Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 309855 times)

CheapskateWife

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 972
  • Location: Central Texas (but not cool enough for Austin)
  • Can I FIRE yet?
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #850 on: December 19, 2016, 07:57:42 AM »
I've seen many divorce cases in which the husband assured his wife that they didn't need to be saving for retirement because they would inherit some family resources. Then they got divorced while MIL was still alive, and wife had no claim to MIL's resources or estate, and there was nothing saved.
Ouchie...this actually happened to my husband in his first marriage.  The second time around, he married up ;-)

talltexan

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 653
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #851 on: December 19, 2016, 08:20:13 AM »
Indeed, my MIL was trying to attribute our success to some family money that my wife inherited before we were married. She can be forgiven for not knowing what's in our 401-k statements.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

zephyr911

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3497
  • Age: 39
  • Location: Northern Alabama
  • I'm just happy to be here. \m/ ^_^ \m/
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #852 on: December 21, 2016, 11:17:39 AM »
By the time the dust settles, the family that was once distant is now fractured, family members and their spouses have lied to each other, had screaming matches, etc etc. Four lawyers' fees taken out of the estate have reduced it down to a fraction of its meagre amount and the Stradivarius is finally retrieved and valued at... less than a grand.

This is so sad.

Personally, I find it hilarious.

They all chose to prioritize their imaginary future wealth over their relationships. And in the end, because they all acted like selfish assholes, they got less than nothing for it. GOOD.
I am not a cog. I am an organizational lubricant.

zephyr911

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3497
  • Age: 39
  • Location: Northern Alabama
  • I'm just happy to be here. \m/ ^_^ \m/
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #853 on: December 21, 2016, 11:18:12 AM »
Indeed, my MIL was trying to attribute our success to some family money that my wife inherited before we were married. She can be forgiven for not knowing what's in our 401-k statements.


Keep it that way. ;)
I am not a cog. I am an organizational lubricant.

firelight

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 881
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #854 on: December 21, 2016, 05:33:08 PM »
This thread has made me very sure that if anyone ever leaves me anything other then money jointly, if we can't amicably work out what to do with it within six months, I will simply relinquish all claim to it. Not worth it.
We have an inheritance story brewing (old grand dad not ready to split property between kids (that was bequeathed to them by their grand parents), one of the kids (! In their late 60s) trying to cheat the other kid out of their share and younger generation from both sides trying to get the best part of the pie). The problem is compounded by the fact that the property in question is worth millions and some of the younger generation (kid trying to cheat and their progeny) are financially dependent on the cash flow from the property. And the kid being cheated and their progeny don't want to fight too hard but want the others to settle fairly.

I've got popcorn popping!!

Shelivesthedream, exactly my sentiments! But in the above story, it's harder to let go because of the value of the property (think a set of real estate and profitable buildings in Manhattan). Thankfully it's not my direct problem (will help my kids though) but also makes it harder because it brings up the question should I fight for my kids since they are < 3 years old and would feel later on that mom should've fought for what was given to us. Makes the decision to let go harder when it's not your own stake.

Our FIRE plans are independent of this shitstorm since we firmly believe our FIRE shouldn't include any inheritance.
Update: the fight is starting to get intense and 60+ years of relationships are being destroyed. The older sibling (who was the reason for all these fights) now claims her dad never gave her anything despite him bankrolling her lifestyle (and her entire family, including kids and their families) for around 50 years. Cousins that grew up together as one family are so distrustful of each other now and are trying to get others (tenants of the buildings in question) to side with them so they can take over by force (since justice by law will take years to settle) if necessary.

I would think it's hilarious if I weren't related to them. Now, it's more like a slow moving train wreck from which I can't avert my eyes :(

coin

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 152
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #855 on: December 22, 2016, 08:34:54 AM »
By the time the dust settles, the family that was once distant is now fractured, family members and their spouses have lied to each other, had screaming matches, etc etc. Four lawyers' fees taken out of the estate have reduced it down to a fraction of its meagre amount and the Stradivarius is finally retrieved and valued at... less than a grand.

Turns out it was a fake. Either Grandpa Al had been swindled back in his 20s or he had bought the thing more recently and just spun a very convincing tall tale without realising how much strife it would cause.

