you the story w/out knowing what it is.  They jump to conclusions based on what they believe, not what it actually is and try to buy/manipulate thoughts/minds/influence that way which is really dangerous and the power of US media.  People let emotions and personal beliefs guide the facts on other peoples' stories they don't know about.  It's judging others w/out the background to judge to validate their world view w/out actually knowing the world.  Making people feel like they know everything and when in agreement, collect clicks and money.

This happened to me before on MMM forums.  I made a post some took offense to.  People lynched me.  I explained what I was better trying to say and actually said.  They all apologized and understood and some even agreed w/me later.  There was balance.  There's too much jumping to conclusions these days.  Unless you were there to experience it, we can only conjecture, not make firm statements.


Quite shameful and sad really. 
« Last Edit: October 19, 2015, 10:19:36 AM by astvilla »

FatCat

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10990 on: October 19, 2015, 10:28:39 AM »
UPDATE:
The guy was deadly serious when he ask me if it was my milk. I would have been pissed if he was joking about it, but he wasn't.
Anyway, I mentioned milk today in a different context and he told me he wanted to explain his comment for the other day: He was asking me it was milk from my farm animals, as some months earlier I mentioned that my DH wants to get a cow or a goat. But his English is not perfect (he's latino), and it came out wrong, and when everybody started laughing he was too embarassed to explain himself.

Weirdly enough, I would have just assumed he was asking about milk from your farm animals. It's not at all unusual for people to bring their own milk to work here from their own goats or cows. Asking someone in the lunchroom if they're using their own milk or their own eggs or their own vegetables is not odd at all.

But regarding the question as it was assumed in the situation... If he was asking if it was your own personal human milk as a joke, I would be pissed too. If he's legitimately asking because he's doesn't know that it's an inappropriate question to ask, then I wouldn't be mad about it.

wkumtrider

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10991 on: October 19, 2015, 11:31:48 AM »
A coworker flew his family of 4 to TX to purchase a new truck and drive it back home (about 840 miles one way).  Apparently he saved $12,000 buying it in TX instead of his home town, so even with the airfare, hotel, and gas cost he still came out ahead.

Rollin

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10992 on: October 19, 2015, 11:44:16 AM »
I think it's offensive and unfunny.  It's not sexual harassment as I would define it, but it's unpleasant.  People targeting others with jokes about personal/sexual subjects is all too common, and after the thousandth time or so, it gets old, so old.  Also people saying "Lighten up" and "It's just a joke!"  Maybe one time, it's just a joke.  After dozens and dozens, it feels like bullying.  Now, maybe you don't think so, and maybe you think it's funny or harmless or good clean fun or whatever.  But recognize that some people don't.  My response to the "joker" would be, "What is wrong with you?"

He (the poster above) didn't say "it was just a joke" he said Harden the ....up.  There is a difference.  Now on to more foam - where do you buy your pickles and do ya like the dill or Polish better (sorry if I offend the bread and butter people)?
I love being outside.

Kitsunegari

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10993 on: October 19, 2015, 12:23:10 PM »
UPDATE:
The guy was deadly serious when he ask me if it was my milk. I would have been pissed if he was joking about it, but he wasn't.
Anyway, I mentioned milk today in a different context and he told me he wanted to explain his comment for the other day: He was asking me it was milk from my farm animals, as some months earlier I mentioned that my DH wants to get a cow or a goat. But his English is not perfect (he's latino), and it came out wrong, and when everybody started laughing he was too embarassed to explain himself.



Weirdly enough, I would have just assumed he was asking about milk from your farm animals. It's not at all unusual for people to bring their own milk to work here from their own goats or cows. Asking someone in the lunchroom if they're using their own milk or their own eggs or their own vegetables is not odd at all.

But regarding the question as it was assumed in the situation... If he was asking if it was your own personal human milk as a joke, I would be pissed too. If he's legitimately asking because he's doesn't know that it's an inappropriate question to ask, then I wouldn't be mad about it.

