Author Topic: please delete, duplicate posting  (Read 415 times)


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please delete, duplicate posting
« on: September 21, 2017, 10:05:44 AM »
I'm not even sure where to start; I mostly just need a safe place to vent about my sadness regarding my extremely-not-mustachian best friend from high school.

It's been a rough few years for her, I know, after catching her (now-X) H cheating and then going through divorce. She has two young kids and doesn't have a high salary. She recently passed a milestone birthday though and is going through what I guess is a mid-life crisis? I'm astonished and horrified at the financial bits she casually discloses.

Last night she was telling me about a "fitness competition" she's decided to do soon. She's been training for a couple months (paying a trainer and spending a TON of "healthier" food, her words). She spent $700 on a dress earlier this year while she was on vacation (her words: "it would have been $1500 if I bought it here" and "I bought it without any plans because I liked it, because that's how I roll"). Now she's spent another $100 on crystals to add to it to be more "blingy" since she decided to use it for the competition. All this while she can't afford various things for her kids, and is racking up tons of credit card debt.

And then there is the amount of economic outpatient care she receives from her parents. They pay for her car and her phone, and pay for her kids' martial arts and music lessons, and who knows what else. They paid for her trip to Disney World last summer, but didn't pay for all the souvenirs she bought while she was there. I know when she bought her condo that she couldn't actually make ends meet without her parents' help. Any time she comes down to visit, she is super stressed about money, but then she turns around and spends it inexplicably. Last visit she went to her X-BIL's wedding, where she went to the mall to get her makeup done "for free" but spent $100+ on makeup while she was there.

I think I'm mostly sad because I can't even recognize this shallow person she's become, where she cares more about appearance than substance, almost universally. If we lived closer to each other I can't imagine we would still be friends because we have hardly anything in common anymore. So, I guess this becomes a Mustachian-people problem? I can't relate anymore? I don't even want to. I didn't even bother trying to engage on the subject last night, because it is just not worth it anymore. When she used to ask for financial guidance I would make suggestions at her request, but there was always a reason they couldn't work: "couldn't possibly cut cable/would miss my shows". I'm the first to admit that my husband and I are "mustachian-lite": high earners with a decent (not amazing) saving's rate, 40%. But, anytime I speak with my friend, I feel like we are not even in the same universe anymore. I think it hit me really hard last night because one of my closest, smartest, most financially responsible friends died earlier this year, and I feel the void keenly.

Thanks MMM community for providing me with a safe place to ramble.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2017, 10:48:37 AM by FireHiker »