Oh, I actually know a little bit about fake Stradivarius's

Antonio Stradivarius was very famous in his own lifetime, and was charging a pretty penny for his violins.  So, some enterprising people in other countries (Germany, iirc?) would manufacture dodgy knockoff Stradivarius violins and sell 'em.  So!  The violin may very well have been from the time of Stradivarius, which means it's still a pretty damn old violin... Just that some enterprising fellow a few hundred years ago slapped a Stradivarius label on it to make money.

dandarc

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2635
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #856 on: December 22, 2016, 08:49:03 AM »
By the time the dust settles, the family that was once distant is now fractured, family members and their spouses have lied to each other, had screaming matches, etc etc. Four lawyers' fees taken out of the estate have reduced it down to a fraction of its meagre amount and the Stradivarius is finally retrieved and valued at... less than a grand.

Turns out it was a fake. Either Grandpa Al had been swindled back in his 20s or he had bought the thing more recently and just spun a very convincing tall tale without realising how much strife it would cause.

Oh, I actually know a little bit about fake Stradivarius's

Antonio Stradivarius was very famous in his own lifetime, and was charging a pretty penny for his violins.  So, some enterprising people in other countries (Germany, iirc?) would manufacture dodgy knockoff Stradivarius violins and sell 'em.  So!  The violin may very well have been from the time of Stradivarius, which means it's still a pretty damn old violin... Just that some enterprising fellow a few hundred years ago slapped a Stradivarius label on it to make money.
Label's on instruments manufactured today still will often say "Stradivarius" somewhere on them.  But it indicates using a Stradivarius pattern, which if the label is read entirely is clear.  Back when I worked at a music store, probably every 6 months someone would come in with a violin all excited.  "Is this really a Stradivarius violin!?  We found it in Grandma's attic!"  "No - see the label says it was made in 1954.  <explanation of why everyone uses Strad patterns>  Might still be a nice violin though, would you like our shop to take a look at at?"
Link to my journal, so I can find it quickly - http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/dandarc's-journal/

Playing with Fire UK

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1400
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #857 on: December 23, 2016, 12:53:57 AM »
Indeed, my MIL was trying to attribute our success to some family money that my wife inherited before we were married. She can be forgiven for not knowing what's in our 401-k statements.
Keep it that way. ;)

Yes. It depends on context and your family but my MILs have never started an inappropriate conversation about their past kindness without it leading to an opportunity for us to pay it back.

mustachepungoeshere

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1423
  • Location: Sydney, Oz
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #858 on: December 27, 2016, 03:18:44 AM »
A very minor, light-hearted contribution.

Home for Christmas, Mum asked me to order her a copy of a book I knew she already owned.

Turns out she had loaned it to her father, who loaned it to his neighbour, who went into aged care and then ... died.

My dad (jokingly) suggested she make a claim against the estate, but Mum has sort of resigned herself to not getting the book back.

Metric Mouse

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5313
  • FU @ 22. F.I.R.E before 23
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #859 on: December 27, 2016, 04:29:36 AM »
A very minor, light-hearted contribution.

Home for Christmas, Mum asked me to order her a copy of a book I knew she already owned.

Turns out she had loaned it to her father, who loaned it to his neighbour, who went into aged care and then ... died.

My dad (jokingly) suggested she make a claim against the estate, but Mum has sort of resigned herself to not getting the book back.

Ha! I think I'd like your dad.
Give me one fine day of plain sailing weather and I can mess up anything.

MustacheMathTM

Dicey

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5250
  • Age: 59
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #860 on: December 27, 2016, 10:59:25 AM »
A very minor, light-hearted contribution.

Home for Christmas, Mum asked me to order her a copy of a book I knew she already owned.

Turns out she had loaned it to her father, who loaned it to his neighbour, who went into aged care and then ... died.

My dad (jokingly) suggested she make a claim against the estate, but Mum has sort of resigned herself to not getting the book back.
Hmmm, was it by any chance a copy of "Being Mortal" by Atul Gawande?
I did it! I have a journal!
A Lot Like This
And hell yes, I am still moving confidently in the direction of my dreams...

Jakejake

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 701
  • FIRE: June 17, 2016
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #861 on: December 27, 2016, 04:53:12 PM »
I have a self-submission for an anti-drama inheritance story. Almost a year ago a somewhat distant relative/in-law with no direct offspring passed away. We were given the opportunity to walk through the house and claim things we wanted. I found the booze cabinet which I cleaned out since nobody objected, a little basket of thread, needles, elastic and velcro, and a potato ricer. This week is the first time since then I've made mashed potatoes and I gave the potato ricer a try. It's great!