I wasn't mad about it, just speechless. It didn't occur to us that could be talking about farm animals because we work in the middle of a big industrial city, and farm animals are as rare as albino crows here. 
Nothing happens in contrast with Nature, only in contradiction of what we know of it.

mm1970

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10994 on: October 19, 2015, 12:33:34 PM »
I think it's offensive and unfunny.  It's not sexual harassment as I would define it, but it's unpleasant.  People targeting others with jokes about personal/sexual subjects is all too common, and after the thousandth time or so, it gets old, so old.  Also people saying "Lighten up" and "It's just a joke!"  Maybe one time, it's just a joke.  After dozens and dozens, it feels like bullying.  Now, maybe you don't think so, and maybe you think it's funny or harmless or good clean fun or whatever.  But recognize that some people don't.  My response to the "joker" would be, "What is wrong with you?"
I can see this, but for me, it would be context.

A gay guy, non-American, who grew up sheltered and clearly didn't know what was appropriate, saying that?  I'd shrug it off and maybe start teaching him what was appropriate.

Someone else who should know better, and who says stuff like that often?  Totally different, because then it becomes a thing.  (And honestly, I did have to deal with harassment at work at the hands of a gay guy.  Not "sexual" harassment, but just general being an asshole harassment.)

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10995 on: October 19, 2015, 01:28:29 PM »
A coworker flew his family of 4 to TX to purchase a new truck and drive it back home (about 840 miles one way).  Apparently he saved $12,000 buying it in TX instead of his home town, so even with the airfare, hotel, and gas cost he still came out ahead.
Wow, that one's got a few layers on it!  I actually understand the motivation to fly somewhere to get a better deal on a car, especially if you live in the upper midwest and go to a warmer climate to get a rust-free car.  But taking your whole family down there?  That's a bit wasteful.  The idea of spending so much on a truck that it's even *possible* to save $12k is mind-boggling.  $12k is the *most* we've ever spent on a vehicle!

enigmaT120

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10996 on: October 19, 2015, 01:51:39 PM »
A coworker flew his family of 4 to TX to purchase a new truck and drive it back home (about 840 miles one way).  Apparently he saved $12,000 buying it in TX instead of his home town, so even with the airfare, hotel, and gas cost he still came out ahead.

I did that.  Well, I flew to Phoenix AZ to get my '04 Honda Insight and drove it home.  They're so expensive here in Oregon for some reason that if you could stand all the driving, you could make money doing it.  I hate driving.  But yeah, I got the car, plane tickets, lodging for two nights, food from stores, and a little for gas for way less than what higher mileage examples were going for in my area.  And I got to see Joshua Trees.


gimp

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10997 on: October 19, 2015, 02:05:58 PM »
"If you can stand to do all the driving" ... yes, all that horrible seeing the beautiful country we live in... it's a vacation!

"I think it's offensive and unfunny" I want to start a company where people who use that phrase aren't hired. I don't really even care what it's referring to. Oh no, it's offensive. Life is hard being offended.

maco

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10998 on: October 19, 2015, 02:07:25 PM »
"If you can stand to do all the driving" ... yes, all that horrible seeing the beautiful country we live in... it's a vacation!

"I think it's offensive and unfunny" I want to start a company where people who use that phrase aren't hired. I don't really even care what it's referring to. Oh no, it's offensive. Life is hard being offended.
I get the impression there are a lot of people who just don't get that the idea "that's offensive" is in no way a new thing, just a new phrasing. The old phrasing was "them's fightin' words."

FatCat

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #10999 on: October 19, 2015, 02:08:31 PM »
A coworker flew his family of 4 to TX to purchase a new truck and drive it back home (about 840 miles one way).  Apparently he saved $12,000 buying it in TX instead of his home town, so even with the airfare, hotel, and gas cost he still came out ahead.
Wow, that one's got a few layers on it!  I actually understand the motivation to fly somewhere to get a better deal on a car, especially if you live in the upper midwest and go to a warmer climate to get a rust-free car.  But taking your whole family down there?  That's a bit wasteful.  The idea of spending so much on a truck that it's even *possible* to save $12k is mind-boggling.  $12k is the *most* we've ever spent on a vehicle!

I'm guessing they took the whole family so they could turn it into a road trip vacation.