Mostly posting to follow, having finally finished back-reading this thread.
So far, at least the parts I know of my immediate family have been pretty drama-free, although a great-grandparent's New England farmhouse was eventually let go for taxes, deliberately, after a whole herd of cousins my parents' generation couldn't all agree to sell or maintain it. It was not quite old or special enough to be put on the historic register there. Nobody's lived in it for at least 40 years, because it never got indoor plumbing, and the central heating was the 1865 wood stove (also for cooking and baking) that was surely only still there because it was too big and heavy to move.
My parents are both still alive, and their siblings and spouses all seem to be/have been responsible, respectful adults. My dad and his sister have one semi-valuable decorative item they pass back and forth between them, alternating years at Christmas.
I'm in no rush to inherit anything. I don't need more, and my parents are both packrats, especially my mom. The stuff is mostly interesting-but-not-valuable. There are, to my knowledge, no major hygiene issues, no festering seas of empty bottles and cans like in some of the shows. The empty yogurt tubs that "might come in handy someday" (even if they haven't yet) have been washed and neatly stacked, and I won't feel the need to keep them or even account for them, when he time comes. I suspect I may need to comb through pockets, jars, and luggage before donating stuff. That bag of toys I decided I'd outgrown in 4th grade went into the attic and not to the thrift store. And so forth. I'll either be FIRE by then or the need to clean out their house will become the impetus.
I'm probably going to inherit the care of my brother, too. He has the kind of autism that is mild enough that our health care establishments hesitate to diagnose, possibly because the things they might be able to do about it are expensive and ineffective. It's definitely preventing him from holding a good job, whether anyone wants to admit that that's why. Dad still clings to notions of personal responsibility and prods Brother about applying for low-end work that would only frustrate and exhaust him. (Brother has done some driving and data entry work, but isn't cut out for the people parts of anything, and prodding from Dad only ever makes Brother upset, without actually being motivating or helpful.) Dad also thinks Brother is "bad with money," which may be partly true, but also, Brother has never generated enough income to pay the rent and still have much left over to manage.
Brother does tend to come up with a Big Idea that he thinks will be the next great thing, but he seems to lack the wherewithal to either execute on these Big Ideas himself or communicate to anyone else what would need to happen and why—which is endlessly frustrating to Brother and to those of us who occasionally attempt to listen to him.
Brother is getting economic inpatient care from parents, after a landlord closed up shop on a relatively affordable room in a rental house he used to share. Living there puts Brother in range for Dad's opinions and advice, and nobody is very happy about it, but a separate dwelling would cost money that Brother doesn't have and Dad doesn't wish to contribute.
I, meanwhile, got the kind of autism that I've never attempted to get formally diagnosed, because I'm pretty sure that's what it is, and I can mostly mask well enough to hold down a tech job that pays well. I'm the responsible one, and my parents noticed from long ago that I was the cautious tightwad, while my brother only saved his allowance if it was going towards a larger purchase later.
It's likely going to be up to me to negotiate where Brother will live and persuade him to inherit an (existing) annuity as at least part of his portion. I hope he'll let me help organize and automate his finances enough to prevent overdrafts and late fees.
Irritating hassles? Quite possibly. Drama? I'm cautiously optimistic that I might avoid the worst of it.
I'm in no rush to find out.