I had a moment of wondering if I should tell my MIL how much I love it and that I am grateful for it. Then I remembered my SIL took the guy's car, heh. No matter, I'm still really excited to have easy mashed potatoes with no effort.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2016, 07:14:02 PM by Jakejake »

Rubic

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 725
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #862 on: December 27, 2016, 06:12:21 PM »
I had a moment of wondering if I should tell my MIL how much I love [the potato ricer] and that I am
grateful for it. Then I remembered my SIL took the guy's car, heh. No matter, I'm still really excited to
have easy mashed potatoes with no effort.

You win the anti-drama category. ;-)

farmerj

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 64
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #863 on: December 27, 2016, 08:58:03 PM »
Since we're opening up to anti-drama:

My great-aunt was a... rather difficult person in life. Four husbands, I believe, at a time when nobody outside of Hollywood would consider that. Got in trouble at her retirement home for pulling a pistol on her boyfriend (he had apparently criticized her cooking).

Her only heirs were my grandfather and his brother. Her will left everything to one of them. In her apartment was found another will that left everything to the other. Both my grandfather and his brother are lawyers... and they split everything amicably down the middle.

carolinap

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 12
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #864 on: December 27, 2016, 09:29:39 PM »
Since we're opening up to anti-drama:

My great-aunt was a... rather difficult person in life. Four husbands, I believe, at a time when nobody outside of Hollywood would consider that. Got in trouble at her retirement home for pulling a pistol on her boyfriend (he had apparently criticized her cooking).

Her only heirs were my grandfather and his brother. Her will left everything to one of them. In her apartment was found another will that left everything to the other. Both my grandfather and his brother are lawyers... and they split everything amicably down the middle.

that is some NEXT LEVEL petty stuff

marion10

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 149
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #865 on: December 27, 2016, 11:07:55 PM »
I was left an inheritance from my grandfather when I was a minor and my father was the trustee. He spent it all - by the time I figured out what was going on and took him to court it was too late- every thing was gone.  My mother in law had Alzheimer's- by the time she died( a widow)- she was on Medicaid. I expect almost no inheritance from my mom- she lives very modestly. She inherited some from her mother but let my father handle it- with predictable results- she has none of it now.


Playing with Fire UK

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1400
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #866 on: December 28, 2016, 08:08:28 AM »
My great-aunt was a... rather difficult person in life. Four husbands, I believe, at a time when nobody outside of Hollywood would consider that. Got in trouble at her retirement home for pulling a pistol on her boyfriend (he had apparently criticized her cooking).

I'm not condoning this behaviour, but I am going to use this story the next time I cook and someone is less than appreciative.

shelivesthedream

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1655
  • Location: UK
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #867 on: December 28, 2016, 09:54:59 AM »
Since we're opening up to anti-drama:

My great-aunt was a... rather difficult person in life. Four husbands, I believe, at a time when nobody outside of Hollywood would consider that. Got in trouble at her retirement home for pulling a pistol on her boyfriend (he had apparently criticized her cooking).

Her only heirs were my grandfather and his brother. Her will left everything to one of them. In her apartment was found another will that left everything to the other. Both my grandfather and his brother are lawyers... and they split everything amicably down the middle.

that is some NEXT LEVEL petty stuff

SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.

Dicey

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5250
  • Age: 59
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #868 on: December 28, 2016, 10:05:42 AM »
Since we're opening up to anti-drama:

My great-aunt was a... rather difficult person in life. Four husbands, I believe, at a time when nobody outside of Hollywood would consider that. Got in trouble at her retirement home for pulling a pistol on her boyfriend (he had apparently criticized her cooking).

Her only heirs were my grandfather and his brother. Her will left everything to one of them. In her apartment was found another will that left everything to the other. Both my grandfather and his brother are lawyers... and they split everything amicably down the middle.

that is some NEXT LEVEL petty stuff

SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.
Sister? What sister?
I did it! I have a journal!
A Lot Like This
And hell yes, I am still moving confidently in the direction of my dreams...

zolotiyeruki

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2037
  • Location: State: Denial
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #869 on: December 28, 2016, 11:07:13 AM »
that is some NEXT LEVEL petty stuff

SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.
Sister? What sister?
The sister who died and left two conflicting wills :)

No Name Guy

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 451
  • Location: Western Washington
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #870 on: December 28, 2016, 01:03:37 PM »
In re the two wills:  Easy....which one was dated later?  Boilerplate in any will is to revoke earlier ones.

If they were dated the same....it sounds like malpractice on the part of the lawyer that drew them up.

Dicey

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5250
  • Age: 59
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #871 on: December 28, 2016, 01:22:23 PM »
that is some NEXT LEVEL petty stuff

SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.
Sister? What sister?
The sister who died and left two conflicting wills :)
<<Head in hands, moaning: Oh, I can't keep up.>> Duh: Their sister. Thank you.
I did it! I have a journal!
A Lot Like This
And hell yes, I am still moving confidently in the direction of my dreams...

Jakejake

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 701
  • FIRE: June 17, 2016
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #872 on: December 28, 2016, 02:06:35 PM »
SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.
It's equally likely that the aunt was starting to have some sort of cognitive decline and was confused about the two of them in some way. My mom's starting to get to that point, for example complaining to my sister recently about how she always thought I was so awful doing a particular thing. Except the thing she didn't like about me was actually something my sister's been doing; not me!  Luckily my sister and I have a sense of humor about it, but I can see how false memories could leave someone confusing two relatives, or forgetting they'd already made a will.

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1404
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
  • www.theliveinlandlord.com
    • The Live-In Landlord
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #873 on: December 28, 2016, 02:10:05 PM »
SUCH POINTS to the brothers, though. They probably knew first-hand exactly how much of a pain it was going to be to contest the other will, and perfectly ruined the sister's attempt to cause a rift.
It's equally likely that the aunt was starting to have some sort of cognitive decline and was confused about the two of them in some way. My mom's starting to get to that point, for example complaining to my sister recently about how she always thought I was so awful doing a particular thing. Except the thing she didn't like about me was actually something my sister's been doing; not me!  Luckily my sister and I have a sense of humor about it, but I can see how false memories could leave someone confusing two relatives, or forgetting they'd already made a will.
Indeed. My great-aunt, who was supported financially by my parents and my mother in particular for many years, left everything to a niece who physically resembled her but who had not helped at all during her illness and last decline. It was extremely ironic to see assets provided by my parents given to a relative that despised them.
I squeak softly, but carry a big schtick.

farmerj

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 64
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #874 on: December 28, 2016, 03:28:49 PM »
A bit more confusion than necessary, and caused by me. She was actually a great-great aunt, so not their sister after all.

Quote
It's equally likely that the aunt was starting to have some sort of cognitive decline and was confused about the two of them in some way.

She definitely was on the decline, but she always beforehand went back and forth on who was In and who was Out. The lurid family theory was that the multiple wills were a last bid for notoriety. While she didn't have any children, there are many stories about her that are being carried on to future generations.

rachellynn99

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 112
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #875 on: December 28, 2016, 03:49:54 PM »
I married into a family with 5 siblings, my husband is the youngest by about 16 years. I noticed that at his mother's home there were little tiny notes taped on things such as the china cabinet, lamps, vases etc. Nothing you would notice just by being in the home, but the more time I spent there and helped organize, clean, decorate for Christmas etc. I certainly noticed them. The 4 sisters and one granddaughter were placing claim on what they wanted when my in laws died. I found it distasteful and just really strange.

geekette

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1473
  • Location: Cary, NC
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #876 on: December 28, 2016, 05:11:23 PM »
Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well. 

appleblossom

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 74
  • Location: New Zealand
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #877 on: December 28, 2016, 08:07:07 PM »
Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.

To an extent this was a thing with my grandmother's house as well. Things were specifically earmarked by her for particular people, and when she died for the most part they went there, except there weren't notes and my aunt got carried away and gave some things to the wrong people.
But if it is just people claiming things, rather than the owner assigning them, its a bit distasteful.

Taran Wanderer

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 463
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #878 on: December 28, 2016, 11:54:22 PM »
Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.

To an extent this was a thing with my grandmother's house as well. Things were specifically earmarked by her for particular people, and when she died for the most part they went there, except there weren't notes and my aunt got carried away and gave some things to the wrong people.
But if it is just people claiming things, rather than the owner assigning them, its a bit distasteful.

This was a thing in our family as well.  When my grandparents died, we all went in and picked up the things that we had previously claimed.  Then we sat down as a family and talked about some of the larger things like the piano, dining room table, and other large items.  Those things that were wanted were removed.  Then we held an estate sale and the house was cleaned out.  I mean, it was amazing, all the stuff that our family rejected just disappeared out the door like it was gold or something.

I really wanted one of the sewing machines because, really, how can you live your life without a sewing machine?  And I picked up a few picture frames and knickknacks, mostly things that I had given to my grandparents as Christmas gifts over the years.  The whole labeling thing made it really easy.

Villanelle

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1789
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #879 on: December 29, 2016, 01:26:51 AM »
My mom knows I would like (and has said I should get) her charm bracelet and the cedar hope chest she got from her mother as a present when mom was young.  The bracelet likely has some monetary value because it is gold, but I'm sure it is >$1000 (perhaps even half that; I really have no idea what the going rate for gold is compared to the amount in a bracelet and charms).  The chest is a nice piece of solid wood furniture, but it's not a precious antique, so again, probably not more than a couple hundred dollars, if that.

I do wish mom would put this in writing, but I understand why she doesn't want to.  My sister is a reasonable person, and I know she couldn't quibble over the value of the items, but if she happens to want the same items, then it could get difficult, I suppose.  There may be other things that I'd be able to use, but those are the only things I'd be disappointed if I don't get.  I can't think of a tactful way to ask mom to tell sister, or write it down, so I guess I'll just have to hope for the best. 

merula

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 737
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #880 on: December 29, 2016, 07:57:41 AM »
Continuing the anti-drama stories:

My grandma died when I was 2. Some of her books that she wanted my dad to have been on shelves in their house, more or less untouched, ever since.

Except for her copy of Jane Eyre, which I found and read when I was around 12, and became my favorite novel. I've mentioned a few times how much I loved reading her copy of the book, and how much I'd love to have it, but every time it seemed to go in one ear and out the other. To the point that, if they were downsizing, they might get rid of it without realizing what it meant to me.

So I enlisted my sister to suggest that they could give me that book for Christmas and I'd love it. And they did. And both me and my dad were tearing up on Christmas morning, me out of gratitude and he thinking how much Grandma would've loved my love of books.

If I get nothing else from my parents, I will still be happy.

K-ice

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 651
  • Location: Canada
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #881 on: December 29, 2016, 09:27:04 AM »
That's a great book story.

I have mixed feelings about the naming of items.

But at the same time it's good to let people know you appreciate stuff.

My mom had some of my grandmother's clothse. I liked one particular long dress with a cape trimmed in fur. My fur feelings are mixed & I would not buy fur today but this was a vintage, classy piece.

Sadly, I found out it got donated when my mom was decluttering. :(

mustachepungoeshere

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1423
  • Location: Sydney, Oz
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #882 on: December 30, 2016, 01:09:02 AM »
My mom had some of my grandmother's clothse. I liked one particular long dress with a cape trimmed in fur. My fur feelings are mixed & I would not buy fur today but this was a vintage, classy piece.

Sadly, I found out it got donated when my mom was decluttering. :(

When my grandfather sold his farm and began preparing to downsize, Mum mentioned that his granddaughters (including me) would like his racing silks.

His response? "Oh, I burned those."

Not sentimental about possessions, the old man.

Playing with Fire UK

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1400
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #883 on: December 30, 2016, 01:22:51 AM »
We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

GilbertB

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 98
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Gent
    • Sci-fi Meandering
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #884 on: December 30, 2016, 01:36:33 AM »
Gramps dies.
I take time to go there to help my mum and aunt.
(Side note, my mum and aunt are borderline poverty level, but educated)
I go with her around the house, and she is interested in the big value items.
But I notice that my gramps has accumulated maybe 200 to 400 tech/history magazines from the 1950 to 1980, i tell her that those are worth 5 to 20 each on EBay, so at least 2000 net.
Same thing with books and other things, all in all a minimum of 15000, and I also offer to buy some books that have a sentimental value above EBay prices etc.
I also offer that between my sister, cousin (aunt's daughter) we take charge of that and only skim enough to pay postage on the items as neither my Aunt or Mum "do" internet...

Aunt starts to get $ signs in her eyes, starts getting suspicious, says that me coming to help is strange, and finally says to my mum that I'm dishonest and probably there to steal them...
And she shuts the whole thing down..
At that moment, my sister, brother, cousin and I had started to create a common EBay account so we could divide the work and help our Mums by donating time and hassle:
- Sister would do the clothes as she is good at floging that.
- Brother would do all the small but valuable.
- Cousin would do all the big items (very nice furniture, decorative items...)
- I would do the magazines and books...
Both brother and sister had to cancel booked flights etc, when aunt lost it.

In the end, we salvaged bits and bobs, and the big ticket items got sold way too cheap...
Both my mum were totally incapable of selling anything else...
The books and furniture got donated, the rest went in the trash.

All in all my mum and aunt pissed on at least 20 000 (one year of post tax earning each) because they could not trust their kids... All of us have jobs, families and no history of shenanigans, so I am lost for words about their behaviour and some valuable (to me) heirlooms of my gramp are in some trash heap somewhere.

Pathetic.

StarBright

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 718
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #885 on: December 30, 2016, 07:20:04 AM »
We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

That is amazing! Little bits like this often remind me of how GOOD people are - love it and thanks for sharing.

infogoon

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 770
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #886 on: December 30, 2016, 01:09:09 PM »
We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

An old work friend of mine went to his father's house to visit -- when he got there, his dad was decluttering the downstairs living space and had tossed his wedding portrait in the garbage.

"Dad, you can't throw out your wedding picture. That's been over the fireplace forever."

"Eh, fuck it. She's dead."

I thought I was unsentimental, but that was a whole new level.

gaja

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 706
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #887 on: December 30, 2016, 06:01:22 PM »
We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

An old work friend of mine went to his father's house to visit -- when he got there, his dad was decluttering the downstairs living space and had tossed his wedding portrait in the garbage.

"Dad, you can't throw out your wedding picture. That's been over the fireplace forever."

"Eh, fuck it. She's dead."

I thought I was unsentimental, but that was a whole new level.

This is the best one yet. Don't know if that level of living in the now is something to strive for or something to avoid...
Travelling southern Norway, Iceland and the Faroes in an electric car: http://travelelectric.blogspot.no/

firelight

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 881
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #888 on: December 30, 2016, 10:16:02 PM »
We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

An old work friend of mine went to his father's house to visit -- when he got there, his dad was decluttering the downstairs living space and had tossed his wedding portrait in the garbage.

"Dad, you can't throw out your wedding picture. That's been over the fireplace forever."

"Eh, fuck it. She's dead."

I thought I was unsentimental, but that was a whole new level.

This is the best one yet. Don't know if that level of living in the now is something to strive for or something to avoid...
I can totally see my husband do it. He doesn't like any of our wedding pics. If anything, he'd hang on to the engagement pics and candid shots of us since those are his favorites.

Playing with Fire UK

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1400
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #889 on: December 31, 2016, 02:49:21 AM »
We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

That is amazing! Little bits like this often remind me of how GOOD people are - love it and thanks for sharing.

Yes, it was a wonderful thing to do. She explained all the things that she'd done (looking up marriage records, school uniforms, churches) to track us down.

Kitsune

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1549
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #890 on: December 31, 2016, 08:33:01 AM »
We got a random call from someone who had bought a photo album from a charity shop and found all our family photos in it. They'd tracked us down to give them back. It was really good of them. These covered generations and most of them were before photography went digital so they were a unique collection.

My unsentimental family had tossed them all out while decluttering.

An old work friend of mine went to his father's house to visit -- when he got there, his dad was decluttering the downstairs living space and had tossed his wedding portrait in the garbage.

"Dad, you can't throw out your wedding picture. That's been over the fireplace forever."

"Eh, fuck it. She's dead."

I thought I was unsentimental, but that was a whole new level.

This is the best one yet. Don't know if that level of living in the now is something to strive for or something to avoid...
I can totally see my husband do it. He doesn't like any of our wedding pics. If anything, he'd hang on to the engagement pics and candid shots of us since those are his favorites.

Meanwhile, my husband has our wedding picture on his desk and a different one as one of the backgrounds to his phone, and I recently overheard him explaining to our toddler "that's a picture from when I married your mama! Isn't she so pretty?"  :)

THAT said, we don't have any engagement pics, and fairly few candid pics since I'm usually the one with the camera, so...

talltexan

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 653
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #891 on: January 03, 2017, 07:47:18 AM »
If you keep one picture of someone, you probably want it to be the wedding one. It's the one you paid the most to get, after all.

rockstache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1943
  • Age: 2013
  • Location: Northeast
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #892 on: January 03, 2017, 12:41:37 PM »
I recently overheard him explaining to our toddler "that's a picture from when I married your mama! Isn't she so pretty?"  :)

MELT!

The only thing I remember my dad ever saying about my mom was something about hoping she went skydiving without a parachute. They're not together anymore.

BabyShark

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 163
  • Location: Virginia
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #893 on: January 03, 2017, 09:19:40 PM »
I love this thread.

I've got some impending potential drama brewing.

Bit of background: my dad stopped speaking to his brother and sister probably 15 and 10 years ago respectively. They both live in the same state as their dad, but my immediate family all lived in a different state. Of the three, my dad was the one who took care of grandpa, making sure he was covered, paying for his house and all that even when my aunt moved in with grandpa rent free during her separation and eventual divorce. Grandpa didn't like the idea of my dad just giving him money so he signed promissory notes indicating that the money dad gave him would be paid back by grandpa's estate. The notes were clear and they were even mentioned in grandpa's will. Dad was supposed to be the executor of grandpa'a estate.

Fast forward to December 2015 and my dad passes away after a decently lengthy cancer battle that eventually went to his brain, making him bed ridden and not all with it. Grandpa is still living. My mom has decided she's going to enforce the promissory notes against grandpa's eventual estate, not because she'll need the money, but to prevent aunt and uncle, who suddenly reappeared to play the roles of grieving siblings at my dad's service, from getting the money. Mom thinks they don't know about the notes, I'm not too sure. Grandpa claims about six months before dad died, dad told him he was ripping up the notes and not to worry about them.

Not a week after my dad's funeral, we learn that uncle has taken grandpa to get his will redrafted. Not looking forward to the near certain drama over this. Even without the notes, the estate won't be worth much. I've been trying to convince my mom it's not worth fighting with my aunt and uncle but I've gotten nowhere.

mustachepungoeshere

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1423
  • Location: Sydney, Oz
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #894 on: January 03, 2017, 09:38:53 PM »
I love this thread.

I've got some impending potential drama brewing.

Bit of background: my dad stopped speaking to his brother and sister probably 15 and 10 years ago respectively. They both live in the same state as their dad, but my immediate family all lived in a different state. Of the three, my dad was the one who took care of grandpa, making sure he was covered, paying for his house and all that even when my aunt moved in with grandpa rent free during her separation and eventual divorce. Grandpa didn't like the idea of my dad just giving him money so he signed promissory notes indicating that the money dad gave him would be paid back by grandpa's estate. The notes were clear and they were even mentioned in grandpa's will. Dad was supposed to be the executor of grandpa'a estate.

Fast forward to December 2015 and my dad passes away after a decently lengthy cancer battle that eventually went to his brain, making him bed ridden and not all with it. Grandpa is still living. My mom has decided she's going to enforce the promissory notes against grandpa's eventual estate, not because she'll need the money, but to prevent aunt and uncle, who suddenly reappeared to play the roles of grieving siblings at my dad's service, from getting the money. Mom thinks they don't know about the notes, I'm not too sure. Grandpa claims about six months before dad died, dad told him he was ripping up the notes and not to worry about them.

Not a week after my dad's funeral, we learn that uncle has taken grandpa to get his will redrafted. Not looking forward to the near certain drama over this. Even without the notes, the estate won't be worth much. I've been trying to convince my mom it's not worth fighting with my aunt and uncle but I've gotten nowhere.

Wow, I read this with interest expecting the aunt and uncle to be trouble, but I did not expect that twist from Grandpa!

Metric Mouse

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5313
  • FU @ 22. F.I.R.E before 23
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #895 on: January 04, 2017, 04:53:24 AM »
If you keep one picture of someone, you probably want it to be the wedding one. It's the one you paid the most to get, after all.

One can certainly give up a lot for those photos.
Give me one fine day of plain sailing weather and I can mess up anything.

MustacheMathTM

BabyShark

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 163
  • Location: Virginia
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #896 on: January 04, 2017, 07:14:36 AM »
I love this thread.

I've got some impending potential drama brewing.

Bit of background: my dad stopped speaking to his brother and sister probably 15 and 10 years ago respectively. They both live in the same state as their dad, but my immediate family all lived in a different state. Of the three, my dad was the one who took care of grandpa, making sure he was covered, paying for his house and all that even when my aunt moved in with grandpa rent free during her separation and eventual divorce. Grandpa didn't like the idea of my dad just giving him money so he signed promissory notes indicating that the money dad gave him would be paid back by grandpa's estate. The notes were clear and they were even mentioned in grandpa's will. Dad was supposed to be the executor of grandpa'a estate.

Fast forward to December 2015 and my dad passes away after a decently lengthy cancer battle that eventually went to his brain, making him bed ridden and not all with it. Grandpa is still living. My mom has decided she's going to enforce the promissory notes against grandpa's eventual estate, not because she'll need the money, but to prevent aunt and uncle, who suddenly reappeared to play the roles of grieving siblings at my dad's service, from getting the money. Mom thinks they don't know about the notes, I'm not too sure. Grandpa claims about six months before dad died, dad told him he was ripping up the notes and not to worry about them.

Not a week after my dad's funeral, we learn that uncle has taken grandpa to get his will redrafted. Not looking forward to the near certain drama over this. Even without the notes, the estate won't be worth much. I've been trying to convince my mom it's not worth fighting with my aunt and uncle but I've gotten nowhere.

Wow, I read this with interest expecting the aunt and uncle to be trouble, but I did not expect that twist from Grandpa!

Yea, we're not sure when this would have happened because those six months would have been when dad was at his least coherent and was only really able to have conversations for a few minutes at a time.  He never mentioned this to my mom which is what makes it suspicious because when he was with it, they talked a lot about future plans since it was clear he was deteriorating pretty rapidly. 

Uncle and dad also owned a building in the city in which my parents live, even though they didn't speak, dad would still send him his portion of the rental income every month or so.  Again, less than a week after dad's death, uncle starts hounding mom about selling the building because uncle wants his money from it.  Mom eventually bought uncle out, so that headache has ended fortunately.  It's just going to be a nightmare. 

And I'm sure if one of my cousins or even my aunt/uncle was telling this story, it'd be all about how my mom is an evil in-law.  Really, it's just a crappy situation all around because my dad was supposed to be here to mediate with his family and now my mom is left doing it and she never really got along with her in-laws in the first place.

Spiffy

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 68
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #897 on: January 04, 2017, 11:41:20 AM »
Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.
This is a joke in my family. Whenever my parents get something new, my brothers or I say, "put my name on that!" Or if there is something really ugly my Mom asks,"Shall I put your name on this?" We all think it is hilarious and I do not doubt that we will find thing with our names actually on them after our parents are gone (a long time from now, hopefully). And we will laugh through the tears.

CheapskateWife

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 972
  • Location: Central Texas (but not cool enough for Austin)
  • Can I FIRE yet?
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #898 on: January 04, 2017, 12:33:35 PM »
Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.
This is a joke in my family. Whenever my parents get something new, my brothers or I say, "put my name on that!" Or if there is something really ugly my Mom asks,"Shall I put your name on this?" We all think it is hilarious and I do not doubt that we will find thing with our names actually on them after our parents are gone (a long time from now, hopefully). And we will laugh through the tears.
There is an artisan glass bowl in my Mom and Dad's house that is the most hideous thing I've ever seen; and gets used as a weapon to make us behave..."If you don't straighten up, I'm giving you the bowl."  Works every time.

zolotiyeruki

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2037
  • Location: State: Denial
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #899 on: January 04, 2017, 02:26:44 PM »
Actually this is a "thing" in our family, too, and encouraged.  Things that are special to someone are generally marked (with permission, of course).  Nothing of great consequence, but my name's on a mantle clock I remember working on with my Dad as a child (okay, Dad worked, I watched).  I'm pretty sure my sisters have something with their name on it as well.
This is a joke in my family. Whenever my parents get something new, my brothers or I say, "put my name on that!" Or if there is something really ugly my Mom asks,"Shall I put your name on this?" We all think it is hilarious and I do not doubt that we will find thing with our names actually on them after our parents are gone (a long time from now, hopefully). And we will laugh through the tears.
There is an artisan glass bowl in my Mom and Dad's house that is the most hideous thing I've ever seen; and gets used as a weapon to make us behave..."If you don't straighten up, I'm giving you the bowl."  Works every time.
Hmmm.  I wonder if my parents still have that pink hairbrush they used to spank us....  I want my name on that one!